In their foolhardy quest to collect every item, this player comes 6,269 short.

• Franken Stein
• Überraschthexengebräu
• "DEBBIE" tattoo kit
• "Humorous" T-shirt
• "I survived Y2K" T-Shirt
• "KICK ME" sign
• "Remember the Trees" Shirt
• "caramel" orange
• "honey" dipper
• "meat" stick
• 'Villa' document
• 1 Meat
• 1,970 carat gold
• 1/6th Pound Cake
• 11-leaf clover
• 17-ball
• 18-picohertz resonator crystal
• 1952 Mickey Mantle card
• 20-lb can of rice and beans
• 2002 Mr. Store Catalog
• 37x37x37 puzzle cube
• 4-dimensional fez
• 5-hour acrimony
• 8-billed baseball cap
• 8-bit banana
• 99.44% pure math
• A Beginner's Guide to Charming Snakes (used)
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 1 (used)
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 2 (used)
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 3 (used)
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 4 (used)
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 5 (used)
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 6 (used)
• A Guide to Burning Leaves
• A Guide to Safari
• A Light that Never Goes Out
• A muse-bouche
• ASCII fu manchu
• Abuela Crimbo's special magnet
• Accordion of Jordion
• Acqua Del Piatto Merlot
• Acque Luride Grezze Cabernet
• Admiral's hat
• Adventurer bobblehead
• Adventurer's Kit
• Aerheads
• Affirmation Cookie
• Afternoon Delight
• Agent Corrigan's cigarette
• Agent Mauve
• Aggressive Carrot
• Agitated Turkey
• Aiolion
• Aldebaran sardines
• Alexy sauce
• All-Hallow's Steve's fright wig
• Aluminum Epsilon of Humility
• Amanitee
• Ambitious Turkey
• Amnesiac Ale
• Amoon-Ra Cowtep's nemes
• Amulet of Perpetual Darkness
• Ancient Protector Soda
• Angelhair Culottes
• Anniversary Miniature Sword & Martini Guy
• Annual Ascot
• Antagonistic Snowman Kit
• Apriling band helmet
• Argarggagarg's fang
• Arr, M80
• Arrow (+1)
• Artist's Butterknife of Regret
• Artist's Cookie Cutter of Loneliness
• Artist's Crème Brulée Torch of Fury
• Artist's Spatula of Despair
• Artist's Whisk of Misery
• Ascension Souvenir T-Shirt
• Asdon Martin keyfob (on ring)
• Ass-Stompers of Violence
• Atomic Comic
• Atomic Pop
• Aura Libre
• Autobiography Of Dynamite Superman Jones (used)
• AutumnFest ale
• Ax of L'rose
• Aye Aye
• Aye Aye, Captain
• Aye Aye, Tooth Tooth
• Azurite
• BACON
• BOOterfinger
• BOOtonniere
• BRICKO stud
• BROS Energy Drink
• BUBBLE GUM
• BURT
• Baja sopapilla
• Bal-musette accordion
• Bandolier of the Spaghetti Elemental
• Banfoy's Boutique Order Form
• Bangyomaman battle juice
• Barney's rake
• Baron von Ratsworth's money clip
• Baron von Ratsworth's monocle
• Baron von Ratsworth's tophat
• Barulio's bottle
• Bash-Ōs boxtop
• Bastille Battalion Fondue Trophy
• Bastille Battalion cheese wheel
• Bastille Battalion control rig
• Bastille Battalion control rig crate
• Bastille Battalion control rig loaner voucher
• Bastille Battalion tattoo kit
• Batfellow comic
• Battlie Light Saver
• Beach Buck
• Beach Comb
• Beach Comb Box
• Bee's Knees
• Beefy Crunch Pastaco
• Belt of Howling Anger
• Belt of Loathing
• Better Shrooms and Gardens catalog
• Bettie page
• Bicycle
• Big Punk
• Bigger Bugfinder Blade
• Bird-a-Day calendar
• Bit O' Quail Spleen
• BittyCar HotCar
• BittyCar MeatCar
• BittyCar SoulCar
• Black Angus blackburger
• Black Bart's Booty
• Black Hole
• Black and White Apron Enrollment Form
• Black and White Apron Meal Kit
• Bling of the New Wave
• Bloodbath
• Bloody Nora
• Blue Diamond of Honesty
• Bluzzard
• Bodacious MechaElf Hunter Saga:Relay Wolf
• Boletus Broletus mushroom
• Boltsmann ID badge
• Bonerdagon necklace
• Bonestabber
• Book of Old-Timey Carols
• Booke of Vampyric Knowledge
• Boosty Juice
• Boots of Twilight Whispers
• Boris's Helm
• Boris's Helm (askew)
• Boris's beer
• Boris's bread
• Boss Bat bling
• Boss Bat britches
• Boss Drops
• Boulevardier cocktail
• Bowl of Infinite Jelly
• Bowl of Scorpions
• Bowlet
• Boxing Day Pass
• Boxing Day care package
• Brain Food Pastaco
• Bram's choker
• Brand of Violence
• Brandonian footlocker key
• Breakfast Blast wine cooler
• Breathitin™
• Brimstone Beret
• Brimstone Bludgeon
• Brimstone Boxers
• Brimstone Bracelet
• Brimstone Brooch
• Brimstone Bunker
• Brogre brolo shirt
• Brogre brorts
• Brogre bucket hat
• Bruno's blessing of Mars
• Buddy Bjorn
• Bugbearclaw Donut
• Bugfinder Blade
• Build-a-City Gingerbread kit
• Burt's blessing of Bacchus
• Bustle Hustler
• Buttery Boy
• Byte
• CSA all-purpose soap
• CSA bravery badge
• CSA cheerfulness ration
• CSA discount card
• CSA fire-starting kit
• CSA obedience grenade
• CSA scoutmaster's "water"
• Caipiranha
• Cajun accordion
• Calzone of Legend
• Camp Scout backpack
• Camp Scout pup tent
• Can of Spaghetto
• Candicaine
• Candy Alexander
• Cantelope
• Caramel
• Cargo Cultist Shorts
• Carol of the Bulls
• Carol of the Bulls (used)
• Carol of the Hells
• Carol of the Hells (used)
• Carol of the Thrills
• Carol of the Thrills (used)
• Carpathian longsword
• Carpricorn
• Cat-Herding Prod
• Caveman Dan's favorite rock
• Celsius 233
• Celsius 233 (singed)
• Cement Mixer
• Centauri fish wine
• Chakra Libre
• Chalice of the Malkovich Prince
• Champagne Shimmy
• Charity's choker
• Charleston Choo-Choo
• Charleston shoes
• Charter: Nellyville
• Chateau Mantegna room key
• Ched
• Cheer-Up soda
• Chef Boy, R&D's business card
• Cherrytastrophe wine cooler
• Cheshire Bitten
• Chester's Aquarius medallion
• Chester's bag of candy
• Chester's cutoffs
• Chester's moustache
• Chester's muscle shirt
• Chester's sunglasses
• ChibiBuddy™ (off)
• ChibiBuddy™ (on)
• Chinese curse words
• Choco-Mint patty
• Christmas ham
• Chroner
• Chroner cross
• Chroner trigger
• Chubby and Plump bar
• Churchill
• Cincho de Mayo
• Citrus Crush wine cooler
• Clan Carnival Game
• Clan Floundry
• Clan VIP Lounge invitation
• Clan hot dog stand
• Clan looking glass
• Clan pool table
• Clan shower
• Clan speakeasy
• Clara's bell
• Claw of the Infernal Seal
• Claybender glasses
• Cloaca Cola Polar
• Cloak of Dire Shadows
• Cobra Bowl
• Cocktails of the Age of Sail
• Cocktails of the Age of Sail (used)
• Codpiece of the Goblin King
• Coily™
• Coinspiracy
• Colander of Em-er'il
• Cold Fang
• Cold One
• Cold Stone of Hatred
• Colera Peste Nebbiolo
• Comet Pop
• Comprehensive Cartographic Compendium
• Comprehensive Cartographic Compendium (well-read)
• Congressional Medal of Insanity
• Conspiracy™ mascara
• Convincing People You Can See The Future
• Cool Brunch Pastaco
• Copper Alpha of Sincerity
• Cornbeefadon
• Cosmic Calorie
• Counterclockwise Watch
• Covers-Your-Head
• Covert Ops for Kids
• Covert Ops for Kids (used)
• Cracklin' Oat Bran
• Crazymaker
• Crepes a la Lune
• Crimbeau de toilette
• Crimbo Carol tattoo kit
• Crimbo Cheer tattoo kit
• Crimbo Commerce tattoo kit
• Crimbo Credit
• Crimbo Elf creepy bobble-head
• Crimbo Factory surprise box
• Crimbo bottomless hot cocoa mug
• Crimbo candle
• Crimbo cookie sheet
• Crimbo crystal shards
• Crimbo dinner
• Crimbo dog sweater
• Crimbo food scraps
• Crimbo light-up Rudolph doll
• Crimbo pressie
• Crimbo salad
• Crimbo sapling
• Crimbo smile
• Crimbo stocking
• Crimbo stockings
• Crimbo stogie-scented room odorizer
• Crimbo tattoo kit
• Crimbo train emergency brake
• Crimbo training manual
• Crimbo tree flocker
• Crimbolex watch
• Crimbomega drive chain
• Crimbomination Contraption
• Crimbonium fuel rod
• Crimbosmopolitan
• Crimbot ROM: Mathematical Precision
• Crimbot ROM: Mathematical Precision (dirty)
• Crimbot ROM: Rapid Prototyping
• Crimbot ROM: Rapid Prototyping (dirty)
• Crimbot ROM: Ruthless Efficiency
• Crimbot ROM: Ruthless Efficiency (dirty)
• Crimbot battery
• Crimbot schematic: Big Head
• Crimbot schematic: Big Wheel
• Crimbot schematic: Bit Masher
• Crimbot schematic: Bug Zapper
• Crimbot schematic: Camera Claw
• Crimbot schematic: Candle Lighter
• Crimbot schematic: Cold Shoulder
• Crimbot schematic: Crab Core
• Crimbot schematic: Cyclopean Torso
• Crimbot schematic: Data Analyzer
• Crimbot schematic: Dynamo Head
• Crimbot schematic: Grease / Regular Gun
• Crimbot schematic: Grease Gun
• Crimbot schematic: Gun Face
• Crimbot schematic: Gun Legs
• Crimbot schematic: Heavy Treads
• Crimbot schematic: Heavy-Duty Legs
• Crimbot schematic: High-Speed Fan
• Crimbot schematic: Hoverjack
• Crimbot schematic: Lamp Filler
• Crimbot schematic: Maxi-Mag Lite
• Crimbot schematic: Mega Vise
• Crimbot schematic: Military Chassis
• Crimbot schematic: Mobile Girder
• Crimbot schematic: Nerding Module
• Crimbot schematic: Power Arm
• Crimbot schematic: Power Stapler
• Crimbot schematic: Really Big Head
• Crimbot schematic: Refrigerator Chassis
• Crimbot schematic: Ribbon Manipulator
• Crimbot schematic: Rivet Shocker
• Crimbot schematic: Rocket Skirt
• Crimbot schematic: Rodent Gun
• Crimbot schematic: Rollerfeet
• Crimbot schematic: Security Chassis
• Crimbot schematic: Sim-Simian Feet
• Crimbot schematic: Snow Blower
• Crimbot schematic: Swiss Arm
• Crimbot schematic: Tripod Legs
• Crimbot schematic: Wrecking Ball
• Crimbow Rainbo
• Crimboysters Rockefeller
• Crimbuccaneer bombjacket
• Crimbuccaneer breeches
• Crimbuccaneer captain's purse
• Crimbuccaneer fledges (disintegrating)
• Crimbuccaneer fledges (mint)
• Crimbuccaneer flotsam
• Crimbuccaneer invasion map
• Crimbuccaneer lantern
• Crimbuccaneer mologrog cocktail
• Crimbuccaneer nose ring
• Crimbuccaneer piece of 12
• Crimbuccaneer premium booty sack
• Crimbuccaneer rigging lasso
• Crimbuccaneer runebone
• Crimbuccaneer shirt
• Crimbuccaneer squirtblunderbuss
• Crimbuccaneer tattoo gift certificate
• Crimbuccaneer tavern swab
• Crimbuccaneer tricorn
• Crimbuccaneer war standard
• Crimbuccaneer whale oil
• Crimbylow-rise jeans
• Cursed Punch
• Cycloney
• D roll
• DIY protonic accelerator kit
• DUFRESNE Suds
• Dad's brandy
• Daily Affirmation: Adapt to Change Eventually
• Daily Affirmation: Always be Collecting
• Daily Affirmation: Be Superficially interested
• Daily Affirmation: Be a Mind Master
• Daily Affirmation: Keep Free Hate in your Heart
• Daily Affirmation: Think Win-Lose
• Daily Affirmation: Work For Hours a Week
• Daisy's unclean bloomers
• Dark & Starry
• Dark Jill-O-Lantern
• Dark Jill-of-All-Trades
• Daylight Shavings Helmet
• Deactivated MiniMechaElf
• Dear Past Self Package
• Deck of Every Card
• Deep Dish of Legend
• Deep Machine Tunnels snowglobe
• Dennis's blessing of Minerva
• Devil's Elbow Hot Sauce
• Diamond HP-35 Calculator
• Dinsey Maintenance Manual
• Dinsey Whinskey
• Dinsey face paint
• Dinsey food-cone
• Dinsey tattoo kit
• Dinsey's brain
• Dinsey's glove
• Dinsey's oculus
• Dinsey's pants
• Dinsey's pizza cutter
• Dinsey's radar dish
• Disco 'Fro Pick
• Discontent™ Winter Garden Catalog
• Discount Telescope Warehouse gift certificate
• Disgeist
• Dish of Clarified Butter
• Distant Woods Getaway Brochure
• Doc Clock's thyme cocktail
• Doc Galaktik's Invigorating Tonic
• Doc Galaktik's Vitality Serum
• Doc's Fortifying Wine
• Doc's Limbering Wine
• Doc's Medical-Grade Wine
• Doc's Smartifying Wine
• Doc's Special Reserve Wine
• Doll Moll violin case
• Dolph Bossin's Crimbo hat
• Dolph Bossin's charity note
• Doublepunchplanter
• Drac & Tan
• Dragonscale breastplate
• Drapes-You-Regally
• Dreadsylvania Auditor's badge
• Dreadsylvanian Almanac page
• Dreadsylvanian clockwork key
• Dreadsylvanian cold pocket
• Dreadsylvanian cold-fashioned
• Dreadsylvanian dank and stormy
• Dreadsylvanian grimlet
• Dreadsylvanian hemlock
• Dreadsylvanian hot pocket
• Dreadsylvanian hot toddy
• Dreadsylvanian seed pod
• Dreadsylvanian shepherd's pie
• Dreadsylvanian skeleton key
• Dreadsylvanian sleaze pocket
• Dreadsylvanian slithery nipple
• Dreadsylvanian spooky pocket
• Dreadsylvanian stew
• Dreadsylvanian stink pocket
• Dressage
• Drip Institute petri dish
• Drip harness
• Driplet
• Dripwood slab
• Drizzlers™ Black Licorice
• Drunk Uncles holo-record
• Drunken Astrophysicist
• Drunken Neurologist
• Drunken Philosopher
• Drunkula's bell
• Drunkula's cape
• Drunkula's ring of haze
• Drunkula's silky pants
• Drunkula's wineglass
• Duke Vampire's regal cloak
• Dump Truck
• Dungeon Fist gauntlet
• Duskwalker fangs
• Duskwalker syringe
• Dust bunny
• Dweebisol™ inhaler
• EMD holo-record
• Earth and Firewater
• Earth, Wind and Firewater
• Easter eggnog
• Easter grasshopper
• Ed the Undying exhibit crate
• Effermint™ tablets
• Egnaro berry
• Eight Days a Week Pill Keeper
• El Sombrero De Lopez
• El Vibrato Megadrone
• El Vibrato drone
• El Vibrato energy spear
• El Vibrato helmet
• El Vibrato leg guards
• El Vibrato restraints
• El Vibrato translator
• El Vibrato trapezoid
• Elder Turtle Shell
• Eldritch Intellect: Journey into a Mind of Horror
• Eldritch snap
• Electric Punch
• Elf Army machine parts
• Elf Guard Field Manual: Culinary Arts
• Elf Guard Field Manual: Culinary Arts (used)
• Elf Guard Field Manual: Extortion
• Elf Guard Field Manual: Extortion (used)
• Elf Guard Field Manual: Wilderness Sleeping
• Elf Guard Field Manual: Wilderness Sleeping (used)
• Elf Guard MPC
• Elf Guard SCUBA tank
• Elf Guard broom
• Elf Guard clipboard
• Elf Guard commandeering gloves
• Elf Guard eyedrops
• Elf Guard fuel tank
• Elf Guard hangover cure
• Elf Guard honor present
• Elf Guard hotpants
• Elf Guard insignia (general)
• Elf Guard insignia (private)
• Elf Guard mouthknife
• Elf Guard officer's sidearm
• Elf Guard patrol cap
• Elf Guard payroll bag
• Elf Guard red and white beret
• Elf Guard safety bear
• Elf Guard squirtgun
• Elf Guard strategic map
• Elf Guard temporary (permanent) tattoo
• Elf Guard tinsel grenade
• Elf Guard war standard
• Elizabeth's Dollie
• Elizabeth's paintbrush
• Ellsbury's journal
• Ellsbury's journal (used)
• Elvish underarmor
• Emblem of Ak'gyxoth
• En Una Fila Tequila
• Enchanted Flyswatter
• Enchanted Plunger
• Energy Buzz Pastaco
• Engorged Sausages and You
• Essence of Annoyance
• Essence of Bear
• Event Horizon
• Everfull Dart Holster
• Every Day is Like This Sundae
• Extra-slimy Slimosa
• Extrovermectin™
• Eye Agate
• Eye and a Twist
• FDKOL commendation
• FDKOL fire hose
• FDKOL hotcakes
• FDKOL tattoo
• Fabiotion
• Falcon™ Maltese Liquor
• Fancy Jeff's fancy pocket square
• Fantasma en la Máquina
• FantasyRealm Mage's Hat
• FantasyRealm Rogue's Mask
• FantasyRealm Warrior's Helm
• FantasyRealm guest pass
• FantasyRealm key
• FantasyRealm mead
• FantasyRealm membership packet
• FantasyRealm tattoo kit
• FantasyRealm turkey leg
• Fauna Libre
• Faux
• Feliz Navidad
• Ferita Del Petto Zinfandel
• Fettris
• Field Guide to Skeletal Anatomy (shredded)
• Finnish Fish
• Firewater
• First Post shirt - Cir Senam
• First Post shirt package
• Fitspiration™ poster
• Five Second Energy™
• Flag by the Foot™
• Flamin' Whatshisname
• Flaming Caipiranha
• Flaming Knob
• Flaming Mohobo
• Flaming Sazerorc
• Flan
• Flan in the Moon
• Flash Liquidizer Ultra Dousing Accessory
• Flaskfull of Hollow
• Fleshazole™
• Flivver
• Flying Caipiranha
• Fog Murderer
• Folder Holder
• Former Sheriff Dan's tin star
• Fourth of May Cosplay Saber
• Fourth of May Cosplay Saber kit
• Frank Gorshin trophy
• Frankly Mr. Shank
• Freddie's blessing of Mercury
• Freddy Kruegerand
• French bronilla brogurt
• French slippers
• French-Transylvanian Dictionary
• Friendliness Beverage
• Friendly Turkey
• Frigid Northern Beans
• Frosty's arm
• Frosty's carrot
• Frosty's iceball
• Frosty's nailbat
• Frosty's old silk hat
• Frosty's snowball sack
• Frown Exerciser
• Fu Manchu Wax
• Fudge Fiber Armor Plating
• Fun-Guy spore
• FunFunds™
• Fuzzy Slippers of Hatred
• Fuzzy Tentacle
• Gabarbar
• Galapagosian Cuisses
• Game Grid valued membership card
• GameInformPowerDailyPro magazine
• GameInformPowerDailyPro subscription card
• Garland of Greatness
• Garter of the Turtle Poacher
• Gathered Meat-Clip
• Gauntlets of the Blood Moon
• Gazelleton
• Gearhead Goo
• Gene Tonic: Beast
• Gene Tonic: Constellation
• Gene Tonic: Construct
• Gene Tonic: Demon
• Gene Tonic: Dude
• Gene Tonic: Elemental
• Gene Tonic: Elf
• Gene Tonic: Fish
• Gene Tonic: Goblin
• Gene Tonic: Hippy
• Gene Tonic: Hobo
• Gene Tonic: Horror
• Gene Tonic: Humanoid
• Gene Tonic: Insect
• Gene Tonic: Mer-kin
• Gene Tonic: Orc
• Gene Tonic: Penguin
• Gene Tonic: Pirate
• Gene Tonic: Plant
• Gene Tonic: Slime
• Gene Tonic: Undead
• Gene Tonic: Weird
• General Assembly Module
• Gets-You-Drunk
• Ghiaccio Colada
• Ghosprey
• Ghost Dog Chow
• Ghost Pinching Quarterly
• Giant black monolith
• Ginsu™
• Girdle of Hatred
• Glamare
• Glass Balls of the Goblin King
• Glenn's golden dice
• Glo-Pop
• Globmule
• Glum berry
• Gnollish Crossdress
• Gnollish sangria
• Gnomish sagngria
• God Lobster Egg
• Goggles of Loathing
• Gold Velvet™ whiskey
• Golden HP-35 Calculator
• Golden Kokomo Resort Chip
• Golden Light
• Golden Mr. Accessory
• Golden Mr. Eh?
• Good 'n' Quiet
• Goodfella contract
• Gordon Beer's Beer Garden Catalog
• Gorillape
• Granny Hackleton's Gatling gun
• Granny Tood's Thanksgarden Catalog
• Grasshopper
• Gratitude chocolate (Meat-filled)
• Gratitude chocolate (bourbon-filled)
• Gratitude chocolate (octopus-filled)
• Gratitude chocolate (thyme-filled)
• Gravyskin Belt of the Sauceblob
• Great Older Fashioned
• Great S-Cape
• Great Wolf's beastly trousers
• Great Wolf's headband
• Great Wolf's left paw
• Great Wolf's lice
• Great Wolf's right paw
• Great Wolf's rocket launcher
• Greaves of the Murk Lord
• Greek fire
• Green Burlap
• Green Clover of Justice
• Green Manalishi
• Green Muslin
• Green Velvet
• Gregarious Gregorian Smock
• Grey Guanon
• Grim Brothers' story book
• Grimacite gaiters
• Grimacite galoshes
• Grimacite garter
• Grimacite gasmask
• Grimacite gat
• Grimacite gauntlets
• Grimacite girdle
• Grimacite glaive
• Grimacite go-go boots
• Grimacite goggles
• Grimacite gorget
• Grimacite gown
• Grimacite greaves
• Grimacite guayabera
• Groll doll
• Gummi-Memory
• Guzzlr application
• Guzzlr cocktail set
• Guzzlr hat
• Guzzlr pants
• Guzzlr shoes
• Guzzlr souvenir stein
• Guzzlr tablet
• Guzzlr tattoo kit
• Guzzlrbuck
• Gygaxian Libram
• Gyromitra Dynomita mushroom
• HOA citation pad
• HOA regulation book
• HOA zombie eyes
• HP-35 Calculator
• Hairpiece On Fire
• Half a Purse
• Hand in Glove
• Hand that Rocks the Ladle
• Handsome Devil
• Hat O' Nine Tails
• Haymaker
• Heimz Fortified Kidney Beans
• Hell and How I Bent It
• Hellfire Spicy Beans
• Helm of the Scream Emperor
• Helps-You-Sleep
• Helvella Haemophilia mushroom
• Herring Daiquiri
• Herring Wallbanger
• Herringtini
• Hersey™ SMOOCH
• Hide-rox™ cookie
• Highest Bitter
• History's Most Offensive Jokes, Vol. IX
• Hjodor's Guide to Arctic Dalmatians
• Hjodor's Guide to Arctic Dalmatians (used)
• Hodgman's almanac
• Hodgman's bow tie
• Hodgman's cane
• Hodgman's disgusting technicolor overcoat
• Hodgman's garbage sticker
• Hodgman's harmonica
• Hodgman's imaginary hamster
• Hodgman's lobsterskin pants
• Hodgman's lucky sock
• Hodgman's metal detector
• Hodgman's porkpie hat
• Hodgman's varcolac paw
• Hodgman's whackin' stick
• Holiday Fun!
• Holiday Hal's Happy-Time Fun Book!
• Holiday Multitasking
• Holiday Multitasking (used)
• Homebodyl™
• Horsery contract
• Hot 'n' Scarys
• Hot Socks
• Hotwire™ brand candy rope
• How To Get Bigger Without Really Trying
• How to Avoid Scams
• How to Hold a Grudge
• How to Lose Friends and Attract Snakes
• How to Lose Friends and Attract Snakes (used)
• How to Play Othello
• How to Tolerate Jerks
• Hoyle's Guide to Reindeer Games
• Hoyle's Guide to Reindeer Games (used)
• Huggler Radio
• Humpty Dumplings
• Hundred Headed IPA
• Hunger™ Sauce
• Ice Island Long Tea
• Iceberglar scarf
• Idol of Ak'gyxoth
• Iiti Kitty Gumdrop
• Illuminati earpiece
• Illustrated Mating Rituals of the Gallapagos
• Inigo's Incantation of Inspiration (crumpled)
• Inner Strength
• Inner Truth
• Inner Wisdom
• Instant Karma
• Irish Coffee, English Heart
• Irish eggnog
• Iron Beta of Industry
• Ish Kabibble
• Island Drinkin', a Tiki Mixology Odyssey
• Island Hurricane
• Island Landslide
• Island Thunderstorm
• Item #13
• Iunion Crown
• Jack-O-Lantern beer
• Jacob's rung
• Jamaican coffee
• Jamocha berry
• January's Garbage Tote
• January's Garbage Tote (unopened)
• Jarlsberg's pan
• Jarlsberg's pan (Cosmic portal mode)
• Jarlsberg's vegetable soup
• Jeans of Loathing
• Jefferson wings
• Jekyllin hide belt
• Jeppson's Malort
• Jerks' Health™ Magazine
• Jick's autograph
• Jick-o-User
• Jocko Homo's head
• Jodhpurs of Violence
• Jokester makeup
• June cleaver
• Jungle Juice
• Junior Adventurer's merit badge
• Junior LAAAAME merit badge
• Junk-Bond
• Jurassic Parka
• Kashmir sweater
• Keese berry
• Kelflar vest
• Kevlar balloon
• Knob Goblin Mutagen
• KoL Con 12-gauge
• KoL Con 13 T-shirt
• KoL Con 13 snowglobe
• KoL Con 3-D Glasses
• KoL Con 8-Bit power bracelet
• KoL Con Cinco Piñata Bat
• KoL Con IV Pole
• KoL Con Six Pack
• KoL Con X Bingo Card
• KoL Con X Treasure Map
• KoLHS Pep Squad Box
• Kokomo Resort Brand Suntan Oil
• Kokomo Resort Chip
• Kokomo Resort Order Pad
• Kokomo Resort Pass
• Krakrox's Loincloth
• Kramco Industries packing carton
• Kramco Sausage-o-Matic™
• Krampus Horn
• Kremlin's Greatest Briefcase
• Kudzu salad
• Kudzu slaw
• L.I.M.P. Stock Certificate
• LARP carp
• LARP membership card
• LCD game: Burger Belt
• LCD game: Food Eater
• LCD game: Garbage River
• LED candle
• LI-11 Motor Pool voucher
• LIDAR candle
• LOLmec statuette
• LOV Echinacea Bouquet
• LOV Elephant
• LOV Elixir #3
• LOV Elixir #6
• LOV Elixir #9
• LOV Emotionizer
• LOV Enamorang
• LOV Entrance Pass
• LOV Extraterrestrial Chocolate
• LT&T tattoo kit
• LT&T telegraph office deed
• LWA ring
• La Fantasma y La Oscuridad
• La Hebilla del Cinturón de Lopez
• Lapis Lazuli
• Lava Miner's Daughter
• LavaCo™ Lamp housing
• Lavalos's shell
• Law of Averages
• Lazenby's Life Lesson
• Lazybones™ recliner
• Lead Zeta of Chastity
• Leapin' Trousers
• Lederhosen of the Night
• Left-Hand Man action figure
• Lemonade-235
• Lens of Hatred
• Lens of Violence
• Leonard's glasses
• Lepardner
• Letter from Carrie Bradshaw
• Lewd Lemmy Hair Oil
• Liam's mail
• Libram of BRICKOs
• Libram of Candy Heart Summoning
• Libram of Divine Favors
• Libram of Pulled Taffy
• License To Kill
• License to Chill
• Lil' Doctor™ bag
• Lil' Snowball Factory
• Little Crimson Book
• Little Geneticist DNA-Splicing Lab
• Living to Drink, Drinking to Live
• Loathing Idol Microphone
• Loathing Idol Microphone (25% charged)
• Loathing Idol Microphone (50% charged)
• Loathing Idol Microphone (75% charged)
• Loathing Legion abacus
• Loathing Legion can opener
• Loathing Legion chainsaw
• Loathing Legion corkscrew
• Loathing Legion defibrillator
• Loathing Legion double prism
• Loathing Legion electric knife
• Loathing Legion flamethrower
• Loathing Legion hammer
• Loathing Legion helicopter
• Loathing Legion jackhammer
• Loathing Legion kitchen sink
• Loathing Legion knife
• Loathing Legion moondial
• Loathing Legion pizza stone
• Loathing Legion rollerblades
• Loathing Legion tape measure
• Loathing Legion tattoo needle
• Loathing Legion universal screwdriver
• Locust
• Lollipop Drop
• Lolsipop
• London frog
• Lord Flameface's cloak
• Lord Soggyraven's Slippers
• Louder Than Bomb
• Love Potions and the Wizards who Mix Them
• Lucky Lindy
• Lucky Strikes holo-record
• Ludovico Pastaco
• Lump-Stacking for Beginners
• LyleCo Contractor's Manual
• LyleCo premium magnifying glass
• LyleCo premium monocle
• LyleCo premium pickaxe
• LyleCo premium rope
• MAHI fez
• Mafia bow tie
• Mafia stogie
• Mafia violin case
• Maiali Sifilitici Pinot Noir
• Mallomarbles
• Mansquito Serum
• Mansquito's blood
• Manual of Lock Picking
• Manual of Numberology
• Manual of Secret Door Detection
• Manual of Transcendent Olfaction
• Map to Kokomo
• March hat
• Mark I Steam-Hat
• Mark II Steam-Hat
• Mark III Steam-Hat
• Mark IV Steam-Hat
• Mark V Steam-Hat
• Mark of the Bugbear
• Mark of the Ghost
• Mark of the Skeleton
• Mark of the Vampire
• Mark of the Werewolf
• Mark of the Zombie
• Marltini
• Marquis de Poivre soda
• Martialest Arts trophy
• Marvelous Unitard
• Marvin's marvelous pill
• Master Thief's utility belt
• MayDay™ contract
• Mayam Calendar
• Mayam spinach
• Mayo de Mayo™ mayo
• Mayodiol
• Mayoflex
• Mayonex
• Mayor Ghost's cloak
• Mayor Ghost's gavel
• Mayor Ghost's khakis
• Mayor Ghost's sash
• Mayor Ghost's scissors
• Mayor Ghost's toupee
• Mayostat
• Mayozapine
• McLeod's Hard Haggis-Ade
• McPhee's Grimoire of Hilarious Object Summoning
• Meat Butler
• Meat Tenderizer is Murder
• Meat-inflating powder
• Meatcleaver
• Mechamelion
• Medallion of the Ventrilo Prince
• Medical Pastaco
• Medicinal Herb's medicinal herbs
• Memories of Beanslinging
• Memories of Cow Punching
• Memories of Snake Oiling
• Memory Disk, Alpha
• Mer-kin begsign
• Mer-kin bunwig
• Mer-kin cancerstick
• Mer-kin cheatsheet
• Mer-kin cookiestove
• Mer-kin cooljuice
• Mer-kin darkbook
• Mer-kin dodgeball
• Mer-kin dragbelt
• Mer-kin dragnet
• Mer-kin eyedrops
• Mer-kin eyeglasses
• Mer-kin facecowl
• Mer-kin finpaddle
• Mer-kin fitbrine
• Mer-kin gladiator mask
• Mer-kin gladiator tailpiece
• Mer-kin gutgirdle
• Mer-kin hallpass
• Mer-kin headguard
• Mer-kin knucklebone
• Mer-kin lipstick
• Mer-kin lunchbox
• Mer-kin mouthsoap
• Mer-kin ragejuice
• Mer-kin rocksalt
• Mer-kin rollpin
• Mer-kin saltmint
• Mer-kin saltsquid
• Mer-kin sawdust
• Mer-kin scholar mask
• Mer-kin scholar tailpiece
• Mer-kin smartjuice
• Mer-kin stopwatch
• Mer-kin strongjuice
• Mer-kin switchblade
• Mer-kin thighguard
• Mer-kin waistrope
• Mer-kin weaksauce
• Mer-kin wordquiz
• Mer-kin worktea
• Merc Core Field Manual: Intimidation Techniques
• Merc Core Field Manual: Sanity Maintenance
• Merc Core challenge coin
• Merc Core deployment orders
• Meteoid ice beam
• Meteorite-Ade
• Microplushie: Bropane
• Microplushie: Dorkonide
• Microplushie: Ermahgerdic Acid
• Microplushie: Fauxnerditide
• Microplushie: Gothochondria
• Microplushie: Hippylase
• Microplushie: Hipsterine
• Microplushie: Hobomosome
• Microplushie: Otakulone
• Microplushie: Raverdrine
• Microplushie: Sororitrate
• Middle of the Road™ brand whiskey
• Milk Studs
• Mini-Crimbot crate
• MiniMechaElf Laser Punch Missile Launcher
• Mint-in-box Moonthril Circlet
• Mint-in-box Moonthril Cuirass
• Mint-in-box Moonthril Flamberge
• Mint-in-box Moonthril Greaves
• Mint-in-box Moonthril Longbow
• Miserable Pie
• Miss Graves' vermouth
• Missing Eye Simulation Device
• Misty Cape
• Misty Cloak
• Misty Robe
• Mixed Garbanzos and Chickpeas
• Mjolnir Jr.
• Mmm-brr! brand mouthwash
• Mob Penguin protection contract
• Mohobo
• Monster Manuel
• Moon Pie
• Moonds
• Moonshine Mohobo
• Moonthril Schnapps
• Moping Artistic Goth Kid
• More Humanitini than Humanitini
• Mornington crescent roll
• Morphan
• Mortimer's nostrum
• Mountain Stream Code Black Alert
• Mountain Stream gastrique
• Mr. Accessaturday
• Mr. Accessory Jr.
• Mr. Big's Wallet
• Mr. Burnsger
• Mr. Cheeng's spectacles
• Mr. Container
• Mr. Exploiter
• Mr. Haggis
• Mr. Screege's spectacles
• Mr. Shirt
• Mrs. Rush
• Mt. McLargeHuge oyster
• Mt. Noob Pale Ale
• Mu
• Murderer's Punch
• Murgatroyd diode
• Mustardigrade
• My First Art of War
• My First Paycheck envelope
• My Life of Crime, a Memoir
• My Own Pen Pal kit
• Mylar balloon
• Mysterious Black Box
• Mysterious Blue Box
• Mysterious Green Box
• Mysterious Island iced tea
• Mysterious Red Box
• Mysterious Stranger
• N. O. Beer
• Nadsat berry
• Napalm In The Morning™ candle
• Never Don't Stop Not Striving
• Neverending Party favor
• Neverending Party guest pass
• Neverending Party invitation envelope
• New Age healing crystal
• New Age hurting crystal
• New Zealand iced tea
• New-You Club Membership Form
• Newark
• Newbiesport™ backpack
• Newman's Own Trousers
• Nickel Gamma of Frugality
• Nightmare Fuel
• No Hats as Art
• Nog-on-the-Cob
• Non-Euclidean Finance
• Northern pemmican
• Novelty Belt Buckle of Violence
• Now You're Cooking With Grease
• Nursine
• O
• O'RLY manual
• Official Council Aide Pin
• Official Seal of Dreadsylvania
• Ogres and Oubliettes™ module
• Oh, the Humanitini
• Okee-Dokee soda
• Ol' Scratch's ash can
• Ol' Scratch's infernal pitchfork
• Ol' Scratch's manacles
• Ol' Scratch's ol' britches
• Ol' Scratch's stove door
• Olympic-sized Clan crate
• Omphalotus Omphaloskepsis mushroom
• Oopsie IPA
• Oppossum
• Orangemageddon wine cooler
• Order of the Green Thumb Order Form
• Order of the Silver Wossname
• Oreille Divisée brandy
• Oscus's dumpster waders
• Oscus's flypaper pants
• Oscus's garbage can lid
• Oscus's neverending soda
• Oscus's pelt
• Osk'r Chow
• Othello's dagger
• Othello's handkerchief
• Othello's military jacket
• Otorian Battle Scar
• Ouija Board, Ouija Board
• Our Daily Candles™ order form
• Outer Wolf™ cologne
• P.B.L.T.
• PARTY HARD T-shirt
• PB&BP
• PB&J with the crusts cut off
• PEEZ dispenser
• Pack of Alice's Army Foil Cards
• Pack of Every Card
• Paint A Vulgar Pitcher
• Pan-Dimensional Gargle Blaster
• Panda outfit
• Pantaloons of Hatred
• Pantsgiving
• Para-Pop
• Party Planning on a Budget
• Party Tattoo™ gift certificate
• Party-in-a-Can™
• Pastaco shell
• Peaclock
• Pecos Dave's sixgun
• Peek-a-Boo!
• Pendant of Gargalesis
• Pener's drumstick
• Peppermint Pip Packet
• Periodical Paintbrush
• Pete & Jackie's Dragon Tooth Emporium Catalog
• Pete's rich ricotta
• Pete's wiley whey bar
• Petite Paintbrush
• Phil Collins
• Phlegethon
• Phonus Balonus
• Pigsticker of Violence
• Pillowbug
• Pimpsqueak
• Pink Heart of Spirit
• PirateRealm guest pass
• PirateRealm membership packet
• PirateRealm party hat
• Pizza of Legend
• Plague of Locusts
• Platinum HP-35 Calculator
• Platinum Yendorian Express Card
• Pneumo bar
• Pocket Guide to Mild Evil
• Pocket Guide to Mild Evil (used)
• Pocket Meteor Guide
• Pocket Meteor Guide (well-thumbed)
• Pocket Professor memory chip
• Pocket Square of Loathing
• Poké-Gro fertilizer
• Pokéfam Guide to Capturing All of Them
• Pokëmann band-aid
• Polysniff Perfume
• Pop Art: a Guide
• Pork 'n' Pork 'n' Pork 'n' Beans
• Potion of Heroism
• Power-Guy 2000 holo-record
• Powerful Glove
• Professor What T-Shirt
• Professor of Spelunkology
• Protects-Your-Junk
• Prunets
• Psycho From The Heat
• Psychotic Train wine
• Puffstone cigar
• Punching Potion
• Punchplanter
• Purple Beast energy drink
• Purple Horseshoe of Honor
• Quaatorade™
• Quartet of Flare Masters Jacket
• Quiets-Your-Steps
• Rümpelstiltz
• R'lyeh
• ROM of Optimality
• Racisto Ruidoso
• Rad Lib
• Rad-B-Gone (1 lb.)
• Rad-Pro (1 oz.)
• Radberry Rip wine cooler
• Radio Free Baseball Cap
• Radio Free Foil
• Radio Free Jersey
• Radio Free Pants
• Radio KoL Coffee Mug
• Radio KoL Keychain
• Radio KoL Maracas
• Radio KoL Patch
• Raggedy Hippy doll
• Rainbow Jello Mould
• Ralph IX cognac
• Rattlin' Chains
• Recipe of Before Yore: Boris's beer
• Recipe of Before Yore: Boris's bread
• Recipe of Before Yore: Calzone of Legend
• Recipe of Before Yore: Deep Dish of Legend
• Recipe of Before Yore: Jarlsberg's vegetable soup
• Recipe of Before Yore: Pete's rich ricotta
• Recipe of Before Yore: Pete's wily whey bar
• Recipe of Before Yore: Pizza of Legend
• Recipe of Before Yore: St. Pete's sneaky smoothie
• Recipe of Before Yore: baked veggie ricotta
• Recipe of Before Yore: honey bun of Boris
• Recipe of Before Yore: plain calzone
• Recipe of Before Yore: ratatouille de Jarlsberg
• Recipe of Before Yore: roasted vegetable focaccia
• Recipe of Before Yore: roasted vegetable of J.
• Red Army camouflage kit
• Red Balloon of Valor
• Red Fox glove
• Red Roger tattoo kit
• Red Roger's red left foot
• Red Roger's red left hand
• Red Roger's red right foot
• Red Roger's red right hand
• Red Roger's reliquary
• Red Roger's skull
• Red Russian
• Red X Shield
• Redeye™ Eyedrops
• Rethinking Candy
• Retrospecs
• Retrospecs try-at-home kit
• Riker's Search History
• Rock Garden Guide
• Rogue Windmill Rouge
• Roman Candelabra
• Roman sadnals
• Rompedores de Fantasmas
• Royal scepter
• Rubee™
• Ruffalo
• S.I.T. Course Completion Certificate
• S.I.T. Course Voucher
• S.S. Ticket
• SMOOCH bottlecap
• SMOOCH bracers
• SMOOCH breastplate
• SMOOCH codpiece
• SMOOCH coffee cup
• SMOOCH kneepads
• SMOOCH soda
• SMOOCH spaulders
• STYX deodorant body spray
• Sacramento wine
• Safari Jack's moustache
• Saison du Lune
• SalesCo sample kit
• Salsa Caliente™ candle
• Salsa Libre
• Sasq™ watch
• Satan hat
• Saturday Night Special
• Saucepanic
• Sazerorc
• Sazuruk-hai
• Scalp of Gorgolok
• Scandalously Skimpy Bikini
• Scent of a Human™ candle
• Scepter of Loathing
• Sceptre of the Torremolinos Prince
• Schmalz's First Prize Beer
• School of Hard Knocks Diploma
• Science Notebook
• Scorpion Bowl
• Scratch-and-Sniff Guide to Dinseylandfill
• Scuba Snack
• Scurvy and Sobriety Prevention
• Sealed TakerSpace letter of Marque
• Seasonal Beret
• Secrets of the Master Egg Hunters
• Secrets of the Master Egg Hunters (used)
• Senior LAAAAME merit badge
• Sept-Ember Censer
• Septapus summoning charm
• Sequestrian
• Seven Loco
• Sexy Cosmo
• Shakespeare's Sister's Accordion
• Shantix™
• Sheila Take a Crossbow
• Shield of Icy Fate
• Shielding Potion
• Shivering Chèvre
• Shore Inc. Ship Trip Scrip
• Shot of Kardashian Gin
• Shrieking Weasel holo-record
• Shrub's Premium Baked Beans
• Shrubble Bubble
• Shudder
• Siberian sunrise
• Silly Little Love Song
• Silver HP-35 Calculator
• Simepore slime
• Sister Accessory
• Site Alpha ID badge
• Sitrep berry
• Size XI Wizard's Robe
• Sizzling Sinner
• Sketcherz™
• Skipper's accordion
• Skull Punch
• Skullery Maid's Knee
• Skully's hot chocolate
• Sledgehamster
• Slimebite
• Slimosa
• Sloe Comfortable Zoo
• Sloppy Jalopy
• Sloppy Seconds Diner Employee Handbook
• Slotter
• Smart Bone Dust
• Smashmoth
• Smoldering Clover™ candle
• Smuggler's Punch
• Snarf berry
• Sneaky Pete's leather jacket
• Sneaky Pete's leather jacket (collar popped)
• Snoutlet
• Snow Suit
• Sockdollager
• Sogg-Os
• Solstice Shield
• Sombrero De Vida
• SongBoom™ BoomBox
• SongBoom™ BoomBox Box
• Source essence
• Source shades
• Source terminal
• Source terminal ASHRAM chip
• Source terminal CRAM chip
• Source terminal DIAGRAM chip
• Source terminal DRAM chip
• Source terminal GRAM chip
• Source terminal INGRAM chip
• Source terminal PRAM chip
• Source terminal SCRAM chip
• Source terminal SPAM chip
• Source terminal TRAM chip
• Source terminal TRIGRAM chip
• Source terminal file: compress.edu
• Source terminal file: cram.ext
• Source terminal file: critical.enh
• Source terminal file: damage.enh
• Source terminal file: dram.ext
• Source terminal file: duplicate.edu
• Source terminal file: familiar.ext
• Source terminal file: gram.ext
• Source terminal file: portscan.edu
• Source terminal file: pram.ext
• Source terminal file: protect.enq
• Source terminal file: spam.ext
• Source terminal file: stats.enq
• Source terminal file: substats.enh
• Source terminal file: tram.ext
• Source terminal file: turbo.edu
• Sourfinger
• Southern yam
• Souvenir Chopsticks
• Space Baby bawbaw
• Space Baby children's book
• Space Pirate Astrogation Handbook
• Space Tourist Phaser
• Space Tours Tripple
• Space Trip safety headphones
• Spacegate Initiative tattoo unit
• Spacegate Research
• Spacegate access badge
• Spacegate diplomat's insignia
• Spacegate emergency disintegrator
• Spacegate military insignia
• Spacegate scientist's insignia
• Spaghetti with Moonballs
• Spant eggs
• Spasmi Dolorosi Del Rene Champagne
• Spechunky bar
• Special Seasoning
• Special™ Sauce
• Spellbook: Drescher's Annoying Noise
• Spellbook: Singer's Faithful Ocelot
• Spellbook: Walberg's Dim Bulb
• Spelunker of Fortune
• Spelunker of Fortune (used)
• Spelunker's Guild prize sack
• Spelunker's fedora
• Spelunker's khakis
• Spelunker's whip
• SpinMaster™ lathe
• Spirit of Christmas
• Spirit of Easter
• Spirit of St. Patrick's Day
• Spirit of Thanksgiving
• Spirit of Veteran's Day
• Spooky Putty ball
• Spooky Putty monster
• Spooky VHS Tape
• Spookyraven signet
• Spring Break Beach "swimsuit"
• Spring Break Beach tattoo coupon
• Spring Bros. ID badge
• Spring Bros. solenoid
• Squat-Thrust Magazine
• Squib
• St. Pete's sneaky smoothie
• St. Sneaky Pete's Whey
• Stabonic scroll
• Staff of Frozen Lard
• Staff of Holiday Sensations
• Staff of Kitchen Royalty
• Staff of Simmering Hatred
• Staff of the Cozy Fish
• Staff of the Deepest Freeze
• Staff of the Electric Range
• Staff of the Headmaster's Victuals
• Staff of the Peppermint Twist
• Staff of the Roaring Hearth
• Staff of the Scummy Sink
• Staff of the Soupbone
• Staff of the Teapot Tempest
• Staff of the Well-Tempered Cauldron
• Star Spawn
• Star of Bravery
• Steam Card: DemonStar (#1)
• Steam Card: DemonStar (#2)
• Steam Card: DemonStar (#3)
• Steam Card: Dungeon Fist (#1)
• Steam Card: Dungeon Fist (#2)
• Steam Card: Dungeon Fist (#3)
• Steam Card: Jackass Plumber (#1)
• Steam Card: Jackass Plumber (#2)
• Steam Card: Jackass Plumber (#3)
• Steam Card: Meteoid (#1)
• Steam Card: Meteoid (#2)
• Steam Card: Meteoid (#3)
• Steam Card: Space Trip (#1)
• Steam Card: Space Trip (#2)
• Steam Card: Space Trip (#3)
• Steamboat
• Stembridge sidearm
• Stemonitis Staticus mushroom
• Stephen's lab coat
• Stephen's secret formula
• Stick-Knife of Loathing
• Stone Golem pebbles
• Stooper
• Straypler
• Strikes Again Bigmouth
• Strix stix
• Strong, Silent Type
• Stupid University Diploma
• Suffering Sinner
• Super Crimboman Ultra Mega Hypersword
• Super Weight-Gain 9000
• Superdrifter holo-record
• Superhero Reboots
• Suppurating Sinner
• Swedish coffee
• Swedish massage fish
• Swizzler
• Sword of Dark Omens
• Sword of Procedural Generation
• Sword of the Brouhaha Prince
• T.U.R.D.S. Key
• TI-9000 calculator
• TRIO cup of beer
• Taco Dan's Basic Taco Dan Taco
• Taco Dan's Super Taco-Riffic Taco Sauce!
• Taco Dan's Taco Fish Fish Taco
• Taco Dan's Taco Stand Chillacious Churro
• Taco Dan's Taco Stand Chimichangarita
• Taco Dan's Taco Stand Flier
• Taco Dan's Taco Stand Taco
• Take Eleven Bar
• TakerSpace letter of Marque
• Tales of Dread
• Tales of Spelunking
• Tales of Western Braggadoccio
• Tales of a Kansas Toymaker (used)
• Tales of the Word Realms
• Talisman of Baio
• Tallowcreme Halloween Pumpkin
• Tapioc berry
• Tea, Earl Grey, Hot
• Tears of the Quiet Healer
• Telltale™ rubber heart
• Temporal Tempera Tube
• Tesla's Electroplated Beans
• Texas tea
• Thanksgiving ration
• That 70s Cologne
• The Art of Slapfighting (used)
• The Author's ink
• The Author's inkwell
• The Ballad of Richie Thingfinder
• The Beast Within™ candle
• The Big Book of Communism
• The Big Book of Communism (used)
• The Big Book of Every Skill
• The Bomb
• The Chill of the Wild
• The Cocktail Shaker
• The Confiscator's Grimoire
• The Crown of Ed the Undying
• The Emperor's dry cleaning
• The Emperor's new cookie
• The Emperor's new hat
• The Emperor's new pants
• The Emperor's new shirt
• The Encyclopedia of Fruit
• The Encyclopedia of Fruit (used)
• The Eye of the Thing in the Basement
• The Fingernail of the Thing in the Basement
• The Firegate Tapes
• The Fun-Guy Cold Weather Bartender's Guide
• The Ghoul King's ghoulottes
• The Gingerbread Vigilante's Handbook
• The Groose in the Hoose
• The Imploded World
• The Inquisitor's unidentifiable object
• The Jokester's gun
• The Jokester's pants
• The Jokester's wig
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 1
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 1 (used)
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 2
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 2 (used)
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 3
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 3 (used)
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 4
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 4 (used)
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 5
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 5 (used)
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 6
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 6 (used)
• The Joy of Wassailing (used)
• The Kloop in the Coop
• The Legendary Beat
• The Lost Comb
• The Lost Glasses
• The Lost Pill Bottle
• The Lot's engagement ring
• The Mad Liquor
• The Mariachi's guitar case
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 1
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 1 (used)
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 2
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 2 (used)
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 3
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 3 (used)
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 4
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 4 (used)
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 5
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 5 (used)
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 6
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 6 (used)
• The Nose Knows, A Guide to Smells
• The Nose Knows, A Guide to Smells (read)
• The Nuge's favorite crossbow
• The One Mood Ring
• The Pigs holo-record
• The Plumber's mushroom stew
• The Sagittarian's leisure pants
• The Six-Pack of Pain
• The Smith's Tome
• The Snitch's Manifesto
• The Spirit of Giving
• The Spirit of Giving (used)
• The Superconductor's CPU
• The Sword in the Steak
• The Thorax's Codex of Tormenting Plants
• The Western Look
• They liver
• They liver popsicle
• They'll Love You In Rhinestones
• Thinknerd Blind-Packed Toy
• Thinknerd T-Shirt
• Thinknerd T-shirt grab bag
• Thinknerd's Grimoire of Geeky Gifts
• Third Base
• Third Eye
• This Charming Flan
• Thor's Pliers
• Three Mile Island shorts
• Thriller Ice
• Thunkula's drinking cap
• Thwaitgold Goliath beetle statuette
• Thwaitgold Illinigina illinoiensis model
• Thwaitgold amoeba statuette
• Thwaitgold ant statuette
• Thwaitgold anti-moth statuette
• Thwaitgold bee statuette
• Thwaitgold bombardier beetle statuette
• Thwaitgold bookworm statuette
• Thwaitgold bug statuette
• Thwaitgold butterfly statuette
• Thwaitgold buzzy beetle statuette
• Thwaitgold caterpillar statuette
• Thwaitgold chigger statuette
• Thwaitgold cockroach statuette
• Thwaitgold dragonfly statuette
• Thwaitgold fairyfly statue
• Thwaitgold fire beetle statuette
• Thwaitgold firefly statuette
• Thwaitgold grasshopper statuette
• Thwaitgold harvestman statuette
• Thwaitgold keyhole spider statuette
• Thwaitgold listening bug statuette
• Thwaitgold maggot statuette
• Thwaitgold masked hunter statuette
• Thwaitgold metabug statuette
• Thwaitgold mosquito statuette
• Thwaitgold mosquito-in-amber statuette
• Thwaitgold moth statuette
• Thwaitgold nit statuette
• Thwaitgold nymph statuette
• Thwaitgold praying mantis statuette
• Thwaitgold protozoa statuette
• Thwaitgold quantum bug statuette
• Thwaitgold scarab beetle statuette
• Thwaitgold scorpion statuette
• Thwaitgold shield bug statuette
• Thwaitgold slug statuette
• Thwaitgold spider statuette
• Thwaitgold splendor beetle statuette
• Thwaitgold stag beetle statuette
• Thwaitgold termite statuette
• Thwaitgold time fly statuette
• Thwaitgold wheel bug statuette
• Thwaitgold wolf spider statuette
• Thwaitgold woollybear statuette
• Time Bandit Badge of Courage
• Time Bandit Time Towel
• Time Cape
• Time Cloak
• Time Juice
• Time Lord Badge of Honor
• Time Lord Participation Mug
• Time-Spinner
• To Build an Igloo
• Toddler-sized Dragon Costume
• Tome of Rad Libs
• Tome of Snowcone Summoning
• Tome of Sugar Shummoning
• Too Cold to Hold: How to Be Cool - A Memoir
• Too Cold to Hold: How to Be Cool - A Memoir (read)
• Toot Oriole care package
• Totally Gay Claymore
• Trader Olaf's Exotic Stinkbeans
• Trafikoan
• Trainbot autoassembly module
• Trainbot circuitry
• Trainbot harness
• Trainbot linkages
• Trainbot luggage hook
• Trainbot optics
• Trainbot plating
• Trainbot radar monocle
• Trainbot servomotors
• Trainbot slag
• Trainbot tubing
• Transylvania Sling
• Trash, a Memoir
• Treads of Loathing
• Tremella Tarantella mushroom
• Trout Fishing in Loathing
• Truthsayer
• Turpin
• Turtive
• Turtle Bowl
• Twelve Night Energy
• Twitching Television Tattoo
• UV monocular
• Ultimate Mind Destroyer
• Ultra Mega Sour Ball
• Ultrasoldier Serum
• Unagnimated Gnome
• Uncle Buck
• Uncle Crimbo's Sack
• Uncle Crimbo's hat
• Uncle Hobo's belt
• Uncle Hobo's epic beard
• Uncle Hobo's fingerless tinsel gloves
• Uncle Hobo's gift baggy pants
• Uncle Hobo's highest bough
• Uncle Hobo's stocking cap
• Uncle Romulus (used)
• Unconscious Collective Dream Jar
• Underworld acorn
• Underworld trunk
• Unfortunato's foolscap
• Ungulant
• Universal Seasoning
• Unkillable Skeleton's breastplate
• Unkillable Skeleton's restless leg
• Unkillable Skeleton's sawsword
• Unkillable Skeleton's shield
• Unkillable Skeleton's shinguards
• Unkillable Skeleton's skullcap
• Unmotivator: Crashed Meat Car
• Unmotivator: Crashed Orca
• Unmotivator: Success Warrior
• Unopened Eight Days a Week Pill Keeper
• Unspeakachu
• Uovo Marcio Shiraz
• Uranium Omega of Temperance
• V for Vivala mask
• VYKEA blood rune
• VYKEA bracket
• VYKEA dowel
• VYKEA frenzy rune
• VYKEA hex key
• VYKEA instructions
• VYKEA lightning rune
• VYKEA mead
• VYKEA meatballs
• VYKEA plank
• VYKEA rail
• VYKEA woadpaint
• Val-U Brand Every Bean Salad
• Vamprey
• Vaporpoise
• Vegetable of Jarlsberg
• Velougats™
• Velvet Veil
• Venus flytrap
• Vicar's Tutu
• Victor's Spoils
• Vivian's Vitamin
• Volartta's bellbottoms
• Volcoino
• Voluminous Radio Hat
• Voluminous Radio Pants
• Voluminous Radio Sneakers
• Vulgure
• Waifuton
• Wal-Mart "diamond" ring
• Wal-Mart gift certificate
• Wal-Mart nametag
• Wal-Mart overalls
• Wal-Mart snowglobe
• Wal-Mart tattoo kit
• Wand of Oscus
• Warehouse 23 bling
• Warehouse 23 crate
• Warms-Your-Tush
• Wart Dinsey: An Afterlife
• Wax Flask
• Way More Tears™ pepper spray
• Wendtigo
• Western Slang Vol. 1: Violence
• Western Slang Vol. 2: Cooking
• Western Slang Vol. 3: Fraud
• Wet Russian
• Whatsian Ionic Pliers
• Whenchamacallit bar
• White Chocolate Golem Seeds
• White Dragon Fang
• Whoompa Fur Pants
• Wickers bar
• Witchess Set
• Work is a Four Letter Sword
• World's Blackest-Eyed Peas
• Wrecked Generator
• Wrotz
• Wullabye
• X
• X-32-F snowman crate
• Xi Receiver Unit
• Xiblaxian 5D printer
• Xiblaxian alloy
• Xiblaxian cache locator simcode
• Xiblaxian circuitry
• Xiblaxian crystal
• Xiblaxian direct marketing simcode
• Xiblaxian encrypted political prisoner
• Xiblaxian holo-bowtie
• Xiblaxian holo-buddy simcode
• Xiblaxian holo-schematic: residence cube
• Xiblaxian holo-schematic: space whiskey
• Xiblaxian holo-schematic: stealth cowl
• Xiblaxian holo-schematic: stealth trousers
• Xiblaxian holo-schematic: stealth vest
• Xiblaxian holo-schematic: ultraburrito
• Xiblaxian holo-schematic: xeno-goggles
• Xiblaxian holo-training simcode
• Xiblaxian holo-wrist-puter
• Xiblaxian holo-wrist-puter simcode
• Xiblaxian polymer
• Xiblaxian residence-cube
• Xiblaxian space-whiskey
• Xiblaxian stealth cowl
• Xiblaxian stealth trousers
• Xiblaxian stealth vest
• Xiblaxian ultraburrito
• Xiblaxian xeno-detection goggles
• Xlyinia's notebook
• Yakisoba's hat
• Ye Olde Bawdy Limerick
• Ye Olde Meade
• Ye Olde Medieval Insult
• Yeast of Boris
• Yeg's Motel alarm clock
• Yeg's Motel ashtray
• Yeg's Motel disposable razor
• Yeg's Motel hand soap
• Yeg's Motel minibar key
• Yeg's Motel mouthwash
• Yeg's Motel pillow mint
• Yeg's Motel sewing kit
• Yeg's Motel stationery
• Yeg's Motel toothbrush
• Yellow Moon of Compassion
• Yeti Protest Sign
• Yolo™ chocolates
• Yorick
• Young Man's Cargo Load
• Young Man's Crew Sequester
• Yuleviathan necklace
• Z-Bone steak
• Ze™ goggles
• Zinc Delta of Tranquility
• Zombo's empty eye
• Zombo's grievous greaves
• Zombo's shield
• Zombo's shoulder blade
• Zombo's skull ring
• Zombo's skullcap
• Zoodriver
• [glitch season reward name]
• [reuse me]
• a bug's lymph
• a cute angel
• a suspicious address
• absentee voter ballot
• abstraction: action
• abstraction: category
• abstraction: certainty
• abstraction: comprehension
• abstraction: joy
• abstraction: motion
• abstraction: perception
• abstraction: purpose
• abstraction: sensation
• abstraction: thought
• abyssal battle plans
• acceptable bagel
• acceptable mayolus
• accidental mutton
• accord ion
• accordion file
• accordionoid rocca
• actual blood sausage
• actual reality goggles
• actual tapas
• adder
• adobe abacus
• adobe abaya
• adobe adze
• adobe arsecover
• adobe ascot
• adobe assortment
• adobe ayam
• adobe brittle
• adorable seal larva
• adventurer clone egg
• aerated diving helmet
• aerogel accordion
• aerogel akubra
• aerogel anvil
• aerogel apron
• aerogel ascot
• aerogel attache case
• aerosolized aerogel
• agnolotti arboli
• airblaster gun
• airborne mutagen
• airplane charter: Conspiracy Island
• airplane charter: Dinseylandfill
• airplane charter: Spring Break Beach
• airplane charter: That 70s Volcano
• airplane charter: The Glaciest
• airplane tattoo
• alabaster bishop
• alabaster king
• alabaster knight
• alabaster pawn
• alabaster queen
• alabaster rook
• alarm accordion
• alien animal goo
• alien animal milk
• alien autoautopsy kit
• alien drugs
• alien force field disruptor bean
• alien gemstone
• alien hologram projector
• alien meat
• alien plant fibers
• alien plant goo
• alien plant pod
• alien plant sample
• alien protein powder
• alien rock sample
• alien sandwich
• alien source code printout
• alien source code printout (used)
• alien toenails
• alien zoological sample
• all-purpose flower
• almost-dead walkie-talkie
• alpine watercolor set
• amok pudding
• amok putter
• anchor bomb
• ancient Elf dessert spoon
• ancient calendar
• ancient calendar fragment
• ancient hot dog wrapper
• ancient ice cream scoop
• ancient meat
• ancient medicinal herbs
• ancient oil painting of yourself
• ancient pills
• ancient poisoned dart
• ancient redwood
• anemone sauce
• anemoney clip
• angel-food cake
• anger blaster
• angry agate
• angry inch
• angst burger
• animal part cracker
• anise-flavored venom
• ankleweights
• annealed drippy orb
• anniversary balsa wood socks
• anniversary burlap belt
• anniversary pewter cape
• anniversary tiny latex mask
• anti-burn cream
• anti-creep cream
• anti-freeze cream
• anti-goosebump cream
• anti-odor cream
• anti-pain cream
• antimatter wad
• antique Canadian lantern
• antique accordion
• antique beer
• antique machete
• antique nutcracker beard
• antique nutcracker boots
• antique nutcracker cape
• antique nutcracker drumstick
• antique nutcracker epaulets
• antique nutcracker figurine
• antique nutcracker hat
• antique nutcracker pants
• antique nutcracker sword
• antique nutcracker waistcoat
• antique spyglass
• antique tacklebox
• apathetic lizardman doll
• aquamariner's necklace
• aquamariner's ring
• arcanoferric housing
• archaeologing shovel
• arm buzzer
• armored prawn
• arse-shooting crossbow
• artisanal hand-squeezed wheatgrass juice
• artisanal homebrew gift package
• artisanal homebrew sampler
• artisanal limoncello
• asbestos thermos
• ash soda
• assassin's cheese knife
• asteroid belt
• astral badger
• astronaut ice-cream
• attorney's badge
• augmented El Vibrato drone
• augmented-reality shades
• august scepter
• autocalliope
• automa-bot parts
• automatic wine thief
• autumn breeze
• autumn dollar
• autumn leaf
• autumn years wisdom
• autumn-spice donut
• autumnal aegis
• autumnic balm
• autumnic bomb
• auxiliary backbone
• avatar of the Unconscious Collective
• aviator goggles
• baby bark scorpion
• baby camelCalf
• baby chest mimic
• baby oil shooter
• baby rigging snake
• babycakes
• backup camera
• backwoods banjo
• backwoods screwdriver
• bacon bath ball
• baconstone-handled sixgun
• bacteria bisque
• bad rum and good cola
• bad vibroknife
• bad-ass club
• badge of authority
• bag of GORF
• bag of GORP
• bag of Iunion stones
• bag of QWOP
• bag of W&Ws
• bag of foreign bribes
• bag of grain
• bag of gross foreign snacks
• bag of park garbage
• bag of pygmy blood
• bag of random words
• bag of sausage links
• bag of unfinished business
• bagged Cargo Cultist Shorts
• bagged stuffed "L"
• baggie of regular-sized tardigrades
• baked stuffing
• baked veggie ricotta casserole
• bakelite backpack
• bakelite badge
• bakelite belt
• bakelite bits
• bakelite bowl
• bakelite breeches
• bakelite brooch
• bakelite-covered bacon
• balanced antler
• ballast turtle
• ballpark hot daub
• baloney rotgut
• balsa plank
• balsam barrel
• banana candle
• banana split
• banana-frosted king cake
• bananarama bangle
• baneful bandolier
• banjo kazoo mount
• baobab sap
• bar of freeze-dried water
• baritone accordion
• bark rootbeer
• barnacle-encrusted sweater
• barnacled barrel
• barrel beryl
• barrel beryl choker
• barrel beryl nose ring
• barrel beryl ring
• barrel cracker
• barrel gun
• barrel pickle
• barrel-aged eggnog
• barrel-aged martini
• barrelhead
• basaltamander buckler
• basaltamander tongue
• basic martini
• basking robin
• bastard baster
• bat wings
• batarang
• batskin belt
• battered old top-hat
• battery (9-Volt)
• battery (AA)
• battery (AAA)
• battery (D)
• battery (car)
• battery (lantern)
• battery-powered drill
• battoo kit
• bauxite beret
• bauxite bow-tie
• bauxite boxers
• bazooka cozy
• bear claw
• beard incense
• beautiful rainbow
• beautiful soup
• beaver punch (cherry)
• beaver punch (papaya)
• beaver punch (peach)
• beaver spear
• beavermouth
• beefy pill
• beer-battered accordion
• beer-scented teddy bear
• beery blood
• beet
• beet-flavored Mr. Mediocrebar
• beetle antenna
• beggin' cologne
• bejazzled eyepatch
• bellhop's hat
• belt of Ogrekind
• bent scrap metal
• best joke ever
• bewitching boots
• big dribbly candle
• big glob of skin
• big hot pepper
• big ol' trophy
• big red button
• big tun
• biker's hat
• bindle of joy
• birdbone corset
• birdybug antenna
• birthday candle
• birthday party jellybean cheesecake
• bitter bowtie
• black Crimbo ball
• black and white cracker
• black blade
• black brandy
• black candygram
• black cloak
• black eye shadow
• black friar's tonsure
• black gallstone
• black gold
• black label
• black lotus
• black magic powder
• black mana
• black slime glob
• black tear
• black velvet box
• blank diary
• blank note
• blank white card
• blessed rustproof +2 gray dragon scale mail
• blind-packed capsule toy
• blind-packed die-cast metal toy
• blob of Alphredo™
• blob of acid
• blob of wood glue
• blood and blood
• blood kiwi
• blood roll-up
• blood sausage
• blood snowcone
• blood-drive sticker
• blood-red mushroom wine
• blood-soaked sponge cake
• bloodied surgical dungarees
• bloodstain stick
• bloodstick
• bloody kiwitini
• blowdart
• blown-out speaker cone
• blue LavaCo Lamp™
• blue canary nightlight
• blue glowstick
• blue grass
• blue lava globs
• blue mana
• blue money bag
• blue oyster badge
• blue plate
• blue potion
• blue pumps
• blue ribbon
• blue rocket
• blue traffic cone
• blue tulip
• blue velvet cake
• blueberry muffin
• blueberry-frosted king cake
• body spradium
• bodyguard badge
• bodyslam
• boilgun
• boiling broth
• boiling hot cocoa
• boiling seal blood
• bolder boulder
• bomb of unknown origin
• bone abacus
• bone bandoneon
• bone bons
• bone broth
• bone flour
• bonsai tree
• booby trap
• book of facts
• book of facts (dog-eared)
• book of matches
• boot flask
• boot knife
• boot plant
• booze bindle
• booze drive button
• booze mailing list
• booze-soaked cherry
• bottle of Amontillado
• bottle of Bloodweiser
• bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon
• bottle of Crème de Fugu
• bottle of Crimbognac
• bottle of Evermore
• bottle of Fishhead 900-Day IPA
• bottle of Goldschnöckered
• bottle of Greedy Dog
• bottle of Lambada Lambic
• bottle of Old Pugilist
• bottle of Professor Beer
• bottle of Race Car Red
• bottle of Rapier Witbier
• bottle of Red-Out
• bottle of Sanguiovese
• bottle of anís
• bottle of clam juice
• bottle of dark rhum
• bottle of drinkin' gas
• bottle of extra-dark rhum
• bottle of fire
• bottle of fruity "wine"
• bottle of goofballs
• bottle of gregnadigne
• bottle of laundry sherry
• bottle of lighter fluid
• bottle of limeade
• bottle of lovebug pheromones
• bottle of norwhiskey
• bottle of novelty hot sauce
• bottle of sea wine
• bottle of super-extra-dark rhum
• bottle of wine
• bottle-rocket crossbow
• bottled Vampire Vintner
• bottled day
• bottled green pixie
• bottled swamp gas
• bottoms of the barrel
• bounty-hunting helmet
• bounty-hunting pants
• bowl full of jelly
• bowl of Jeal-O
• bowl of Tastee-Wheet™
• bowl of eyeballs
• bowl of maggots
• bowl of marinade
• bowl of mernudo
• bowl of mummy guts
• bowl of oriole's nest soup
• bowl of petunias
• bowl of prescription candy
• bowl of topioca
• bowling ball
• box o' ghosts
• box of Dweebs
• box of Gratitude chocolates
• box of bear arms
• box of hickory chips
• box of sunshine
• boxcar turtle
• boxed Apriling band helmet
• boxed Mayam Calendar
• boxed Sept-Ember Censer
• boxed august scepter
• boxed autumn-aton
• boxed bat wings
• boxed gumball machine
• brain preservation fluid
• brainwave-controlled unicorn horn
• bran muffin
• brass Dreadsylvanian flask
• brass abacus
• brass bung spigot
• brass gear
• brass turkey knuckles
• brazen bracelet
• bread basket
• bread line
• bread man
• bread mold
• bread pie
• bread roll
• breadchucks
• breadwand
• breakfast mess
• breakfast miracle
• briefcase full of sprinkles
• brigand brittle
• brilliant oyster egg
• broberry brogurt
• brocolate brogurt
• broken El Vibrato drone
• broken beer bottle
• broken chocolate pocketwatch
• broken high-temperature mining drill
• broken warbear gyrocopter
• bronze
• bronze polish
• brown felt tophat
• brown paper bag mask
• brown paper pants
• brown pirate pants
• browser cookie
• buñuelos Jaliscos
• bubble-wrap simulator
• bubble-wrap simulator (half broken)
• bubble-wrap simulator (one broken button)
• bubble-wrap simulator (one button left)
• bubblegum heart
• bubblin' chemistry solution
• bubblin' crude
• bucket of ancient Vampyre blood
• bucket of anniversary lard
• bucket of fish juice
• buffalo dime
• buffed alien drugs
• bug juice
• bugbear detector
• bugbear purification pill
• bugbear-smiting sword
• bulky free-range mushroom
• bull blubber
• bullet necklace
• bunch of sea grapes
• bundle of "fragrant" herbs
• bundle of firewood
• burglar/sleep mask
• burning newspaper
• burnt snowpants
• burnt stick
• burrowgrub hive
• burst hellseal brain
• butterfly knife
• button rouge
• buzzard feather
• buzzing mushroom wine
• cabbage-flavored Mr. Mediocrebar
• cabooze
• calm attention-deficit demon
• camouflage T-shirt
• campfire baked potato
• campfire beans
• campfire coffee
• campfire hot dog
• campfire s'more
• campfire smoke
• campfire stew
• can of Adultwitch™
• can of Brütalbräu
• can of Drooling Monk
• can of Impetuous Scofflaw
• can of Minions-Be-Gone
• can of V-11
• can of cherry-flavored sterno
• can of drain cleaner
• can of mixed everything
• can of sardines
• can of the cheapest beer
• can opener
• can-you-dig-it?
• candied almond
• candied beef and cabbage
• candied bolts
• candied lime
• candied nuts
• candied pecan
• candied sweet potatoes
• candy UFOs
• candy cane candygram
• candy cane sword cane
• candy carrot
• candy carrot cake
• candy chalk
• candy cigarette
• candy crayons
• candy dog collar
• candy dress shoes
• candy drive button
• candy egg deviler
• candy harmonica
• candy knife
• candy mailing list
• candy mountain oyster
• candy necktie
• candy rations
• candy stick
• candycaine powder
• cannonbomb
• canteen of eggnog
• canteen of jungle juice
• cap gun
• capped blue lava bottle
• capped green lava bottle
• capped red lava bottle
• captured boozles
• carbonite visor
• carnivorous potted plant
• carrot cake
• carrot cake precipice bar
• carrot claret
• carrot juice
• carrot nose
• carrot-on-a-stick
• carton of gaspers
• carton of rotten eggs
• carton of snake milk
• cartoon harpoon
• cartoon heart
• cashew
• cat o' nine teeth
• catfish whiskers
• caustic slime nodule
• celestial au jus
• celestial carrot juice
• celestial olive oil
• celestial squid ink
• cement shoes
• censored can label
• centurion helmet
• ceramic celery grater
• ceramic celsiturometer
• ceramic cenobite's robe
• ceramic centurion shield
• ceramic cerecloth belt
• ceramic cestus
• ceramic scree
• chakra malt
• chakra sludge
• chakra-mental wine
• chalk chain
• chalk chalice
• chalk chapeau
• chalk chinos
• chalk chlamys
• chalk choker
• chalk chunks
• charisma potion
• cheap Chinese beer
• cheap clip-on ninja tie
• cheap sunglasses
• cheap wind-up clock
• cheer extractor
• cheer-o-gram
• cheerful Crimbo sweater
• cheerful antler hat
• cheerful pajama pants
• cheesy eagle sauce
• cherry bomb
• chest barrel
• chest of "pirate gold"
• chewable paper
• chicle de salchicha
• chiffon carbage
• chiffon chakram
• chiffon chamberpot
• chiffon chapeau
• chiffon chaps
• chiffon chemise
• chiffon chevrons
• chiffon lemon
• child-sized dracula cloak
• chili powder cutlass
• chipotle wasabi cilantro aioli
• chitin powder
• chitin powder paste
• chlorine crystal
• choco-Crimbot
• chocolate "Phoenix"
• chocolate Ogre Chieftain
• chocolate Spider Queen
• chocolate bath ball
• chocolate bowtie
• chocolate box
• chocolate chip muffin
• chocolate covered ping-pong ball
• chocolate cow bone
• chocolate frosted sugar bomb
• chocolate leash
• chocolate ostrich egg
• chocolate pocketwatch
• chocolate puppy
• chocolate rabbit's foot
• chocolate-covered loofah
• chocolate-frosted king cake
• chocolate-stained collar
• chocomotive
• chocotini
• chunk of hot iron
• cigar box turtle
• cigarette lighter
• ciliophora chowder
• cinnamon cannoli
• cinnamon machine oil
• circle drum
• clan underground fireworks shop
• class five ecto-larva
• classy monkey
• claw-held flag
• clear Russian
• clerical automa-core
• clingfilm cap
• clingfilm slippers
• clingfilm tangle
• clingfilm trousers
• cloning kit
• closed-circuit pay phone
• closed-circuit phone system
• clove-flavored lip balm
• clovermint
• club of corruption
• club sandwich
• clumsiness bark
• cluster of hops
• clutch of dodecapede eggs
• coal contact lenses
• coal dust
• coal paperweight
• coal shovel
• coal snakeskin
• coarse hemp socks
• cocktail mushroom
• cocoa chondrule
• cocoa of youth
• cod cape
• coffee sprite
• cold cluster
• cold clusterbomb
• cold jelly
• cold mashed potatoes
• cold medicine cabinet
• cold seal sweat
• cold water bottle
• colorful toad
• colossal free-range mushroom
• comb jelly
• combat fan
• combat lover's locket
• combat lover's locket lockbox
• comfy blanket
• comfy pillow
• communal gobstopper
• complex alien plant sample
• complex alien zoological sample
• complex mushroom wine
• complicated device
• complicated lock impression
• compounded experience
• compressed air canister
• compression stocking
• concentrated cooking
• concentrated fish broth
• coney haunch
• confiscated cell phone
• confiscated comic book
• confiscated love note
• confusing LED clock
• congratulatory cake
• conjured ice cream
• conquistador's breastplate
• consolation ribbon
• contract enforcement stick
• cookbookbat book
• cookie cookie
• cool hot cocoa
• cool iron breastplate
• cool iron greaves
• cool iron helmet
• cool iron ingot
• cool mint precipice bar
• cool spore pod
• cooling iron breastplate
• cooling iron greaves
• cooling iron helmet
• cop dollar
• coping juice
• corked genie bottle
• corned beet
• corned-beef Reuben
• cornucopia
• correction fluid
• corrupt club of corrupt corruption
• corrupt club of corruption
• corrupted bird DNA
• corrupted marrow
• corrupted stardust
• cosmetic football
• cosmic bucket
• costume rental shop
• counterfeit city
• cow poker
• cozy bazooka
• cozy scarf
• cozy scimitar
• crêepy mask
• crabsicle
• cranberry cylinder
• cranberry margarita (brackish)
• crappy Mer-kin mask
• crappy Mer-kin tailpiece
• crappy brain
• crappy camera
• crappy waiter disguise
• crate of firebombs
• crate of fish meat
• crated wardrobe-o-matic
• crayon shavings
• crazy hobo notebook
• cream of chloroplasts
• creepy doll head
• creepy ginger ale
• creepy nursery rhyme
• creepy voice box
• creepy-ass club
• crident
• crimbo elfling
• crotchety pants
• crude crudités
• crude oil congealer
• crude voodoo doll
• crudles
• crumbling rat skull
• crumpled felt fedora
• crunchy brush
• crushed steamer trunk
• cryptic puzzle box
• crystal Crimbo goblet
• crystal Crimbo platter
• crystal belt buckle
• crystal decanter
• crystal skeleton vodka
• crystalline cheer
• crystalline light bulb
• crystalline reamer
• crystalline seal eye
• crystallized pumpkin spice
• cube of ectoplasm
• cubic zirconia
• cuckoo clock
• cuddly teddy bear
• cup of "tea"
• cup of hickory chicory
• cup of lukewarm tea
• cuppa Activi tea
• cuppa Alacri tea
• cuppa Boo tea
• cuppa Chari tea
• cuppa Craft tea
• cuppa Cruel tea
• cuppa Dexteri tea
• cuppa Feroci tea
• cuppa Flamibili tea
• cuppa Flexibili tea
• cuppa Frost tea
• cuppa Gill tea
• cuppa Impregnabili tea
• cuppa Improprie tea
• cuppa Insani tea
• cuppa Irritabili tea
• cuppa Loyal tea
• cuppa Mana tea
• cuppa Mediocri tea
• cuppa Monstrosi tea
• cuppa Morbidi tea
• cuppa Nas tea
• cuppa Net tea
• cuppa Neuroplastici tea
• cuppa Obscuri tea
• cuppa Physicali tea
• cuppa Proprie tea
• cuppa Royal tea
• cuppa Serendipi tea
• cuppa Sobrie tea
• cuppa Toast tea
• cuppa Twen tea
• cuppa Uncertain tea
• cuppa Vitali tea
• cuppa Voraci tea
• cuppa Wit tea
• cuppa Yet tea
• cursed Aztec tamale
• cursed breeches
• cursed chocolate doubloon
• cursed cutlass
• cursed eyepatch
• cursed magnifying glass
• cursed microwave
• cursed monkey glove
• cursed monkey's paw
• cursed pirate cutlass
• cursed pony keg
• cursed ring finger ring
• cursed swash buckle
• cursed tricorn hat
• cursed wishbone
• custard pie
• custom sixgun
• cute bow from beyond the stars
• cute meteoroid
• cute mushroom
• cyan seashell
• cylindrical mold
• daddy shortlegs leg
• daily dungeon malware
• daisy
• damp bar rag
• damp old wallet
• dancing fan
• dandy lion cub
• dark baconstone ring
• dark chocolate egg
• dark hamethyst ring
• dark porquoise ring
• daub-breaker
• day shortener
• deactivated RoboGoose
• deactivated mini-Trainbot
• deactivated nanobots
• deactivated putty buddy
• dead meat bun
• deadfall branch
• deadly nightshade
• deanimated reanimator's coffin
• death blossom
• debonair deboner
• decent brain
• deck of lewd playing cards
• decomposed boot
• deed to Oliver's Place
• deep six-shooter
• defective Game Grid token
• defective Golden Mr. Accessory
• delectable catalyst
• delicious candy
• delicious star salad
• delicious swamp muck
• deluxe Neverending Party favor
• deluxe layer cake
• demon makeup kit
• demonic cow's blood
• demonic surgical gloves
• denastified haunch
• denim jacket
• dense meat stack
• dented spoon
• depleted Crimbonium football helmet
• depleted uranium seal figurine
• designer sweatpants
• designer sweatpants (new old stock)
• desktop zen garden
• detective roscoe
• detective school application
• detective tattoo
• detour shield
• devil hair pasta
• devil's-food cake
• devil-summoning hat
• deviled candy egg
• deviled egg
• devilish folio
• diabolic pizza cube
• diabolical crossbow
• diamondback skin
• dice belt buckle
• dice ring
• dice sunglasses
• dice-print do-rag
• dice-print pajama pants
• dice-shaped backpack
• dieting pill
• dilapidated wizard hat
• diluted makeup
• dinged-up triangle
• dinner roll
• dirt julep
• dirty bottlecap
• dirty martini
• dirty rigging rope
• discarded button
• discarded swimming trunks
• disco biscuit
• disco horoscope (Aquarius)
• disco horoscope (Aries)
• disco horoscope (Cancer)
• disco horoscope (Capricorn)
• disco horoscope (Gemini)
• disco horoscope (Leo)
• disco horoscope (Libra)
• disco horoscope (Pisces)
• disco horoscope (Sagittarius)
• disco horoscope (Scorpio)
• disco horoscope (Taurus)
• disco horoscope (Virgo)
• discocktail
• disconnected intergnat
• disintegrating barrel
• disposable instant camera
• disposable lighter
• distention pill
• distilled resin
• do-it-yourself laser eye surgery kit
• dog ointment
• doll-eye amulet
• dollar sign
• dollar-sign bag
• dollop of barbecue sauce
• donated booze
• donated candy
• donated food
• doppelshifter egg
• dorky glasses
• double barreled barrel gun
• double daisy
• double entendre
• double-candied yams
• doubt cannon
• dove DNA
• drafty drawers
• dread tarragon
• dreadful box
• dreadful fedora
• dreadful glove
• dreadful roast
• dreadful sweater
• dream of a dog
• dreaming Jung man
• dregs of a Crimbo cocktail
• dress pants
• dried gelatinous cube
• drink chit
• drinks tray
• drippy bezoar
• drippy bromide
• drippy candy bar
• drippy caviar
• drippy diadem
• drippy enzyme
• drippy flux
• drippy grub
• drippy ichor
• drippy khakis
• drippy nugget
• drippy orb
• drippy pigment
• drippy pilsner
• drippy plum(?)
• drippy salt
• drippy seed
• drippy shield
• drippy snail shell
• drippy staff
• drippy stake
• drippy stein
• drippy truncheon
• drive-by shooting
• drive-thru burger
• droll monocle
• dromedary drinking helmet
• drone self-destruct chip
• droopy doll eye
• drop of water-37
• droppable microphone
• dropped scrap of paper
• drug cocktail sauce
• druidic s'more
• drum of tommy ammo
• dry cleaning receipt
• dubious loincloth
• duct tape shirt
• dude ranch souvenir crate
• dumb mud
• dungeon dragon chest
• dungeoneering kit
• duonoculars
• dusty barrel
• dusty bottle of blood
• dwarvish war helmet
• dwarvish war kilt
• dwarvish war mattock
• eagle feather
• eagle's milk
• ear candle
• ear poison
• earthenware muffin tin
• eau de mort
• eaves droppers
• ectoplasm au jus
• ectoplasmic orbs
• edible alien plant bit
• eerie fetish
• eerily silent box
• egg gun
• eggman noodles
• eggwater
• eighth plague
• elbow soup
• eldritch alignment spray
• eldritch concentrate
• eldritch distillate
• eldritch dough
• eldritch effluvium
• eldritch elixir
• eldritch essence
• eldritch extract
• eldritch hammer
• eldritch hat
• eldritch ichor
• eldritch mushroom
• eldritch mushroom pizza
• eldritch oil
• eldritch pants
• eldritch rub
• eldritch scanner
• eldritch tincture
• eldritch tincture (depleted)
• electric Kool-Aid
• electric copperhead potion
• electric mushroom
• electric pants
• electric snakebite
• electrical thingamabob
• electrician's hardhat
• electronic Brain Trainer game
• electronic dulcimer pants
• electronics kit
• elegant nightstick
• elemental caipiroska
• elemental sugarcube
• eleven-foot pole
• elevenderizing hammer
• elevennis shoes
• elevent
• elf army field rations
• elf ploughshare
• elf sleeper agent
• elven medi-pack
• elven tambourine
• ember egg
• embering hunk
• embezzler's oil
• emergency glowstick
• emergency margarita
• emo roe
• emotion chip
• empty agua de vida bottle
• empty hourglass
• empty lava bottle
• enchanted fire extinguisher
• enchanted leopard-print barbell
• enchanted muesli
• energized spores
• enhanced signal receiver
• enticing mayolus
• envelope full of Meat
• epic cluster
• equal sign
• eraser nubbin
• ert grey goo ring
• etched hourglass
• eternal car battery
• eternal knot tattoo
• even more tinsel
• everfull glass
• evil noodles
• evil paper umbrella
• evil-ass club
• excitement pill
• exclusive club
• exclusive ultra-rare item
• executive mime flask
• exo-xo-skeleton-skeleton
• exotic jungle fruit
• exotic orchid
• exotic travel brochure
• expensive camera
• expensive champagne
• experimental carbon fiber pasta additive
• experimental serum G-9
• experimental serum P-00
• expired MRE
• exploding cigar
• exploding gum
• extra DNA
• extra ooze
• extra special Crimbo stocking
• extra time
• extra-flat panini
• extra-grubby grub
• extra-hard jawbreaker
• extra-strength goo
• extra-strength red potion
• extra-toasted half sandwich
• extremely confusing manual
• extremely slippery nipple
• extremely wet T-shirt
• eyebrow lifter
• fabric hardener
• fabric softener
• facsimile dictionary
• faded green protest sign
• faded red protest sign
• fake cocktail
• fake washboard
• familiar scrapbook
• fancy beer bottle
• fancy beer label
• fancy black tie
• fancy blue potion
• fancy calligraphy pen
• fancy chess set
• fancy chocolate sculpture
• fancy party pants
• fancy tin beer can
• fancy tophat
• fancy tuxedo pants
• fascinating alien plant sample
• fascinating alien zoological sample
• fat loot token
• fear condenser
• feathered headdress
• festive egg sac
• festive warbear bank
• fettucini épines Inconnu
• fettucini épines Inconnu recipe
• fetus-smashing club
• fiberglass fannypack
• fiberglass fedora
• fiberglass fetish
• fiberglass fibers
• fiberglass fingerguard
• fiberglass foil
• fiberglass frock
• fiberglass insulation
• fiery wing
• figurine of a charred seal
• figurine of a cold seal
• figurine of a cute baby seal
• figurine of a shadowy seal
• figurine of a sleek seal
• figurine of a slippery seal
• figurine of a stinking seal
• figurine of a wretched-looking seal
• figurine of an ancient seal
• figurine of an armored seal
• filet of The Fish
• filled mosquito
• filthy armor
• filthy child leash
• filthy monkey head
• fine aged cheddarwurst
• finger exerciser
• fire ant pheromones
• fire axe
• fire crackers
• fire hose
• fire of unknown origin
• fire-roasted lake trout
• fireball
• firebomb
• fireclutch
• fireman's helmet
• fireman's lunch
• firemilk
• fireproof megaphone
• fireproof skip lid
• first-aid pouch
• fish head
• fish juice box
• fish sauce
• fish stick cozy
• fishbone belt
• fishbone bracers
• fishbone catcher's mitt
• fishbone corset
• fishbone facemask
• fishbone fins
• fishbone kneepads
• fishcake
• fishelada
• fishin' hat
• fishy pipe
• fist turkey outline
• fistful of ashes
• fistful of wood shavings
• fitness wristband
• five-fingered fern resin
• fixodent
• fizzing spore pod
• flagellate flagon
• flagellate soup
• flagstone fez
• flagstone flag
• flagstone flagments
• flagstone flail
• flagstone fleece
• flagstone flip-flops
• flagstone fringe
• flame orb
• flaming familiar doppelgänger
• flaming juggler's balls
• flaming leaf crown
• flaming nose
• flaming pink shirt
• flaming sword
• flan del mar
• flapper floppers
• flapper fly
• flashing novelty button
• flashy pirate dreadlocks
• flask flops
• flask of egggrog
• flask of embalming fluid
• flask of mining oil
• flask of moonshine
• flask of port
• flask of rainwater
• flask of tainted mining oil
• flat cider
• flavorless gruel
• flayed mind
• fleetwood chain
• fleetwood mac 'n' cheese
• fleetwood macaroni
• fleshy lump
• fleshy putty
• flickering pixel
• flimsy hardwood scraps
• floral-print skirt
• flour cookie
• flyest of shirts
• foam commodore's hat
• foam naval trousers
• foam pistol
• foetid seal tear
• folder (D-Team)
• folder (Ex-Files)
• folder (Jackass Plumber)
• folder (KOLHS)
• folder (Knight Writer)
• folder (Seawolf)
• folder (Stinky Trash Kid)
• folder (Yedi)
• folder (barbarian)
• folder (blue)
• folder (catfish)
• folder (cyan)
• folder (dancing dolphins)
• folder (green)
• folder (heavy metal)
• folder (holographic fractal)
• folder (magenta)
• folder (owl)
• folder (rainbow unicorn)
• folder (red)
• folder (skull and crossbones)
• folder (smiley face)
• folder (space skeleton)
• folder (sports car)
• folder (sportsballs)
• folder (tranquil landscape)
• folder (wizard)
• folder (yellow)
• food drive button
• food mailing list
• foot-long hot daub
• forbidden sausage
• foreign box
• forest canopy bed
• forest spirit rattle
• fortifying hot cocoa
• fossilized necklace
• fountain 'soda'
• four-leaf potato sprout
• fragile Christmas ornament
• fragment of Jarlsberg's soul
• frankincenser
• free boots
• free-range mushroom
• freezer-burned frost-bitten tortellini
• freightcake
• french-fry grabber
• fresh can of paint
• fresh coat of paint
• freshwater fishbone
• freshwater pearl necklace
• fried air
• friendly cheez blob
• frigid derringer
• frigid-ass club
• frog lip-print
• frontwinder skin
• frost flower
• frost-rimed desk bell
• frost-rimed seal hide
• frozen shampoo-conditioner
• frozen tofu pop
• frozen turtle shell
• fruit bat
• fruit-stuffed rumcake
• fruity pebble
• frying brainpan
• fudge-shaped hole in space-time
• full lava bottle
• funky eyepatch
• funky junk key
• funny bone
• funny paper hat
• furry pill
• fusilli marrownarrow
• fusillocybin
• fustulent seal grulch
• future drug: Coolscaline
• future drug: Muscularactum
• future drug: Smartinex
• fuzzy bracelets
• fuzzy busby
• fuzzy dice
• fuzzy earmuffs
• fuzzy montera
• fuzzy polar bear ears
• gabardine gaiters
• gabardine garibaldi
• gabardine garland
• gabardine girdle
• gabardine gloves
• gabardine gunnysack
• gabardine smithereens
• gaffer's tape
• gallon of milk
• gamer slurry
• gamma nog
• garbage juice slurpee
• garbage sticker
• gas can
• gator shades
• gattoo
• gazely stare
• gelatinous meat mass
• genie bottle
• genie's bracers
• genie's pants
• genie's scimitar
• genie's turbane
• ghast iron Garibaldi
• ghast iron cleaver
• ghast iron codpiece
• ghast iron heater shield
• ghast iron ingot
• ghost accordion
• ghost beer
• ghost bit
• ghost key
• ghost of a necklace
• ghost pencil
• ghost pepper
• ghost shawl
• ghost thread
• ghost toga
• ghostly dagger
• ghostly ectoplasm
• giant O
• giant X
• giant artisanal rice peeler
• giant breath mint
• giant diamond ring
• giant free-range mushroom
• giant giant moth dust
• giant grain of protein powder
• giant gym membership card
• giant heirloom grape tomato
• giant jar of protein powder
• giant marshmallow
• giant motorcycle boots
• giant neckbeard
• giant pearl
• giant penguin keychain
• giant safety pin
• giant shrimp fork
• giant spider leg
• giant stuffed bugbear
• giant tube of black lipstick
• giant turkey leg
• giant yellow hat
• gift card
• gift-a-pult
• gilded lily
• gilded trumpet
• gilt perfume bottle
• gin-soaked blotter paper
• ginger beer
• ginger snaps
• gingerbeard
• gingerbread cigarette
• gingerbread dog treat
• gingerbread gavel
• gingerbread hoodie
• gingerbread mask
• gingerbread moneybag
• gingerbread mug
• gingerbread nylons
• gingerbread pirate
• gingerbread pistol
• gingerbread restraining order
• gingerbread robot
• gingerbread smartphone
• gingerbread spice latte
• gingerbread tophat
• gingerbread trousers
• gingerbread waistcoat
• gingerbread wine
• gingernade
• gingerservo
• ginseng
• giraffe-necked turtle
• gladiator tunica
• glark cable
• glass casserole dish
• glass eye
• glass of "milk"
• glass of bourbon
• glass of drippy wine
• glass of gnat milk
• glass of herbal tequila
• glass of raw eggs
• glass of warm milk
• glass of warm water
• glass pie plate
• glass slipper
• gleaming oyster egg
• glistening oyster egg
• glob of cream cheese
• glob of enchanted icing
• glob of extra-green chlorophyll
• glob of melted wax
• glob of salty molasses
• glob of spoiled mayo
• glob of undifferentiated tissue
• gloomy black mushroom
• glow-in-the-dark necklace
• glowing El Vibrato drone
• glowing New Age crystal
• glowing fungus
• glowing spore pod
• glyph of athleticism
• gnawed-up dog bone
• go-go potion
• goblin bone hilt
• goblin collarbone
• goblin water
• gold Boozehounds Anonymous token
• gold crown
• gold nuggets
• gold skull ring
• gold star
• gold tooth
• gold toothbrush
• gold wedding ring
• golden banana
• golden fleece
• golden gum
• golden gun
• golden monkey statuette
• golden pet rock
• golden sausage
• golden tattoo gun
• goo magnet
• good ash
• good brain
• good gravy
• goodberry
• gooey drippy candy bar
• gooey lava globs
• googly chest eyes
• gooified animal matter
• gooified mineral matter
• gooified vegetable matter
• gory drippy orb
• gourmet gourami oil
• government
• government booze shipment
• government candy shipment
• government cheese
• government food shipment
• government per-diem
• government requisition form
• government-issue identification badge
• government-issued candy
• government-issued eyeshade
• government-issued necktie
• government-issued night-vision goggles
• government-issued slacks
• governor's daughter's lace collar
• governor's daughter's pearl hairpin
• governor's daughter's petticoats
• grain of sand
• grandfather watch
• grapes
• gravy boat
• gravy skin
• gravyskin buckler
• gravyskin hat
• gravyskin pants
• gravyskin skirt
• gray seashell
• grease cannon
• grease trap
• greasy desk bell
• great big capacitor
• great old fashioned
• greedy ghostling
• green LavaCo Lamp™
• green and red bean
• green bean casserole
• green candygram
• green cloth cap
• green eggnog
• green face paint
• green glowstick
• green lava globs
• green mana
• green marshmallow
• green pill
• green rock candy
• green rocket
• green seashell
• green slime glob
• green traffic cone
• green-iced sweet roll
• gregarious ghostling
• grey cube
• grey down vest
• grey gosling
• grilled cheese sandwich
• grilled mooseflank
• grim fairy tale
• grimstone galoshes
• grimstone mask
• grimy lab coat
• grinning ghostling
• grip key
• grisly shell fragment
• grisly shield
• grizzled bearskin
• grody jug
• grog nuts
• groggipop
• groggles
• grogpagne
• grogtini
• groose grease
• groping claw
• groveling gravel
• grubby wool
• grubby wool beerwarmer
• grubby wool gloves
• grubby wool hat
• grubby wool scarf
• grubby wool trousers
• grubby woolball
• grue egg omelette
• guancertina
• guffin
• guild application
• guilty sprout
• gummi ammonite
• gummi belemnite
• gummi bowtie
• gummi fang
• gummi sword
• gummi trilobite
• gummi turtle
• gumshoes
• gun parts
• gunky chicken
• gunner's daughter
• gunpowder burrito
• gunwale
• gunwale whalegun
• guts necklace
• gym membership card
• gym shorts
• hacked gibson
• haemolymphnode
• haggis socks
• haggis-infused soap
• haggis-wrapped haggis-stuffed haggis
• hair of the calf
• hair oil
• hairshirt
• half double fruitcake
• half of a gold tooth
• half-digested coal
• half-digested rat
• half-empty carton of milk
• half-height cigar
• half-melted spoon
• half-size scalpel
• ham steak
• hambrosier
• hamburger
• hamethyst-handled sixgun
• hamlet sandwich
• hand of Mr. Cards
• hand of cards
• hand turkey outline
• hand-carved bokken
• hand-carved bow
• hand-carved staff
• hand-crafted candy cane
• hand-knitted Crimbo socks
• hand-knitted diving booties
• handful of Boltsmann bearings
• handful of Smithereens
• handful of barley
• handful of crafty noodles
• handful of fire
• handful of honey
• handful of juicy garbage
• handful of napalm
• handful of split pea soup
• handful of stubble
• handful of tips
• handful of toilet paper
• handyman "hand soap"
• hangman's hood
• hard cocoa
• hard rock
• hard spore pod
• hardboiled egg
• hardening cream
• hare brush
• hare pin
• harpoon
• haunted Hell ramen
• haunted battery
• haunted bindle
• haunted bottle of vodka
• haunted cherry pie
• haunted doghouse
• haunted eggnog
• haunted flame
• haunted gimlet
• haunted martini
• haunted orange
• haunted paddle-ball
• haunted pizza
• hawk
• hawkface potion
• hazardous sauce dosimeter
• hazmat helmet
• head mirror
• head of emberg lettuce
• head-mounted Trainbot
• headless sparrow
• heart cozy
• heart of the volcano
• heart-shaped candy whetstone
• heart-shaped crate
• heat-resistant gloves
• heat-resistant necktie
• heat-resistant sheet metal
• heather graham cracker
• heavy crown
• heavy duty umbrella
• heavy-duty Crimbot aerial
• heavy-duty clipboard
• hell in a bucket
• hemlock helm
• hemp backpack
• hemp candy necklace
• hep waders
• hermedisiac cologne
• hermit factoid
• heteroerotic frat-paddle
• hewn moon-rune spoon
• hi-density nylocite leg armor
• hi-octane carrot juice
• hibernating Grimstone Golem
• hibiscus petal
• high-calorie sugar substitute
• high-end ginger wine
• high-energy mining laser
• high-speed upgrade
• high-temperature mining drill
• high-temperature mining mask
• high-test fishing line
• hippo tutu
• hipster cocktail
• hoarded candy wad
• hobo code binder
• hobo dungarees
• hobo fortress blueprints
• hobo monkey
• hobo stogie
• hockey stick of furious angry rage
• holiday smorgasbord
• holiday trip around the world
• holistic headache remedy
• hollow rock
• holo-bomber
• holo-platoon
• holo-tank
• home robotics kit
• homeless hobo spirit
• homemade robot
• homemade robot gear
• homeopathic mint tea
• honey bun of Boris
• honey-drenched ham slice
• hopeful candle
• hot Dreadsylvanian cocoa
• hot ashes
• hot button candy
• hot cluster
• hot clusterbomb
• hot coal
• hot cocoa au beurre
• hot cocoa with rainbow marshmallows
• hot daub
• hot daub bun
• hot daub stand
• hot egg
• hot jelly
• hot mint schnocolate
• hot spore pod
• hot watered rum
• hot wine
• hot-ass club
• hotel minibar key
• hothammer
• hourglass
• house of twigs and spit
• house-sized mushroom
• housekeeping automa-core
• huge Crimbo cookie
• huge bowl of candy
• huge gold coin
• huge mint leaf
• huge mosquito proboscis
• human musk
• humble pie
• humming El Vibrato drone
• hunk of granite
• hushed puppy
• hustler shades
• hyperinflated seal lung
• hypnodisk
• iFlail
• iShield
• ice cream sandwich
• ice harvest
• ice hotel bell
• ice house
• ice porter
• ice rice
• ice wine
• ice-cold Cloaca Zero
• iceberg lettuce
• iced plum wine
• icing poncho
• icy hairspray
• illegal firecracker
• illicit fish sauce
• imaginary lemon
• imbued seal-blubber candle
• imitation White Russian
• immense free-range mushroom
• imported lemon lozenge
• imported taffy
• improved martini
• impure gasoline
• in-the-box spring shoes
• incense bath ball
• incredible pizza
• incredibly dense meat gem
• indie comic hipster glasses
• industrial fire extinguisher
• industrial frosting
• industrial lubricant
• industrial strength anti-fungal spray
• industrial strength starch
• industrially-crushed ice
• inert sludgepuppy
• infernal snowball
• infinite BACON machine
• inflammable leaf
• inflatable LT&T telegraph office
• infrablack lipstick
• ingot of seal-iron
• ingot turtle
• initiative shawarma
• inky squid sauce
• innuendo
• insulated gold wire
• insulting hat
• intact anemone spike
• intact medium-wave antenna
• interesting clod of dirt
• intergalactic pom poms
• internet point
• interrogative elixir
• intimidating coiffure
• intricate clockwork big hand
• intricate clockwork birdhouse
• intricate clockwork cuckoo
• intricate clockwork disc
• intricate clockwork egg
• intricate clockwork little hand
• intricate clockwork numeral I
• intricate clockwork numeral II
• intricate clockwork numeral III
• intricate clockwork numeral IV
• intricate clockwork numeral IX
• intricate clockwork numeral V
• intricate clockwork numeral VI
• intricate clockwork numeral VII
• intricate clockwork numeral VIII
• intricate clockwork numeral X
• intricate clockwork numeral XI
• intricate clockwork numeral XII
• intricate music box parts
• invisibility cream
• invisible potion
• iron chain
• iron dagger
• iron helmet
• iron torso box
• ironic mint
• irradiated turtle
• isotophat
• ittah bittah hookah
• jagged scrap metal
• jagged tooth
• jam band
• jam band bootleg
• janglin' bones
• jangly bracelet
• jangly spurs
• janitor sponge
• janitor's mop
• jar of anniversary jam
• jar of frostigkraut
• jar of magical relish
• jar of psychoses (Jick)
• jar of psychoses (The Captain of the Gourd)
• jar of psychoses (The Crackpot Mystic)
• jar of psychoses (The Meatsmith)
• jar of psychoses (The Old Man)
• jar of psychoses (The Pretentious Artist)
• jar of psychoses (The Suspicious-Looking Guy)
• jar of swamp honey
• jaunty feather
• java cookie
• jazzy cigarette holder
• jewelry-making pliers
• jigsaw blade
• jingling spore pod
• jitterbug larva
• jive turkey leg
• jolly roger tattoo kit
• jug of "wine"
• jug of Sneaky Pete's Mojo
• jug of booze
• juggling ball
• jumping horseradish
• jungle floor wax
• junk band
• junk food
• junk trunks
• junk yard
• junk-mail shirt
• karma shawarma
• keel-haulin' knife
• kelp
• kelp-holly drape
• kelp-holly gun
• kerosene-soaked skip
• kevlateflocite helmet
• khaki duffel bag
• kill screen
• killing jar
• kilopede skull
• kitten burglar
• kiwi beak
• knobby kneepads
• kobold kibble
• lab-grown meat
• labrador cookie
• large pile of sand
• large stone triangle
• large tankard of ale
• laser cannon
• laser targeting chip
• latte lovers club card
• latte lovers member's mug
• lava balaclava
• lava cake
• lava-proof pants
• lavalarva
• lavawater
• lavender candygram
• law-abiding citizen cane
• lead collar
• lead umbrella
• leafy browns
• leather glove
• leechknife
• left bear arm
• left bracket
• left parenthesis
• left-handed melodica
• leftover canapés
• leftover chocolate bar
• leftover pasty
• leftovers
• leftovers sandwich
• leg-mounted Trainbots
• leggings of the Spider Queen
• legitimate business on the beach
• lemonhead caviar
• lemony scales
• length of old fuse
• li'l candy corn costume
• li'l ghost costume
• li'l knight costume
• li'l orphan tot
• li'l unicorn costume
• libertagliatelle
• licorice snake
• licorice whip
• limepatch
• limp broccoli
• linguini immondizia bianco
• linguini of the sea
• lion musk
• lip soup
• liquid SONAR
• liquid bread
• liquid ice
• liquid ice pack
• liquid rhinestones
• liquid shifting time weirdness
• liquid smoke
• lit leaf lasso
• literal grasshopper
• little black book
• little deuce cape
• little firkin
• little piece of steel
• little red .epub file
• little red book
• little red jam
• little wooden mannequin
• livid energy
• loadstone
• loaf of alien bread
• loaf of soda bread
• loafers
• locked mumming trunk
• lodestone
• logging hatchet
• long-forgotten necklace
• long-stemmed rose
• longbox of Batfellow comics
• loofah ladle
• loofah lavalier
• loofah lederhosen
• loofah legwarmers
• loofah lei
• loofah lumberjack's hat
• loofah lumps
• loose blade
• loose purse strings
• lost elf luggage
• lost key
• love
• low tide martini
• low-budget shield
• lowercase a
• lucky Tam O'Shatner
• lucky army helmet
• lucky cat collar
• lucky cat statue
• lucky cat's paw
• lucky gold ring
• lucky moai statuette
• lucky napkin
• lucky rabbitfish fin
• lucky-ish pill
• lump of Brituminous coal
• lump of bauxite
• lump of black ichor
• lump of clay
• lump of goofball ore
• lump of loyal latite
• lump of not really wriggling eldritch matter
• lupine appetite hormones
• lustrous drippy orb
• lustrous oyster egg
• luxury fly-tying workbench
• lynyrd musk
• lynyrd skin
• lynyrd skinner toothblack
• lynyrd snare
• lynyrdskin breeches
• lynyrdskin cap
• lynyrdskin tunic
• macaroni duck
• machine elf capsule
• macroplane grater
• madius
• mafia filofax
• mafia middle finger ring
• mafia organizer badge
• mafia pinky ring
• mafia pointer finger ring
• mafia thumb ring
• mafia wedding ring
• magenta seashell
• magical baguette
• magical battery
• magical pony: Dusk Shiny
• magical pony: Pearjack
• magical pony: Rosey Cake
• magical pony: Shutterfly
• magical pony: Spectrum Dash
• magical pony: Uniquity
• magical sausage
• magical sausage casing
• magicberry tablets
• magnetic field
• magnetic sculpture kit
• magnificent oyster egg
• magnolia blossom
• magnum of fancy champagne
• makeshift castanets
• makeshift sixgun
• mama's squeezebox
• mana curds
• mana-basted tofurkey leg
• mana-coated yams
• mana-fortified cranberry sauce
• mana-stuffed herbal stuffing
• mangled finger
• mangled squirrel
• mantis skull
• map to Anemone Mine
• map to Dolph Bossin's hideout
• map to Madness Reef
• map to a candy-rich block
• map to the Cursed Village
• map to the Dive Bar
• map to the Marinara Trench
• map to the Mystic Wood
• map to the Putrid Swamp
• map to the Skate Park
• map to the Sprawling Cemetery
• map to the Towering Mountains
• marble maebari
• marble magnet
• marble mantle
• marble mariachi hat
• marble medallion
• marble mignonette bowl
• marble molecules
• marinara jug
• marshmallow bomb
• marshroom
• martiny
• mashed potatoes
• massive gemstone
• massive wrench
• mayfly bait necklace
• mayo pump
• meadeorite
• meatball
• meatball machine
• mechanically-mulled cider
• medium stone triangle
• megacopia
• melty plastic grenade
• meme generator
• memory of a C
• memory of a CA base pair
• memory of a CG base pair
• memory of a CT base pair
• memory of a G
• memory of a GT base pair
• memory of a T
• memory of an A
• memory of an AG base pair
• memory of an AT base pair
• memory of some delicious amino acids
• mentholated wine
• mercenary headband
• mercenary pistol
• mercenary rifle
• mesquito proboscis
• messenger bag RNA
• metal band T-shirt
• metal meteoroid
• metandienone
• meteor shower cap
• meteorb
• meteoreo
• meteorite earring
• meteorite fragment
• meteorite guard
• meteorite necklace
• meteorite ring
• meteortarboard
• meteorthopedic shoes
• micronova
• mid-level medieval mead
• midriff scrubs
• milestone
• military candy cane
• military orb
• military-grade peppermint oil
• mime army camouflage kit
• mime army challenge coin
• mime army infiltration glove
• mime army insignia (cryonics)
• mime army insignia (espionage)
• mime army insignia (infantry)
• mime army insignia (intelligence)
• mime army insignia (morale)
• mime army insignia (psychological warfare)
• mime army insignia (pyrotechnics)
• mime army insignia (sanitation)
• mime army rations
• mime army shotglass
• mime army superserum
• mime army wine
• mime eraser
• mime pocket probe
• mime soul fragment
• mime-proof sunglasses
• mimeplasm
• miming beret
• miming boots
• miming corduroys
• miming gloves
• miming shirt
• mince pie
• mineapple
• mini kiwi
• mini kiwi aioli
• mini kiwi antimilitaristic hippy petition
• mini kiwi bikini
• mini kiwi digitized cookies
• mini kiwi egg
• mini kiwi icepick
• mini kiwi illicit antibiotic
• mini kiwi intoxicating spirits
• mini kiwi invisible dirigible
• mini kiwi silicon tiepin
• mini kiwi tipi
• mini kiwi whipping stick
• mini kiwi-flavored aspirin-injecting lipstick
• mini kiwitini
• mini-Mr. Accessory
• mini-marshmallow dispenser
• mini-martini
• mini-zeppelin
• miniature Embering Hulk
• miniature boiler
• miniature coffin
• miniature crystal ball
• miniature deck cannon
• miniature goose mask
• miniature gravy-covered maypole
• miniature life preserver
• miniature power pill
• minin' dynamite
• miniscule temporal rip
• mint condition Lil' Doctor™ bag
• mint condition magnifying glass
• mint-in-box Powerful Glove
• missing semicolon
• missing wine
• moai toai
• moaiball
• mocking turtle
• model train set
• modern picture frame
• moist Crimbo spices
• moist barrel
• moist sack
• molehill mountain
• molten brick
• molten medallion
• molten scrap metal
• monkey barf
• monstrous monocle
• moomy dust
• moon-amber
• moon-amber necklace
• moonberry wine cooler
• moose antlers
• moose chocolate
• moose thought
• mooseflank
• moosemeat pie
• moreltini
• morning dew
• moss floss
• moss mace
• moss mantle
• moss marlinspike
• moss medal
• moss megaphone
• moss mitre
• moss mulch
• mostly rat-hide leggings
• mostly-broken sunglasses
• mostly-empty bottle of cookie wine
• mother's necklace
• mouldering barrel
• mountain lion skin
• mourning wine
• mouse skull
• moustache sock
• mouth-watering mayolus
• muddy pirate hat
• muddy skirt
• muffled muffuletta
• mulberry
• mulled berry wine
• mulled blood
• mulled hobo wine
• mulled wine
• multi-level marzipan
• mummified entombed cookbookbat
• mumming trunk
• murderbot component casing
• murderbot live wire
• murderbot mask
• murderbot memory chip
• murderbot monofilament
• murderbot plasma rifle
• murderbot power cell
• murderbot shield unit
• murderbot spring injector
• murderbot whip
• muscle oil
• muscular soup
• mushroom filet
• mushroom slab
• mushroom tea
• mushroom whiskey
• musk turtle
• muskox-skin cap
• musty moccasins
• mutant arm
• mutant crown
• mutant legs
• mutated candy lump
• myrrh pouch
• myrrh-soaked, chocolate-covered bacon bath ball
• mysterious chemical residue
• mysterious silver lapel pin
• mystery lollipop
• nachos of the night
• nail file
• nailswurst
• name change form
• nanorhino credit card
• nasty desk bell
• nasty gum
• nasty rat mask
• nasty snuff
• nasty-ass club
• nasty-smelling moss
• nastygeist
• nativity shorts
• natural magick candle
• naughty paper shuriken
• nauseating reagent
• navel ring of navel gazing
• ncle leg
• neck wreath
• necrotizing body spray
• neg grog
• nega-mushroom
• nega-mushroom wine
• negative lump
• negotiatin' hammer
• neoprene skullcap
• nervous tick egg
• nest egg
• neutron lollipop
• neverending wallet chain
• new habit
• newly-hatched mayonnaise wasp
• nice warm beer
• nicksilver ring
• nicksilver spurs
• ninja carabiner
• ninja crampons
• ninja eyeblack
• ninja fear powder
• ninja pirate zombie robot
• ninja rope
• ninjammies
• noir fedora
• non-Euclidean angle
• non-Euclidean non-accordion
• non-aged vinegar
• normal barrel
• norwhal helmet
• nosy nose ringy ring
• note from Clancy
• nothing-in-the-box-in-the-box
• nothingtini
• noticeable pumps
• novelty fruit hat
• novelty monorail ticket
• novelty tattoo sleeves
• noxious gas grenade
• nozzle of the Phoenix
• nuclear stockpile
• nugget of Crimbonium
• nugget of nicksilver
• nugget of quicksilver
• nugget of sicksilver
• nugget of slicksilver
• nugget of sodium
• nugget of thicksilver
• nugget of ticksilver
• nugget of wicksilver
• numberwang
• nut-shaped Crimbo cookie
• nutcracking pliers
• nylon Christmas stockings
• obsidian nutcracker
• octolus oculus
• octolus-skin cloak
• odd silver coin
• odor extractor
• off-hand balloon
• offensive moustache
• officer's nog
• oil cap
• oil lamp
• oil pan
• oil shell
• oil slacks
• oil-filled donut
• oily boid
• oily golden mushroom
• ojo de pez burrito
• old ball and chain
• old bronzer
• old candy wrapper
• old chum
• old dry bone
• old eyebrow pencil
• old love note
• old patched suit-pants
• old rosewater cream
• old school Mafia knicke½æ
• old school Mafia knickerbockers
• old school beer pull tab
• old school calculator watch
• old soft shoes
• old-fashioned Crimbo Pressie
• old-school pirate grog
• oldcake
• one glove
• one million meat pancakes
• one piece of bubble gum
• one pill
• one-day ticket to Conspiracy Island
• one-day ticket to Dinseylandfill
• one-day ticket to Spring Break Beach
• one-day ticket to That 70s Volcano
• one-day ticket to The Glaciest
• one-winged stab bat
• onyx bishop
• onyx king
• onyx knight
• onyx pawn
• onyx queen
• onyx rook
• open sauce
• opium grenade
• optimal spreadsheet
• orange boxing gloves
• orange candygram
• orange glowstick
• orange slime glob
• orange traffic cone
• orc wrist
• orcish hand lotion
• orcish nailing lube
• orcish rubber
• orcish stud-finder
• organ grinder
• organic potpourri
• origami "gentlemen's" magazine
• origami pasties
• origami riding crop
• ornamental sextant
• ornate picture frame
• orphan baby yeti
• out-of-work circus flea
• outlaw bandana
• outrageous sombrero
• over-the-shoulder Folder Holder
• overcharged El Vibrato power sphere
• overflowing gift basket
• overloaded Yule battery
• overloaded micro-reactor
• overloaded short-pulse transistor
• overly-fancy hot cocoa
• overpowering mushroom wine
• oversized ice molecule
• oversized skullcap
• oxygenated eggnog helmet
• oyster egg balloon
• oyster sauce
• pacification grenade
• packaged Daylight Shavings Helmet
• packaged Everfull Dart Holster
• packaged June cleaver
• packaged Jurassic Parka
• packaged Pocket Professor
• packaged Roman Candelabra
• packaged SpinMaster™ lathe
• packaged backup camera
• packaged cold medicine cabinet
• packaged familiar scrapbook
• packaged industrial fire extinguisher
• packaged knock-off retro superhero cape
• packaged luxury garment
• packaged miniature crystal ball
• packaged model train set
• packet of beer nuts
• packet of beer seeds
• packet of dragon's teeth
• packet of mushroom spores
• packet of orchid seeds
• packet of rock seeds
• packet of tall grass seeds
• packet of thanksgarden seeds
• packet of winter seeds
• padded tortoise
• page of the Necrohobocon
• paint palette
• painting of a glass of wine
• pair of candy glasses
• pair of government shades
• pair of plants
• pair of scissors
• paisley spore pod
• pantogram
• panty raider camouflage
• papier-mâché base
• papier-mâché bowl
• papier-mâché glob
• papier-mâché handle
• papier-mâché plaque
• papier-mâché toothpicks
• papier-mâché trophy piñata
• papier-mâchéte
• papier-mâchaeranthera
• papier-mâchine gun
• papier-mâchuridars
• papier-masque
• papier-mitre
• papier-mochi
• paraffin palazzos
• paraffin pendant
• paraffin pieces
• paraffin pith helmet
• paraffin poncho
• paraffin pseudoaccordion
• paraffin punching bag
• paranormal ricotta
• party balloon
• party beer bomb
• party crasher
• party mouse hat
• party platter for one
• party pup
• party whip
• passed-out psychedelic bear
• pat of butter
• patch of extra-warm fur
• patent aggression tonic
• patent alacrity tonic
• patent avarice tonic
• patent invisibility tonic
• patent preventative tonic
• patent sallowness tonic
• pea brittle
• peace accordion
• peace shooter
• peace turkey outline
• peanut sauce
• pearl diver's necklace
• pearl diver's ring
• pearlescent oyster egg
• peasco sour
• peaza
• pebble of proud pyrite
• pec oil
• pecan pie
• pegfinger
• pencil kunai
• pencil stub
• pentagram bandana
• pentatonic accordion
• peppermint bomb
• peppermint donut
• peppermint eel sauce
• peppermint harpoon gun
• peppermint pegleg
• peppermint spine
• peppermint sprig
• peppermint syrup
• peppermint tack
• peppermint tailings
• peppermint-scented socks
• percent sign
• perfect Christmas scarf
• perfect cosmopolitan
• perfect dark and stormy
• perfect ice cube
• perfect mimosa
• perfect negroni
• perfect old-fashioned
• perfect paloma
• perfectly fair coin
• perfume-soaked bandana
• perl necklace
• pernicious cudgel
• perpendicular guano
• personal graffiti kit
• personal raindrop
• personalizable gingerbread cookie
• personalized wassail stein
• pestopiary
• pet anchor
• pet bad vibe
• petit 4.1
• petit fortran
• petrified noodles
• pewter candlestick
• pewter claymore
• pewter shavings
• ph balancer
• phase-tuned shield generator belt
• phial of coldness
• phial of hotness
• phial of sleaziness
• phial of spookiness
• phial of stench
• photo booth sized crate
• pickelhaube
• pickled bread
• pickled egg
• pickled grasshopper
• pickpocket protector
• picky tweezers
• picture of you
• pie man was not meant to eat
• piece of after eight
• piece of cake
• piece of coral
• piece of driftwood
• piercing post
• pig-iron bracers
• pig-iron helm
• pig-iron shinguards
• pigeon egg
• piggy tattoo
• pile of Trainbot parts
• pile of dirt
• pile of dungeon junk
• pile of gritty sand
• pile of sand
• pile of useless robot parts
• pilgrim shield
• pill cup
• pillow shell
• pin-stripe slacks
• pine cone
• pine cone necklace
• pineapple slab
• ping-pong ball
• ping-pong paddle
• pink candygram
• pink glowstick
• pink pinkslip slip
• pink slime
• pink-belly slapper
• pint of sweat
• piracetam
• piranha pollen
• pirate cream pie
• pirate encryption key (complete)
• pirate encryption key alpha
• pirate encryption key bravo
• pirate encryption key charlie
• pirate encryption key delta
• pirate fork
• pirate hook
• pirate pantaloons
• pirate radio ring
• pirate shaving cream
• piratical blunderbuss
• pirrrate's currrse
• piscatini
• pitted sheet metal
• pixel banana
• pixel beer
• pixel bread
• pixel chain whip
• pixel coin
• pixel cross
• pixel daiquiri
• pixel energy tank
• pixel grappling hook
• pixel holy water
• pixel lemon
• pixel morning star
• pixel orb
• pixel pill
• pixel power cell
• pixel rock
• pixel star
• pixel whiskey
• pixie axie
• plague pie
• plaid bandage
• plaid cowboy hat
• plaid pocket square
• plaid skirt
• plaid swatch
• plain bagel
• plain calzone
• plain candy cane
• plain paper hat
• plain snowcone
• plans for depleted Grimacite ninja mask
• plans for depleted Grimacite weightlifting belt
• plastic Jefferson wings
• plastic bazooka
• plastic cup of flat beer
• plastic doll arms
• plastic doll legs
• plastic ingot
• plastic nightmare troll
• plastic nunchaku
• plastic piranha pot
• plastic pirate hat
• plate of Frigid Northern Beans
• plate of Heimz Fortified Kidney Beans
• plate of Hellfire Spicy Beans
• plate of Mixed Garbanzos and Chickpeas
• plate of Pork 'n' Pork 'n' Pork 'n' Beans
• plate of Shrub's Premium Baked Beans
• plate of Tesla's Electroplated Beans
• plate of Trader Olaf's Exotic Stinkbeans
• plate of Val-U Brand Every Bean Salad
• plate of World's Blackest-Eyed Peas
• plexifoam chin strap
• plexiglass pants
• plexiglass pendant
• plexiglass pikestaff
• plexiglass pinky ring
• plexiglass pith helmet
• plexiglass pocketwatch
• plumber's lunch
• plump free-range mushroom
• plunge-leg
• plus one
• plush alielf
• plush alien hamsterpus
• plush dogcat
• plush ferrelf
• plush hamsterpus
• plush mutated alielephant
• plush mutated alielf
• plush sea serpent
• pocket ace
• pocket lint (blue)
• pocket lint (green)
• pocket lint (orange)
• pocket lint (white)
• pocket maze
• pocket wish
• pogo stick
• poisonsettia
• poker face paint
• polished moon-amber
• polo trophy
• polyeaster egg
• polyester pad
• polyester panama hat
• polyester parachute
• polyester peeler
• polyester pettipants
• polyester pulsera
• polyesterene powder
• polymorphic fastening apparatus
• poncho de azucar
• ponytail clip
• pool shark hair oil
• pool torpedo
• poppy
• popular tart
• porcelain candy dish
• porcelain pelerine
• porcelain pepper mill
• porcelain phantom mask
• porcelain plus-fours
• porcelain police baton
• porcelain porkpie
• porcelain powder
• pork elf goodies sack
• porkpocket
• porquoise-handled sixgun
• portable Mayo Clinic
• portable Othello set
• portable Spacegate
• portable cassette player
• portable dam
• portable housekeeping robot
• portable pantogram
• portable ping-pong table
• portable steam unit
• portable table
• portable wall
• possessed sugar cube
• possessed tomato
• possibility potion
• post-holiday sale coupon
• potato alarm clock
• potato jacket
• potato masher
• potion of spiritual gunkifying
• potted power plant
• potted tea tree
• powdered candy sushi set
• powdered dice
• powdered gold
• powdered madness
• powdered oxygen
• powdered powdered sugar
• powdered sealbone
• power pill
• power seed
• power sock
• prank Crimbo card
• praying Grim Brother
• precision snowball
• pregnant gloomy black mushroom
• pregnant oily golden mushroom
• premium malt liquor
• prescription noodles
• prescription teeth whitener
• present
• pressurized potion of pneumaticity
• pressurized potion of possessiveness
• priceless diamond
• primitive alien blowgun
• primitive alien booze
• primitive alien loincloth
• primitive alien mask
• primitive alien medicine
• primitive alien necklace
• primitive alien salad
• primitive alien spear
• primitive alien totem
• primitive candy cane
• print screen button
• pristine piranha seed
• pristine walrus tusk
• pro skateboard
• profane eye patch
• programmable turtle
• prohie's hat
• projectile chemistry set
• propeller beanie
• protection stick
• proto-proto-protozoa
• protogenetic chunklet (elbow)
• protogenetic chunklet (flagellum)
• protogenetic chunklet (lips)
• protogenetic chunklet (muscle)
• protogenetic chunklet (synapse)
• protonic accelerator pack
• prototype stimulant
• psychic's amulet
• psychic's circlet
• psychic's crystal ball
• psychic's pslacks
• psychoanalytic jar
• psychokinetic energy blob
• pteruges
• pulled blue taffy
• pulled green taffy
• pulled indigo taffy
• pulled orange taffy
• pulled red taffy
• pulled violet taffy
• pulled yellow taffy
• pump-up high-tops
• pumpkin spice whorl
• punch-drunk punch
• punching mirror
• punk patch
• punk rock jacket
• puppet strings
• purple glowstick
• purpleheart "pants"
• purpleheart logs
• putty coat
• puzzling ribbon
• puzzling trophy
• pygmy adder oil
• pygmy briefs
• pygmy bugbear shaman
• pygmy concertinette
• pygmy dart
• pygmy papers
• pygmy phone number
• pygmy witchhazel
• quantized familiar
• quantized familiar experience
• quantum disintegrator pistol
• quantum nanopolymer spider web
• quantum of familiar
• quantum watch
• quasi-ethereal macaroni fragments
• question juice
• quicksilver ring
• quicksilver spurs
• quirky accordion
• rack of dinosaur ribs
• radiation-resistant helmet
• radiator heater shield
• radioactive spider venom
• raffle ticket
• ragged wool yarn
• rainbow glitter candle
• rainbow jellybean
• rainbow pearl
• rainbow pearl earring
• rainbow pearl necklace
• rainbow pearl ring
• rainbow sauce
• ramekin of space nuts
• rare oboe
• rat carcass
• rat head balloon
• ratatouille de Jarlsberg
• ratskin pajama pants
• rattler gland
• rattler rattle
• ratty knitted cap
• ravenous eye
• raw bread
• raw cranberry sauce
• raw gravy
• raw green beans
• raw mincemeat
• raw potato
• raw stuffing
• raw sweet potato
• raw turkey
• real cowboy hat
• realistic cap gun
• really nice lump of coal
• really nice net
• really thick spine
• really tiny cocktail shaker
• record of infuriating silence
• record of infuriating silence (used)
• record of menacing silence
• record of menacing silence (used)
• record of tranquil silence
• record of tranquil silence (used)
• recording of Rolando's Rondo of Resisto
• recovered cufflinks
• red LavaCo Lamp™
• red ale
• red and green rain stick
• red and white claret
• red armband
• red badge
• red balloon
• red blood cells
• red book
• red box
• red button
• red coat
• red coin
• red eye
• red face paint
• red foxglove
• red lava globs
• red letter
• red mana
• red masque
• red money bag
• red plumber's boots
• red potion
• red red wine
• red rocket
• red rum
• red shirt
• red shoe
• red silk skirt
• red traffic cone
• red tulip
• red velvet cake
• red white and blue claret
• red-and-green microcamera
• red-hot boilermaker
• red-hot jawbreaker
• red-hot knucklebone
• red-hot poker
• red-hot sausage fork
• red-soled high heels
• red-spotted snapper roe
• redwood rain stick
• reflection of a map
• refrigerated biohazard container
• refurbished air fryer
• regret hose
• regular-size brogurt
• reindeer hammer
• reindeer sickle
• reliable sixgun
• remaindered axe
• remorseless knife
• repaid diaper
• repaired El Vibrato drone
• replica Elf Guard medal
• replica Ten Dollars
• replica bat-oomerang
• replica key
• research fragment
• residual chitin paste
• residual zeal
• returned Thinknerd package
• reusable shopping bag
• reverse Tantalus
• rhinestone
• rhinestone cowhorn
• rhinoceros horn
• rib of the Bonerdagon
• ribbon candy ascot
• ribcage rollcage
• riboflavin
• rigging knot
• right bear arm
• right parenthesis
• ring
• ring of Detect Boring Doors
• ring of telling skeletons what to do
• ring of the Skeleton Lord
• rinky-dink sixgun
• roasted duck
• roasted vegetable focaccia
• roasted vegetable of Jarlsberg
• robin flan
• robin nog
• robin's egg
• robot grease
• rocket fuel
• rodeo whiskey
• roll of meat
• room scale green bean casserole
• root beer
• root beer barrel
• rope with some soap on it
• rose
• rose-colored glasses
• rotten tomato
• rotting barrel
• rotting beefsteak
• rotting cowskin
• round blue bomb
• rubber WWBBDD? bracelet
• rubber baby doll
• rubber cape
• rubber doll body
• rubber doll head
• rubber gloves
• rubber nubbin
• rubber ribcage
• rubber spatula
• rubber spider
• ruby on canes
• rum ball
• rum-soaked fruitcake
• rune-strewn spoon cocoon
• runny fermented egg
• runny icing
• runproof mascara
• rusted-out shootin' iron
• rusty chain necklace
• rusty hedge trimmers
• rusty metal greaves
• rusty staff
• rutabuga bag
• rxr shield
• s'more
• s'more gun
• sachet of strange powder
• saffron antaravasaka
• saffron uttarasanga
• salacious crumbs
• salmagumdi
• salt plum
• salt plum sake
• salt wages
• salt water taffy
• salted mutton
• saltwaterbed
• salty drippy candy bar
• salty gumdrop
• sampler size toothpaste
• sandwich of the gods
• sangria del diablo
• sardine can key
• sausage golem
• sausage without a cause
• savings bond
• savory dry noodles
• sawblade shield
• sawed-off blunderbuss
• scabrous seal epaulets
• scale-mail underwear
• scepter of the Skeleton Lord
• school spirit socket set
• scimitar cozy
• scintillating oyster egg
• scintillating powder
• scotch on the rocks
• scrap metal
• scrap of shadow
• screwing pooch
• scroll case
• scroll of Protection from Bad Stuff
• scroll of Puddingskin
• scroll of minor invulnerability
• scroll of protection from lycanthropes
• scrunchie tourniquet
• sea cape
• sea chaps
• sea cowbell
• sea cowboy hat
• sea holster
• sea jelly
• sea lace
• sea lasso
• sea leather
• sea mantle
• sea shawl
• sea truffle
• sea-worn candlestick
• seal lube
• seal medal
• seal-blubber candle
• sealhide belt
• sealhide buckler
• sealhide cloak
• sealhide gloves
• sealhide hood
• sealhide leggings
• sealhide moccasins
• sealhide seal doll
• sealhide snare
• sealhide whip
• sealskin drum
• seared dino steak
• second-hand knockoff engagement ring
• secret from the future
• secret mummy herbs and spices
• security automa-core
• security flashlight
• seegar butt
• self-dribbling basketball
• self-repairing earmuffs
• senate fly thorax
• sentient meat mass
• sequin-encrusted sweater
• servo-assisted exo-pants
• set of Unobtainium straps
• severed flipper
• sew-on bandage
• sewage-clogged pistol
• sewer snake
• sewing kit
• shadow bread
• shadow brick
• shadow candle
• shadow candy
• shadow chef's hat
• shadow flame
• shadow fluid
• shadow glass
• shadow hammer
• shadow hot dog
• shadow ice
• shadow martini
• shadow monocle
• shadow nectar
• shadow needle
• shadow pill
• shadow sausage
• shadow sinew
• shadow skin
• shadow stick
• shadow trousers
• shadow venom
• shadowy cheat sheet
• shady shades
• shaker of dry rub
• shaking skull
• shamanic beads
• shamanic ham
• shapeless wide-brimmed hat
• sharkfin gumbo
• sharp tin strip
• sharpened hubcap
• sharpened spoon
• shavin' razor
• sheet cake
• shellacked shell
• shells a la shellfish
• shield of the Skeleton Lord
• shim of shame shale
• shimmering tendrils
• shining goblet
• shining star cap
• shiny brass tailfeathers
• shiny gold fronts
• shiny stones
• shipwright's hammer
• shock belt
• shocked shell
• shoe ad T-shirt
• shoe gum
• shoo-fish pie
• shooting morning star
• shopkeeper beard
• short beer
• short calculator
• short deposition
• short glass of water
• short stack of pancakes
• short stick of butter
• short white
• short writ of habeas corpus
• short-handled mop
• shortest-order cook
• shot of Sneaky Pete's Mojo
• shot of granola liqueur
• shot of mescal
• shot of wasp venom
• shoulder-mounted Trainbot
• shoulder-warming lotion
• shovelful of dirt
• shredded hellseal hide
• shrimp cocktail
• shrine to the Barrel god
• shrink-wrapped 2002 Mr. Store Catalog
• shrink-wrapped Cincho de Mayo
• shroomtini
• shuddering cow skull
• shuriken salad
• shushed potatoes
• sicksilver ring
• sicksilver spurs
• signal fragment
• signal receiver
• silent A
• silent B
• silent C
• silent D
• silent E
• silent F
• silent G
• silent H
• silent I
• silent J
• silent K
• silent L
• silent M
• silent N
• silent O
• silent P
• silent Q
• silent R
• silent S
• silent T
• silent U
• silent V
• silent W
• silent X
• silent Y
• silent Z
• silent beret
• silent nightlight
• silent pea shooter
• silicon-infused gluteal shield
• silk garter snake
• silky pirate drawers
• silver Dreadsylvanian flask
• silver cow creamer
• silver cow skull
• silver face paint
• silver keg
• silver salt-shaker
• silver sausage
• silver shotgun shell
• silver table-scraper
• simple AI
• single atom
• single entendre
• single of Donho's Bubbly Ballad
• single of Inigo's Incantation of Inspiration
• single swig of vodka
• single-use dust mask
• sinister ancient tablet
• sinister demon mask
• sinister-looking cat
• sinistral homunculus
• sizzling desk bell
• sizzling seal fat
• skelelton spine
• skeletal banana
• skeletal scabbard
• skeleton
• skeleton beans
• skeleton quiche
• skeleton skis
• skewered cherry
• skewered jumbo olive
• skewered lime
• ski resort souvenir crate
• skin oil
• skull capacitor
• skull gearshift knob
• skull of the Bonerdagon
• skulldozer egg
• slap and slap again
• slap and slap again recipe
• sleaze cluster
• sleaze clusterbomb
• sleaze jelly
• sleeping patriotic eagle
• sleeping profane parrot
• sleeve deuce
• slice of pizza
• slicksilver ring
• slicksilver spurs
• slide rule
• slime fedora
• slime knuckles
• slime shooter
• slime waders
• slime-covered club
• slime-covered compass
• slime-covered greaves
• slime-covered helmet
• slime-covered lantern
• slime-covered necklace
• slime-covered shovel
• slime-covered speargun
• slime-covered staff
• slime-soaked hypophysis
• slippery when wet shield
• sludgesicle
• small Crimbo Pressie
• small golem
• small gummi fin
• small pile of sand
• small stone triangle
• smart watch
• smellbook
• smelted roe
• smirking shrunken head
• smoked potsherd
• smoker's cloak
• smoking grass
• smoking talon
• smoldering bagel punch
• smoldering box
• smoldering leafcutter ant egg
• smooth mushroom wine
• smooth velvet bra
• smooth velvet hanky
• smooth velvet hat
• smooth velvet pants
• smooth velvet pocket square
• smooth velvet shirt
• smooth velvet socks
• smudge stick
• smut orc keepsake box
• smut orc sunglasses
• snake oil
• snake skin
• snakebite
• snakeskin cowboy hat
• snakeskin jacket
• snakeskin thighboots
• sneakeasies
• sneaky wrapping paper
• snow belly
• snow berries
• snow cleats
• snow crab
• snow fort
• snow hat
• snow machine
• snowball
• snowman-enchanting tophat
• snowpack
• snowstick
• soap knife
• sober pill
• sock garters
• soft cap of diminishing returns
• soft green echo eyedrop antidote martini
• software bug
• soggy elf shoes
• soggy gingerbread chunk
• soggy used band-aid
• soilzerac
• solid asbestos box
• solid chrome box
• solid gold jewel
• solid linoleum box
• solid shifting time weirdness
• sommelier's towel
• sonar fishfinder
• sorority girl's box
• soul coin
• soul doorbell
• soul knife
• soul mask
• soul monocle
• sour ball and chain
• sour powder
• souvenir flag
• soyburger juice
• space bar
• space beast fur
• space beast fur hat
• space beast fur pants
• space beast fur whip
• space blanket
• space chowder
• space heater
• space invader
• space jellybicycle
• space junk
• space marine flash grenade
• space needle
• space pirate treasure map
• space planula
• space port
• space trooper helmet
• space wine
• spagecialetti
• spaghetti breakfast
• spaghetti with ghost balls
• spaghetti-box banjo
• spangly mariachi pants
• spangly mariachi vest
• spangly sombrero
• spant backplate
• spant chitin
• spant egg casing
• spant shield
• spant shoulderpads
• spant spear
• spant tendon
• spants
• spare battery
• spare chocolate parts
• spare neck bolts
• spark plug earring
• sparking El Vibrato drone
• sparking robo-battery
• sparkling orb
• sparkly engagement ring
• spearfish fishing spear
• special clip: boneburners
• special clip: graveburpers
• special clip: splatterers
• special clip: squelchers
• special clip: tracers
• special clip: wailers
• special edition Batfellow comic
• specialty ammo bandolier
• spectral axe
• speed limit shield
• sphygmomanometer
• spicy jerky stick
• spider leg
• spidercow eye-cluster
• spinal-fluid-covered emotion chip
• spinning wheel
• spirit bed
• spirit bell
• spirit blanket
• spirit gum
• spirit mattress
• spirit pillow
• spirit sheet
• spiritual candy cane
• spiritual eggnog
• spiritual fruitcake
• spiritual gingerbread
• splendid martini
• sponge cake
• spooky alphabet block
• spooky cluster
• spooky clusterbomb
• spooky gravy fairy warlock hat
• spooky jelly
• spooky lasso
• spooky music box mechanism
• spooky sound effects record
• spoonful of Linguine-Os
• spray chrome
• spring shoes
• sprinkle-begging cup
• sprinkles
• sprocket assembly
• squeaky toy rose
• squirming Slime larva
• squirmy violent party snack
• stained glass serape
• stained glass shards
• stained glass shield
• stained glass shiv
• stained glass spectacles
• stained glass stetson
• stained glass suspenders
• stained hard candy
• stainless steel scarf
• stainless steel shillelagh
• stainless steel skullcap
• stainless steel slacks
• stainless steel solitaire
• stainless steel suspenders
• stale Cheer-E-Os
• stale cheer wine
• standard-issue cupcake
• standards and practices guide
• staph of homophones
• star pop
• status cymbal
• stealth bomber
• steamed oyster
• steaming evil
• steampunk potion
• steel drivin' hammer
• steel knuckles
• steel sword
• stench cluster
• stench clusterbomb
• stench jelly
• stepmom's booze
• stick of firewood
• stick-on gnome beard
• sticky gloves
• sticky hand whip
• sticky lava globs
• sticky sword blade
• still grill
• still-beating spleen
• stink-penny
• stinking agaricus
• stinkwater
• stinky cheese ball
• stinky fannypack
• stolen meatpouch
• stolen necklace
• stolen sushi
• stone wool
• stop shield
• strange helix fossil
• strange stalagmite
• strange stone pyramid
• straw pole
• stray chihuahua
• streetfighting champion's belt
• string of moist beads
• structural ember
• studded sealhide shield
• stuffed "L"
• stuffed Meat
• stuffed Mob Penguin
• stuffed caterpillar
• stuffed club
• stuffed dinosaur
• stuffed dodo
• stuffed ghuol whelp
• stuffed kraken
• stuffed pocketwatch
• stuffed porpoise
• stuffed red and green pepper (stale)
• stuffed sabre-toothed lime
• stuffed shoulder parrot
• stuffed stab bat
• stuffed teddy butler
• stuffed yam stinkbomb
• stuffed yeti
• stuffed yo-yo
• stuffing fluffer
• sturdy cane
• stylish swimsuit
• styrofoam peanuts
• subscription cocoa dispenser
• succulent marrow
• sugar bunny
• sugar fairy
• sugar raygun
• sugar shirt
• sugar shotgun
• sugar sphere
• sugarplum ration
• suggestive strozzapreti
• sundae ration
• super good fruit
• super-absorbent tarp
• super-heated leaf
• super-size brogurt
• super-strong air freshener
• super-sweet boom box
• super-sweet fish goo (spoiled)
• superduperheated metal
• superheated metal
• superhero mask
• surgical apron
• surgical mask
• surgical tape
• surprisingly capacious handbag
• sushi doily
• sushi-rolling mat
• suspicious package
• suspicious-looking fedora
• swamp haunch
• swamp lolly
• sweat socks
• sweat-ade
• sweatband
• sweaty balsam
• sweet mochi ball
• sweet nutcracker
• sweet party mix
• sweet potato o' mine
• sweet potato punch
• sweet roll Alabama
• sweet tooth
• sweet-corn-flavored Mr. Mediocrebar
• sweetened reindeer fat
• swirling mushroom wine
• swordzall
• synaptic soup
• synthetic dog hair pill
• synthetic marrow
• synthetic rock
• tabletop candy dispenser
• tailbone shield
• tainted icing
• tainted milk
• tainted seal's blood
• talisman of Seshat
• talkative skull
• talking spade
• tangle of copper wire
• tangle of rat tails
• tangled mass of creepy pasta
• tankard of ale
• tankard of spiced Goldschlepper
• tankard of spiced rum
• tapped black lotus
• tarnished bottlecap
• tarnished luggage key
• tarnished tastevin
• tattered paper crown
• tattoo gun
• tattoo of two turkeys
• tea for one
• teacher's pen
• tearaway pants
• temperance whiskey
• temporary X tattoos
• temporary tribal tattoo
• temporary yak tattoo
• tempura air
• tempura green and red bean
• tennis ball
• terra cotta tambourine
• terra cotta tidbits
• terra cotta tie tack
• terra cotta tongs
• terra cotta train
• terra cotta trousers
• terra cotta truss
• terra panna cotta
• testy toolbox
• thanksgiving bomb
• thanksgiving turkey
• that gum you like
• the Archwizard's briefs
• the Crymbich Manuscript
• the Crymbich Manuscript (used)
• the Ley Incursion's waist
• the finger
• the funk
• the kindest cold cut
• the most dangerous bait
• thermos of "whiskey"
• thick walrus blubber
• thicksilver ring
• thicksilver spurs
• thin gold wire
• third ear
• third-hand lantern
• thought balloon
• three-legged pants
• thriftshop coupon
• throwin' ember
• throwing candy
• throwing fork
• throwing knife
• throwing spoon
• ticksilver ring
• ticksilver spurs
• tie-dye headband
• tie-dyed fannypack
• tied-up flaming leaflet
• tied-up flaming monstera
• tied-up leaviathan
• tightly-wound spine
• time helmet
• time residue
• time shuriken
• time sword
• time trousers
• time-twitching toolbelt
• tin cup
• tin drum
• tin foil
• tin of submardines
• tin rations
• tin roof (rusted)
• tin snips
• tin star
• tin tam
• tin thermos of chai
• tinsel fin
• tinsel orb
• tiny Tina gun
• tiny baby scorpion
• tiny barrel
• tiny bomb
• tiny bowler
• tiny canopic jar
• tiny consolation ribbon
• tiny dancer
• tiny die-cast Bashful the Reindeer
• tiny die-cast CrimboTown Toy Factory
• tiny die-cast Doc the Reindeer
• tiny die-cast Don Crimbo
• tiny die-cast Dopey the Reindeer
• tiny die-cast Father Crimbo
• tiny die-cast Father Crimborg
• tiny die-cast Grumpy the Reindeer
• tiny die-cast Happy the Reindeer
• tiny die-cast Rudolphus of Crimborg
• tiny die-cast Sleepy the Reindeer
• tiny die-cast Sneezy the Reindeer
• tiny die-cast Swiss hen
• tiny die-cast Uncle Hobo
• tiny die-cast Unionize the Elves Sign
• tiny die-cast Zeppo the Reindeer
• tiny die-cast arc-welding Elfborg
• tiny die-cast blade a-spinning
• tiny die-cast death ray in a pear tree
• tiny die-cast factory worker elf
• tiny die-cast gift-wrapping elf
• tiny die-cast golden ring
• tiny die-cast goose a-laying
• tiny die-cast killing bird
• tiny die-cast middle-management elf
• tiny die-cast pencil-pusher elf
• tiny die-cast ribbon-cutting Elfborg
• tiny die-cast stocking-stuffer elf
• tiny die-cast swarm a-swarming
• tiny die-cast turtle mech
• tiny domino mask
• tiny ember
• tiny frozen prehistoric meteorite jawbreaker
• tiny glowing red nose
• tiny goth giant
• tiny handful of mixed nuts
• tiny plastic "Santa Claus"
• tiny plastic Abuela Crimbo
• tiny plastic Abuela's cottage
• tiny plastic Ancient Unspeakable Bugbear
• tiny plastic Armory
• tiny plastic Bar
• tiny plastic Battlesuit Bugbear Type
• tiny plastic Beebee King
• tiny plastic Bugbear Captain
• tiny plastic Café Elf
• tiny plastic Cafe
• tiny plastic Captain Kerkard
• tiny plastic Charity the Zombie Hunter
• tiny plastic Cheer Core
• tiny plastic ChibiBuddy™
• tiny plastic Clancy the Minstrel
• tiny plastic Colonel Brando
• tiny plastic Crimbo caroler
• tiny plastic Crimbo cheer
• tiny plastic Crimbodhisattva
• tiny plastic Crimbomega
• tiny plastic Crimborgatron
• tiny plastic Crimbot
• tiny plastic Dolph Bossin
• tiny plastic Duke Starkiller
• tiny plastic Easter Island Bunny
• tiny plastic Factory
• tiny plastic Father McGruber
• tiny plastic GORM-8
• tiny plastic Gaia'ajh-dsli Ak'lwej
• tiny plastic Gary Claybender
• tiny plastic Hank North, Photojournalist
• tiny plastic Jared the Duskwalker
• tiny plastic Jedediah and Boiling Cloud
• tiny plastic K.R.A.M.P.U.S.
• tiny plastic Knows About Chakras
• tiny plastic Krampus
• tiny plastic Lord Flameface
• tiny plastic MechaElf
• tiny plastic Mer-kin baker
• tiny plastic Mirth
• tiny plastic Norville Rogers
• tiny plastic Penny
• tiny plastic Professor What
• tiny plastic Queen Bee
• tiny plastic Rene C. Corman
• tiny plastic Rudolph the Red
• tiny plastic Scott the Miner
• tiny plastic St. Patrick
• tiny plastic Tammy the Tambourine Elf
• tiny plastic The Silent Nightmare
• tiny plastic Toybot
• tiny plastic Uncle Crimboku
• tiny plastic Wu Tang the Betrayer
• tiny plastic Your Brain
• tiny plastic ambulatory robo-minecart
• tiny plastic angry space marine
• tiny plastic angry vikings
• tiny plastic animelf
• tiny plastic bad vibe
• tiny plastic batbugbear
• tiny plastic bee swarm
• tiny plastic beebee gunners
• tiny plastic beebee queue
• tiny plastic black ops bugbear
• tiny plastic blazing bat
• tiny plastic bugaboo
• tiny plastic buzzerker
• tiny plastic caboose
• tiny plastic cavebugbear
• tiny plastic chem lab
• tiny plastic coal car
• tiny plastic dining car
• tiny plastic dolphin "orphan"
• tiny plastic exo-suited miner
• tiny plastic fire servant
• tiny plastic food lab
• tiny plastic four-shadowed mime
• tiny plastic golden gundam
• tiny plastic hypodermic bugbear
• tiny plastic locomotive
• tiny plastic mime executive
• tiny plastic mime functionary
• tiny plastic mime scientist
• tiny plastic mime soldier
• tiny plastic moneybee
• tiny plastic multi-level marketer
• tiny plastic mumblebee
• tiny plastic nog lab
• tiny plastic orphan
• tiny plastic passenger car
• tiny plastic peacannon
• tiny plastic primary lab
• tiny plastic reindeer
• tiny plastic sea elf
• tiny plastic semi-autonomous drill unit
• tiny plastic spiderbugbear
• tiny plastic spoiler
• tiny plastic sword
• tiny plastic taco-clad Crimbo elf
• tiny plastic the Free Man
• tiny plastic warbear
• tiny plastic warbear fortress
• tiny plastic wild beaver
• tiny plastic yuleviathan
• tiny stillsuit
• toast with cold jelly
• toast with hot jelly
• toast with sleaze jelly
• toast with spooky jelly
• toast with stench jelly
• toggle switch (Bartend)
• toggle switch (Bounce)
• tomato soup poster
• tommy gun
• tongue depressor
• tonguebone
• tonic djinn
• tonic o' Banderas
• tooth cap
• toothy trousers
• topeé
• topiary necktie
• topiary noseplugs
• topiary nugglet
• topiary skunk
• topiary tights
• torn hellseal sinew
• torquoise
• tortoise's blessing
• totally sweet mohawk helmet
• toxic globule
• toxic mop
• toxo
• toy Crimbot mega face
• toy Crimbot power glove
• toy Crimbot rocket legs
• toy Crimbot super fist
• toy accordion
• toy sixgun
• toy taijijian
• traditional Crimbo cookie
• train whistle
• training scroll: Shattering Punch
• training scroll: Shivering Monkey Technique
• training scroll: Snokebomb
• trampled ticket stub
• transdermal smoke patch
• transmission from planet Xi
• transparent nog
• transparent pants
• traumatic holiday memory
• trench coat
• trench lighter
• triad summoning scroll
• trick coin
• triggerfingerbone
• triple barreled barrel gun
• troll britches
• tropical Crimbo pressie
• tropical island souvenir crate
• trusty torch
• tryptophan dart
• tube of herbal ointment
• tube of pendulum lube
• tube of villain white
• turchucken
• turkey blaster
• turkish mostaccioli
• turtle mud
• turtle pheromones
• turtle voicebox
• turtle wax
• turtle wax shield
• turtle-shaped rock
• turtlemail bits
• turtlemail breeches
• turtlemail coif
• turtlemail hauberk
• turtling rod
• twice-haunted screwdriver
• twinkly nuggets
• twinkly powder
• twist of lime
• twisted piece of wire
• twisted-up wet towel
• twitching space egg
• twitching time capsule
• twitching trigger finger
• two meat muck
• ultimate wad
• ultra-deluxe cupcake
• ultra-soft ferns
• ultracalcium
• una poca de gracia
• unappetizing mayolus
• unbearable light
• unbreakable umbrella
• uncanny desk bell
• uncapped blue lava bottle
• uncapped green lava bottle
• uncapped red lava bottle
• undamaged Unbreakable Umbrella
• underwater slingshot
• undrilled cosmic bowling ball
• unearthed volcanic meteoroid
• unearthly onyx
• unevolved organism
• unfinished fruitcake
• unfinished ice sculpture
• unfinished pleasure
• unflavored wine cooler
• unholy water
• uniclops egg
• unidentifiable dried fruit
• unidentified drink
• uninteresting mayolus
• universal biscuit
• unnamed cocktail
• unnatural gas
• unoccupied sheep suit
• unopened Bird-a-Day calendar
• unopened diabolic pizza cube box
• unopened tiny stillsuit
• unpowered Robortender
• unquiet spirits
• unremarkable duffel bag
• unrequired jacket
• unrolling pin
• unsanitized scalpel
• unsmoothed velvet
• untamable turtle
• untorn tearaway pants package
• unused soap
• unused walkie-talkie
• unusual disco ball
• unusual oil
• unwound cymbal-playing monkey
• unwound mechanical songbird
• unwrapped knock-off retro superhero cape
• used beer
• valuable coin
• vampagne
• vampire chowder
• vampire glitter
• vampire pellet
• vampyric cloake
• vampyric cloake pattern
• van key
• vanilla-frosted king cake
• veiny spore pod
• velour valise
• velour vambraces
• velour vaqueros
• velour veil
• velour veneer
• velour viscometer
• velour voulge
• vengeful spirit
• vertebra of the Bonerdagon
• very fancy whiskey
• very hot lunch
• very large caltrop
• very overdue library book
• very small red dress
• vesper
• vial of Gnomochloric acid
• vial of The Glistening
• vial of blood simple syrup
• vial of holy water
• vial of hot blood
• vial of humanoid growth hormone
• vial of patchouli oil
• vial of swamp vapors
• vibrating mushroom
• vicious spiked collar
• vintage smart drink
• violent pastilles
• viral DNA
• viral video
• virgin jello shot
• viscous lava globs
• vitamin G pill
• vodka barracuda
• vodka stinger
• void burger
• void lager
• void shard
• void stone
• voodoo doll
• voodoo glowskull
• voter registration form
• votive candle
• votive of confidence
• wad of Crovacite
• wad of cotton
• wad of spider silk
• waders
• waffle
• walkie-talkie
• wand of pigification
• warbear LP-ROM burner
• warbear accoutrements chunk
• warbear auto-anvil
• warbear badge
• warbear battery
• warbear battle greaves
• warbear bearserker greaves
• warbear bearserker mead
• warbear bearserker potion
• warbear beeping telegram
• warbear black box
• warbear blizzard mead
• warbear breakfast machine
• warbear breakfast machine assembler
• warbear ceremonial party pants
• warbear chemistry lab
• warbear dress bracers
• warbear dress greaves
• warbear dress helmet
• warbear drone assembler
• warbear drone codes
• warbear electric long johns
• warbear electric warscarf
• warbear electro-spiked helm
• warbear empathy chip
• warbear empathy chip (used)
• warbear energy bracers
• warbear exhaust manifold
• warbear exo-arm
• warbear fancy fedora
• warbear feasting bread
• warbear feasting mead
• warbear feathered fedora
• warbear fleece-lined long johns
• warbear fleece-lined warscarf
• warbear foil hat
• warbear goggles
• warbear gyro
• warbear gyrocopter
• warbear heated ushanka
• warbear helm fragment
• warbear high festival pants
• warbear high-efficiency still
• warbear hoverbelt
• warbear hoverbelt piecepart
• warbear induction oven
• warbear jackhammer drill press
• warbear laser beacon
• warbear laser bowtie
• warbear lined ushanka
• warbear liquid lasers
• warbear liquid overcoat
• warbear long johns
• warbear metalworking primer
• warbear metalworking primer (used)
• warbear nuclear bowtie
• warbear officer greaves
• warbear officer requisition box
• warbear oil pan
• warbear party pants
• warbear plain fedora
• warbear plain helm
• warbear plain ushanka
• warbear plasma bowtie
• warbear polarized goggles
• warbear procedural hilarity drone
• warbear rejuvenation potion
• warbear requisition box
• warbear robo-camouflage unit
• warbear sequential gaiety distribution system
• warbear snowblindness goggles
• warbear soda machine
• warbear soda machine assembler
• warbear spiked helm
• warbear superpotion
• warbear thermoregulator bread
• warbear trouser fragment
• warbear wardance potion
• warbear warrior bread
• warbear warscarf
• warbear whosit
• wardrobe-o-matic
• warehouse clerk's glasses
• warehouse key
• warehouse walkie-talkie
• warm El Vibrato drone
• warm fur
• warm gravy
• warm war shawarma
• washboard shield
• water balloon
• water log
• water purification pills
• water wings for babies
• water-polo cap
• water-polo mitt
• watered-down Red Minotaur
• waterlogged cloth
• waterlogged leather
• waterlogged metal
• waterlogged stuffing
• waterlogged wood
• watermelon
• watermelon seed
• wax banana
• wax booze
• wax face
• wax hand
• wax hat
• wax pancake
• wax pants
• weasel stomping pants
• weathered barrel
• webbed comic mask
• weedy skirt
• weighted paperclip chain
• weird gazelle steak
• western-style skinning knife
• wet tack
• whale cerebrospinal fluid
• whalecake
• whalegun
• whalesteak
• whatsit-covered turtle shell
• wheel of camembert
• whet stone
• whimpering willow bark
• whirled peas
• whiskey in a broken glass
• whiskey squeeze
• white Crimbo ball
• white Dreadsylvanian
• white arm towel
• white blood cells
• white candygram
• white earbuds
• white elephant gift
• white mana
• white money bag
• white page
• white tulip
• white wine
• white-label gin
• whole roasted chicken
• whole turkey leg
• wicker clicker
• wicker kickers
• wicker knickers
• wicker slicker
• wicker sticker
• wicker ticker
• wickerbits
• wicksilver ring
• wicksilver spurs
• wind-up Whatsian robot
• wind-up ensign
• wind-up navigation droid
• wind-up owl
• wind-up spider
• wind-up vampire teeth
• windicle
• wine-soaked bone chips
• wings of fire
• witch wart
• witch's bra
• witch's bread
• witch's brew
• woim
• woimbook
• wolf whistle
• wolfskull mask
• wood screw
• wooden spoon
• wool sock
• wooly loincloth
• worksite credentials
• world's most unappetizing beverage
• wormwood stick
• wormwood wedding ring
• worst candy
• woven baling wire bracelets
• wrapped candy cane sword cane
• wrapping paper
• wrench bracelet
• wrestling mask
• wriggling severed nose
• wriggling worm
• writhing drippy candy bar
• wrought-iron flakes
• wrought-iron waders
• wrought-iron walker
• wrought-iron whisk
• wrought-iron widget
• wrought-iron wig
• wrought-iron winch crank
• wumpus hair
• wumpus-hair bolo
• wumpus-hair loincloth
• wumpus-hair net
• wumpus-hair sweater
• wumpus-hair whip
• wumpus-hair wig
• x-ray mirror
• xo-skeleton-in-a-box
• yabba dabba doo rag
• yak skin
• yam
• yam and swiss
• yam battery
• yam burrito
• yam martini
• yam mayo
• yam slider
• yellow candygram
• yellow glowstick
• yellow pixel
• yellow pixel potion
• yellow puck
• yellow puck with a bow on it
• yellow rocket
• yellow seashell
• yellow traffic cone
• yield shield
• your own black heart
• yule grog
• yule gruel
• yule hatchet
• yule pup
• zombie
• zombie accordion
• zombie dinosaur egg
• zombie hollandaise
• zombie mariachi hat
• zombie mariachi pants
• zombie monkey necklace