This is a thin strip of cloth that you knot around your neck. It's useful because it keeps your neck warm -- oh, wait, it's too thin and too low-slung to do that. Um. It's useful because it covers up your nipples, which -- no, it's too narrow to do that. It's useful because you can wipe your mouth with it after you eat, provided you haven't accidentally dipped it in your soup already.

Still, if you knot it tight enough, the painful rictus on your face could almost pass for a smile.