In their foolhardy quest to collect every item, this player comes 5,666 short.

• Franken Stein
• "DEBBIE" tattoo kit
• "Humorous" T-shirt
• "I survived Y2K" T-Shirt
• "Remember the Trees" Shirt
• "honey" dipper
• 'Villa' document
• 1 Meat
• 1.21 jigawatts
• 1/6th Pound Cake
• 100-Watt bulb
• 17-ball
• 18-picohertz resonator crystal
• 20-lb can of rice and beans
• 2002 Mr. Store Catalog
• 25-meat staff
• 4-dimensional fez
• 4:20 bomb
• 7-inch discus
• 8-billed baseball cap
• 8-bit banana
• 99.44% pure math
• A Beginner's Guide to Charming Snakes
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 1
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 1 (used)
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 2
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 2 (used)
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 3
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 3 (used)
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 4
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 4 (used)
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 5
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 5 (used)
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 6
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 6 (used)
• A Guide to Burning Leaves
• A Guide to Safari
• A Light that Never Goes Out
• A. W. O. L. commendation
• ASCII fu manchu
• Abuela Crimbo's special magnet
• Abyssal ember
• Acqua Del Piatto Merlot
• Acque Luride Grezze Cabernet
• Admiral's hat
• Adventurer bobblehead
• Adventurer's Kit
• Affirmation Cookie
• Agent Mauve
• Aggressive Carrot
• Aiolion
• Aldebaran sardines
• Alice's Army Alchemist
• Alice's Army Bowman
• Alice's Army Coward
• Alice's Army Dervish
• Alice's Army Foil Alchemist
• Alice's Army Foil Bowman
• Alice's Army Foil Cleric
• Alice's Army Foil Coward
• Alice's Army Foil Dervish
• Alice's Army Foil Guard
• Alice's Army Foil Halberder
• Alice's Army Foil Hammerman
• Alice's Army Foil Horseman
• Alice's Army Foil Lanceman
• Alice's Army Foil Mad Bomber
• Alice's Army Foil Martyr
• Alice's Army Foil Ninja
• Alice's Army Foil Nurse
• Alice's Army Foil Page
• Alice's Army Foil Shieldmaiden
• Alice's Army Foil Sniper
• Alice's Army Foil Spearsman
• Alice's Army Foil Swordsman
• Alice's Army Foil Wallman
• Alice's Army Foil tattoo
• Alice's Army Horseman
• Alice's Army Martyr
• Alice's Army Ninja
• Alice's Army Sniper
• Alice's Army booster box
• All-Hallow's Steve's fright wig
• Amanitee
• Ambitious Turkey
• Amoon-Ra Cowtep's nemes
• Amulet of Perpetual Darkness
• Amulet of Yendor
• Anniversary Miniature Sword & Martini Guy
• Annual Ascot
• Antagonistic Snowman Kit
• Apathargic Bandersnatch
• Apriling band helmet
• Ascension Souvenir T-Shirt
• Asdon Martin keyfob (on ring)
• Ass-Stompers of Violence
• Atomic Comic
• Atomic Pop
• Aura Libre
• Autobiography Of Dynamite Superman Jones (used)
• AutumnFest ale
• Ax of L'rose
• Aye Aye
• Aye Aye, Captain
• BGE 'cuddly critter' shirt
• BGE 'ferocious fruit' shirt
• BGE merchandise order form
• BGE pocket calendar
• BGE shotglass
• BGE temporary tattoo
• BOOtonniere
• BRAINS shorts
• BRICKO airship
• BRICKO cathedral
• BRICKO egg
• BRICKO elephant
• BRICKO gargantuchicken
• BRICKO octopus
• BRICKO pyramid
• BRICKO python
• BRICKO stud
• BRICKO trunk
• BRICKO vacuum cleaner
• BROS Energy Drink
• BUBBLE GUM
• Bag o' Tricks
• Bal-musette accordion
• Bandolier of the Spaghetti Elemental
• Banfoy's Boutique Order Form
• Bangyomaman battle juice
• Barney's rake
• Baron von Ratsworth's money clip
• Baron von Ratsworth's tophat
• Bartles and BRAAAINS wine cooler
• Bash-Ōs boxtop
• Bastille Battalion Fondue Trophy
• Bastille Battalion control rig
• Bastille Battalion control rig crate
• Bastille Battalion control rig loaner voucher
• Bastille Battalion tattoo kit
• Batfellow comic
• Beach Buck
• Beach Comb
• Beach Comb Box
• Bee's Knees
• Beignet Milgranet
• Belt of Loathing
• Better Shrooms and Gardens catalog
• Better Than Cuddling Cake
• Bicycle
• Big Candy's tophat
• Big Punk
• Bigger Bugfinder Blade
• Bird-a-Day calendar
• BittyCar HotCar
• BittyCar MeatCar
• BittyCar SoulCar
• Black Bart's Booty
• Black Body™ spray
• Black Hole
• Black and White Apron Enrollment Form
• Black and White Apron Meal Kit
• Bling of the New Wave
• Blood 'n' Plenty
• Blood Light
• Bloodbath
• Bluzzard
• Bodacious MechaElf Hunter Saga:Relay Wolf
• Bohemian rhapsody
• Boltsmann ID badge
• Bone's Farm "wine"
• Bonestabber
• Book of Old-Timey Carols
• Booke of Vampyric Knowledge
• Boosty Juice
• Bordeaux Marteaux
• Boris's Helm
• Boris's Helm (askew)
• Boris's beer
• Boris's bread
• Boss Drops
• Bowl of Infinite Jelly
• Bowlet
• Boxing Day Pass
• Boxing Day care package
• Bram's choker
• Brand of Violence
• Breathitin™
• Bright Water
• Brimstone Beret
• Brimstone Bludgeon
• Brimstone Boxers
• Brimstone Bracelet
• Brimstone Brooch
• Brimstone Bunker
• Brogre brolo shirt
• Brogre brorts
• Brogre bucket hat
• Buddy Bjorn
• Bugfinder Blade
• Build-a-City Gingerbread kit
• Bulky Buddy Box
• Buttery Boy
• Byte
• CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 2)
• CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 3)
• CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 4)
• CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 5)
• CRIMBCO lanyard
• CRIMBCO scrip
• CRIMBCOLOAF
• CSA discount card
• CSA obedience grenade
• Caipiranha
• Cajun accordion
• Calzone of Legend
• Camp Scout backpack
• Can of Spaghetto
• Can-Can skirt
• Candicaine
• Candy Alexander
• Cantelope
• Caramel
• Cargo Cultist Shorts
• Carol of the Bulls
• Carol of the Bulls (used)
• Carol of the Hells
• Carol of the Hells (used)
• Carol of the Thrills
• Carol of the Thrills (used)
• Carpathian longsword
• Carpricorn
• Cat-Herding Prod
• Caveman Dan's favorite rock
• Celsius 233
• Cement Mixer
• Centauri fish wine
• Cerebral Cloche
• Cerebral Crossbow
• Cerebral Culottes
• Chakra Libre
• Chalice of the Malkovich Prince
• Champagne Shimmy
• Charleston Choo-Choo
• Charleston shoes
• Chateau Mantegna room key
• Ched
• Chef Boy, R&D's business card
• Cheshire Bitten
• Chester's Aquarius medallion
• Chester's bag of candy
• Chester's cutoffs
• Chester's moustache
• Chester's muscle shirt
• Chester's sunglasses
• ChibiBuddy™ (off)
• ChibiBuddy™ (on)
• Children's Meal of the Damned
• Choker of the Ultragoth
• Chorale of Companionship
• Christmas ham
• Chroner cross
• Chroner trigger
• Cincho de Mayo
• Cinco Mayo Lager
• Clan Carnival Game
• Clan Floundry
• Clan VIP Lounge invitation
• Clan VIP Lounge key
• Clan hot dog stand
• Clan looking glass
• Clan pool table
• Clan shower
• Clan speakeasy
• Clara's bell
• Climate Colada
• Cobra Bowl
• Cocktails of the Age of Sail
• Cocktails of the Age of Sail (used)
• Codex of Capsaicin Conjuration
• Coily™
• Cold Fang
• Colera Peste Nebbiolo
• Comet Drop
• Comma Chameleon egg
• Comprehensive Cartographic Compendium
• Comprehensive Cartographic Compendium (well-read)
• Congressional Medal of Insanity
• Connery's Elixir of Audacity
• Conspiracy™ mascara
• Convincing People You Can See The Future
• Cookbook of the Damned
• Copper Alpha of Sincerity
• Cornbeefadon
• Cosmic Calorie
• Counterclockwise Watch
• Covert Ops for Kids
• Covert Ops for Kids (used)
• Crepes a la Lune
• Crimbo Carol tattoo kit
• Crimbo Cheer tattoo kit
• Crimbo Commerce tattoo kit
• Crimbo Elf creepy bobble-head
• Crimbo P. R. E. S. S. I. E.
• Crimbo bottomless hot cocoa mug
• Crimbo candle
• Crimbo dinner
• Crimbo dog sweater
• Crimbo hat
• Crimbo light-up Rudolph doll
• Crimbo pants
• Crimbo paste
• Crimbo pressie
• Crimbo sapling
• Crimbo stocking
• Crimbo stockings
• Crimbo stogie-scented room odorizer
• Crimbo sword
• Crimbo tattoo kit
• Crimbo training manual
• Crimbo tree flocker
• Crimbo ukulele
• Crimbolex watch
• Crimbosmopolitan
• Crimbot ROM: Mathematical Precision
• Crimbot ROM: Rapid Prototyping
• Crimbot ROM: Ruthless Efficiency
• Crimbot schematic: Big Head
• Crimbot schematic: Big Wheel
• Crimbot schematic: Bug Zapper
• Crimbot schematic: Camera Claw
• Crimbot schematic: Cyclopean Torso
• Crimbot schematic: Data Analyzer
• Crimbot schematic: Gun Face
• Crimbot schematic: Heavy Treads
• Crimbot schematic: Heavy-Duty Legs
• Crimbot schematic: Hoverjack
• Crimbot schematic: Lamp Filler
• Crimbot schematic: Mega Vise
• Crimbot schematic: Power Arm
• Crimbot schematic: Power Stapler
• Crimbot schematic: Refrigerator Chassis
• Crimbot schematic: Ribbon Manipulator
• Crimbot schematic: Rocket Skirt
• Crimbot schematic: Rollerfeet
• Crimbot schematic: Snow Blower
• Crimbot schematic: Swiss Arm
• Crimbot schematic: Tripod Legs
• Crimbot schematic: Wrecking Ball
• Crimbough
• Crimbow Rainbo
• Crimboween memo
• Crimboysters Rockefeller
• Crimbuccaneer breeches
• Crimbuccaneer fledges (disintegrating)
• Crimbuccaneer fledges (mint)
• Crimbuccaneer invasion map
• Crimbuccaneer lantern
• Crimbuccaneer mologrog cocktail
• Crimbuccaneer premium booty sack
• Crimbuccaneer runebone
• Crimbuccaneer tavern swab
• Crimbuccaneer tricorn
• Crimbuccaneer whale oil
• Crimbylow-rise jeans
• Crown of Thrones
• Cycloney
• DIY protonic accelerator kit
• DNOTC Box
• Dad's brandy
• Daisy's unclean bloomers
• Dallas Dynasty Falcon Crest shield
• Dark & Starry
• Dark Jill-O-Lantern
• Dark Jill-of-All-Trades
• Daylight Shavings Helmet
• Deactivated MiniMechaElf
• Deactivated O. A. F.
• Dear Past Self Package
• Deck of Every Card
• Deep Dish of Legend
• Diamond HP-35 Calculator
• Dinsey Maintenance Manual
• Dinsey Whinskey
• Dinsey face paint
• Dinsey food-cone
• Dinsey tattoo kit
• Dinsey's brain
• Dinsey's glove
• Dinsey's oculus
• Dinsey's pants
• Dinsey's pizza cutter
• Dinsey's radar dish
• Discontent™ Winter Garden Catalog
• Discount Telescope Warehouse gift certificate
• Disgeist
• Dish of Clarified Butter
• Distant Woods Getaway Brochure
• Doc Clock's thyme cocktail
• Doc's Fortifying Wine
• Doc's Limbering Wine
• Doc's Medical-Grade Wine
• Doc's Miracle Cure
• Doc's Smartifying Wine
• Doc's Special Reserve Wine
• Doll Moll violin case
• Dolph Bossin's charity note
• Doublepunchplanter
• Drac & Tan
• Dragonscale breastplate
• Drapes-You-Regally
• Dreadsylvania Auditor's badge
• Dreadsylvanian clockwork key
• Dreadsylvanian cold pocket
• Dreadsylvanian cold-fashioned
• Dreadsylvanian dank and stormy
• Dreadsylvanian grimlet
• Dreadsylvanian hemlock
• Dreadsylvanian hot pocket
• Dreadsylvanian hot toddy
• Dreadsylvanian seed pod
• Dreadsylvanian shepherd's pie
• Dreadsylvanian skeleton key
• Dreadsylvanian sleaze pocket
• Dreadsylvanian slithery nipple
• Dreadsylvanian spooky pocket
• Dreadsylvanian stew
• Dreadsylvanian stink pocket
• Dressage
• Drip Institute petri dish
• Drip harness
• Driplet
• Dripwood slab
• Drunk Uncles holo-record
• Drunken Astrophysicist
• Drunken Neurologist
• Drunken Philosopher
• Drunkula's bell
• Drunkula's cape
• Drunkula's ring of haze
• Drunkula's silky pants
• Drunkula's wineglass
• Duke Vampire's regal cloak
• Dungeon Fist gauntlet
• Dweebisol™ inhaler
• Dyspepsi-Cola helmet
• Dyspepsi-Cola knapsack
• Earring of Fire
• Earth, Wind and Firewater
• Easter eggnog
• Ecto-Cooler
• Ed the Undying exhibit crate
• Egnaro berry
• Eight Days a Week Pill Keeper
• El Vibrato Megadrone
• El Vibrato drone
• El Vibrato energy spear
• El Vibrato helmet
• El Vibrato leg guards
• El Vibrato power sphere
• El Vibrato punchcard (104 holes)
• El Vibrato punchcard (115 holes)
• El Vibrato punchcard (165 holes)
• El Vibrato punchcard (182 holes)
• El Vibrato punchcard (213 holes)
• El Vibrato restraints
• El Vibrato translator
• El Vibrato trapezoid
• Eldritch Intellect: Journey into a Mind of Horror
• Eldritch snap
• Electric Punch
• Elf Farm Raffle ticket
• Elf Guard Field Manual: Culinary Arts
• Elf Guard Field Manual: Culinary Arts (used)
• Elf Guard Field Manual: Extortion (used)
• Elf Guard Field Manual: Wilderness Sleeping
• Elf Guard Field Manual: Wilderness Sleeping (used)
• Elf Guard SCUBA tank
• Elf Guard broom
• Elf Guard clipboard
• Elf Guard fuel tank
• Elf Guard hangover cure
• Elf Guard honor present
• Elf Guard hotpants
• Elf Guard insignia (general)
• Elf Guard insignia (private)
• Elf Guard patrol cap
• Elf Guard payroll bag
• Elf Guard red and white beret
• Elf Guard safety bear
• Elf Guard temporary (permanent) tattoo
• Elfin shortbread
• Ellsbury's journal
• Ellsbury's skull
• Elron's Explosive Etude
• Elvish sunglasses
• Elvish underarmor
• Emblem of Ak'gyxoth
• En Una Fila Tequila
• Enchanted Flyswatter
• Enchanted Plunger
• Engorged Sausages and You
• Essence of Annoyance
• Essence of Bear
• Event Horizon
• Everfull Dart Holster
• Everlasting Deckswabber
• Extra-slimy Slimosa
• Extrovermectin™
• FDKOL commendation
• FDKOL fire hose
• FDKOL hotcakes
• FDKOL tattoo
• Fancy Jeff's fancy pocket square
• Fantasma en la Máquina
• FantasyRealm mead
• FantasyRealm membership packet
• FantasyRealm tattoo kit
• FantasyRealm turkey leg
• Fauna Libre
• Faux
• Feliz Navidad
• Ferita Del Petto Zinfandel
• Feynman gate
• Field Guide to Skeletal Anatomy
• Field Guide to Skeletal Anatomy (shredded)
• Firewater
• First Post shirt - Cir Senam
• First Post shirt package
• Five Second Energy™
• Flag by the Foot™
• Flaming Caipiranha
• Flaming Knob
• Flaming Mohobo
• Flaming Sazerorc
• Flan
• Flan in the Moon
• Fleshazole™
• Flivver
• Fly-By-Knight Heraldry form
• Flying Caipiranha
• Fog Murderer
• Folder Holder
• Former Sheriff Dan's tin star
• Fourth of May Cosplay Saber
• Fourth of May Cosplay Saber kit
• Frank Gorshin trophy
• Frankly Mr. Shank
• Freddie's blessing of Mercury
• French bronilla brogurt
• French slippers
• French-Transylvanian Dictionary
• Frost™ brand sword
• Frosty's arm
• Frosty's carrot
• Frosty's frosty mug
• Frosty's iceball
• Frosty's nailbat
• Frosty's old silk hat
• Frosty's snowball sack
• Frown Exerciser
• Fudgie Roll
• Fuzzby
• Fuzzy Slippers of Hatred
• Fuzzy Tentacle
• Gabarbar
• Galapagosian Cuisses
• Game Grid valued membership card
• GameInformPowerDailyPro subscription card
• Garland of Greatness
• Garter of the Turtle Poacher
• Gathered Meat-Clip
• Gazelleton
• Gazpacho's Glacial Grimoire
• Gene Tonic: Beast
• Gene Tonic: Constellation
• Gene Tonic: Construct
• Gene Tonic: Demon
• Gene Tonic: Dude
• Gene Tonic: Elemental
• Gene Tonic: Elf
• Gene Tonic: Fish
• Gene Tonic: Goblin
• Gene Tonic: Hippy
• Gene Tonic: Humanoid
• Gene Tonic: Insect
• Gene Tonic: Mer-kin
• Gene Tonic: Orc
• Gene Tonic: Penguin
• Gene Tonic: Pirate
• Gene Tonic: Plant
• General Assembly Module
• Gets-You-Drunk
• Ghiaccio Colada
• Ghosprey
• Ghost Pinching Quarterly
• Ginsu™
• Girdle of Hatred
• Glamare
• Glenn's golden dice
• Globmule
• Gnomish sagngria
• Gnomish toolbox
• Gnomitronic Hyperspatial Demodulizer
• God Lobster Egg
• Goggles of Loathing
• Gold Velvet™ whiskey
• Golden HP-35 Calculator
• Golden Kokomo Resort Chip
• Golden Light
• Golden Mr. Accessory
• Golden Mr. Eh?
• Good 'n' Slimy
• Gordon Beer's Beer Garden Catalog
• Gorillape
• Granny Hackleton's Gatling gun
• Granny Tood's Thanksgarden Catalog
• Grasshopper
• Gratitude chocolate (Meat-filled)
• Gratitude chocolate (bourbon-filled)
• Gratitude chocolate (octopus-filled)
• Gratitude chocolate (thyme-filled)
• Gravyskin Belt of the Sauceblob
• Great Ball of Frozen Fire
• Great S-Cape
• Great Wolf's beastly trousers
• Great Wolf's headband
• Great Wolf's left paw
• Great Wolf's lice
• Great Wolf's right paw
• Great Wolf's rocket launcher
• Greatest American Pants
• Green Giant
• Green Muslin
• Gregarious Gregorian Smock
• Grey Guanon
• Grim Brothers' story book
• Grimacite Bock
• Grimacite gaiters
• Grimacite galoshes
• Grimacite garter
• Grimacite gasmask
• Grimacite gat
• Grimacite gauntlets
• Grimacite girdle
• Grimacite glaive
• Grimacite go-go boots
• Grimacite goggles
• Grimacite gorget
• Grimacite gown
• Grimacite greaves
• Grimacite guayabera
• Grumpy Bumpkin's Pumpkin Seed Catalog
• Gummi-Memory
• Gummy Brains
• Guzzlr application
• Guzzlr cocktail set
• Guzzlr hat
• Guzzlr pants
• Guzzlr shoes
• Guzzlr souvenir stein
• Guzzlr tablet
• Guzzlr tattoo kit
• Guzzlrbuck
• Gygaxian Libram
• HOA citation pad
• HOA regulation book
• HOA zombie eyes
• HP-35 Calculator
• Hairpiece On Fire
• Half a Purse
• Hand that Rocks the Ladle
• Handsome Devil
• Hanukkimbo dreidl
• Happy Birthday, Claude! cake
• Hat O' Nine Tails
• Haunted Sorority House staff guide
• Hawking's Elixir of Brilliance
• Haymaker
• Heimz Fortified Kidney Beans
• Hell and How I Bent It
• Helps-You-Sleep
• Herring Daiquiri
• Herring Wallbanger
• Herringtini
• Highest Bitter
• History's Most Offensive Jokes, Vol. IX
• Hjodor's Guide to Arctic Dalmatians
• Hjodor's Guide to Arctic Dalmatians (used)
• Hodgman's almanac
• Hodgman's bow tie
• Hodgman's cane
• Hodgman's disgusting technicolor overcoat
• Hodgman's garbage sticker
• Hodgman's harmonica
• Hodgman's imaginary hamster
• Hodgman's journal #1: The Lean Times
• Hodgman's journal #2: Entrepreneurythmics
• Hodgman's journal #3: Pumping Tin
• Hodgman's journal #4: View From The Big Top
• Hodgman's lobsterskin pants
• Hodgman's lucky sock
• Hodgman's metal detector
• Hodgman's porkpie hat
• Hodgman's varcolac paw
• Hodgman's whackin' stick
• Holiday Hal's Happy-Time Fun Book!
• Holiday Multitasking
• Holiday Multitasking (used)
• Homebodyl™
• Horsery contract
• Hot 'n' Scarys
• Hot Socks
• Hotwire™ brand candy rope
• How To Get Bigger Without Really Trying
• How to Hold a Grudge
• How to Lose Friends and Attract Snakes
• How to Lose Friends and Attract Snakes (used)
• How to Play Othello
• How to Tolerate Jerks
• Hoyle's Guide to Reindeer Games
• Hoyle's Guide to Reindeer Games (used)
• Huggler Radio
• Humanitini
• Humpty Dumplings
• Hundred Headed IPA
• Hunger™ Sauce
• Ice Island Long Tea
• Ice-Cold Aluminum Necklace
• Ice-Cold Beer Ring
• Ice-Cold Beerring
• Idol of Ak'gyxoth
• Illuminati earpiece
• Illustrated Mating Rituals of the Gallapagos
• Inigo's Incantation of Inspiration
• Inigo's Incantation of Inspiration (crumpled)
• Interview With You (a Vampire)
• Irish eggnog
• Ish Kabibble
• Island Drinkin', a Tiki Mixology Odyssey
• Island Hurricane
• Island Landslide
• Island Thunderstorm
• Item #13
• Iunion Crown
• Jackass Plumber home game
• Jackhammer
• Jamocha berry
• January's Garbage Tote
• January's Garbage Tote (unopened)
• Jarlsberg's pan
• Jarlsberg's pan (Cosmic portal mode)
• Jarlsberg's vegetable soup
• Jawmaster 2000™
• Jeans of Loathing
• Jekyllin hide belt
• Jeppson's Malort
• Jerks' Health™ Magazine
• Jick's autograph
• Jick-o-User
• Jodhpurs of Violence
• Juju Mojo Mask
• June cleaver
• Junior Adventurer's kit
• Junior Adventurer's merit badge
• Junior LAAAAME merit badge
• Junk-Bond
• Jurassic Parka
• Kentucky-fried meat crossbow
• Kentucky-fried meat staff
• Kevlar balloon
• Kiss the Knob apron
• Knob Göblin lòve potion
• Knob Goblin nasal spray
• Knob Goblin pet-buffing spray
• Knob Goblin sharpening spray
• Knob Goblin stink bomb
• KoL Con 12-gauge
• KoL Con 13 snowglobe
• KoL Con 3-D Glasses
• KoL Con 8-Bit power bracelet
• KoL Con Cinco Piñata Bat
• KoL Con IV Pole
• KoL Con Six Pack
• KoL Con X Bingo Card
• KoL Con X Treasure Map
• KoLHS Pep Squad Box
• Kokomo Resort Brand Suntan Oil
• Kramco Industries packing carton
• Kramco Sausage-o-Matic™
• Krampus Horn
• Kremlin's Greatest Briefcase
• Kudzu salad
• Kudzu slaw
• LARP carp
• LARP membership card
• LCD game: Burger Belt
• LCD game: Food Eater
• LCD game: Garbage River
• LED candle
• LI-11 Motor Pool voucher
• LIDAR candle
• LOLmec statuette
• LOV Echinacea Bouquet
• LOV Elephant
• LOV Elixir #6
• LOV Elixir #9
• LOV Emotionizer
• LOV Enamorang
• LOV Entrance Pass
• LOV Extraterrestrial Chocolate
• LT&T tattoo kit
• LT&T telegraph office deed
• LWA ring
• La Fantasma y La Oscuridad
• La Hebilla del Cinturón de Lopez
• Lars the Cyberian
• Lava Miner's Daughter
• LavaCo™ Lamp housing
• Lavalos's shell
• Law of Averages
• Lazenby's Life Lesson
• Lazybones™ recliner
• Leapin' Trousers
• Lederhosen of the Night
• Left-Hand Man action figure
• Lemonade-235
• Lens of Hatred
• Lens of Violence
• Lepardner
• Letter from Carrie Bradshaw
• Liam's mail
• Libram of BRICKOs
• Libram of Candy Heart Summoning
• Libram of Divine Favors
• Libram of Love Songs
• Libram of Pulled Taffy
• Libram of Resolutions
• License to Chill
• Lil' Doctor™ bag
• Little Crimson Book
• Little Geneticist DNA-Splicing Lab
• Living to Drink, Drinking to Live
• Loathing Legion abacus
• Loathing Legion can opener
• Loathing Legion chainsaw
• Loathing Legion corkscrew
• Loathing Legion defibrillator
• Loathing Legion double prism
• Loathing Legion electric knife
• Loathing Legion flamethrower
• Loathing Legion hammer
• Loathing Legion helicopter
• Loathing Legion jackhammer
• Loathing Legion kitchen sink
• Loathing Legion knife
• Loathing Legion many-purpose hook
• Loathing Legion moondial
• Loathing Legion necktie
• Loathing Legion pizza stone
• Loathing Legion rollerblades
• Loathing Legion tape measure
• Loathing Legion tattoo needle
• Loathing Legion universal screwdriver
• Lobos Mints
• Lobster qua Grill
• Locust
• Lollipop Drop
• London frog
• Lord Flameface's cloak
• Lord Soggyraven's Slippers
• Louder Than Bomb
• Love Potions and the Wizards who Mix Them
• Lucky Lindy
• Lucky Strikes holo-record
• Lumineux Limnio
• Lump-Stacking for Beginners
• LyleCo premium magnifying glass
• LyleCo premium monocle
• LyleCo premium pickaxe
• LyleCo premium rope
• MAHI fez
• Mae West with a fly in it
• Mafia bow tie
• Mafia stogie
• Mafia violin case
• Maiali Sifilitici Pinot Noir
• Make-Your-Own-Vampire-Fangs kit
• Mallomarbles
• Mansquito Serum
• Mansquito's blood
• Manual of Lock Picking
• Manual of Numberology
• Manual of Transcendent Olfaction
• Map to Kokomo
• March hat
• Mark III Steam-Hat
• Mark IV Steam-Hat
• Marltini
• Martialest Arts trophy
• Marvelous Unitard
• Massive Manual of Marauder Mockery
• Master Thief's utility belt
• MayDay™ contract
• Mayam Calendar
• Mayam spinach
• Mayflower bouquet
• Mayo de Mayo™ mayo
• Mayodiol
• Mayoflex
• Mayonex
• Mayor Ghost's cloak
• Mayor Ghost's gavel
• Mayor Ghost's khakis
• Mayor Ghost's sash
• Mayor Ghost's scissors
• Mayor Ghost's toupee
• Mayostat
• Mayozapine
• McLeod's Hard Haggis-Ade
• McPhee's Grimoire of Hilarious Object Summoning
• Meat maid
• Meat-inflating powder
• Meatcleaver
• Mechamelion
• Medallion of the Ventrilo Prince
• Memories of Beanslinging
• Memories of Cow Punching
• Memories of Snake Oiling
• Memory Disk, Alpha
• Mer-kin darkbook
• Mer-kin digpick
• Mer-kin dragbelt
• Mer-kin eyedrops
• Mer-kin facecowl
• Mer-kin gladiator mask
• Mer-kin gladiator tailpiece
• Mer-kin headguard
• Mer-kin paste
• Mer-kin pinkslip
• Mer-kin pressureglobe
• Mer-kin rocksalt
• Mer-kin saltmint
• Mer-kin saltsquid
• Mer-kin scholar mask
• Mer-kin scholar tailpiece
• Mer-kin thighguard
• Mer-kin waistrope
• Merc Core Field Manual: Intimidation Techniques
• Merc Core Field Manual: Sanity Maintenance
• Merc Core challenge coin
• Merc Core deployment orders
• Mesmereyes™ contact lenses
• Meteoid ice beam
• Microplushie: Bropane
• Microplushie: Dorkonide
• Microplushie: Ermahgerdic Acid
• Microplushie: Fauxnerditide
• Microplushie: Gothochondria
• Microplushie: Hippylase
• Microplushie: Hipsterine
• Microplushie: Hobomosome
• Microplushie: Otakulone
• Microplushie: Raverdrine
• Microplushie: Sororitrate
• Mini-Crimbot crate
• MiniMechaElf Laser Punch Missile Launcher
• Miniborg Destroy-O-Bot
• Miniborg beeper
• Miniborg hiveminder
• Miniborg laser
• Miniborg stomper
• Miniborg strangler
• Mint Salton Pepper's Peppermint Seed Catalog
• Mint-in-box Moonthril Circlet
• Mint-in-box Moonthril Cuirass
• Mint-in-box Moonthril Flamberge
• Mint-in-box Moonthril Greaves
• Mint-in-box Moonthril Longbow
• Miss Graves' vermouth
• Mixed Garbanzos and Chickpeas
• Mjolnir Jr.
• Mmm-brr! brand mouthwash
• Monster Manuel
• Moon Pie
• Moonds
• Moonshine Mohobo
• Moonthril Schnapps
• Moping Artistic Goth Kid
• More Humanitini than Humanitini
• Morphan
• Morto Moreto
• Mr. Accessory
• Mr. Accessory Jr.
• Mr. Balloon
• Mr. Burnsger
• Mr. Cheeng's spectacles
• Mr. Container
• Mr. Eh?
• Mr. Exploiter
• Mr. Screege's spectacles
• Mr. Shirt
• Mrs. Rush
• Ms. Accessory
• Mt. Noob Pale Ale
• Mu
• Mudflap-Girl Earring
• Mudflap-Girl Necklace
• Mudflap-Girl Ring
• Murgatroyd diode
• Muschat
• Mustardigrade
• My First Art of War
• My Life of Crime, a Memoir
• My Own Pen Pal kit
• Mylar balloon
• Mysterious Stranger
• N. O. Beer
• NPZR chemistry set
• Nadsat berry
• Napalm In The Morning™ candle
• Necrotelicomnicon
• Never Don't Stop Not Striving
• Neverending Party favor
• Neverending Party guest pass
• Neverending Party invitation envelope
• New-You Club Membership Form
• Newbiesport™ backpack
• Newman's Own Trousers
• Nightstalker perfume
• No Hats as Art
• Nog-on-the-Cob
• Non-Euclidean Finance
• Northern pemmican
• Nose Ring of Putrescence
• Notes from the Elfpocalypse, Chapter III
• Novelty Belt Buckle of Violence
• Now You're Cooking With Grease
• Nursine
• Official Council Aide Pin
• Official Seal of Dreadsylvania
• Oh, the Humanitini
• Ol' Scratch's ash can
• Ol' Scratch's infernal pitchfork
• Ol' Scratch's manacles
• Ol' Scratch's ol' britches
• Ol' Scratch's salad fork
• Ol' Scratch's stove door
• Ol' Scratch's stovepipe hat
• Olympic-sized Clan crate
• Oopsie IPA
• Operation Patriot Shield
• Oppossum
• Orange Star of Sacrifice
• Order of the Green Thumb Order Form
• Order of the Silver Wossname
• Oreille Divisée brandy
• Oscus's dumpster waders
• Oscus's flypaper pants
• Oscus's garbage can lid
• Oscus's neverending soda
• Oscus's pelt
• Osk'r Chow
• Otorian Battle Scar
• Ouija Board, Ouija Board
• Our Daily Candles™ order form
• Outer Wolf™ cologne
• PARTY HARD T-shirt
• PB&BP
• PVC staff
• Pack of Alice's Army Cards
• Pack of Alice's Army Foil Cards
• Pack of Every Card
• Pan-Dimensional Gargle Blaster
• Panda outfit
• Pantaloons of Hatred
• Pantsgiving
• Para-Pop
• Party Planning on a Budget
• Party Tattoo™ gift certificate
• Peaclock
• Pecos Dave's sixgun
• Peek-a-Boo!
• Pendant of Fire
• Pendant of Gargalesis
• Pener's drumstick
• Peppermint Pip Packet
• Periodical Paintbrush
• Pete & Jackie's Dragon Tooth Emporium Catalog
• Pete's rich ricotta
• Pete's wiley whey bar
• Petite Paintbrush
• Phlegethon
• Phonus Balonus
• Pigsticker of Violence
• Pillowbug
• Pimpsqueak
• Pink Heart of Spirit
• PirateRealm guest pass
• PirateRealm membership packet
• PirateRealm party hat
• Pizza of Legend
• Plague of Locusts
• Platinum HP-35 Calculator
• Platinum Yendorian Express Card
• PlexiPips
• Pneumo bar
• Pocket Guide to Mild Evil
• Pocket Guide to Mild Evil (used)
• Pocket Meteor Guide
• Pocket Meteor Guide (well-thumbed)
• Pocket Professor memory chip
• Pocket Square of Loathing
• Poké-Gro fertilizer
• Pokéfam Guide to Capturing All of Them
• Pop Art: a Guide
• Potion of Heroism
• Powerful Glove
• Prelude of Precision
• Pretty Predator Clawicure Kit
• Professor of Spelunkology
• Protects-Your-Junk
• Psycho From The Heat
• Puffstone cigar
• Punching Potion
• Putrid Pendant
• Quaatorade™
• Quartet of Flare Masters Jacket
• Queue Du Coq cocktailcrafting kit
• Quiets-Your-Steps
• Rümpelstiltz
• ROM of Optimality
• Racisto Ruidoso
• Rad-B-Gone (1 lb.)
• Rad-Pro (1 oz.)
• Radio Free Baseball Cap
• Radio Free Foil
• Radio Free Jersey
• Radio Free Pants
• Radio KoL Antenna Ball
• Radio KoL Bottle Opener
• Radio KoL Coffee Mug
• Radio KoL Flashlight
• Radio KoL Keychain
• Radio KoL Maracas
• Radio KoL Patch
• Raggedy Hippy doll
• Rainbow Jello Mould
• Rainbow's Gravity
• Ralph IX cognac
• Rattlin' Chains
• Recipe of Before Yore: Boris's beer
• Recipe of Before Yore: Boris's bread
• Recipe of Before Yore: Calzone of Legend
• Recipe of Before Yore: Deep Dish of Legend
• Recipe of Before Yore: Jarlsberg's vegetable soup
• Recipe of Before Yore: Pete's rich ricotta
• Recipe of Before Yore: Pete's wily whey bar
• Recipe of Before Yore: Pizza of Legend
• Recipe of Before Yore: St. Pete's sneaky smoothie
• Recipe of Before Yore: baked veggie ricotta
• Recipe of Before Yore: honey bun of Boris
• Recipe of Before Yore: plain calzone
• Recipe of Before Yore: ratatouille de Jarlsberg
• Recipe of Before Yore: roasted vegetable focaccia
• Recipe of Before Yore: roasted vegetable of J.
• Red Balloon of Valor
• Red Dwarf
• Red Fox glove
• Red Roger tattoo kit
• Red Roger's red left foot
• Red Roger's red left hand
• Red Roger's red right foot
• Red Roger's red right hand
• Red Roger's reliquary
• Red Roger's skull
• Red Russian
• Rethinking Candy
• Retrospecs
• Retrospecs try-at-home kit
• Riker's Search History
• Ring of Fire
• Ring of the Sewer Snake
• Rock Garden Guide
• Rogue Windmill Rouge
• Roman Candelabra
• Rompedores de Fantasmas
• Royal scepter
• Ruffalo
• S.A.V.E. flyer
• S.I.T. Course Completion Certificate
• S.I.T. Course Voucher
• S.L.E.I.G.H.B.E.L.L.S.
• S.S. Ticket
• S.T.L.T.
• SMOOCH bracers
• SMOOCH breastplate
• SMOOCH codpiece
• SMOOCH coffee cup
• SMOOCH kneepads
• SMOOCH spaulders
• STYX deodorant body spray
• Saccharine Maple pendant
• Saison du Lune
• SalesCo sample kit
• Salsa Caliente™ candle
• Satan hat
• Saucepanic
• Sazerorc
• Sazuruk-hai
• Scandalously Skimpy Bikini
• Scent of a Human™ candle
• Scepter of Loathing
• Sceptre of the Torremolinos Prince
• Schmalz's First Prize Beer
• School of Hard Knocks Diploma
• Schrödinger's thermos
• Science Notebook
• Scorpion Bowl
• Scratch 'n' Sniff Sticker Tome
• Scratch-and-Sniff Guide to Dinseylandfill
• Scuba Snack
• Scurvy and Sobriety Prevention
• Sealed TakerSpace letter of Marque
• Seasonal Beret
• Secrets of the Master Egg Hunters
• Secrets of the Master Egg Hunters (used)
• Senior LAAAAME merit badge
• Sept-Ember Censer
• Septapus summoning charm
• Sequestrian
• Seven Loco
• Shakespeare's Sister's Accordion
• Shantix™
• Sheila Take a Crossbow
• Shielding Potion
• Shot of the Living Dead
• Shrieking Weasel holo-record
• Shrub's Premium Baked Beans
• Shudder
• Siberian sunrise
• Silly Little Love Song
• Silver Bullet beer
• Silver HP-35 Calculator
• Sinful Desires
• Single Alice's Army Foil
• Sister Accessory
• Site Alpha ID badge
• Size XI Wizard's Robe
• Sizzling Sinner
• Sketcherz™
• Skipper's accordion
• Skull Punch
• Skullhead's Screw
• Skully's hot chocolate
• Sledgehamster
• Slimebite
• Slimosa
• Slippery Knob
• Sloe Comfortable Zoo on Fire
• Sloppy Jalopy
• Sloppy Seconds Diner Employee Handbook
• Slotter
• Small Medium
• Smashmoth
• Smoldering Clover™ candle
• Smuggler's Punch
• Snarf berry
• Sneaky Pete's leather jacket
• Sneaky Pete's leather jacket (collar popped)
• Snoutlet
• Snow Suit
• Sockdollager
• Solstice Shield
• Sombrero De Vida
• SongBoom™ BoomBox
• SongBoom™ BoomBox Box
• Sorcerers of the Shore Grimoire
• Source shades
• Source terminal
• Source terminal CRAM chip
• Source terminal DIAGRAM chip
• Source terminal DRAM chip
• Source terminal GRAM chip
• Source terminal INGRAM chip
• Source terminal PRAM chip
• Source terminal SCRAM chip
• Source terminal SPAM chip
• Source terminal TRAM chip
• Source terminal file: cram.ext
• Source terminal file: critical.enh
• Source terminal file: damage.enh
• Source terminal file: familiar.ext
• Source terminal file: portscan.edu
• Source terminal file: protect.enq
• Source terminal file: stats.enq
• Source terminal file: substats.enh
• Source terminal file: tram.ext
• Source terminal file: turbo.edu
• Sourfinger
• Souvenir Chopsticks
• Sp'n-Zor's Grimoire of "Tasteful" Gifts
• Space Baby bawbaw
• Space Baby children's book
• Space Pirate Astrogation Handbook
• Space Trip safety headphones
• Spacegate Initiative tattoo unit
• Spacegate Research
• Spacegate access badge
• Spacegate diplomat's insignia
• Spacegate emergency disintegrator
• Spacegate military insignia
• Spacegate scientist's insignia
• Spaghetti with Moonballs
• Spasmi Dolorosi Del Rene Champagne
• Special Seasoning
• Spellbook: Drescher's Annoying Noise
• Spellbook: Singer's Faithful Ocelot
• Spellbook: Walberg's Dim Bulb
• Spelunker of Fortune
• Spelunker's Guild prize sack
• Spelunker's fedora
• Spelunker's khakis
• Spelunker's whip
• SpinMaster™ lathe
• Spirit Precipice
• Spirit of Christmas
• Spooky Putty ball
• Spooky Putty leotard
• Spooky Putty mitre
• Spooky Putty monster
• Spooky Putty sheet
• Spooky Putty snake
• Spookyraven signet
• Spring Break Beach "swimsuit"
• Spring Break Beach tattoo coupon
• Spring Bros. ID badge
• Squib
• St. Pete's sneaky smoothie
• St. Sneaky Pete's Day goodies basket
• St. Sneaky Pete's Whey
• Stabonic scroll
• Staff of Blood and Pudding
• Staff of Frozen Lard
• Staff of Holiday Sensations
• Staff of Kitchen Royalty
• Staff of Queso Escusado
• Staff of Simmering Hatred
• Staff of the Black Kettle
• Staff of the Cozy Fish
• Staff of the Deepest Freeze
• Staff of the Electric Range
• Staff of the Grand Flambé
• Staff of the Grease Trap
• Staff of the Greasefire
• Staff of the Headmaster's Victuals
• Staff of the Kitchen Floor
• Staff of the Midnight Snack
• Staff of the Peppermint Twist
• Staff of the Roaring Hearth
• Staff of the Scummy Sink
• Staff of the Short Order Cook
• Staff of the Soupbone
• Staff of the Teapot Tempest
• Staff of the Walk-In Freezer
• Staff of the Well-Tempered Cauldron
• Staff of the Woodfire
• Star Spawn
• Star of Bravery
• Steam Card: DemonStar (#1)
• Steam Card: DemonStar (#3)
• Steam Card: Dungeon Fist (#1)
• Steam Card: Dungeon Fist (#2)
• Steam Card: Jackass Plumber (#1)
• Steam Card: Jackass Plumber (#3)
• Steam Card: Meteoid (#1)
• Steam Card: Meteoid (#2)
• Steam Card: Meteoid (#3)
• Steam Card: Space Trip (#3)
• Steamboat
• Stembridge sidearm
• Stick-Knife of Loathing
• Stooper
• Straypler
• Strong, Silent Type
• Stupid University Diploma
• Suffering Sinner
• Super Crimboman Ultra Mega Hypersword
• Super Magic Power Sword X
• Superdrifter holo-record
• Superhero Reboots
• Suppurating Sinner
• Swedish coffee
• Sweet Sword
• Sword of Procedural Generation
• Sword of the Brouhaha Prince
• TΤ◊lisman of Baiø‡
• TRIO cup of beer
• Taco Dan's Basic Taco Dan Taco
• Taco Dan's Super Taco-Riffic Taco Sauce!
• Taco Dan's Taco Fish Fish Taco
• Taco Dan's Taco Stand Flier
• TakerSpace letter of Marque
• Tales of Dread
• Tales of Western Braggadoccio
• Tales of a Kansas Toymaker
• Tales of the Word Realms
• Talisman of Baio
• Talisman of Bakula
• Tallowcreme Halloween Pumpkin
• Tapioc berry
• Tea, Earl Grey, Hot
• Temporal Tempera Tube
• Temps Tempranillo
• Tesla's Electroplated Beans
• Thanksgiving ration
• That 70s Cologne
• The Art of Slapfighting
• The Art of Slapfighting (used)
• The Author's ink
• The Author's inkwell
• The Autobiography Of Dynamite Superman Jones
• The Ballad of Richie Thingfinder
• The Beast Within™ candle
• The Big Book of Communism
• The Big Book of Every Skill
• The Bomb
• The Chill of the Wild
• The Cocktail Shaker
• The Confiscator's Grimoire
• The Crown of Ed the Undying
• The Emperor's new cookie
• The Emperor's new hat
• The Emperor's new pants
• The Emperor's new shirt
• The Encyclopedia of Fruit
• The Encyclopedia of Fruit (used)
• The Eye of the Thing in the Basement
• The Fingernail of the Thing in the Basement
• The Firegate Tapes
• The Fun-Guy Cold Weather Bartender's Guide
• The Ghoul King's ghoulottes
• The Gingerbread Vigilante's Handbook
• The Groose in the Hoose
• The Imploded World
• The Inquisitor's unidentifiable object
• The Jokester's gun
• The Jokester's pants
• The Jokester's wig
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 1
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 2
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 3
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 4
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 5
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 6
• The Joy of Wassailing
• The Kloop in the Coop
• The Landscaper's leafblower
• The Legendary Beat
• The Lost Pill Bottle
• The Lot's engagement ring
• The Mad Liquor
• The Necbromancer's Hat
• The Necbromancer's Shorts
• The Necbromancer's Stein
• The Necbromancer's Wizard Staff
• The Necbronomicon
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 1
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 2
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 3
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 3 (used)
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 4
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 4 (used)
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 5
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 6
• The Nose Knows, A Guide to Smells
• The Nose Knows, A Guide to Smells (read)
• The Nuge's favorite crossbow
• The One Mood Ring
• The Pigs holo-record
• The Plumber's mushroom stew
• The Ring
• The Sagittarian's leisure pants
• The Six-Pack of Pain
• The Smith's Tome
• The Snitch's Manifesto
• The Spirit of Giving
• The Spirit of Giving (used)
• The Superconductor's CPU
• The Sword in the Steak
• The Thorax's Codex of Tormenting Plants
• The Western Look
• They liver
• They'll Love You In Rhinestones
• Thinknerd T-Shirt
• Thinknerd T-shirt grab bag
• Thinknerd's Grimoire of Geeky Gifts
• Third Eye
• Thor's Pliers
• Three Mile Island shorts
• Thunkula's drinking cap
• Thwaitgold Goliath beetle statuette
• Thwaitgold amoeba statuette
• Thwaitgold ant statuette
• Thwaitgold anti-moth statuette
• Thwaitgold bee statuette
• Thwaitgold bookworm statuette
• Thwaitgold bug statuette
• Thwaitgold butterfly statuette
• Thwaitgold buzzy beetle statuette
• Thwaitgold caterpillar statuette
• Thwaitgold chigger statuette
• Thwaitgold cockroach statuette
• Thwaitgold dragonfly statuette
• Thwaitgold fire beetle statuette
• Thwaitgold grasshopper statuette
• Thwaitgold keyhole spider statuette
• Thwaitgold listening bug statuette
• Thwaitgold maggot statuette
• Thwaitgold masked hunter statuette
• Thwaitgold metabug statuette
• Thwaitgold mosquito statuette
• Thwaitgold moth statuette
• Thwaitgold nit statuette
• Thwaitgold nymph statuette
• Thwaitgold praying mantis statuette
• Thwaitgold scarab beetle statuette
• Thwaitgold scorpion statuette
• Thwaitgold spider statuette
• Thwaitgold stag beetle statuette
• Thwaitgold time fly statuette
• Thwaitgold wheel bug statuette
• Thwaitgold woollybear statuette
• Tickle-Me Emilio
• Time Bandit Badge of Courage
• Time Bandit Time Towel
• Time Cape
• Time Lord Badge of Honor
• Time Lord Participation Mug
• Time-Spinner
• To Build an Igloo
• Toddler-sized Dragon Costume
• Tome of Clip Art
• Tome of Rad Libs
• Tome of Snowcone Summoning
• Tome of Sugar Shummoning
• Too Cold to Hold: How to Be Cool - A Memoir
• Toot Oriole care package
• Totally Gay Claymore
• Trader Olaf's Exotic Stinkbeans
• Trafikoan
• Trainbot harness
• Trainbot luggage hook
• Trainbot radar monocle
• Transylvania Sling
• Trash, a Memoir
• Travoltan trousers
• Treads of Loathing
• Trivial Avocations board game
• Tropical Crimbo Hat
• Tropical Crimbo Shorts
• Tropical Crimbo Sword
• Trout Fishing in Loathing
• Truthsayer
• Turpin
• Turtive
• Turtle Bowl
• Twelve Night Energy
• Twitching Television Tattoo
• UV monocular
• Ultimate Mind Destroyer
• Ultra Mega Sour Ball
• Ultrasoldier Serum
• Unagnimated Gnome
• Uncle Buck
• Uncle Crimbo's Rations
• Uncle Crimbo's Sack
• Uncle Crimbo's hat
• Uncle Greenspan's Bathroom Finance Guide
• Uncle Hobo's belt
• Uncle Hobo's epic beard
• Uncle Hobo's fingerless tinsel gloves
• Uncle Hobo's gift baggy pants
• Uncle Hobo's highest bough
• Uncle Hobo's stocking cap
• Uncle Romulus
• Uncle Romulus (used)
• Underworld acorn
• Underworld flail
• Underworld sapling
• Underworld truncheon
• Underworld trunk
• Unfortunato's foolscap
• Ungulant
• Universal Seasoning
• Unkillable Skeleton's breastplate
• Unkillable Skeleton's restless leg
• Unkillable Skeleton's sawsword
• Unkillable Skeleton's shield
• Unkillable Skeleton's shinguards
• Unkillable Skeleton's skullcap
• Unmotivator: Crashed Meat Car
• Unmotivator: Crashed Orca
• Unmotivator: Success Warrior
• Unopened Eight Days a Week Pill Keeper
• Unspeakable Earring
• Unspeakachu
• Uovo Marcio Shiraz
• V for Vivala mask
• VYKEA frenzy rune
• VYKEA instructions
• VYKEA mead
• VYKEA meatballs
• Val-U Brand Every Bean Salad
• Valentine
• Valentine's Day cake
• Vamprey
• Vaporpoise
• Vegetable of Jarlsberg
• Velougats™
• Velvet Veil
• Venus flytrap
• Vial of jus de larmes
• Vicar's Tutu
• Vivian's Vitamin
• Volartta's bellbottoms
• Volcoino
• Voluminous Radio Hat
• Voluminous Radio Pants
• Voluminous Radio Sneakers
• Vulgure
• WA
• Waifuton
• Wal-Mart "diamond" ring
• Wal-Mart gift certificate
• Wal-Mart nametag
• Wal-Mart overalls
• Wal-Mart snowglobe
• Wal-Mart tattoo kit
• Warehouse 23 bling
• Warehouse 23 crate
• Warms-Your-Tush
• Wart Dinsey: An Afterlife
• Wax Flask
• Wendtigo
• Western Slang Vol. 1: Violence
• Western Slang Vol. 2: Cooking
• Western Slang Vol. 3: Fraud
• Wet Russian
• Whenchamacallit bar
• White Dragon Fang
• Winifred's whistle
• Witchess Set
• Wolfman Nardz
• Work is a Four Letter Sword
• Workytime Tea
• Wrecked Generator
• Wrotz
• Wullabye
• X-32-F snowman crate
• X-37 gun
• Xi Receiver Unit
• Xiblaxian 5D printer
• Xiblaxian crystal
• Xiblaxian direct marketing simcode
• Xiblaxian encrypted political prisoner
• Xiblaxian holo-bowtie
• Xiblaxian holo-buddy simcode
• Xiblaxian holo-schematic: residence cube
• Xiblaxian holo-schematic: space whiskey
• Xiblaxian holo-schematic: stealth cowl
• Xiblaxian holo-schematic: stealth trousers
• Xiblaxian holo-schematic: stealth vest
• Xiblaxian holo-schematic: ultraburrito
• Xiblaxian holo-schematic: xeno-goggles
• Xiblaxian holo-wrist-puter
• Xiblaxian residence-cube
• Xiblaxian space-whiskey
• Xiblaxian stealth cowl
• Xiblaxian stealth trousers
• Xiblaxian stealth vest
• Xiblaxian ultraburrito
• Xiblaxian xeno-detection goggles
• Xlyinia's notebook
• Ye Olde Navy Fleece
• Yeast of Boris
• Yeg's Motel alarm clock
• Yeg's Motel ashtray
• Yeg's Motel disposable razor
• Yeg's Motel hand soap
• Yeg's Motel minibar key
• Yeg's Motel mouthwash
• Yeg's Motel pillow mint
• Yeg's Motel sewing kit
• Yeg's Motel stationery
• Yeg's Motel toothbrush
• Yellow Moon of Compassion
• Yorick
• Young Man's Cargo Load
• Young Man's Crew Sequester
• Yuleviathan necklace
• Zombo's empty eye
• Zombo's grievous greaves
• Zombo's shield
• Zombo's shoulder blade
• Zombo's skull ring
• Zombo's skullcap
• Zoodriver
• Zu Mannkäse Dienen
• [glitch season reward name]
• [reuse me]
• a bug's lymph
• a cute angel
• a suspicious address
• absentee voter ballot
• abstraction: certainty
• abstraction: comprehension
• abstraction: joy
• abyssal battle plans
• acceptable mayolus
• accidental mutton
• accordion file
• actual blood sausage
• actual reality goggles
• adhesive tape dolly
• adobe abacus
• adobe abaya
• adobe adze
• adobe arsecover
• adobe ascot
• adobe assortment
• adobe ayam
• adobe brittle
• adventurer clone egg
• aerated diving helmet
• aerogel accordion
• aerogel akubra
• aerogel anvil
• aerogel apron
• aerogel ascot
• aerogel attache case
• aerosolized aerogel
• affordable teak perch
• airplane charter: Conspiracy Island
• airplane charter: Dinseylandfill
• airplane charter: Spring Break Beach
• airplane charter: That 70s Volcano
• airplane charter: The Glaciest
• airplane tattoo
• alabaster bishop
• alabaster king
• alabaster knight
• alabaster pawn
• alabaster queen
• alabaster rook
• albatross necklace
• alien animal goo
• alien animal milk
• alien drugs
• alien force field disruptor bean
• alien gemstone
• alien plant fibers
• alien plant pod
• alien plant sample
• alien protein powder
• alien source code printout
• alien toenails
• alien zoological sample
• all-purpose flower
• all-year sucker
• almost-dead walkie-talkie
• alpine watercolor set
• ammonite candy mold
• amphibious tophat
• anchor bomb
• ancient Elf dessert spoon
• ancient calendar
• ancient cursed foot locker
• ancient hot dog wrapper
• ancient meat
• ancient oil painting of yourself
• ancient redwood
• ancient turtle shell
• ancient turtle shell helmet
• ancient turtle shell powder
• anemoney clip
• angel-food cake
• anger blaster
• angry agate
• anise-flavored venom
• annealed drippy orb
• anniversary balloon
• anniversary balsa wood socks
• anniversary gift box
• anniversary pewter cape
• anniversary tiny latex mask
• ant antidepressant
• anti-burn cream
• anti-creep cream
• anti-freeze cream
• anti-goosebump cream
• anti-odor cream
• anti-pain cream
• antimatter wad
• antique 8-Bit Power magazine
• antique Canadian lantern
• antique beer
• antique bottle opener
• antique nutcracker beard
• antique nutcracker boots
• antique nutcracker cape
• antique nutcracker drumstick
• antique nutcracker epaulets
• antique nutcracker figurine
• antique nutcracker hat
• antique nutcracker pants
• antique nutcracker sword
• antique nutcracker waistcoat
• antique painting of a landscape
• antique record album
• antique souvenir drawing
• antique spyglass
• antique tacklebox
• apathetic lizardman doll
• aquamariner's necklace
• aquamariner's ring
• aquaviolet jub-jub bird
• arcanoferric housing
• archaeologing shovel
• arm buzzer
• armored prawn
• arrow'd heart balloon
• arse-a'fire elixir
• arse-shooting crossbow
• artisanal homebrew gift package
• artisanal homebrew sampler
• asbestos crossbow
• asbestos crossbow string
• asbestos staff
• asbestos sword
• asbestos sword hilt
• aspirin
• asteroid belt
• astral badger
• astronaut ice-cream
• astronaut pants
• atomic vector plotter
• attention spanner
• augmented El Vibrato drone
• august scepter
• automatic catapult
• autumn breeze
• autumn dollar
• autumn leaf
• autumn years wisdom
• autumnal aegis
• autumnic balm
• autumnic bomb
• auxiliary backbone
• avatar of the Unconscious Collective
• aviator goggles
• baby bark scorpion
• baby camelCalf
• baby chest mimic
• baby cuddlefish
• baby rigging snake
• babycakes
• backup camera
• backwoods banjo
• baconstone bracelet
• baconstone pendant
• baconstone-handled sixgun
• bad penguin egg
• bad rum and good cola
• bad vibroknife
• badass pie
• bag of Iunion stones
• bag of airline peanuts
• bag of bones
• bag of foreign bribes
• bag of many confections
• bag of random words
• bag of sausage links
• bag of unfinished business
• bagged Cargo Cultist Shorts
• bagged stuffed "L"
• baked veggie ricotta casserole
• bakelite backpack
• bakelite badge
• bakelite belt
• bakelite bits
• bakelite bowl
• bakelite breeches
• bakelite brooch
• bakelite-covered bacon
• balanced antler
• ball-in-a-cup
• ballpark hot daub
• balsam barrel
• banana candle
• banana split
• banana supersucker
• banana-frosted king cake
• bananagate
• baneful bandolier
• banjo kazoo mount
• banjo strings
• baobab sap
• bar of freeze-dried water
• bar whip
• bark beret
• bark boxers
• bark bracelet
• barnacled barrel
• barrel beryl
• barrel beryl nose ring
• barrel beryl ring
• barrel pickle
• barrelhead
• bartender skull
• bartender-skull-in-the-box
• basaltamander buckler
• basic meat crossbow
• basic meat foon
• basic meat kilt
• basic meat spork
• basic meat staff
• basic meat sword
• basking robin
• bastard baster
• bat whip
• bat wings
• bat-ass leather jacket
• battered Crimbo Crate
• battered hubcap
• battered old top-hat
• battery (9-Volt)
• battery (AA)
• battery (D)
• battery (car)
• battery (lantern)
• battoo kit
• bauxite beret
• bauxite bow-tie
• bauxite boxers
• bazooka cozy
• bear claw
• beastly paste
• beautiful rainbow
• beautiful soup
• beer cartilage
• beer goggles
• beet
• beet-flavored Mr. Mediocrebar
• beggin' cologne
• bejazzled eyepatch
• bejeweled accordion strap
• belemnite candy mold
• belemnite fossil
• bellhop bell
• bellhop's hat
• belt of Ogrekind
• best joke ever
• bewitching boots
• bezoar ring
• bi-lateral logic compressor
• big bundle of chamoix
• big glob of skin
• big hot pepper
• big ol' trophy
• big slimy cyst
• big stirring stick
• big tun
• biker's hat
• bill bec-de-bardiche glaive-guisarme
• bindlestocking
• biomechanical crimborg leg armor
• birdbone corset
• birthday candle
• birthday party jellybean cheesecake
• bishop cookie
• bitter bowtie
• black BRICKO brick
• black belt
• black candy heart
• black candygram
• black cowboy hat
• black facepaint
• black gallstone
• black lotus
• black sheepskin diploma
• black slime glob
• black snowcone
• black velvet box
• blackberry moccasins
• blank fudge mold
• blank note
• blank white card
• blended frozen swill with a fly in it
• blessed rustproof +2 gray dragon scale mail
• blob of Alphredo™
• blood kiwi
• blood roll-up
• blood snowcone
• blood-soaked sponge cake
• bloodstick
• bloody kiwitini
• blown-out speaker cone
• blue LavaCo Lamp™
• blue canary nightlight
• blue glowstick
• blue lava globs
• blue money bag
• blue paisley oyster egg
• blue plastic baby
• blue plastic oyster egg
• blue plate
• blue pumps
• blue raspberry troll doll
• blue ribbon
• blue rocket
• blue traffic cone
• blue velvet cake
• blueberry muffin
• blueberry-frosted king cake
• blundarrrbus
• blunt cat claw
• blunt icepick
• bobble-hip hula elf doll
• body spradium
• bodyguard badge
• bodyslam
• boilgun
• boiling broth
• boiling hot cocoa
• boiling seal blood
• bolder boulder
• bomb of unknown origin
• bone and arrows
• bone aperitif
• bone broth
• bone collar
• bone crusher
• bone flour
• bone meal
• bone spurs
• boneana hammock
• bonedanna
• bonerang
• boning knife
• book of facts
• book of facts (dog-eared)
• boot flask
• boot plant
• booze bindle
• booze drive button
• booze mailing list
• booze-soaked cherry
• boozebomb
• borg sock monkey
• bottle of Blank-Out
• bottle of Bloodweiser
• bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon
• bottle of Cochon Noir
• bottle of Crème de Fugu
• bottle of Crimbognac
• bottle of Goldschnöckered
• bottle of Greedy Dog
• bottle of Lambada Lambic
• bottle of Race Car Red
• bottle of Sanguiovese
• bottle of anís
• bottle of black cat tonic
• bottle of bubbles
• bottle of extra-dark rhum
• bottle of fruity "wine"
• bottle of lighter fluid
• bottle of lovebug pheromones
• bottle of moontan lotion
• bottle of novelty hot sauce
• bottle of peppermint schnapps
• bottle of perfume
• bottle of pirate juice
• bottle of realpagne
• bottle of ultravitamins
• bottle-rocket crossbow
• bottlecap turtle
• bottled Vampire Vintner
• bottled green pixie
• bottled inspiration
• bottoms of the barrel
• bounty-hunting helmet
• bounty-hunting pants
• bounty-hunting rifle
• bouquet of circular saw blades
• bow
• bow staff
• bowl of Bounty-Os
• bowl of Tastee-Wheet™
• bowl of fishysoisse
• bowl of marinade
• bowl of oriole's nest soup
• bowl of petunias
• bowl of prescription candy
• bowlegged pants
• bowler
• box o' ghosts
• box of Familiar Jacks
• box of Gratitude chocolates
• box of bear arms
• box of hammers
• box of hickory chips
• box-in-the-box
• boxed Apriling band helmet
• boxed Mayam Calendar
• boxed Sept-Ember Censer
• boxed august scepter
• boxed autumn-aton
• boxed bat wings
• boxed gumball machine
• boxing-glove-in-a-box
• brain preservation fluid
• brainwave-controlled unicorn horn
• brainy skull
• bran muffin
• brass Dreadsylvanian flask
• brass crank handle
• brass dorsal fin
• brass stinger
• brass turkey knuckles
• brazen bracelet
• bread basket
• bread mold
• breaded beer
• brick
• briefcase full of sprinkles
• brittle plastic handle
• broberry brogurt
• broken El Vibrato drone
• broken carburetor
• broken cellular phone
• broken chocolate pocketwatch
• broken clock
• broken glass grenade
• broken warbear gyrocopter
• bronze
• bronze handcuffs
• brown pirate pants
• brown plastic baby
• bubble-wrap simulator
• bubble-wrap simulator (half broken)
• bubble-wrap simulator (one broken button)
• bubble-wrap simulator (one button left)
• bubblewrap bottlecap turtleban
• bubblewrap staff
• bubblin' chemistry solution
• bucket of ancient Vampyre blood
• bucket of anniversary lard
• buffalo dime
• buffed alien drugs
• bug paste
• bugbear detector
• bugbear-smiting sword
• bugged bön±Ã©t
• bugged balaclava
• bugged beanie
• bulky free-range mushroom
• bullet necklace
• bunch of bananas
• bundle of "fragrant" herbs
• bundle of firewood
• burglar/sleep mask
• burning newspaper
• burnt flower
• burnt snowpants
• burnt stick
• burrowgrub hive
• buzzard feather
• cactus monocle
• calavera concertina
• calle de miel with a fly in it
• calm attention-deficit demon
• campfire baked potato
• campfire beans
• campfire coffee
• campfire hot dog
• campfire s'more
• campfire smoke
• campfire stew
• can of Adultwitch™
• can of CRIMBCOLA
• can of Minions-Be-Gone
• can of Rain-Doh
• can of V-11
• can of depilatory cream
• can of fake snow
• can of franks 'n' beans
• can of mixed everything
• can of starch
• can of the cheapest beer
• can opener
• can-can-in-a-can
• can-you-dig-it?
• candied beef and cabbage
• candied lime
• candied pecan
• candied yam pinky ring
• candy cane candygram
• candy cane sword cane
• candy carrot
• candy chalk
• candy cornucopia
• candy crayons
• candy dog collar
• candy drive button
• candy egg deviler
• candy mailing list
• candy mountain oyster
• candy necktie
• candy rations
• candy stick
• candycaine powder
• cane-mail pants
• cane-mail shirt
• canteen of eggnog
• canteen of jungle juice
• canteen of wine
• cap gun
• capacitor relay
• capped blue lava bottle
• capped green lava bottle
• capped red lava bottle
• carbonite visor
• card sleeve
• cardboard box turtle
• cardboard staff
• cardboard sword
• caret
• carnivorous potted plant
• carrot cake precipice bar
• carrot claret
• carrot juice
• carrot-on-a-stick
• carton of gaspers
• cartoon harpoon
• cat o' nine teeth
• catskin cap
• caustic slime nodule
• celestial au jus
• celestial carrot juice
• celestial squid ink
• cement sandals
• cement shoes
• centurion helmet
• ceramic celery grater
• ceramic celsiturometer
• ceramic cenobite's robe
• ceramic centurion shield
• ceramic cerecloth belt
• ceramic cestus
• ceramic scree
• chain-mail monokini
• chainsaw chain
• chalk chain
• chalk chalice
• chalk chapeau
• chalk chinos
• chalk chlamys
• chalk choker
• chalk chunks
• chamoisole
• charged magnet
• charpuce jub-jub bird
• cheap plastic bottle opener
• cheap plastic kazoo
• cheap sunglasses
• cheap toaster
• cheap wind-up clock
• cheer extractor
• cheerful Crimbo sweater
• cheerful antler hat
• cheerful pajama pants
• chef skull
• chef-skull-in-the-box
• cherry bomb
• chest barrel
• chiffon carbage
• chiffon chakram
• chiffon chamberpot
• chiffon chapeau
• chiffon chaps
• chiffon chemise
• chiffon chevrons
• chiffon lemon
• child-sized dracula cloak
• chili powder cutlass
• chintzy noodle ring
• chintzy saucepan earring
• chintzy turtle brooch
• chiptune guitar
• chisel
• chitin powder paste
• chitinous pod
• chlorophyll paste
• choco-Crimbot
• chocolate "Phoenix"
• chocolate Ogre Chieftain
• chocolate Spider Queen
• chocolate bath ball
• chocolate bowtie
• chocolate box
• chocolate chip muffin
• chocolate cigar
• chocolate covered ping-pong ball
• chocolate cow bone
• chocolate disco ball
• chocolate frosted sugar bomb
• chocolate leash
• chocolate pasta spoon
• chocolate pocketwatch
• chocolate puppy
• chocolate rabbit's foot
• chocolate saucepan
• chocolate seal-clubbing club
• chocolate stolen accordion
• chocolate turtle totem
• chocolate-covered caviar
• chocolate-covered diamond-studded roses
• chocolate-covered loofah
• chocolate-covered scarab beetle
• chocolate-frosted king cake
• chocolate-stained collar
• chrome helmet turtle
• chrome meat stack
• chrome stick
• chunk of depleted Grimacite
• cinnamon cannoli
• cinnamon troll doll
• circle drum
• circular CRIMBCOOKIE
• clan underground fireworks shop
• class five ecto-larva
• claw-held flag
• clerical automa-core
• clingfilm cap
• clingfilm slippers
• clingfilm tangle
• clingfilm trousers
• clockwork bartender head
• clockwork bartender-head-in-the-box
• clockwork chef head
• clockwork chef-head-in-the-box
• clockwork clockwise dome
• clockwork counterclockwise dome
• clockwork crossbow
• clockwork detective skull
• clockwork endoskeleton
• clockwork hat
• clockwork maid
• clockwork maid head
• clockwork pants
• clockwork pirate skull
• clockwork rod
• clockwork shank
• clockwork sheet
• clockwork sphere
• clockwork spine
• clockwork staff
• clockwork trench coat
• clockwork widget
• closed-circuit pay phone
• closed-circuit phone system
• clovermint
• clown hammer
• clownskin buckler
• club necklace
• club of corruption
• club of the five seasons
• club sandwich
• coal paperweight
• coal snakeskin
• coarse hemp socks
• cocoa of youth
• coconut bikini top
• cod cape
• coffee sprite
• cog and sprocket assembly
• cold cluster
• cold clusterbomb
• cold medicine cabinet
• cold seal sweat
• cold-filtered water
• collapsible baton
• colored-light "necklace"
• colorful plastic ball
• colossal free-range mushroom
• combat lover's locket
• combat lover's locket lockbox
• comfy blanket
• complex alien plant sample
• complex alien zoological sample
• complicated device
• complicated lock impression
• compressed air canister
• computronic processing unit
• concentrated cordial of concentration
• concentrated fish broth
• concentrated garbage juice
• confiscated cell phone
• confiscated love note
• congratulatory cake
• conquistador's breastplate
• consolation ribbon
• container of Spooky Putty
• cookbookbat book
• cookie cookie
• cool cat claw
• cool cat elixir
• cool hot cocoa
• cool iron breastplate
• cool iron greaves
• cool iron helmet
• cool iron ingot
• cool jelly donut
• cool mint precipice bar
• cool mushroom wine
• cooling iron breastplate
• cooling iron greaves
• cooling iron helmet
• cop dollar
• coping juice
• copper ha'penny charrrm bracelet
• corked genie bottle
• corpsebite
• corroded breeches
• corrosive cowl
• corrupt club of corrupt corruption
• corrupt club of corruption
• corrupted bird DNA
• corrupted stardust
• cosmic bucket
• cosmic lemonade
• cosmic paste
• cotton candy cocoon
• cotton candy cordial
• counterfeit city
• cow poker
• cozy bazooka
• cozy scarf
• cozy scimitar
• crabsicle
• cranberry schnapps
• crappy Mer-kin mask
• crappy Mer-kin tailpiece
• crappy camera
• crate of firebombs
• crate of fish meat
• crated wardrobe-o-matic
• crazy bastard sword
• creepy-ass club
• crimbo elfling
• croquet hedgehog
• crotchety pants
• crude crudités
• crude oil congealer
• crumbling rat skull
• crumpled felt fedora
• crunchy brush
• crushed steamer trunk
• crusty hula hoop
• cryptic puzzle box
• crystal belt buckle
• crystal decanter
• crystal skull
• crystalline light bulb
• crystalline seal eye
• crystallized memory
• cuckoo clock
• cup of "tea"
• cupcake-in-a-cup
• cuppa Activi tea
• cuppa Alacri tea
• cuppa Boo tea
• cuppa Chari tea
• cuppa Cruel tea
• cuppa Dexteri tea
• cuppa Feroci tea
• cuppa Flamibili tea
• cuppa Flexibili tea
• cuppa Frost tea
• cuppa Gill tea
• cuppa Impregnabili tea
• cuppa Improprie tea
• cuppa Insani tea
• cuppa Irritabili tea
• cuppa Loyal tea
• cuppa Mana tea
• cuppa Mediocri tea
• cuppa Monstrosi tea
• cuppa Nas tea
• cuppa Net tea
• cuppa Neuroplastici tea
• cuppa Obscuri tea
• cuppa Proprie tea
• cuppa Royal tea
• cuppa Serendipi tea
• cuppa Sobrie tea
• cuppa Twen tea
• cuppa Uncertain tea
• cuppa Voraci tea
• cuppa Wit tea
• cuppa Yet tea
• curdflinger
• cursed Aztec tamale
• cursed bottle of black-label rum
• cursed bottle of rum
• cursed breeches
• cursed chocolate doubloon
• cursed cutlass
• cursed dirty joke scroll
• cursed eyepatch
• cursed magnifying glass
• cursed microwave
• cursed monkey glove
• cursed monkey's paw
• cursed piece of thirteen
• cursed pirate cutlass
• cursed pony keg
• cursed ring finger ring
• cursed scrunchie
• cursed sea biscuit
• cursed swash buckle
• cursed tricorn hat
• cursed voodoo skull
• cursed wishbone
• custom avatar form
• custom sixgun
• cute bow from beyond the stars
• cute meteoroid
• cute mushroom
• cyan seashell
• cyber-mattock
• cyborg doll
• cyborg stompin' boot
• cyclops eyedrops
• cymbal syrup
• d6
• daisy
• damp bar rag
• damp old wallet
• dandy lion cub
• das boot
• daub-breaker
• day shortener
• deactivated MicroMechaMech
• deactivated RoboGoose
• deactivated mini-Trainbot
• deactivated nanobots
• deactivated putty buddy
• dead guy's memento
• dead guy's piece of double-sided tape
• dead meat bun
• deadfall branch
• deadly lampshade
• deadly nightshade
• deanimated reanimator's coffin
• debonair deboner
• decanter of fine Scotch
• decaying wooden paddle
• decaying wooden pole
• deck of lewd playing cards
• deck of tropical cards
• deed to Oliver's Place
• defective Game Grid token
• defective Golden Mr. Accessory
• defective skull
• deflated inflatable dodecapede
• delicious comfit?
• delicious shimmering moth
• delicious star salad
• delicious stinkbug
• deluxe Neverending Party favor
• deluxe fax machine
• demon buckler
• demon makeup kit
• demonic paste
• demonic surgical gloves
• denastified haunch
• denim axe
• dense meat crossbow
• dense meat staff
• dental pliers
• depleted Grimacite astrolabe
• depleted Grimacite grappling hook
• depleted Grimacite gravy boat
• depleted Grimacite hammer
• depleted Grimacite kneecapping stick
• depleted Grimacite ninja mask
• depleted Grimacite shinguards
• depleted Grimacite weightlifting belt
• designer sweatpants
• designer sweatpants (new old stock)
• desktop zen garden
• detective roscoe
• detective school application
• detective tattoo
• dethklok
• detour shield
• devil's-food cake
• devil-summoning hat
• deviled candy egg
• deviled egg
• diabolic pizza cube
• diabolical crossbow
• diamond necklace
• diamondback skin
• dice belt buckle
• dice ring
• dice sunglasses
• dice-print do-rag
• dice-print pajama pants
• dice-shaped backpack
• digital underground potion
• diluted makeup
• dinged-up triangle
• dirt julep
• dirty bottlecap
• dirty martini
• discarded button
• discarded swimming trunks
• disco biscuit
• disco horoscope (Aquarius)
• disco horoscope (Aries)
• disco horoscope (Cancer)
• disco horoscope (Capricorn)
• disco horoscope (Gemini)
• disco horoscope (Leo)
• disco horoscope (Libra)
• disco horoscope (Pisces)
• disco horoscope (Sagittarius)
• disco horoscope (Scorpio)
• disco horoscope (Taurus)
• disco horoscope (Virgo)
• discocktail
• disconnected intergnat
• disembodied smile
• disintegrating barrel
• disintegrating spiky collar
• distilled resin
• divine champagne flute
• divine champagne popper
• diving muff
• do-it-yourself laser eye surgery kit
• dog ointment
• doll house
• doll-eye amulet
• dollar sign
• dollhive
• dollop of barbecue sauce
• doppelshifter egg
• double daisy
• double entendre
• double-candied yams
• double-ice box
• double-ice britches
• double-ice cap
• double-ice gum
• doubt cannon
• dove DNA
• drafty drawers
• dragonfish caviar
• dread tarragon
• dreadful box
• dreadful fedora
• dreadful glove
• dreadful sweater
• dreaming Jung man
• dried gelatinous cube
• drink chit
• dripping meat crossbow
• dripping meat staff
• dripping meat sword
• drippy bezoar
• drippy bromide
• drippy candy bar
• drippy caviar
• drippy diadem
• drippy enzyme
• drippy flux
• drippy grub
• drippy ichor
• drippy khakis
• drippy nugget
• drippy orb
• drippy pigment
• drippy pilsner
• drippy plum(?)
• drippy salt
• drippy seed
• drippy shield
• drippy snail shell
• drippy staff
• drippy stake
• drippy stein
• drippy truncheon
• drive-by shooting
• dromedary drinking helmet
• droppable microphone
• dropped scrap of paper
• drum of pomade
• dry cleaning receipt
• dubious loincloth
• dubious peppermint
• duck-on-a-string
• duct tape fedora
• duct tape wallet
• dueling turtle
• dungeon dragon chest
• dusty Crimbo crate
• dusty animal skull
• dusty barrel
• dusty bottle of blood
• dusty eleventh thoracic vertebra
• dusty left clavicle
• dusty left eighth rib
• dusty left eleventh rib
• dusty left first front claw
• dusty left fourth rear claw
• dusty left fourth rib
• dusty left humerus
• dusty left sixth rib
• dusty left tenth rib
• dusty left third rib
• dusty left twelfth rib
• dusty right clavicle
• dusty right eighth rib
• dusty right femur
• dusty right fourth front claw
• dusty right fourth rear claw
• dusty right second front claw
• dusty right sixth rib
• dusty right tenth rib
• dusty right third front claw
• dusty right twelfth rib
• dusty right ulna
• dusty second cervical vertebra
• dusty seventh cervical vertebra
• dusty sixth caudal vertebra
• dusty sixth lumbar vertebra
• dusty tenth thoracic vertebra
• dusty third caudal vertebra
• dwarvish war helmet
• dwarvish war kilt
• dwarvish war mattock
• eXtreme meat staff
• eXtreme nose ring
• ear candle
• earthenware muffin tin
• eau de mort
• ectoplasm au jus
• ectoplasmic paste
• eel battery
• eel sauce
• eelskin hat
• eelskin pants
• eelskin shield
• eerie fetish
• eerily silent box
• effluvious emerald
• egg gun
• eggman noodles
• eldritch concentrate
• eldritch distillate
• eldritch elixir
• eldritch essence
• eldritch hammer
• eldritch hat
• eldritch mushroom
• eldritch pants
• eldritch rub
• eldritch scanner
• eldritch tincture
• eldritch tincture (depleted)
• electric Kool-Aid
• electric mushroom
• electrician's hardhat
• electronic Brain Trainer game
• electronic dulcimer pants
• elemental paste
• elevenderizing hammer
• elevennis shoes
• elevent
• elf army field rations
• elf ploughshare
• elf sleeper agent
• elven tambourine
• elven whittling knife
• ember egg
• embering hunk
• emergency glowstick
• emo roe
• emotion chip
• empty Rain-Doh can
• empty blowgun
• empty hourglass
• empty lava bottle
• enchanted fire extinguisher
• encoder ring
• energized spores
• enhanced signal receiver
• envelope full of Meat
• epic cluster
• epic wad
• equal sign
• escargotsicle
• essential cameraderie
• essential soy
• essential tofu
• etched hourglass
• eternal car battery
• eternal knot tattoo
• even more tinsel
• everfull glass
• evil flaming eyeball pendant
• evil golden arches
• evil teddy bear
• evil teddy bear sewing kit
• evil-ass club
• exactly-three-shaped box
• exclusive club
• exclusive ultra-rare item
• exo-xo-skeleton-skeleton
• exotic orchid
• exotic parrot egg
• expensive champagne
• expensive cigar
• experimental carbon fiber pasta additive
• expired MRE
• expired bottle of peppermint schnapps
• expired can of franks 'n' beans
• exploding cigar
• exploding gum
• extra DNA
• extra ooze
• extra special Crimbo stocking
• extra time
• extra-greasy slider
• extra-grubby grub
• extra-hard jawbreaker
• extra-heavy BRICKO brick
• extra-see-thru nightie
• extra-strength goo
• extra-strength rubber bands
• extra-toasted half sandwich
• extremely confusing manual
• extremely skinny jeans
• extremely slippery nipple
• eye 'n' horn shampoo
• eye-pod
• eyedrops of the ocelot
• faded green protest sign
• fairy-worn boots
• fake fake vomit
• fake hand
• fake plastic grass
• fake washboard
• false eyelashes
• familiar scrapbook
• fancy ball mask
• fancy beef jerky
• fancy black tie
• fancy but probably evil chocolate
• fancy canapés
• fancy chess set
• fancy chocolate car
• fancy chocolate sculpture
• fancy party pants
• fancy tophat
• fancy tuxedo pants
• farfalle bow tie
• fascinating alien plant sample
• fascinating alien zoological sample
• fat wallet
• fear condenser
• feathered headdress
• festive egg sac
• festive holiday hat
• festive warbear bank
• fettucini épines Inconnu
• fettucini épines Inconnu recipe
• fetus-smashing club
• fez of etymology
• fiberglass fannypack
• fiberglass fedora
• fiberglass fetish
• fiberglass fingerguard
• fiberglass foil
• fiberglass frock
• fiberglass insulation
• figurine of a cute baby seal
• figurine of an ancient seal
• filigreed hamethyst necklace
• filigreed hamethyst ring
• fin-bit wax
• finger cuffs
• finger exerciser
• fire ant pheromones
• fire axe
• fire crackers
• fire hose
• fire-roasted lake trout
• fireman's helmet
• fireman's lunch
• fireproof skip lid
• fish bazooka
• fish head
• fish sauce
• fish stick cozy
• fishbone bracers
• fishbone catcher's mitt
• fishbone corset
• fishbone facemask
• fishbone fins
• fishbone kneepads
• fishcake
• fishin' hat
• fishy paste
• fishy pipe
• fist turkey outline
• fistful of ashes
• fistful of wood shavings
• fitness wristband
• five-fingered fern resin
• fixodent
• flagellate soup
• flagstone fez
• flagstone flag
• flagstone flagments
• flagstone flail
• flagstone fleece
• flagstone flip-flops
• flagstone fringe
• flame orb
• flaming familiar doppelgänger
• flaming glowsticks
• flaming juggler's balls
• flaming leaf crown
• flaming mushroom wine
• flaming nose
• flaming pink shirt
• flamingo mallet
• flapper floppers
• flapper fly
• flashing novelty button
• flask of Amontillado
• flask of Gnomochloric acid
• flask of embalming fluid
• flask of moonshine
• flask of port
• flat dough
• fleshy lump
• floaty inverse geode
• floaty rock helmet
• floaty rock necklace
• floaty rock pants
• floaty stone sphere
• floral print shirt
• fluid of fudge-finding
• flyest of shirts
• flypaper staff
• foam commodore's hat
• foam naval trousers
• foam pistol
• foggy glass globe
• foie gras
• folder (Ex-Files)
• folder (Jackass Plumber)
• folder (KOLHS)
• folder (Knight Writer)
• folder (Stinky Trash Kid)
• folder (Yedi)
• folder (barbarian)
• folder (blue)
• folder (catfish)
• folder (cyan)
• folder (dancing dolphins)
• folder (green)
• folder (heavy metal)
• folder (holographic fractal)
• folder (magenta)
• folder (owl)
• folder (rainbow unicorn)
• folder (skull and crossbones)
• folder (sports car)
• folder (sportsballs)
• folder (tranquil landscape)
• folder (wizard)
• folder (yellow)
• food drive button
• food mailing list
• foon of fleshiness
• foon of foulness
• foon of frigidity
• foon of fulmination
• foot-long hot daub
• football helmet
• forbidden danish
• forbidden sausage
• foreign box
• forest canopy bed
• fortifying hot cocoa
• fossilized baboon skull
• fossilized bat skull
• fossilized demon skull
• fossilized necklace
• fossilized serpent skull
• fossilized spider skull
• fossilized wyrm skull
• fragile Christmas ornament
• fragment of Jarlsberg's soul
• frankincenser
• free boots
• free-range mushroom
• freezer-burned frost-bitten tortellini
• french-fry grabber
• fresh can of paint
• fresh coat of paint
• frigid derringer
• frigid mote
• frigid-ass club
• frog lip-print
• frontwinder skin
• frost flower
• frost-rimed desk bell
• frosty halo
• frozen danish
• frozen seal spine
• frozen shampoo-conditioner
• frozen tofu pop
• fruit bat
• fruit bowl
• fruit-stuffed rumcake
• fruity pebble
• fry-oil-flavored Hob-O
• frying brainpan
• fudge bunny
• fudge cube
• fudge pocket square
• fudge spork
• fudge-shaped hole in space-time
• fudgecycle
• full lava bottle
• fumble formula
• funhouse mirror
• funky brass fez
• funny paper hat
• furry green earmuffs
• furry halo
• furry kilt
• fustulent seal grulch
• future drug: Smartinex
• fuzzy bracelets
• fuzzy polar bear ears
• gabardine gaiters
• gabardine garibaldi
• gabardine garland
• gabardine girdle
• gabardine gloves
• gabardine gunnysack
• gabardine smithereens
• gaffer's tape
• ganger bandana
• garbage sticker
• garbage-juice-flavored Hob-O
• gasmask
• gator shades
• gattoo
• gazely stare
• gazing shoes
• gearbox necklace
• gelatinous meat mass
• generic healing potion
• generic mana potion
• genie bottle
• genie's pants
• genie's scimitar
• ghast iron Garibaldi
• ghast iron codpiece
• ghast iron heater shield
• ghast iron ingot
• ghost bit
• ghost pencil
• ghost protocol
• ghost shawl
• ghost trap
• ghostly body paint
• ghostly dagger
• giant O
• giant X
• giant book of ancient carols
• giant candy cane
• giant cheesestick
• giant free-range mushroom
• giant glass of brandy
• giant pearl
• giant shrimp fork
• giant stuffed bugbear
• giant yellow gummi ingot
• gift-a-pult
• gilded BRICKO brick
• gilded BRICKO chalice
• gilded ancient cursed chest
• gilded ancient cursed key
• gilded lily
• gilded trumpet
• ginger beer
• gingerbeard
• gingerbread cigarette
• gingerbread dog treat
• gingerbread gavel
• gingerbread hoodie
• gingerbread horror
• gingerbread house
• gingerbread mask
• gingerbread moneybag
• gingerbread mug
• gingerbread mutant bugbear
• gingerbread pirate
• gingerbread pistol
• gingerbread restraining order
• gingerbread robot
• gingerbread spice latte
• gingerbread tophat
• gingerbread trousers
• gingerbread waistcoat
• gingernade
• gingerservo
• ginseng
• glacial clock
• glacial sapphire
• gladiator tunica
• glass eye
• glass gnoll eye
• glass of "milk"
• glass of drippy wine
• glass of raw eggs
• glass slipper
• glimmering buzzard feather
• glimmering great tit feather
• glimmering penguin feather
• glimmering phoenix feather
• glimmering raven feather
• glimmering roc feather
• glistening staff
• glob of extra-green chlorophyll
• glob of undifferentiated tissue
• gloomy black mushroom
• gloomy mushroom wine
• glow-in-the-dark dart gun
• glow-in-the-dark necklace
• glow-in-the-dark stuffed burrowgrub
• glow-in-the-dark wristwatch
• glowing El Vibrato drone
• glowing New Age crystal
• glowing esca
• glowing frisbee
• glyph of athleticism
• gnashing teeth
• gnatwing earring
• gnauga hide buckler
• gnauga hide chaps
• gnauga hide skirt
• gnawed-up dog bone
• go-go potion
• goblin bone hilt
• goblin collarbone
• goblin paste
• gold skull ring
• gold tooth
• golden banana
• golden monkey statuette
• golden pet rock
• golden plastic oyster egg
• golden ring
• golden sausage
• golden tattoo gun
• goo magnet
• goodberry
• gooey drippy candy bar
• gooey lava globs
• gooey paste
• googly chest eyes
• googly-ball hat
• googly-heart hat
• googly-star hat
• gory drippy orb
• government
• government booze shipment
• government cheese
• government food shipment
• government per-diem
• government requisition form
• government-issued candy
• government-issued eyeshade
• government-issued necktie
• government-issued night-vision goggles
• government-issued slacks
• governor's daughter's lace collar
• governor's daughter's pearl hairpin
• governor's daughter's petticoats
• grandfather watch
• grape troll doll
• grass blade
• grass clippings
• grass hat
• grass skirt
• graveyard snowglobe
• gravy boat
• gravyskin buckler
• gravyskin hat
• gravyskin pants
• gravyskin skirt
• gray bow tie
• gray seashell
• grease cannon
• greasy desk bell
• greasy paste
• great old fashioned
• greedy ghostling
• green BRICKO brick
• green LavaCo Lamp™
• green balloon
• green candygram
• green cloth cap
• green eggnog
• green face paint
• green glowstick
• green hamhock
• green lava globs
• green marshmallow
• green pill
• green pixie spog
• green rock candy
• green seashell
• green slime glob
• green traffic cone
• green-iced sweet roll
• gregarious ghostling
• grey cube
• grey down vest
• grey gosling
• grilled mooseflank
• grim fairy tale
• grimstone galoshes
• grimstone mask
• grinning ghostling
• grinning turtle
• grip key
• grisly shield
• grizzled bearskin
• grog nuts
• groggles
• grogtini
• groovy prism necklace
• grouper fangirl
• groveling gravel
• grubby wool
• grubby wool beerwarmer
• grubby wool gloves
• grubby wool hat
• grubby wool scarf
• grubby wool trousers
• grubby woolball
• guancertina
• guffin
• guild application
• guilty sprout
• gummi ammonite
• gummi belemnite
• gummi bowtie
• gummi fang
• gummi sword
• gummi trilobite
• gumshoes
• gun cleaning kit
• gun parts
• gunpowder burrito
• gunwale
• gunwale whalegun
• guts necklace
• gym membership card
• gym shorts
• gyroscope
• haggis-infused soap
• haggis-wrapped haggis-stuffed haggis
• haiku katana
• hair of the calf
• half-digested coal
• half-empty carton of milk
• half-height cigar
• half-height unicycle
• hamethyst bracelet
• hamethyst ring
• hamethyst-handled sixgun
• hammerus
• hand of Mr. Cards
• hand of cards
• hand turkey outline
• hand-carved bokken
• hand-carved bow
• hand-carved staff
• hand-crafted candy cane
• hand-knitted Crimbo socks
• hand-knitted diving booties
• handful of Crotchety Pine needles
• handful of Laughing Willow bark
• handful of bees
• handful of crafty noodles
• handful of honey
• handful of juicy garbage
• handful of napalm
• handful of numbers
• handful of split pea soup
• handful of toilet paper
• handmade hobby horse
• hangman's hood
• hard rock
• hardboiled egg
• hardened slime belt
• hardened slime hat
• hardened slime pants
• hardening cream
• hardware upgrade
• hare brush
• hare pin
• harpoon
• haunted bindle
• haunted doghouse
• hazardous sauce dosimeter
• hazmat helmet
• head of emberg lettuce
• head-mounted Trainbot
• heart of dark chocolate
• heart of rock and roll
• heart-shaped balloon
• heart-shaped crate
• heat-resistant necktie
• heavy duty umbrella
• heavy hot sauce
• heavy leather-bound tome
• heavy-duty Crimbot aerial
• helm of the white knight
• hemlock helm
• hemp backpack
• henna tattoo
• hep waders
• hermedisiac cologne
• heteroerotic frat-paddle
• hewn moon-rune spoon
• hi-octane carrot juice
• hibernating Grimstone Golem
• hibernating robot reindeer
• hideous egg
• high-end ginger wine
• high-energy mining laser
• high-pressure seltzer bottle
• high-resistance ultrapolymer plating
• high-speed upgrade
• high-temperature mining drill
• high-temperature mining mask
• high-test fishing line
• hippo tutu
• hippo whip
• hippopotamus pants
• hippopotamus skirt
• hipposkin poncho
• hippy paste
• hipster cocktail
• hoarded candy wad
• hobo code binder
• hobo dungarees
• hobo fortress blueprints
• hobo monkey
• hobo paste
• hobo stogie
• hockey stick of furious angry rage
• holiday log
• holiday smorgasbord
• holiday trip around the world
• hollow rock
• holly-flavored Hob-O
• holo-bomber
• holo-platoon
• holo-tank
• holy bomb, batman
• homeless hobo spirit
• homemade robot
• homemade robot gear
• homeopathic mint tea
• honey bun of Boris
• honey dipper
• honey mead
• honeybritches
• honeycap
• honeypot
• hopeful candle
• hot button candy
• hot cluster
• hot clusterbomb
• hot cocoa au beurre
• hot cocoa with rainbow marshmallows
• hot cross bow
• hot daub bun
• hot daub stand
• hot egg
• hot-ass club
• hothammer
• hourglass
• house of twigs and spit
• house-sized mushroom
• housekeeping automa-core
• hovering sombrero
• human musk
• humble pie
• humming El Vibrato drone
• hungover chauvinist pig
• hyperbolic plasma focuser
• hyperinflated seal lung
• hypnodisk
• iFlail
• iShield
• ice baby
• ice cream sandwich
• ice house
• ice pick
• ice rice
• ice sickle
• ice skate decoy
• ice skates
• ice-cold six-pack
• iceberg lettuce
• iceberglet
• iced-out bling
• icicle katana
• icing poncho
• igloo pie
• imbued seal-blubber candle
• imitation nice watch
• imitation whetstone
• immense ballet shoes
• immense cyborg hand
• immense free-range mushroom
• imported lemon lozenge
• imported taffy
• in-the-box spring shoes
• incense bath ball
• incredibly creepy marionette
• incredibly dense meat gem
• indescribably horrible paste
• indie comic hipster glasses
• industrial fire extinguisher
• industrial frosting
• industrial lubricant
• industrial strength anti-fungal spray
• inert sludgepuppy
• infant sandworm
• infernal snowball
• infernal toilet brush
• infinite BACON machine
• inflammable leaf
• inflatable LT&T telegraph office
• inflatable baseball bat
• innuendo
• insane tophat
• insulated gold wire
• insulting hat
• intact medium-wave antenna
• interesting clod of dirt
• intergalactic pom poms
• interrogative elixir
• intimidating coiffure
• intricate clockwork big hand
• intricate clockwork birdhouse
• intricate clockwork cuckoo
• intricate clockwork disc
• intricate clockwork egg
• intricate clockwork little hand
• intricate clockwork numeral I
• intricate clockwork numeral II
• intricate clockwork numeral III
• intricate clockwork numeral IV
• intricate clockwork numeral IX
• intricate clockwork numeral V
• intricate clockwork numeral VI
• intricate clockwork numeral VII
• intricate clockwork numeral VIII
• intricate clockwork numeral X
• intricate clockwork numeral XI
• intricate clockwork numeral XII
• intricate music box parts
• intriguing puzzle box
• invisibility potion
• ion grid
• ion-pulse modulation stabilizer
• iron chain
• iron dagger
• iron helmet
• ironic battle spoon
• ironic jogging shorts
• ironic oversized sunglasses
• irradiated pet snacks
• irresistibility potion
• irritability potion
• isotophat
• ittah bittah hookah
• jalapeño slices
• jangly spurs
• jar of anniversary jam
• jar of frostigkraut
• jar of magical relish
• jar of psychoses (Jick)
• jar of psychoses (The Captain of the Gourd)
• jar of psychoses (The Crackpot Mystic)
• jar of psychoses (The Meatsmith)
• jar of psychoses (The Old Man)
• jar of psychoses (The Pretentious Artist)
• jar of psychoses (The Suspicious-Looking Guy)
• jazz soap
• jerky coins
• jewel-eyed wizard hat
• jingle bell
• jitterbug larva
• jolly roger tattoo kit
• joybuzzer
• jug of Sneaky Pete's Mojo
• jug of baconstone juice
• juggling ball
• juniper berries
• kelp
• kelp-holly drape
• kelp-holly gun
• kerosene-soaked skip
• kevlateflocite helmet
• kickback cookbook
• kill screen
• killer rag doll
• king cookie
• kite
• kitten burglar
• kitty sheet music
• knight cookie
• knobby kneepads
• kobold treasure hoard
• kumquartz
• kumquartz ring
• kumquat supersucker
• labrador cookie
• ladle of mystery
• large pile of sand
• large stone triangle
• laser cannon
• laser targeting chip
• latte lovers club card
• latte lovers member's mug
• lava balaclava
• lava-proof pants
• lavalarva
• lavender candygram
• lavender plastic oyster egg
• law-abiding citizen cane
• lawn dart
• lead collar
• lead umbrella
• leaf
• leafy browns
• leather aviator's cap
• leather bookmark
• left bear arm
• left bracket
• left half of a heart necklace
• left-handed melodica
• leftover Crimbo rations
• leftover chocolate bar
• leftover pasty
• leg-mounted Trainbots
• leggings of the Spider Queen
• lemonhead caviar
• lemony scales
• length of string
• leprechaun hatchling
• less-than-three-shaped box
• letterman's jacket
• li'l candy corn costume
• li'l ghost costume
• li'l knight costume
• li'l orphan tot
• li'l unicorn costume
• liar's pants
• library card
• licorice garrote
• licorice whip
• lifeless meat doll
• lime supersucker
• limepatch
• linoleum crossbow
• linoleum crossbow string
• linoleum helmet turtle
• linoleum meat stack
• linoleum staff
• linoleum stick
• linoleum sword
• lion musk
• liquid SONAR
• liquid rhinestones
• liquid shifting time weirdness
• liquid smoke
• lit leaf lasso
• little box of fireworks
• little deuce cape
• little firkin
• little parachute guy
• little piece of steel
• little wooden mannequin
• live nautical mine
• live wire
• liver and let pie
• llama lama cria
• loaded serum blowgun
• loaf of alien bread
• locked mumming trunk
• lodestone
• logic synthesizer
• lollipop cufflinks
• long-forgotten necklace
• long-stemmed rose
• longbox of Batfellow comics
• loofah ladle
• loofah lavalier
• loofah lederhosen
• loofah legwarmers
• loofah lei
• loofah lumberjack's hat
• loofah lumps
• loose blade
• loose purse strings
• love
• love song of sugary cuteness
• love song of vague ambiguity
• lovecat tail
• low tide martini
• lowercase a
• lucky Tam O'Shanter
• lucky Tam O'Shatner
• lucky army helmet
• lucky ball-and-chain
• lucky cat collar
• lucky cat statue
• lucky cat's paw
• lucky gold ring
• lucky moai statuette
• lucky napkin
• lucky rabbitfish fin
• lucky-ish pill
• lump of bauxite
• lump of black ichor
• lump of loyal latite
• lump of not really wriggling eldritch matter
• lupine appetite hormones
• lustrous drippy orb
• lustrous oyster egg
• luxury fly-tying workbench
• machetito
• machine elf capsule
• macroplane grater
• mafia middle finger ring
• mafia organizer badge
• mafia pinky ring
• mafia pointer finger ring
• mafia wedding ring
• magenta seashell
• magic dragonfish fry
• magic lamp
• magical battery
• magical ice cube with a fly in it
• magical pony: Dusk Shiny
• magical pony: Pearjack
• magical pony: Rosey Cake
• magical pony: Shutterfly
• magical pony: Spectrum Dash
• magical pony: Uniquity
• magnetic field
• magnifying glass
• magnolia blossom
• magnum of fancy champagne
• maid head
• makeshift cape
• makeshift castanets
• makeshift crane
• makeshift sixgun
• makeshift turban
• malevolent medallion
• mana-basted tofurkey leg
• mana-fortified cranberry sauce
• mandarina colada with a fly in it
• manly bloomers
• mannequin leg
• map to Anemone Mine
• map to Dolph Bossin's hideout
• map to Madness Reef
• map to a candy-rich block
• map to the Cursed Village
• map to the Dive Bar
• map to the Marinara Trench
• map to the Mystic Wood
• map to the Putrid Swamp
• map to the Skate Park
• map to the Sprawling Cemetery
• map to the Towering Mountains
• marble maebari
• marble magnet
• marble mantle
• marble mariachi hat
• marble medallion
• marble mignonette bowl
• marinara jug
• marine aquamarine
• marionette
• marionette collective
• marshmallow bomb
• marshmallow flambé
• marshroom
• martiny
• mass of wriggling tentacles
• massive wrench
• mauve striped oyster egg
• mayfly bait necklace
• mayo pump
• meadeorite
• meat face
• meat golem
• meat st‰¿bing club
• meatball machine
• meatloaf helmet
• meatsmithing guide
• meatspout staff
• mechanically-mulled cider
• medium slimy cyst
• medium stone triangle
• melty plastic grenade
• memory of a CA base pair
• memory of a CG base pair
• memory of a CT base pair
• memory of a GT base pair
• memory of an AG base pair
• memory of an AT base pair
• menorette
• mercenary pistol
• mermaid's purse
• messenger bag RNA
• metal mandible
• metallic foil bow
• metallic foil cat ears
• metallic foil radar dish
• metandienone
• meteor shower cap
• meteorb
• meteorite earring
• meteorite fragment
• meteorite guard
• meteorite necklace
• meteorite ring
• meteortarboard
• meteorthopedic shoes
• metrognome
• micronova
• microwave stogie
• midget clownfish
• milestone
• military candy cane
• mime army camouflage kit
• mime army challenge coin
• mime army infiltration glove
• mime army insignia (cryonics)
• mime army insignia (espionage)
• mime army insignia (infantry)
• mime army insignia (intelligence)
• mime army insignia (morale)
• mime army insignia (psychological warfare)
• mime army insignia (pyrotechnics)
• mime army insignia (sanitation)
• mime army rations
• mime army shotglass
• mime army superserum
• mime eraser
• mime pocket probe
• mime-proof sunglasses
• mimeplasm
• miming beret
• miming boots
• miming corduroys
• miming gloves
• miming shirt
• mini kiwi
• mini kiwi aioli
• mini kiwi antimilitaristic hippy petition
• mini kiwi bikini
• mini kiwi digitized cookies
• mini kiwi egg
• mini kiwi icepick
• mini kiwi illicit antibiotic
• mini kiwi intoxicating spirits
• mini kiwi invisible dirigible
• mini kiwi silicon tiepin
• mini kiwi tipi
• mini kiwi whipping stick
• mini kiwi-flavored aspirin-injecting lipstick
• mini kiwitini
• mini-Mr. Accessory
• mini-marshmallow dispenser
• mini-zeppelin
• miniature Embering Hulk
• miniature Jacob's ladder
• miniature antlers
• miniature castagnets
• miniature coffin
• miniature crystal ball
• miniature deck cannon
• miniature dormouse
• miniature espresso maker
• miniature goose mask
• miniature gravy-covered maypole
• miniature power pill
• miniature pruning shears
• miniature stuffed Goth Giant
• miniature tophat
• miniscule beatbox
• miniscule temporal rip
• mint condition Lil' Doctor™ bag
• mint condition magnifying glass
• mint-condition magic wand
• mint-in-box Powerful Glove
• mirrored aviator shades
• misfit dolly
• misfit hobby horse
• misfit teddy bear
• misshapen animal skeleton
• missing semicolon
• missing wine
• moaiball
• model train set
• modern picture frame
• moist barrel
• moist sack
• mole molé
• mole skin notebook
• molehill mountain
• molten medallion
• monster bait
• monstrous monocle
• mood ring
• moomy dust
• moon-amber
• moon-amber necklace
• moreltini
• moss floss
• moss mace
• moss mantle
• moss marlinspike
• moss medal
• moss megaphone
• moss mitre
• moss mulch
• mostly rat-hide leggings
• mother's necklace
• mother's secret recipe
• mouldering barrel
• mountain lion skin
• mourning wine
• mouth-watering mayolus
• moveable feast
• muculent machete
• muffled muffuletta
• mugcake
• mulberry
• mulled blood
• mulled cider
• mulled wine
• mummified entombed cookbookbat
• mumming trunk
• mummy costume
• murderbot live wire
• murderbot mask
• murderbot plasma rifle
• murderbot shield unit
• mushroom slab
• mushroom tea
• mushroom whiskey
• muskox-skin cap
• musty moccasins
• mutant arm
• mutant cactus bud
• mutant crown
• mutant fire ant egg
• mutant gila monster egg
• mutant legs
• mutant rattlesnake egg
• mutated candy lump
• myrrh pouch
• myrrh-soaked, chocolate-covered bacon bath ball
• mysterious chest
• nachos of the night
• nailswurst
• name change form
• nanite-infested eggnog
• nanite-infested fruitcake
• nanite-infested gingerbread bugbear
• nanofiber cloth
• nanorhino credit card
• nasty desk bell
• nasty-ass club
• nativity shorts
• natto pocky
• natural magick candle
• naughty fortune teller
• naughty origami kit
• naughty paper shuriken
• navel ring of navel gazing
• neck wreath
• necrotizing body spray
• neg grog
• nega-mushroom wine
• negotiatin' hammer
• neoprene skullcap
• nervous tick egg
• nest egg
• new habit
• newborn kobold
• newly-hatched mayonnaise wasp
• nice warm beer
• nicksilver ring
• nicksilver spurs
• night-vision goggles
• ninja pirate zombie robot
• ninja pirate zombie robot head
• ninjammies
• noir fedora
• non-Euclidean angle
• normal barrel
• norwhal helmet
• nosy nose ringy ring
• not-a-pipe
• note from Clancy
• nothing-in-the-box-in-the-box
• nothingtini
• novelty monorail ticket
• novelty tattoo sleeves
• noxious gas grenade
• nozzle of the Phoenix
• nuclear stockpile
• nugget of quicksilver
• nugget of slicksilver
• nugget of ticksilver
• nugget of wicksilver
• numberwang
• nutcracking pliers
• nylon Christmas stockings
• obnoxious riddle
• obsidian nutcracker
• occult jelly donut
• octolus-skin cloak
• odor extractor
• off-hand balloon
• offensive moustache
• officer's nog
• oil of expertise
• oil-filled donut
• oily golden mushroom
• oily paste
• ointment of the occult
• old ball and chain
• old coin purse
• old dry bone
• old love note
• old patched suit-pants
• old school Mafia knickerbockers
• old school beer pull tab
• old school calculator watch
• old school flying disc
• old soft shoes
• old-school pirate grog
• one million meat pancakes
• one piece of bubble gum
• one-day ticket to Conspiracy Island
• one-day ticket to Dinseylandfill
• one-day ticket to Spring Break Beach
• one-day ticket to That 70s Volcano
• one-day ticket to The Glaciest
• onyx bishop
• onyx king
• onyx knight
• onyx pawn
• onyx queen
• onyx rook
• oozenog
• optimal spreadsheet
• orange boxing gloves
• orange candygram
• orange glowstick
• orange slime glob
• orange traffic cone
• orc paste
• organ grinder
• organic potpourri
• origami "gentlemen's" magazine
• origami pasties
• origami riding crop
• oriole-feather headdress
• ornamental sextant
• ornate ancient cursed chest
• ornate ancient cursed key
• orphan baby yeti
• out-of-work circus flea
• outlaw bandana
• outrageous sombrero
• over-the-shoulder Folder Holder
• overcharged El Vibrato power sphere
• overclocked avian microprocessor
• overflowing gift basket
• overloaded Yule battery
• overloaded short-pulse transistor
• overly-fancy hot cocoa
• oversized fish scaler
• oversized ice molecule
• oversized snowflake
• oxygenated eggnog helmet
• oyster egg balloon
• pacification grenade
• pack of pogs
• packaged Daylight Shavings Helmet
• packaged Everfull Dart Holster
• packaged June cleaver
• packaged Jurassic Parka
• packaged Pocket Professor
• packaged Roman Candelabra
• packaged SpinMaster™ lathe
• packaged backup camera
• packaged cold medicine cabinet
• packaged familiar scrapbook
• packaged industrial fire extinguisher
• packaged knock-off retro superhero cape
• packaged luxury garment
• packaged miniature crystal ball
• packaged model train set
• packet of beer seeds
• packet of dragon's teeth
• packet of mayfly bait
• packet of mushroom spores
• packet of orchid seeds
• packet of pumpkin seeds
• packet of rock seeds
• packet of tall grass seeds
• packet of thanksgarden seeds
• packet of winter seeds
• paint palette
• painted shield
• pair of candy glasses
• pair of government shades
• pair of ragged claws
• pair of scissors
• pair of twitching claws
• palm-frond capris
• palm-frond net
• palm-frond toupee
• panicked kernel
• pantogram
• paperclip
• paperclip cape
• paperclip pants
• paperclip sproinger
• paperclip turban
• paperclip-on tie
• papier-mâché base
• papier-mâché bowl
• papier-mâché glob
• papier-mâché handle
• papier-mâché plaque
• papier-mâché toothpicks
• papier-mâché trophy piñata
• papier-mâchéte
• papier-mâchaeranthera
• papier-mâchine gun
• papier-mâchuridars
• papier-masque
• papier-mitre
• papier-mochi
• papotion of papower
• paraffin palazzos
• paraffin pendant
• paraffin pieces
• paraffin pith helmet
• paraffin poncho
• paraffin pseudoaccordion
• paraffin punching bag
• paranormal ricotta
• parasitic headgnawer
• parasitic strangleworm
• parasitic tentacles
• party beer bomb
• party crasher
• party mouse hat
• party platter for one
• party pup
• party whip
• passed-out psychedelic bear
• pat of butter
• pat-a-cake pendant
• patch of extra-warm fur
• patent aggression tonic
• patent antipsychotics
• patent avarice tonic
• patent invisibility tonic
• patent leather shoes
• patent sallowness tonic
• pea brittle
• peace shooter
• peace turkey outline
• peanut sauce
• pear supersucker
• pearidot
• pearl diver's necklace
• pearl diver's ring
• peasco sour
• peaza
• pebble of proud pyrite
• penguin paste
• penguin thesaurus
• penguin whip
• penguin-smacking club
• penguinskin mini-kilt
• penguinskin mini-skirt
• peppermint crook
• peppermint donut
• peppermint harpoon gun
• peppermint parasol
• peppermint patty
• peppermint rhino baby
• peppermint spine
• peppermint sprig
• peppermint syrup
• peppermint tack
• perfect Christmas scarf
• perfectly fair coin
• perfectly ordinary frog
• perl necklace
• pernicious cudgel
• perpendicular hula with a fly in it
• personal raindrop
• personalized birthday cake
• personalized wassail stein
• pestoblade
• pet anchor
• pet anemone
• pet bad vibe
• pet rock
• pet rock "Groucho" disguise
• pet rock "Snooty" disguise
• petit 4.1
• petrified noodles
• petrified time
• petrified wood
• pewter candlestick
• pewter shavings
• phase-tuned shield generator belt
• phat turquoise bracelet
• phial of coldness
• phial of hotness
• phial of sleaziness
• phial of spookiness
• phial of stench
• phish stick
• photo booth sized crate
• picky tweezers
• picture of you
• piece of cake
• piece of coral
• piece of driftwood
• pig-iron bracers
• pig-iron helm
• pig-iron shinguards
• pile of dirt
• pile of gritty sand
• pile of loose snow
• pile of smoking rags
• pilgrim shield
• pimpin' meat hat
• pine cone
• ping-pong paddle
• pink candygram
• pink glowstick
• pink pinkslip slip
• pink plastic baby
• pink-belly slapper
• pint of sweat
• pipe wrench
• piping organ pie
• piracetam
• piranha pollen
• pirate brochure
• pirate encryption key (complete)
• pirate encryption key alpha
• pirate encryption key bravo
• pirate encryption key charlie
• pirate encryption key delta
• pirate fork
• pirate hook
• pirate pamphlet
• pirate pantaloons
• pirate paste
• pirate radio ring
• pirate shaving cream
• pirate shirt
• pirate skull
• pirate zombie head
• pirate zombie robot head
• piratical blunderbuss
• pirrrate's currrse
• piscatini
• pixel banana
• pixel beer
• pixel chain whip
• pixel coin
• pixel daiquiri
• pixel energy tank
• pixel grappling hook
• pixel morning star
• pixel orb
• pixel pants
• pixel pill
• pixel rock
• pixel shield
• pixel star
• pixel stopwatch
• pixel whip
• pixellated moneybag
• pixie axie
• plaid cowboy hat
• plaid skirt
• plain brown wrapper
• plain calzone
• plain paper hat
• plans for depleted Grimacite astrolabe
• plans for depleted Grimacite grappling hook
• plans for depleted Grimacite gravy boat
• plans for depleted Grimacite hammer
• plans for depleted Grimacite ninja mask
• plans for depleted Grimacite shinguards
• plans for depleted Grimacite weightlifting belt
• plastic Crimbo reindeer
• plastic bazooka
• plastic bib
• plastic cup of beer
• plastic cup of flat beer
• plastic doll arms
• plastic doll legs
• plastic piranha pot
• plastic pirate hat
• plastic pumpkin bucket
• plastic spider ring
• plastic vampire fangs
• plate of Frigid Northern Beans
• plate of Mixed Garbanzos and Chickpeas
• plate of Pork 'n' Pork 'n' Pork 'n' Beans
• plate of Shrub's Premium Baked Beans
• plate of Tesla's Electroplated Beans
• plate of Trader Olaf's Exotic Stinkbeans
• plate of Val-U Brand Every Bean Salad
• plexifoam chin strap
• plexiglass pendant
• plexiglass pinky ring
• plexiglass pocketwatch
• plumber's lunch
• plump free-range mushroom
• plump juicy grub
• plush alielf
• plush alien hamsterpus
• plush dogcat
• plush ferrelf
• plush hamsterpus
• plush mutated alielephant
• plush mutated alielf
• plush sea serpent
• pocket ace
• pocket lint (blue)
• pocket lint (green)
• pocket lint (orange)
• pocket lint (white)
• pocketwatch on a chain
• pog #02 (Knob goblin)
• pogo stick
• pointy red hat
• poison pen
• poker face paint
• polished moon-amber
• polyeaster egg
• polyester pad
• polyester panama hat
• polyester parachute
• polyester peeler
• polyester pettipants
• polyester pulsera
• polyesterene powder
• pompadour'd puppy
• poncho de azucar
• poodle skirt
• pool of liquid metal
• porcelain candy dish
• porcelain pelerine
• porcelain pepper mill
• porcelain phantom mask
• porcelain plus-fours
• porcelain police baton
• porcelain porkpie
• porquoise bracelet
• porquoise necklace
• porquoise-handled sixgun
• portable Mayo Clinic
• portable Spacegate
• portable corkscrew
• portable dam
• portable housekeeping robot
• portable pantogram
• portable photocopier
• portable ping-pong table
• portable steam unit
• portable wall
• possessed sugar cube
• possessed tomato
• potato alarm clock
• potato jacket
• potato sprout
• potent potion of potency
• potion of X-ray vision
• potion of animal rage
• potion of punctual companionship
• potion of temporary gr8ness
• potion of the captain's hammer
• potion of the field gar
• potion of the litterbox
• potted cactus
• potted fern
• potted power plant
• potted tea tree
• pottery barn owl figurine
• pottery club
• pottery hat
• pottery shield
• pottery yo-yo
• poutine pole
• powdered dice
• powdered madness
• powdered oxygen
• powdered toad horn
• power pill
• power seed
• power sock
• praying Grim Brother
• pregnant gloomy black mushroom
• pregnant oily golden mushroom
• prehistoric spear
• prescription teeth whitener
• present
• press-on ribs
• pressurized potion of perception
• pressurized potion of perspicacity
• pressurized potion of pneumaticity
• pressurized potion of puissance
• pressurized potion of pulchritude
• pretty bouquet
• priceless diamond
• primitive alien blowgun
• primitive alien booze
• primitive alien loincloth
• primitive alien mask
• primitive alien medicine
• primitive alien necklace
• primitive alien salad
• primitive alien spear
• primitive alien totem
• prismatic wad
• pristine piranha seed
• pristine walrus tusk
• profane eye patch
• prohie's hat
• projectile icemaker
• propeller beanie
• protein paste
• proto-proto-protozoa
• protonic accelerator pack
• prototype stimulant
• prussian cathouse with a fly in it
• psychedelic bubble wand
• psycho sweater
• psychoanalytic jar
• pteruges
• puce polka-dot oyster egg
• puff of smoke
• pufferfish spine
• pulled porquoise earring
• pulled porquoise pendant
• pulled porquoise ring
• pulled yellow taffy
• pump-up high-tops
• pumpkin spice whorl
• pumpkinhead mask
• punch-drunk punch
• punching mirror
• puppet strings
• purple glowstick
• purpleheart "pants"
• purpleheart logs
• putty coat
• puzzling ribbon
• puzzling trophy
• pygmy bugbear shaman
• quadroculars
• quantized familiar
• quantized familiar experience
• quantum disintegrator pistol
• quantum polarity inducer
• quantum taco
• quantum watch
• quasi-ethereal macaroni fragments
• question juice
• questionable taco
• quicksilver ring
• quicksilver spurs
• quirky accordion
• radiator heater shield
• radio button candy
• radioactive chew toy
• raffle prize box
• rag doll
• ragged wool yarn
• rainbow bomb
• rainbow crossbow
• rainbow glitter candle
• rainbow jellybean
• rainbow pearl
• rainbow pearl earring
• rainbow pearl necklace
• rainbow pearl ring
• rainbow tie
• ramekin of space nuts
• rare oboe
• raspberry beret
• rat head balloon
• ratatouille de Jarlsberg
• ratskin pajama pants
• rattler gland
• rattlesnake enrager
• raw sweet potato
• real cowboy hat
• realistic cap gun
• really nice lump of coal
• really nice net
• really really sticky spider web
• really thick bandage
• really tiny cocktail shaker
• record of infuriating silence
• record of infuriating silence (used)
• record of menacing silence
• record of tranquil silence
• record of tranquil silence (used)
• recording of Benetton's Medley of Diversity
• recording of Chorale of Companionship
• recording of Donho's Bubbly Ballad
• recording of Elron's Explosive Etude
• recording of Inigo's Incantation of Inspiration
• recording of Prelude of Precision
• recording of Rolando's Rondo of Resisto
• recovered cufflinks
• red LavaCo Lamp™
• red and green rain stick
• red armband
• red balloon
• red coin
• red face paint
• red lava globs
• red plastic baby
• red plastic oyster egg
• red plumber's boots
• red traffic cone
• red wagon
• red white and blue claret
• red-and-green microcamera
• red-headed corpse
• red-hot jawbreaker
• red-hot knucklebone
• red-hot medallion
• red-hot sausage fork
• red-soled high heels
• red-spotted snapper roe
• redwood rain stick
• reflection of a map
• refrigerated biohazard container
• refurbished air fryer
• regret hose
• regular-size brogurt
• rehearsing dramatic hedgehog
• reindeer hammer
• reindeer sickle
• reinforced furry underpants
• reliable sixgun
• remorseless knife
• repaid diaper
• repaired El Vibrato drone
• repeating crossbow
• replica Ten Dollars
• replica bat-oomerang
• replica key
• research fragment
• residual chitin paste
• residual zeal
• resolution: be kinder
• resolution: be more adventurous
• respected companion biscuit
• reusable shopping bag
• reverse Tantalus
• reverse-oscillating klystron
• rhesus monkey
• rhinestone cowboy shirt
• rhinestone cowhorn
• rib of the Bonerdagon
• ribbon candy
• ribcage rollcage
• rickety old unicycle
• rigging knot
• right bear arm
• right half of a heart necklace
• right parenthesis
• rigid carapace
• ring
• ring of fire resistance
• ring of the Skeleton Lord
• rinky-dink sixgun
• roasted duck
• roasted vegetable focaccia
• roasted vegetable of Jarlsberg
• roboduck-on-a-string
• robot reindeer protocol B.L.I.T.Z.E.N.
• robot reindeer protocol C.O.M.E.T.
• robot reindeer protocol C.U.P.I.D.
• robot reindeer protocol D.A.N.C.E.R.
• robot reindeer protocol D.A.S.H.E.R.
• robot reindeer protocol D.O.N.N.E.R.
• robot reindeer protocol O.L.I.V.E.
• robot reindeer protocol V.I.X.E.N.
• rock lobster
• rocket fuel
• rockin' wagon with a fly in it
• roll of meat
• roller skate decoy
• roller skate doll
• rook cookie
• room scale green bean casserole
• root beer
• root beer barrel
• rope with some soap on it
• rose-colored glasses
• rotting barrel
• rotting cowskin
• rubber WWBBDD? bracelet
• rubber WWJD? bracelet
• rubber WWtNSD? bracelet
• rubber baby doll
• rubber cape
• rubber doll body
• rubber doll head
• rubber emo roe
• rubber gloves
• rubber nubbin
• rubber spatula
• rum ball
• rum barrel charrrm bracelet
• rune-strewn spoon cocoon
• rusty diving helmet
• rusty metal greaves
• rusty porthole
• rusty rivet
• rusty staff
• rxr shield
• s'more gun
• sachet of strange powder
• sack of doorknobs
• safety vest
• saffron antaravasaka
• saffron uttarasanga
• saltwaterbed
• salty drippy candy bar
• sampler size toothpaste
• samurai turtle helmet
• sandcastle
• sandpaper
• sane hatrack
• sangria del diablo
• sardine can key
• sausage golem
• savings bond
• savory crossbow
• savory staff
• sawed-off blunderbuss
• scabrous seal epaulets
• scale-mail underwear
• scary death orb
• scepter of the Skeleton Lord
• school spirit socket set
• scimitar cozy
• scintillating powder
• scissor duck
• scrap of shadow
• scrap of sticky paper
• scroll case
• scrumptious ice ant
• sea cape
• sea carrot
• sea cowboy hat
• sea cucumber
• sea mantle
• sea shawl
• sea truffle
• sea-worn candlestick
• seal medal
• seal-toothed rock
• sealhide belt
• sealhide buckler
• sealhide cloak
• sealhide gloves
• sealhide hood
• sealhide leggings
• sealhide moccasins
• sealhide seal doll
• sealhide snare
• sealhide whip
• sealskin drum
• sebaceous shield
• second-hand knockoff engagement ring
• secret from the future
• security automa-core
• security blankie
• self-dribbling basketball
• self-repairing earmuffs
• sentient meat mass
• sequined fez
• serpentine sword
• servomechanical torsion facilitator
• set of Unobtainium straps
• set of jacks
• severed rocking horse head
• sew-on bandage
• sewer turtle
• sewing kit
• shadow candle
• shadow candy
• shadow chef's hat
• shadow hammer
• shadow hot dog
• shadow martini
• shadow monocle
• shadow needle
• shadow pill
• shadow trousers
• shadowy cat claw
• shadowy cheat sheet
• shadowy seal eye
• shaker of dry rub
• shaking skull
• sham champagne
• shapeless wide-brimmed hat
• shark jumper
• shark tooth necklace
• sharkfin gumbo
• sharp tin strip
• sharpened hubcap
• shellacked shell
• shield of the Skeleton Lord
• shim of shame shale
• shimmering rainbow sand
• shimmering tendrils
• shining star cap
• shiny brass tailfeathers
• shiny butcherknife
• shiny gold fronts
• shoo-fish pie
• shooting morning star
• shopkeeper beard
• short beer
• short glass of water
• short stack of pancakes
• short stick of butter
• short white
• shortest-order cook
• shot of Sneaky Pete's Mojo
• shot of wasp venom
• shoulder-mounted Trainbot
• shoulder-warming lotion
• shrapnel jelly donut
• shrimp cocktail
• shrine to the Barrel god
• shrink-wrapped 2002 Mr. Store Catalog
• shrink-wrapped Cincho de Mayo
• shroomtini
• shuddering cow skull
• shushed potatoes
• sicksilver ring
• sicksilver spurs
• siesta-ing Casagnova gnome
• signal receiver
• silent A
• silent C
• silent D
• silent E
• silent G
• silent J
• silent L
• silent N
• silent P
• silent Q
• silent R
• silent S
• silent T
• silent U
• silent V
• silent X
• silent Z
• silent beret
• silent nightlight
• silk garter snake
• silky pirate drawers
• silver Dreadsylvanian flask
• silver cheese-slicer
• silver cow creamer
• silver cow skull
• silver keg
• silver paté knife
• silver salt-shaker
• silver sausage
• silver shotgun shell
• silver tongue charrrm bracelet
• simple AI
• simple ancient cursed key
• single of Donho's Bubbly Ballad
• single of Inigo's Incantation of Inspiration
• single swig of vodka
• single-use dust mask
• sinister altar fragment
• sinister ancient tablet
• sinister demon mask
• sinistral homunculus
• six-armed sweater
• six-rainbow shield
• sizzling desk bell
• sizzling seal fat
• skate board
• skate skates
• skate skin
• skeleton quiche
• skewer-mounted razor blade
• skewered cat appendix
• skewered cherry
• skewered jumbo olive
• skewered lime
• ski resort souvenir crate
• skull gearshift knob
• skull with a fuse in it
• skulldozer egg
• slab of sponge
• slap and slap again recipe
• slap and tickle with a fly in it
• sleaze cluster
• sleaze clusterbomb
• sleaze jelly
• sleeping patriotic eagle
• sleeping piano cat
• sleeping profane parrot
• sleeping stocking
• slicksilver ring
• slicksilver spurs
• slightly thicker filthy rags
• slime convention pin
• slime fedora
• slime knuckles
• slime stack
• slime waders
• slime-covered club
• slime-covered compass
• slime-covered greaves
• slime-covered helmet
• slime-covered lantern
• slime-covered necklace
• slime-covered shovel
• slime-covered speargun
• slime-covered staff
• slime-soaked brain
• slime-soaked hypophysis
• slime-soaked sweat gland
• slimy alveolus
• slimy chest
• slimy paste
• slippery when wet shield
• sludgesicle
• small Crimbo Pressie
• small golem
• small gummi fin
• small slimy cyst
• small stone triangle
• smart watch
• smashed danish
• smile-sharpening stone
• smiley-face sticker
• smoked potsherd
• smoking grass
• smoking talon
• smoldering bagel punch
• smoldering box
• smoldering leafcutter ant egg
• smoldering staff
• smooth velvet bra
• smooth velvet hanky
• smooth velvet hat
• smooth velvet pants
• smooth velvet pocket square
• smooth velvet shirt
• smooth velvet socks
• smudge stick
• smudged alchemical recipe
• snailmail breeches
• snailmail coif
• snailmail hauberk
• snake
• snake shield
• snake skin
• snakebite
• snakeskin cowboy hat
• snakeskin jacket
• snakeskin thighboots
• sneakeasies
• sneaky wrapping paper
• snow belly
• snow cleats
• snow crab
• snow fort
• snow halo
• snow hat
• snow machine
• snow pants
• snowball
• snowman-enchanting tophat
• snowpack
• snowstick
• sober pill
• sock garters
• sock monkey
• soft cap of diminishing returns
• software bug
• software glitch
• soggy elf shoes
• soggy wofl t-shirt
• soilzerac
• solid asbestos box
• solid baconstone earring
• solid baconstone necklace
• solid baconstone ring
• solid chrome box
• solid gold jewel
• solid linoleum box
• solid shifting time weirdness
• solid state loom
• sorority brain
• sorority girl's box
• soul coin
• soul doorbell
• soul knife
• soul mask
• soul monocle
• soup-chucks
• sour ball and chain
• souvenir flag
• soy cordial
• soyburger juice
• soylent staff
• space bar
• space beast fur hat
• space beast fur pants
• space beast fur whip
• space blanket
• space chowder
• space heater
• space invader
• space jam
• space jam toast
• space jellybicycle
• space marine flash grenade
• space needle
• space pirate treasure map
• space planula
• space trooper helmet
• space wine
• spade necklace
• spaghetti breakfast
• spaghetti with rock-balls
• spaghetti-box banjo
• spant backplate
• spant egg casing
• spant shield
• spant shoulderpads
• spant spear
• spants
• spare battery
• spare chocolate parts
• spark plug earring
• sparking El Vibrato drone
• sparkly engagement ring
• special edition Batfellow comic
• special sauce glove
• spectral jelly
• speed limit shield
• spice melange
• spidercow eye-cluster
• spiky turtle helmet
• spiky turtle shield
• spiky turtle shoulderpads
• spinal-fluid-covered emotion chip
• spinning wheel
• spirit bed
• spirit bell
• spirit blanket
• spirit mattress
• spirit pillow
• spirit sheet
• sponge helmet
• spongy shield
• spooky bicycle chain
• spooky cluster
• spooky clusterbomb
• spooky eggnog
• spooky eyeliner
• spooky felt
• spooky jelly
• spooky length of string
• spooky lipstick
• spooky mushroom wine
• spooky music box mechanism
• spooky rattling cigar box
• spooky sap
• spooky scarecrow
• spooky toy wheel
• spoon!
• spoonful of Linguine-Os
• spring shoes
• sprinkle-begging cup
• sprinkles
• sprocket assembly
• spruce juice
• squamous polyp
• square CRIMBCOOKIE
• square sponge pants
• squirming Slime larva
• squirming egg sac
• squirmy violent party snack
• stained glass serape
• stained glass shards
• stained glass shield
• stained glass shiv
• stained glass spectacles
• stained glass stetson
• stained glass suspenders
• stained hard candy
• stainless steel solitaire
• standards and practices guide
• staph of homophones
• stapler bear
• star pop
• star shirt
• star spatula
• star sword
• status cymbal
• steaming evil
• steamy ruby
• steel knuckles
• steel sword
• stench cluster
• stench clusterbomb
• stick-on gnome beard
• stick-on mini solar panels
• stick-on-a-string
• sticky hand whip
• sticky lava globs
• sticky meat kilt
• sticky sword blade
• still grill
• stinkwater
• stinky cheese ball
• stinky cheese diaper
• stinky cheese eye
• stinky cheese sword
• stinky cheese wheel
• stinky fannypack
• stomach turnover
• stomp box
• stone banjo
• stone turtle
• stop shield
• strange cube
• strange helix fossil
• strange paste
• strange shiny disc
• strange stalagmite
• strange stone pyramid
• strawberry supersucker
• strawberyl
• strawberyl necklace
• streetfighting champion's belt
• string of blue beads
• string of green beads
• string of moist beads
• string of red beads
• stringy sinew
• structural ember
• studded leather boxer shorts
• studded sealhide shield
• stuffed "L"
• stuffed Hodgman
• stuffed Mob Penguin
• stuffed alien blob
• stuffed carpenter
• stuffed club
• stuffed dinosaur
• stuffed dodecapede
• stuffed dodo
• stuffed doppelshifter
• stuffed ghuol whelp
• stuffed kraken
• stuffed ninja snowman
• stuffed sabre-toothed lime
• stuffed stab bat
• stuffed yeti
• stuffed yo-yo
• stuffed zmobie
• stuffed-shirt scarecrow
• stuffing
• stuffing fluffer
• sturdy Crimbo crate
• styrofoam crossbow
• styrofoam peanuts
• styrofoam sword
• sub-molecular interocitor
• subscription cocoa dispenser
• sucker bucket
• sucker hakama
• sucker kabuto
• sucker scaffold
• sucker tachi
• sugar bunny
• sugar chapeau
• sugar fairy
• sugar raygun
• sugar shank
• sugar shield
• sugar shillelagh
• sugar shirt
• sugar shorts
• sugar shotgun
• sun-dried tofu
• sundae ration
• super good fruit
• super-absorbent tarp
• super-heated leaf
• super-sweet boom box
• superduperball
• superduperheated metal
• superheated fudge
• superhero mask
• sushi doily
• sushi-rolling mat
• suspicious package
• suspicious stocking
• suspicious-looking fedora
• swamp haunch
• sweat socks
• sweatband
• sweaty balsam
• sweet nutcracker
• sweet party mix
• sweet potato o' mine
• sweet potato punch
• sweet tooth
• sweet-corn-flavored Mr. Mediocrebar
• swirling mushroom wine
• sword behind inappropriate prepositions
• swordzall
• syncopated turtle
• synthetic stuffing
• tabletop candy dispenser
• tailbone shield
• tainted icing
• tainted milk
• tainted seal's blood
• talisman of Seshat
• talkative skull
• talking spade
• tangarita with a fly in it
• tangle of copper wire
• tangled mass of creepy pasta
• tankard of spiced Goldschlepper
• tankard of spiced rum
• tapped black lotus
• targeting chip
• tarnished luggage key
• tarnished metal ring
• tarnished metal rod
• tarrrnished charrrm bracelet
• tasteful black bow tie
• tasty louse
• tattered paper crown
• tattoo gun
• tattoo of two turkeys
• tawdry amethyst
• teacher's pen
• tearaway pants
• teddy bear
• teddy bear sewing kit
• teddy borg
• teddy borg sewing kit
• teflon shield
• teflon spatula
• teflon swim fins
• temperance whiskey
• temporary X tattoos
• temporary teardrop tattoo
• tempura air
• tennis ball
• terra cotta tambourine
• terra cotta tie tack
• terra cotta tongs
• terra cotta train
• terra cotta trousers
• terra cotta truss
• terra panna cotta
• testy toolbox
• thanksgiving bomb
• the Archwizard's briefs
• the Crymbich Manuscript
• the Crymbich Manuscript (used)
• the Ley Incursion's waist
• the finger
• theoretical string
• thermos of "whiskey"
• thermos of brew
• thicksilver ring
• thicksilver spurs
• thin gold wire
• third-hand lantern
• thought balloon
• three-tiered wedding cake
• thriftshop coupon
• throbbing organ pie
• throbbing rage gland
• throwin' ember
• throwing bone
• thyme jelly donut
• ticksilver ring
• ticksilver spurs
• tie-dye headband
• tie-dyed fannypack
• tied-up flaming leaflet
• tied-up flaming monstera
• tied-up leaviathan
• tightly-wound spine
• time helmet
• time residue
• time shuriken
• time sword
• time trousers
• time-twitching toolbelt
• tin cup
• tin drum
• tin foil
• tin rations
• tin roof (rusted)
• tin snips
• tin star
• tin tam
• tin thermos of chai
• tinsel fin
• tinsel orb
• tiny Tina gun
• tiny baby scorpion
• tiny ballet slippers
• tiny balloon knife
• tiny bindle
• tiny black hole
• tiny bust of Pallas
• tiny cell phone
• tiny consolation ribbon
• tiny costume wardrobe
• tiny die-cast Bashful the Reindeer
• tiny die-cast CrimboTown Toy Factory
• tiny die-cast Don Crimbo
• tiny die-cast Dopey the Reindeer
• tiny die-cast Sneezy the Reindeer
• tiny die-cast Swiss hen
• tiny die-cast Uncle Hobo
• tiny die-cast Unionize the Elves Sign
• tiny die-cast arc-welding Elfborg
• tiny die-cast blade a-spinning
• tiny die-cast death ray in a pear tree
• tiny die-cast golden ring
• tiny die-cast goose a-laying
• tiny die-cast killing bird
• tiny die-cast middle-management elf
• tiny die-cast pencil-pusher elf
• tiny die-cast ribbon-cutting Elfborg
• tiny die-cast stocking-stuffer elf
• tiny die-cast swarm a-swarming
• tiny die-cast turtle mech
• tiny do-rag
• tiny domino mask
• tiny ember
• tiny fly glasses
• tiny frozen prehistoric meteorite jawbreaker
• tiny glowing red nose
• tiny goth giant
• tiny knife and fork
• tiny makeup kit
• tiny nose-bone fetish
• tiny plastic "Santa Claus"
• tiny plastic Abuela's cottage
• tiny plastic Armory
• tiny plastic Boris
• tiny plastic Cafe
• tiny plastic Captain Kerkard
• tiny plastic Colonel Brando
• tiny plastic Crimboween pentagram
• tiny plastic Dr. Awkward
• tiny plastic Duke Starkiller
• tiny plastic Easter Island Bunny
• tiny plastic Ed the Undying
• tiny plastic Factory
• tiny plastic GORM-8
• tiny plastic Jarlsberg
• tiny plastic Jedediah and Boiling Cloud
• tiny plastic K.R.A.M.P.U.S.
• tiny plastic Knob Goblin mad scientist
• tiny plastic Knott Yeti
• tiny plastic Lord Spookyraven
• tiny plastic Naughty Sorceress
• tiny plastic Professor What
• tiny plastic Protagonist
• tiny plastic Scream Queen
• tiny plastic Sneaky Pete
• tiny plastic St. Patrick
• tiny plastic Susie
• tiny plastic The Big Wisniewski
• tiny plastic The Silent Nightmare
• tiny plastic Toybot
• tiny plastic ancient yuletide troll
• tiny plastic angry bugbear
• tiny plastic coal car
• tiny plastic conservationist hippy
• tiny plastic cubist bull
• tiny plastic drunk goat
• tiny plastic fluffy bunny
• tiny plastic gift-wrapping vampire
• tiny plastic mime executive
• tiny plastic mime functionary
• tiny plastic mime scientist
• tiny plastic mime soldier
• tiny plastic protector spectre
• tiny plastic skeletal reindeer
• tiny plastic spoiler
• tiny plastic sword
• tiny plastic topiary golem
• tiny plastic warbear
• tiny plastic warbear fortress
• tiny prop sword
• tiny sombrero
• tiny stillsuit
• tiny top hat and cane
• tisket
• toasted brie
• tobiko pocky
• tobiko-infused sake
• toe jam
• tofurkey nugget
• toggle switch (Bartend)
• toggle switch (Bounce)
• tomato soup poster
• tonguebone
• too legit potion
• tooth cap
• toothsome rock
• toothy trousers
• topeé
• topiary necktie
• topiary noseplugs
• topiary skunk
• topiary tights
• torquoise ring
• tortoboggan shield
• tortoise's blessing
• tourmalime
• tourmalime tourniquet
• toxic mop
• toxo
• toy Crimbot mega face
• toy Crimbot power glove
• toy Crimbot rocket legs
• toy Crimbot super fist
• toy crazy train
• toy deathbot
• toy hoverpad
• toy maglev monorail
• toy mercenary
• toy ray gun
• toy six-seater hovercraft
• toy sixgun
• toy soldier
• toy space helmet
• toy taijijian
• toy train
• train whistle
• training scroll: Shattering Punch
• training scroll: Shivering Monkey Technique
• training scroll: Snokebomb
• trampled ticket stub
• transmission from planet Xi
• transparent pants
• tree skirt
• trench coat
• trench lighter
• triangular CRIMBCOOKIE
• triggerfingerbone
• trilobite candy mold
• trilobite fossil
• triple barreled barrel gun
• tropical Crimbo pressie
• tropical paperweight
• trousers of the white knight
• trout fang
• trusty torch
• tryptophan dart
• tube of pendulum lube
• tube of villain white
• tulip
• tuning fork
• turchucken
• turkey blaster
• turtle wax helmet
• turtling rod
• twice-haunted screwdriver
• twitching claw
• twitching space egg
• twitching trigger finger
• ultimate wad
• ultra-soft ferns
• ultracalcium
• unappetizing mayolus
• unbearable light
• unbreakable umbrella
• uncanny desk bell
• uncapped blue lava bottle
• uncapped green lava bottle
• uncapped red lava bottle
• undamaged Unbreakable Umbrella
• undissolvable contact lenses
• undrilled cosmic bowling ball
• unearthed potsherd
• unearthed volcanic meteoroid
• unearthly onyx
• unemployed hunchbacked minion
• unevolved organism
• unfinished fruitcake
• unfinished ice sculpture
• unfinished pleasure
• unholy water
• uniclops egg
• uninteresting mayolus
• unlocked meat locker
• unoccupied sheep suit
• unopened Bird-a-Day calendar
• unopened diabolic pizza cube box
• unopened tiny stillsuit
• unpowered Robortender
• unsanitized scalpel
• unspeakable lozenges
• untorn tearaway pants package
• unused walkie-talkie
• unwound cymbal-playing monkey
• unwound mechanical songbird
• unwrapped knock-off retro superhero cape
• urchin roe
• urinal cake
• vampagne
• vampire duck-on-a-string
• vampire glitter
• vampire pearl earring
• vampire pearl necklace
• vampire pearl ring
• vampire pellet
• vampyric cloake
• vampyric cloake pattern
• vanilla-frosted king cake
• velcro boots
• velcro broadsword
• velcro paddle ball
• velcro shield
• velour valise
• velour vambraces
• velour vaqueros
• velour veil
• velour veneer
• velour viscometer
• velour voulge
• velvet choker
• vengeful spirit
• very large caltrop
• vesper
• vial of hot blood
• vial of humanoid growth hormone
• vial of patchouli oil
• vibrating mushroom
• vicious spiked collar
• villainous scythe
• vinyl boots
• vinyl shield
• violent pastilles
• virgin jello shot
• viscous lava globs
• vodka stinger
• void burger
• void lager
• void shard
• void stone
• volcanic ash
• volleyball
• voodoo doll
• voter registration form
• votive of confidence
• wad of Crovacite
• wad of cotton
• wad of spider silk
• waders
• waffle
• walkie-talkie
• walrus ice cream
• wand of fudge control
• warbear LP-ROM burner
• warbear auto-anvil
• warbear badge
• warbear battle greaves
• warbear bearserker greaves
• warbear bearserker mead
• warbear bearserker potion
• warbear beeping telegram
• warbear black box
• warbear blizzard mead
• warbear breakfast machine
• warbear breakfast machine assembler
• warbear ceremonial party pants
• warbear chemistry lab
• warbear dress bracers
• warbear dress greaves
• warbear dress helmet
• warbear drone assembler
• warbear drone codes
• warbear electric long johns
• warbear electric warscarf
• warbear electro-spiked helm
• warbear empathy chip
• warbear energy bracers
• warbear exhaust manifold
• warbear exo-arm
• warbear fancy fedora
• warbear feasting bread
• warbear feasting mead
• warbear feathered fedora
• warbear fleece-lined long johns
• warbear fleece-lined warscarf
• warbear foil hat
• warbear goggles
• warbear gyro
• warbear gyrocopter
• warbear heated ushanka
• warbear high festival pants
• warbear high-efficiency still
• warbear hoverbelt
• warbear hoverbelt piecepart
• warbear induction oven
• warbear jackhammer drill press
• warbear laser beacon
• warbear laser bowtie
• warbear lined ushanka
• warbear liquid overcoat
• warbear long johns
• warbear metalworking primer
• warbear metalworking primer (used)
• warbear nuclear bowtie
• warbear officer greaves
• warbear officer requisition box
• warbear oil pan
• warbear party pants
• warbear plain fedora
• warbear plain helm
• warbear plain ushanka
• warbear plasma bowtie
• warbear polarized goggles
• warbear procedural hilarity drone
• warbear rejuvenation potion
• warbear requisition box
• warbear sequential gaiety distribution system
• warbear snowblindness goggles
• warbear soda machine
• warbear soda machine assembler
• warbear spiked helm
• warbear thermoregulator bread
• warbear wardance potion
• warbear warrior bread
• warbear warscarf
• wardrobe-o-matic
• warehouse clerk's glasses
• warehouse key
• warm El Vibrato drone
• warm fur
• wasabi pocky
• wasabi-infused sake
• washboard shield
• water balloon
• water log
• water wings for babies
• water-polo mitt
• waterlogged crate
• watermelon
• watermelon seed
• wax banana
• wax face
• wax hand
• wax hat
• wax lips
• wax pants
• weasel stomping pants
• weathered barrel
• webbed comic mask
• wedge of gray cheese
• weedy skirt
• weegee sqouija
• weighted paperclip chain
• western-style skinning knife
• wet tack
• wet venom duct
• whalegun
• wheel
• wheel of camembert
• whet stone
• whirled peas
• whisker pencil
• white Dreadsylvanian
• white arm towel
• white balloon
• white blood cells
• white candygram
• white collar
• white earbuds
• white elephant gift
• white money bag
• white wine
• white-label gin
• wholeberd
• whoopie cushion
• wicker clicker
• wicker kickers
• wicker knickers
• wicker slicker
• wicker sticker
• wicker ticker
• wickerbits
• wicksilver ring
• wicksilver spurs
• wild honey pie
• willowy bonnet
• wind-up chattering teeth
• windicle
• wine-soaked bone chips
• witch's bra
• witch's bread
• witch's brew
• wizard action figure
• woim
• woimbook
• wolf whistle
• wolfman mask
• wolfskull mask
• wood screw
• wooden spoon
• wool sock
• worksite credentials
• world's most unappetizing beverage
• wormwood stick
• wormwood wedding ring
• worthless knick-knack
• woven baling wire bracelets
• wrapped candy cane sword cane
• wrapping paper
• wrestling mask
• wriggling severed nose
• wriggling tentacle
• wristwatch of the white knight
• writhing drippy candy bar
• wrought-iron flakes
• wrought-iron waders
• wrought-iron walker
• wrought-iron whisk
• wrought-iron widget
• wrought-iron wig
• wrought-iron winch crank
• wumpus-hair bolo
• wumpus-hair loincloth
• wumpus-hair net
• wumpus-hair sweater
• wumpus-hair whip
• wumpus-hair wig
• x-ray specs
• xo-skeleton-in-a-box
• yabba dabba doo rag
• yak toupee
• yakskin kilt
• yakskin skirt
• yam burrito
• yam candy
• yam mayo
• yam slider
• ye olde golde frontes
• yellow candygram
• yellow glowstick
• yellow matter custard
• yellow pixel potion
• yellow plastic hard hat
• yellow polka-dot oyster egg
• yellow puck
• yellow puck with a bow on it
• yellow seashell
• yellow snowcone
• yellow striped oyster egg
• yellow traffic cone
• yield shield
• yo
• your own black heart
• yule grog
• yule pup
• yuletide troll chrysalis
• zen motorcycle
• zombie
• zombie accordion
• zombie dinosaur egg
• zombie mariachi hat
• zombie mariachi pants
• zombie monkey necklace