In their foolhardy quest to collect every item, this player comes 6,157 short.

• Franken Stein
• "DEBBIE" tattoo kit
• "Humorous" T-shirt
• "I survived Y2K" T-Shirt
• "Remember the Trees" Shirt
• "caramel" orange
• "honey" dipper
• "meat" stick
• 'Villa' document
• 1 Meat
• 1,970 carat gold
• 1.21 jigawatts
• 1/6th Pound Cake
• 100-Watt bulb
• 11-leaf clover
• 17-ball
• 18-picohertz resonator crystal
• 1952 Mickey Mantle card
• 20-lb can of rice and beans
• 2002 Mr. Store Catalog
• 4-d camera
• 5-Alarm Saucepan
• 5-hour acrimony
• 7-inch discus
• 9-ball
• 99.44% pure math
• A Beginner's Guide to Charming Snakes
• A Beginner's Guide to Charming Snakes (used)
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 1
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 1 (used)
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 2
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 2 (used)
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 3
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 3 (used)
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 4
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 4 (used)
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 5
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 5 (used)
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 6
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 6 (used)
• A Guide to Burning Leaves
• A. W. O. L. commendation
• Abuela Crimbo's special magnet
• Abyssal ember
• Acqua Del Piatto Merlot
• Acque Luride Grezze Cabernet
• Adventurer bobblehead
• Adventurer's Kit
• Aerheads
• Affirmation Cookie
• Agent Corrigan's cigarette
• Agent Mauve
• Aiolion
• Aldebaran sardines
• Alexy sauce
• Alice's Army Foil Alchemist
• Alice's Army Foil Bowman
• Alice's Army Foil Cleric
• Alice's Army Foil Coward
• Alice's Army Foil Dervish
• Alice's Army Foil Guard
• Alice's Army Foil Halberder
• Alice's Army Foil Hammerman
• Alice's Army Foil Lanceman
• Alice's Army Foil Mad Bomber
• Alice's Army Foil Martyr
• Alice's Army Foil Ninja
• Alice's Army Foil Nurse
• Alice's Army Foil Page
• Alice's Army Foil Shieldmaiden
• Alice's Army Foil Sniper
• Alice's Army Foil Spearsman
• Alice's Army Foil Swordsman
• Alice's Army Foil tattoo
• Alice's Army booster box
• All-Hallow's Steve's fright wig
• Aluminum Epsilon of Humility
• Amanitee
• Ambitious Turkey
• Amoon-Ra Cowtep's nemes
• Amulet of Perpetual Darkness
• Amulet of Yendor
• Anniversary Miniature Sword & Martini Guy
• Annual Ascot
• Antagonistic Snowman Kit
• Apathargic Bandersnatch
• Apriling band helmet
• Argarggagarg's fang
• Arr, M80
• Arrow (+1)
• Arrrmetia trading card
• Ascension Souvenir T-Shirt
• Asdon Martin keyfob (on ring)
• Asleep in the Cemetery
• Ass-Stompers of Violence
• Atomic Comic
• AutumnFest ale
• Ax of L'rose
• Azurite
• BGE 'cuddly critter' shirt
• BGE 'ferocious fruit' shirt
• BGE pocket calendar
• BGE shotglass
• BGE temporary tattoo
• BGE tiny plastic toy
• BOOtonniere
• BRAINS shorts
• BRICKO airship
• BRICKO cathedral
• BRICKO elephant
• BRICKO gargantuchicken
• BRICKO pyramid
• BRICKO vacuum cleaner
• BUBBLE GUM
• BURT
• Bag o' Tricks
• Baja sopapilla
• Bal-musette accordion
• Banfoy's Boutique Order Form
• Barney's rake
• Baron von Ratsworth's money clip
• Bash-Ōs boxtop
• Bastille Battalion Fondue Trophy
• Bastille Battalion cheese wheel
• Bastille Battalion control rig
• Bastille Battalion control rig crate
• Bastille Battalion control rig loaner voucher
• Bastille Battalion tattoo kit
• Batfellow comic
• Beach Buck
• Beach Comb
• Beach Comb Box
• Bee's Knees
• Belt of Loathing
• Benetton's Medley of Diversity
• Better Shrooms and Gardens catalog
• Bettie page
• Bicycle
• Biddy Cracker's Old-Fashioned Cookbook
• Big Candy's tophat
• Bigger Bugfinder Blade
• Bird-a-Day calendar
• BittyCar HotCar
• BittyCar MeatCar
• BittyCar SoulCar
• Bjorn's Hammer
• Black Angus blackburger
• Black Bart's Booty
• Black Hole
• Black and White Apron Enrollment Form
• Black and White Apron Meal Kit
• Blatantly Canadian
• Blizzards I Have Died In
• Blood 'n' Plenty
• Blue Diamond of Honesty
• Bluzzard
• Boltsmann ID badge
• Bone's Farm "wine"
• Bonestabber
• Book of Old-Timey Carols
• Booke of Vampyric Knowledge
• Boosty Juice
• Boris's Helm
• Boris's Helm (askew)
• Boris's beer
• Boris's bread
• Boris's ring
• Boss Drops
• Bowl of Scorpions
• Bowlet
• Boxing Day Pass
• Boxing Day care package
• Brain Food Pastaco
• Brand of Violence
• Breathetastic™ Premium Canned Air
• Breathitin™
• Brimstone Beret
• Brimstone Bludgeon
• Brimstone Boxers
• Brimstone Bracelet
• Brimstone Brooch
• Brimstone Bunker
• Brogre brolo shirt
• Brogre brorts
• Brogre bucket hat
• Buddy Bjorn
• Bugfinder Blade
• Build-a-City Gingerbread kit
• Bulky Buddy Box
• Bustle Hustler
• Buttery Boy
• Byte
• C.B.F.G.
• C.H.U.M. lantern
• CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 1)
• CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 2)
• CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 3)
• CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 4)
• CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 4) (used)
• CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 5)
• CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 5) (used)
• CRIMBCO lanyard
• CRIMBCO mug
• CRIMBCO scrip
• CRIMBCO wine
• CRIMBCOIDS mints
• CRIMBCOLOAF
• CSA all-purpose soap
• CSA fire-starting kit
• Cajun accordion
• Calzone of Legend
• Camp Scout backpack
• Can of Spaghetto
• Cantelope
• Caramel
• Cargo Cultist Shorts
• Carol of the Bulls
• Carol of the Bulls (used)
• Carol of the Hells
• Carol of the Hells (used)
• Carol of the Thrills
• Carol of the Thrills (used)
• Carpricorn
• Cat-Herding Prod
• Caveman Dan's favorite rock
• Celsius 233
• Celsius 233 (singed)
• Centauri fish wine
• Chalice of the Malkovich Prince
• Champagne Shimmy
• Charleston Choo-Choo
• Charleston shoes
• Charter: Nellyville
• Chateau Mantegna room key
• Ched
• Cheer-Up soda
• Chef Boy, R&D's business card
• Cherry Cloaca Cola
• Cheshire Bitten
• Chester's Aquarius medallion
• Chester's bag of candy
• Chester's cutoffs
• Chester's moustache
• Chester's muscle shirt
• Chester's sunglasses
• ChibiBuddy™ (off)
• ChibiBuddy™ (on)
• Children's Meal of the Damned
• Chinese curse words
• Choker of the Ultragoth
• Chorale of Companionship
• Chori Zo trading card
• Chroner
• Chroner cross
• Chroner trigger
• Chubby and Plump bar
• Churchill
• Cincho de Mayo
• Cinco Mayo Lager
• Clan Carnival Game
• Clan Floundry
• Clan VIP Lounge invitation
• Clan VIP Lounge key
• Clan hot dog stand
• Clan looking glass
• Clan pool table
• Clan shower
• Clan speakeasy
• Clara's bell
• Claw of the Infernal Seal
• Climate Colada
• Cloaca-Cola c-rations
• Cloaca-Cola knapsack
• Cloaca-Cola-issue combat knife
• Cobra Bowl
• Cocktails of the Age of Sail
• Cocktails of the Age of Sail (used)
• Coinspiracy
• Cold Fang
• Cold Stone of Hatred
• Colera Peste Nebbiolo
• Comet Drop
• Comma Chameleon egg
• Comprehensive Cartographic Compendium
• Comprehensive Cartographic Compendium (well-read)
• Connery's Elixir of Audacity
• Conspiracy™ mascara
• Cookbook of the Damned
• Copper Alpha of Sincerity
• Cornbeefadon
• Cosmic Calorie
• Counterclockwise Watch
• Covers-Your-Head
• Crazymaker
• Crepes a la Lune
• Crimbeau de toilette
• Crimbo Carol tattoo kit
• Crimbo Cheer tattoo kit
• Crimbo Commerce tattoo kit
• Crimbo Elf creepy bobble-head
• Crimbo Factory surprise box
• Crimbo P. R. E. S. S. I. E.
• Crimbo bottomless hot cocoa mug
• Crimbo candle
• Crimbo cookie sheet
• Crimbo crystal shards
• Crimbo dinner
• Crimbo dog sweater
• Crimbo food scraps
• Crimbo hat
• Crimbo light-up Rudolph doll
• Crimbo pants
• Crimbo paste
• Crimbo pressie
• Crimbo sapling
• Crimbo smile
• Crimbo stocking
• Crimbo stockings
• Crimbo stogie-scented room odorizer
• Crimbo sword
• Crimbo tattoo kit
• Crimbo train emergency brake
• Crimbo training manual
• Crimbo tree flocker
• Crimbo ukulele
• Crimbo wreath
• Crimbojito
• Crimbolex watch
• Crimbomination Contraption
• Crimbosmopolitan
• Crimbot ROM: Mathematical Precision
• Crimbot ROM: Mathematical Precision (dirty)
• Crimbot ROM: Ruthless Efficiency
• Crimbot battery
• Crimbot schematic: Big Wheel
• Crimbot schematic: Bit Masher
• Crimbot schematic: Bug Zapper
• Crimbot schematic: Camera Claw
• Crimbot schematic: Candle Lighter
• Crimbot schematic: Cold Shoulder
• Crimbot schematic: Crab Core
• Crimbot schematic: Cyclopean Torso
• Crimbot schematic: Dynamo Head
• Crimbot schematic: Grease / Regular Gun
• Crimbot schematic: Grease Gun
• Crimbot schematic: Gun Face
• Crimbot schematic: Gun Legs
• Crimbot schematic: Heavy-Duty Legs
• Crimbot schematic: High-Speed Fan
• Crimbot schematic: Hoverjack
• Crimbot schematic: Lamp Filler
• Crimbot schematic: Maxi-Mag Lite
• Crimbot schematic: Mega Vise
• Crimbot schematic: Mobile Girder
• Crimbot schematic: Nerding Module
• Crimbot schematic: Power Arm
• Crimbot schematic: Really Big Head
• Crimbot schematic: Refrigerator Chassis
• Crimbot schematic: Rivet Shocker
• Crimbot schematic: Rocket Skirt
• Crimbot schematic: Rollerfeet
• Crimbot schematic: Security Chassis
• Crimbot schematic: Sim-Simian Feet
• Crimbot schematic: Snow Blower
• Crimbot schematic: Swiss Arm
• Crimbot schematic: Tripod Legs
• Crimbough
• Crimbow Rainbo
• Crimboween memo
• Crimboysters Rockefeller
• Crimbuccaneer bombjacket
• Crimbuccaneer breeches
• Crimbuccaneer captain's purse
• Crimbuccaneer fledges (disintegrating)
• Crimbuccaneer fledges (mint)
• Crimbuccaneer flotsam
• Crimbuccaneer invasion map
• Crimbuccaneer lantern
• Crimbuccaneer mologrog cocktail
• Crimbuccaneer nose ring
• Crimbuccaneer piece of 12
• Crimbuccaneer premium booty sack
• Crimbuccaneer rigging lasso
• Crimbuccaneer runebone
• Crimbuccaneer shirt
• Crimbuccaneer squirtblunderbuss
• Crimbuccaneer tattoo gift certificate
• Crimbuccaneer tavern swab
• Crimbuccaneer tricorn
• Crimbuccaneer war standard
• Crimbuccaneer whale oil
• Crimbylow-rise jeans
• Crown of Thrones
• Cycloney
• DIY protonic accelerator kit
• DNOTC Box
• DUFRESNE Suds
• Dad's brandy
• Daily Affirmation: Adapt to Change Eventually
• Daily Affirmation: Always be Collecting
• Daily Affirmation: Be Superficially interested
• Daily Affirmation: Be a Mind Master
• Daily Affirmation: Keep Free Hate in your Heart
• Daily Affirmation: Think Win-Lose
• Daily Affirmation: Work For Hours a Week
• Dallas Dynasty Falcon Crest shield
• Danglin' Chad's loincloth
• Dark Jill-O-Lantern
• Dark Jill-of-All-Trades
• Das Überkühlraum trading card
• Daylight Shavings Helmet
• Deactivated MiniMechaElf
• Deactivated O. A. F.
• Dear Past Self Package
• Deck of Every Card
• Deep Dish of Legend
• Devil's Elbow Hot Sauce
• Diamond HP-35 Calculator
• Dickory Farms Gift Basket
• Diet Cloaca Cola
• Dinsey Maintenance Manual
• Dinsey Whinskey
• Dinsey food-cone
• Dinsey tattoo kit
• Dinsey's brain
• Dinsey's glove
• Dinsey's oculus
• Dinsey's pants
• Dinsey's pizza cutter
• Dinsey's radar dish
• Discontent™ Winter Garden Catalog
• Discount Telescope Warehouse gift certificate
• Disgeist
• Dish of Clarified Butter
• Distant Woods Getaway Brochure
• Doc Clock's thyme cocktail
• Doc's Fortifying Wine
• Doc's Limbering Wine
• Doc's Medical-Grade Wine
• Doc's Miracle Cure
• Doc's Smartifying Wine
• Doc's Special Reserve Wine
• Doll Moll violin case
• Dolph Bossin's Crimbo hat
• Doublepunchplanter
• Dragonscale breastplate
• Dramatic™ range
• Drapes-You-Regally
• Dreadsylvania Auditor's badge
• Dreadsylvanian Almanac page
• Dreadsylvanian clockwork key
• Dreadsylvanian cold pocket
• Dreadsylvanian cold-fashioned
• Dreadsylvanian dank and stormy
• Dreadsylvanian grimlet
• Dreadsylvanian hemlock
• Dreadsylvanian hot pocket
• Dreadsylvanian hot toddy
• Dreadsylvanian seed pod
• Dreadsylvanian shepherd's pie
• Dreadsylvanian skeleton key
• Dreadsylvanian sleaze pocket
• Dreadsylvanian slithery nipple
• Dreadsylvanian spooky pocket
• Dreadsylvanian stew
• Dreadsylvanian stink pocket
• Dressage
• Drip Institute petri dish
• Drip harness
• Driplet
• Dripwood slab
• Drunk Uncles holo-record
• Drunken Astrophysicist
• Drunkula's bell
• Drunkula's cape
• Drunkula's ring of haze
• Drunkula's silky pants
• Drunkula's wineglass
• Duke Vampire's regal cloak
• Dungeon Fist gauntlet
• Dust bunny
• Dweebisol™ inhaler
• Dyspepsi grenade
• Dyspepsi-Cola d-rations
• Dyspepsi-Cola knapsack
• Dyspepsi-Cola-issue canteen
• EMD holo-record
• Earring of Fire
• Ecto-Cooler
• Ed the Undying exhibit crate
• Egnaro berry
• Eight Days a Week Pill Keeper
• El Vibrato Megadrone
• El Vibrato power sphere
• El Vibrato punchcard (104 holes)
• El Vibrato trapezoid
• Eldritch Intellect: Journey into a Mind of Horror
• Eldritch snap
• Electric Punch
• Elf Army machine parts
• Elf Farm Raffle ticket
• Elf Guard Field Manual: Culinary Arts
• Elf Guard Field Manual: Culinary Arts (used)
• Elf Guard Field Manual: Extortion
• Elf Guard Field Manual: Extortion (used)
• Elf Guard Field Manual: Wilderness Sleeping
• Elf Guard Field Manual: Wilderness Sleeping (used)
• Elf Guard MPC
• Elf Guard SCUBA tank
• Elf Guard broom
• Elf Guard clipboard
• Elf Guard commandeering gloves
• Elf Guard eyedrops
• Elf Guard fuel tank
• Elf Guard hangover cure
• Elf Guard honor present
• Elf Guard hotpants
• Elf Guard insignia (general)
• Elf Guard insignia (private)
• Elf Guard mouthknife
• Elf Guard officer's sidearm
• Elf Guard patrol cap
• Elf Guard payroll bag
• Elf Guard red and white beret
• Elf Guard safety bear
• Elf Guard squirtgun
• Elf Guard strategic map
• Elf Guard temporary (permanent) tattoo
• Elf Guard tinsel grenade
• Elf Guard war standard
• Elizabeth's Dollie
• Elmley shades
• Elron's Explosive Etude
• Elvish sunglasses
• Elvish underarmor
• Emblem of Ak'gyxoth
• En Una Fila Tequila
• Enchanted Plunger
• Engorged Sausages and You
• Essence of Annoyance
• Essence of Bear
• Everfull Dart Holster
• Extrovermectin™
• Eye Agate
• Eye and a Twist
• FDKOL commendation
• FDKOL tattoo
• Fabiotion
• Familiar-Gro™ Terrarium
• FantasyRealm Mage's Hat
• FantasyRealm Rogue's Mask
• FantasyRealm Warrior's Helm
• FantasyRealm guest pass
• FantasyRealm key
• FantasyRealm mead
• FantasyRealm membership packet
• FantasyRealm tattoo kit
• FantasyRealm turkey leg
• Faux
• Feliz Navidad
• Ferita Del Petto Zinfandel
• Ferrigno's Elixir of Power
• Feynman gate
• Field Guide to Skeletal Anatomy
• Field Guide to Skeletal Anatomy (shredded)
• Finnish Fish
• First Post shirt - Cir Senam
• First Post shirt package
• Flag by the Foot™
• Flan
• Flan in the Moon
• Flash Liquidizer Ultra Dousing Accessory
• Fleshazole™
• Flivver
• Fly-By-Knight Heraldry form
• Flying Caipiranha
• Folder Holder
• Fourth of May Cosplay Saber
• Fourth of May Cosplay Saber kit
• Frank Gorshin trophy
• Freddy Kruegerand
• French slippers
• French-Transylvanian Dictionary
• Frost™ brand sword
• Frosty's arm
• Frosty's carrot
• Frosty's frosty mug
• Frosty's iceball
• Frosty's nailbat
• Frosty's old silk hat
• Frosty's snowball sack
• Frown Exerciser
• Fudgie Roll
• FunFunds™
• Fuzzy Slippers of Hatred
• GOTO
• Gabarbar
• Game Grid valued membership card
• GameInformPowerDailyPro subscription card
• Garland of Greatness
• Gathered Meat-Clip
• Gauntlets of the Blood Moon
• Gazelleton
• Gene Tonic: Beast
• Gene Tonic: Demon
• Gene Tonic: Dude
• Gene Tonic: Elf
• Gene Tonic: Goblin
• Gene Tonic: Hippy
• Gene Tonic: Insect
• Gene Tonic: Orc
• Gene Tonic: Plant
• Gene Tonic: Slime
• Gene Tonic: Undead
• General Assembly Module
• Gets-You-Drunk
• Ghiaccio Colada
• Ghosprey
• Giant black monolith
• Gin Mint
• Ginsu™
• Girdle of Hatred
• Glamare
• Globmule
• Glum berry
• Gnollish sangria
• Gnomish sagngria
• Gnomish toolbox
• God Lobster Egg
• Goggles of Loathing
• Golden HP-35 Calculator
• Golden Kokomo Resort Chip
• Golden Light
• Golden Mr. Accessory
• Golden Mr. Eh?
• Good 'n' Quiet
• Good 'n' Slimy
• Goodfella contract
• Gordon Beer's Beer Garden Catalog
• Gorillape
• Granny Hackleton's Gatling gun
• Granny Tood's Thanksgarden Catalog
• Great Ball of Frozen Fire
• Great S-Cape
• Great Wolf's beastly trousers
• Great Wolf's headband
• Great Wolf's left paw
• Great Wolf's lice
• Great Wolf's right paw
• Great Wolf's rocket launcher
• Greatest American Pants
• Greaves of the Murk Lord
• Green Clover of Justice
• Gregarious Gregorian Smock
• Grey Guanon
• Grimacite Bock
• Grimacite gaiters
• Grimacite galoshes
• Grimacite garter
• Grimacite gasmask
• Grimacite gat
• Grimacite gauntlets
• Grimacite girdle
• Grimacite glaive
• Grimacite go-go boots
• Grimacite goggles
• Grimacite gorget
• Grimacite gown
• Grimacite greaves
• Grimacite guayabera
• Grumpy Bumpkin's Pumpkin Seed Catalog
• Gummi-DNA
• Gummi-Memory
• Gummy Brains
• Guzzlr application
• Guzzlr cocktail set
• Guzzlr hat
• Guzzlr pants
• Guzzlr shoes
• Guzzlr souvenir stein
• Guzzlr tablet
• Guzzlr tattoo kit
• Guzzlrbuck
• Gygaxian Libram
• HOA citation pad
• HOA regulation book
• HOA zombie eyes
• HP-35 Calculator
• Handsome Devil
• Hanukkimbo dreidl
• Happy Birthday, Claude! cake
• Hat O' Nine Tails
• Haunted Sorority House staff guide
• Hawking's Elixir of Brilliance
• Haymaker
• Heimz Fortified Kidney Beans
• Hell and How I Bent It
• Helps-You-Sleep
• Helvella Haemophilia mushroom
• Herring Daiquiri
• Hide-rox™ cookie
• Himalayan Hidalgo sauce
• History's Most Offensive Jokes, Vol. IX
• Hodgman's almanac
• Hodgman's bow tie
• Hodgman's cane
• Hodgman's disgusting technicolor overcoat
• Hodgman's garbage sticker
• Hodgman's harmonica
• Hodgman's imaginary hamster
• Hodgman's journal #1: The Lean Times
• Hodgman's journal #2: Entrepreneurythmics
• Hodgman's journal #3: Pumping Tin
• Hodgman's journal #4: View From The Big Top
• Hodgman's lobsterskin pants
• Hodgman's lucky sock
• Hodgman's metal detector
• Hodgman's porkpie hat
• Hodgman's varcolac paw
• Hodgman's whackin' stick
• Holiday Hal's Happy-Time Fun Book!
• Homebodyl™
• Horsery contract
• Hot Socks
• How to Avoid Scams
• How to Hold a Grudge
• How to Tolerate Jerks
• Huggler Radio
• Humanitini
• Humpty Dumplings
• Hunger™ Sauce
• Ice-Cold Aluminum Necklace
• Ice-Cold Beer Ring
• Ice-Cold Beerring
• Iceberglar scarf
• Idol of Ak'gyxoth
• Inigo's Incantation of Inspiration
• Inndya trading card
• Instant Karma
• Interview With You (a Vampire)
• Ish Kabibble
• Island Drinkin', a Tiki Mixology Odyssey
• Island Hurricane
• Island Landslide
• Island Thunderstorm
• Item #13
• Iunion Crown
• Jackass Plumber home game
• Jamaican coffee
• Jamocha berry
• January's Garbage Tote
• January's Garbage Tote (unopened)
• Jarlsberg's earring
• Jarlsberg's pan
• Jarlsberg's pan (Cosmic portal mode)
• Jarlsberg's vegetable soup
• Jawmaster 2000™
• Jeans of Loathing
• Jekyllin hide belt
• Jeppson's Malort
• Jick's autograph
• Jick-o-User
• Jodhpurs of Violence
• Juju Mojo Mask
• June cleaver
• Junior Adventurer's kit
• Junior Adventurer's merit badge
• Junior LAAAAME merit badge
• Junk-Bond
• Jurassic Parka
• Kashmir sweater
• Keese berry
• Kelflar vest
• Kentucky-fried meat crossbow
• Kentucky-fried meat staff
• Kentucky-fried meat sword
• Kevlar balloon
• Kiss the Knob apron
• Kissin' Cousins
• Kitty the Zmobie Basher trading card
• Knob Göblin lòve potion
• Knob Goblin Uberpants
• Knob Goblin eyedrops
• Knob Goblin nasal spray
• Knob Goblin pet-buffing spray
• Knob Goblin steroids
• Knob Goblin stink bomb
• KoL Con 12-gauge
• KoL Con 13 snowglobe
• KoL Con 3-D Glasses
• KoL Con 8-Bit power bracelet
• KoL Con Cinco Piñata Bat
• KoL Con IV Pole
• KoL Con Six Pack
• KoL Con X Bingo Card
• KoL Con X Treasure Map
• KoLHS Pep Squad Box
• Kokomo Resort Pass
• Krakrox's Loincloth
• Kramco Industries packing carton
• Kramco Sausage-o-Matic™
• Krampus Horn
• Kremlin's Greatest Briefcase
• Kudzu salad
• LARP carp
• LED candle
• LI-11 Motor Pool voucher
• LOV Echinacea Bouquet
• LOV Elephant
• LOV Elixir #9
• LOV Emotionizer
• LT&T tattoo kit
• LT&T telegraph office deed
• LWA ring
• Lapis Lazuli
• Lars the Cyberian
• Lava Miner's Daughter
• LavaCo™ Lamp housing
• Law of Averages
• Lazenby's Life Lesson
• Lazybones™ recliner
• Lead Zeta of Chastity
• Leapin' Trousers
• Left-Hand Man action figure
• Lemonade-235
• Lens of Hatred
• Lens of Violence
• Lepardner
• Let Me Be!
• Letter from Carrie Bradshaw
• Li'l Businessman Kit
• Libram of BRICKOs
• Libram of Candy Heart Summoning
• Libram of Divine Favors
• Libram of Love Songs
• Libram of Pulled Taffy
• Libram of Resolutions
• License To Kill
• License to Chill
• Lil' Doctor™ bag
• Lil' Snowball Factory
• Little Crimson Book
• Little Geneticist DNA-Splicing Lab
• Living to Drink, Drinking to Live
• Loathing Idol Microphone
• Loathing Idol Microphone (25% charged)
• Loathing Idol Microphone (50% charged)
• Loathing Idol Microphone (75% charged)
• Loathing Legion abacus
• Loathing Legion can opener
• Loathing Legion chainsaw
• Loathing Legion corkscrew
• Loathing Legion defibrillator
• Loathing Legion double prism
• Loathing Legion electric knife
• Loathing Legion flamethrower
• Loathing Legion hammer
• Loathing Legion helicopter
• Loathing Legion jackhammer
• Loathing Legion kitchen sink
• Loathing Legion knife
• Loathing Legion many-purpose hook
• Loathing Legion moondial
• Loathing Legion necktie
• Loathing Legion pizza stone
• Loathing Legion rollerblades
• Loathing Legion tape measure
• Loathing Legion tattoo needle
• Loathing Legion universal screwdriver
• Lobster qua Grill
• Lolsipop
• Lord Flameface's cloak
• Lord Soggyraven's Slippers
• Louder Than Bomb
• Lucky Lindy
• Lucky Strikes holo-record
• Lump-Stacking for Beginners
• LyleCo Contractor's Manual
• LyleCo premium magnifying glass
• LyleCo premium monocle
• LyleCo premium pickaxe
• LyleCo premium rope
• MAHI fez
• MSG
• Mace of the Tortoise
• Mafia bow tie
• Mafia stogie
• Mafia violin case
• MagiMechTech NanoMechaMech
• Maiali Sifilitici Pinot Noir
• Make-Your-Own-Vampire-Fangs kit
• Mallomarbles
• Mansquito Serum
• Manual of Lock Picking
• Manual of Numberology
• Manual of Secret Door Detection
• Manual of Transcendent Olfaction
• Map to Kokomo
• March hat
• Mark of the Bugbear
• Mark of the Ghost
• Mark of the Skeleton
• Mark of the Vampire
• Mark of the Werewolf
• Mark of the Zombie
• Marltini
• Martialest Arts trophy
• Marvelous Unitard
• Massive Manual of Marauder Mockery
• Master Thief's utility belt
• Maxing, Relaxing
• MayDay™ contract
• Mayam Calendar
• Mayam spinach
• Mayflower bouquet
• Mayodiol
• Mayoflex
• Mayonex
• Mayor Ghost's cloak
• Mayor Ghost's gavel
• Mayor Ghost's khakis
• Mayor Ghost's sash
• Mayor Ghost's scissors
• Mayor Ghost's toupee
• Mayostat
• Mayozapine
• McPhee's Grimoire of Hilarious Object Summoning
• Meat Butler
• Meat detector
• Meat maid body
• Meatcleaver
• Mechamelion
• Medallion of the Ventrilo Prince
• Medicinal Herb's medicinal herbs
• Memories of Beanslinging
• Memories of Cow Punching
• Memories of Snake Oiling
• Memory Disk, Alpha
• Mer-kin cheatsheet
• Mer-kin cookiestove
• Mer-kin darkbook
• Mer-kin dodgeball
• Mer-kin dragbelt
• Mer-kin dragnet
• Mer-kin eyedrops
• Mer-kin eyeglasses
• Mer-kin facecowl
• Mer-kin finpaddle
• Mer-kin fitbrine
• Mer-kin gladiator mask
• Mer-kin gladiator tailpiece
• Mer-kin gutgirdle
• Mer-kin hallpass
• Mer-kin headguard
• Mer-kin healscroll
• Mer-kin killscroll
• Mer-kin knucklebone
• Mer-kin lunchbox
• Mer-kin paste
• Mer-kin prayerbeads
• Mer-kin rocksalt
• Mer-kin rollpin
• Mer-kin saltmint
• Mer-kin saltsquid
• Mer-kin scholar mask
• Mer-kin scholar tailpiece
• Mer-kin stopwatch
• Mer-kin switchblade
• Mer-kin thighguard
• Mer-kin waistrope
• Mer-kin wordquiz
• Mer-kin worktea
• Merc Core Field Manual: Intimidation Techniques
• Merc Core Field Manual: Sanity Maintenance
• Merc Core challenge coin
• Merc Core deployment orders
• Mesmereyes™ contact lenses
• Meteoid ice beam
• Meteorite-Ade
• Mick's IcyVapoHotness Rub
• Middle of the Road™ brand whiskey
• Milk Studs
• Mini-Crimbot crate
• Miniborg Destroy-O-Bot
• Miniborg beeper
• Miniborg hiveminder
• Miniborg laser
• Miniborg stomper
• Miniborg strangler
• Mint Salton Pepper's Peppermint Seed Catalog
• Mint Yulep
• Mint-in-box Moonthril Cuirass
• Mint-in-box Moonthril Greaves
• Mint-in-box Moonthril Longbow
• Miss Graves' vermouth
• Mjolnir Jr.
• Mmm-brr! brand mouthwash
• Mob Penguin cellular phone
• Mob Penguin protection contract
• Monster Manuel
• Moon Pie
• Moonthril Schnapps
• Moping Artistic Goth Kid
• Morbidda trading card
• More Humanitini than Humanitini
• Morphan
• Mountain Stream Code Black Alert
• Mountain Stream gastrique
• Mr. Accessaturday
• Mr. Accessory
• Mr. Accessory Jr.
• Mr. Balloon
• Mr. Big's Wallet
• Mr. Burnsger
• Mr. Cheeng's spectacles
• Mr. Container
• Mr. Eh?
• Mr. Exploiter
• Mr. Screege's spectacles
• Mr. Shirt
• Mrs. Rush
• Ms. Accessory
• Mt. McLargeHuge oyster
• Mt. Noob Pale Ale
• Mu
• Mudflap-Girl Earring
• Mudflap-Girl Necklace
• Mudflap-Girl Ring
• Murgatroyd diode
• Mustardigrade
• My First Art of War
• My First Paycheck envelope
• My Life of Crime, a Memoir
• My Own Pen Pal kit
• Mylar balloon
• Mysterious Black Box
• Mysterious Blue Box
• Mysterious Green Box
• Mysterious Red Box
• Mysterious Stranger
• N. O. Beer
• ND
• Nadsat berry
• Napalm In The Morning™ candle
• Nayztameetjoo trading card
• Necbro wafers
• Necrotelicomnicon
• Never Don't Stop Not Striving
• Neverending Party favor
• Neverending Party guest pass
• Neverending Party invitation envelope
• New Age healing crystal
• New Age hurting crystal
• New Cloaca-Cola
• New-You Club Membership Form
• Newark
• Newbiesport™ backpack
• Newman's Own Trousers
• Nightmare Fuel
• Nightstalker perfume
• No Hats as Art
• Nog-on-the-Cob
• Non-Euclidean Finance
• Nose Ring of Putrescence
• Novelty Belt Buckle of Violence
• Now You're Cooking With Grease
• Now and Earlier
• Nursine
• O
• Official Council Aide Pin
• Official Seal of Dreadsylvania
• Okee-Dokee soda
• Ol' Scratch's ash can
• Ol' Scratch's infernal pitchfork
• Ol' Scratch's manacles
• Ol' Scratch's ol' britches
• Ol' Scratch's salad fork
• Ol' Scratch's stove door
• Ol' Scratch's stovepipe hat
• Olympic-sized Clan crate
• Omphalotus Omphaloskepsis mushroom
• Oopsie IPA
• Operation Patriot Shield
• Oppossum
• Orange Star of Sacrifice
• Order of the Green Thumb Order Form
• Order of the Silver Wossname
• Oreille Divisée brandy
• Oscus's dumpster waders
• Oscus's flypaper pants
• Oscus's garbage can lid
• Oscus's neverending soda
• Oscus's pelt
• Osk'r Chow
• Othello's dagger
• Otorian Battle Scar
• Our Daily Candles™ order form
• PARTY HARD T-shirt
• PB&BP
• PB&J with the crusts cut off
• Pack of Alice's Army Foil Cards
• Pack of Every Card
• Pain Dip
• Panda outfit
• Pantaloons of Hatred
• Pantsgiving
• Para-Pop
• Party Planning on a Budget
• Party Tattoo™ gift certificate
• Party-in-a-Can™
• Pasta Spoon of Peril
• Pastaco shell
• Peaclock
• Peek-a-Boo!
• Pendant of Fire
• Pendant of Gargalesis
• Pener's drumstick
• Peppermint Pip Packet
• Periodical Paintbrush
• Pete & Jackie's Dragon Tooth Emporium Catalog
• Pete's rich ricotta
• Pete's wiley whey bar
• Petite Paintbrush
• Phil Collins
• Phlegethon
• Phonus Balonus
• Pigsticker of Violence
• Pillowbug
• Pimpsqueak
• Pink Heart of Spirit
• PirateRealm guest pass
• PirateRealm membership packet
• PirateRealm party hat
• Pizza of Legend
• Platinum HP-35 Calculator
• Platinum Yendorian Express Card
• PlexiPips
• Pneumo bar
• Pocket Guide to Mild Evil
• Pocket Guide to Mild Evil (used)
• Pocket Meteor Guide
• Pocket Meteor Guide (well-thumbed)
• Pocket Professor memory chip
• Pocket Square of Loathing
• Poison Oak trading card
• Poké-Gro fertilizer
• Pokéfam Guide to Capturing All of Them
• Pokëmann band-aid
• Polka Pop
• Pop Art: a Guide
• Potion of Heroism
• Power-Guy 2000 holo-record
• Powerful Glove
• Prelude of Precision
• Pretty Predator Clawicure Kit
• Princess Rutabaga trading card
• Private Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Jacket
• Professor of Spelunkology
• Protects-Your-Junk
• Psycho From The Heat
• Puffstone cigar
• Punching Potion
• Purple Beast energy drink
• Purple Horseshoe of Honor
• Putrid Pendant
• Quartet of Flare Masters Jacket
• Queue Du Coq cocktailcrafting kit
• Quiets-Your-Steps
• Rümpelstiltz
• R'lyeh
• ROM of Optimality
• Racisto Ruidoso
• Rad-B-Gone (1 lb.)
• Rad-Pro (1 oz.)
• Radio Free Baseball Cap
• Radio Free Foil
• Radio Free Jersey
• Radio Free Pants
• Radio KoL Antenna Ball
• Radio KoL Bottle Opener
• Radio KoL Coffee Mug
• Radio KoL Flashlight
• Radio KoL Keychain
• Radio KoL Maracas
• Radio KoL Patch
• Raggedy Hippy doll
• Rainbow Jello Mould
• Rainbow's Gravity
• Ralph IX cognac
• Rattlin' Chains
• Really Expensive Jewelry and You
• Recipe of Before Yore: Boris's beer
• Recipe of Before Yore: Boris's bread
• Recipe of Before Yore: Calzone of Legend
• Recipe of Before Yore: Deep Dish of Legend
• Recipe of Before Yore: Jarlsberg's vegetable soup
• Recipe of Before Yore: Pete's rich ricotta
• Recipe of Before Yore: Pete's wily whey bar
• Recipe of Before Yore: Pizza of Legend
• Recipe of Before Yore: St. Pete's sneaky smoothie
• Recipe of Before Yore: baked veggie ricotta
• Recipe of Before Yore: honey bun of Boris
• Recipe of Before Yore: plain calzone
• Recipe of Before Yore: ratatouille de Jarlsberg
• Recipe of Before Yore: roasted vegetable focaccia
• Recipe of Before Yore: roasted vegetable of J.
• Red Balloon of Valor
• Red Fox glove
• Red Roger tattoo kit
• Red Roger's red left foot
• Red Roger's red left hand
• Red Roger's red right foot
• Red Roger's red right hand
• Red Roger's reliquary
• Red Roger's skull
• Red Russian
• Red X Shield
• Regular Cloaca Cola
• Retenez L'Herbe Paté
• Rethinking Candy
• Retrospecs
• Retrospecs try-at-home kit
• Riker's Search History
• Ring of Fire
• Ring of the Sewer Snake
• Rock Garden Guide
• Roman Candelabra
• Roo trading card
• Royal scepter
• Rubee™
• Ruffalo
• S.I.T. Course Completion Certificate
• S.I.T. Course Voucher
• S.L.E.I.G.H.B.E.L.L.S.
• S.S. Ticket
• SMOOCH bottlecap
• SMOOCH bracers
• SMOOCH breastplate
• SMOOCH codpiece
• SMOOCH coffee cup
• SMOOCH kneepads
• SMOOCH spaulders
• STYX deodorant body spray
• Saison du Lune
• SalesCo sample kit
• Salsa Caliente™ candle
• Salsa de las Epocas
• Sangria de Menthe
• Sasq™ watch
• Satan hat
• Sazuruk-hai
• Scalp of Gorgolok
• Scandalously Skimpy Bikini
• Scent of a Human™ candle
• Scepter of Loathing
• Sceptre of the Torremolinos Prince
• Schmalz's First Prize Beer
• School of Hard Knocks Diploma
• Scorpion Bowl
• Scratch 'n' Sniff Sticker Tome
• Scratch-and-Sniff Guide to Dinseylandfill
• Scuba Snack
• Scurvy and Sobriety Prevention
• Seasonal Beret
• Senior LAAAAME merit badge
• Sensual Massage for Creeps
• Sept-Ember Censer
• Septapus summoning charm
• Sequestrian
• Serenity trading card
• Seven Loco
• Sexy Cosmo
• Shantix™
• Shielding Potion
• Shore Inc. Ship Trip Scrip
• Shrieking Weasel holo-record
• Shrub's Premium Baked Beans
• Shudder
• Siberian sunrise
• Silver Bullet beer
• Simepore slime
• Sinful Desires
• Single Alice's Army Foil
• Sister Accessory
• Site Alpha ID badge
• Sitrep berry
• Size XI Wizard's Robe
• Sizzling Sinner
• Sketcherz™
• Skipper's accordion
• Skull Punch
• Skullhead's Screw
• Sledgehamster
• Sloppy Jalopy
• Sloppy Seconds Diner Employee Handbook
• Slotter
• Small Medium
• Smashmoth
• Smoldering Clover™ candle
• Smuggler's Punch
• Snarf berry
• Sneaky Pete's breath spray
• Sneaky Pete's leather jacket
• Sneaky Pete's leather jacket (collar popped)
• Snoutlet
• Snow Suit
• Sockdollager
• Solstice Shield
• Sombrero De Vida
• SongBoom™ BoomBox
• SongBoom™ BoomBox Box
• Sorcerers of the Shore Grimoire
• Source essence
• Source shades
• Source terminal
• Source terminal CRAM chip
• Source terminal DRAM chip
• Source terminal GRAM chip
• Source terminal PRAM chip
• Source terminal SPAM chip
• Source terminal TRAM chip
• Sourfinger
• Southern yam
• Souvenir Chopsticks
• Sp'n-Zor's Grimoire of "Tasteful" Gifts
• Space Baby bawbaw
• Space Baby children's book
• Space Pirate Astrogation Handbook
• Space Trip safety headphones
• Spacegate Initiative tattoo unit
• Spacegate Research
• Spacegate access badge
• Spacegate diplomat's insignia
• Spacegate emergency disintegrator
• Spacegate military insignia
• Spacegate scientist's insignia
• Spaghetti with Moonballs
• Spant eggs
• Spasmi Dolorosi Del Rene Champagne
• Special Seasoning
• Special™ Sauce
• Spellbook: Drescher's Annoying Noise
• Spellbook: Singer's Faithful Ocelot
• Spellbook: Walberg's Dim Bulb
• Spelunker of Fortune
• Spelunker's Guild prize sack
• Spelunker's fedora
• Spelunker's khakis
• Spelunker's whip
• SpinMaster™ lathe
• Spirit Precipice
• Spooky Putty ball
• Spooky Putty leotard
• Spooky Putty mitre
• Spooky Putty monster
• Spooky Putty sheet
• Spooky Putty snake
• Spooky Surprise Egg
• Spooky VHS Tape
• Spring Break Beach "swimsuit"
• Spring Break Beach tattoo coupon
• Spring Bros. ID badge
• Spring Bros. solenoid
• Squib
• St. Pete's sneaky smoothie
• St. Sneaky Pete's Day goodies basket
• St. Sneaky Pete's Whey
• Stabonic scroll
• Staff of Blood and Pudding
• Staff of Frozen Lard
• Staff of Holiday Sensations
• Staff of Kitchen Royalty
• Staff of Queso Escusado
• Staff of Simmering Hatred
• Staff of the Black Kettle
• Staff of the Cozy Fish
• Staff of the Deepest Freeze
• Staff of the Electric Range
• Staff of the Grand Flambé
• Staff of the Grease Trap
• Staff of the Greasefire
• Staff of the Headmaster's Victuals
• Staff of the Kitchen Floor
• Staff of the Midnight Snack
• Staff of the November Jack-O-Lantern
• Staff of the Peppermint Twist
• Staff of the Roaring Hearth
• Staff of the Scummy Sink
• Staff of the Short Order Cook
• Staff of the Soupbone
• Staff of the Teapot Tempest
• Staff of the Walk-In Freezer
• Staff of the Well-Tempered Cauldron
• Staff of the Woodfire
• Star Spawn
• Star of Bravery
• Steam Card: DemonStar (#1)
• Steam Card: DemonStar (#2)
• Steam Card: DemonStar (#3)
• Steam Card: Dungeon Fist (#2)
• Steam Card: Dungeon Fist (#3)
• Steam Card: Jackass Plumber (#1)
• Steam Card: Jackass Plumber (#3)
• Steam Card: Meteoid (#1)
• Steam Card: Meteoid (#2)
• Steam Card: Meteoid (#3)
• Steam Card: Space Trip (#3)
• Steamboat
• Stembridge sidearm
• Stemonitis Staticus mushroom
• Stephen's lab coat
• Stick-Knife of Loathing
• Stooper
• Straypler
• Strong, Silent Type
• Stupid University Diploma
• Summer Nights
• Super Magic Power Sword X
• Superdrifter holo-record
• Superhero Reboots
• Suppurating Sinner
• Swedish coffee
• Swedish massage fish
• Sweet Sword
• Swizzler
• Sword of Procedural Generation
• T.U.R.D.S. Key
• TRIO cup of beer
• Taco Dan's Super Taco-Riffic Taco Sauce!
• Tales of Dread
• Tales of Spelunking
• Tales of Western Braggadoccio
• Tales of a Kansas Toymaker
• Tales of a Kansas Toymaker (used)
• Talisman of Baio
• Talisman of Bakula
• Tapioc berry
• Tea, Earl Grey, Hot
• Temporal Tempera Tube
• Tequiz Navidad
• That 70s Cologne
• The Art of Slapfighting
• The Art of Slapfighting (used)
• The Author's ink
• The Autobiography Of Dynamite Superman Jones
• The Ballad of Richie Thingfinder
• The Beast Within™ candle
• The Big Book of Communism
• The Big Book of Communism (used)
• The Big Book of Every Skill
• The Chill of the Wild
• The Cocktail Shaker
• The Confiscator's Grimoire
• The Crown of Ed the Undying
• The Emperor's new cookie
• The Encyclopedia of Fruit
• The Encyclopedia of Fruit (used)
• The Eye of the Thing in the Basement
• The Fingernail of the Thing in the Basement
• The Firegate Tapes
• The Fun-Guy Cold Weather Bartender's Guide
• The Ghoul King's ghoulottes
• The Gingerbread Vigilante's Handbook
• The Grand Poo-Bah trading card
• The Groose in the Hoose
• The Imploded World
• The Inquisitor's unidentifiable object
• The Jokester's gun
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 1
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 1 (used)
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 2
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 2 (used)
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 3
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 3 (used)
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 4
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 4 (used)
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 5
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 5 (used)
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 6
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 6 (used)
• The Joy of Wassailing
• The Joy of Wassailing (used)
• The Kloop in the Coop
• The Legendary Beat
• The Lost Pill Bottle
• The Lot's engagement ring
• The Mad Liquor
• The Necbromancer's Hat
• The Necbromancer's Shorts
• The Necbromancer's Stein
• The Necbromancer's Wizard Staff
• The Necbronomicon (used)
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 1
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 1 (used)
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 2
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 2 (used)
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 3
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 3 (used)
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 4
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 4 (used)
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 5
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 5 (used)
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 6
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 6 (used)
• The Nose Knows, A Guide to Smells
• The Nose Knows, A Guide to Smells (read)
• The Nuge's favorite crossbow
• The One Mood Ring
• The Pigs holo-record
• The Plumber's mushroom stew
• The Ring
• The Sagittarian's leisure pants
• The Six-Pack of Pain
• The Smith's Tome
• The Snake trading card
• The Spirit of Crimbo
• The Spirit of Giving
• The Spirit of Giving (used)
• The Superconductor's CPU
• The Sword in the Steak
• The Thorax's Codex of Tormenting Plants
• The Western Look
• They liver
• They liver popsicle
• Thinknerd T-Shirt
• Thinknerd's Grimoire of Geeky Gifts
• Third Base
• Third Eye
• Thor's Pliers
• Thorny Toad trading card
• Thriller Ice
• Thunkula's drinking cap
• Thwaitgold Goliath beetle statuette
• Thwaitgold Illinigina illinoiensis model
• Thwaitgold anti-moth statuette
• Thwaitgold bee statuette
• Thwaitgold bombardier beetle statuette
• Thwaitgold bookworm statuette
• Thwaitgold bug statuette
• Thwaitgold butterfly statuette
• Thwaitgold buzzy beetle statuette
• Thwaitgold caterpillar statuette
• Thwaitgold chigger statuette
• Thwaitgold cockroach statuette
• Thwaitgold fairyfly statue
• Thwaitgold fire beetle statuette
• Thwaitgold firefly statuette
• Thwaitgold grasshopper statuette
• Thwaitgold harvestman statuette
• Thwaitgold keyhole spider statuette
• Thwaitgold listening bug statuette
• Thwaitgold maggot statuette
• Thwaitgold masked hunter statuette
• Thwaitgold metabug statuette
• Thwaitgold mosquito statuette
• Thwaitgold mosquito-in-amber statuette
• Thwaitgold moth statuette
• Thwaitgold nit statuette
• Thwaitgold nymph statuette
• Thwaitgold protozoa statuette
• Thwaitgold quantum bug statuette
• Thwaitgold scarab beetle statuette
• Thwaitgold scorpion statuette
• Thwaitgold shield bug statuette
• Thwaitgold slug statuette
• Thwaitgold spider statuette
• Thwaitgold splendor beetle statuette
• Thwaitgold stag beetle statuette
• Thwaitgold time fly statuette
• Thwaitgold wolf spider statuette
• Thwaitgold woollybear statuette
• Tickle-Me Emilio
• Tiki lighter
• Time Bandit Badge of Courage
• Time Bandit Time Towel
• Time Cape
• Time Cloak
• Time Juice
• Time Lord Badge of Honor
• Time Lord Participation Mug
• Time-Spinner
• To Build an Igloo
• Toddler-sized Dragon Costume
• Tome of Clip Art
• Tome of Rad Libs
• Tome of Snowcone Summoning
• Tome of Sugar Shummoning
• Too Cold to Hold: How to Be Cool - A Memoir
• Too Cold to Hold: How to Be Cool - A Memoir (read)
• Totally Gay Claymore
• Trafikoan
• Trainbot autoassembly module
• Trainbot circuitry
• Trainbot harness
• Trainbot linkages
• Trainbot luggage hook
• Trainbot optics
• Trainbot plating
• Trainbot radar monocle
• Trainbot servomotors
• Trainbot slag
• Trainbot tubing
• Trash, a Memoir
• Travoltan trousers
• Treads of Loathing
• Tremella Tarantella mushroom
• Trivial Avocations board game
• Tropical Crimbo Hat
• Tropical Crimbo Shorts
• Tropical Crimbo Sword
• Trout Fishing in Loathing
• Truthsayer
• Turpin
• Turtive
• Turtle Bowl
• Twelve Night Energy
• Twitching Television Tattoo
• UV monocular
• Ultra Mega Sour Ball
• Ultrasoldier Serum
• Unagnimated Gnome
• Uncle Buck
• Uncle Crimbo's Rations
• Uncle Crimbo's Sack
• Uncle Crimbo's hat
• Uncle Hobo's belt
• Uncle Hobo's epic beard
• Uncle Hobo's fingerless tinsel gloves
• Uncle Hobo's gift baggy pants
• Uncle Hobo's highest bough
• Uncle Hobo's stocking cap
• Uncle Romulus (used)
• Unconscious Collective Dream Jar
• Underworld acorn
• Underworld flail
• Underworld sapling
• Underworld truncheon
• Underworld trunk
• Ungulant
• Unionize The Elves sign
• Universal Seasoning
• Unkillable Skeleton's breastplate
• Unkillable Skeleton's restless leg
• Unkillable Skeleton's sawsword
• Unkillable Skeleton's shield
• Unkillable Skeleton's shinguards
• Unkillable Skeleton's skullcap
• Unmotivator: Crashed Meat Car
• Unmotivator: Crashed Orca
• Unmotivator: Success Warrior
• Unopened Eight Days a Week Pill Keeper
• Unspeakable Earring
• Unspeakachu
• Uovo Marcio Shiraz
• Uranium Omega of Temperance
• V for Vivala mask
• VYKEA blood rune
• VYKEA frenzy rune
• VYKEA lightning rune
• Val-U Brand Every Bean Salad
• Valentine's Day cake
• Vamprey
• Van der Graaf helmet
• Vaporpoise
• Vaso De Agua trading card
• Vegetable of Jarlsberg
• Velougats™
• Velvet Veil
• Venus flytrap
• Vial of jus de larmes
• Victor's Spoils
• Vodka Matryoshka
• Volcoino
• Voluminous Radio Hat
• Voluminous Radio Pants
• Voluminous Radio Sneakers
• Vulgure
• WA
• Waifuton
• Wal-Mart "diamond" ring
• Wal-Mart gift certificate
• Wal-Mart nametag
• Wal-Mart overalls
• Wal-Mart snowglobe
• Wal-Mart tattoo kit
• Wand of Oscus
• Warehouse 23 bling
• Warehouse 23 crate
• Warm Subject gift certificate
• Warms-Your-Tush
• Wart Dinsey: An Afterlife
• Wendtigo
• Western Slang Vol. 1: Violence
• Western Slang Vol. 2: Cooking
• Western Slang Vol. 3: Fraud
• White Dragon Fang
• Wickers bar
• Winifred's whistle
• Witchess Set
• Woldo trading card
• Wolfman Nardz
• Workytime Tea
• Wrecked Generator
• Wrotz
• Wullabye
• X
• X-32-F snowman crate
• X-37 gun
• Xi Receiver Unit
• Xiblaxian crystal
• Xiblaxian encrypted political prisoner
• Xiblaxian holo-schematic: space whiskey
• Xiblaxian holo-schematic: ultraburrito
• Xiblaxian holo-training simcode
• Xiblaxian residence-cube
• Xiblaxian stealth cowl
• Xiblaxian stealth trousers
• Xiblaxian stealth vest
• Xiblaxian xeno-detection goggles
• Xlyinia's notebook
• Ye Olde Navy Fleece
• Yeast of Boris
• Yeg's Motel alarm clock
• Yeg's Motel ashtray
• Yeg's Motel disposable razor
• Yeg's Motel hand soap
• Yeg's Motel minibar key
• Yeg's Motel mouthwash
• Yeg's Motel pillow mint
• Yeg's Motel sewing kit
• Yeg's Motel stationery
• Yeg's Motel toothbrush
• Yellow Moon of Compassion
• Yeti Protest Sign
• Yolo™ chocolates
• Yorick
• Young Man's Cargo Load
• Young Man's Crew Sequester
• Yuleviathan necklace
• Zombo's empty eye
• Zombo's grievous greaves
• Zombo's shield
• Zombo's shoulder blade
• Zombo's skull ring
• Zombo's skullcap
• Zu Mannkäse Dienen (used)
• [glitch season reward name]
• [reuse me]
• a bug's lymph
• a cute angel
• a suspicious address
• abandoned candy
• absentee voter ballot
• abstraction: comprehension
• abyssal battle plans
• accidental mutton
• accordion file
• actual blood sausage
• adhesive tape dolly
• adobe abacus
• adobe abaya
• adobe adze
• adobe arsecover
• adobe ascot
• adobe assortment
• adobe ayam
• adobe brittle
• adorable seal larva
• adventurer clone egg
• aerogel accordion
• aerogel akubra
• aerogel anvil
• aerogel apron
• aerogel ascot
• aerogel attache case
• aerosolized aerogel
• affordable teak perch
• agnolotti arboli
• agua de vida
• airborne mutagen
• airplane charter: Conspiracy Island
• airplane charter: Dinseylandfill
• airplane charter: Spring Break Beach
• airplane charter: That 70s Volcano
• airplane charter: The Glaciest
• airplane tattoo
• alabaster bishop
• alabaster king
• alabaster knight
• alabaster pawn
• alabaster queen
• alabaster rook
• albatross necklace
• alien animal goo
• alien animal milk
• alien force field disruptor bean
• alien gemstone
• alien meat
• alien plant fibers
• alien plant goo
• alien plant pod
• alien plant sample
• alien protein powder
• alien rock sample
• alien sandwich
• alien source code printout
• alien toenails
• alien zoological sample
• all-purpose flower
• all-year sucker
• alpha-mail pants
• alpine watercolor set
• ammonite candy mold
• ammonite fossil
• amphibious tophat
• ancient Elf dessert spoon
• ancient cursed foot locker
• ancient hot dog wrapper
• ancient meat
• ancient oil painting of yourself
• ancient pills
• ancient redwood
• ancient turtle shell helmet
• ancient turtle shell powder
• ancient vinyl coin purse
• anemoney clip
• angel-food cake
• anger blaster
• angry agate
• angry inch
• angst burger
• annealed drippy orb
• anniversary balloon
• anniversary balsa wood socks
• anniversary burlap belt
• anniversary chutney sculpture
• anniversary concrete fedora
• anniversary pewter cape
• anniversary safety glass vest
• anniversary tiny latex mask
• ant antidepressant
• anti-anti-antidote
• anti-burn cream
• anti-creep cream
• anti-freeze cream
• anti-goosebump cream
• anti-odor cream
• anti-pain cream
• antimatter wad
• antique 8-Bit Power magazine
• antique Canadian lantern
• antique beer
• antique bottle of cough syrup
• antique bottle opener
• antique nutcracker beard
• antique nutcracker boots
• antique nutcracker cape
• antique nutcracker drumstick
• antique nutcracker epaulets
• antique nutcracker figurine
• antique nutcracker hat
• antique nutcracker pants
• antique nutcracker sword
• antique nutcracker waistcoat
• antique painting of a landscape
• antique pair of blue jeans
• antique record album
• antique souvenir drawing
• antique spyglass
• antique tacklebox
• apathetic lizardman doll
• aquamariner's ring
• aquaviolet jub-jub bird
• arcanoferric housing
• archaeologing shovel
• arm buzzer
• around the world
• arrow'd heart balloon
• arse-a'fire elixir
• arse-shooting crossbow
• artisanal homebrew gift package
• asbestos crossbow string
• asbestos helmet turtle
• asbestos meat stack
• asbestos ore
• asbestos staff
• asbestos stick
• asbestos sword
• asbestos sword hilt
• ash soda
• aspirin
• asteroid belt
• astral badger
• astronaut ice-cream
• astronaut pants
• atomic vector plotter
• attention spanner
• augmented El Vibrato drone
• augmented-reality shades
• august scepter
• automa-bot parts
• automatic catapult
• automatic wine thief
• autumn breeze
• autumn dollar
• autumn leaf
• autumn years wisdom
• autumn-spice donut
• autumnal aegis
• autumnic balm
• autumnic bomb
• auxiliary backbone
• avatar of the Unconscious Collective
• aviator goggles
• bätzle
• baby camelCalf
• baby chest mimic
• baby cuddlefish
• baby oil shooter
• baby rigging snake
• babycakes
• backup camera
• backwoods banjo
• bacon bath ball
• baconstone bracelet
• baconstone pendant
• baconstone ring
• baconstone-handled sixgun
• bacteria bisque
• bad penguin egg
• bad rum and good cola
• bad-ass club
• badger badge
• bag of Iunion stones
• bag of airline peanuts
• bag of bones
• bag of grain
• bag of lard
• bag of sausage links
• bag of unfinished business
• bagged Cargo Cultist Shorts
• bagged stuffed "L"
• baggie of regular-sized tardigrades
• baked veggie ricotta casserole
• bakelite backpack
• bakelite badge
• bakelite belt
• bakelite bits
• bakelite bowl
• bakelite breeches
• bakelite brooch
• bakelite-covered bacon
• ball
• ball-in-a-cup
• ballpark hot daub
• balsa plank
• balsam barrel
• banana candle
• banana daiquiri
• banana milkshake
• banana smoothie
• banana split
• banana supersucker
• banana-frosted king cake
• bananagate
• bananarama bangle
• baneful bandolier
• banjo strings
• bar of freeze-dried water
• bar skin
• bar whip
• bark beret
• bark boxers
• bark bracelet
• barnacle-encrusted sweater
• barrel beryl
• barrel beryl choker
• barrel beryl nose ring
• barrel beryl ring
• barrel-aged eggnog
• barrelhead
• bartender skull
• bartender-in-the-box
• bartender-skull-in-the-box
• basaltamander buckler
• basic martini
• basic meat helmet
• basic meat kilt
• basic meat pants
• basic meat skirt
• basic meat staff
• basic meat sword
• basking robin
• bastard baster
• bat hat
• bat whip
• bat wings
• bat-ass leather jacket
• bath ball gift set
• batskin belt
• battered old top-hat
• battery (9-Volt)
• battery (AA)
• battery (AAA)
• battery (D)
• battery (car)
• battery (lantern)
• battoo kit
• bauxite beret
• bauxite bow-tie
• bauxite boxers
• beach ball marble
• beautiful rainbow
• beautiful soup
• beaver punch (cherry)
• beaver punch (papaya)
• beaver punch (peach)
• beavermouth
• beefy pill
• beer cartilage
• beer goggles
• beery blood
• beet
• beetle antenna
• beggin' cologne
• beholed bedsheet
• beige clambroth marble
• belemnite candy mold
• belemnite fossil
• bell-shaped Crimbo cookie
• belt of Ogrekind
• best joke ever
• bezoar ring
• bi-lateral logic compressor
• big bad voodoo mask
• big bumboozer marble
• big bundle of chamoix
• big glob of skin
• big hot pepper
• big ol' trophy
• big red button
• big stirring stick
• bigger stick
• biker's hat
• bill bec-de-bardiche glaive-guisarme
• bindle of joy
• bindlestocking
• biomechanical crimborg helmet
• biomechanical crimborg leg armor
• birdybug antenna
• birthday candle
• birthday party jellybean cheesecake
• bishop cookie
• bite-me-red lipstick
• bitter bowtie
• bitter pill
• black Crimbo ball
• black and white cracker
• black belt
• black brandy
• black candygram
• black catseye marble
• black cherry soda
• black gallstone
• black mana
• black plastic oyster egg
• black slime glob
• black striped oyster egg
• black velvet box
• blackberry combat boots
• blackberry moccasins
• blackberry slippers
• blank fudge mold
• blank note
• blank prescription sheet
• blank white card
• blessed rustproof +2 gray dragon scale mail
• blind-packed capsule toy
• blind-packed die-cast metal toy
• blood flower
• blood kiwi
• blood roll-up
• blood sausage
• blood snowcone
• blood-drive sticker
• blood-faced volleyball
• blood-soaked sponge cake
• bloodstick
• bloody kiwitini
• bloody mary
• blown-out speaker cone
• blue LavaCo Lamp™
• blue canary nightlight
• blue class ring
• blue glowstick
• blue mana
• blue money bag
• blue paisley oyster egg
• blue plastic baby
• blue plate
• blue pumps
• blue raspberry troll doll
• blue ribbon
• blue rocket
• blue shell
• blue snowcone
• blue striped oyster egg
• blue suede shoes
• blue traffic cone
• blue tulip
• blue velvet cake
• blue-frosted astral cupcake
• blueberry muffin
• blueberry-frosted king cake
• blundarrrbus
• bobble-hip hula elf doll
• body spradium
• bodyguard badge
• bodyslam
• boilgun
• boiling broth
• boiling hot cocoa
• bolder boulder
• bomb of unknown origin
• bone and arrows
• bone aperitif
• bone broth
• bone chips
• bone collar
• bone crusher
• bone flour
• bone meal
• boneana hammock
• bonedanna
• bonerang
• boning knife
• bonsai tree
• book of facts
• book of facts (dog-eared)
• boot flask
• boot knife
• boot plant
• booze bindle
• booze drive button
• borg sock monkey
• borrowed time
• bottle of Blank-Out
• bottle of Bloodweiser
• bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon
• bottle of Cochon Noir
• bottle of Crème de Fugu
• bottle of Crimbognac
• bottle of Goldschnöckered
• bottle of Rapier Witbier
• bottle of Red-Out
• bottle of Sanguiovese
• bottle of Vangoghbitussin
• bottle of anís
• bottle of clam juice
• bottle of dark rhum
• bottle of extra-dark rhum
• bottle of gin
• bottle of limeade
• bottle of lovebug pheromones
• bottle of melodramamine
• bottle of moontan lotion
• bottle of novelty hot sauce
• bottle of peppermint schnapps
• bottle of perfume
• bottle of rum
• bottle of sea wine
• bottle of single-barrel whiskey
• bottle of super-extra-dark rhum
• bottle of tequila
• bottle of vodka
• bottle of whiskey
• bottle-rocket crossbow
• bottlecap turtle
• bottled Vampire Vintner
• bottled green pixie
• bottoms of the barrel
• bounty-hunting helmet
• bounty-hunting pants
• bounty-hunting rifle
• bouquet of circular saw blades
• bow
• bow staff
• bowl full of jelly
• bowl of marinade
• bowl of mernudo
• bowl of oriole's nest soup
• bowl of prescription candy
• bowl of topioca
• bowlegged pants
• bowler
• bowling ball
• box o' ghosts
• box of Pokëmann band-aids
• box of bear arms
• box of hickory chips
• box-in-the-box
• boxcar turtle
• boxed Apriling band helmet
• boxed Mayam Calendar
• boxed Sept-Ember Censer
• boxed august scepter
• boxed autumn-aton
• boxed bat wings
• boxed gumball machine
• boxing glove on a spring
• boxing-glove-in-a-box
• brain preservation fluid
• brainwave-controlled unicorn horn
• brainy skull
• bran muffin
• brass Dreadsylvanian flask
• brass abacus
• brass crank handle
• brass stinger
• brass turkey knuckles
• bread basket
• bread man
• bread mold
• bread pie
• breaded beer
• breadwand
• brick of sand
• briefcase full of sprinkles
• brilliant oyster egg
• brine
• briny vinegar
• brittle plastic handle
• broken El Vibrato drone
• broken beer bottle
• broken carburetor
• broken cellular phone
• broken chocolate pocketwatch
• bronze
• bronze handcuffs
• brown pirate pants
• brown pixel
• brown plastic baby
• buñuelos Jaliscos
• bubble-wrap simulator (half broken)
• bubble-wrap simulator (one broken button)
• bubble-wrap simulator (one button left)
• bubblewrap bottlecap turtleban
• bubblewrap crossbow
• bubblewrap staff
• bubblewrap sword
• bucket of ancient Vampyre blood
• bucket of anniversary lard
• buckler buckle
• buffed alien drugs
• bug juice
• bug paste
• bugbear detector
• bugbear-smiting sword
• bugged bön±Ã©t
• bulky free-range mushroom
• bullet necklace
• bumblebee marble
• bunch of bananas
• bunch of sea grapes
• bundle of firewood
• burglar/sleep mask
• burning newspaper
• burnt flower
• burnt stick
• burrowgrub hive
• burst hellseal brain
• bus pass
• cabooze
• cactus monocle
• calm attention-deficit demon
• camouflage T-shirt
• campfire baked potato
• campfire beans
• campfire coffee
• campfire hot dog
• campfire s'more
• campfire smoke
• campfire stew
• can of CRIMBCOLA
• can of Ghuol-B-Gone™
• can of Minions-Be-Gone
• can of Rain-Doh
• can of V-11
• can of cherry-flavored sterno
• can of fake snow
• can of franks 'n' beans
• can of mixed everything
• can of spinach
• can of starch
• can opener
• can-you-dig-it?
• candied almond
• candied lime
• candied yam pinky ring
• candy UFOs
• candy cane candygram
• candy cane sword cane
• candy chalk
• candy cornucopia
• candy crayons
• candy dog collar
• candy dress shoes
• candy drive button
• candy harmonica
• candy kneecapping stick
• candy knuckles
• candy skeleton
• candy stick
• candycaine powder
• cane-mail pants
• cannonbomb
• canteen of eggnog
• canteen of wine
• capacitor relay
• capped blue lava bottle
• capped green lava bottle
• capped red lava bottle
• carbon nanotube frame
• carbonite visor
• card sleeve
• cardboard box turtle
• cardboard crossbow
• cardboard staff
• carnivorous potted plant
• carob cannon
• carob chunks
• carrot cake precipice bar
• carrot juice
• carton of gaspers
• carton of snake milk
• cartoon harpoon
• cashew
• cast-iron legacy paddle
• cat o' nine teeth
• catfish whiskers
• catskin buckler
• catskin cap
• caustic slime nodule
• celestial au jus
• celestial carrot juice
• celestial olive oil
• celestial squid ink
• cement sandals
• cement shoes
• ceramic celery grater
• ceramic celsiturometer
• ceramic cenobite's robe
• ceramic centurion shield
• ceramic cerecloth belt
• ceramic cestus
• ceramic scree
• chain-mail monokini
• chainsaw chain
• chakra malt
• chakra sludge
• chakra-mental wine
• chalk chain
• chalk chalice
• chalk chapeau
• chalk chinos
• chalk chlamys
• chalk choker
• chalk chunks
• chamoisole
• chaos butterfly
• chaos popcorn
• charged magnet
• charpuce jub-jub bird
• charrrm bracelet
• cheap clip-on ninja tie
• cheap elven gloves
• cheap plastic bottle opener
• cheap plastic kazoo
• cheap toaster
• cheap wind-up clock
• cheer extractor
• cheer-o-gram
• cheerful Crimbo sweater
• cheerful antler hat
• cheerful pajama pants
• cheesy eagle sauce
• chef skull
• chef-in-the-box
• chef-skull-in-the-box
• cherry bomb
• chest barrel
• chest of "pirate gold"
• chewing gum on a string
• chiffon carbage
• chiffon chakram
• chiffon chamberpot
• chiffon chapeau
• chiffon chaps
• chiffon chemise
• chiffon chevrons
• chiffon lemon
• children of the candy corn
• chintzy accordion pin
• chintzy disco ball pendant
• chintzy noodle ring
• chisel
• chitin powder
• chitin powder paste
• chitinous pod
• chloroform rag
• chlorophyll paste
• choco-Crimbot
• chocolate "Phoenix"
• chocolate Ogre Chieftain
• chocolate Spider Queen
• chocolate bath ball
• chocolate bowtie
• chocolate box
• chocolate chip muffin
• chocolate covered ping-pong ball
• chocolate cow bone
• chocolate leash
• chocolate pocketwatch
• chocolate puppy
• chocolate rabbit's foot
• chocolate seal-clubbing club
• chocolate stolen accordion
• chocolate turtle totem
• chocolate-covered caviar
• chocolate-covered diamond-studded roses
• chocolate-covered loofah
• chocolate-frosted king cake
• chocomotive
• chrome crossbow string
• chrome helmet turtle
• chrome meat stack
• chrome ore
• chrome staff
• chrome stick
• chrome sword
• chunk of depleted Grimacite
• ciliophora chowder
• cinnamon machine oil
• cinnamon troll doll
• circle drum
• clan underground fireworks shop
• class five ecto-larva
• claw-held flag
• clear Russian
• clerical automa-core
• clockwork bartender head
• clockwork bartender-head-in-the-box
• clockwork bartender-in-the-box
• clockwork chef head
• clockwork chef-head-in-the-box
• clockwork chef-in-the-box
• clockwork claws
• clockwork clockwise dome
• clockwork counterclockwise dome
• clockwork crossbow
• clockwork detective skull
• clockwork doohickey
• clockwork endoskeleton
• clockwork handle
• clockwork maid
• clockwork maid head
• clockwork pirate skull
• clockwork rings
• clockwork rod
• clockwork shank
• clockwork sheet
• clockwork sphere
• clockwork spine
• clockwork staff
• clockwork sword
• clockwork widget
• cloning kit
• closed-circuit pay phone
• closed-circuit phone system
• clown hammer
• clown whip
• clownskin harness
• club of corruption
• club of the five seasons
• club sandwich
• cluster of hops
• coal paperweight
• coal snakeskin
• cocoa chondrule
• cocoa of youth
• coconut bikini top
• cod cape
• coffee sprite
• cold and sour sauce
• cold cluster
• cold clusterbomb
• cold jelly
• cold medicine cabinet
• cold powder
• cold wad
• collection of tiny spooky objects
• colored-light "necklace"
• colorful plastic ball
• colossal free-range mushroom
• combat lover's locket
• combat lover's locket lockbox
• comfy blanket
• comfy coffin
• comfy pillow
• complex alien plant sample
• complex alien zoological sample
• complicated device
• complicated lock impression
• compounded experience
• compressed air canister
• computronic processing unit
• concentrated cooking
• concentrated fish broth
• congratulatory cake
• conquistador's breastplate
• contract enforcement stick
• control crystal
• cookbookbat book
• cool hot cocoa
• cool iron breastplate
• cool iron greaves
• cool iron helmet
• cool iron ingot
• cool jelly donut
• cool mint precipice bar
• cooling iron breastplate
• cooling iron greaves
• cooling iron helmet
• coping juice
• copper ha'penny charrrm bracelet
• corked genie bottle
• corned beet
• corned-beef Reuben
• cornucopia
• corroded breeches
• corrosive cowl
• corrupt club of corrupt corruption
• corrupt club of corruption
• corrupted bird DNA
• corrupted data
• corrupted stardust
• cosmetic football
• cosmic bucket
• cosmic lemonade
• cosmic paste
• costume rental shop
• cotton candy bale
• cotton candy cocoon
• cotton candy cordial
• cotton candy skoshe
• cotton candy smidgen
• counterfeit city
• cozy bazooka
• cozy scarf
• cozy scimitar
• crabsicle
• cranberry margarita (brackish)
• cranberry schnapps
• crappy Mer-kin mask
• crappy Mer-kin tailpiece
• crappy camera
• crated wardrobe-o-matic
• crayon shavings
• crazy bastard sword
• cream of chloroplasts
• cream of pointy mushroom soup
• creepy voodoo doll
• creepy-ass club
• crident
• crimbo elfling
• crimsilion jub-jub bird
• croquet hedgehog
• crossbow string
• crown-shaped beanie
• crude oil congealer
• crumbling rat skull
• crumpled felt fedora
• crunchy brush
• crushed steamer trunk
• cryptic puzzle box
• crystal Crimbo goblet
• crystal Crimbo platter
• crystalline cheer
• crystalline reamer
• crystalline seal eye
• crystallized memory
• cube of ectoplasm
• cuckoo clock
• cuddly teddy bear
• cup of "tea"
• cup of lukewarm tea
• cuppa Activi tea
• cuppa Alacri tea
• cuppa Boo tea
• cuppa Chari tea
• cuppa Craft tea
• cuppa Cruel tea
• cuppa Dexteri tea
• cuppa Feroci tea
• cuppa Flamibili tea
• cuppa Flexibili tea
• cuppa Frost tea
• cuppa Gill tea
• cuppa Impregnabili tea
• cuppa Improprie tea
• cuppa Insani tea
• cuppa Loyal tea
• cuppa Mana tea
• cuppa Mediocri tea
• cuppa Monstrosi tea
• cuppa Morbidi tea
• cuppa Net tea
• cuppa Obscuri tea
• cuppa Physicali tea
• cuppa Proprie tea
• cuppa Royal tea
• cuppa Serendipi tea
• cuppa Sobrie tea
• cuppa Toast tea
• cuppa Twen tea
• cuppa Uncertain tea
• cuppa Vitali tea
• cuppa Voraci tea
• cuppa Wit tea
• cuppa Yet tea
• cursed black pearl onion
• cursed bottle of black-label rum
• cursed bottle of rum
• cursed cannonball
• cursed chocolate doubloon
• cursed dirty joke scroll
• cursed magnifying glass
• cursed microwave
• cursed monkey glove
• cursed monkey's paw
• cursed pirate cutlass
• cursed pony keg
• cursed scrunchie
• cursed sea biscuit
• cursed swash buckle
• cursed tricorn hat
• cursed voodoo skull
• cursed wishbone
• custom sixgun
• cute bow from beyond the stars
• cute meteoroid
• cyan seashell
• cyborg doll
• cyborg stompin' boot
• cymbal syrup
• d10
• d4
• d6
• d8
• daddy shortlegs leg
• daisy
• damp bar rag
• damp old wallet
• dandy lion cub
• dark baconstone ring
• dark hamethyst ring
• dark porquoise ring
• das boot
• daub-breaker
• day shortener
• deactivated MicroMechaMech
• deactivated RoboGoose
• deactivated mini-Trainbot
• deactivated nanobots
• deactivated putty buddy
• dead guy's piece of double-sided tape
• dead meat bun
• deadfall branch
• deadly lampshade
• deadly nightshade
• deanimated reanimator's coffin
• debonair deboner
• decaying wooden oar
• decaying wooden paddle
• decaying wooden pole
• deck of lewd playing cards
• deck of tropical cards
• deed to Oliver's Place
• deep six-shooter
• defective Game Grid token
• defective Golden Mr. Accessory
• defective skull
• deflated inflatable dodecapede
• delectable catalyst
• delicious comfit?
• delicious swamp muck
• deluxe Neverending Party favor
• deluxe fax machine
• demon buckler
• demon makeup kit
• demon skin
• demon whip
• demonic cow's blood
• demonic paste
• demonskin jacket
• denastified haunch
• denim axe
• denim jacket
• dense meat stack
• dense meat staff
• dense meat sword
• dental pliers
• depantsing bomb
• depleted Crimbonium football helmet
• depleted Grimacite astrolabe
• depleted Grimacite grappling hook
• depleted Grimacite gravy boat
• depleted Grimacite hammer
• depleted Grimacite kneecapping stick
• depleted Grimacite ninja mask
• depleted Grimacite shinguards
• depleted Grimacite weightlifting belt
• depleted uranium seal figurine
• designer sweatpants
• designer sweatpants (new old stock)
• detective school application
• detective tattoo
• detour shield
• devil's-food cake
• diabolic pizza cube
• diabolical crossbow
• diamond-studded fronts
• dice belt buckle
• dice ring
• dice sunglasses
• dice-print do-rag
• dice-print pajama pants
• dice-shaped backpack
• dieting pill
• digital underground potion
• dilapidated wizard hat
• dill
• dinged-up triangle
• dirt julep
• dirty martini
• disassembled clover
• disco biscuit
• disco horoscope (Cancer)
• disco horoscope (Gemini)
• disco horoscope (Leo)
• disco horoscope (Pisces)
• disco horoscope (Sagittarius)
• disco horoscope (Scorpio)
• disco horoscope (Virgo)
• disconnected intergnat
• disposable lighter
• distention pill
• distilled resin
• divine champagne popper
• divine cracker
• diving muff
• do-it-yourself laser eye surgery kit
• doll-eye amulet
• dollar sign
• dolphin whistle
• doppelshifter egg
• dorky glasses
• double barreled barrel gun
• double daisy
• double entendre
• double-ice box
• doubt cannon
• dove DNA
• drafty drawers
• dread tarragon
• dreadful box
• dreadful fedora
• dreadful glove
• dreadful roast
• dreadful sweater
• dream of a dog
• dreaming Jung man
• dregs of a Crimbo cocktail
• drink chit
• dripping meat staff
• drippy bezoar
• drippy bromide
• drippy candy bar
• drippy caviar
• drippy diadem
• drippy enzyme
• drippy flux
• drippy grub
• drippy ichor
• drippy khakis
• drippy nugget
• drippy orb
• drippy pigment
• drippy pilsner
• drippy plum(?)
• drippy salt
• drippy seed
• drippy shield
• drippy snail shell
• drippy staff
• drippy stake
• drippy stein
• drippy truncheon
• dromedary drinking helmet
• drone self-destruct chip
• dropped scrap of paper
• drug cocktail sauce
• druidic s'more
• drum machine
• drum of pomade
• dubious loincloth
• dubious peppermint
• duck-on-a-string
• duct tape buckler
• duct tape dockers
• duct tape fedora
• duct tape shirt
• duct tape sword
• dude ranch souvenir crate
• dungeon dragon chest
• dusty animal cranium
• dusty animal jawbone
• dusty animal pelvis
• dusty bottle of blood
• dusty eighth caudal vertebra
• dusty eighth thoracic vertebra
• dusty eleventh thoracic vertebra
• dusty fifth caudal vertebra
• dusty fifth cervical vertebra
• dusty fifth thoracic vertebra
• dusty first caudal vertebra
• dusty first cervical vertebra
• dusty first lumbar vertebra
• dusty first thoracic vertebra
• dusty fourth caudal vertebra
• dusty fourth lumbar vertebra
• dusty fourth thoracic vertebra
• dusty left clavicle
• dusty left eighth rib
• dusty left femur
• dusty left fibula
• dusty left first rear claw
• dusty left fourth rib
• dusty left humerus
• dusty left kneecap
• dusty left ninth rib
• dusty left radius
• dusty left scapula
• dusty left second front claw
• dusty left second rib
• dusty left seventh rib
• dusty left sixth rib
• dusty left third front claw
• dusty left third rear claw
• dusty left third rib
• dusty left thumb
• dusty left tibia
• dusty left twelfth rib
• dusty ninth thoracic vertebra
• dusty right clavicle
• dusty right eighth rib
• dusty right eleventh rib
• dusty right femur
• dusty right fibula
• dusty right fifth rib
• dusty right first front claw
• dusty right first rear claw
• dusty right first rib
• dusty right fourth front claw
• dusty right fourth rear claw
• dusty right fourth rib
• dusty right humerus
• dusty right kneecap
• dusty right ninth rib
• dusty right radius
• dusty right scapula
• dusty right second front claw
• dusty right second rear claw
• dusty right second rib
• dusty right seventh rib
• dusty right sixth rib
• dusty right tenth rib
• dusty right third rib
• dusty right thumb
• dusty right tibia
• dusty right twelfth rib
• dusty right ulna
• dusty second caudal vertebra
• dusty second lumbar vertebra
• dusty second thoracic vertebra
• dusty seventh caudal vertebra
• dusty seventh cervical vertebra
• dusty seventh lumbar vertebra
• dusty sixth caudal vertebra
• dusty sixth cervical vertebra
• dusty sixth lumbar vertebra
• dusty sixth thoracic vertebra
• dusty tenth caudal vertebra
• dusty tenth thoracic vertebra
• dusty third caudal vertebra
• dusty third cervical vertebra
• dusty third lumbar vertebra
• dusty third thoracic vertebra
• dusty twelfth thoracic vertebra
• dwarvish war helmet
• dwarvish war kilt
• dwarvish war mattock
• eXtreme nose ring
• eagle feather
• ear candle
• earthenware muffin tin
• eau de mort
• eaves droppers
• ectoplasmic paste
• edible alien plant bit
• eel sauce
• eel skin
• eelskin hat
• eelskin pants
• eelskin shield
• eerie fetish
• eggman noodles
• eggwater
• eighth plague
• elbow soup
• elderly jawbreaker
• eldritch concentrate
• eldritch elixir
• eldritch extract
• eldritch hammer
• eldritch hat
• eldritch mushroom
• eldritch pants
• eldritch rub
• eldritch tincture
• eldritch tincture (depleted)
• electric Kool-Aid
• electric mushroom
• electric pants
• electrical thingamabob
• electrician's hardhat
• electronic Brain Trainer game
• electronic dulcimer pants
• electronics kit
• elemental caipiroska
• elemental paste
• elemental sugarcube
• elevenderizing hammer
• elevennis shoes
• elf army field rations
• elf sleeper agent
• elven socks
• elven whittling knife
• ember egg
• embering hunk
• embezzler's oil
• emergency glowstick
• emergency margarita
• emo roe
• emotion chip
• empty Rain-Doh can
• empty agua de vida bottle
• empty blowgun
• empty hourglass
• empty lava bottle
• enchanted brass knuckles
• enchanted eyepatch
• encoder ring
• energized spores
• enhanced signal receiver
• envelope full of Meat
• epic cluster
• epic wad
• equal sign
• eraser nubbin
• ert grey goo ring
• essential cameraderie
• essential soy
• essential tofu
• etched hourglass
• eternal car battery
• eternal knot tattoo
• even more tinsel
• everfull glass
• evil flaming eyeball pendant
• evil golden arch
• evil golden arches
• evil googly eye
• evil noodles
• evil paper umbrella
• evil teddy bear
• evil teddy bear sewing kit
• evil-ass club
• exactly-three-shaped box
• excitement pill
• exclusive club
• exclusive ultra-rare item
• executive mime flask
• exo-xo-skeleton-skeleton
• exotic orchid
• expensive cigar
• experimental carbon fiber pasta additive
• expired MRE
• expired bottle of peppermint schnapps
• expired can of franks 'n' beans
• exploding cigar
• exploding gum
• exploding hacky-sack
• extra DNA
• extra ooze
• extra special Crimbo stocking
• extra time
• extra-grubby grub
• extra-hard jawbreaker
• extra-heavy BRICKO brick
• extra-see-thru nightie
• extra-strength goo
• extra-strength red potion
• extra-strength rubber bands
• extra-toasted half sandwich
• extremely skinny jeans
• eye 'n' horn shampoo
• eye-pod
• facsimile dictionary
• fairy gravy boat
• fairy-worn boots
• fake fake vomit
• fake hand
• fake plastic grass
• fake washboard
• false eyelashes
• familiar scrapbook
• fancy beer bottle
• fancy blue potion
• fancy but probably evil chocolate
• fancy calligraphy pen
• fancy canapés
• fancy chocolate
• fancy chocolate car
• fancy chocolate sculpture
• fancy dress ball
• fancy party pants
• fancy schmancy cheese sauce
• fancy seashell necklace
• fancy tin beer can
• fancy tophat
• fancy tuxedo pants
• farfalle bow tie
• fascinating alien plant sample
• fascinating alien zoological sample
• fat bottom quark
• fat loot token
• fear condenser
• feathered headdress
• festive egg sac
• festive sausage
• festive warbear bank
• fettucini épines Inconnu recipe
• fetus-smashing club
• fez of etymology
• fiberglass fannypack
• fiberglass fedora
• fiberglass fetish
• fiberglass fibers
• fiberglass fingerguard
• fiberglass foil
• fiberglass frock
• fiberglass insulation
• fiery wing
• figurine of a charred seal
• figurine of a cute baby seal
• figurine of a shadowy seal
• figurine of a sleek seal
• figurine of a stinking seal
• figurine of an ancient seal
• figurine of an armored seal
• filet of The Fish
• filigreed hamethyst earring
• filigreed hamethyst necklace
• filigreed hamethyst ring
• filled mosquito
• filth-encrusted futon
• filthy armor
• filthy hippy poncho
• filthy lucre
• filthy poultice
• fin-bit wax
• fire
• fire ant pheromones
• fire axe
• fire crackers
• [2426]fire flower
• fire hose
• fire-roasted lake trout
• fireproof skip lid
• fish bazooka
• fish head
• fish juice box
• fish sauce
• fish scimitar
• fish stick
• fishbone belt
• fishbone bracers
• fishbone catcher's mitt
• fishbone corset
• fishbone facemask
• fishbone fins
• fishbone kneepads
• fishcake
• fishelada
• fishin' hat
• fishy fish lasagna
• fishy paste
• fishy pipe
• fishy wand
• fist turkey outline
• fistful of ashes
• fistful of wood shavings
• fitness wristband
• five-fingered fern resin
• fixodent
• fizzing spore pod
• flagellate flagon
• flagellate soup
• flagstone fez
• flagstone flag
• flagstone flagments
• flagstone flail
• flagstone fleece
• flagstone flip-flops
• flagstone fringe
• flame orb
• flamin' bindle
• flaming cardboard sword
• flaming familiar doppelgänger
• flaming glowsticks
• flaming juggler's balls
• flaming leaf crown
• flaming nose
• flaming pink shirt
• flamingo mallet
• flan del mar
• flapper floppers
• flapper fly
• flashing novelty button
• flashy pirate dreadlocks
• flask of Gnomochloric acid
• flask of egggrog
• flask of moonshine
• flask of port
• flask of tainted mining oil
• flat cider
• fleshy putty
• flickering pixel
• flimsy hardwood scraps
• floaty gravel
• floaty inverse geode
• floaty pebbles
• floaty rock
• floaty rock helmet
• floaty rock necklace
• floaty rock pants
• floaty stone sphere
• floorboard cruft
• flour cookie
• fluid of fudge-finding
• flyest of shirts
• flytrap bezoar
• foam naval trousers
• foam noodle
• foggy glass globe
• foie gras
• folder (D-Team)
• folder (Ex-Files)
• folder (Jackass Plumber)
• folder (KOLHS)
• folder (Knight Writer)
• folder (Seawolf)
• folder (Stinky Trash Kid)
• folder (Yedi)
• folder (barbarian)
• folder (blue)
• folder (catfish)
• folder (cyan)
• folder (dancing dolphins)
• folder (green)
• folder (heavy metal)
• folder (holographic fractal)
• folder (magenta)
• folder (owl)
• folder (rainbow unicorn)
• folder (red)
• folder (skull and crossbones)
• folder (smiley face)
• folder (sports car)
• folder (tranquil landscape)
• folder (wizard)
• folder (yellow)
• food drive button
• foon
• foon of fearfulness
• foon of fleshiness
• foon of foulness
• foon of frigidity
• foon of fulmination
• football helmet
• forbidden danish
• foreign box
• forest canopy bed
• forest tears
• fortifying hot cocoa
• fortune cookie
• fossilized baboon skull
• fossilized bat skull
• fossilized demon skull
• fossilized limb
• fossilized necklace
• fossilized serpent skull
• fossilized spider skull
• fossilized spike
• fossilized spine
• fossilized torso
• fossilized wing
• fossilized wyrm skull
• fragment of Jarlsberg's soul
• frankincenser
• free boots
• free-range mushroom
• freezerburned ice cube
• freezin' bindle
• freightcake
• french-fry grabber
• fresh can of paint
• fresh coat of paint
• fried air
• frigid mote
• frigid-ass club
• frilly shirt
• frontwinder skin
• frost flower
• frost-rimed desk bell
• frost-rimed seal hide
• frozen Mob Penguin
• frozen banquet
• frozen seal spine
• frozen tofu pop
• frozen turtle shell
• fruit basket
• fruit bat
• fruit bowl
• fruit-stuffed rumcake
• fruity pebble
• frying brainpan
• fudge bunny
• fudge cube
• fudge pocket square
• fudge spork
• fudge-shaped hole in space-time
• fudgecycle
• full meat tank
• funhouse mirror
• funky brass fez
• funky junk key
• funny paper hat
• furry fur
• furry green earmuffs
• furry kilt
• furry pill
• furry skirt
• fustulent seal grulch
• fuzzy bracelets
• ga-ga radio
• gabardine gaiters
• gabardine garibaldi
• gabardine garland
• gabardine girdle
• gabardine gloves
• gabardine gunnysack
• gabardine smithereens
• gaffer's tape
• gallon of milk
• ganger bandana
• garbage sticker
• gas can
• gasmask
• gator shades
• gattoo
• gauze garter
• gauze hammock
• gazing shoes
• gearbox necklace
• generic healing potion
• generic mana potion
• genie bottle
• genie's bracers
• genie's pants
• genie's scimitar
• genie's turbane
• ghast iron Garibaldi
• ghast iron cleaver
• ghast iron heater shield
• ghast iron ingot
• ghost cucumber
• ghost pencil
• ghost pepper
• ghost pickle on a stick
• ghost protocol
• ghost shawl
• ghost thread
• ghost trap
• ghostly body paint
• ghostly ectoplasm
• ghostly pickling solution
• giant O
• giant X
• giant book of ancient carols
• giant breath mint
• giant cheesestick
• giant clay ashtray
• giant diamond ring
• giant driftwood sculpture
• giant fishhook
• giant foam finger
• giant free-range mushroom
• giant glass of brandy
• giant green gummi bear
• giant green gummi ingot
• giant marshmallow
• giant red gummi bear
• giant red gummi ingot
• giant stuffed bugbear
• giant yellow gummi bear
• giant yellow gummi ingot
• gift-a-pult
• gilded BRICKO chalice
• gilded ancient cursed chest
• gilded lily
• gilded trumpet
• gill rings
• gin-soaked blotter paper
• ginger beer
• gingerbeard
• gingerbread cigarette
• gingerbread dog treat
• gingerbread house
• gingerbread moneybag
• gingerbread nylons
• gingerbread pirate
• gingerbread pistol
• gingerbread spice latte
• gingernade
• gingerservo
• gingham blouse
• ginseng
• glark cable
• glass casserole dish
• glass eye
• glass of "milk"
• glass of drippy wine
• glass of raw eggs
• glass pie plate
• gleaming oyster egg
• glimmering great tit feather
• glimmering penguin feather
• glimmering phoenix feather
• glimmering raven feather
• glistening fish meat
• glistening oyster egg
• glittery mascara
• glob of extra-green chlorophyll
• glob of melted wax
• glob of salty molasses
• glob of undifferentiated tissue
• globe of Deep Sauce
• gloomy black mushroom
• glow-in-the-dark dart gun
• glow-in-the-dark stuffed burrowgrub
• glowing El Vibrato drone
• glowing frisbee
• glyph of athleticism
• gnashing teeth
• gnatwing earring
• gnauga hide
• gnauga hide kilt
• gnauga hide skirt
• gnauga hide vest
• gnawed-up dog bone
• gnoll-tooth necklace
• goat
• goat beard
• gob of wet hair
• goblin bone hilt
• goblin collarbone
• goblin paste
• gold nuggets
• gold skull ring
• golden banana
• golden fleece
• golden gum
• golden gun
• golden monkey statuette
• golden plastic oyster egg
• golden ring
• golden sausage
• golden tattoo gun
• golden twig
• goo magnet
• good ash
• good gravy
• goodberry
• gooey drippy candy bar
• gooey paste
• goofily-plumed helmet
• googly chest eyes
• googly-ball hat
• googly-heart hat
• googly-star hat
• gooified animal matter
• gooified mineral matter
• gooified vegetable matter
• gory drippy orb
• government
• government booze shipment
• government food shipment
• government per-diem
• government requisition form
• government-issued candy
• government-issued eyeshade
• government-issued necktie
• government-issued slacks
• grain of sand
• grandfather watch
• grape troll doll
• grass whistle
• gravy boat
• gray bow tie
• gray seashell
• grease cannon
• greasy desk bell
• great big capacitor
• greedy ghostling
• green BRICKO brick
• green LavaCo Lamp™
• green and red bean
• green balloon
• green candygram
• green cloth cap
• green eggnog
• green glowstick
• green hamhock
• green lava globs
• green mana
• green marshmallow
• green peawee marble
• green pixie spog
• green rock candy
• green rocket
• green seashell
• green slime glob
• green smoke bomb
• green traffic cone
• green-iced sweet roll
• gregarious ghostling
• grey down vest
• grey gosling
• grilled mooseflank
• grimstone mask
• grinning ghostling
• grinning turtle
• grisly shield
• grizzled bearskin
• grog nuts
• groggipop
• grogtini
• groose grease
• groovy prism necklace
• groping claw
• groveling gravel
• grubby wool
• grubby wool beerwarmer
• grubby wool gloves
• grubby wool hat
• grubby wool scarf
• grubby wool trousers
• grubby woolball
• grue egg omelette
• guffin
• guild application
• guilty sprout
• guitar pick
• gummi belemnite
• gummi snake
• gummi trilobite
• gunner's daughter
• gunpowder burrito
• gunwale
• gunwale whalegun
• guts necklace
• gyroscope
• haemolymphnode
• haiku katana
• hairshirt
• hairy staff
• half double fruitcake
• half-height cigar
• half-height unicycle
• half-rotten brain
• half-size scalpel
• halibut
• hambrosier
• hamethyst bracelet
• hamethyst earring
• hamethyst necklace
• hamethyst ring
• hamethyst-handled sixgun
• hand of Mr. Cards
• hand turkey outline
• hand-carved bokken
• hand-carved bow
• hand-carved staff
• hand-crafted candy cane
• hand-knitted Crimbo socks
• hand-knitted diving booties
• handful of Boltsmann bearings
• handful of barley
• handful of bees
• handful of drink tickets
• handful of hand chalk
• handful of honey
• handful of juicy garbage
• handful of napalm
• handful of numbers
• handful of split pea soup
• handful of toilet paper
• handmade hobby horse
• hangman's hood
• hard rock
• hardening cream
• hardware upgrade
• haunted Hell ramen
• haunted bottle of vodka
• haunted cherry pie
• haunted doghouse
• haunted eggnog
• haunted flame
• haunted gimlet
• haunted martini
• haunted orange
• haunted pizza
• hazmat helmet
• head mirror
• head of emberg lettuce
• head-mounted Trainbot
• heart cozy
• heart of rock and roll
• heart-shaped balloon
• heart-shaped candy whetstone
• heart-shaped crate
• heat-resistant sheet metal
• heather graham cracker
• heavy duty umbrella
• heavy hot sauce
• heavy metal sonata
• heavy metal thunderrr guitarrr
• heavy-duty Crimbot aerial
• hell in a bucket
• hellseal claw
• hellseal whisker
• helm of the white knight
• hemlock helm
• hemp backpack
• hemp net
• hermedisiac cologne
• heteroerotic frat-paddle
• hewn moon-rune spoon
• hi-density nylocite leg armor
• hibernating Grimstone Golem
• hibernating robot reindeer
• hibiscus petal
• hideous egg
• high-end ginger wine
• high-resistance ultrapolymer plating
• high-speed upgrade
• high-temperature mining drill
• hippo skin buckler
• hippo tutu
• hippo whip
• hippopotamus kilt
• hippopotamus pants
• hippopotamus skin
• hippopotamus skirt
• hipposkin poncho
• hippy herbal tea
• hippy paste
• hipster cocktail
• hoarded candy wad
• hobo code binder
• hobo dungarees
• hobo fortress blueprints
• hobo monkey
• hobo nickel
• hobo paste
• hobo stogie
• hockey stick of furious angry rage
• holiday cheese log
• holiday log
• hollow rock
• holly-flavored Hob-O
• holo-bomber
• holo-platoon
• holo-tank
• homeless hobo spirit
• homemade robot
• homemade robot gear
• homeopathic healing powder
• honey bun of Boris
• honey-drenched ham slice
• hopeful candle
• hopping socks
• hot Dreadsylvanian cocoa
• hot and sour sauce
• hot button candy
• hot cluster
• hot clusterbomb
• hot cocoa au beurre
• hot cocoa with rainbow marshmallows
• hot cross bow
• hot daub
• hot egg
• hot hi mein
• hot jelly
• hot nuggets
• hot pink lipstick
• hot powder
• hot stuffing
• hot wad
• hot watered rum
• hot wine
• hot-ass club
• hothammer
• hourglass
• house of twigs and spit
• house-sized mushroom
• housekeeping automa-core
• huge Crimbo cookie
• huge bowl of candy
• huge mint leaf
• huge mosquito proboscis
• huge pumpkin
• human musk
• humming El Vibrato drone
• hungover chauvinist pig
• hunk of granite
• hushed puppy
• hyperbolic plasma focuser
• hyperinflated seal lung
• hypnodisk
• iFlail
• iShield
• ice baby
• ice pick
• ice rice
• ice sickle
• ice skate decoy
• ice skate doll
• ice skates
• ice stein
• ice-cold Sir Schlitz
• ice-cold Willer
• ice-cold six-pack
• iceberglet
• iced plum wine
• iced-out bling
• icicle katana
• icing poncho
• icy-hot katana
• illicit fish sauce
• imaginary lemon
• imbued seal-blubber candle
• imitation crab zoea
• imitation nice watch
• immense ballet shoes
• immense cyborg hand
• immense free-range mushroom
• imp air
• imported lemon lozenge
• imported taffy
• improved martini
• in-the-box spring shoes
• incense bath ball
• incredibly creepy marionette
• incredibly dense meat gem
• indescribably horrible paste
• indie comic hipster glasses
• industrial fire extinguisher
• industrial frosting
• industrial lubricant
• industrial strength anti-fungal spray
• industrially-crushed ice
• inert sludgepuppy
• infant sandworm
• infernal snowball
• infernal toilet brush
• infinite BACON machine
• inflammable leaf
• inflatable LT&T telegraph office
• inflatable baseball bat
• inflatable duck
• innuendo
• insane tophat
• insulated gold wire
• insulting hat
• intact anemone spike
• intact medium-wave antenna
• interesting clod of dirt
• intergalactic pom poms
• internet point
• interrogative elixir
• intimidating coiffure
• intricate clockwork big hand
• intricate clockwork birdhouse
• intricate clockwork cuckoo
• intricate clockwork disc
• intricate clockwork egg
• intricate clockwork little hand
• intricate clockwork numeral I
• intricate clockwork numeral II
• intricate clockwork numeral III
• intricate clockwork numeral IV
• intricate clockwork numeral IX
• intricate clockwork numeral V
• intricate clockwork numeral VI
• intricate clockwork numeral VII
• intricate clockwork numeral VIII
• intricate clockwork numeral X
• intricate clockwork numeral XI
• intricate clockwork numeral XII
• intricate music box parts
• intriguing puzzle box
• invisibility cream
• invisible bag
• ion grid
• ion-pulse modulation stabilizer
• iron chain
• iron dagger
• iron helmet
• ironic knit cap
• irradiated candy cane
• irradiated pet snacks
• irresistibility potion
• irritability potion
• ittah bittah hookah
• jack flapper
• jalapeño slices
• jam band
• jam band bootleg
• jamfish jam
• janitor sponge
• janitor's mop
• jar of anniversary jam
• jar of frostigkraut
• jar of magical relish
• jar of psychoses (The Captain of the Gourd)
• jar of psychoses (The Meatsmith)
• jar of psychoses (The Old Man)
• jar of psychoses (The Pretentious Artist)
• jar of squeeze
• jar of swamp gas
• jar of swamp honey
• jazz soap
• jet bennie marble
• jewel-eyed wizard hat
• jewelry-making pliers
• jingle bell
• jitterbug larva
• joybuzzer
• jug of Gnomochloric acid
• jug of Sneaky Pete's Mojo
• jug of booze
• jug-o-magicalness
• jumping horseradish
• junk band
• junk trunks
• junk-mail shirt
• kelp
• kelp-holly drape
• kelp-holly gun
• kerosene-soaked skip
• ketchup
• kevlateflocite helmet
• khaki duffel bag
• kickback cookbook
• kill screen
• killer rag doll
• killing feather
• kilopede skull
• kite
• kitten burglar
• kitty sheet music
• kneecapping stick
• knobby kneepads
• knuckle sandwich
• kobold treasure hoard
• kumquartz ring
• lab-grown meat
• labrador cookie
• ladle of mystery
• large pile of sand
• large stone triangle
• laser cannon
• laser targeting chip
• laser-broiled pear
• latte lovers club card
• latte lovers member's mug
• lava balaclava
• lavalarva
• lavender candy heart
• lavender candygram
• lavender paisley oyster egg
• lavender plastic oyster egg
• lavender striped oyster egg
• lawnmower blade
• lead collar
• lead necklace
• lead umbrella
• leaf
• leafy browns
• leather aviator's cap
• leathery bat skin
• leathery cat skin
• leathery rat skin
• leechknife
• left bear arm
• left bracket
• left half of a heart necklace
• left parenthesis
• left-handed melodica
• leftover Crimbo rations
• leftover chocolate bar
• leftover pasty
• leftovers sandwich
• leg-mounted Trainbots
• leggings of the Spider Queen
• length of old fuse
• less-than-three-shaped box
• lesser grodulated violet
• lewd playing card
• li'l candy corn costume
• li'l ghost costume
• li'l knight costume
• li'l orphan tot
• li'l unicorn costume
• liar's pants
• licorice boa
• licorice garrote
• licorice root
• licorice snake
• licorice whip
• lifeless meat doll
• limburger biker boots
• lime
• lime supersucker
• linoleum crossbow
• linoleum crossbow string
• linoleum helmet turtle
• linoleum meat stack
• linoleum staff
• linoleum stick
• linoleum sword
• linoleum sword hilt
• lint
• lip soup
• liquid SONAR
• liquid ice pack
• liquid rhinestones
• lit leaf lasso
• literal grasshopper
• little box of fireworks
• little piece of steel
• little red .epub file
• little red book
• little round pebble
• little wooden mannequin
• live lobster
• live wire
• livid energy
• llama lama cria
• loaded serum blowgun
• loathing eagle baby-doll shirt
• locked mumming trunk
• lodestone
• logic synthesizer
• long pork lasagna
• long-forgotten necklace
• long-stemmed rose
• longbox of Batfellow comics
• longhaired hippy wig
• loofah ladle
• loofah lavalier
• loofah lederhosen
• loofah legwarmers
• loofah lei
• loofah lumberjack's hat
• loofah lumps
• loose blade
• lost elf luggage
• love
• love song of icy revenge
• lovecat tail
• low tide martini
• lowercase N
• lowercase a
• lucky Crimbo tiki necklace
• lucky Tam O'Shanter
• lucky Tam O'Shatner
• lucky ball-and-chain
• lucky cat collar
• lucky cat statue
• lucky cat's paw
• lucky gold ring
• lucky lighter
• lucky rabbitfish fin
• lucky-ish pill
• lump of Saccharine Maple sap
• lump of bauxite
• lump of black ichor
• lump of coal
• lump of diamond
• lump of goofball ore
• lump of loyal latite
• lupine appetite hormones
• lustrous drippy orb
• lustrous oyster egg
• luxury fly-tying workbench
• lynyrd skin
• lynyrd snare
• lynyrdskin breeches
• lynyrdskin cap
• machetito
• machine elf capsule
• mad scientist's sock monkey
• mafia aria
• mafia filofax
• mafia middle finger ring
• mafia organizer badge
• mafia pinky ring
• mafia pointer finger ring
• mafia thumb ring
• mafia wedding ring
• magenta seashell
• magic dragonfish fry
• magic lamp
• magical battery
• magical ice cube with a fly in it
• magical mystery juice
• magical pony: Dusk Shiny
• magical pony: Pearjack
• magical pony: Rosey Cake
• magical pony: Shutterfly
• magical pony: Spectrum Dash
• magical pony: Uniquity
• magical sausage
• magical sausage casing
• magnetic field
• magnificent oyster egg
• maid head
• makeshift castanets
• makeshift crane
• makeshift sixgun
• malevolent medallion
• mama's squeezebox
• mana-basted tofurkey leg
• mana-coated yams
• mana-fortified cranberry sauce
• mana-stuffed herbal stuffing
• manly bloomers
• mantis skull
• map to Anemone Mine
• map to Dolph Bossin's hideout
• map to Madness Reef
• map to a candy-rich block
• map to the Cursed Village
• map to the Dive Bar
• map to the Marinara Trench
• map to the Mystic Wood
• map to the Putrid Swamp
• map to the Skate Park
• map to the Sprawling Cemetery
• map to the Towering Mountains
• maple leaf
• marble maebari
• marble magnet
• marble mantle
• marble mariachi hat
• marble medallion
• marble mignonette bowl
• marble molecules
• mariachi pants
• marinara jug
• marine aquamarine
• marionette
• marionette collective
• marshmallow
• marshmallow bomb
• marshmallow flambé
• marshroom
• martiny
• mass of wriggling tentacles
• massive gemstone
• massive sitar
• massive wrench
• mauve paisley oyster egg
• mauve plastic oyster egg
• mauve striped oyster egg
• mayfly bait necklace
• mayo pump
• meadeorite
• meat engine
• meat face
• meat golem
• meat paste
• meat shield
• meat st‰¿bing club
• meat stack
• meatball
• meatball machine
• meatcar model
• meatspout staff
• meaty helmet turtle
• medium slimy cyst
• medium stone triangle
• melty plastic grenade
• meme generator
• memory of a C
• memory of a CA base pair
• memory of a CG base pair
• memory of a CT base pair
• memory of a G
• memory of a GT base pair
• memory of a T
• memory of an A
• memory of an AG base pair
• memory of an AT base pair
• memory of some delicious amino acids
• menorette
• mercenary pistol
• mercenary rifle
• mesquito proboscis
• messenger bag RNA
• metal band T-shirt
• metal mandible
• metal meteoroid
• metallic foil bow
• metallic foil cat ears
• metallic foil radar dish
• metandienone
• meteor shower cap
• meteorb
• meteoreo
• meteorite earring
• meteorite fragment
• meteorite guard
• meteorite necklace
• meteorite ring
• meteortarboard
• meteorthopedic shoes
• metrognome
• micronova
• midget clownfish
• milestone
• military candy cane
• military-grade peppermint oil
• milk of magnesium
• mime army camouflage kit
• mime army challenge coin
• mime army infiltration glove
• mime army insignia (cryonics)
• mime army insignia (espionage)
• mime army insignia (infantry)
• mime army insignia (intelligence)
• mime army insignia (morale)
• mime army insignia (psychological warfare)
• mime army insignia (pyrotechnics)
• mime army insignia (sanitation)
• mime army rations
• mime army shotglass
• mime army superserum
• mime army wine
• mime eraser
• mime pocket probe
• mime-proof sunglasses
• mimeplasm
• miming beret
• miming boots
• miming corduroys
• miming gloves
• miming shirt
• mini kiwi
• mini kiwi aioli
• mini kiwi antimilitaristic hippy petition
• mini kiwi bikini
• mini kiwi digitized cookies
• mini kiwi egg
• mini kiwi icepick
• mini kiwi illicit antibiotic
• mini kiwi intoxicating spirits
• mini kiwi invisible dirigible
• mini kiwi silicon tiepin
• mini kiwi tipi
• mini kiwi whipping stick
• mini kiwi-flavored aspirin-injecting lipstick
• mini kiwitini
• mini-Mr. Accessory
• mini-zeppelin
• miniature Embering Hulk
• miniature Jacob's ladder
• miniature antlers
• miniature carton of clove cigarettes
• miniature castagnets
• miniature coffin
• miniature crystal ball
• miniature dormouse
• miniature espresso maker
• miniature gravy-covered maypole
• miniature life preserver
• miniature pruning shears
• miniature stuffed Goth Giant
• miniature tophat
• miniscule beatbox
• mint condition Lil' Doctor™ bag
• mint condition magnifying glass
• mint-condition magic wand
• mint-in-box Powerful Glove
• mirrored aviator shades
• misfit dolly
• misfit hobby horse
• misfit teddy bear
• misshapen animal skeleton
• missing semicolon
• missing wine
• model train set
• moist Crimbo spices
• moist sack
• mojo filter
• molehill mountain
• molten brick
• monomolecular yo-yo
• monster bait
• monster pants
• monstrous monocle
• mood ring
• moon-amber
• moon-amber necklace
• moonglasses
• moose antlers
• mooseflank
• moosemeat pie
• moreltini
• moss floss
• moss mace
• moss mantle
• moss marlinspike
• moss medal
• moss megaphone
• moss mitre
• moss mulch
• mostly rat-hide leggings
• mostly-empty bottle of cookie wine
• mother's necklace
• motivational poster
• mountain lion skin
• mourning wine
• moveable feast
• muddy pirate hat
• muddy skirt
• muffled muffuletta
• mugcake
• mulled blood
• mulled hobo wine
• mulled wine
• multi-level marzipan
• mummified entombed cookbookbat
• mumming trunk
• mummy costume
• murderbot component casing
• murderbot live wire
• murderbot mask
• murderbot memory chip
• murderbot monofilament
• murderbot plasma rifle
• murderbot power cell
• murderbot shield unit
• murderbot spring injector
• murderbot whip
• muscle oil
• muscular soup
• mushroom fermenting solution
• mushroom filet
• mushroom slab
• mushroom tea
• mushroom whiskey
• muskox-skin cap
• musty moccasins
• mutant arm
• mutant cactus bud
• mutant crown
• mutant fire ant egg
• mutant gila monster egg
• mutant legs
• mutant rattlesnake egg
• mutated candy lump
• mylar scout drone
• myrrh pouch
• myrrh-soaked, chocolate-covered bacon bath ball
• mysterious chest
• mysterious silver lapel pin
• mystery lollipop
• name change form
• nanite-infested gingerbread bugbear
• nanorhino credit card
• nasty desk bell
• nasty rat mask
• nasty-ass club
• nasty-smelling moss
• nativity shorts
• natto marble soda
• natural magick candle
• naughty fortune teller
• naughty origami kit
• naughty paper shuriken
• nauseating reagent
• navel ring of navel gazing
• ncle leg
• neck wreath
• neg grog
• nega-mushroom
• nega-mushroom wine
• negative lump
• negotiatin' hammer
• neoprene skullcap
• nervous tick egg
• neverending wallet chain
• new habit
• newborn kobold
• newly-hatched mayonnaise wasp
• nice warm beer
• nicksilver ring
• nicksilver spurs
• night-vision goggles
• ninja pirate zombie robot
• ninja pirate zombie robot head
• ninjammies
• noir fedora
• non-Euclidean angle
• norwhal helmet
• nosy nose ringy ring
• note from Clancy
• nothing-in-the-box-in-the-box
• nothingtini
• noticeable pumps
• novelty monorail ticket
• novelty tattoo sleeves
• nozzle of the Phoenix
• nugget of sodium
• nugget of ticksilver
• nugget of wicksilver
• numberwang
• nutcracking pliers
• octolus-skin cloak
• odor extractor
• off-hand balloon
• off-white paisley oyster egg
• off-white plastic oyster egg
• off-white polka-dot oyster egg
• offensive moustache
• office-supply crossbow
• officer's nog
• oil of expertise
• oil shell
• oil-filled donut
• oily boid
• oily golden mushroom
• oily paste
• ojo de pez burrito
• old ball and chain
• old dry bone
• old patched suit-pants
• old school Mafia knicke½æ
• old school Mafia knickerbockers
• old soft shoes
• old-fashioned Crimbo Pressie
• old-school pirate grog
• oldcake
• olive lo mein
• one million meat pancakes
• one piece of bubble gum
• one-day ticket to Conspiracy Island
• one-day ticket to Dinseylandfill
• one-day ticket to Spring Break Beach
• one-day ticket to That 70s Volcano
• one-day ticket to The Glaciest
• one-winged stab bat
• onyx bishop
• onyx king
• onyx knight
• onyx pawn
• onyx queen
• onyx rook
• oozenog
• optimal spreadsheet
• orange and black Crimboween candy
• orange boxing gloves
• orange candygram
• orange glowstick
• orange slime glob
• orange snowcone
• orange traffic cone
• orc paste
• organ grinder
• organic potpourri
• origami "gentlemen's" magazine
• origami pasties
• origami riding crop
• oriole-feather headdress
• ornamental sextant
• ornate ancient cursed chest
• ornate ancient cursed key
• orphan baby yeti
• out-of-work circus flea
• outrageous sombrero
• over-the-shoulder Folder Holder
• overcharged El Vibrato power sphere
• overclocked avian microprocessor
• overflowing gift basket
• overloaded Yule battery
• overloaded short-pulse transistor
• overly-fancy hot cocoa
• overpriced "imported" beer
• oversized fish scaler
• oversized ice molecule
• ovoid leather thing
• oxygenated eggnog helmet
• oyster basket
• oyster egg balloon
• oyster sauce
• pacification grenade
• packaged Daylight Shavings Helmet
• packaged Everfull Dart Holster
• packaged June cleaver
• packaged Jurassic Parka
• packaged Pocket Professor
• packaged Roman Candelabra
• packaged SpinMaster™ lathe
• packaged backup camera
• packaged cold medicine cabinet
• packaged familiar scrapbook
• packaged industrial fire extinguisher
• packaged knock-off retro superhero cape
• packaged miniature crystal ball
• packaged model train set
• packet of beer seeds
• packet of dragon's teeth
• packet of mayfly bait
• packet of mushroom spores
• packet of orchid seeds
• packet of pumpkin seeds
• packet of rock seeds
• packet of tall grass seeds
• packet of thanksgarden seeds
• packet of winter seeds
• padded tortoise
• paint palette
• painted shield
• pair of candy glasses
• pair of government shades
• pair of plants
• pair of ragged claws
• pair of scissors
• pair of twitching claws
• palm-frond cloak
• palm-frond toupee
• panicked kernel
• pantogram
• pants kit
• papaya
• paper-plate-mail pants
• paperclip
• paperclip cape
• paperclip pants
• paperclip turban
• paperclip-on tie
• papier-mâché base
• papier-mâché bowl
• papier-mâché handle
• papier-mâché plaque
• papier-mâché toothpicks
• papier-mâché trophy piñata
• paraffin palazzos
• paraffin pendant
• paraffin pieces
• paraffin pith helmet
• paraffin poncho
• paraffin pseudoaccordion
• paraffin punching bag
• paranormal ricotta
• parasitic claw
• parasitic headgnawer
• parasitic strangleworm
• parasitic tentacles
• party balloon
• party beer bomb
• party crasher
• party hat
• party mouse hat
• party platter for one
• party pup
• party whip
• passable elf mask
• passed-out psychedelic bear
• pat-a-cake pendant
• patch of extra-warm fur
• patchouli oil bomb
• pea brittle
• peace shooter
• peace turkey outline
• peace-sign necklace
• pearidot
• pearl diver's necklace
• pearl diver's ring
• pearlescent oyster egg
• peasco sour
• peaza
• pebble of proud pyrite
• pebblebräu
• pec oil
• pegfinger
• pencil kunai
• penguin paste
• penguin shorts
• penguin skin
• penguin skin buckler
• penguin whip
• penguin-smacking club
• penguinskin mini-kilt
• penguinskin mini-skirt
• pentagram bandana
• peppermint bomb
• peppermint donut
• peppermint eel sauce
• peppermint harpoon gun
• peppermint parasol
• peppermint patty
• peppermint spine
• peppermint sprig
• peppermint sprout
• peppermint syrup
• peppermint tack
• peppermint tailings
• peppermint-scented socks
• percent sign
• perfect cosmopolitan
• perfect dark and stormy
• perfect ice cube
• perfect mimosa
• perfect old-fashioned
• perfectly fair coin
• perfectly ordinary frog
• personal graffiti kit
• personal raindrop
• personalizable gingerbread cookie
• personalized birthday cake
• personalized wassail stein
• pet anchor
• pet anemone
• pet bad vibe
• pet rock "Groucho" disguise
• pet rock "Snooty" disguise
• petrified time
• pewter candlestick
• pewter shavings
• phase-tuned shield generator belt
• phial of coldness
• phial of hotness
• phial of sleaziness
• phial of spookiness
• phial of stench
• philter of phorce
• photo booth sized crate
• pickled bread
• pickpocket protector
• picky tweezers
• picture of you
• pie man was not meant to eat
• piece of cake
• piece of coral
• piece of driftwood
• pig-iron bracers
• pig-iron helm
• pig-iron shinguards
• pile of Trainbot parts
• pile of dungeon junk
• pile of gritty sand
• pile of loose snow
• pile of sand
• pile of smoking rags
• pile of useless robot parts
• pilgrim shield
• pillow shell
• pine cone
• pine cone necklace
• pineapple slab
• ping-pong ball
• ping-pong paddle
• pink candygram
• pink glowstick
• pink pinkslip slip
• pink plastic baby
• piracetam
• piranha pollen
• pirate encryption key (complete)
• pirate encryption key alpha
• pirate encryption key bravo
• pirate encryption key charlie
• pirate encryption key delta
• pirate fork
• pirate hook
• pirate pantaloons
• pirate paste
• pirate radio ring
• pirate shaving cream
• pirate shirt
• pirate skull
• pirate zombie head
• pirate zombie robot head
• piratical blunderbuss
• piscatini
• pixel boomerang
• pixel bread
• pixel chain whip
• pixel cross
• pixel energy tank
• pixel grappling hook
• pixel holy water
• pixel morning star
• pixel orb
• pixel pill
• pixel rock
• pixel star
• pixel stopwatch
• pixel whip
• pixel whiskey
• pixie axie
• plain brown wrapper
• plain calzone
• plain candy cane
• plain paper hat
• plain snowcone
• plans for depleted Grimacite astrolabe
• plans for depleted Grimacite grappling hook
• plans for depleted Grimacite gravy boat
• plans for depleted Grimacite hammer
• plans for depleted Grimacite ninja mask
• plans for depleted Grimacite shinguards
• plans for depleted Grimacite weightlifting belt
• plastic Crimbo reindeer
• plastic bib
• plastic cup of flat beer
• plastic doll arms
• plastic doll legs
• plastic piranha pot
• plastic pirate hat
• plastic pumpkin bucket
• plastic spider ring
• plastic vampire fangs
• plate of Pork 'n' Pork 'n' Pork 'n' Beans
• plate of Trader Olaf's Exotic Stinkbeans
• plexifoam chin strap
• plexiglass pants
• plexiglass pendant
• plexiglass pikestaff
• plexiglass pinky ring
• plexiglass pith helmet
• plexiglass pocketwatch
• plot hole
• plump free-range mushroom
• plus one
• plush alielf
• plush alien hamsterpus
• plush dogcat
• plush ferrelf
• plush hamsterpus
• plush mutated alielephant
• plush mutated alielf
• plush sea serpent
• pocket ace
• pocket lint (blue)
• pocket lint (green)
• pocket lint (orange)
• pocket lint (white)
• pocket maze
• pocket wish
• pocketwatch on a chain
• pog #01 (spider)
• pog #03 (warwelf)
• pog #06 (filthy hippy)
• pog #07 (orcish frat boy)
• pog #08 (hellion)
• pog #09 (pirate)
• pog #10 (hobo)
• pog #11 (Naughty Sorceress)
• pogo stick
• pointy mushroom wine
• poison pen
• poisonsettia
• polished moon-amber
• polyalloy shield
• polyeaster egg
• polyester pad
• polyester panama hat
• polyester parachute
• polyester peeler
• polyester pettipants
• polyester pulsera
• polyesterene powder
• polymorphic fastening apparatus
• pompadour'd puppy
• poncho de azucar
• ponytail clip
• pool shark hair oil
• popcorn
• poppy
• porcelain candy dish
• porcelain pelerine
• porcelain pepper mill
• porcelain phantom mask
• porcelain plus-fours
• porcelain police baton
• porcelain porkpie
• porcelain powder
• porkpocket
• porquoise
• porquoise bracelet
• porquoise eyebrow ring
• porquoise ring
• porquoise-handled sixgun
• portable Mayo Clinic
• portable Othello set
• portable Spacegate
• portable corkscrew
• portable housekeeping robot
• portable motorcycle
• portable pantogram
• portable photocopier
• portable ping-pong table
• portable steam unit
• possessed top
• potato alarm clock
• potato masher
• potion of spiritual gunkifying
• potion of temporary gr8ness
• potion of the field gar
• potted fern
• potted power plant
• potted tea tree
• pottery barn owl figurine
• pottery club
• pottery hat
• pottery shield
• pottery training pants
• pottery yo-yo
• poutine pole
• powdered candy sushi set
• powdered dice
• powdered gold
• powdered madness
• powdered oxygen
• powdered powdered sugar
• powdered sealbone
• powdered toad horn
• power pill
• power seed
• power sock
• prank Crimbo card
• praying Grim Brother
• precision snowball
• pregnant gloomy black mushroom
• pregnant oily golden mushroom
• prehistoric spear
• prescription teeth whitener
• present
• press-on ribs
• pressurized potion of pneumaticity
• pressurized potion of possessiveness
• pretty pink bow
• priceless diamond
• primitive alien blowgun
• primitive alien booze
• primitive alien loincloth
• primitive alien mask
• primitive alien medicine
• primitive alien necklace
• primitive alien salad
• primitive alien spear
• primitive alien totem
• primitive candy cane
• print screen button
• prismatic wad
• pristine fish scale
• pristine piranha seed
• pro skateboard
• prohie's hat
• projectile chemistry set
• projectile icemaker
• propeller beanie
• prosthetic forehead
• protection stick
• proto-proto-protozoa
• protogenetic chunklet (elbow)
• protogenetic chunklet (flagellum)
• protogenetic chunklet (lips)
• protogenetic chunklet (muscle)
• protogenetic chunklet (synapse)
• protonic accelerator pack
• prototype stimulant
• psychedelic bubble wand
• psychic's amulet
• psychic's circlet
• psychic's crystal ball
• psychic's pslacks
• psycho sweater
• psychoanalytic jar
• psychokinetic energy blob
• pteruges
• puce polka-dot oyster egg
• puce striped oyster egg
• puff of smoke
• pufferfish spine
• pulled porquoise earring
• pulled porquoise pendant
• pulled porquoise ring
• pulsing flesh
• pump-up high-tops
• pumpkinhead mask
• punch-drunk punch
• punching mirror
• puppet strings
• purple glowstick
• purple snowcone
• purpleheart "pants"
• purpleheart logs
• putty coat
• puzzling ribbon
• puzzling trophy
• pygmy bugbear shaman
• quantized familiar
• quantized familiar experience
• quantum disintegrator pistol
• quantum nanopolymer spider web
• quantum of familiar
• quantum polarity inducer
• quantum taco
• quantum watch
• questionable taco
• quicksilver ring
• quicksilver spurs
• quirky accordion
• radioactive chew toy
• raffle ticket
• rag doll
• rainbow bomb
• rainbow crossbow
• rainbow glitter candle
• rainbow jellybean
• rainbow pearl
• rainbow pearl earring
• rainbow pearl necklace
• rainbow pearl ring
• rainbow sauce
• rainbow tie
• ram horns
• ram stick
• ramekin of space nuts
• rare oboe
• rat carcass
• rat head balloon
• rat tooth polish
• ratarang
• ratatouille de Jarlsberg
• ratskin pajama pants
• rattail whip
• rattlesnake enrager
• ratty knitted cap
• raw bread
• raw cranberry sauce
• raw gravy
• raw green beans
• raw mincemeat
• raw potato
• raw sweet potato
• raw turkey
• razor-tipped yo-yo
• real cowboy hat
• really dense meat stack
• really nice lump of coal
• really nice net
• really sticky spider web
• really tiny cocktail shaker
• record of infuriating silence
• record of infuriating silence (used)
• record of menacing silence
• record of menacing silence (used)
• record of tranquil silence
• record of tranquil silence (used)
• recording of Inigo's Incantation of Inspiration
• recording of Rolando's Rondo of Resisto
• recovered cufflinks
• recursive spline reticulator
• red China marble
• red LavaCo Lamp™
• red and white claret
• red balloon
• red book
• red class ring
• red coat
• red coin
• red lava globs
• red masque
• red money bag
• red paisley oyster egg
• red pixel potion
• red plastic baby
• red plastic oyster egg
• red plumber's boots
• red polka-dot oyster egg
• red potion
• red rocket
• red shoe
• red striped oyster egg
• red traffic cone
• red tulip
• red white and blue claret
• red-and-green microcamera
• red-hot knucklebone
• red-hot medallion
• red-hot sausage fork
• red-soled high heels
• red-spotted snapper roe
• redwood rain stick
• refrigerated biohazard container
• refurbished air fryer
• regret hose
• regular-size brogurt
• rehearsing dramatic hedgehog
• reinforced furry underpants
• reliable sixgun
• remorseless knife
• repaid diaper
• repaired El Vibrato drone
• replica Elf Guard medal
• replica Ten Dollars
• replica bat-oomerang
• replica key
• research fragment
• residual chitin paste
• resolution: be happier
• resolution: be kinder
• resolution: be wealthier
• respected companion biscuit
• reverse Tantalus
• reverse-oscillating klystron
• rewinged stab bat
• rhesus monkey
• rhinestone
• rhinestone cowhorn
• rhinoceros horn
• ribbon candy ascot
• ribcage rollcage
• riboflavin
• rickety old unicycle
• ridiculous earring
• ridiculous sunglasses
• rigging knot
• right bear arm
• right half of a heart necklace
• right parenthesis
• rigid carapace
• ring
• ring of conflict
• ring of the Skeleton Lord
• rinky-dink sixgun
• roasted marshmallow
• roasted vegetable focaccia
• roasted vegetable of Jarlsberg
• roboduck-on-a-string
• robot reindeer protocol B.L.I.T.Z.E.N.
• robot reindeer protocol C.U.P.I.D.
• robot reindeer protocol D.A.N.C.E.R.
• robot reindeer protocol D.A.S.H.E.R.
• robot reindeer protocol D.O.N.N.E.R.
• robot reindeer protocol O.L.I.V.E.
• robot reindeer protocol P.R.A.N.C.E.R.
• robot reindeer protocol R.U.D.O.L.P.H.
• robot reindeer protocol V.I.X.E.N.
• rock lobster
• rocky road ice cream
• rodeo whiskey
• rogue swarmer
• roll of Hob-Os
• roll of drink tickets
• roll of meat
• roller skate decoy
• roller skate doll
• rolling pin
• rook cookie
• root beer barrel
• rope with some soap on it
• rose-colored glasses
• rotten tomato
• rotting cowskin
• rubber WWBBDD? bracelet
• rubber axe
• rubber baby doll
• rubber doll body
• rubber doll head
• rubber emo roe
• rubber gloves
• rubber spatula
• rum-soaked fruitcake
• rune-strewn spoon cocoon
• runny fermented egg
• runny icing
• runproof mascara
• rusty bonesaw
• rusty broken diving helmet
• rusty chain necklace
• rusty diving helmet
• rusty metal greaves
• rusty metal key
• rusty old lantern
• rusty porthole
• rusty rivet
• rusty speargun
• rusty staff
• rusty valve wheel
• rutabuga bag
• rxr shield
• s'more gun
• sabre-toothed lime cub
• sachet of strange powder
• sack of doorknobs
• safety vest
• saffron antaravasaka
• saffron uttarasanga
• salt plum
• salt plum sake
• salted mutton
• saltwaterbed
• salty drippy candy bar
• salty gumdrop
• sampler size toothpaste
• samurai turtle
• samurai turtle helmet
• sandcastle
• sandpaper
• sane hatrack
• sangria
• sangria del diablo
• sardine can key
• sauce of the ages
• sausage without a cause
• savings bond
• savory crossbow
• savory dry noodles
• savory sword
• sawblade fragment
• sawed-off blunderbuss
• scabrous seal epaulets
• scary death orb
• scepter of the Skeleton Lord
• scintillating oyster egg
• scintillating powder
• scissor duck
• scotch on the rocks
• scrap of shadow
• scrap of sticky paper
• scroll of ancient forbidden unspeakable evil
• scroll of drastic healing
• scroll of minor invulnerability
• scroll of protection from lycanthropes
• scrumptious ice ant
• sea cape
• sea cowbell
• sea cowboy hat
• sea cucumber
• sea holster
• sea jelly
• sea lasso
• sea mantle
• sea shawl
• sea-worn candlestick
• seal lube
• seal medal
• seal-blubber candle
• seal-toothed rock
• sealhide belt
• sealhide buckler
• sealhide cloak
• sealhide gloves
• sealhide hood
• sealhide leggings
• sealhide moccasins
• sealhide seal doll
• sealhide snare
• sealhide whip
• sealskin drum
• sebaceous shield
• second-hand knockoff engagement ring
• secret blend of herbs and spices
• secret from the future
• security automa-core
• security blankie
• self-repairing earmuffs
• senate fly thorax
• sentient meat mass
• sequin-encrusted sweater
• sequined fez
• serum of sarcasm
• servomechanical torsion facilitator
• set of Unobtainium straps
• set of jacks
• severed flipper
• severed rocking horse head
• sew-on bandage
• sewer nuggets
• sewer turtle
• sewer wad
• sewing kit
• shadow bread
• shadow brick
• shadow candle
• shadow candy
• shadow chef's hat
• shadow flame
• shadow fluid
• shadow glass
• shadow hammer
• shadow hot dog
• shadow ice
• shadow martini
• shadow monocle
• shadow nectar
• shadow needle
• shadow pill
• shadow sausage
• shadow sinew
• shadow skin
• shadow stick
• shadow trousers
• shadow venom
• shadowy cheat sheet
• shadowy seal eye
• shaker of dry rub
• shaking skull
• shapeless wide-brimmed hat
• shark tooth necklace
• sharkfin gumbo
• sharp tin strip
• sharpened hubcap
• shield of the Skeleton Lord
• shim of shame shale
• shimmering rainbow sand
• shin gourds
• shining star cap
• shiny brass tailfeathers
• shiny butcherknife
• shiny gold fronts
• shipwright's hammer
• shirt kit
• shock collar
• shoe ad T-shirt
• shoe gum
• shooting morning star
• shopkeeper beard
• short beer
• short glass of water
• short stack of pancakes
• short stick of butter
• short white
• shortest-order cook
• shot of Sneaky Pete's Mojo
• shot of wasp venom
• shoulder-mounted Trainbot
• shoulder-warming lotion
• shovelful of dirt
• shredded hellseal hide
• shrine to the Barrel god
• shrink-wrapped 2002 Mr. Store Catalog
• shrink-wrapped Cincho de Mayo
• shrinking powder
• shuddering cow skull
• shuddersword
• shushed potatoes
• sicksilver ring
• sicksilver spurs
• siesta-ing Casagnova gnome
• signal fragment
• signal receiver
• silent B
• silent C
• silent D
• silent E
• silent F
• silent G
• silent H
• silent I
• silent J
• silent K
• silent L
• silent M
• silent O
• silent P
• silent Q
• silent R
• silent T
• silent V
• silent W
• silent X
• silent Y
• silent Z
• silent nightlight
• silicon-infused gluteal shield
• silk garter snake
• silver Dreadsylvanian flask
• silver keg
• silver sausage
• silver shotgun shell
• silver table-scraper
• simple ancient cursed key
• single entendre
• single of Inigo's Incantation of Inspiration
• single-use dust mask
• sinister altar fragment
• sinister ancient tablet
• sinister demon mask
• sinistral homunculus
• six-armed sweater
• six-pack of New Cloaca-Cola
• sizzling desk bell
• sizzling seal fat
• skeletal scabbard
• skeleton
• skeleton beans
• skeleton skis
• skewered cherry
• skewered jumbo olive
• skewered lime
• ski resort souvenir crate
• skirt / kilt kit
• skull capacitor
• skull gearshift knob
• skull of the Bonerdagon
• skulldozer egg
• slap and slap again recipe
• sleaze cluster
• sleaze clusterbomb
• sleaze jelly
• sleaze nuggets
• sleaze powder
• sleaze wad
• sleazy and sour sauce
• sleazy fairy gravy
• sleazy hi mein
• sleeping patriotic eagle
• sleeping piano cat
• sleeping snowy owl
• sleeping wereturtle
• slicksilver ring
• slicksilver spurs
• slightly thicker filthy rags
• slime convention coupons
• slime convention swag bag
• slime fedora
• slime knuckles
• slime shooter
• slime waders
• slime-covered club
• slime-covered compass
• slime-covered greaves
• slime-covered helmet
• slime-covered lantern
• slime-covered necklace
• slime-covered shovel
• slime-covered speargun
• slime-covered staff
• slime-soaked brain
• slime-soaked hypophysis
• slime-soaked sweat gland
• slimy alveolus
• slimy chest
• slimy paste
• slimy sweetbreads
• slippery when wet shield
• slow jam collection
• small Crimbo Pressie
• small golem
• small pile of sand
• small slimy cyst
• small stone triangle
• smart watch
• smellbook
• smile-sharpening stone
• smiley-face sticker
• smoker's cloak
• smoking talon
• smoldering box
• smoldering leafcutter ant egg
• smoldering staff
• smooth mushroom wine
• smooth velvet bra
• smooth velvet hanky
• smooth velvet hat
• smooth velvet pants
• smooth velvet pocket square
• smooth velvet shirt
• smooth velvet socks
• smut orc keepsake box
• snailmail breeches
• snailmail hauberk
• snake oil
• snake skin
• snakeskin cowboy hat
• snakeskin jacket
• snakeskin thighboots
• sneakeasies
• sneaky wrapping paper
• snow belly
• snow cleats
• snow fort
• snow halo
• snow hat
• snow pants
• snowball
• snowpack
• snowstick
• sober pill
• sock monkey
• soft cap of diminishing returns
• soft green echo eyedrop antidote
• software bug
• soggy elf shoes
• soggy gingerbread chunk
• soggy wofl t-shirt
• soilzerac
• solid asbestos box
• solid baconstone earring
• solid baconstone necklace
• solid baconstone ring
• solid chrome box
• solid gold jewel
• solid linoleum box
• solid state loom
• sonar fishfinder
• sorority brain
• soul coin
• soul doorbell
• soul knife
• soul mask
• soup turtle
• souvenir flag
• soy cordial
• soyburger juice
• space beast fur
• space blanket
• space chowder
• space jam
• space jam toast
• space jellybicycle
• space junk
• space pirate treasure map
• space planula
• space trooper helmet
• space wine
• spaghetti with rock-balls
• spaghetti-box banjo
• spandex anniversary shorts
• spant backplate
• spant chitin
• spant egg casing
• spant shield
• spant shoulderpads
• spant spear
• spant tendon
• spants
• spare battery
• spark plug earring
• sparking El Vibrato drone
• sparkling orb
• sparkly engagement ring
• spearfish fishing spear
• special clip: boneburners
• special clip: graveburpers
• special clip: splatterers
• special clip: squelchers
• special clip: tracers
• special clip: wailers
• special edition Batfellow comic
• spectral axe
• spectral jelly
• speed limit shield
• spice melange
• spicy jerky stick
• spider leg
• spiky turtle shield
• spiky turtle shoulderpads
• spinal-fluid-covered emotion chip
• spirit bed
• spirit mattress
• spirit sheet
• spiritual candy cane
• splendid martini
• sponge cake
• sponge helmet
• spooky and sour sauce
• spooky bark
• spooky bindle
• spooky cluster
• spooky clusterbomb
• spooky gravy fairy warlock hat
• spooky hi mein
• spooky hockey mask
• spooky length of string
• spooky powder
• spooky rattling cigar box
• spooky sap
• spooky staff
• spooky stuffing
• spooky toy wheel
• spooky wad
• spoon!
• spring shoes
• sprinkles
• sprocket assembly
• spruce juice
• squamous polyp
• square sponge pants
• squeaky toy rose
• squirming Slime larva
• squirming egg sac
• squirmy violent party snack
• stained glass serape
• stained glass shards
• stained glass shield
• stained glass shiv
• stained glass spectacles
• stained glass stetson
• stained glass suspenders
• stained hard candy
• stained mattress
• stainless steel scarf
• stainless steel shillelagh
• stainless steel skullcap
• stainless steel slacks
• stainless steel solitaire
• stainless steel suspenders
• stale Cheer-E-Os
• stale cheer wine
• staph of homophones
• stapler bear
• star pop
• star shirt
• star spatula
• star starfish
• star throwing star
• starchy crossbow
• starchy staff
• status cymbal
• steamed oyster
• steaming evil
• steel drivin' hammer
• steel knuckles
• stench and sour sauce
• stench cluster
• stench clusterbomb
• stench jelly
• stench powder
• stench wad
• stepmom's booze
• stick of "gum"
• stick of firewood
• stick-on gnome beard
• stick-on mini solar panels
• stick-on-a-string
• sticky meat skirt
• sticky sword blade
• still grill
• still-beating spleen
• stinking agaricus
• stinkwater
• stinky cheese ball
• stinky cheese diaper
• stinky cheese eye
• stinky cheese sword
• stinky cheese wheel
• stinky fannypack
• stinky hi mein
• stolen meatpouch
• stomp box
• stone turtle
• stop shield
• strange cube
• strange helix fossil
• strange paste
• strange shiny disc
• strange stalagmite
• strange stone pyramid
• strawberyl necklace
• streetfighting champion's belt
• string of Crimbo lights
• string of blue beads
• string of green beads
• structural ember
• studded leather boxer shorts
• studded sealhide shield
• stuffed "L"
• stuffed Hodgman
• stuffed Mob Penguin
• stuffed alien blob
• stuffed bandersnatch
• stuffed can of asparagus
• stuffed carpenter
• stuffed caterpillar
• stuffed club
• stuffed dinosaur
• stuffed dodecapede
• stuffed dodo
• stuffed doppelshifter
• stuffed ghuol whelp
• stuffed gray blob
• stuffed kraken
• stuffed ninja snowman
• stuffed pocketwatch
• stuffed porpoise
• stuffed red and green pepper (stale)
• stuffed sabre-toothed lime
• stuffed stab bat
• stuffed walrus
• stuffed yam stinkbomb
• stuffed yeti
• stuffed yo-yo
• stuffed zmobie
• stuffed-shirt scarecrow
• stuffing fluffer
• sturdy sword hilt
• styrofoam crossbow
• styrofoam peanuts
• styrofoam staff
• sub-molecular interocitor
• subscription cocoa dispenser
• sucker scaffold
• sugar bunny
• sugar chapeau
• sugar cherry
• sugar fairy
• sugar raygun
• sugar shank
• sugar shillelagh
• sugar shirt
• sugar shorts
• sugar shotgun
• sugar-coated pine cone
• sugarplum ration
• suggestive strozzapreti
• sundae ration
• super good fruit
• super-heated leaf
• super-strong air freshener
• super-sweet boom box
• super-sweet fish goo (spoiled)
• superduperball
• superhero mask
• support cummerbund
• supportive bra
• surgical tape
• surprisingly capacious handbag
• sushi doily
• sushi-rolling mat
• suspicious package
• suspicious stocking
• suspicious-looking fedora
• swamp haunch
• sweat-ade
• sweaty balsam
• sweet nutcracker
• sweet party mix
• sweet potato o' mine
• sweet potato punch
• sweet rims
• sweet roll Alabama
• sweet tooth
• sweetened reindeer fat
• synaptic soup
• syncopated turtle
• synthetic dog hair pill
• synthetic rock
• tabletop candy dispenser
• tail o' nine cats
• tailbone shield
• talisman of Seshat
• talkative skull
• talking spade
• tangle of copper wire
• tapped black lotus
• targeting chip
• tarnished luggage key
• tarnished metal ring
• tarnished metal rod
• tarrrnish charrrm
• tarrrnished charrrm bracelet
• tasket
• tasteful black bow tie
• tasty tart
• tattered paper crown
• tattered scrap of paper
• tattoo gun
• teacher's pen
• tearaway pants
• teddy bear
• teddy bear sewing kit
• teddy borg
• teddy borg sewing kit
• teeny-tiny magic scroll
• teflon shield
• teflon spatula
• teflon swim fins
• temperance whiskey
• temporary X tattoos
• temporary yak tattoo
• tempura air
• tempura avocado
• tempura broccoli
• tempura carrot
• tempura green and red bean
• terra cotta tambourine
• terra cotta tidbits
• terra cotta tie tack
• terra cotta tongs
• terra cotta train
• terra cotta trousers
• terra cotta truss
• terra panna cotta
• testy toolbox
• thanksgiving bomb
• the Archwizard's briefs
• the Crymbich Manuscript
• the Crymbich Manuscript (used)
• the Ley Incursion's waist
• the finger
• thermos of "whiskey"
• thermos of brew
• thick walrus blubber
• thicksilver ring
• thicksilver spurs
• thin black candle
• thin gold wire
• third ear
• third-hand lantern
• thought balloon
• three-tiered wedding cake
• thriftshop coupon
• throbbing rage gland
• throwin' ember
• throwing bone
• throwing wrench
• ticksilver ring
• ticksilver spurs
• tie-dye headband
• tie-dyed fannypack
• tied-up flaming leaflet
• tied-up flaming monstera
• tied-up leaviathan
• time helmet
• time shuriken
• time sleigh
• time sword
• time trousers
• time's arrow
• time-twitching toolbelt
• tin cup
• tin drum
• tin foil
• tin rations
• tin roof (rusted)
• tin snips
• tin star
• tin tam
• tin thermos of chai
• tinsel fin
• tinsel orb
• tiny Tina gun
• tiny baby scorpion
• tiny ballet slippers
• tiny balloon knife
• tiny black hole
• tiny bomb
• tiny bust of Pallas
• tiny cell phone
• tiny consolation ribbon
• tiny costume wardrobe
• tiny die-cast Sleepy the Reindeer
• tiny do-rag
• tiny domino mask
• tiny ember
• tiny fly glasses
• tiny frozen prehistoric meteorite jawbreaker
• tiny goth giant
• tiny handful of mixed nuts
• tiny knife and fork
• tiny makeup kit
• tiny maracas
• tiny nose-bone fetish
• tiny plastic 11 Dealer
• tiny plastic Abuela Crimbo
• tiny plastic Abuela's cottage
• tiny plastic Armory
• tiny plastic Bar
• tiny plastic Battlesuit Bugbear Type
• tiny plastic Beebee King
• tiny plastic Best Game Ever
• tiny plastic Boris
• tiny plastic Bugbear Captain
• tiny plastic CRIMBCO HQ
• tiny plastic Café Elf
• tiny plastic Cafe
• tiny plastic Captain Kerkard
• tiny plastic Charity the Zombie Hunter
• tiny plastic Cheer Core
• tiny plastic Clancy the Minstrel
• tiny plastic Crimbo Casino
• tiny plastic Crimbo caroler
• tiny plastic Crimbo cheer
• tiny plastic Crimbo elf
• tiny plastic Crimbo wreath
• tiny plastic Crimbomination
• tiny plastic Crimboween pentagram
• tiny plastic Dolph Bossin
• tiny plastic Don Crimbo
• tiny plastic Dr. Awkward
• tiny plastic Ed the Undying
• tiny plastic Factory
• tiny plastic Father McGruber
• tiny plastic Gaia'ajh-dsli Ak'lwej
• tiny plastic Gary Claybender
• tiny plastic Hank North, Photojournalist
• tiny plastic Jared the Duskwalker
• tiny plastic Jarlsberg
• tiny plastic Lord Spookyraven
• tiny plastic Mer-kin baker
• tiny plastic Mirth
• tiny plastic Mob Penguin
• tiny plastic Mr. Mination
• tiny plastic Naughty Sorceress
• tiny plastic Norville Rogers
• tiny plastic Penny
• tiny plastic Professor What
• tiny plastic Queen Bee
• tiny plastic Rene C. Corman
• tiny plastic Scott the Miner
• tiny plastic Scream Queen
• tiny plastic Sneaky Pete
• tiny plastic Susie
• tiny plastic The Silent Nightmare
• tiny plastic Uncle Crimbo
• tiny plastic Wu Tang the Betrayer
• tiny plastic XXX pr0n
• tiny plastic ancient yuletide troll
• tiny plastic angry space marine
• tiny plastic batbugbear
• tiny plastic bee swarm
• tiny plastic beebee queue
• tiny plastic black ops bugbear
• tiny plastic blazing bat
• tiny plastic blood-faced volleyball
• tiny plastic bugaboo
• tiny plastic buzzerker
• tiny plastic caboose
• tiny plastic cavebugbear
• tiny plastic chem lab
• tiny plastic coal car
• tiny plastic dining car
• tiny plastic dolphin "orphan"
• tiny plastic fat stack of cash
• tiny plastic fax machine
• tiny plastic fire servant
• tiny plastic food lab
• tiny plastic four-shadowed mime
• tiny plastic gift-wrapping vampire
• tiny plastic golden gundam
• tiny plastic hobo elf
• tiny plastic hypodermic bugbear
• tiny plastic locomotive
• tiny plastic mime executive
• tiny plastic mime functionary
• tiny plastic mime scientist
• tiny plastic mime soldier
• tiny plastic moneybee
• tiny plastic multi-level marketer
• tiny plastic mumblebee
• tiny plastic mutant elf
• tiny plastic nog lab
• tiny plastic orphan
• tiny plastic passenger car
• tiny plastic peacannon
• tiny plastic primary lab
• tiny plastic protector spectre
• tiny plastic reindeer
• tiny plastic sea elf
• tiny plastic semi-autonomous drill unit
• tiny plastic skeletal reindeer
• tiny plastic spiderbugbear
• tiny plastic spoiler
• tiny plastic stocking mimic
• tiny plastic strand of DNA
• tiny plastic sweet nutcracker
• tiny plastic sword
• tiny plastic the Free Man
• tiny plastic wild beaver
• tiny plastic yuleviathan
• tiny prop sword
• tiny sombrero
• tiny stillsuit
• tiny top hat and cane
• tisket
• toast with stench jelly
• toe jam
• toe jam toast
• tofurkey nugget
• toggle switch (Bartend)
• toggle switch (Bounce)
• tomato soup poster
• tomb ratchet
• tonguebone
• tonic o' Banderas
• tooth
• tooth cap
• toothbrush
• toothsome rock
• toothy trousers
• top
• topiary noseplugs
• topiary nugglet
• topiary skunk
• topiary tights
• torn hellseal sinew
• torquoise
• torquoise ring
• tortoboggan shield
• tortoise's blessing
• toxic globule
• toxo
• toy Crimbot mega face
• toy Crimbot power glove
• toy Crimbot rocket legs
• toy Crimbot super fist
• toy crazy train
• toy deathbot
• toy jet pack
• toy maglev monorail
• toy mercenary
• toy ray gun
• toy sixgun
• toy soldier
• toy space helmet
• toy taijijian
• toy train
• traditional Crimbo cookie
• traffic jam
• traffic jam toast
• train whistle
• training scroll: Shattering Punch
• training scroll: Snokebomb
• trampled ticket stub
• transdermal smoke patch
• transparent nog
• transparent pants
• transporter transponder
• tree skirt
• tree-shaped Crimbo cookie
• trench coat
• trench lighter
• triad summoning scroll
• trick coin
• trilobite candy mold
• trilobite fossil
• triple barreled barrel gun
• tropical Crimbo pressie
• tropical island souvenir crate
• tropical paperweight
• tropical wrapping paper
• trousers of the white knight
• trout fang
• troutpiece
• trusty torch
• tryptophan dart
• tube of hair oil
• tube of herbal ointment
• tube sock
• tulip
• tuning fork
• turtle mud
• turtle wax greaves
• turtle wax helmet
• turtlemail hauberk
• turtling rod
• tuxedo shirt
• twice-haunted screwdriver
• twinkly wad
• twist of lime
• twisted piece of wire
• twitching claw
• twitching space egg
• twitching time capsule
• twitching trigger finger
• two meat muck
• ultimate ultimate frisbee
• ultimate wad
• ultra-soft ferns
• ultracalcium
• unbreakable umbrella
• uncanny desk bell
• uncapped blue lava bottle
• uncapped green lava bottle
• uncapped red lava bottle
• undamaged Unbreakable Umbrella
• undissolvable contact lenses
• undrilled cosmic bowling ball
• unearthed potsherd
• unearthed volcanic meteoroid
• unemployed hunchbacked minion
• unevolved organism
• unfinished fruitcake
• unfinished ice sculpture
• unfinished pleasure
• uniclops egg
• unidentifiable dried fruit
• universal biscuit
• unlocked meat locker
• unoccupied sheep suit
• unopened Bird-a-Day calendar
• unopened diabolic pizza cube box
• unopened tiny stillsuit
• unpowered Robortender
• unremarkable duffel bag
• unsmoothed velvet
• unspeakable lozenges
• unstable DNA
• unstable laser battery
• untorn tearaway pants package
• unusual oil
• unwound clockwork grapefruit
• unwound cymbal-playing monkey
• unwound mechanical songbird
• unwrapped knock-off retro superhero cape
• urchin roe
• urinal cake
• valuable trinket
• vampagne
• vampire glitter
• vampire pearl earring
• vampire pearl necklace
• vampire pearl ring
• vampire pellet
• vampyric cloake
• vampyric cloake pattern
• van key
• vanilla-frosted king cake
• velcro broadsword
• velcro ore
• velcro paddle ball
• velcro shield
• velour valise
• velour vambraces
• velour vaqueros
• velour veil
• velour veneer
• velour viscometer
• velour voulge
• velvet choker
• vengeful spirit
• very large caltrop
• very overdue library book
• very small red dress
• vesper
• vial of Gnomochloric acid
• vial of hot blood
• vial of humanoid growth hormone
• vibrating cyborg knife
• vicious spiked collar
• villainous scythe
• vintage smart drink
• vinyl boots
• vinyl ore
• vinyl shield
• virgin jello shot
• vitachoconutriment capsule
• vitamin G pill
• vodka barracuda
• void burger
• void lager
• void shard
• void stone
• volcanic ash
• volleyball
• voodoo doll
• voodoo snuff
• voter registration form
• votive candle
• votive of confidence
• wad of Crovacite
• wad of cotton
• wad of spider silk
• waders
• waffle
• walkie-talkie
• walrus ice cream
• walrus-tusk earring
• wand of fudge control
• warbear LP-ROM burner
• warbear auto-anvil
• warbear badge
• warbear battery
• warbear battle greaves
• warbear bearserker greaves
• warbear bearserker mead
• warbear bearserker potion
• warbear beeping telegram
• warbear black box
• warbear blizzard mead
• warbear breakfast machine
• warbear breakfast machine assembler
• warbear ceremonial party pants
• warbear chemistry lab
• warbear dress bracers
• warbear dress greaves
• warbear dress helmet
• warbear drone assembler
• warbear drone codes
• warbear electric long johns
• warbear electric warscarf
• warbear electro-spiked helm
• warbear empathy chip
• warbear empathy chip (used)
• warbear energy bracers
• warbear exhaust manifold
• warbear exo-arm
• warbear fancy fedora
• warbear feathered fedora
• warbear fleece-lined long johns
• warbear fleece-lined warscarf
• warbear foil hat
• warbear gyrocopter
• warbear heated ushanka
• warbear high festival pants
• warbear high-efficiency still
• warbear hoverbelt
• warbear hoverbelt piecepart
• warbear induction oven
• warbear jackhammer drill press
• warbear laser beacon
• warbear lined ushanka
• warbear liquid lasers
• warbear liquid overcoat
• warbear long johns
• warbear metalworking primer
• warbear nuclear bowtie
• warbear officer greaves
• warbear oil pan
• warbear party pants
• warbear plain helm
• warbear plain ushanka
• warbear plasma bowtie
• warbear polarized goggles
• warbear procedural hilarity drone
• warbear rejuvenation potion
• warbear robo-camouflage unit
• warbear sequential gaiety distribution system
• warbear snowblindness goggles
• warbear soda machine
• warbear soda machine assembler
• warbear spiked helm
• warbear thermoregulator bread
• warbear trouser fragment
• warbear wardance potion
• warbear warrior bread
• warbear warscarf
• warbear whosit
• wardrobe-o-matic
• warm El Vibrato drone
• warm fur
• warm war shawarma
• wasabi marble soda
• washboard shield
• water balloon
• water wings
• water wings for babies
• water-polo cap
• water-polo mitt
• waterlogged bootstraps
• waterlogged cloth
• waterlogged crate
• waterlogged leather
• waterlogged metal
• waterlogged stuffing
• waterlogged wood
• watermelon
• watermelon seed
• wax banana
• wax booze
• wax face
• wax hand
• wax lips
• wax pants
• weasel stomping pants
• webbed comic mask
• wedge of gray cheese
• weedy skirt
• weegee sqouija
• western-style skinning knife
• wet tack
• whale cerebrospinal fluid
• whalecake
• whalegun
• whalesteak
• wheel
• wheel of camembert
• whet stone
• whip kit
• whirled peas
• whisker pencil
• white Crimbo ball
• white Dreadsylvanian
• white arm towel
• white balloon
• white belt
• white candygram
• white class ring
• white earbuds
• white elephant gift
• white money bag
• white snakeskin duster
• white wine
• white-label gin
• wholeberd
• whoopie cushion
• wicker clicker
• wicker kickers
• wicker knickers
• wicker slicker
• wicker sticker
• wickerbits
• wicksilver ring
• wicksilver spurs
• wind-up chattering teeth
• windicle
• wine-soaked bone chips
• wings of fire
• witch hat
• wizard action figure
• woim
• woimbook
• wok lobster
• wolfman mask
• wolfskull mask
• wooden axe
• wooden figurine
• wooden salad bowl
• wooden spoon
• woolen cravat
• worksite credentials
• world's most unappetizing beverage
• wormwood stick
• wormwood wedding ring
• worthless gewgaw
• worthless knick-knack
• worthless trinket
• woven baling wire bracelets
• wrapped candy cane sword cane
• wrapping paper
• wreath of laurels
• wreath-shaped Crimbo cookie
• wriggling severed nose
• wriggling tentacle
• writhing drippy candy bar
• wrought-iron flakes
• wrought-iron waders
• wrought-iron walker
• wrought-iron whisk
• wrought-iron widget
• wrought-iron wig
• wrought-iron winch crank
• wumpus hair
• wumpus-hair bolo
• wumpus-hair loincloth
• wumpus-hair net
• wumpus-hair sweater
• wumpus-hair whip
• wumpus-hair wig
• x-ray specs
• xo-skeleton-in-a-box
• yak skin
• yak toupee
• yak whip
• yakskin buckler
• yakskin kilt
• yakskin pants
• yakskin skirt
• yam
• yam and swiss
• yam battery
• yam burrito
• yam martini
• yam mayo
• yam slider
• ye olde golde frontes
• yellow candygram
• yellow glowstick
• yellow matter custard
• yellow pixel potion
• yellow plastic oyster egg
• yellow polka-dot oyster egg
• yellow puck
• yellow puck with a bow on it
• yellow rocket
• yellow seashell
• yellow snowcone
• yellow striped oyster egg
• yellow traffic cone
• yeti fur
• yield shield
• yo-yo
• your own black heart
• yule grog
• yule gruel
• yule hatchet
• yule pup
• yuletide troll chrysalis
• zen motorcycle
• zombie accordion
• zombie dinosaur egg
• zombie mariachi hat
• zombie mariachi pants
• zombie monkey necklace
• zombie pineal gland