In their foolhardy quest to collect every item, this player comes 6,095 short.

• Franken Stein
• Überraschthexengebräu
• "DEBBIE" tattoo kit
• "Humorous" T-shirt
• "I survived Y2K" T-Shirt
• "KICK ME" sign
• "caramel" orange
• "honey" dipper
• "meat" stick
• 'Villa' document
• 'WILL WORK FOR BOOZE' sign
• 1 Meat
• 1/6th Pound Cake
• 17-ball
• 18-picohertz resonator crystal
• 1952 Mickey Mantle card
• 20-lb can of rice and beans
• 2002 Mr. Store Catalog
• 4-dimensional fez
• 4:20 bomb
• 5-Alarm Saucepan
• 5-hour acrimony
• 8-billed baseball cap
• A Beginner's Guide to Charming Snakes
• A Beginner's Guide to Charming Snakes (used)
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 1
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 1 (used)
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 2
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 2 (used)
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 3
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 3 (used)
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 4
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 4 (used)
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 5
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 5 (used)
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 6
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 6 (used)
• A Guide to Burning Leaves
• A Guide to Safari
• A muse-bouche
• A. W. O. L. commendation
• ASCII fu manchu
• Abuela Crimbo's special magnet
• Accordion of Jordion
• Acqua Del Piatto Merlot
• Acque Luride Grezze Cabernet
• Admiral's hat
• Adventurer bobblehead
• Adventurer's Kit
• Affirmation Cookie
• Afternoon Delight
• Agent Corrigan's cigarette
• Agent Mauve
• Aggressive Carrot
• Agitated Turkey
• Aiolion
• Aldebaran sardines
• Alewife™ Ale
• Alexy sauce
• Alice's Army Foil Alchemist
• Alice's Army Foil Bowman
• Alice's Army Foil Cleric
• Alice's Army Foil Coward
• Alice's Army Foil Dervish
• Alice's Army Foil Guard
• Alice's Army Foil Halberder
• Alice's Army Foil Hammerman
• Alice's Army Foil Horseman
• Alice's Army Foil Lanceman
• Alice's Army Foil Mad Bomber
• Alice's Army Foil Martyr
• Alice's Army Foil Ninja
• Alice's Army Foil Nurse
• Alice's Army Foil Page
• Alice's Army Foil Shieldmaiden
• Alice's Army Foil Sniper
• Alice's Army Foil Spearsman
• Alice's Army Foil Swordsman
• Alice's Army Foil Wallman
• Alice's Army Foil tattoo
• Alice's Army booster box
• Aluminum Epsilon of Humility
• Amanitee
• Ambitious Turkey
• Amnesiac Ale
• Amoon-Ra Cowtep's nemes
• Amulet of Perpetual Darkness
• Ancient Protector Soda
• Ancient Saucehelm
• Angelhair Culottes
• Anniversary Miniature Sword & Martini Guy
• Annual Ascot
• Antagonistic Snowman Kit
• Apathargic Bandersnatch
• Apriling band helmet
• Arr, M80
• Arrow (+1)
• Artist's Butterknife of Regret
• Artist's Cookie Cutter of Loneliness
• Artist's Crème Brulée Torch of Fury
• Artist's Spatula of Despair
• Artist's Whisk of Misery
• Ascension Souvenir T-Shirt
• Asdon Martin keyfob (on ring)
• Asleep in the Cemetery
• Ass-Stompers of Violence
• Atomic Comic
• Autobiography Of Dynamite Superman Jones (used)
• AutumnFest ale
• Ax of L'rose
• Azurite
• BOOtonniere
• BRAINS shorts
• BRICKO egg
• BROS Energy Drink
• BUBBLE GUM
• BURT
• Bag o' Tricks
• Bal-musette accordion
• Bandolier of the Spaghetti Elemental
• Banfoy's Boutique Order Form
• Bangyomaman battle juice
• Barney's rake
• Baron von Ratsworth's money clip
• Baron von Ratsworth's tophat
• Bartles and BRAAAINS wine cooler
• Barulio's bottle
• Bash-Ōs boxtop
• Bastille Battalion Fondue Trophy
• Bastille Battalion cheese wheel
• Bastille Battalion control rig
• Bastille Battalion control rig crate
• Bastille Battalion control rig loaner voucher
• Bastille Battalion tattoo kit
• Batfellow comic
• Beach Buck
• Beach Comb
• Beach Comb Box
• Bee's Knees
• Beefy Crunch Pastaco
• Beignet Milgranet
• Belt of Howling Anger
• Belt of Loathing
• Benetton's Medley of Diversity
• Better Shrooms and Gardens catalog
• Bicycle
• Biddy Cracker's Old-Fashioned Cookbook
• Big Candy's tophat
• Bigger Bugfinder Blade
• Bird-a-Day calendar
• BittyCar HotCar
• BittyCar MeatCar
• BittyCar SoulCar
• Bjorn's Hammer
• Black Angus blackburger
• Black Bart's Booty
• Black and White Apron Enrollment Form
• Black and White Apron Meal Kit
• Bling of the New Wave
• Blizzards I Have Died In
• Blood Light
• Bloodbath
• Blue Diamond of Honesty
• Bluzzard
• Bodacious MechaElf Hunter Saga:Relay Wolf
• Bohemian rhapsody
• Boletus Broletus mushroom
• Boltsmann ID badge
• Bone's Farm "wine"
• Bonerdagon necklace
• Book of Old-Timey Carols
• Booke of Vampyric Knowledge
• Boots of Twilight Whispers
• Boozehounds Anonymous token
• Bordeaux Marteaux
• Boris's Helm
• Boris's Helm (askew)
• Boris's beer
• Boris's bread
• Boss Bat bling
• Boss Bat britches
• Bowl of Infinite Jelly
• Boxing Day Pass
• Boxing Day care package
• Brain Food Pastaco
• Brand of Violence
• Brandonian footlocker key
• Breathetastic™ Premium Canned Air
• Breathitin™
• Bright Water
• Brimstone Beret
• Brimstone Bludgeon
• Brimstone Boxers
• Brimstone Bracelet
• Brimstone Brooch
• Brimstone Bunker
• Brogre brolo shirt
• Brogre brorts
• Brogre bucket hat
• Bruno's blessing of Mars
• Buddy Bjorn
• Bugfinder Blade
• Build-a-City Gingerbread kit
• Burt's blessing of Bacchus
• Buttery Boy
• Byte
• C.B.F.G.
• C.H.U.M. chum
• C.H.U.M. knife
• C.H.U.M. lantern
• CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 1)
• CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 1) (used)
• CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 2)
• CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 2) (used)
• CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 3)
• CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 3) (used)
• CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 4)
• CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 4) (used)
• CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 5)
• CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 5) (used)
• CRIMBCO lanyard
• CRIMBCO mug
• CRIMBCO scrip
• CRIMBCO wine
• CSA all-purpose soap
• CSA bravery badge
• CSA cheerfulness ration
• CSA discount card
• CSA fire-starting kit
• CSA obedience grenade
• CSA scoutmaster's "water"
• Cajun accordion
• Calzone of Legend
• Camp Scout backpack
• Camp Scout pup tent
• Can of Spaghetto
• Can-Can skirt
• Cantelope
• Caramel
• Cargo Cultist Shorts
• Carol of the Bulls
• Carol of the Bulls (used)
• Carol of the Hells
• Carol of the Hells (used)
• Carol of the Thrills
• Carol of the Thrills (used)
• Carpathian longsword
• Carpricorn
• Cat-Herding Prod
• Caveman Dan's favorite rock
• Celsius 233
• Celsius 233 (singed)
• Centauri fish wine
• Cerebral Cloche
• Cerebral Crossbow
• Cerebral Culottes
• Chalice of the Malkovich Prince
• Champagne Shimmy
• Charity's choker
• Charleston Choo-Choo
• Charleston shoes
• Charter: Nellyville
• Chateau Mantegna room key
• Ched
• Chef Boy, R&D's business card
• Cheshire Bitten
• Chester's Aquarius medallion
• Chester's bag of candy
• Chester's cutoffs
• Chester's moustache
• Chester's muscle shirt
• Chester's sunglasses
• ChibiBuddy™ (off)
• Children's Meal of the Damned
• Chinese curse words
• Choco-Mint patty
• Chorale of Companionship
• Christmas ham
• Chroner
• Chroner cross
• Chroner trigger
• Chubby and Plump bar
• Cincho de Mayo
• Cinco Mayo Lager
• Clan Carnival Game
• Clan Floundry
• Clan VIP Lounge invitation
• Clan VIP Lounge key
• Clan hot dog stand
• Clan looking glass
• Clan pool table
• Clan shower
• Clara's bell
• Claw of the Infernal Seal
• Climate Colada
• Cloaca grenade
• Cloaca-Cola c-rations
• Cloaca-Cola fatigues
• Cloaca-Cola helmet
• Cloaca-Cola knapsack
• Cloaca-Cola shield
• Cloaca-Cola-issue combat knife
• Cloak of Dire Shadows
• Cobra Bowl
• Cocktails of the Age of Sail
• Cocktails of the Age of Sail (used)
• Codex of Capsaicin Conjuration
• Codpiece of the Goblin King
• Coily™
• Coinspiracy
• Colander of Em-er'il
• Cold Fang
• Cold One
• Cold Stone of Hatred
• Colera Peste Nebbiolo
• Colon Annihilation Hot Sauce
• Comma Chameleon egg
• Comprehensive Cartographic Compendium
• Comprehensive Cartographic Compendium (well-read)
• Congressional Medal of Insanity
• Connery's Elixir of Audacity
• Conspiracy™ mascara
• Convincing People You Can See The Future
• Cool Brunch Pastaco
• Cosmic Calorie
• Counterclockwise Watch
• Covers-Your-Head
• Covert Ops for Kids
• Covert Ops for Kids (used)
• Crepes a la Lune
• Crimbo Credit
• Crimbo Elf creepy bobble-head
• Crimbo P. R. E. S. S. I. E.
• Crimbo bottomless hot cocoa mug
• Crimbo cookie sheet
• Crimbo crystal shards
• Crimbo dinner
• Crimbo dog sweater
• Crimbo food scraps
• Crimbo hat
• Crimbo light-up Rudolph doll
• Crimbo pants
• Crimbo paste
• Crimbo pressie
• Crimbo sapling
• Crimbo smile
• Crimbo stocking
• Crimbo stockings
• Crimbo stogie-scented room odorizer
• Crimbo sword
• Crimbo train emergency brake
• Crimbo training manual
• Crimbo tree flocker
• Crimbolex watch
• Crimbomega drive chain
• Crimbomination Contraption
• Crimbosmopolitan
• Crimbot ROM: Mathematical Precision
• Crimbot ROM: Mathematical Precision (dirty)
• Crimbot ROM: Rapid Prototyping
• Crimbot ROM: Rapid Prototyping (dirty)
• Crimbot ROM: Ruthless Efficiency
• Crimbot ROM: Ruthless Efficiency (dirty)
• Crimbot schematic: Camera Claw
• Crimbot schematic: Cyclopean Torso
• Crimbot schematic: Data Analyzer
• Crimbot schematic: Grease Gun
• Crimbot schematic: Hoverjack
• Crimbot schematic: Lamp Filler
• Crimbot schematic: Nerding Module
• Crimbot schematic: Refrigerator Chassis
• Crimbot schematic: Ribbon Manipulator
• Crimbot schematic: Rocket Skirt
• Crimbot schematic: Snow Blower
• Crimbot schematic: Swiss Arm
• Crimbough
• Crimbow Rainbo
• Crimboween memo
• Crimbuccaneer bombjacket
• Crimbuccaneer breeches
• Crimbuccaneer captain's purse
• Crimbuccaneer fledges (disintegrating)
• Crimbuccaneer fledges (mint)
• Crimbuccaneer flotsam
• Crimbuccaneer invasion map
• Crimbuccaneer lantern
• Crimbuccaneer mologrog cocktail
• Crimbuccaneer nose ring
• Crimbuccaneer piece of 12
• Crimbuccaneer premium booty sack
• Crimbuccaneer rigging lasso
• Crimbuccaneer runebone
• Crimbuccaneer shirt
• Crimbuccaneer squirtblunderbuss
• Crimbuccaneer tattoo gift certificate
• Crimbuccaneer tavern swab
• Crimbuccaneer tricorn
• Crimbuccaneer war standard
• Crimbuccaneer whale oil
• Crimbuck
• Crimbylow-rise jeans
• Crown of Thrones
• Cycloney
• D roll
• DIY protonic accelerator kit
• DNOTC Box
• Dad's brandy
• Daily Affirmation: Adapt to Change Eventually
• Daily Affirmation: Always be Collecting
• Daily Affirmation: Be Superficially interested
• Daily Affirmation: Be a Mind Master
• Daily Affirmation: Keep Free Hate in your Heart
• Daily Affirmation: Think Win-Lose
• Daily Affirmation: Work For Hours a Week
• Daisy's unclean bloomers
• Dallas Dynasty Falcon Crest shield
• Danglin' Chad's loincloth
• Dark Jill-O-Lantern
• Dark Jill-of-All-Trades
• Daylight Shavings Helmet
• Deactivated MiniMechaElf
• Deactivated O. A. F.
• Dear Past Self Package
• Deck of Every Card
• Deep Dish of Legend
• Deep Machine Tunnels snowglobe
• Dennis's blessing of Minerva
• Devil's Elbow Hot Sauce
• Diamond HP-35 Calculator
• Dickory Farms Gift Basket
• Dinsey Maintenance Manual
• Dinsey Whinskey
• Dinsey face paint
• Dinsey food-cone
• Dinsey tattoo kit
• Dinsey's brain
• Dinsey's glove
• Dinsey's oculus
• Dinsey's pants
• Dinsey's pizza cutter
• Dinsey's radar dish
• Disco 'Fro Pick
• Disco Banjo
• Discontent™ Winter Garden Catalog
• Discount Telescope Warehouse gift certificate
• Dish of Clarified Butter
• Distant Woods Getaway Brochure
• Divine
• Doc Clock's thyme cocktail
• Doc Galaktik's Restorative Balm
• Doc's Fortifying Wine
• Doc's Limbering Wine
• Doc's Medical-Grade Wine
• Doc's Smartifying Wine
• Doc's Special Reserve Wine
• Doll Moll violin case
• Dolph Bossin's Crimbo hat
• Dolph Bossin's charity note
• Dragonscale breastplate
• Drapes-You-Regally
• Dreadsylvania Auditor's badge
• Dreadsylvanian Almanac page
• Dreadsylvanian clockwork key
• Dreadsylvanian cold pocket
• Dreadsylvanian cold-fashioned
• Dreadsylvanian dank and stormy
• Dreadsylvanian grimlet
• Dreadsylvanian hemlock
• Dreadsylvanian hot pocket
• Dreadsylvanian hot toddy
• Dreadsylvanian seed pod
• Dreadsylvanian shepherd's pie
• Dreadsylvanian skeleton key
• Dreadsylvanian sleaze pocket
• Dreadsylvanian slithery nipple
• Dreadsylvanian spooky pocket
• Dreadsylvanian stew
• Dreadsylvanian stink pocket
• Dressage
• Driplet
• Dripwood slab
• Drunk Uncles holo-record
• Drunkula's bell
• Drunkula's cape
• Drunkula's ring of haze
• Drunkula's silky pants
• Drunkula's wineglass
• Duke Vampire's regal cloak
• Dungeon Fist gauntlet
• Dweebisol™ inhaler
• Dyspepsi grenade
• Dyspepsi-Cola d-rations
• Dyspepsi-Cola fatigues
• Dyspepsi-Cola helmet
• Dyspepsi-Cola knapsack
• Dyspepsi-Cola shield
• Dyspepsi-Cola-issue canteen
• EMD holo-record
• Earring of Fire
• Easter eggnog
• Easter grasshopper
• Ecto-Cooler
• Ed the Undying exhibit crate
• Egnaro berry
• Eight Days a Week Pill Keeper
• El Sombrero De Lopez
• El Vibrato Megadrone
• El Vibrato drone
• El Vibrato energy spear
• El Vibrato helmet
• El Vibrato leg guards
• El Vibrato restraints
• El Vibrato translator
• Elder Turtle Shell
• Eldritch Intellect: Journey into a Mind of Horror
• Eldritch snap
• Electric Punch
• Elf Army machine parts
• Elf Guard Field Manual: Culinary Arts
• Elf Guard Field Manual: Culinary Arts (used)
• Elf Guard Field Manual: Extortion
• Elf Guard Field Manual: Extortion (used)
• Elf Guard Field Manual: Wilderness Sleeping
• Elf Guard Field Manual: Wilderness Sleeping (used)
• Elf Guard MPC
• Elf Guard SCUBA tank
• Elf Guard broom
• Elf Guard clipboard
• Elf Guard commandeering gloves
• Elf Guard eyedrops
• Elf Guard fuel tank
• Elf Guard hangover cure
• Elf Guard honor present
• Elf Guard hotpants
• Elf Guard insignia (general)
• Elf Guard insignia (private)
• Elf Guard mouthknife
• Elf Guard officer's sidearm
• Elf Guard patrol cap
• Elf Guard payroll bag
• Elf Guard red and white beret
• Elf Guard safety bear
• Elf Guard squirtgun
• Elf Guard strategic map
• Elf Guard temporary (permanent) tattoo
• Elf Guard tinsel grenade
• Elf Guard war standard
• Ellsbury's journal
• Ellsbury's journal (used)
• Ellsbury's skull
• Elmley shades
• Elron's Explosive Etude
• Elvish sunglasses
• Elvish underarmor
• Emblem of Ak'gyxoth
• En Una Fila Tequila
• Enchanted Plunger
• Energy Buzz Pastaco
• Engorged Sausages and You
• Essence of Annoyance
• Essence of Bear
• Everfull Dart Holster
• Extrovermectin™
• Eye Agate
• Eye and a Twist
• FDKOL commendation
• FDKOL fire hose
• FDKOL hotcakes
• FDKOL tattoo
• Falcon™ Maltese Liquor
• Fancy Jeff's fancy pocket square
• FantasyRealm Mage's Hat
• FantasyRealm Rogue's Mask
• FantasyRealm Warrior's Helm
• FantasyRealm guest pass
• FantasyRealm key
• FantasyRealm mead
• FantasyRealm membership packet
• FantasyRealm tattoo kit
• FantasyRealm turkey leg
• Faux
• Ferita Del Petto Zinfandel
• Ferrigno's Elixir of Power
• Fettris
• Field Guide to Skeletal Anatomy
• Field Guide to Skeletal Anatomy (shredded)
• First Post shirt - Cir Senam
• First Post shirt package
• Five Second Energy™
• Flag by the Foot™
• Flan
• Flan in the Moon
• Flash Liquidizer Ultra Dousing Accessory
• Fleshazole™
• Flivver
• Folder Holder
• Former Sheriff Dan's tin star
• Fourth of May Cosplay Saber
• Fourth of May Cosplay Saber kit
• Frank Gorshin trophy
• Freddie's blessing of Mercury
• Freddy Kruegerand
• French bronilla brogurt
• French slippers
• French-Transylvanian Dictionary
• Friendliness Beverage
• Friendly Turkey
• Frigid Northern Beans
• Frogade
• Fromage Pinotage
• Frosty's arm
• Frosty's carrot
• Frosty's frosty mug
• Frosty's iceball
• Frosty's nailbat
• Frosty's old silk hat
• Frosty's snowball sack
• Frown Exerciser
• Fudgie Roll
• Fun-Guy spore
• FunFunds™
• Fuzzby
• Fuzzy Slippers of Hatred
• Galapagosian Cuisses
• Game Grid ticket
• Game Grid token
• Game Grid valued membership card
• GameInformPowerDailyPro magazine
• GameInformPowerDailyPro subscription card
• Garland of Greatness
• Garter of the Turtle Poacher
• Gathered Meat-Clip
• Gauntlets of the Blood Moon
• Gazelleton
• Gazpacho's Glacial Grimoire
• Gene Tonic: Beast
• Gene Tonic: Constellation
• Gene Tonic: Construct
• Gene Tonic: Demon
• Gene Tonic: Dude
• Gene Tonic: Elemental
• Gene Tonic: Elf
• Gene Tonic: Fish
• Gene Tonic: Goblin
• Gene Tonic: Hippy
• Gene Tonic: Hobo
• Gene Tonic: Horror
• Gene Tonic: Humanoid
• Gene Tonic: Insect
• Gene Tonic: Mer-kin
• Gene Tonic: Orc
• Gene Tonic: Penguin
• Gene Tonic: Pirate
• Gene Tonic: Plant
• Gene Tonic: Slime
• Gene Tonic: Undead
• Gene Tonic: Weird
• General Assembly Module
• Gets-You-Drunk
• Ghiaccio Colada
• Ghosprey
• Ghost Dog Chow
• Ghost Pinching Quarterly
• Giant black monolith
• Ginsu™
• Girdle of Hatred
• Glamare
• Glass Balls of the Goblin King
• Glenn's golden dice
• Globmule
• Glum berry
• Gnomish toolbox
• Gnomitronic Hyperspatial Demodulizer
• God Lobster Egg
• Goggles of Loathing
• Golden HP-35 Calculator
• Golden Kokomo Resort Chip
• Golden Mr. Accessory
• Golden Mr. Eh?
• Goodfella contract
• Gordon Beer's Beer Garden Catalog
• Gordon Bennett
• Gorillape
• Granny Hackleton's Gatling gun
• Granny Tood's Thanksgarden Catalog
• Grateful Undead T-shirt
• Gratitude chocolate (Meat-filled)
• Gratitude chocolate (bourbon-filled)
• Gratitude chocolate (octopus-filled)
• Gratitude chocolate (thyme-filled)
• Gravyskin Belt of the Sauceblob
• Great Ball of Frozen Fire
• Great S-Cape
• Great Wolf's beastly trousers
• Great Wolf's headband
• Great Wolf's left paw
• Great Wolf's lice
• Great Wolf's right paw
• Great Wolf's rocket launcher
• Greatest American Pants
• Greaves of the Murk Lord
• Greek fire
• Green Clover of Justice
• Gregarious Gregorian Smock
• Grim Brothers' story book
• Grimacite Bock
• Grimacite gaiters
• Grimacite galoshes
• Grimacite garter
• Grimacite gasmask
• Grimacite gat
• Grimacite gauntlets
• Grimacite girdle
• Grimacite glaive
• Grimacite go-go boots
• Grimacite goggles
• Grimacite gorget
• Grimacite gown
• Grimacite greaves
• Grimacite guayabera
• Groll doll
• Grumpy Bumpkin's Pumpkin Seed Catalog
• Gummi-Memory
• Guzzlr application
• Guzzlr cocktail set
• Guzzlr hat
• Guzzlr pants
• Guzzlr shoes
• Guzzlr souvenir stein
• Guzzlr tablet
• Guzzlr tattoo kit
• Guzzlrbuck
• Gygaxian Libram
• Gyromitra Dynomita mushroom
• HOA citation pad
• HOA regulation book
• HOA zombie eyes
• HP-35 Calculator
• Hanukkimbo dreidl
• Hat O' Nine Tails
• Haunted Sorority House staff guide
• Hawking's Elixir of Brilliance
• Heimandatz's heart
• Heimz Fortified Kidney Beans
• Hell and How I Bent It
• Hell broth
• Hell ramen
• Hellfire Spicy Beans
• Helm of the Scream Emperor
• Helps-You-Sleep
• Helvella Haemophilia mushroom
• Hide-rox™ cookie
• Highest Bitter
• Himalayan Hidalgo sauce
• History's Most Offensive Jokes, Vol. IX
• Hjodor's Guide to Arctic Dalmatians
• Hjodor's Guide to Arctic Dalmatians (used)
• Hodgman's almanac
• Hodgman's blanket
• Hodgman's bow tie
• Hodgman's cane
• Hodgman's disgusting technicolor overcoat
• Hodgman's garbage sticker
• Hodgman's harmonica
• Hodgman's imaginary hamster
• Hodgman's journal #1: The Lean Times
• Hodgman's journal #2: Entrepreneurythmics
• Hodgman's journal #3: Pumping Tin
• Hodgman's journal #4: View From The Big Top
• Hodgman's lobsterskin pants
• Hodgman's lucky sock
• Hodgman's metal detector
• Hodgman's porkpie hat
• Hodgman's varcolac paw
• Hodgman's whackin' stick
• Holiday Fun!
• Holiday Hal's Happy-Time Fun Book!
• Holiday Multitasking
• Holiday Multitasking (used)
• Homebodyl™
• Horsery contract
• Hot Socks
• How To Get Bigger Without Really Trying
• How to Avoid Scams
• How to Hold a Grudge
• How to Lose Friends and Attract Snakes
• How to Lose Friends and Attract Snakes (used)
• How to Play Othello
• How to Tolerate Jerks
• Hoyle's Guide to Reindeer Games
• Hoyle's Guide to Reindeer Games (used)
• Huggler Radio
• Humpty Dumplings
• Hundred Headed IPA
• Hunger™ Sauce
• Ice Island Long Tea
• Ice-Cold Aluminum Necklace
• Ice-Cold Beer Ring
• Ice-Cold Beerring
• Idol of Ak'gyxoth
• Illustrated Mating Rituals of the Gallapagos
• Inigo's Incantation of Inspiration
• Inigo's Incantation of Inspiration (crumpled)
• Instant Karma
• Interview With You (a Vampire)
• Irish eggnog
• Iron Beta of Industry
• Ish Kabibble
• Island Drinkin', a Tiki Mixology Odyssey
• Island Hurricane
• Island Landslide
• Island Thunderstorm
• Item #13
• Iunion Crown
• Jack-O-Lantern beer
• Jackass Plumber home game
• Jamaican coffee
• Jamocha berry
• January's Garbage Tote
• January's Garbage Tote (unopened)
• Jarlsberg's pan
• Jarlsberg's pan (Cosmic portal mode)
• Jarlsberg's vegetable soup
• Jawmaster 2000™
• Jeans of Loathing
• Jekyllin hide belt
• Jeppson's Malort
• Jerks' Health™ Magazine
• Jick's autograph
• Jick-o-User
• Jocko Homo's head
• Jodhpurs of Violence
• Jokester makeup
• Juju Mojo Mask
• June cleaver
• Jungle Juice
• Junior Adventurer's kit
• Junior Adventurer's merit badge
• Junior LAAAAME merit badge
• Jurassic Parka
• Keese berry
• Kelflar vest
• Kevlar balloon
• Kissin' Cousins
• Knob Göblin lòve potion
• Knob Goblin Mutagen
• Knob lo mein
• Knob mushroom
• Knob stroganoff
• Knob stuffed shells
• Knoll lo mein
• KoL Con 12-gauge
• KoL Con 13 snowglobe
• KoL Con 3-D Glasses
• KoL Con 8-Bit power bracelet
• KoL Con Cinco Piñata Bat
• KoL Con IV Pole
• KoL Con Six Pack
• KoL Con X Bingo Card
• KoL Con X Treasure Map
• KoLHS Pep Squad Box
• Kokomo Resort Brand Suntan Oil
• Kokomo Resort Chip
• Kokomo Resort Order Pad
• Kokomo Resort Pass
• Krakrox's Loincloth
• Kramco Industries packing carton
• Kramco Sausage-o-Matic™
• Krampus Horn
• Kremlin's Greatest Briefcase
• Kudzu salad
• Kudzu slaw
• L.I.M.P. Stock Certificate
• LARP carp
• LARP membership card
• LCD game: Burger Belt
• LCD game: Food Eater
• LCD game: Garbage River
• LED candle
• LI-11 Motor Pool voucher
• LIDAR candle
• LOLmec statuette
• LOV Echinacea Bouquet
• LOV Elephant
• LOV Elixir #3
• LOV Elixir #6
• LOV Elixir #9
• LOV Emotionizer
• LOV Enamorang
• LOV Entrance Pass
• LOV Extraterrestrial Chocolate
• LT&T tattoo kit
• LT&T telegraph office deed
• LWA ring
• La Hebilla del Cinturón de Lopez
• Lapis Lazuli
• Lars the Cyberian
• Lava Miner's Daughter
• Lavalos's shell
• Law of Averages
• Lazenby's Life Lesson
• Lead Zeta of Chastity
• Leapin' Trousers
• Lederhosen of the Night
• Left-Hand Man action figure
• Lemonade-235
• Lens of Hatred
• Lens of Violence
• Lepardner
• Let Me Be!
• Letter from Carrie Bradshaw
• Lewd Lemmy Hair Oil
• Liam's mail
• Libram of BRICKOs
• Libram of Candy Heart Summoning
• Libram of Divine Favors
• Libram of Love Songs
• Libram of Pulled Taffy
• Libram of Resolutions
• License To Kill
• License to Chill
• Lil' Doctor™ bag
• Lil' Snowball Factory
• Little Geneticist DNA-Splicing Lab
• Living to Drink, Drinking to Live
• Loathing Idol Microphone
• Loathing Idol Microphone (25% charged)
• Loathing Idol Microphone (50% charged)
• Loathing Idol Microphone (75% charged)
• Loathing Legion abacus
• Loathing Legion can opener
• Loathing Legion chainsaw
• Loathing Legion corkscrew
• Loathing Legion defibrillator
• Loathing Legion double prism
• Loathing Legion electric knife
• Loathing Legion flamethrower
• Loathing Legion hammer
• Loathing Legion helicopter
• Loathing Legion jackhammer
• Loathing Legion kitchen sink
• Loathing Legion knife
• Loathing Legion many-purpose hook
• Loathing Legion moondial
• Loathing Legion necktie
• Loathing Legion pizza stone
• Loathing Legion rollerblades
• Loathing Legion tape measure
• Loathing Legion tattoo needle
• Loathing Legion universal screwdriver
• Lobster qua Grill
• Lord Flameface's cloak
• Lord Soggyraven's Slippers
• Lord Spookyraven's ear trumpet
• Loudmouth Larry Lamprey
• Love Potions and the Wizards who Mix Them
• Lucky Lindy
• Lucky Strikes holo-record
• Ludovico Pastaco
• Lumineux Limnio
• Lump-Stacking for Beginners
• LyleCo Contractor's Manual
• LyleCo premium magnifying glass
• LyleCo premium monocle
• LyleCo premium pickaxe
• LyleCo premium rope
• MAHI fez
• MSG
• Mace of the Tortoise
• Mae West
• Mafia bow tie
• Mafia stogie
• Mafia violin case
• Maiali Sifilitici Pinot Noir
• Make-Your-Own-Vampire-Fangs kit
• Mallomarbles
• Mansquito Serum
• Mansquito's blood
• Manual of Lock Picking
• Manual of Numberology
• Manual of Secret Door Detection
• Manual of Transcendent Olfaction
• Map to Kokomo
• March hat
• Mariner's Friend cough drops
• Mark of the Bugbear
• Mark of the Ghost
• Mark of the Skeleton
• Mark of the Vampire
• Mark of the Werewolf
• Mark of the Zombie
• Marltini
• Martialest Arts trophy
• Marvelous Unitard
• Master Thief's utility belt
• Maxing, Relaxing
• MayDay™ contract
• Mayam Calendar
• Mayam spinach
• Mayflower bouquet
• Mayo de Mayo™ mayo
• Mayodiol
• Mayoflex
• Mayonex
• Mayor Ghost's cloak
• Mayor Ghost's gavel
• Mayor Ghost's khakis
• Mayor Ghost's sash
• Mayor Ghost's scissors
• Mayor Ghost's toupee
• Mayostat
• Mayozapine
• McPhee's Grimoire of Hilarious Object Summoning
• Meat Butler
• Meat-inflating powder
• Meatcleaver
• Mechamelion
• Medallion of the Ventrilo Prince
• Medical Pastaco
• Memories of Beanslinging
• Memories of Cow Punching
• Memories of Snake Oiling
• Memory Disk, Alpha
• Mer-kin begsign
• Mer-kin breastplate
• Mer-kin bunwig
• Mer-kin cancerstick
• Mer-kin cheatsheet
• Mer-kin cooljuice
• Mer-kin darkbook
• Mer-kin digpick
• Mer-kin dodgeball
• Mer-kin dragbelt
• Mer-kin dragnet
• Mer-kin eyedrops
• Mer-kin eyeglasses
• Mer-kin facecowl
• Mer-kin fastjuice
• Mer-kin finpaddle
• Mer-kin fitbrine
• Mer-kin foodbucket
• Mer-kin gladiator mask
• Mer-kin gladiator tailpiece
• Mer-kin gutgirdle
• Mer-kin hallpass
• Mer-kin headguard
• Mer-kin healscroll
• Mer-kin hookspear
• Mer-kin killscroll
• Mer-kin knucklebone
• Mer-kin lipstick
• Mer-kin lunchbox
• Mer-kin mouthsoap
• Mer-kin paste
• Mer-kin pinkslip
• Mer-kin prayerbeads
• Mer-kin pressureglobe
• Mer-kin ragejuice
• Mer-kin rollpin
• Mer-kin roundshield
• Mer-kin sawdust
• Mer-kin scholar mask
• Mer-kin scholar tailpiece
• Mer-kin smartjuice
• Mer-kin sneakmask
• Mer-kin stopwatch
• Mer-kin strongjuice
• Mer-kin switchblade
• Mer-kin takebag
• Mer-kin thighguard
• Mer-kin thingpouch
• Mer-kin waistrope
• Mer-kin weaksauce
• Mer-kin wordquiz
• Mer-kin worktea
• Merc Core Field Manual: Intimidation Techniques
• Merc Core Field Manual: Sanity Maintenance
• Merc Core challenge coin
• Merc Core deployment orders
• Mesmereyes™ contact lenses
• Meteoid ice beam
• Middle of the Road™ brand whiskey
• Mini-Crimbot crate
• MiniMechaElf Laser Punch Missile Launcher
• Mint Salton Pepper's Peppermint Seed Catalog
• Mint-in-box Moonthril Circlet
• Mint-in-box Moonthril Cuirass
• Mint-in-box Moonthril Flamberge
• Mint-in-box Moonthril Greaves
• Mint-in-box Moonthril Longbow
• Miss Graves' vermouth
• Misty Cape
• Misty Robe
• Mixed Garbanzos and Chickpeas
• Mjolnir Jr.
• Mmm-brr! brand mouthwash
• Mob Penguin protection contract
• Mon Tiki
• Monster Manuel
• Moon Pie
• Moonthril Schnapps
• Moping Artistic Goth Kid
• Morlock's Mark Bourbon
• Morphan
• Mortimer's nostrum
• Morto Moreto
• Mountain Stream Code Black Alert
• Mountain Stream gastrique
• Mr. Accessaturday
• Mr. Accessory
• Mr. Accessory Jr.
• Mr. Balloon
• Mr. Big's Wallet
• Mr. Burnsger
• Mr. Cheeng's spectacles
• Mr. Container
• Mr. Eh?
• Mr. Exploiter
• Mr. Joe's bangles
• Mr. Screege's spectacles
• Mr. Shirt
• Mrs. Rush
• Ms. Accessory
• Mt. Noob Pale Ale
• Mu
• Mudflap-Girl Earring
• Mudflap-Girl Necklace
• Mudflap-Girl Ring
• Murderer's Punch
• Murgatroyd diode
• Muschat
• Mustardigrade
• My First Art of War
• My First Paycheck envelope
• My Life of Crime, a Memoir
• My Own Pen Pal kit
• Mylar balloon
• Mysterious Stranger
• N. O. Beer
• NPZR chemistry set
• Nadsat berry
• Napalm In The Morning™ candle
• Nardz energy beverage
• Neuromancer
• Never Don't Stop Not Striving
• Neverending Party favor
• Neverending Party guest pass
• Neverending Party invitation envelope
• New Age hurting crystal
• New Cloaca-Cola
• New Zealand iced tea
• New-You Club Membership Form
• Newbiesport™ backpack
• Newman's Own Trousers
• Nickel Gamma of Frugality
• Nightmare Fuel
• Nightstalker perfume
• No Hats as Art
• Nog-on-the-Cob
• Non-Euclidean Finance
• Nose Ring of Putrescence
• Novelty Belt Buckle of Violence
• Now You're Cooking With Grease
• Nursine
• O
• Official Council Aide Pin
• Official Seal of Dreadsylvania
• Ogres and Oubliettes™ module
• Ol' Scratch's ash can
• Ol' Scratch's infernal pitchfork
• Ol' Scratch's manacles
• Ol' Scratch's ol' britches
• Ol' Scratch's salad fork
• Ol' Scratch's stove door
• Ol' Scratch's stovepipe hat
• Olympic-sized Clan crate
• Omphalotus Omphaloskepsis mushroom
• Oopsie IPA
• Operation Patriot Shield
• Oppossum
• Orange Star of Sacrifice
• Order of the Green Thumb Order Form
• Order of the Silver Wossname
• Oreille Divisée brandy
• Oscus's dumpster waders
• Oscus's flypaper pants
• Oscus's garbage can lid
• Oscus's neverending soda
• Oscus's pelt
• Osk'r Chow
• Othello's dagger
• Othello's handkerchief
• Othello's military jacket
• Otorian Battle Scar
• Our Daily Candles™ order form
• Outer Wolf™ cologne
• P.B.L.T.
• PARTY HARD T-shirt
• PB&BP
• PB&J with the crusts cut off
• Pack of Alice's Army Foil Cards
• Pack of Every Card
• Pan-Dimensional Gargle Blaster
• Panda outfit
• Pantaloons of Hatred
• Pantsgiving
• Party Planning on a Budget
• Party Tattoo™ gift certificate
• Party-in-a-Can™
• Pasta Spoon of Peril
• Pastaco shell
• Peaclock
• Pecos Dave's sixgun
• Peek-a-Boo!
• Pendant of Fire
• Pendant of Gargalesis
• Pener's drumstick
• Peppermint Pip Packet
• Periodical Paintbrush
• Pete & Jackie's Dragon Tooth Emporium Catalog
• Pete's rich ricotta
• Pete's wiley whey bar
• Petite Paintbrush
• Phonus Balonus
• Piddles
• Pigsticker of Violence
• Pillowbug
• Pimpsqueak
• Pink Heart of Spirit
• PirateRealm guest pass
• PirateRealm membership packet
• PirateRealm party hat
• Pizza of Legend
• Platinum HP-35 Calculator
• Platinum Yendorian Express Card
• Pneumo bar
• Pocket Guide to Mild Evil
• Pocket Guide to Mild Evil (used)
• Pocket Meteor Guide
• Pocket Meteor Guide (well-thumbed)
• Pocket Professor memory chip
• Pocket Square of Loathing
• Poké-Gro fertilizer
• Pokéfam Guide to Capturing All of Them
• Polka Pop
• Pop Art: a Guide
• Pork 'n' Pork 'n' Pork 'n' Beans
• Potion of Heroism
• Power-Guy 2000 holo-record
• Powerful Glove
• Prelude of Precision
• Pretty Predator Clawicure Kit
• Professor of Spelunkology
• Protects-Your-Junk
• Psycho From The Heat
• Puffstone cigar
• Punching Potion
• Purple Beast energy drink
• Purple Horseshoe of Honor
• Putrid Pendant
• Quaatorade™
• Quartet of Flare Masters Jacket
• Quiets-Your-Steps
• Rümpelstiltz
• ROM of Optimality
• Racisto Ruidoso
• Rad-B-Gone (1 lb.)
• Rad-Pro (1 oz.)
• Radio Free Baseball Cap
• Radio Free Foil
• Radio Free Jersey
• Radio Free Pants
• Radio KoL Antenna Ball
• Radio KoL Bottle Opener
• Radio KoL Coffee Mug
• Radio KoL Flashlight
• Radio KoL Keychain
• Radio KoL Maracas
• Radio KoL Patch
• Raggedy Hippy doll
• Rainbow Jello Mould
• Rainbow's Gravity
• Ralph IX cognac
• Really Expensive Jewelry and You
• Recipe of Before Yore: Boris's beer
• Recipe of Before Yore: Boris's bread
• Recipe of Before Yore: Calzone of Legend
• Recipe of Before Yore: Deep Dish of Legend
• Recipe of Before Yore: Jarlsberg's vegetable soup
• Recipe of Before Yore: Pete's rich ricotta
• Recipe of Before Yore: Pete's wily whey bar
• Recipe of Before Yore: Pizza of Legend
• Recipe of Before Yore: St. Pete's sneaky smoothie
• Recipe of Before Yore: baked veggie ricotta
• Recipe of Before Yore: honey bun of Boris
• Recipe of Before Yore: plain calzone
• Recipe of Before Yore: ratatouille de Jarlsberg
• Recipe of Before Yore: roasted vegetable focaccia
• Recipe of Before Yore: roasted vegetable of J.
• Red Balloon of Valor
• Red Fox glove
• Red Roger tattoo kit
• Red Roger's red left foot
• Red Roger's red left hand
• Red Roger's red right foot
• Red Roger's red right hand
• Red Roger's reliquary
• Red Roger's skull
• Red Russian
• Redeye™ Eyedrops
• Retenez L'Herbe Paté
• Rethinking Candy
• Retrospecs
• Retrospecs try-at-home kit
• Riker's Search History
• Ring of Fire
• Ring of the Sewer Snake
• Rock Garden Guide
• Rock and Roll Legend
• Rogue Windmill Rouge
• Roman Candelabra
• Roman sadnals
• Royal scepter
• Rubee™
• Ruffalo
• S.A.V.E. flyer
• S.I.T. Course Completion Certificate
• S.L.E.I.G.H.B.E.L.L.S.
• S.S. Ticket
• S.T.L.T.
• SMOOCH coffee cup
• STYX deodorant body spray
• Saccharine Maple pendant
• Sacramento wine
• Safari Jack's moustache
• Saison du Lune
• SalesCo sample kit
• Salsa Caliente™ candle
• Salsa Libre
• Sasq™ watch
• Satan hat
• Scandalously Skimpy Bikini
• Scent of a Human™ candle
• Scepter of Loathing
• Sceptre of the Torremolinos Prince
• Schmalz's First Prize Beer
• School of Hard Knocks Diploma
• Schrödinger's thermos
• Science Notebook
• Scorpion Bowl
• Scratch 'n' Sniff Sticker Tome
• Scratch-and-Sniff Guide to Dinseylandfill
• Scuba Snack
• Scurvy and Sobriety Prevention
• Sealed TakerSpace letter of Marque
• Seasonal Beret
• Secrets of the Master Egg Hunters
• Secrets of the Master Egg Hunters (used)
• Senior LAAAAME merit badge
• Sensual Massage for Creeps
• Sept-Ember Censer
• Septapus summoning charm
• Sequestrian
• Seven Loco
• Sexy Cosmo
• Shantix™
• Shield of Icy Fate
• Shielding Potion
• Shot of Kardashian Gin
• Shrieking Weasel holo-record
• Shrub's Premium Baked Beans
• Shudder
• Silly Little Love Song
• Silver Bullet beer
• Silver HP-35 Calculator
• Single Alice's Army Foil
• Site Alpha ID badge
• Sitrep berry
• Size XI Wizard's Robe
• Sketcherz™
• Skipper's accordion
• Skull Punch
• Skullhead's Screw
• Skully's hot chocolate
• Sledgehamster
• Sloppy Jalopy
• Sloppy Seconds Diner Employee Handbook
• Slotter
• Small Medium
• Smashmoth
• Smoldering Clover™ candle
• Smuggler's Punch
• Snarf berry
• Sneaky Pete's leather jacket
• Sneaky Pete's leather jacket (collar popped)
• Snoutlet
• Snow Suit
• Sockdollager
• Sogg-Os
• Solstice Shield
• Sombrero De Vida
• SongBoom™ BoomBox
• SongBoom™ BoomBox Box
• Sorcerers of the Shore Grimoire
• Source essence
• Source shades
• Source terminal
• Source terminal ASHRAM chip
• Source terminal CRAM chip
• Source terminal DIAGRAM chip
• Source terminal DRAM chip
• Source terminal GRAM chip
• Source terminal INGRAM chip
• Source terminal PRAM chip
• Source terminal SCRAM chip
• Source terminal SPAM chip
• Source terminal TRAM chip
• Source terminal TRIGRAM chip
• Source terminal file: compress.edu
• Source terminal file: cram.ext
• Source terminal file: critical.enh
• Source terminal file: damage.enh
• Source terminal file: dram.ext
• Source terminal file: duplicate.edu
• Source terminal file: familiar.ext
• Source terminal file: gram.ext
• Source terminal file: portscan.edu
• Source terminal file: pram.ext
• Source terminal file: protect.enq
• Source terminal file: spam.ext
• Source terminal file: stats.enq
• Source terminal file: substats.enh
• Source terminal file: tram.ext
• Source terminal file: turbo.edu
• Sourfinger
• Southern yam
• Souvenir Chopsticks
• Sp'n-Zor's Grimoire of "Tasteful" Gifts
• Space Baby bawbaw
• Space Baby children's book
• Space Pirate Astrogation Handbook
• Space Trip safety headphones
• Spacegate Initiative tattoo unit
• Spacegate Research
• Spacegate access badge
• Spacegate diplomat's insignia
• Spacegate emergency disintegrator
• Spacegate military insignia
• Spacegate scientist's insignia
• Spaghetti with Moonballs
• Spasmi Dolorosi Del Rene Champagne
• Special Seasoning
• Special™ Sauce
• Spellbook: Drescher's Annoying Noise
• Spellbook: Singer's Faithful Ocelot
• Spellbook: Walberg's Dim Bulb
• Spelunker of Fortune
• Spelunker of Fortune (used)
• Spelunker's Guild prize sack
• Spelunker's fedora
• Spelunker's khakis
• Spelunker's whip
• SpinMaster™ lathe
• Spirit of Christmas
• Spirit of Easter
• Spirit of St. Patrick's Day
• Spirit of Thanksgiving
• Spirit of Veteran's Day
• Spooky Putty ball
• Spooky Putty leotard
• Spooky Putty mitre
• Spooky Putty monster
• Spooky Putty sheet
• Spooky Putty snake
• Spooky VHS Tape
• Spookyraven signet
• Spring Break Beach "swimsuit"
• Spring Break Beach tattoo coupon
• Spring Bros. ID badge
• Spring Bros. solenoid
• Squib
• St. Pete's sneaky smoothie
• St. Sneaky Pete's Whey
• Stabonic scroll
• Staff of Blood and Pudding
• Staff of Frozen Lard
• Staff of Holiday Sensations
• Staff of Kitchen Royalty
• Staff of Queso Escusado
• Staff of Simmering Hatred
• Staff of the Black Kettle
• Staff of the Cozy Fish
• Staff of the Deepest Freeze
• Staff of the Electric Range
• Staff of the Grand Flambé
• Staff of the Grease Trap
• Staff of the Greasefire
• Staff of the Kitchen Floor
• Staff of the Midnight Snack
• Staff of the Peppermint Twist
• Staff of the Roaring Hearth
• Staff of the Scummy Sink
• Staff of the Short Order Cook
• Staff of the Soupbone
• Staff of the Teapot Tempest
• Staff of the Walk-In Freezer
• Staff of the Well-Tempered Cauldron
• Staff of the Woodfire
• Star Spawn
• Star of Bravery
• Steamboat
• Stembridge sidearm
• Stemonitis Staticus mushroom
• Stick-Knife of Loathing
• Stone Golem pebbles
• Stooper
• Straypler
• Strix stix
• Strong, Silent Type
• Stupid University Diploma
• Summer Nights
• Superdrifter holo-record
• Superhero Reboots
• Swedish coffee
• Sword of Dark Omens
• Sword of Procedural Generation
• Sword of the Brouhaha Prince
• TΤ◊lisman of Baiø‡
• TRIO cup of beer
• Taco Dan's Basic Taco Dan Taco
• Taco Dan's Super Taco-Riffic Taco Sauce!
• Taco Dan's Taco Fish Fish Taco
• TakerSpace letter of Marque
• Tales from the Fireside
• Tales of Dread
• Tales of Spelunking
• Tales of Western Braggadoccio
• Tales of the Word Realms
• Talisman of Baio
• Talisman of Bakula
• Tapioc berry
• Tea, Earl Grey, Hot
• Telltale™ rubber heart
• Temporal Tempera Tube
• Temps Tempranillo
• Tesla's Electroplated Beans
• Thanksgiving ration
• That 70s Cologne
• The Art of Slapfighting
• The Art of Slapfighting (used)
• The Author's ink
• The Author's inkwell
• The Autobiography Of Dynamite Superman Jones
• The Ballad of Richie Thingfinder
• The Beast Within™ candle
• The Big Book of Communism
• The Big Book of Communism (used)
• The Big Book of Every Skill
• The Bomb
• The Chill of the Wild
• The Cocktail Shaker
• The Confiscator's Grimoire
• The Cooler Out of Space
• The Crown of Ed the Undying
• The Emperor's dry cleaning
• The Emperor's new hat
• The Emperor's new pants
• The Emperor's new shirt
• The Encyclopedia of Fruit
• The Encyclopedia of Fruit (used)
• The Eye of the Thing in the Basement
• The Fingernail of the Thing in the Basement
• The Firegate Tapes
• The Fun-Guy Cold Weather Bartender's Guide
• The Ghoul King's ghoulottes
• The Gingerbread Vigilante's Handbook
• The Groose in the Hoose
• The Imploded World
• The Inquisitor's unidentifiable object
• The Jokester's gun
• The Jokester's pants
• The Jokester's wig
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 1
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 1 (used)
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 2
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 2 (used)
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 3
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 3 (used)
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 4
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 4 (used)
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 5
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 5 (used)
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 6
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 6 (used)
• The Kloop in the Coop
• The Landscaper's leafblower
• The Legendary Beat
• The Mad Liquor
• The Mariachi's guitar case
• The Necbromancer's Hat
• The Necbromancer's Shorts
• The Necbromancer's Stein
• The Necbromancer's Wizard Staff
• The Necbronomicon
• The Necbronomicon (used)
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 1
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 1 (used)
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 2
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 2 (used)
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 3
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 3 (used)
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 4
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 4 (used)
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 5
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 5 (used)
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 6
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 6 (used)
• The Nose Knows, A Guide to Smells
• The Nose Knows, A Guide to Smells (read)
• The Nuge's favorite crossbow
• The One Mood Ring
• The Pigs holo-record
• The Plumber's mushroom stew
• The Ring
• The Sagittarian's leisure pants
• The Six-Pack of Pain
• The Smith's Tome
• The Snitch's Manifesto
• The Spirit of Crimbo
• The Spirit of Giving
• The Spirit of Giving (used)
• The Superconductor's CPU
• The Sword in the Steak
• The Thorax's Codex of Tormenting Plants
• The Western Look
• They'll Love You In Rhinestones
• Thinknerd's Grimoire of Geeky Gifts
• Third Eye
• Thor's Pliers
• Three Mile Island shorts
• Thriller Ice
• Thunkula's drinking cap
• Thwaitgold Goliath beetle statuette
• Thwaitgold Illinigina illinoiensis model
• Thwaitgold amoeba statuette
• Thwaitgold ant statuette
• Thwaitgold anti-moth statuette
• Thwaitgold bee statuette
• Thwaitgold bombardier beetle statuette
• Thwaitgold bookworm statuette
• Thwaitgold bug statuette
• Thwaitgold butterfly statuette
• Thwaitgold buzzy beetle statuette
• Thwaitgold caterpillar statuette
• Thwaitgold chigger statuette
• Thwaitgold cockroach statuette
• Thwaitgold dragonfly statuette
• Thwaitgold fairyfly statue
• Thwaitgold fire beetle statuette
• Thwaitgold firefly statuette
• Thwaitgold grasshopper statuette
• Thwaitgold harvestman statuette
• Thwaitgold keyhole spider statuette
• Thwaitgold listening bug statuette
• Thwaitgold maggot statuette
• Thwaitgold masked hunter statuette
• Thwaitgold metabug statuette
• Thwaitgold mosquito statuette
• Thwaitgold mosquito-in-amber statuette
• Thwaitgold moth statuette
• Thwaitgold nit statuette
• Thwaitgold nymph statuette
• Thwaitgold praying mantis statuette
• Thwaitgold protozoa statuette
• Thwaitgold quantum bug statuette
• Thwaitgold scarab beetle statuette
• Thwaitgold scorpion statuette
• Thwaitgold shield bug statuette
• Thwaitgold slug statuette
• Thwaitgold spider statuette
• Thwaitgold splendor beetle statuette
• Thwaitgold stag beetle statuette
• Thwaitgold termite statuette
• Thwaitgold time fly statuette
• Thwaitgold wheel bug statuette
• Thwaitgold wolf spider statuette
• Thwaitgold woollybear statuette
• Tickle-Me Emilio
• Time Bandit Badge of Courage
• Time Bandit Time Towel
• Time Cape
• Time Cloak
• Time Juice
• Time Lord Badge of Honor
• Time Lord Participation Mug
• Time-Spinner
• To Build an Igloo
• Toddler-sized Dragon Costume
• Tome of Clip Art
• Tome of Rad Libs
• Tome of Snowcone Summoning
• Tome of Sugar Shummoning
• Too Cold to Hold: How to Be Cool - A Memoir
• Too Cold to Hold: How to Be Cool - A Memoir (read)
• Totally Gay Claymore
• Trader Olaf's Exotic Stinkbeans
• Trafikoan
• Trainbot autoassembly module
• Trainbot circuitry
• Trainbot harness
• Trainbot linkages
• Trainbot luggage hook
• Trainbot optics
• Trainbot plating
• Trainbot radar monocle
• Trainbot servomotors
• Trainbot slag
• Trainbot tubing
• Trash, a Memoir
• Travels with Jerry
• Travoltan trousers
• Treads of Loathing
• Tremella Tarantella mushroom
• Trivial Avocations Card: What?
• Trivial Avocations Card: When?
• Trivial Avocations Card: Where?
• Trivial Avocations Card: Who?
• Trivial Avocations board game
• Tropical Crimbo Hat
• Tropical Crimbo Shorts
• Tropical Crimbo Sword
• Trout Fishing in Loathing
• Truthsayer
• Turpin
• Turtive
• Turtle Bowl
• Twelve Night Energy
• Twitching Television Tattoo
• UV monocular
• Ultimate Mind Destroyer
• Ultra Mega Sour Ball
• Ultrasoldier Serum
• Unagnimated Gnome
• Uncle Crimbo's Sack
• Uncle Crimbo's hat
• Uncle Hobo's belt
• Uncle Hobo's epic beard
• Uncle Hobo's fingerless tinsel gloves
• Uncle Hobo's gift baggy pants
• Uncle Hobo's highest bough
• Uncle Hobo's stocking cap
• Uncle Romulus
• Uncle Romulus (used)
• Underworld acorn
• Underworld flail
• Underworld sapling
• Underworld truncheon
• Underworld trunk
• Unfortunato's foolscap
• Ungulant
• Unionize The Elves sign
• Universal Seasoning
• Unkillable Skeleton's breastplate
• Unkillable Skeleton's restless leg
• Unkillable Skeleton's sawsword
• Unkillable Skeleton's shield
• Unkillable Skeleton's shinguards
• Unkillable Skeleton's skullcap
• Unmotivator: Crashed Meat Car
• Unmotivator: Crashed Orca
• Unmotivator: Success Warrior
• Unopened Eight Days a Week Pill Keeper
• Unspeakable Earring
• Unspeakachu
• Uovo Marcio Shiraz
• Ur-Donut
• Uranium Omega of Temperance
• V for Vivala mask
• VYKEA blood rune
• VYKEA bracket
• VYKEA dowel
• VYKEA frenzy rune
• VYKEA hex key
• VYKEA instructions
• VYKEA lightning rune
• VYKEA mead
• VYKEA meatballs
• VYKEA plank
• VYKEA rail
• VYKEA woadpaint
• Val-U Brand Every Bean Salad
• Valentine's Day cake
• Vamprey
• Vaporpoise
• Vegetable of Jarlsberg
• Velougats™
• Velvet Veil
• Venus flytrap
• Vial of jus de larmes
• Victor's Spoils
• Vivian's Vitamin
• Volartta's bellbottoms
• Volcoino
• Voluminous Radio Hat
• Voluminous Radio Pants
• Voluminous Radio Sneakers
• Vulgure
• Waifuton
• Wal-Mart "diamond" ring
• Wal-Mart gift certificate
• Wal-Mart nametag
• Wal-Mart overalls
• Wal-Mart snowglobe
• Wal-Mart tattoo kit
• Wand of Oscus
• Warehouse 23 bling
• Warehouse 23 crate
• Warms-Your-Tush
• Wart Dinsey: An Afterlife
• Wendtigo
• Western Slang Vol. 1: Violence
• Western Slang Vol. 2: Cooking
• Western Slang Vol. 3: Fraud
• Wet Russian
• White Dragon Fang
• Winifred's whistle
• Witchess Set
• World's Blackest-Eyed Peas
• Wrecked Generator
• Wullabye
• X
• X-32-F snowman crate
• X-37 gun
• Xi Receiver Unit
• Xiblaxian holo-bowtie
• Xlyinia's notebook
• Yakisoba's hat
• Ye Olde Navy Fleece
• Yeast of Boris
• Yeg's Motel alarm clock
• Yeg's Motel ashtray
• Yeg's Motel disposable razor
• Yeg's Motel hand soap
• Yeg's Motel minibar key
• Yeg's Motel mouthwash
• Yeg's Motel pillow mint
• Yeg's Motel sewing kit
• Yeg's Motel stationery
• Yeg's Motel toothbrush
• Yellow Moon of Compassion
• Yeti Protest Sign
• Yorick
• Young Man's Cargo Load
• Young Man's Crew Sequester
• Zinc Delta of Tranquility
• Zombo's empty eye
• Zombo's grievous greaves
• Zombo's shield
• Zombo's shoulder blade
• Zombo's skull ring
• Zombo's skullcap
• Zu Mannkäse Dienen
• Zu Mannkäse Dienen (used)
• [glitch season reward name]
• [reuse me]
• a bug's lymph
• a cute angel
• a suspicious address
• abstraction: action
• abstraction: category
• abstraction: certainty
• abstraction: comprehension
• abstraction: joy
• abstraction: motion
• abstraction: perception
• abstraction: purpose
• abstraction: sensation
• abstraction: thought
• abyssal battle plans
• acceptable mayolus
• accidental mutton
• accord ion
• accordion file
• accordionoid rocca
• actual blood sausage
• adobe abacus
• adobe abaya
• adobe adze
• adobe arsecover
• adobe ascot
• adobe assortment
• adobe ayam
• adobe brittle
• adventurer clone egg
• aerated diving helmet
• aerogel accordion
• aerogel akubra
• aerogel anvil
• aerogel apron
• aerogel ascot
• aerogel attache case
• aerosolized aerogel
• affordable teak perch
• agnolotti arboli
• agua de vida
• airborne mutagen
• airplane charter: Conspiracy Island
• airplane charter: Dinseylandfill
• airplane charter: Spring Break Beach
• airplane charter: That 70s Volcano
• airplane charter: The Glaciest
• airplane tattoo
• alabaster bishop
• alabaster king
• alabaster knight
• alabaster pawn
• alabaster queen
• alabaster rook
• alarm accordion
• albatross necklace
• alien animal milk
• alien autoautopsy kit
• alien gemstone
• alien plant fibers
• alien plant goo
• alien plant pod
• alien plant sample
• alien rock sample
• alien source code printout
• alien source code printout (used)
• alien toenails
• alien zoological sample
• all-purpose flower
• all-year sucker
• almost-dead walkie-talkie
• alpine watercolor set
• amber aviator shades
• ammonite candy mold
• amphibious tophat
• anchor bomb
• ancient Elf dessert spoon
• ancient hot dog wrapper
• ancient meat
• ancient medicinal herbs
• ancient redwood
• ancient stone fist
• ancient stone head
• ancient turtle shell
• ancient turtle shell helmet
• ancient turtle shell powder
• anemone nematocyst
• anemone sauce
• anemoney clip
• angel-food cake
• anger blaster
• angry inch
• angst burger
• animal part cracker
• ankleweights
• annealed drippy orb
• anniversary balloon
• anniversary balsa wood socks
• anniversary burlap belt
• anniversary chutney sculpture
• anniversary concrete fedora
• anniversary pewter cape
• anniversary safety glass vest
• anniversary tiny latex mask
• ant antidepressant
• anti-burn cream
• anti-creep cream
• anti-freeze cream
• anti-goosebump cream
• anti-odor cream
• anti-pain cream
• antique accordion
• antique nutcracker beard
• antique nutcracker boots
• antique nutcracker cape
• antique nutcracker drumstick
• antique nutcracker epaulets
• antique nutcracker hat
• antique nutcracker pants
• antique nutcracker sword
• antique nutcracker waistcoat
• antique pair of blue jeans
• antique spyglass
• antique tacklebox
• apathetic lizardman doll
• aquamariner's necklace
• aquamariner's ring
• aquaviolet jub-jub bird
• arcanoferric housing
• archaeologing shovel
• armored prawn
• around the world
• arrow'd heart balloon
• arrowgram
• arse-a'fire elixir
• arse-shooting crossbow
• artisanal hand-squeezed wheatgrass juice
• asbestos apron
• asbestos crossbow string
• asbestos helmet turtle
• asbestos stick
• asbestos sword hilt
• asparagus lo mein
• astral badger
• astral mushroom
• astronaut ice-cream
• attention spanner
• augmented El Vibrato drone
• august scepter
• autocalliope
• automa-bot parts
• automatic wine thief
• autumn breeze
• autumn dollar
• autumn leaf
• autumn years wisdom
• autumn-spice donut
• autumnal aegis
• autumnic balm
• autumnic bomb
• avatar of the Unconscious Collective
• aviator goggles
• bätzle
• baby bark scorpion
• baby camelCalf
• baby chest mimic
• baby rigging snake
• babycakes
• backwoods banjo
• bacon bath ball
• baconstone earring
• baconstone pendant
• baconstone ring
• bacteria bisque
• bad penguin egg
• bad rum and good cola
• bad vibroknife
• badass pie
• badger badge
• bag of GORF
• bag of GORP
• bag of Iunion stones
• bag of QWOP
• bag of bones
• bag of foreign bribes
• bag of grain
• bag of gross foreign snacks
• bag of park garbage
• bag of random words
• bag of sausage links
• bag of unfinished business
• bagged Cargo Cultist Shorts
• bagged stuffed "L"
• baggie of regular-sized tardigrades
• baked veggie ricotta casserole
• bakelite backpack
• bakelite badge
• bakelite belt
• bakelite bits
• bakelite bowl
• bakelite breeches
• bakelite brooch
• balaclava
• balaclava baklava
• ballast turtle
• ballpark hot daub
• baloney rotgut
• balsa plank
• balsam barrel
• banana candle
• banana smoothie
• banana split
• banana-frosted king cake
• bananarama bangle
• baneful bandolier
• banjo kazoo mount
• baobab sap
• bar of freeze-dried water
• baritone accordion
• barnacle-encrusted sweater
• barnacled barrel
• barrel cracker
• barrel pickle
• barrel-aged eggnog
• barrelhead
• barskin buckler
• barskin cloak
• bartender-skull-in-the-box
• basic martini
• basking robin
• bat hat
• bat wings
• bat-ass leather jacket
• bath ball gift set
• battered old top-hat
• battery-powered drill
• battoo kit
• bauxite beret
• bauxite bow-tie
• bauxite boxers
• bazooka cozy
• beach ball marble
• beard incense
• beastly paste
• beaten-up Chucks
• beautiful rainbow
• beautiful soup
• beaver spear
• bed of coals
• beefy pill
• beer-battered accordion
• beery blood
• beet
• beetle antenna
• beggin' cologne
• begpwnia
• beige clambroth marble
• bejazzled eyepatch
• bejeweled accordion strap
• belemnite candy mold
• bellhop bell
• bellhop's hat
• belt of Ogrekind
• berries of suffering
• berry-infused sake
• best joke ever
• bewitching boots
• big boom
• big bumboozer marble
• big bundle of chamoix
• big dribbly candle
• big glob of skin
• big ol' trophy
• big slimy cyst
• big stirring stick
• big tun
• biker's hat
• bindle of joy
• biomechanical crimborg helmet
• biomechanical crimborg leg armor
• birdbone corset
• birdybug antenna
• birthday candle
• birthday party jellybean cheesecake
• bite-me-red lipstick
• bitter bowtie
• black Crimbo ball
• black belt
• black brandy
• black candygram
• black catseye marble
• black cowboy hat
• black gallstone
• black lotus
• black mana
• black slime glob
• black spot
• black tear
• black-and-blue light
• blackberry polite
• blammer
• blank fudge mold
• blank note
• blank prescription sheet
• blank white card
• blended frozen swill
• blessed rustproof +2 gray dragon scale mail
• blob of Alphredo™
• blob of wood glue
• blood and blood
• blood kiwi
• blood roll-up
• blood sausage
• blood snowcone
• blood-drive sticker
• blood-red mushroom wine
• blood-soaked sponge cake
• bloodstick
• bloody kiwitini
• blue class ring
• blue glowstick
• blue grass
• blue mana
• blue money bag
• blue plasma ball
• blue plastic baby
• blue potion
• blue pumps
• blue raspberry troll doll
• blue ribbon
• blue rocket
• blue shell
• blue snowcone
• blue suede shoes
• blue traffic cone
• blue tulip
• blue velvet cake
• blue-frosted astral cupcake
• blueberry-frosted king cake
• blunt cat claw
• blunt icepick
• bobcat grenade
• body spradium
• bodyguard badge
• bodyslam
• boilgun
• boiling broth
• boiling hot cocoa
• boiling seal blood
• bolder boulder
• bomb of unknown origin
• bone and arrows
• bone aperitif
• bone bandoneon
• bone broth
• bone chips
• bone crusher
• bone flour
• bone meal
• bone spurs
• boneana hammock
• bonedanna
• bonerang
• boning knife
• booby trap
• book of facts
• book of facts (dog-eared)
• boot flask
• boot knife
• boot plant
• booze bindle
• booze drive button
• booze mailing list
• boozebomb
• boring spaghetti
• borrowed time
• bottle of Bloodweiser
• bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon
• bottle of Calcutta Emerald
• bottle of Cochon Noir
• bottle of Definit
• bottle of Domesticated Turkey
• bottle of Goldschnöckered
• bottle of Jorge Sinsonte
• bottle of Lieutenant Freeman
• bottle of Ooze-O
• bottle of Pete's Sake
• bottle of Sanguiovese
• bottle of black cat tonic
• bottle of dark rhum
• bottle of extra-dark rhum
• bottle of extra-strength melodramamine
• bottle of fire
• bottle of fruity "wine"
• bottle of lighter fluid
• bottle of lovebug pheromones
• bottle of melodramamine
• bottle of moontan lotion
• bottle of norwhiskey
• bottle of perfume
• bottle of realpagne
• bottle of rhinoceros hormones
• bottle of sea wine
• bottle of sewage schnapps
• bottle of single-barrel whiskey
• bottle of super-extra-dark rhum
• bottle of wine
• bottle opener belt buckle
• bottle-rocket crossbow
• bottlecap turtle
• bottled Vampire Vintner
• bottled day
• bottled green pixie
• bottled inspiration
• bottled swamp gas
• bottoms of the barrel
• boulder
• bounty-hunting helmet
• bounty-hunting pants
• bounty-hunting rifle
• bow
• bow staff
• bowl full of jelly
• bowl of Bounty-Os
• bowl of Jeal-O
• bowl of Tastee-Wheet™
• bowl of eyeballs
• bowl of fishysoisse
• bowl of maggots
• bowl of marinade
• bowl of mummy guts
• bowl of oriole's nest soup
• bowl of prescription candy
• bowlegged pants
• bowler
• box o' ghosts
• box of Gratitude chocolates
• box of bear arms
• box of hammers
• box of hickory chips
• box turtle
• boxcar turtle
• boxed Apriling band helmet
• boxed Mayam Calendar
• boxed Sept-Ember Censer
• boxed august scepter
• boxed autumn-aton
• boxed bat wings
• boxed champagne
• boxed gumball machine
• boxing-glove-in-a-box
• brain preservation fluid
• brainwave-controlled unicorn horn
• brand new key
• brass Dreadsylvanian flask
• brass dorsal fin
• brass turkey knuckles
• brazen bracelet
• bread man
• bread pie
• breaded beer
• breakfast miracle
• breath mint
• brick
• briefcase full of sprinkles
• broberry brogurt
• brocolate brogurt
• broken El Vibrato drone
• broken beer bottle
• broken cellular phone
• broken chocolate pocketwatch
• broken clock
• broken glass grenade
• bronze
• bronze handcuffs
• bronze polish
• brown crock marble
• brown pirate pants
• brown pixel
• brown plastic baby
• browser cookie
• bubblegum heart
• bubblewrap bottlecap turtleban
• bubblin' chemistry solution
• bubbling tempura batter
• bucket of ancient Vampyre blood
• bucket of anniversary lard
• bucket of fish juice
• bucket of wine
• buffalo dime
• bug juice
• bug paste
• bugbear detector
• bugbear-smiting sword
• bugged bön±Ã©t
• bugged balaclava
• bugged beanie
• bulky free-range mushroom
• bullet necklace
• bumblebee marble
• bunch of sea grapes
• bundle of firewood
• bungle in the jungle
• burglar/sleep mask
• burnt flower
• burnt snowpants
• burnt stick
• burst hellseal brain
• butterfly knife
• buzzing mushroom wine
• cabooze
• cactus monocle
• caipifruta
• calavera concertina
• calm attention-deficit demon
• camouflage T-shirt
• campfire baked potato
• campfire beans
• campfire coffee
• campfire hot dog
• campfire s'more
• campfire smoke
• campfire stew
• can of Adultwitch™
• can of Binarrrca
• can of Minions-Be-Gone
• can of Rain-Doh
• can of V-11
• can of depilatory cream
• can of drain cleaner
• can of mixed everything
• can of sterno
• can of the cheapest beer
• can-can-in-a-can
• can-you-dig-it?
• candied almond
• candied beef and cabbage
• candied lime
• candied yam pinky ring
• candy cane sword cane
• candy cigarette
• candy cornucopia
• candy dog collar
• candy dress shoes
• candy drive button
• candy egg deviler
• candy knife
• candy mailing list
• candy mountain oyster
• candy necktie
• candy rations
• cannonbomb
• canteen of eggnog
• canteen of jungle juice
• cap gun
• captured boozles
• carbonite visor
• card sleeve
• cardboard box turtle
• caret
• carnivorous potted plant
• carob chunk noodles
• carrot cake precipice bar
• carton of gaspers
• cartoon harpoon
• cartoon heart
• cat o' nine teeth
• catfish whiskers
• catskin buckler
• catskin cap
• caustic slime nodule
• cement shoes
• censored can label
• centurion helmet
• ceramic celery grater
• ceramic celsiturometer
• ceramic cenobite's robe
• ceramic centurion shield
• ceramic cerecloth belt
• ceramic cestus
• ceramic scree
• chainsaw chain
• chalk chain
• chalk chalice
• chalk chapeau
• chalk chinos
• chalk chlamys
• chalk choker
• chalk chunks
• chamoisole
• charged magnet
• charpuce jub-jub bird
• cheap cigar butt
• cheap clip-on ninja tie
• cheap plastic bottle opener
• cheap plastic kazoo
• cheap studded belt
• cheap sunglasses
• cheer extractor
• cheesy eagle sauce
• cheezburger
• chef-skull-in-the-box
• cherry bomb
• chest barrel
• chest of "pirate gold"
• chewable paper
• chiffon carbage
• chiffon chakram
• chiffon chamberpot
• chiffon chapeau
• chiffon chaps
• chiffon chemise
• chiffon chevrons
• chiffon lemon
• child-sized dracula cloak
• chili powder cutlass
• chintzy accordion pin
• chintzy disco ball pendant
• chintzy noodle ring
• chintzy saucepan earring
• chintzy turtle brooch
• chiptune guitar
• chitin powder
• chitin powder paste
• chlorine crystal
• chloroform rag
• chlorophyll paste
• chocolate bath ball
• chocolate bowtie
• chocolate box
• chocolate covered ping-pong ball
• chocolate cow bone
• chocolate frosted sugar bomb
• chocolate leash
• chocolate ostrich egg
• chocolate pocketwatch
• chocolate puppy
• chocolate rabbit's foot
• chocolate-covered loofah
• chocolate-frosted king cake
• chocolate-stained collar
• chocomotive
• chocotini
• chorizo brownies
• chrome crossbow string
• chrome helmet turtle
• chrome stick
• chrome sword hilt
• chunk of rock salt
• cigar box turtle
• ciliophora chowder
• cinnamon cannoli
• cinnamon machine oil
• cinnamon troll doll
• circle drum
• citrus-infused sake
• clan underground fireworks shop
• class five ecto-larva
• claw-held flag
• clear Russian
• clerical automa-core
• clock-cleaning hammer
• clockwork bartender head
• clockwork bartender-head-in-the-box
• clockwork bartender-in-the-box
• clockwork chef head
• clockwork chef-head-in-the-box
• clockwork chef-in-the-box
• clockwork claws
• clockwork clockwise dome
• clockwork counterclockwise dome
• clockwork crossbow
• clockwork detective skull
• clockwork doohickey
• clockwork endoskeleton
• clockwork handle
• clockwork hat
• clockwork key
• clockwork maid
• clockwork maid head
• clockwork pants
• clockwork pirate skull
• clockwork rings
• clockwork rod
• clockwork shank
• clockwork sheet
• clockwork sphere
• clockwork spine
• clockwork staff
• clockwork sword
• clockwork thingamajig
• clockwork trench coat
• clockwork widget
• cloning kit
• closed-circuit pay phone
• closed-circuit phone system
• clovermint
• clownskin buckler
• clownskin harness
• club of the five seasons
• club sandwich
• clumsiness bark
• coal paperweight
• coal snakeskin
• cocktail onion
• cocoa of youth
• cod cape
• coffee pixie stick
• coffee sprite
• cold and sour sauce
• cold cluster
• cold clusterbomb
• cold hi mein
• cold medicine cabinet
• cold seal sweat
• cold-filtered water
• collapsible baton
• collection of tiny spooky objects
• cologne of contempt
• colorful plastic ball
• colossal free-range mushroom
• comb jelly
• combat lover's locket
• combat lover's locket lockbox
• comfy blanket
• comfy coffin
• complex alien plant sample
• complex alien zoological sample
• complex mushroom wine
• complicated device
• complicated lock impression
• compounded experience
• compressed air canister
• concentrated cooking
• concentrated cordial of concentration
• concentrated garbage juice
• concoction of clumsiness
• coney haunch
• confiscated cell phone
• confiscated comic book
• confiscated love note
• congratulatory cake
• conquistador's breastplate
• consolation ribbon
• container of Spooky Putty
• control crystal
• cookbookbat book
• cool cat claw
• cool cat elixir
• cool hot cocoa
• cool iron breastplate
• cool iron greaves
• cool iron helmet
• cool iron ingot
• cool jelly donut
• cool mint precipice bar
• cool mushroom
• cool spore pod
• cooling iron breastplate
• cooling iron greaves
• cooling iron helmet
• cop dollar
• coping juice
• cordial of concentration
• corked genie bottle
• corncob pipe
• corned beet
• corned-beef Reuben
• corroded breeches
• corrosive cowl
• corrupted data
• corrupted marrow
• corrupted stardust
• cosmetic football
• cosmic bucket
• cosmic lemonade
• cosmic paste
• cotton candy cocoon
• counterfeit city
• cozy bazooka
• cozy scarf
• cozy scimitar
• crabsicle
• cracker
• cranberry cordial
• cranberry schnapps
• crappy Mer-kin mask
• crappy Mer-kin tailpiece
• crappy brain
• crappy camera
• crate of firebombs
• crate of fish meat
• crated wardrobe-o-matic
• crayon shavings
• crazy bastard sword
• cream of chloroplasts
• creepy nursery rhyme
• creepy voodoo doll
• creepy-ass club
• crident
• crimbo elfling
• crimsilion jub-jub bird
• crowbar
• crown-shaped beanie
• crude oil congealer
• crudles
• crumbling rat skull
• crumpled felt fedora
• crunchy brush
• crushed steamer trunk
• crusty hula hoop
• cryptic puzzle box
• crystal Crimbo goblet
• crystal Crimbo platter
• crystal belt buckle
• crystal decanter
• crystal skull
• crystalline cheer
• crystalline seal eye
• crystallized memory
• crystallized pumpkin spice
• cube of ectoplasm
• cubic zirconia
• cuckoo clock
• cuddly teddy bear
• cup of "tea"
• cup of hickory chicory
• cup of infinite pencils
• cup of primitive beer
• cupcake-in-a-cup
• cuppa Activi tea
• cuppa Alacri tea
• cuppa Boo tea
• cuppa Chari tea
• cuppa Craft tea
• cuppa Cruel tea
• cuppa Dexteri tea
• cuppa Feroci tea
• cuppa Flamibili tea
• cuppa Flexibili tea
• cuppa Frost tea
• cuppa Gill tea
• cuppa Impregnabili tea
• cuppa Improprie tea
• cuppa Insani tea
• cuppa Irritabili tea
• cuppa Loyal tea
• cuppa Mana tea
• cuppa Mediocri tea
• cuppa Monstrosi tea
• cuppa Morbidi tea
• cuppa Nas tea
• cuppa Net tea
• cuppa Neuroplastici tea
• cuppa Obscuri tea
• cuppa Physicali tea
• cuppa Proprie tea
• cuppa Royal tea
• cuppa Serendipi tea
• cuppa Sobrie tea
• cuppa Toast tea
• cuppa Twen tea
• cuppa Uncertain tea
• cuppa Vitali tea
• cuppa Voraci tea
• cuppa Wit tea
• cuppa Yet tea
• cursed Aztec tamale
• cursed breeches
• cursed chocolate doubloon
• cursed cutlass
• cursed eyepatch
• cursed magnifying glass
• cursed microwave
• cursed monkey glove
• cursed monkey's paw
• cursed pirate cutlass
• cursed pony keg
• cursed ring finger ring
• cursed scrunchie
• cursed swash buckle
• cursed tricorn hat
• cursed wishbone
• custom avatar form
• cute bow from beyond the stars
• cute mushroom
• cyan seashell
• cyber-mattock
• daddy shortlegs leg
• damp bar rag
• damp old wallet
• dandy lion cub
• dangerous jerkcicle
• dark baconstone ring
• dark chocolate egg
• dark hamethyst ring
• dark porquoise ring
• das boot
• day shortener
• deactivated MicroMechaMech
• deactivated RoboGoose
• deactivated mini-Trainbot
• deactivated nanobots
• dead guy's memento
• dead guy's piece of double-sided tape
• dead lights pie
• dead meat bun
• deadly lampshade
• deadly nightshade
• deanimated reanimator's coffin
• debonair deboner
• decanter of fine Scotch
• decaying goldfish liver
• decent brain
• deck of lewd playing cards
• decomposed boot
• deed to Oliver's Place
• deep six-shooter
• defective Game Grid token
• defective Golden Mr. Accessory
• deflated inflatable dodecapede
• delectable catalyst
• delectable fire ant
• delicious candy
• delicious salad
• delicious shimmering moth
• delicious star salad
• delicious stinkbug
• delicious swamp muck
• deluxe Neverending Party favor
• deluxe fax machine
• demon buckler
• demon makeup kit
• demonic paste
• demonic surgical gloves
• demonskin jacket
• denastified haunch
• denim jacket
• dental pliers
• depantsing bomb
• depleted Crimbonium football helmet
• depleted Grimacite astrolabe
• depleted Grimacite grappling hook
• depleted Grimacite gravy boat
• depleted Grimacite ninja mask
• depleted Grimacite shinguards
• depleted Grimacite weightlifting belt
• depleted uranium seal figurine
• designer sweatpants
• designer sweatpants (new old stock)
• desktop zen garden
• detective roscoe
• detective school application
• detective tattoo
• dethklok
• detour shield
• devil hair pasta
• devil's-food cake
• devil-summoning hat
• deviled candy egg
• devilish folio
• dew yoana lei
• dew yoana salacious lei
• diabolic pizza cube
• diabolical crossbow
• diamond-studded fronts
• diamondback skin
• dice belt buckle
• dice ring
• dice sunglasses
• dice-print do-rag
• dice-print pajama pants
• dice-shaped backpack
• digital underground potion
• dilapidated wizard hat
• dinged-up triangle
• dirty bottlecap
• dirty martini
• dirty rigging rope
• discarded button
• disco biscuit
• disco horoscope (Aquarius)
• disco horoscope (Aries)
• disco horoscope (Cancer)
• disco horoscope (Capricorn)
• disco horoscope (Gemini)
• disco horoscope (Leo)
• disco horoscope (Libra)
• disco horoscope (Pisces)
• disco horoscope (Sagittarius)
• disco horoscope (Scorpio)
• disco horoscope (Taurus)
• disco horoscope (Virgo)
• discocktail
• disconnected intergnat
• disintegrating barrel
• disintegrating sheet music
• disintegrating spiky collar
• distention pill
• distilled resin
• divine blowout
• divine can of silly string
• divine champagne flute
• divine champagne popper
• divine cracker
• divine noisemaker
• diving muff
• do-it-yourself laser eye surgery kit
• dog ointment
• doll-eye amulet
• dollar sign
• dollar-sign bag
• dollop of barbecue sauce
• donated booze
• donated candy
• donated food
• doppelshifter egg
• dorky glasses
• double daisy
• double-candied yams
• doubt cannon
• drafty drawers
• dragonfish caviar
• dread tarragon
• dreadful box
• dreadful fedora
• dreadful glove
• dreadful roast
• dreadful sweater
• dreadlock whip
• dream of a dog
• dreaming Jung man
• dregs of a Crimbo cocktail
• dried gelatinous cube
• drink chit
• drinks tray
• drippy bezoar
• drippy bromide
• drippy candy bar
• drippy diadem
• drippy enzyme
• drippy flux
• drippy grub
• drippy ichor
• drippy khakis
• drippy orb
• drippy pigment
• drippy pilsner
• drippy plum(?)
• drippy salt
• drippy seed
• drippy shield
• drippy snail shell
• drippy staff
• drippy stake
• drippy stein
• droll monocle
• dromedary drinking helmet
• drone self-destruct chip
• drop of water-37
• dropped scrap of paper
• drug cocktail sauce
• druidic s'more
• drum of pomade
• dubious loincloth
• ducha de oro
• duct tape buckler
• duct tape dockers
• duct tape fedora
• duct tape shirt
• duct tape sword
• dueling banjo
• dueling turtle
• dumb mud
• dungeon dragon chest
• dungeoneering kit
• dusty barrel
• dusty bottle of blood
• dwarvish magazine
• dwarvish war helmet
• dwarvish war kilt
• dwarvish war mattock
• ear candle
• ear poison
• easter egg balloon
• eau de mort
• ectoplasm au jus
• ectoplasmic paste
• eerie fetish
• eerily silent box
• effluvious emerald
• egg gun
• eggman noodles
• eggwater
• elbow soup
• eldritch concentrate
• eldritch distillate
• eldritch elixir
• eldritch hammer
• eldritch hat
• eldritch pants
• eldritch rub
• eldritch scanner
• eldritch tincture
• eldritch tincture (depleted)
• electric Kool-Aid
• electric mushroom
• electric pants
• electrician's hardhat
• electronic Brain Trainer game
• electronic dulcimer pants
• electronics kit
• elemental paste
• eleven-foot pole
• elevenderizing hammer
• elevennis shoes
• elevent
• elf army field rations
• elf sleeper agent
• ember egg
• embering hunk
• embezzler's oil
• emergency glowstick
• emergency margarita
• emo roe
• empty Rain-Doh can
• empty agua de vida bottle
• empty blowgun
• empty hourglass
• enchanted bean burrito
• enchanted fire extinguisher
• enchanted handwarmer
• enchanted leopard-print barbell
• enchanted muesli
• enhanced signal receiver
• ennui-flavored potato chips
• enticing mayolus
• envelope full of Meat
• epic cluster
• epic wad
• eraser nubbin
• ert grey goo ring
• escargotsicle
• essential cameraderie
• essential soy
• essential tofu
• etched hourglass
• eternal knot tattoo
• even more tinsel
• everfull glass
• evil flaming eyeball pendant
• evil noodles
• evil paper umbrella
• evil teddy bear sewing kit
• exactly-three-shaped box
• exclusive club
• exclusive ultra-rare item
• executive mime flask
• exo-xo-skeleton-skeleton
• exotic orchid
• exotic travel brochure
• expensive camera
• expensive champagne
• expensive cigar
• experimental carbon fiber pasta additive
• experimental serum G-9
• experimental serum P-00
• expired MRE
• expired bottle of peppermint schnapps
• expired can of franks 'n' beans
• exploding cigar
• extra DNA
• extra ooze
• extra special Crimbo stocking
• extra time
• extra-fancy ring setting
• extra-greasy slider
• extra-grubby grub
• extra-hard jawbreaker
• extra-heavy BRICKO brick
• extra-large palm-frond toupee
• extra-potent gremlin mutagen
• extra-see-thru nightie
• extra-strength goo
• extra-strength red potion
• extra-toasted half sandwich
• extremely skinny jeans
• extremely wet T-shirt
• eye 'n' horn shampoo
• eyebrow lifter
• eyedrops of newt
• eyedrops of the ermine
• eyedrops of the ocelot
• facehugging alien
• facsimile dictionary
• fairy-worn boots
• fake cocktail
• fake washboard
• false eyelashes
• familiar scrapbook
• fancy ball mask
• fancy beef jerky
• fancy blue potion
• fancy calligraphy pen
• fancy chess set
• fancy chocolate sculpture
• fancy party pants
• fancy schmancy cheese sauce
• fancy seashell necklace
• farfalle bow tie
• fascinating alien plant sample
• fascinating alien zoological sample
• fat bottom quark
• fat wallet
• fear condenser
• feathered headdress
• festive egg sac
• festive sausage
• festive warbear bank
• fettucini épines Inconnu
• fettucini épines Inconnu recipe
• fetus-smashing club
• fez of etymology
• fiberglass fannypack
• fiberglass fedora
• fiberglass fetish
• fiberglass fibers
• fiberglass fingerguard
• fiberglass foil
• fiberglass frock
• figurine of a slippery seal
• filet of The Fish
• filigreed hamethyst earring
• filigreed hamethyst necklace
• filigreed hamethyst ring
• filth-encrusted futon
• filthy child leash
• filthy hippy poncho
• filthy lucre
• fin-bit wax
• fine aged cheddarwurst
• finger cuffs
• fire ant pheromones
• fire axe
• fire crackers
• fire hose
• fire-roasted lake trout
• fireball
• firebomb
• fireman's helmet
• fireman's lunch
• fireproof skip lid
• first-aid pouch
• fish sauce
• fish stick cozy
• fishbone belt
• fishbone bracers
• fishbone catcher's mitt
• fishbone corset
• fishbone facemask
• fishbone fins
• fishbone kneepads
• fishcake
• fishy fish lasagna
• fishy paste
• fishy pipe
• fist turkey outline
• fistful of ashes
• five-fingered fern resin
• fixed-gear bicycle
• fixodent
• flagellate flagon
• flagellate soup
• flagstone fez
• flagstone flag
• flagstone flagments
• flagstone flail
• flagstone fleece
• flagstone flip-flops
• flagstone fringe
• flame orb
• flamin' bindle
• flaming familiar doppelgänger
• flaming glowsticks
• flaming juggler's balls
• flaming leaf crown
• flaming mushroom
• flaming nose
• flaming pink shirt
• flaming sword
• flange
• flapper floppers
• flashing novelty button
• flashy pirate dreadlocks
• flask of Amontillado
• flask of Gnomochloric acid
• flask of baconstone juice
• flask of egggrog
• flask of embalming fluid
• flask of hamethyst juice
• flask of mining oil
• flask of moonshine
• flask of porquoise juice
• flat cider
• flavored foot massage oil
• fleetwood mac 'n' cheese
• fleshy lump
• fleshy putty
• flickering pixel
• flimsy hardwood scraps
• floaty inverse geode
• floaty rock
• floaty rock helmet
• floaty rock necklace
• floaty rock pants
• floaty stone sphere
• floral-print skirt
• flour cookie
• fluid of fudge-finding
• fluorescent lightbulb
• flyest of shirts
• foam commodore's hat
• foam dart
• foam naval trousers
• foetid seal tear
• folder (D-Team)
• folder (Ex-Files)
• folder (Jackass Plumber)
• folder (KOLHS)
• folder (Knight Writer)
• folder (Stinky Trash Kid)
• folder (Yedi)
• folder (barbarian)
• folder (blue)
• folder (catfish)
• folder (cyan)
• folder (dancing dolphins)
• folder (green)
• folder (heavy metal)
• folder (holographic fractal)
• folder (magenta)
• folder (owl)
• folder (rainbow unicorn)
• folder (red)
• folder (skull and crossbones)
• folder (smiley face)
• folder (space skeleton)
• folder (sports car)
• folder (sportsballs)
• folder (tranquil landscape)
• folder (wizard)
• folder (yellow)
• food drive button
• food mailing list
• foon
• foot-long hot daub
• forbidden danish
• forbidden sausage
• foreign box
• forest canopy bed
• forest spirit rattle
• fortifying hot cocoa
• fossilized baboon skull
• fossilized bat skull
• fossilized demon skull
• fossilized limb
• fossilized necklace
• fossilized serpent skull
• fossilized spider skull
• fossilized spike
• fossilized spine
• fossilized torso
• fossilized wing
• fossilized wyrm skull
• fountain 'soda'
• four-leaf potato sprout
• fragile Christmas ornament
• fragment of Jarlsberg's soul
• frankincenser
• frayed rope belt
• free boots
• free-range mushroom
• freezer-burned frost-bitten tortellini
• freezin' bindle
• freightcake
• french-fry grabber
• fresh can of paint
• fresh coat of paint
• freshwater fishbone
• fried air
• friendly cheez blob
• frigid air mattress
• frigid derringer
• frigid mote
• frilly shirt
• frontwinder skin
• frost flower
• frost-rimed desk bell
• frosty halo
• frozen banquet
• frozen danish
• frozen mushroom
• frozen shampoo-conditioner
• frozen tofu pop
• frozen turtle shell
• fruit basket
• fruit bat
• fruit-stuffed rumcake
• fruity girl swill
• fruity pebble
• frying brainpan
• fudge cube
• fudgecycle
• fumble formula
• funhouse mirror
• funky brass fez
• funky eyepatch
• funny paper hat
• furniture dolly
• furry green earmuffs
• furry green turtle
• furry halo
• furry kilt
• furry pants
• furry skirt
• fusilli marrownarrow
• fusillocybin
• future drug: Coolscaline
• future drug: Muscularactum
• future drug: Smartinex
• fuzzbump
• fuzzy bracelets
• fuzzy earmuffs
• fuzzy montera
• gabardine gaiters
• gabardine garibaldi
• gabardine garland
• gabardine girdle
• gabardine gloves
• gabardine gunnysack
• gabardine smithereens
• gaffer's tape
• gamer slurry
• ganger bandana
• garbage juice slurpee
• garbage sticker
• gas can
• gasmask
• gator shades
• gator skin
• gatorskin umbrella
• gattoo
• gazely stare
• gazing shoes
• gearbox necklace
• generic healing potion
• generic mana potion
• generic restorative potion
• genie bottle
• genie's bracers
• genie's pants
• genie's scimitar
• genie's turbane
• ghast iron Garibaldi
• ghast iron codpiece
• ghast iron heater shield
• ghost accordion
• ghost beer
• ghost pencil
• ghost pepper
• ghost protocol
• ghost shawl
• ghost thread
• ghost trap
• ghostly body paint
• ghostly dagger
• giant O
• giant X
• giant book of ancient carols
• giant diamond ring
• giant discarded plastic fork
• giant discarded torn-up glove
• giant driftwood sculpture
• giant free-range mushroom
• giant shrimp fork
• giant stuffed bugbear
• giant yellow hat
• gift card
• gift-a-pult
• gilded BRICKO brick
• gilded BRICKO chalice
• gilded lily
• gill rings
• ginger beer
• gingerbeard
• gingerbread cigarette
• gingerbread dog treat
• gingerbread gavel
• gingerbread hoodie
• gingerbread mask
• gingerbread moneybag
• gingerbread mug
• gingerbread nylons
• gingerbread pirate
• gingerbread pistol
• gingerbread restraining order
• gingerbread smartphone
• gingerbread spice latte
• gingerbread tophat
• gingerbread trousers
• gingerbread waistcoat
• gingerbread wine
• gingernade
• gingerservo
• ginseng
• giraffe-necked turtle
• glacial clock
• glacial sapphire
• gladiator tunica
• glass eye
• glass gnoll eye
• glass of "milk"
• glass of herbal tequila
• glass of raw eggs
• glass slipper
• glimmering buzzard feather
• glimmering great tit feather
• glimmering penguin feather
• glimmering phoenix feather
• glimmering raven feather
• glimmering roc feather
• glob of extra-green chlorophyll
• glob of melted wax
• glob of undifferentiated tissue
• globe of Deep Sauce
• gloomy black mushroom
• gloomy mushroom wine
• glow-in-the-dark necklace
• glowing El Vibrato drone
• glowing esca
• glowing frisbee
• glowing spore pod
• glowing syringe
• glyph of athleticism
• gnat lasagna
• gnauga hide
• gnauga hide buckler
• gnauga hide chaps
• gnauga hide kilt
• gnauga hide skirt
• gnauga hide vest
• gnauga hide whip
• go-go potion
• goblin autoblowgun
• goblin bone hilt
• goblin collarbone
• goblin hunting spear
• goblin paste
• goblin water
• gold crown
• gold nuggets
• gold skull ring
• gold star
• gold tooth
• gold wedding ring
• golden banana
• golden fleece
• golden gum
• golden gun
• golden monkey statuette
• golden pet rock
• golden plastic oyster egg
• golden sausage
• golden tattoo gun
• golden twig
• goo magnet
• good ash
• good brain
• good gravy
• goodberry
• gooey drippy candy bar
• gooey paste
• googly chest eyes
• googly-ball hat
• googly-heart hat
• googly-star hat
• gooified animal matter
• gooified mineral matter
• gooified vegetable matter
• gory drippy orb
• gourmet gourami oil
• government booze shipment
• government candy shipment
• government food shipment
• government per-diem
• government requisition form
• government-issued candy
• government-issued eyeshade
• government-issued necktie
• government-issued slacks
• governor's daughter's lace collar
• governor's daughter's pearl hairpin
• governor's daughter's petticoats
• grandfather watch
• grape troll doll
• grass clippings
• graveyard snowglobe
• gravy skin
• gravyskin buckler
• gravyskin hat
• gravyskin pants
• gravyskin skirt
• gray seashell
• grease cannon
• greasy desk bell
• great big capacitor
• greedy ghostling
• green candygram
• green cloth cap
• green eggnog
• green face paint
• green glowstick
• green hamhock
• green lava globs
• green mana
• green peawee marble
• green pill
• green pixie spog
• green rock candy
• green seashell
• green slime glob
• green traffic cone
• green-frosted astral cupcake
• green-iced sweet roll
• gregarious ghostling
• grey cube
• grey down vest
• grey gosling
• grim fairy tale
• grimstone galoshes
• grimstone mask
• grimy lab coat
• grinning ghostling
• grinning turtle
• grip key
• grisly shell fragment
• grisly shield
• grizzled bearskin
• grody jug
• grog nuts
• groggipop
• groggles
• grogpagne
• grogtini
• groose grease
• groovy prism necklace
• groping claw
• grouper fangirl
• groupie bra
• groupie lipstick
• groupie spangles
• groveling gravel
• grubby wool
• grubby wool beerwarmer
• grubby wool gloves
• grubby wool hat
• grubby wool scarf
• grubby wool trousers
• grubby woolball
• grue egg omelette
• guancertina
• guard turtle collar
• guard turtle shell
• guffin
• guild application
• guilty sprout
• gummi ammonite
• gummi belemnite
• gummi fang
• gummi sword
• gummi trilobite
• gummi turtle
• gumshoes
• gun cleaning kit
• gunpowder burrito
• gunwale
• gunwale whalegun
• guts necklace
• gym shorts
• hacked gibson
• haemolymphnode
• haiku katana
• hair of the calf
• hair of the fish
• hair oil
• hairshirt
• half-digested rat
• half-empty carton of milk
• half-height cigar
• half-height unicycle
• half-orchid
• halibut
• hamburger
• hamethyst earring
• hamethyst necklace
• hamethyst ring
• hamlet sandwich
• hammerus
• hand grenegg
• hand of Mr. Cards
• hand of cards
• hand turkey outline
• hand-carved bokken
• hand-carved bow
• hand-carved staff
• hand-crafted candy cane
• hand-knitted Crimbo socks
• hand-knitted diving booties
• handful of Boltsmann bearings
• handful of bees
• handful of crafty noodles
• handful of honey
• handful of juicy garbage
• handful of numbers
• handful of split pea soup
• handful of toilet paper
• handyman "hand soap"
• hangman's hood
• hard cocoa
• hard rock
• hard spore pod
• hardboiled egg
• hardened slime belt
• hardened slime hat
• hardened slime pants
• hardening cream
• hardware upgrade
• hare brush
• hare pin
• harpoon
• haunted bindle
• haunted doghouse
• haunted flame
• haunted gimlet
• hawk
• hawkface potion
• hazardous sauce dosimeter
• hazmat helmet
• head of emberg lettuce
• head-mounted Trainbot
• headless sparrow
• heart of dark chocolate
• heart of the volcano
• heart-shaped balloon
• heart-shaped crate
• heavy crown
• heavy leather-bound tome
• heavy necklace chain
• heavy-duty Crimbot aerial
• heavy-duty clipboard
• hedgeturtle
• hellseal claw
• hemlock helm
• hemp backpack
• hemp net
• hep waders
• hermit factoid
• heteroerotic frat-paddle
• hewn moon-rune spoon
• hi-density nylocite leg armor
• hi-octane carrot juice
• hibernating Grimstone Golem
• hibernating robot reindeer
• hibiscus petal
• hideous egg
• high-end ginger wine
• high-pressure seltzer bottle
• high-speed upgrade
• hippo skin buckler
• hippo tutu
• hippopotamus kilt
• hippopotamus pants
• hippopotamus skirt
• hipposkin poncho
• hippy paste
• hipster cocktail
• hoarded candy wad
• hobo code binder
• hobo dungarees
• hobo fortress blueprints
• hobo monkey
• hobo nickel
• hobo paste
• hobo stogie
• hockey stick of furious angry rage
• holiday cheese log
• holiday log
• holiday smorgasbord
• holiday trip around the world
• holy bomb, batman
• homeless hobo spirit
• homemade robot gear
• homeopathic healing powder
• homeopathic mint tea
• honey bun of Boris
• honey dipper
• honey mead
• honey-dew
• honey-drenched ham slice
• honeybritches
• honeycap
• honeypot
• hopeful candle
• hopping socks
• horizontal tango
• hot Dreadsylvanian cocoa
• hot and sour sauce
• hot cluster
• hot clusterbomb
• hot cocoa au beurre
• hot cocoa with rainbow marshmallows
• hot daub
• hot daub bun
• hot daub stand
• hot egg
• hot hi mein
• hot mint schnocolate
• hot pink lipstick
• hot spore pod
• hot stuffing
• hot wine
• hothammer
• hourglass
• house of twigs and spit
• housekeeping automa-core
• huge Crimbo cookie
• huge gold coin
• huge mint leaf
• huge mosquito proboscis
• human musk
• humble pie
• humming El Vibrato drone
• hungover chauvinist pig
• hustler shades
• hypnodisk
• iFlail
• iShield
• ice baby
• ice cream sandwich
• ice harvest
• ice hotel bell
• ice house
• ice pick
• ice rice
• ice sickle
• ice skate decoy
• ice skate doll
• ice skates
• ice stein
• ice wine
• ice-cold Cloaca Zero
• iceberg lettuce
• iceberglet
• iced plum wine
• iced-out bling
• icicle katana
• igloo pie
• illegal firecracker
• illicit fish sauce
• imitation crab crate
• imitation crab meat
• imitation crab zoea
• imitation whetstone
• immense ballet shoes
• immense free-range mushroom
• imported taffy
• improved martini
• in-the-box spring shoes
• incense bath ball
• incredibly dense meat gem
• indescribably horrible paste
• indie comic hipster glasses
• industrial fire extinguisher
• industrial frosting
• industrial lubricant
• industrial strength anti-fungal spray
• industrially-crushed ice
• inert sludgepuppy
• infant sandworm
• infernal snowball
• infinite BACON machine
• inflammable leaf
• inflatable LT&T telegraph office
• inflatable baseball bat
• infrablack lipstick
• ingot turtle
• initiative shawarma
• ink bladder
• inky squid sauce
• insulting hat
• intact medium-wave antenna
• interesting clod of dirt
• interesting-looking twig
• intergalactic pom poms
• interrogative elixir
• intimidating coiffure
• intricate clockwork big hand
• intricate clockwork birdhouse
• intricate clockwork cuckoo
• intricate clockwork disc
• intricate clockwork egg
• intricate clockwork little hand
• intricate clockwork numeral I
• intricate clockwork numeral II
• intricate clockwork numeral III
• intricate clockwork numeral IV
• intricate clockwork numeral IX
• intricate clockwork numeral V
• intricate clockwork numeral VI
• intricate clockwork numeral VII
• intricate clockwork numeral VIII
• intricate clockwork numeral X
• intricate clockwork numeral XI
• intricate clockwork numeral XII
• intricate music box parts
• intriguing puzzle box
• invisibility cream
• invisibility potion
• invisible potion
• iron chain
• iron dagger
• iron helmet
• iron torso box
• ironic battle spoon
• ironic jogging shorts
• ironic knit cap
• ironic moustache
• ironic oversized sunglasses
• irradiated turtle
• irresistibility potion
• irritability potion
• isotophat
• ittah bittah hookah
• ivory cue ball
• jagged tooth
• jalapeño slices
• jam band
• jam band bootleg
• jamfish jam
• jangly bracelet
• jangly spurs
• janitor sponge
• janitor's mop
• jar full of wind
• jar of anniversary jam
• jar of fermented pickle juice
• jar of frostigkraut
• jar of magical relish
• jar of squeeze
• jar of swamp gas
• jar of swamp honey
• jazzy cigarette holder
• jellyfish gel
• jet bennie marble
• jewel-eyed wizard hat
• jewelry-making pliers
• jigsaw blade
• jingle bell
• jingling spore pod
• jitterbug larva
• jive turkey leg
• jolly roger tattoo kit
• jug of "wine"
• jug of Gnomochloric acid
• jug of Sneaky Pete's Mojo
• jug of baconstone juice
• jug of booze
• jug of hamethyst juice
• jug of porquoise juice
• juggling ball
• jumping horseradish
• junk food
• karma shawarma
• kelp
• kelp-holly drape
• kelp-holly gun
• kerosene-soaked skip
• kevlateflocite helmet
• khaki duffel bag
• kickback cookbook
• kill screen
• kilopede skull
• kitten burglar
• kitty sheet music
• kiwi
• kiwi beak
• knobby helmet turtle
• knobby kneepads
• kobold treasure hoard
• kumquartz ring
• kumquat
• lab-grown meat
• labrador cookie
• ladle of mystery
• large pile of sand
• large stone triangle
• large tankard of ale
• laser cannon
• laser targeting chip
• latte lovers club card
• latte lovers member's mug
• lava balaclava
• lavender candygram
• law-abiding citizen cane
• lawn dart
• lawnmower blade
• lead collar
• lead umbrella
• leafy browns
• leather aviator's cap
• leather bookmark
• leechknife
• left bear arm
• left half of a heart necklace
• left-handed melodica
• leftover Crimbo rations
• leftover canapés
• leftover pasty
• leg-mounted Trainbots
• leggings of the Spider Queen
• legitimate business on the beach
• lemonade marble
• lemonhead caviar
• lemony scales
• length of old fuse
• lesser grodulated violet
• letterman's jacket
• lewd playing card
• li'l ghost costume
• li'l knight costume
• li'l orphan tot
• liar's pants
• libation of liveliness
• libertagliatelle
• library card
• licorice boa
• licorice snake
• limburger biker boots
• limp broccoli
• linguini immondizia bianco
• linguini of the sea
• linoleum crossbow string
• linoleum helmet turtle
• linoleum stick
• linoleum sword hilt
• lip soup
• liquid ice
• liquid ice pack
• liquid rhinestones
• liquid shifting time weirdness
• liquid smoke
• lit leaf lasso
• little box of fireworks
• little deuce cape
• little firkin
• little parachute guy
• little red book
• little round pebble
• little wooden mannequin
• live nautical mine
• liver and let pie
• livid energy
• llama lama cria
• llama lama gong
• loaded serum blowgun
• loathing eagle baby-doll shirt
• locked mumming trunk
• lodestone
• logging hatchet
• long pork lasagna
• long-forgotten necklace
• long-stemmed rose
• longbox of Batfellow comics
• loofah ladle
• loofah lavalier
• loofah lederhosen
• loofah legwarmers
• loofah lei
• loofah lumberjack's hat
• loofah lumps
• loose blade
• los chinos
• lost elf luggage
• lotion of coldness
• lotion of hotness
• lotion of sleaziness
• lotion of spookiness
• lotion of stench
• love
• love song of disturbing obsession
• love song of icy revenge
• love song of naughty innuendo
• love song of smoldering passion
• love song of sugary cuteness
• love song of vague ambiguity
• lucky Tam O'Shanter
• lucky Tam O'Shatner
• lucky army helmet
• lucky bottlecap
• lucky cat collar
• lucky cat's paw
• lucky gold ring
• lucky lighter
• lucky moai statuette
• lucky napkin
• lump of bauxite
• lump of clay
• lump of coal
• lump of not really wriggling eldritch matter
• lupine appetite hormones
• lustrous drippy orb
• luxury fly-tying workbench
• lychee chuhai
• lynyrdskin breeches
• lynyrdskin cap
• lynyrdskin tunic
• macaroni duck
• machetito
• machine elf capsule
• madius
• mafia organizer badge
• mafia pointer finger ring
• mafia wedding ring
• magenta seashell
• magic dragonfish fry
• magical battery
• magical mystery juice
• magical pony: Dusk Shiny
• magical pony: Pearjack
• magical pony: Rosey Cake
• magical pony: Shutterfly
• magical pony: Spectrum Dash
• magical pony: Uniquity
• magical sausage
• magical sausage casing
• magnetic field
• magnolia blossom
• magnum of fancy champagne
• makeshift castanets
• malevolent medallion
• mama's squeezebox
• mana-basted tofurkey leg
• mana-coated yams
• mana-fortified cranberry sauce
• mana-stuffed herbal stuffing
• mandarina colada
• mangled squirrel
• manly bloomers
• mantis skull
• map to Anemone Mine
• map to Dolph Bossin's hideout
• map to Madness Reef
• map to a candy-rich block
• map to the Cursed Village
• map to the Dive Bar
• map to the Marinara Trench
• map to the Mystic Wood
• map to the Putrid Swamp
• map to the Skate Park
• map to the Sprawling Cemetery
• map to the Towering Mountains
• marble maebari
• marble magnet
• marble mantle
• marble mariachi hat
• marble medallion
• marble mignonette bowl
• marble molecules
• mariachi pants
• mariachi toothpaste
• marinara jug
• marine aquamarine
• marshmallow flambé
• martiny
• massive gemstone
• massive sitar
• massive wrench
• mayfly bait necklace
• mayo pump
• meat shield
• meat st‰¿bing club
• meatball
• meatball machine
• meaty helmet turtle
• mechanically-mulled cider
• medium slimy cyst
• medium stone triangle
• melon-infused sake
• melty plastic grenade
• memory of a C
• memory of a CA base pair
• memory of a CG base pair
• memory of a CT base pair
• memory of a G
• memory of a GT base pair
• memory of a T
• memory of an A
• memory of an AG base pair
• memory of an AT base pair
• memory of some delicious amino acids
• menorette
• menudo ravioli
• mercenary headband
• mercenary pistol
• mercenary rifle
• mermaid's purse
• mesquito proboscis
• messenger bag RNA
• metal band T-shirt
• metal mandible
• metallic foil bow
• metallic foil cat ears
• metallic foil radar dish
• metandienone
• meteor shower cap
• meteorite earring
• meteorite fragment
• meteorite necklace
• meteorite ring
• metrognome
• micronova
• microwave stogie
• mid-level medieval mead
• midget clownfish
• milestone
• military candy cane
• military orb
• military-grade peppermint oil
• milk of magnesium
• mime army camouflage kit
• mime army challenge coin
• mime army infiltration glove
• mime army insignia (cryonics)
• mime army insignia (espionage)
• mime army insignia (infantry)
• mime army insignia (intelligence)
• mime army insignia (morale)
• mime army insignia (psychological warfare)
• mime army insignia (pyrotechnics)
• mime army insignia (sanitation)
• mime army rations
• mime army shotglass
• mime army superserum
• mime army wine
• mime pocket probe
• mime-proof sunglasses
• miming beret
• miming boots
• miming corduroys
• miming gloves
• miming shirt
• mini kiwi
• mini kiwi aioli
• mini kiwi antimilitaristic hippy petition
• mini kiwi bikini
• mini kiwi digitized cookies
• mini kiwi egg
• mini kiwi icepick
• mini kiwi illicit antibiotic
• mini kiwi intoxicating spirits
• mini kiwi invisible dirigible
• mini kiwi silicon tiepin
• mini kiwi tipi
• mini kiwi whipping stick
• mini kiwi-flavored aspirin-injecting lipstick
• mini kiwitini
• mini-zeppelin
• miniature Embering Hulk
• miniature Jacob's ladder
• miniature carton of clove cigarettes
• miniature castagnets
• miniature coffin
• miniature crystal ball
• miniature deck cannon
• miniature dormouse
• miniature espresso maker
• miniature gravy-covered maypole
• miniature pruning shears
• miniature stuffed Goth Giant
• miniature tophat
• miniscule beatbox
• miniscule temporal rip
• mint condition Lil' Doctor™ bag
• mint condition magnifying glass
• mint-condition magic wand
• mint-in-box Powerful Glove
• mirrored aviator shades
• misfit dolly
• misfit hobby horse
• misfit teddy bear
• missing semicolon
• missing wine
• moai toai
• moaiball
• mocking turtle
• model train set
• modern picture frame
• moist barrel
• moist sack
• moist sailor's cap
• mole molé
• mole skin notebook
• molehill mountain
• molten brick
• molten medallion
• monkey barf
• monstrous monocle
• moon-amber
• moon-amber necklace
• moonberry wine cooler
• moss floss
• moss mace
• moss mantle
• moss marlinspike
• moss medal
• moss megaphone
• moss mitre
• moss mulch
• mostly rat-hide leggings
• mostly-empty bottle of cookie wine
• mother's necklace
• motivational poster
• mouldering barrel
• mountain lion skin
• mourning wine
• mouth-watering mayolus
• moveable feast
• muddy pirate hat
• muddy skirt
• mulled blood
• mulled hobo wine
• mulled wine
• mummified entombed cookbookbat
• mumming trunk
• murderbot memory chip
• muscular soup
• mushroom slab
• musk turtle
• musty moccasins
• mutant arm
• mutant cactus bud
• mutant crown
• mutant fire ant egg
• mutant gila monster egg
• mutant legs
• mutant rattlesnake egg
• mutated candy lump
• myrrh pouch
• myrrh-soaked, chocolate-covered bacon bath ball
• mysterious chemical residue
• mysterious chest
• nachos of the night
• name change form
• nanorhino credit card
• nasty desk bell
• nasty rat mask
• nasty snuff
• nastygeist
• nativity shorts
• natty blue ascot
• natural magick candle
• naughty fortune teller
• naughty origami kit
• naughty paper shuriken
• nauseating reagent
• navel ring of navel gazing
• ncle leg
• neck wreath
• necklace chain
• necrotizing body spray
• neoprene skullcap
• nervous tick egg
• neverending wallet chain
• new habit
• newborn kobold
• newly-hatched mayonnaise wasp
• nice warm beer
• nicksilver ring
• nicksilver spurs
• ninja pirate zombie robot
• ninja pirate zombie robot head
• ninjammies
• noir fedora
• non-Euclidean angle
• non-Euclidean non-accordion
• non-aged vinegar
• normal barrel
• norwhal helmet
• nosy nose ringy ring
• not-a-pipe
• note from Clancy
• noticeable pumps
• novelty monorail ticket
• noxious gas grenade
• nozzle of the Phoenix
• nugget of nicksilver
• nugget of quicksilver
• nugget of sicksilver
• nugget of slicksilver
• nugget of sodium
• nugget of thicksilver
• nugget of ticksilver
• nugget of wicksilver
• numberwang
• nurse's hat
• nutcracking pliers
• nylon Christmas stockings
• obnoxious riddle
• obsidian dagger
• occult jelly donut
• ocean motion
• octolus oculus
• octolus-skin cloak
• odd silver coin
• odor extractor
• off-hand balloon
• offensive moustache
• officer's nog
• oil of expertise
• oil of oiliness
• oil of slipperiness
• oil of stability
• oil shell
• oil-filled donut
• oily golden mushroom
• oily mushroom wine
• oily paste
• ointment of the occult
• old ball and chain
• old chum
• old dry bone
• old patched suit-pants
• old school Mafia knicke½æ
• old school Mafia knickerbockers
• old school flying disc
• old soft shoes
• old-fashioned Crimbo Pressie
• old-school pirate grog
• olive lo mein
• one glove
• one million meat pancakes
• one-day ticket to Conspiracy Island
• one-day ticket to Dinseylandfill
• one-day ticket to Spring Break Beach
• one-day ticket to That 70s Volcano
• one-day ticket to The Glaciest
• onyx bishop
• onyx king
• onyx knight
• onyx pawn
• onyx queen
• onyx rook
• optimal spreadsheet
• orange boxing gloves
• orange candygram
• orange glowstick
• orange slime glob
• orange traffic cone
• orc paste
• organ grinder
• organic potpourri
• origami "gentlemen's" magazine
• origami pasties
• origami riding crop
• oriole-feather headdress
• ornamental sextant
• orphan baby yeti
• out-of-work circus flea
• outlaw bandana
• outrageous sombrero
• over-the-shoulder Folder Holder
• overcharged El Vibrato power sphere
• overclocked avian microprocessor
• overflowing gift basket
• overloaded Yule battery
• overly-fancy hot cocoa
• overpowering mushroom wine
• oversized ice molecule
• oversized snowflake
• ovoid leather thing
• oxygenated eggnog helmet
• oyster egg balloon
• oyster sauce
• pacification grenade
• packaged Daylight Shavings Helmet
• packaged Everfull Dart Holster
• packaged June cleaver
• packaged Jurassic Parka
• packaged Pocket Professor
• packaged Roman Candelabra
• packaged SpinMaster™ lathe
• packaged cold medicine cabinet
• packaged industrial fire extinguisher
• packaged knock-off retro superhero cape
• packaged luxury garment
• packaged miniature crystal ball
• packaged model train set
• packet of beer nuts
• packet of beer seeds
• packet of dragon's teeth
• packet of mayfly bait
• packet of mushroom spores
• packet of orchid seeds
• packet of pumpkin seeds
• packet of rock seeds
• packet of tall grass seeds
• packet of thanksgarden seeds
• packet of winter seeds
• padded tortoise
• paint palette
• painted shield
• painted turtle
• pair of candy glasses
• pair of pearidot earrings
• pair of plants
• pair of scissors
• palm-frond capris
• palm-frond whip
• panhandle panhandling hat
• panicked kernel
• pantogram
• panty raider camouflage
• papotion of papower
• paraffin palazzos
• paraffin pendant
• paraffin pieces
• paraffin pith helmet
• paraffin poncho
• paraffin pseudoaccordion
• paraffin punching bag
• paranormal ricotta
• party balloon
• party beer bomb
• party crasher
• party mouse hat
• party platter for one
• party pup
• party whip
• passed-out psychedelic bear
• patch of extra-warm fur
• patent aggression tonic
• patent alacrity tonic
• patent antipsychotics
• patent avarice tonic
• patent invisibility tonic
• patent preventative tonic
• patent sallowness tonic
• pea brittle
• peace accordion
• peace shooter
• peace turkey outline
• peach
• peach lozenge
• peanut sauce
• pear
• pear lozenge
• pearl diver's necklace
• pearl diver's ring
• peasco sour
• peaza
• pebble of proud pyrite
• pegfinger
• pencil kunai
• penguin paste
• penguin shorts
• penguin skin buckler
• penguin-smacking club
• penguinskin mini-kilt
• penguinskin mini-skirt
• pentagram bandana
• pentatonic accordion
• peppermint bomb
• peppermint donut
• peppermint harpoon gun
• peppermint pegleg
• peppermint spine
• peppermint syrup
• peppermint tack
• peppermint-scented socks
• perfect Christmas scarf
• perfectly fair coin
• perfectly ordinary frog
• perfume of prejudice
• perfume-soaked bandana
• pernicious cudgel
• personal massager
• personal raindrop
• personalized birthday cake
• personalized coffee mug
• personalized wassail stein
• pet anchor
• pet anemone
• pet bad vibe
• petrified time
• pewter candlestick
• pewter shavings
• ph balancer
• phase-tuned shield generator belt
• phial of coldness
• phial of hotness
• phial of sleaziness
• phial of spookiness
• phial of stench
• philter of phorce
• phish stick
• photo booth sized crate
• pickelhaube
• pickled bread
• picky tweezers
• picture of a dead guy's girlfriend
• piece of cake
• piece of driftwood
• piercing post
• pig-iron bracers
• pig-iron helm
• pig-iron shinguards
• pile of Trainbot parts
• pile of dungeon junk
• pile of gold coins
• pile of gritty sand
• pile of loose snow
• pile of smoking rags
• pilgrim shield
• pillow shell
• pine cone
• pine cone necklace
• pine tar
• pineapple slab
• ping-pong ball
• ping-pong paddle
• pink candygram
• pink glowstick
• pink pinkslip slip
• pink plastic baby
• pink-belly slapper
• pink-frosted astral cupcake
• pint of sweat
• pipe wrench
• piping organ pie
• piracetam
• pirate encryption key (complete)
• pirate encryption key alpha
• pirate encryption key bravo
• pirate encryption key charlie
• pirate encryption key delta
• pirate fork
• pirate hook
• pirate pantaloons
• pirate paste
• pirate radio ring
• pirate shaving cream
• pirate zombie head
• pirate zombie robot head
• piratical blunderbuss
• pirrrate's currrse
• pixel bread
• pixel chain whip
• pixel cross
• pixel holy water
• pixel morning star
• pixel orb
• pixel power cell
• pixel rock
• pixel stopwatch
• pixel whip
• pixel whiskey
• pixellated moneybag
• plain calzone
• plain candy cane
• plain paper hat
• plans for depleted Grimacite astrolabe
• plans for depleted Grimacite grappling hook
• plans for depleted Grimacite gravy boat
• plans for depleted Grimacite hammer
• plans for depleted Grimacite ninja mask
• plans for depleted Grimacite shinguards
• plans for depleted Grimacite weightlifting belt
• plastic bib
• plastic cup of beer
• plastic cup of flat beer
• plastic doll arms
• plastic doll legs
• plastic nightmare troll
• plastic nunchaku
• plastic pirate hat
• plastic pumpkin bucket
• plastic spider ring
• plastic vampire fangs
• plate of Frigid Northern Beans
• plate of Hellfire Spicy Beans
• plate of Pork 'n' Pork 'n' Pork 'n' Beans
• plate of Shrub's Premium Baked Beans
• plate of Trader Olaf's Exotic Stinkbeans
• plate of Val-U Brand Every Bean Salad
• plate of World's Blackest-Eyed Peas
• plexifoam chin strap
• plexiglass pants
• plexiglass pendant
• plexiglass pikestaff
• plexiglass pinky ring
• plexiglass pith helmet
• plexiglass pocketwatch
• plum lozenge
• plumber's lunch
• plump free-range mushroom
• plump juicy grub
• plunge-leg
• plush sea serpent
• pocket ace
• pocket maze
• pocket wish
• pogo stick
• pointy red hat
• poisonous caviar
• poisonsettia
• polished moon-amber
• polka-dot bow tie
• polo trophy
• polyester pad
• polyester panama hat
• polyester parachute
• polyester peeler
• polyester pettipants
• polyester pulsera
• polyesterene powder
• polymorphic fastening apparatus
• pompadour'd puppy
• poncho de azucar
• ponytail clip
• poodle skirt
• pool of liquid metal
• pool shark hair oil
• porcelain pelerine
• porcelain pepper mill
• porcelain phantom mask
• porcelain plus-fours
• porcelain police baton
• porcelain porkpie
• porcelain powder
• porquoise bracelet
• porquoise eyebrow ring
• porquoise necklace
• porquoise ring
• portable Mayo Clinic
• portable Othello set
• portable Spacegate
• portable cassette player
• portable corkscrew
• portable housekeeping robot
• portable motorcycle
• portable pantogram
• portable ping-pong table
• portable steam unit
• portable table
• portable wall
• possessed sugar cube
• possessed tomato
• potato alarm clock
• potato jacket
• potent potion of potency
• potion of X-ray vision
• potion of animal rage
• potion of potency
• potion of punctual companionship
• potion of temporary gr8ness
• potion of the captain's hammer
• potion of the field gar
• potion of the litterbox
• potted tea tree
• pottery barn owl figurine
• pottery club
• pottery hat
• pottery shield
• pottery training pants
• pottery yo-yo
• powdered dice
• powdered gold
• powdered madness
• powdered oxygen
• powdered toad horn
• power pill
• pr0n m4nic0tti
• prank Crimbo card
• praying Grim Brother
• precision snowball
• pregnant gloomy black mushroom
• pregnant oily golden mushroom
• prescription noodles
• present
• press-on ribs
• pressurized potion of perception
• pressurized potion of perspicacity
• pressurized potion of pneumaticity
• pressurized potion of possessiveness
• pressurized potion of proficiency
• pressurized potion of puissance
• pressurized potion of pulchritude
• priceless diamond
• primitive alien blowgun
• primitive alien booze
• primitive alien loincloth
• primitive alien mask
• primitive alien medicine
• primitive alien necklace
• primitive alien spear
• primitive alien totem
• pristine fish scale
• pro skateboard
• profane eye patch
• programmable turtle
• prohie's hat
• projectile chemistry set
• propeller beanie
• protein paste
• proto-proto-protozoa
• protogenetic chunklet (elbow)
• protogenetic chunklet (flagellum)
• protogenetic chunklet (lips)
• protogenetic chunklet (muscle)
• protogenetic chunklet (synapse)
• protonic accelerator pack
• prototype stimulant
• prussian cathouse
• psychedelic bubble wand
• psychic's amulet
• psychic's circlet
• psychic's crystal ball
• psychic's pslacks
• psychoanalytic jar
• psychokinetic energy blob
• pteruges
• pufferfish spine
• pulled porquoise earring
• pulled porquoise pendant
• pulled porquoise ring
• pump-up high-tops
• pumpkin spice whorl
• punch-drunk punch
• punching mirror
• puppet strings
• purple glowstick
• purple prose pen
• purple-frosted astral cupcake
• purpleheart "pants"
• purpleheart logs
• putty coat
• puzzling ribbon
• puzzling trophy
• pygmy bugbear shaman
• pygmy concertinette
• quadroculars
• quake of arrows
• quantized familiar
• quantized familiar experience
• quantum disintegrator pistol
• quantum nanopolymer spider web
• quantum of familiar
• quantum taco
• quantum watch
• quasi-ethereal macaroni fragments
• question juice
• quicksilver ring
• quicksilver spurs
• quirky accordion
• rack of dinosaur ribs
• radiator heater shield
• radio button candy
• radioactive chew toy
• radioactive spider venom
• radium-flavored potato chips
• raffle prize box
• raffle ticket
• ragged wool yarn
• rainbow glitter candle
• rainbow pearl
• rainbow pearl earring
• rainbow pearl necklace
• rainbow pearl ring
• rainbow sauce
• rainbow tie
• raisin
• ramekin of space nuts
• rare oboe
• rat carcass
• rat head balloon
• ratarang
• ratatouille de Jarlsberg
• ratini
• ratskin belt
• ratskin pajama pants
• rattlesnake enrager
• ratty knitted cap
• ravenous eye
• real cowboy hat
• really dense meat stack
• really nice lump of coal
• really nice net
• really tiny cocktail shaker
• record of infuriating silence
• record of infuriating silence (used)
• record of menacing silence
• record of menacing silence (used)
• record of tranquil silence
• record of tranquil silence (used)
• recording of Benetton's Medley of Diversity
• recording of Chorale of Companionship
• recording of Donho's Bubbly Ballad
• recording of Elron's Explosive Etude
• recording of Inigo's Incantation of Inspiration
• recording of Prelude of Precision
• recording of The Ballad of Richie Thingfinder
• recovered cufflinks
• red China marble
• red and green rain stick
• red and white claret
• red armband
• red badge
• red balloon
• red class ring
• red coin
• red face paint
• red lava globs
• red mana
• red money bag
• red plastic baby
• red plumber's boots
• red potion
• red rocket
• red traffic cone
• red tulip
• red wagon
• red white and blue claret
• red-and-green microcamera
• red-hot jawbreaker
• red-hot knucklebone
• red-hot medallion
• red-hot sausage fork
• red-soled high heels
• red-spotted snapper roe
• redwood rain stick
• refrigerated biohazard container
• refurbished air fryer
• regret hose
• regular-size brogurt
• rehearsing dramatic hedgehog
• reindeer sickle
• reinforced furry underpants
• reliable sixgun
• remorseless knife
• repaid diaper
• repaired El Vibrato drone
• replica Elf Guard medal
• replica Ten Dollars
• replica bat-oomerang
• replica key
• research fragment
• residual chitin paste
• respected companion biscuit
• rhesus monkey
• rhinestone
• rhinestone cowhorn
• rib of the Bonerdagon
• ribbon candy ascot
• ribcage rollcage
• riboflavin
• rickety old unicycle
• ridiculous belt
• ridiculous cocktail
• ridiculous earring
• ridiculous sandwich
• ridiculous sunglasses
• rigging knot
• right bear arm
• right half of a heart necklace
• ring
• ring of Detect Boring Doors
• ring of the Skeleton Lord
• ring setting
• roasted duck
• roasted vegetable focaccia
• roasted vegetable of Jarlsberg
• robot reindeer protocol B.L.I.T.Z.E.N.
• robot reindeer protocol C.O.M.E.T.
• robot reindeer protocol C.U.P.I.D.
• robot reindeer protocol D.A.N.C.E.R.
• robot reindeer protocol D.A.S.H.E.R.
• robot reindeer protocol D.O.N.N.E.R.
• robot reindeer protocol O.L.I.V.E.
• robot reindeer protocol P.R.A.N.C.E.R.
• robot reindeer protocol R.U.D.O.L.P.H.
• robot reindeer protocol V.I.X.E.N.
• robotronic egg
• rock lobster
• rodeo whiskey
• roll in the hay
• roller skate decoy
• roller skate doll
• room scale green bean casserole
• root beer
• rope with some soap on it
• rose
• rose-colored glasses
• rotten tomato
• rotting barrel
• rotting cowskin
• rough fish scale
• round blue bomb
• rubber WWBBDD? bracelet
• rubber WWSPD? bracelet
• rubber baby doll
• rubber cape
• rubber doll body
• rubber doll head
• rubber gloves
• rubber nubbin
• rubber spider
• rum ball
• rum-soaked fruitcake
• rune-strewn spoon cocoon
• runproof mascara
• rusty broken diving helmet
• rusty compass
• rusty diving helmet
• rusty metal greaves
• rusty piece of rebar
• rusty porthole
• rusty rivet
• rusty speargun
• rusty staff
• rusty valve wheel
• rutabuga bag
• rxr shield
• s'more gun
• sachet of strange powder
• sack lunch
• saffron antaravasaka
• saffron uttarasanga
• salacious lychee chuhai
• salacious screwdiver
• salamander slurry
• salinated mint julep
• salmagumdi
• salt plum sake
• salt wages
• salt water taffy
• salted mutton
• saltwaterbed
• salty drippy candy bar
• sampler size toothpaste
• samurai turtle
• samurai turtle helmet
• sandwich of the gods
• sane hatrack
• sangria del diablo
• sardine can key
• sauce of the ages
• sausage bomb
• sausage golem
• sausage without a cause
• sausage wonton
• savings bond
• savory dry noodles
• sawblade shield
• sawed-off blunderbuss
• scabrous seal epaulets
• scale-mail underwear
• scary death orb
• scepter of the Skeleton Lord
• school spirit socket set
• scimitar cozy
• scintillating powder
• scotch on the rocks
• scrap metal
• scratch 'n' sniff UPC sticker
• scratch 'n' sniff apple sticker
• scratch 'n' sniff dragon sticker
• scratch 'n' sniff rock band sticker
• scratch 'n' sniff unicorn sticker
• scratch 'n' sniff wrestler sticker
• screwdiver
• scroll case
• scroll of Protection from Bad Stuff
• scroll of Puddingskin
• scroll of minor invulnerability
• scroll of protection from lycanthropes
• scrumdiddlyumptious solution
• scrumptious ice ant
• scrunchie tourniquet
• sea blueberry
• sea broccoli
• sea cape
• sea cauliflower
• sea chaps
• sea cowbell
• sea cowboy hat
• sea holster
• sea jelly
• sea lasso
• sea leather
• sea mantle
• sea persimmon
• sea salt scrubs
• sea shawl
• sea truffle
• sea-worn candlestick
• seal lube
• seal medal
• seal-brain elixir
• sealhide belt
• sealhide buckler
• sealhide cloak
• sealhide gloves
• sealhide hood
• sealhide leggings
• sealhide moccasins
• sealhide seal doll
• sealhide snare
• sealhide whip
• sealskin drum
• seaode
• seaweed
• sebaceous shield
• second-hand knockoff engagement ring
• secret from the future
• security automa-core
• security blankie
• seegar butt
• self-dribbling basketball
• self-repairing earmuffs
• senate fly thorax
• sensitive poetry journal
• sequin-encrusted sweater
• serum of sarcasm
• set of Unobtainium straps
• severed rocking horse head
• sew-on bandage
• sewage-clogged pistol
• sewer nuggets
• sewer turtle
• sewer wad
• shadow bread
• shadow brick
• shadow candle
• shadow candy
• shadow chef's hat
• shadow flame
• shadow fluid
• shadow glass
• shadow hammer
• shadow hot dog
• shadow ice
• shadow martini
• shadow monocle
• shadow nectar
• shadow needle
• shadow pill
• shadow sausage
• shadow sinew
• shadow skin
• shadow stick
• shadow trousers
• shadow venom
• shadowy cat claw
• shadowy cheat sheet
• shadowy seal eye
• shady shades
• shaker of dry rub
• sham champagne
• shamanic beads
• shapeless wide-brimmed hat
• shark jumper
• shark tooth necklace
• sharkfin gumbo
• sharp tin strip
• sharpened hubcap
• sharpened spoon
• shavin' razor
• shaving cream
• shellacked shell
• shells a la shellfish
• shield of the Skeleton Lord
• shim of shame shale
• shimmering tendrils
• shining goblet
• shining halo
• shiny brass tailfeathers
• shiny gold fronts
• shiny hood ornament
• shiny tribal beads
• shipwright's hammer
• shocked shell
• shoe gum
• shoo-fish pie
• shopkeeper beard
• shot of Sneaky Pete's Mojo
• shot of mescal
• shot of nepenthe schnapps
• shoulder-mounted Trainbot
• shoulder-warming lotion
• shrapnel jelly donut
• shredded hellseal hide
• shrimp cocktail
• shrine to the Barrel god
• shrink-wrapped 2002 Mr. Store Catalog
• shrink-wrapped Cincho de Mayo
• shrinking powder
• shuddering cow skull
• sicksilver ring
• sicksilver spurs
• siesta-ing Casagnova gnome
• signal fragment
• signal receiver
• silent A
• silent C
• silent G
• silent K
• silent N
• silent Q
• silent R
• silent V
• silent beret
• silent nightlight
• silent pea shooter
• silicon-infused gluteal shield
• silk garter snake
• silky pirate drawers
• silver Dreadsylvanian flask
• silver cheese-slicer
• silver cow creamer
• silver cow skull
• silver face paint
• silver keg
• silver paté knife
• silver salt-shaker
• silver sausage
• silver shotgun shell
• silver table-scraper
• single atom
• single of Donho's Bubbly Ballad
• single of Inigo's Incantation of Inspiration
• single swig of vodka
• single-use dust mask
• sinister altar fragment
• sinister ancient tablet
• sinister demon mask
• sinistral homunculus
• six tiny wedges of goat cheese
• six-pack of New Cloaca-Cola
• six-rainbow shield
• skate blade
• skate board
• skate skates
• skate skin
• skeletortoise
• skewered cherry
• skewered jumbo olive
• skewered lime
• skull capacitor
• skull gearshift knob
• skull with a fuse in it
• skulldozer egg
• slap and slap again
• slap and slap again recipe
• sleaze cluster
• sleaze clusterbomb
• sleazy and sour sauce
• sleazy bindle
• sleazy hi mein
• sleep mask
• sleeping patriotic eagle
• sleeping piano cat
• sleeping profane parrot
• sleeping wereturtle
• sleeve deuce
• slice of pizza
• slicksilver ring
• slicksilver spurs
• slide rule
• slightly thicker filthy rags
• slime convention coupons
• slime convention flyers
• slime convention pin
• slime convention swag bag
• slime convention t-shirt
• slime fedora
• slime knuckles
• slime stack
• slime waders
• slime-covered club
• slime-covered compass
• slime-covered greaves
• slime-covered helmet
• slime-covered lantern
• slime-covered necklace
• slime-covered shovel
• slime-covered speargun
• slime-covered staff
• slime-soaked brain
• slime-soaked hypophysis
• slime-soaked sweat gland
• slimy alveolus
• slimy fermented bile bladder
• slimy paste
• slimy sweetbreads
• slip 'n' slide
• slippery when wet shield
• slow jam collection
• slug of rum
• slug of shochu
• slug of vodka
• small Crimbo Pressie
• small golem
• small gummi fin
• small slimy cyst
• small stone triangle
• smashed danish
• smile-sharpening stone
• smiley-face sticker
• smoked potsherd
• smoker's cloak
• smoking grass
• smoking talon
• smoldering bagel punch
• smoldering box
• smoldering leafcutter ant egg
• smooth mushroom wine
• smudge stick
• smudged alchemical recipe
• snailmail bits
• snailmail breeches
• snailmail coif
• snailmail hauberk
• snake skin
• snakeskin cowboy hat
• snakeskin jacket
• snakeskin thighboots
• sneakeasies
• sneaky wrapping paper
• snow belly
• snow berries
• snow cleats
• snow crab
• snow fort
• snow halo
• snow hat
• snow machine
• snow pants
• snowman-enchanting tophat
• snowpack
• snowstick
• soap knife
• sober pill
• sock garters
• soft cap of diminishing returns
• soft green echo eyedrop antidote martini
• software bug
• software glitch
• soggy wofl t-shirt
• solid asbestos box
• solid baconstone earring
• solid baconstone necklace
• solid baconstone ring
• solid chrome box
• solid gold jewel
• solid linoleum box
• solid shifting time weirdness
• solid state loom
• sonar fishfinder
• sorority brain
• sorority girl's box
• soul coin
• soul doorbell
• soul knife
• soul mask
• soul monocle
• soup turtle
• soup-chucks
• sour ball and chain
• souvenir flag
• soy cordial
• soyburger juice
• space blanket
• space chowder
• space jam
• space jam toast
• space jellybicycle
• space marine flash grenade
• space pirate treasure map
• space planula
• space trooper helmet
• space wine
• spagecialetti
• spaghetti breakfast
• spaghetti con calaveras
• spaghetti cult mask
• spaghetti cult rosary
• spaghetti with ghost balls
• spaghetti-box banjo
• spandex anniversary shorts
• spangly mariachi pants
• spangly mariachi vest
• spangly sombrero
• spangly unitard
• spant egg casing
• spant spear
• spare battery
• spare chocolate parts
• spark plug earring
• sparking El Vibrato drone
• sparkling orb
• sparkly engagement ring
• spearfish fishing spear
• special clip: boneburners
• special clip: graveburpers
• special clip: splatterers
• special clip: squelchers
• special clip: tracers
• special clip: wailers
• special edition Batfellow comic
• special sauce glove
• specialty ammo bandolier
• spectral axe
• spectral jelly
• speed limit shield
• spider leg
• spiky turtle helmet
• spiky turtle shield
• spiky turtle shoulderpads
• spinning wheel
• spirit bed
• spirit bell
• spirit blanket
• spirit gum
• spirit mattress
• spirit pillow
• spirit sheet
• splendid martini
• sponge helmet
• spongy shield
• spooky and sour sauce
• spooky bindle
• spooky cluster
• spooky clusterbomb
• spooky eyeliner
• spooky hi mein
• spooky hockey mask
• spooky lo mein
• spooky rattling cigar box
• spoon!
• spoonful of Linguine-Os
• spring shoes
• sprinkle-begging cup
• sprinkles
• spruce juice
• squamous polyp
• square sponge pants
• squeaky toy rose
• squirming Slime larva
• squirming egg sac
• squirmy violent party snack
• stained glass serape
• stained glass shards
• stained glass shield
• stained glass shiv
• stained glass spectacles
• stained glass stetson
• stained glass suspenders
• stained hard candy
• stained mattress
• stainless steel scarf
• stainless steel shillelagh
• stainless steel skullcap
• stainless steel slacks
• stainless steel solitaire
• stainless steel suspenders
• standards and practices guide
• star pop
• status cymbal
• steamed oyster
• steaming evil
• steamy ruby
• steel knuckles
• steel sword
• steely marble
• stench and sour sauce
• stench cluster
• stench clusterbomb
• stepmom's booze
• stick of firewood
• stick-on eyebrow piercing
• stick-on gnome beard
• stick-on mini solar panels
• sticky hand whip
• sticky sword blade
• still grill
• still-beating spleen
• stink-penny
• stinkin' bindle
• stinking agaricus
• stinkwater
• stinky cheese ball
• stinky cheese diaper
• stinky cheese eye
• stinky cheese sword
• stinky cheese wheel
• stinky fannypack
• stinky hi mein
• stolen meatpouch
• stomach turnover
• stomp box
• stone baseball cap
• stop shield
• strange cube
• strange helix fossil
• strange paste
• strange shiny disc
• strange stalagmite
• strange stone pyramid
• straw pole
• strawberyl necklace
• stray chihuahua
• streetfighting champion's belt
• string of dingle balls
• string of moist beads
• structural ember
• studded sealhide shield
• stuffed "L"
• stuffed Hodgman
• stuffed Mob Penguin
• stuffed carpenter
• stuffed club
• stuffed dinosaur
• stuffed ghuol whelp
• stuffed kraken
• stuffed sabre-toothed lime
• stuffed stab bat
• stuffed yam stinkbomb
• stuffed yeti
• stuffed yo-yo
• stuffed zmobie
• stuffed-shirt scarecrow
• styrofoam peanuts
• subscription cocoa dispenser
• sucker bucket
• sucker hakama
• sucker kabuto
• sucker tachi
• sugar banana
• sugar bunny
• sugar cherry
• sugar fairy
• sugar lime
• sugar raygun
• sugarplum ration
• suggestive strozzapreti
• sun-dried tofu
• sundae ration
• super-absorbent tarp
• super-heated leaf
• super-size brogurt
• super-strong air freshener
• super-sweet boom box
• superduperball
• superhero mask
• supportive bra
• surgical tape
• surprisingly capacious handbag
• sushi doily
• sushi-rolling mat
• suspicious package
• suspicious stocking
• suspicious-looking fedora
• swamp haunch
• swamp lolly
• sweat socks
• sweat-ade
• sweatband
• sweaty balsam
• sweet nutcracker
• sweet party mix
• sweet potato o' mine
• sweet potato punch
• sweet tooth
• swirling mushroom wine
• sword behind inappropriate prepositions
• swordzall
• synaptic soup
• syncopated turtle
• synthetic rock
• tabletop candy dispenser
• tailbone shield
• tainted icing
• talisman of Seshat
• talkative skull
• talking spade
• tangarita
• tangled mass of creepy pasta
• tankard of ale
• tankard of spiced Goldschlepper
• tankard of spiced rum
• tapped black lotus
• targeting chip
• tarnished luggage key
• tasteful black bow tie
• tasty louse
• tattered paper crown
• tattoo gun
• tattoo of two turkeys
• tawdry amethyst
• teacher's pen
• tearaway pants
• teddy bear sewing kit
• teddy borg sewing kit
• teflon ore
• teflon shield
• teflon swim fins
• temperance whiskey
• temporary X tattoos
• temporary tribal tattoo
• temporary yak tattoo
• tempura air
• tempura avocado
• tempura broccoli
• tempura carrot
• tempura cauliflower
• tempura cucumber
• tempura green and red bean
• tempura radish
• tennis ball
• teqiwila
• teqiwila slammer
• terra cotta tambourine
• terra cotta tidbits
• terra cotta tie tack
• terra cotta tongs
• terra cotta train
• terra cotta trousers
• terra cotta truss
• testy toolbox
• thanksgiving bomb
• the Archwizard's briefs
• the Crymbich Manuscript
• the Crymbich Manuscript (used)
• the Ley Incursion's waist
• the finger
• the kindest cold cut
• the most dangerous bait
• theoretical string
• thermos of "whiskey"
• thicksilver ring
• thicksilver spurs
• third ear
• thought balloon
• three-tiered wedding cake
• thriftshop coupon
• throbbing organ pie
• throbbing rage gland
• throwin' ember
• throwing bone
• throwing candy
• thyme jelly donut
• ticksilver ring
• ticksilver spurs
• tie-dye headband
• tie-dyed fannypack
• tied-up flaming leaflet
• tied-up flaming monstera
• tied-up leaviathan
• time halo
• time helmet
• time residue
• time shuriken
• time sleigh
• time sword
• time trousers
• time's arrow
• time-twitching toolbelt
• tin cup of mulligan stew
• tin magnolia
• tin of submardines
• tin rations
• tin star
• tin thermos of chai
• tinsel fin
• tinsel orb
• tiny Tina gun
• tiny baby scorpion
• tiny ballet slippers
• tiny barrel
• tiny bindle
• tiny black hole
• tiny bottle of absinthe
• tiny cell phone
• tiny consolation ribbon
• tiny costume wardrobe
• tiny die-cast Bashful the Reindeer
• tiny die-cast CrimboTown Toy Factory
• tiny die-cast Doc the Reindeer
• tiny die-cast Don Crimbo
• tiny die-cast Dopey the Reindeer
• tiny die-cast Father Crimbo
• tiny die-cast Father Crimborg
• tiny die-cast Grumpy the Reindeer
• tiny die-cast Happy the Reindeer
• tiny die-cast Rudolphus of Crimborg
• tiny die-cast Sleepy the Reindeer
• tiny die-cast Sneezy the Reindeer
• tiny die-cast Swiss hen
• tiny die-cast Uncle Hobo
• tiny die-cast Unionize the Elves Sign
• tiny die-cast Zeppo the Reindeer
• tiny die-cast arc-welding Elfborg
• tiny die-cast blade a-spinning
• tiny die-cast death ray in a pear tree
• tiny die-cast factory worker elf
• tiny die-cast gift-wrapping elf
• tiny die-cast golden ring
• tiny die-cast goose a-laying
• tiny die-cast killing bird
• tiny die-cast middle-management elf
• tiny die-cast pencil-pusher elf
• tiny die-cast ribbon-cutting Elfborg
• tiny die-cast stocking-stuffer elf
• tiny die-cast swarm a-swarming
• tiny die-cast turtle mech
• tiny do-rag
• tiny domino mask
• tiny ember
• tiny fly glasses
• tiny frozen prehistoric meteorite jawbreaker
• tiny goth giant
• tiny handful of mixed nuts
• tiny makeup kit
• tiny nose-bone fetish
• tiny plastic "Santa Claus"
• tiny plastic 7-foot dwarf
• tiny plastic Abuela's cottage
• tiny plastic Armory
• tiny plastic Axe Wound
• tiny plastic Bar
• tiny plastic Baron von Ratsworth
• tiny plastic Battlesuit Bugbear Type
• tiny plastic Beebee King
• tiny plastic Beelzebozo
• tiny plastic Black Knight
• tiny plastic Bonerdagon
• tiny plastic Boris
• tiny plastic Boss Bat
• tiny plastic Bugbear Captain
• tiny plastic Cafe
• tiny plastic Captain Kerkard
• tiny plastic Charity the Zombie Hunter
• tiny plastic Cheer Core
• tiny plastic Cheshire bat
• tiny plastic Clancy the Minstrel
• tiny plastic Colonel Brando
• tiny plastic Crimborgatron
• tiny plastic Dr. Awkward
• tiny plastic Duke Starkiller
• tiny plastic Easter Island Bunny
• tiny plastic Ed the Undying
• tiny plastic Factory
• tiny plastic Father McGruber
• tiny plastic Felonia
• tiny plastic G Imp
• tiny plastic Gary Claybender
• tiny plastic Gnollish crossdresser
• tiny plastic Gnomester Blomester
• tiny plastic Iiti Kitty
• tiny plastic Jared the Duskwalker
• tiny plastic Jarlsberg
• tiny plastic Jedediah and Boiling Cloud
• tiny plastic Knob Goblin King
• tiny plastic Knob Goblin bean counter
• tiny plastic Knob Goblin harem girl
• tiny plastic Knott Yeti
• tiny plastic Lord Flameface
• tiny plastic Lord Spookyraven
• tiny plastic Naughty Sorceress
• tiny plastic Norville Rogers
• tiny plastic Professor What
• tiny plastic Queen Bee
• tiny plastic Rene C. Corman
• tiny plastic Scott the Miner
• tiny plastic Sneaky Pete
• tiny plastic Spam Witch
• tiny plastic Spunky Princess
• tiny plastic St. Patrick
• tiny plastic Susie
• tiny plastic The Man
• tiny plastic Trouser Snake
• tiny plastic Wu Tang the Betrayer
• tiny plastic accordion thief
• tiny plastic angry goat
• tiny plastic angry space marine
• tiny plastic anime smiley
• tiny plastic apathetic lizardman
• tiny plastic baby gravy fairy
• tiny plastic batbugbear
• tiny plastic beanbat
• tiny plastic bee swarm
• tiny plastic beebee gunners
• tiny plastic beebee queue
• tiny plastic bitchin' meatcar
• tiny plastic black ops bugbear
• tiny plastic blazing bat
• tiny plastic blood-faced volleyball
• tiny plastic blooper
• tiny plastic brainsweeper
• tiny plastic briefcase bat
• tiny plastic bugaboo
• tiny plastic buzzerker
• tiny plastic caboose
• tiny plastic cavebugbear
• tiny plastic chem lab
• tiny plastic coal car
• tiny plastic cocoabo
• tiny plastic coffee pixie
• tiny plastic conservationist hippy
• tiny plastic cubist bull
• tiny plastic demoninja
• tiny plastic dining car
• tiny plastic disco bandit
• tiny plastic fiendish can of asparagus
• tiny plastic filthy hippy jewelry maker
• tiny plastic fire servant
• tiny plastic fluffy bunny
• tiny plastic food lab
• tiny plastic four-shadowed mime
• tiny plastic fruit golem
• tiny plastic fuzzy dice
• tiny plastic ghost pickle on a stick
• tiny plastic ghuol whelp
• tiny plastic giant pair of tweezers
• tiny plastic goth giant
• tiny plastic grue
• tiny plastic hermit
• tiny plastic hypodermic bugbear
• tiny plastic lemon-in-the-box
• tiny plastic levitating potato
• tiny plastic lobsterfrogman
• tiny plastic locomotive
• tiny plastic moneybee
• tiny plastic mosquito
• tiny plastic mumblebee
• tiny plastic ninja snowman
• tiny plastic nog lab
• tiny plastic passenger car
• tiny plastic peacannon
• tiny plastic primary lab
• tiny plastic protector spectre
• tiny plastic sabre-toothed lime
• tiny plastic sauceror
• tiny plastic scary clown
• tiny plastic seal clubber
• tiny plastic senile lihc
• tiny plastic smarmy pirate
• tiny plastic spiderbugbear
• tiny plastic spiny skelelton
• tiny plastic spoiler
• tiny plastic spooky pirate skeleton
• tiny plastic spooky vampire
• tiny plastic star starfish
• tiny plastic sword
• tiny plastic taco cat
• tiny plastic the Free Man
• tiny plastic turtle tamer
• tiny plastic undead elbow macaroni
• tiny plastic whitesnake
• tiny plastic zmobie
• tiny prop sword
• tiny slimy cyst
• tiny sombrero
• tiny stillsuit
• tiny top hat and cane
• toast with jam
• toasted brie
• toe jam
• toe jam toast
• tofu wonton
• toggle switch (Bartend)
• toggle switch (Bounce)
• tomato juice of powerful power
• tomato soup poster
• tonguebone
• tonic water
• too legit potion
• tooth cap
• toothy trousers
• topiary noseplugs
• torn hellseal sinew
• torquoise
• torquoise ring
• tortoboggan
• tortoboggan shield
• tortoise's blessing
• totally sweet mohawk helmet
• tourmalime tourniquet
• toxic globule
• toxic mop
• toxo
• toy Crimbot mega face
• toy Crimbot power glove
• toy Crimbot rocket legs
• toy Crimbot super fist
• toy maglev monorail
• toy six-seater hovercraft
• toy sixgun
• traffic jam
• traffic jam toast
• train whistle
• training scroll: Shattering Punch
• training scroll: Shivering Monkey Technique
• training scroll: Snokebomb
• trampled ticket stub
• transdermal smoke patch
• transparent pants
• transporter transponder
• traumatic holiday memory
• trench coat
• trench lighter
• triad summoning scroll
• trick coin
• trilobite candy mold
• tropical Crimbo pressie
• tropical swill
• tropical wrapping paper
• trout fang
• trusty torch
• tryptophan dart
• tube of herbal ointment
• tube of pendulum lube
• tube of villain white
• tube sock
• tulip
• tuning fork
• turchucken
• turkish mostaccioli
• turtle mud
• turtle voicebox
• turtle wax
• turtle wax greaves
• turtle wax helmet
• turtle wax shield
• turtle-shaped rock
• turtlemail bits
• turtlemail breeches
• turtlemail coif
• turtlemail hauberk
• tuxedo shirt
• twisted piece of wire
• twisted-up wet towel
• twitching space egg
• twitching time capsule
• twitching trigger finger
• ultimate ultimate frisbee
• ultimate wad
• ultra-soft ferns
• ultracalcium
• ultrafondue
• una poca de gracia
• unappetizing mayolus
• unbearable light
• unbreakable umbrella
• uncanny desk bell
• undamaged Unbreakable Umbrella
• underwater slingshot
• undissolvable contact lenses
• undrilled cosmic bowling ball
• unearthed potsherd
• unearthed volcanic meteoroid
• unemployed hunchbacked minion
• unevolved organism
• unfinished ice sculpture
• unfinished pleasure
• unfortunate dumplings
• unholy water
• uniclops egg
• unidentifiable dried fruit
• uninteresting mayolus
• universal biscuit
• unlocked meat locker
• unoccupied sheep suit
• unopened Bird-a-Day calendar
• unopened diabolic pizza cube box
• unopened tiny stillsuit
• unpowered Robortender
• unquiet spirits
• unremarkable duffel bag
• unsanitized scalpel
• unspeakable lozenges
• unstable quark
• untamable turtle
• untorn tearaway pants package
• unusual disco ball
• unwound clockwork grapefruit
• unwound cymbal-playing monkey
• unwound mechanical songbird
• unwrapped knock-off retro superhero cape
• upsy daisy
• urchin roe
• valuable coin
• vampagne
• vampire glitter
• vampire pellet
• vampyric cloake
• vampyric cloake pattern
• van key
• vanilla-frosted king cake
• velcro boots
• velcro shield
• velour valise
• velour vambraces
• velour vaqueros
• velour veil
• velour veneer
• velour viscometer
• velour voulge
• velvet choker
• vengeful spirit
• vertebra of the Bonerdagon
• very fancy whiskey
• very large caltrop
• very small red dress
• vesper
• vial of Gnomochloric acid
• vial of baconstone juice
• vial of hamethyst juice
• vial of holy water
• vial of hot blood
• vial of humanoid growth hormone
• vial of porquoise juice
• vial of swamp vapors
• vibrating mushroom
• vicious spiked collar
• villainous scythe
• vintage smart drink
• vinyl boots
• vinyl ore
• vinyl shield
• virgin jello shot
• vodka and tonic
• vodka gibson
• vodka stratocaster
• void burger
• void lager
• void shard
• void stone
• voodoo doll
• voodoo snuff
• voter registration form
• votive candle
• votive of confidence
• wad of Crovacite
• wad of cotton
• wad of slimy rags
• wad of spider silk
• waffle
• walkie-talkie
• wand of fudge control
• warbear black box
• warbear breakfast machine
• warbear dress bracers
• warbear dress greaves
• warbear dress helmet
• warbear drone assembler
• warbear drone codes
• warbear liquid lasers
• warbear officer requisition box
• warbear rejuvenation potion
• warbear requisition box
• warbear superpotion
• wardrobe-o-matic
• warehouse clerk's glasses
• warehouse key
• warehouse walkie-talkie
• warm El Vibrato drone
• warm fur
• warm war shawarma
• washboard shield
• water balloon
• water log
• water purification pills
• water-polo cap
• water-polo mitt
• waterlogged crate
• watermelon
• watermelon seed
• wax banana
• wax booze
• wax face
• wax hand
• wax hat
• wax lips
• wax pancake
• wax pants
• weasel stomping pants
• weathered barrel
• webbed comic mask
• wedge of gray cheese
• weedy skirt
• weegee sqouija
• weighted paperclip chain
• weird gazelle steak
• western-style skinning knife
• wet tack
• wet venom duct
• whale cerebrospinal fluid
• whalecake
• whalegun
• whalesteak
• whatsit-covered turtle shell
• wheel of camembert
• whet stone
• whimpering willow bark
• whirled peas
• whisker pencil
• whiskey bittersweet
• whiskey in a broken glass
• white Crimbo ball
• white Dreadsylvanian
• white Xanadian
• white arm towel
• white candygram
• white class ring
• white earbuds
• white mana
• white money bag
• white tulip
• white-label gin
• whole roasted chicken
• wicker clicker
• wicker kickers
• wicker knickers
• wicker slicker
• wicker sticker
• wicker ticker
• wickerbits
• wicksilver ring
• wicksilver spurs
• wild honey pie
• willowy bonnet
• wind-up spider
• windicle
• wine-soaked bone chips
• wintergreen-flavored potato chips
• witch wart
• witch's bra
• witch's bread
• witch's brew
• wizard action figure
• wok lobster
• wolf whistle
• wolfskull mask
• wood screw
• wooden axe
• woolen cravat
• wooly loincloth
• world's most unappetizing beverage
• wormwood stick
• wormwood wedding ring
• woven baling wire bracelets
• wrapped candy cane sword cane
• wrapping paper
• wreath of laurels
• wrench bracelet
• wrestling mask
• wriggling severed nose
• wriggling worm
• writhing drippy candy bar
• wrought-iron flakes
• wrought-iron waders
• wrought-iron walker
• wrought-iron whisk
• wrought-iron widget
• wrought-iron wig
• wrought-iron winch crank
• wumpus hair
• wumpus-hair bolo
• wumpus-hair loincloth
• wumpus-hair net
• wumpus-hair sweater
• wumpus-hair whip
• wumpus-hair wig
• x-ray mirror
• xo-skeleton-in-a-box
• yabba dabba doo rag
• yak anorak
• yak toupee
• yakskin buckler
• yakskin kilt
• yakskin pants
• yakskin skirt
• yam
• yam and swiss
• yam battery
• yam burrito
• yam martini
• yam mayo
• yam slider
• ye olde golde frontes
• yellow brick road
• yellow candygram
• yellow glowstick
• yellow puck
• yellow puck with a bow on it
• yellow rocket
• yellow seashell
• yellow traffic cone
• yield shield
• your own black heart
• yule grog
• yule hatchet
• yuletide troll chrysalis
• yummy death watch beetle
• zen motorcycle
• zombie
• zombie accordion
• zombie mariachi hat
• zombie mariachi pants
• zombie monkey necklace