In their foolhardy quest to collect every item, this player comes 4,584 short.

• Franken Stein
• "Humorous" T-shirt
• "I survived Y2K" T-Shirt
• "Remember the Trees" Shirt
• "caramel" orange
• "honey" dipper
• 'Villa' document
• 1 Meat
• 1,970 carat gold
• 1.21 jigawatts
• 100-Watt bulb
• 11-leaf clover
• 17-ball
• 18-picohertz resonator crystal
• 20-lb can of rice and beans
• 2002 Mr. Store Catalog
• 4-dimensional fez
• 5-hour acrimony
• A Beginner's Guide to Charming Snakes (used)
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 1 (used)
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 2
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 3 (used)
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 4 (used)
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 5 (used)
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 6 (used)
• A Guide to Burning Leaves
• A Guide to Safari
• Abuela Crimbo's special magnet
• Acqua Del Piatto Merlot
• Acque Luride Grezze Cabernet
• Admiral's hat
• Adventurer bobblehead
• Adventurer's Kit
• Aerheads
• Affirmation Cookie
• Afternoon Delight
• Agent Mauve
• Agitated Turkey
• Aiolion
• Aldebaran sardines
• Alexy sauce
• Alice's Army Foil Alchemist
• Alice's Army Foil Bowman
• Alice's Army Foil Cleric
• Alice's Army Foil Coward
• Alice's Army Foil Dervish
• Alice's Army Foil Guard
• Alice's Army Foil Halberder
• Alice's Army Foil Hammerman
• Alice's Army Foil Horseman
• Alice's Army Foil Lanceman
• Alice's Army Foil Mad Bomber
• Alice's Army Foil Martyr
• Alice's Army Foil Ninja
• Alice's Army Foil Nurse
• Alice's Army Foil Page
• Alice's Army Foil Shieldmaiden
• Alice's Army Foil Sniper
• Alice's Army Foil Spearsman
• Alice's Army Foil Swordsman
• Alice's Army Foil Wallman
• Alice's Army Foil tattoo
• Alice's Army booster box
• All-Hallow's Steve's fright wig
• Amanitee
• Amnesiac Ale
• Amoon-Ra Cowtep's nemes
• Amulet of Perpetual Darkness
• Anniversary Miniature Sword & Martini Guy
• Annual Ascot
• Antagonistic Snowman Kit
• Apathargic Bandersnatch
• Apriling band helmet
• Arr, M80
• Arrow (+1)
• Ascension Souvenir T-Shirt
• Asdon Martin keyfob (on ring)
• Atomic Pop
• Autobiography Of Dynamite Superman Jones (used)
• AutumnFest ale
• Azurite
• BACON
• BGE pocket calendar
• Baja sopapilla
• Banfoy's Boutique Order Form
• Bastille Battalion Fondue Trophy
• Bastille Battalion cheese wheel
• Bastille Battalion control rig
• Bastille Battalion control rig crate
• Bastille Battalion control rig loaner voucher
• Bastille Battalion tattoo kit
• Batfellow comic
• Beach Comb
• Beach Comb Box
• Bee's Knees
• Beefy Crunch Pastaco
• Belt of Loathing
• Better Shrooms and Gardens catalog
• Bettie page
• Bicycle
• Bigger Bugfinder Blade
• Bird-a-Day calendar
• BittyCar HotCar
• BittyCar MeatCar
• Black Angus blackburger
• Black Bart's Booty
• Black and White Apron Enrollment Form
• Black and White Apron Meal Kit
• Bloodbath
• Bloody Nora
• Bluzzard
• Boletus Broletus mushroom
• Boltsmann ID badge
• Book of Old-Timey Carols
• Booke of Vampyric Knowledge
• Boosty Juice
• Boris's beer
• Boris's bread
• Boulevardier cocktail
• Bowl of Infinite Jelly
• Bowlet
• Boxing Day Pass
• Boxing Day care package
• Brain Food Pastaco
• Brandonian footlocker key
• Breathitin™
• Brimstone Bludgeon
• Brimstone Bracelet
• Brimstone Brooch
• Brimstone Bunker
• Brogre brolo shirt
• Brogre brorts
• Brogre bucket hat
• Buddy Bjorn
• Bugfinder Blade
• Build-a-City Gingerbread kit
• Bustle Hustler
• Buttery Boy
• Byte
• C.B.F.G.
• CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 1) (used)
• CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 2) (used)
• CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 3) (used)
• CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 4) (used)
• CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 5) (used)
• Calzone of Legend
• Camp Scout backpack
• Can of Spaghetto
• Cantelope
• Caramel
• Cargo Cultist Shorts
• Carol of the Bulls
• Carol of the Bulls (used)
• Carol of the Hells
• Carol of the Hells (used)
• Carol of the Thrills
• Carol of the Thrills (used)
• Carpathian longsword
• Carpricorn
• Cat-Herding Prod
• Celsius 233
• Celsius 233 (singed)
• Centauri fish wine
• Champagne Shimmy
• Charleston Choo-Choo
• Charleston shoes
• Charter: Nellyville
• Chateau Mantegna room key
• Ched
• Cheer-Up soda
• Chef Boy, R&D's business card
• Cheshire Bitten
• Chester's Aquarius medallion
• Chester's muscle shirt
• ChibiBuddy™ (on)
• Children's Meal of the Damned
• Choco-Mint patty
• Choker of the Ultragoth
• Chorale of Companionship
• Christmas ham
• Chroner cross
• Chroner trigger
• Chubby and Plump bar
• Churchill
• Cincho de Mayo
• Clan Carnival Game
• Clan Floundry
• Clan VIP Lounge invitation
• Clan VIP Lounge key
• Clan hot dog stand
• Clan looking glass
• Clan pool table
• Clan shower
• Clan speakeasy
• Clara's bell
• Cobra Bowl
• Cocktails of the Age of Sail
• Cocktails of the Age of Sail (used)
• Coinspiracy
• Cold Fang
• Colera Peste Nebbiolo
• Comet Drop
• Comma Chameleon egg
• Comprehensive Cartographic Compendium
• Comprehensive Cartographic Compendium (well-read)
• Congressional Medal of Insanity
• Conspiracy™ mascara
• Convincing People You Can See The Future
• Cool Brunch Pastaco
• Cornbeefadon
• Counterclockwise Watch
• Covert Ops for Kids
• Covert Ops for Kids (used)
• Crimbeau de toilette
• Crimbo Carol tattoo kit
• Crimbo Cheer tattoo kit
• Crimbo Commerce tattoo kit
• Crimbo Elf creepy bobble-head
• Crimbo Factory surprise box
• Crimbo P. R. E. S. S. I. E.
• Crimbo bottomless hot cocoa mug
• Crimbo candle
• Crimbo cookie sheet
• Crimbo crystal shards
• Crimbo dinner
• Crimbo dog sweater
• Crimbo food scraps
• Crimbo hat
• Crimbo light-up Rudolph doll
• Crimbo pants
• Crimbo pressie
• Crimbo salad
• Crimbo sapling
• Crimbo smile
• Crimbo stocking
• Crimbo stockings
• Crimbo stogie-scented room odorizer
• Crimbo sword
• Crimbo tattoo kit
• Crimbo train emergency brake
• Crimbo training manual
• Crimbo tree flocker
• Crimbo ukulele
• Crimbolex watch
• Crimbosmopolitan
• Crimbot schematic: Bug Zapper
• Crimbot schematic: Hoverjack
• Crimbot schematic: Lamp Filler
• Crimbot schematic: Ribbon Manipulator
• Crimbot schematic: Rocket Skirt
• Crimbot schematic: Swiss Arm
• Crimbot schematic: Wrecking Ball
• Crimbough
• Crimbow Rainbo
• Crimboween memo
• Crimboysters Rockefeller
• Crimbuccaneer bombjacket
• Crimbuccaneer breeches
• Crimbuccaneer captain's purse
• Crimbuccaneer fledges (disintegrating)
• Crimbuccaneer fledges (mint)
• Crimbuccaneer flotsam
• Crimbuccaneer invasion map
• Crimbuccaneer lantern
• Crimbuccaneer mologrog cocktail
• Crimbuccaneer nose ring
• Crimbuccaneer piece of 12
• Crimbuccaneer premium booty sack
• Crimbuccaneer rigging lasso
• Crimbuccaneer runebone
• Crimbuccaneer shirt
• Crimbuccaneer squirtblunderbuss
• Crimbuccaneer tattoo gift certificate
• Crimbuccaneer tavern swab
• Crimbuccaneer tricorn
• Crimbuccaneer war standard
• Crimbuccaneer whale oil
• Crimbylow-rise jeans
• Crown of Thrones
• Cycloney
• DIY protonic accelerator kit
• DNOTC Box
• DUFRESNE Suds
• Dad's brandy
• Daily Affirmation: Adapt to Change Eventually
• Daily Affirmation: Always be Collecting
• Daily Affirmation: Be Superficially interested
• Daily Affirmation: Be a Mind Master
• Daily Affirmation: Keep Free Hate in your Heart
• Daily Affirmation: Think Win-Lose
• Daily Affirmation: Work For Hours a Week
• Daisy's unclean bloomers
• Dallas Dynasty Falcon Crest shield
• Dark Jill-O-Lantern
• Dark Jill-of-All-Trades
• Daylight Shavings Helmet
• Deactivated MiniMechaElf
• Deactivated O. A. F.
• Dear Past Self Package
• Deck of Every Card
• Deep Dish of Legend
• Deep Machine Tunnels snowglobe
• Devil's Elbow Hot Sauce
• Diamond HP-35 Calculator
• Dinsey Whinskey
• Dinsey face paint
• Dinsey food-cone
• Dinsey's brain
• Dinsey's glove
• Dinsey's oculus
• Dinsey's pants
• Dinsey's pizza cutter
• Dinsey's radar dish
• Discontent™ Winter Garden Catalog
• Discount Telescope Warehouse gift certificate
• Disgeist
• Dish of Clarified Butter
• Distant Woods Getaway Brochure
• Doc Clock's thyme cocktail
• Doc's Fortifying Wine
• Doc's Limbering Wine
• Doc's Medical-Grade Wine
• Doc's Miracle Cure
• Doc's Smartifying Wine
• Doc's Special Reserve Wine
• Doll Moll violin case
• Dolph Bossin's Crimbo hat
• Dolph Bossin's charity note
• Dragonscale breastplate
• Dreadsylvania Auditor's badge
• Dreadsylvanian clockwork key
• Dreadsylvanian cold pocket
• Dreadsylvanian hemlock
• Dreadsylvanian hot pocket
• Dreadsylvanian seed pod
• Dreadsylvanian shepherd's pie
• Dreadsylvanian sleaze pocket
• Dreadsylvanian spooky pocket
• Dreadsylvanian stink pocket
• Dressage
• Drip Institute petri dish
• Drip harness
• Driplet
• Dripwood slab
• Drunk Uncles holo-record
• Drunkula's cape
• Drunkula's ring of haze
• Drunkula's wineglass
• Duke Vampire's regal cloak
• Dungeon Fist gauntlet
• Dust bunny
• Dweebisol™ inhaler
• EMD holo-record
• Earring of Fire
• Easter eggnog
• Easter grasshopper
• Ed the Undying exhibit crate
• Egnaro berry
• Eight Days a Week Pill Keeper
• El Vibrato drone
• El Vibrato punchcard (104 holes)
• El Vibrato punchcard (115 holes)
• El Vibrato punchcard (129 holes)
• El Vibrato punchcard (142 holes)
• El Vibrato punchcard (165 holes)
• El Vibrato punchcard (176 holes)
• El Vibrato punchcard (182 holes)
• El Vibrato punchcard (213 holes)
• El Vibrato punchcard (216 holes)
• El Vibrato punchcard (88 holes)
• El Vibrato punchcard (97 holes)
• El Vibrato restraints
• El Vibrato translator
• El Vibrato trapezoid
• Eldritch Intellect: Journey into a Mind of Horror
• Eldritch snap
• Electric Punch
• Elf Army machine parts
• Elf Guard Field Manual: Culinary Arts
• Elf Guard Field Manual: Culinary Arts (used)
• Elf Guard Field Manual: Extortion
• Elf Guard Field Manual: Extortion (used)
• Elf Guard Field Manual: Wilderness Sleeping
• Elf Guard Field Manual: Wilderness Sleeping (used)
• Elf Guard MPC
• Elf Guard SCUBA tank
• Elf Guard broom
• Elf Guard clipboard
• Elf Guard commandeering gloves
• Elf Guard eyedrops
• Elf Guard fuel tank
• Elf Guard hangover cure
• Elf Guard honor present
• Elf Guard hotpants
• Elf Guard insignia (general)
• Elf Guard insignia (private)
• Elf Guard mouthknife
• Elf Guard officer's sidearm
• Elf Guard patrol cap
• Elf Guard payroll bag
• Elf Guard red and white beret
• Elf Guard safety bear
• Elf Guard squirtgun
• Elf Guard strategic map
• Elf Guard temporary (permanent) tattoo
• Elf Guard tinsel grenade
• Elf Guard war standard
• Elizabeth's Dollie
• Ellsbury's journal
• Elron's Explosive Etude
• Elvish delight
• Elvish underarmor
• Emblem of Ak'gyxoth
• Enchanted Flyswatter
• Energy Buzz Pastaco
• Engorged Sausages and You
• Essence of Annoyance
• Essence of Bear
• Everfull Dart Holster
• Extrovermectin™
• Eye Agate
• Eye and a Twist
• Fabiotion
• Falcon™ Maltese Liquor
• Fancy Jeff's fancy pocket square
• FantasyRealm Mage's Hat
• FantasyRealm Rogue's Mask
• FantasyRealm Warrior's Helm
• FantasyRealm guest pass
• FantasyRealm key
• FantasyRealm mead
• FantasyRealm membership packet
• FantasyRealm tattoo kit
• FantasyRealm turkey leg
• Faux
• Feliz Navidad
• Ferita Del Petto Zinfandel
• Ferrigno's Elixir of Power
• Fettris
• Field Guide to Skeletal Anatomy (shredded)
• Finnish Fish
• First Post shirt - Cir Senam
• First Post shirt package
• Five Second Energy™
• Flag by the Foot™
• Flan
• Flash Liquidizer Ultra Dousing Accessory
• Fleshazole™
• Flivver
• Fly-By-Knight Heraldry form
• Folder Holder
• Former Sheriff Dan's tin star
• Fourth of May Cosplay Saber
• Fourth of May Cosplay Saber kit
• Frank Gorshin trophy
• French bronilla brogurt
• French slippers
• French-Transylvanian Dictionary
• Friendly Turkey
• Frigid Northern Beans
• Frosty's iceball
• FunFunds™
• Gabarbar
• GameInformPowerDailyPro subscription card
• Garland of Greatness
• Gathered Meat-Clip
• Gazelleton
• Gene Tonic: Construct
• Gene Tonic: Demon
• Gene Tonic: Elemental
• Gene Tonic: Elf
• Gene Tonic: Goblin
• Gene Tonic: Hobo
• Gene Tonic: Horror
• Gene Tonic: Insect
• Gene Tonic: Orc
• Gene Tonic: Penguin
• Gene Tonic: Weird
• General Assembly Module
• Ghiaccio Colada
• Ghosprey
• Giant black monolith
• Ginsu™
• Glamare
• Glenn's golden dice
• Globmule
• Glum berry
• Gnollish sangria
• Gnomish sagngria
• Gnomish toolbox
• God Lobster Egg
• Goggles of Loathing
• Golden HP-35 Calculator
• Golden Kokomo Resort Chip
• Golden Light
• Golden Mr. Eh?
• Good 'n' Quiet
• Good 'n' Slimy
• Gordon Beer's Beer Garden Catalog
• Gorillape
• Granny Hackleton's Gatling gun
• Granny Tood's Thanksgarden Catalog
• Gratitude chocolate (Meat-filled)
• Gratitude chocolate (bourbon-filled)
• Gratitude chocolate (octopus-filled)
• Gratitude chocolate (thyme-filled)
• Great Ball of Frozen Fire
• Great S-Cape
• Great Wolf's beastly trousers
• Great Wolf's left paw
• Great Wolf's lice
• Greatest American Pants
• Greek fire
• Gregarious Gregorian Smock
• Grey Guanon
• Grim Brothers' story book
• Grimacite Bock
• Grimacite gaiters
• Grimacite galoshes
• Grimacite garter
• Grimacite gasmask
• Grimacite gat
• Grimacite gauntlets
• Grimacite girdle
• Grimacite glaive
• Grimacite go-go boots
• Grimacite goggles
• Grimacite gorget
• Grimacite gown
• Grimacite greaves
• Grimacite guayabera
• Grumpy Bumpkin's Pumpkin Seed Catalog
• Gummi-Gnauga
• Gummi-Memory
• Guzzlr application
• Guzzlr cocktail set
• Guzzlr hat
• Guzzlr pants
• Guzzlr shoes
• Guzzlr souvenir stein
• Guzzlr tablet
• Guzzlr tattoo kit
• Guzzlrbuck
• Gygaxian Libram
• Gyromitra Dynomita mushroom
• HOA zombie eyes
• HP-35 Calculator
• Handsome Devil
• Hanukkimbo dreidl
• Hat O' Nine Tails
• Heimz Fortified Kidney Beans
• Hell and How I Bent It
• Hellfire Spicy Beans
• Helps-You-Sleep
• Helvella Haemophilia mushroom
• Hersey™ SMOOCH
• Hide-rox™ cookie
• Highest Bitter
• History's Most Offensive Jokes, Vol. IX
• Hodgman's bow tie
• Hodgman's disgusting technicolor overcoat
• Hodgman's garbage sticker
• Hodgman's imaginary hamster
• Hodgman's journal #1: The Lean Times
• Hodgman's journal #2: Entrepreneurythmics
• Hodgman's lucky sock
• Hodgman's metal detector
• Hodgman's porkpie hat
• Hodgman's varcolac paw
• Hodgman's whackin' stick
• Holiday Fun!
• Holiday Hal's Happy-Time Fun Book!
• Holiday Multitasking
• Holiday Multitasking (used)
• Homebodyl™
• Horsery contract
• Hot Socks
• Hotwire™ brand candy rope
• How To Get Bigger Without Really Trying
• How to Hold a Grudge
• How to Lose Friends and Attract Snakes
• How to Lose Friends and Attract Snakes (used)
• How to Tolerate Jerks
• Hoyle's Guide to Reindeer Games
• Hoyle's Guide to Reindeer Games (used)
• Huggler Radio
• Hundred Headed IPA
• Ice Island Long Tea
• Idol of Ak'gyxoth
• Illustrated Mating Rituals of the Gallapagos
• Inigo's Incantation of Inspiration
• Inigo's Incantation of Inspiration (crumpled)
• Inndya trading card
• Inner Strength
• Inner Truth
• Inner Wisdom
• Irish Coffee, English Heart
• Irish eggnog
• Ish Kabibble
• Island Drinkin', a Tiki Mixology Odyssey
• Island Hurricane
• Island Landslide
• Island Thunderstorm
• Item #13
• Iunion Crown
• Jack-O-Lantern beer
• Jamaican coffee
• Jamocha berry
• January's Garbage Tote
• January's Garbage Tote (unopened)
• Jarlsberg's pan
• Jarlsberg's pan (Cosmic portal mode)
• Jarlsberg's vegetable soup
• Jeans of Loathing
• Jekyllin hide belt
• Jeppson's Malort
• Jerks' Health™ Magazine
• Jick's autograph
• Jick-o-User
• Jokester makeup
• June cleaver
• Jungle Juice
• Junior Adventurer's kit
• Junior Adventurer's merit badge
• Junior LAAAAME merit badge
• Jurassic Parka
• Keese berry
• Kelflar vest
• Kiss the Knob apron
• Knob shroomkabob
• Knoll stir-fry
• KoL Con 12-gauge
• KoL Con 13 T-shirt
• KoL Con 13 snowglobe
• KoL Con 3-D Glasses
• KoL Con 8-Bit power bracelet
• KoL Con Cinco Piñata Bat
• KoL Con IV Pole
• KoL Con Six Pack
• KoL Con X Bingo Card
• KoL Con X Treasure Map
• KoLHS Pep Squad Box
• Kokomo Resort Brand Suntan Oil
• Kokomo Resort Chip
• Kokomo Resort Order Pad
• Kokomo Resort Pass
• Kramco Industries packing carton
• Kramco Sausage-o-Matic™
• Krampus Horn
• Kremlin's Greatest Briefcase
• Kudzu salad
• Kudzu slaw
• L.I.M.P. Stock Certificate
• LARP carp
• LARP membership card
• LED candle
• LI-11 Motor Pool voucher
• LIDAR candle
• LOLmec statuette
• LOV Echinacea Bouquet
• LOV Elephant
• LOV Elixir #3
• LOV Elixir #6
• LOV Elixir #9
• LOV Emotionizer
• LOV Enamorang
• LOV Entrance Pass
• LOV Extraterrestrial Chocolate
• LT&T tattoo kit
• LT&T telegraph office deed
• Lapis Lazuli
• Lava Miner's Daughter
• LavaCo™ Lamp housing
• Lavalos's shell
• Law of Averages
• Lazenby's Life Lesson
• Leapin' Trousers
• Left-Hand Man action figure
• Lepardner
• Letter from Carrie Bradshaw
• Liam's mail
• Libram of BRICKOs
• Libram of Candy Heart Summoning
• Libram of Divine Favors
• Libram of Love Songs
• Libram of Pulled Taffy
• License To Kill
• License to Chill
• Lil' Doctor™ bag
• Lil' Snowball Factory
• Little Crimson Book
• Little Geneticist DNA-Splicing Lab
• Living to Drink, Drinking to Live
• Loathing Idol Microphone
• Loathing Idol Microphone (25% charged)
• Loathing Idol Microphone (50% charged)
• Loathing Idol Microphone (75% charged)
• Loathing Legion abacus
• Loathing Legion can opener
• Loathing Legion chainsaw
• Loathing Legion corkscrew
• Loathing Legion defibrillator
• Loathing Legion double prism
• Loathing Legion electric knife
• Loathing Legion flamethrower
• Loathing Legion hammer
• Loathing Legion helicopter
• Loathing Legion jackhammer
• Loathing Legion kitchen sink
• Loathing Legion knife
• Loathing Legion many-purpose hook
• Loathing Legion moondial
• Loathing Legion necktie
• Loathing Legion pizza stone
• Loathing Legion rollerblades
• Loathing Legion tape measure
• Loathing Legion tattoo needle
• Loathing Legion universal screwdriver
• Lolsipop
• London frog
• Louder Than Bomb
• Love Potions and the Wizards who Mix Them
• Lucky Lindy
• Lucky Strikes holo-record
• Ludovico Pastaco
• Lump-Stacking for Beginners
• LyleCo Contractor's Manual
• LyleCo premium magnifying glass
• LyleCo premium monocle
• LyleCo premium pickaxe
• LyleCo premium rope
• MAHI fez
• Mafia bow tie
• Mafia stogie
• Mafia violin case
• Maiali Sifilitici Pinot Noir
• Make-Your-Own-Vampire-Fangs kit
• Mallomarbles
• Mansquito Serum
• Mansquito's blood
• Manual of Lock Picking
• Manual of Numberology
• Manual of Secret Door Detection
• Map to Kokomo
• March hat
• Marltini
• Martialest Arts trophy
• Marvelous Unitard
• Master Thief's utility belt
• MayDay™ contract
• Mayam Calendar
• Mayam spinach
• Mayflower bouquet
• Mayodiol
• Mayoflex
• Mayonex
• Mayor Ghost's gavel
• Mayor Ghost's sash
• Mayor Ghost's scissors
• Mayostat
• Mayozapine
• McPhee's Grimoire of Hilarious Object Summoning
• Meat Butler
• Meatcleaver
• Mechamelion
• Medical Pastaco
• Memories of Beanslinging
• Memories of Cow Punching
• Memories of Snake Oiling
• Memory Disk, Alpha
• Mer-kin cheatsheet
• Mer-kin cookiestove
• Mer-kin dodgeball
• Mer-kin dragnet
• Mer-kin eyedrops
• Mer-kin facecowl
• Mer-kin fitbrine
• Mer-kin gladiator mask
• Mer-kin gladiator tailpiece
• Mer-kin gutgirdle
• Mer-kin healscroll
• Mer-kin hidepaint
• Mer-kin killscroll
• Mer-kin knucklebone
• Mer-kin lipstick
• Mer-kin lunchbox
• Mer-kin mouthsoap
• Mer-kin prayerbeads
• Mer-kin ragejuice
• Mer-kin rollpin
• Mer-kin scholar mask
• Mer-kin scholar tailpiece
• Mer-kin strongjuice
• Mer-kin switchblade
• Mer-kin waistrope
• Mer-kin weaksauce
• Mer-kin wordquiz
• Merc Core Field Manual: Intimidation Techniques
• Merc Core Field Manual: Sanity Maintenance
• Merc Core challenge coin
• Merc Core deployment orders
• Meteoid ice beam
• Meteorite-Ade
• Middle of the Road™ brand whiskey
• MiniMechaElf Laser Punch Missile Launcher
• Miss Graves' vermouth
• Mixed Garbanzos and Chickpeas
• Mjolnir Jr.
• Mmm-brr! brand mouthwash
• Mob Penguin protection contract
• Monster Manuel
• Mornington crescent roll
• Morphan
• Mountain Stream gastrique
• Mr. Accessaturday
• Mr. Accessory
• Mr. Accessory Jr.
• Mr. Big's Wallet
• Mr. Burnsger
• Mr. Container
• Mr. Eh?
• Mr. Exploiter
• Mr. Screege's spectacles
• Mr. Shirt
• Mrs. Rush
• Mt. McLargeHuge oyster
• Mt. Noob Pale Ale
• Mu
• Mudflap-Girl Necklace
• Mudflap-Girl Ring
• Murgatroyd diode
• Mustardigrade
• My First Art of War
• My First Paycheck envelope
• My Life of Crime, a Memoir
• My Own Pen Pal kit
• Mysterious Black Box
• Mysterious Blue Box
• Mysterious Green Box
• Mysterious Island iced tea
• Mysterious Red Box
• Mysterious Stranger
• N. O. Beer
• Nadsat berry
• Napalm In The Morning™ candle
• Nayztameetjoo trading card
• Never Don't Stop Not Striving
• Neverending Party favor
• Neverending Party guest pass
• Neverending Party invitation envelope
• New Age hurting crystal
• New-You Club Membership Form
• Newark
• Newbiesport™ backpack
• Nightmare Fuel
• No Hats as Art
• Nog-on-the-Cob
• Non-Euclidean Finance
• Now You're Cooking With Grease
• Nursine
• O
• Official Council Aide Pin
• Ol' Scratch's infernal pitchfork
• Ol' Scratch's manacles
• Ol' Scratch's stove door
• Omphalotus Omphaloskepsis mushroom
• Oopsie IPA
• Operation Patriot Shield
• Oppossum
• Order of the Green Thumb Order Form
• Oscus's flypaper pants
• Oscus's neverending soda
• Osk'r Chow
• Otorian Battle Scar
• Our Daily Candles™ order form
• PARTY HARD T-shirt
• PB&J with the crusts cut off
• Pack of Alice's Army Foil Cards
• Pack of Every Card
• Pain Dip
• Panda outfit
• Pantsgiving
• Para-Pop
• Party Planning on a Budget
• Party Tattoo™ gift certificate
• Party-in-a-Can™
• Pastaco shell
• Peaclock
• Pecos Dave's sixgun
• Peek-a-Boo!
• Pendant of Gargalesis
• Peppermint Pip Packet
• Periodical Paintbrush
• Pete's rich ricotta
• Pete's wiley whey bar
• Petite Paintbrush
• Phil Collins
• Phlegethon
• Phonus Balonus
• Pillowbug
• Pimpsqueak
• PirateRealm guest pass
• PirateRealm membership packet
• PirateRealm party hat
• Pizza of Legend
• Platinum HP-35 Calculator
• Platinum Yendorian Express Card
• Pneumo bar
• Pocket Guide to Mild Evil
• Pocket Guide to Mild Evil (used)
• Pocket Meteor Guide
• Pocket Meteor Guide (well-thumbed)
• Pocket Professor memory chip
• Pocket Square of Loathing
• Poké-Gro fertilizer
• Pokéfam Guide to Capturing All of Them
• Pop Art: a Guide
• Pork 'n' Pork 'n' Pork 'n' Beans
• Potion of Heroism
• Power-Guy 2000 holo-record
• Powerful Glove
• Prelude of Precision
• Professor of Spelunkology
• Protects-Your-Junk
• Prunets
• Psycho From The Heat
• Puffstone cigar
• Punching Potion
• Purple Beast energy drink
• Quaatorade™
• Quartet of Flare Masters Jacket
• Rümpelstiltz
• R'lyeh
• ROM of Optimality
• Racisto Ruidoso
• Rad-B-Gone (1 lb.)
• Rad-Pro (1 oz.)
• Radio Free Baseball Cap
• Radio Free Foil
• Radio Free Jersey
• Radio Free Pants
• Radio KoL Antenna Ball
• Radio KoL Bottle Opener
• Radio KoL Coffee Mug
• Radio KoL Flashlight
• Radio KoL Keychain
• Radio KoL Maracas
• Radio KoL Patch
• Rainbow Jello Mould
• Rainbow's Gravity
• Ralph IX cognac
• Recipe of Before Yore: Boris's beer
• Recipe of Before Yore: Boris's bread
• Recipe of Before Yore: Calzone of Legend
• Recipe of Before Yore: Deep Dish of Legend
• Recipe of Before Yore: Jarlsberg's vegetable soup
• Recipe of Before Yore: Pete's rich ricotta
• Recipe of Before Yore: Pete's wily whey bar
• Recipe of Before Yore: Pizza of Legend
• Recipe of Before Yore: St. Pete's sneaky smoothie
• Recipe of Before Yore: baked veggie ricotta
• Recipe of Before Yore: honey bun of Boris
• Recipe of Before Yore: plain calzone
• Recipe of Before Yore: ratatouille de Jarlsberg
• Recipe of Before Yore: roasted vegetable focaccia
• Recipe of Before Yore: roasted vegetable of J.
• Red Roger tattoo kit
• Red Roger's red left foot
• Red Roger's red left hand
• Red Roger's red right foot
• Red Roger's red right hand
• Red Roger's reliquary
• Red Roger's skull
• Red Russian
• Retenez L'Herbe Paté
• Rethinking Candy
• Retrospecs
• Retrospecs try-at-home kit
• Riker's Search History
• Rock Garden Guide
• Roman Candelabra
• Royal scepter
• Rubee™
• Ruffalo
• S.A.V.E. flyer
• S.I.T. Course Completion Certificate
• S.I.T. Course Voucher
• S.S. Ticket
• SMOOCH bottlecap
• SMOOCH bracers
• SMOOCH breastplate
• SMOOCH codpiece
• SMOOCH kneepads
• SMOOCH spaulders
• STYX deodorant body spray
• Sacramento wine
• SalesCo sample kit
• Salsa Caliente™ candle
• Salsa Libre
• Sasq™ watch
• Satan hat
• Saucepanic
• Scandalously Skimpy Bikini
• Scent of a Human™ candle
• Scepter of Loathing
• Schmalz's First Prize Beer
• School of Hard Knocks Diploma
• Science Notebook
• Scorpion Bowl
• Scratch 'n' Sniff Sticker Tome
• Scurvy and Sobriety Prevention
• Sealed TakerSpace letter of Marque
• Seasonal Beret
• Secrets of the Master Egg Hunters
• Secrets of the Master Egg Hunters (used)
• Senior LAAAAME merit badge
• Sept-Ember Censer
• Septapus summoning charm
• Sequestrian
• Seven Loco
• Sexy Cosmo
• Shantix™
• Shielding Potion
• Shot of Kardashian Gin
• Shrieking Weasel holo-record
• Shrub's Premium Baked Beans
• Shudder
• Siberian sunrise
• Silly Little Love Song
• Silver HP-35 Calculator
• Simepore slime
• Single Alice's Army Foil
• Sister Accessory
• Site Alpha ID badge
• Sitrep berry
• Size XI Wizard's Robe
• Sketcherz™
• Skull Punch
• Skullhead's Screw
• Sledgehamster
• Sloppy Jalopy
• Sloppy Seconds Diner Employee Handbook
• Slotter
• Smashmoth
• Smoldering Clover™ candle
• Smuggler's Punch
• Snarf berry
• Sneaky Pete's leather jacket
• Sneaky Pete's leather jacket (collar popped)
• Snoutlet
• Snow Suit
• Sockdollager
• Solstice Shield
• Sombrero De Vida
• SongBoom™ BoomBox
• SongBoom™ BoomBox Box
• Sorcerers of the Shore Grimoire
• Source essence
• Source shades
• Source terminal
• Source terminal ASHRAM chip
• Source terminal CRAM chip
• Source terminal DIAGRAM chip
• Source terminal DRAM chip
• Source terminal GRAM chip
• Source terminal INGRAM chip
• Source terminal PRAM chip
• Source terminal SCRAM chip
• Source terminal SPAM chip
• Source terminal TRAM chip
• Source terminal TRIGRAM chip
• Source terminal file: compress.edu
• Source terminal file: cram.ext
• Source terminal file: critical.enh
• Source terminal file: damage.enh
• Source terminal file: dram.ext
• Source terminal file: duplicate.edu
• Source terminal file: familiar.ext
• Source terminal file: gram.ext
• Source terminal file: portscan.edu
• Source terminal file: pram.ext
• Source terminal file: protect.enq
• Source terminal file: spam.ext
• Source terminal file: stats.enq
• Source terminal file: substats.enh
• Source terminal file: tram.ext
• Source terminal file: turbo.edu
• Sourfinger
• Southern yam
• Souvenir Chopsticks
• Sp'n-Zor's Grimoire of "Tasteful" Gifts
• Space Baby bawbaw
• Space Baby children's book
• Space Pirate Astrogation Handbook
• Space Trip safety headphones
• Spacegate Initiative tattoo unit
• Spacegate Research
• Spacegate access badge
• Spacegate diplomat's insignia
• Spacegate emergency disintegrator
• Spacegate military insignia
• Spacegate scientist's insignia
• Spant eggs
• Spasmi Dolorosi Del Rene Champagne
• Special Seasoning
• Special™ Sauce
• Spellbook: Drescher's Annoying Noise
• Spellbook: Singer's Faithful Ocelot
• Spellbook: Walberg's Dim Bulb
• Spelunker of Fortune
• Spelunker of Fortune (used)
• Spelunker's Guild prize sack
• Spelunker's fedora
• Spelunker's khakis
• Spelunker's whip
• SpinMaster™ lathe
• Spirit of Christmas
• Spirit of Easter
• Spirit of St. Patrick's Day
• Spirit of Thanksgiving
• Spirit of Veteran's Day
• Spooky Putty ball
• Spooky Putty leotard
• Spooky Putty mitre
• Spooky Putty monster
• Spooky Putty sheet
• Spooky Putty snake
• Spooky VHS Tape
• Spookyraven signet
• Spring Break Beach "swimsuit"
• Spring Break Beach tattoo coupon
• Spring Bros. ID badge
• Spring Bros. solenoid
• Squib
• St. Pete's sneaky smoothie
• St. Sneaky Pete's Day goodies basket
• St. Sneaky Pete's Whey
• Staff of Blood and Pudding
• Staff of Frozen Lard
• Staff of Holiday Sensations
• Staff of Kitchen Royalty
• Staff of Queso Escusado
• Staff of the Deepest Freeze
• Staff of the Electric Range
• Staff of the Grand Flambé
• Staff of the Grease Trap
• Staff of the Peppermint Twist
• Staff of the Roaring Hearth
• Staff of the Scummy Sink
• Staff of the Woodfire
• Star Spawn
• Star of Bravery
• Steam Card: DemonStar (#1)
• Steam Card: DemonStar (#2)
• Steam Card: DemonStar (#3)
• Steam Card: Dungeon Fist (#1)
• Steam Card: Dungeon Fist (#2)
• Steam Card: Jackass Plumber (#1)
• Steam Card: Jackass Plumber (#3)
• Steam Card: Meteoid (#2)
• Steam Card: Meteoid (#3)
• Steam Card: Space Trip (#1)
• Steam Card: Space Trip (#2)
• Steam Card: Space Trip (#3)
• Steamboat
• Stembridge sidearm
• Stemonitis Staticus mushroom
• Stephen's lab coat
• Stick-Knife of Loathing
• Stooper
• Straypler
• Strix stix
• Strong, Silent Type
• Stupid University Diploma
• Super Weight-Gain 9000
• Superdrifter holo-record
• Superhero Reboots
• Swedish coffee
• Swedish massage fish
• Sword of Procedural Generation
• TΤ◊lisman of Baiø‡
• TI-9000 calculator
• TRIO cup of beer
• Taco Dan's Basic Taco Dan Taco
• Taco Dan's Super Taco-Riffic Taco Sauce!
• Taco Dan's Taco Fish Fish Taco
• Taco Dan's Taco Stand Flier
• Take Eleven Bar
• TakerSpace letter of Marque
• Tales of Spelunking
• Tales of Western Braggadoccio
• Talisman of Baio
• Talisman of Bakula
• Tallowcreme Halloween Pumpkin
• Tapioc berry
• Tea, Earl Grey, Hot
• Telltale™ rubber heart
• Temporal Tempera Tube
• Tesla's Electroplated Beans
• Texas tea
• Thanksgiving ration
• That 70s Cologne
• The Art of Slapfighting (used)
• The Author's ink
• The Author's inkwell
• The Autobiography Of Dynamite Superman Jones
• The Ballad of Richie Thingfinder
• The Beast Within™ candle
• The Big Book of Communism
• The Big Book of Communism (used)
• The Big Book of Every Skill
• The Bomb
• The Chill of the Wild
• The Cocktail Shaker
• The Confiscator's Grimoire
• The Crown of Ed the Undying
• The Emperor's new cookie
• The Emperor's new hat
• The Emperor's new pants
• The Emperor's new shirt
• The Encyclopedia of Fruit
• The Encyclopedia of Fruit (used)
• The Eye of the Thing in the Basement
• The Fingernail of the Thing in the Basement
• The Firegate Tapes
• The Fun-Guy Cold Weather Bartender's Guide
• The Ghoul King's ghoulottes
• The Gingerbread Vigilante's Handbook
• The Groose in the Hoose
• The Imploded World
• The Inquisitor's unidentifiable object
• The Jokester's gun
• The Jokester's pants
• The Jokester's wig
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 1
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 1 (used)
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 2
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 2 (used)
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 3
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 3 (used)
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 4
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 4 (used)
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 5
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 5 (used)
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 6
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 6 (used)
• The Joy of Wassailing (used)
• The Kloop in the Coop
• The Landscaper's leafblower
• The Legendary Beat
• The Mad Liquor
• The Necbromancer's Wizard Staff
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 1
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 1 (used)
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 2
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 2 (used)
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 3
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 3 (used)
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 4
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 4 (used)
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 5
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 5 (used)
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 6
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 6 (used)
• The Nose Knows, A Guide to Smells
• The Nose Knows, A Guide to Smells (read)
• The Nuge's favorite crossbow
• The One Mood Ring
• The Pigs holo-record
• The Plumber's mushroom stew
• The Smith's Tome
• The Snake trading card
• The Spirit of Crimbo
• The Spirit of Giving
• The Spirit of Giving (used)
• The Superconductor's CPU
• The Sword in the Steak
• The Western Look
• They'll Love You In Rhinestones
• Thinknerd's Grimoire of Geeky Gifts
• Third Base
• Third Eye
• Thor's Pliers
• Three Mile Island shorts
• Thwaitgold Illinigina illinoiensis model
• Thwaitgold amoeba statuette
• Thwaitgold anti-moth statuette
• Thwaitgold bombardier beetle statuette
• Thwaitgold bug statuette
• Thwaitgold buzzy beetle statuette
• Thwaitgold chigger statuette
• Thwaitgold cockroach statuette
• Thwaitgold fairyfly statue
• Thwaitgold fire beetle statuette
• Thwaitgold harvestman statuette
• Thwaitgold keyhole spider statuette
• Thwaitgold listening bug statuette
• Thwaitgold masked hunter statuette
• Thwaitgold metabug statuette
• Thwaitgold mosquito statuette
• Thwaitgold mosquito-in-amber statuette
• Thwaitgold moth statuette
• Thwaitgold nymph statuette
• Thwaitgold protozoa statuette
• Thwaitgold quantum bug statuette
• Thwaitgold scorpion statuette
• Thwaitgold shield bug statuette
• Thwaitgold slug statuette
• Thwaitgold splendor beetle statuette
• Thwaitgold time fly statuette
• Thwaitgold wolf spider statuette
• Tickle-Me Emilio
• Time Bandit Badge of Courage
• Time Bandit Time Towel
• Time Cape
• Time Cloak
• Time Juice
• Time Lord Badge of Honor
• Time Lord Participation Mug
• Time-Spinner
• To Build an Igloo
• Toddler-sized Dragon Costume
• Tome of Rad Libs
• Tome of Snowcone Summoning
• Tome of Sugar Shummoning
• Too Cold to Hold: How to Be Cool - A Memoir
• Too Cold to Hold: How to Be Cool - A Memoir (read)
• Toot Oriole care package
• Totally Gay Claymore
• Trader Olaf's Exotic Stinkbeans
• Trafikoan
• Trainbot autoassembly module
• Trainbot circuitry
• Trainbot harness
• Trainbot linkages
• Trainbot luggage hook
• Trainbot optics
• Trainbot plating
• Trainbot radar monocle
• Trainbot servomotors
• Trainbot slag
• Trainbot tubing
• Travoltan trousers
• Treads of Loathing
• Tremella Tarantella mushroom
• Trivial Avocations board game
• Trout Fishing in Loathing
• Truthsayer
• Turpin
• Turtive
• Turtle Bowl
• Twitching Television Tattoo
• Unagnimated Gnome
• Uncle Buck
• Uncle Crimbo's hat
• Uncle Hobo's belt
• Uncle Hobo's epic beard
• Uncle Hobo's fingerless tinsel gloves
• Uncle Hobo's gift baggy pants
• Uncle Hobo's highest bough
• Uncle Hobo's stocking cap
• Uncle Romulus (used)
• Underworld acorn
• Underworld flail
• Underworld sapling
• Underworld truncheon
• Unfortunato's foolscap
• Ungulant
• Unionize The Elves sign
• Universal Seasoning
• Unkillable Skeleton's shield
• Unmotivator: Crashed Meat Car
• Unmotivator: Crashed Orca
• Unmotivator: Success Warrior
• Unopened Eight Days a Week Pill Keeper
• Unspeakachu
• Uovo Marcio Shiraz
• V for Vivala mask
• VYKEA blood rune
• VYKEA frenzy rune
• VYKEA woadpaint
• Val-U Brand Every Bean Salad
• Valentine's Day cake
• Vamprey
• Vaporpoise
• Vegetable of Jarlsberg
• Velougats™
• Velvet Veil
• Victor's Spoils
• Vivian's Vitamin
• Volcoino
• Voluminous Radio Hat
• Voluminous Radio Pants
• Voluminous Radio Sneakers
• Vulgure
• Waifuton
• Wal-Mart "diamond" ring
• Wal-Mart gift certificate
• Wal-Mart nametag
• Wal-Mart overalls
• Wal-Mart snowglobe
• Wal-Mart tattoo kit
• Warehouse 23 bling
• Warehouse 23 crate
• Wart Dinsey: An Afterlife
• Wendtigo
• Western Slang Vol. 1: Violence
• Western Slang Vol. 2: Cooking
• Western Slang Vol. 3: Fraud
• White Dragon Fang
• Wickers bar
• Winifred's whistle
• Witchess Set
• World's Blackest-Eyed Peas
• Wrotz
• Wullabye
• X
• X-32-F snowman crate
• Xi Receiver Unit
• Xiblaxian 5D printer
• Xiblaxian alloy
• Xiblaxian circuitry
• Xiblaxian crystal
• Xiblaxian holo-bowtie
• Xiblaxian holo-schematic: stealth cowl
• Xiblaxian holo-schematic: ultraburrito
• Xiblaxian holo-training simcode
• Xiblaxian holo-wrist-puter
• Xiblaxian holo-wrist-puter simcode
• Xiblaxian polymer
• Xiblaxian residence-cube
• Xiblaxian stealth cowl
• Xiblaxian stealth trousers
• Xiblaxian stealth vest
• Xiblaxian ultraburrito
• Xiblaxian xeno-detection goggles
• Xlyinia's notebook
• Yeast of Boris
• Yeg's Motel alarm clock
• Yeg's Motel ashtray
• Yeg's Motel disposable razor
• Yeg's Motel hand soap
• Yeg's Motel minibar key
• Yeg's Motel mouthwash
• Yeg's Motel pillow mint
• Yeg's Motel sewing kit
• Yeg's Motel stationery
• Yeg's Motel toothbrush
• Yeti Protest Sign
• Yolo™ chocolates
• Yorick
• Young Man's Cargo Load
• Young Man's Crew Sequester
• Yuleviathan necklace
• Z-Bone steak
• Zombo's empty eye
• Zu Mannkäse Dienen (used)
• [glitch season reward name]
• [reuse me]
• a bug's lymph
• a cute angel
• a suspicious address
• absentee voter ballot
• abstraction: action
• abstraction: category
• abstraction: certainty
• abstraction: comprehension
• abstraction: joy
• abstraction: motion
• abstraction: perception
• abstraction: purpose
• abstraction: sensation
• abstraction: thought
• abyssal battle plans
• acceptable bagel
• acceptable mayolus
• accidental mutton
• actual blood sausage
• adobe abacus
• adobe abaya
• adobe adze
• adobe arsecover
• adobe ascot
• adobe assortment
• adobe ayam
• adobe brittle
• aerated diving helmet
• aerogel accordion
• aerogel akubra
• aerogel anvil
• aerogel apron
• aerogel ascot
• aerogel attache case
• aerosolized aerogel
• agnolotti arboli
• airplane charter: Conspiracy Island
• airplane charter: Dinseylandfill
• airplane charter: Spring Break Beach
• airplane charter: That 70s Volcano
• airplane charter: The Glaciest
• airplane tattoo
• alabaster bishop
• alabaster king
• alabaster knight
• alabaster pawn
• alabaster queen
• alabaster rook
• alien animal goo
• alien animal milk
• alien gemstone
• alien meat
• alien plant fibers
• alien plant goo
• alien plant pod
• alien plant sample
• alien rock sample
• alien sandwich
• alien source code printout
• alien source code printout (used)
• alien toenails
• alien zoological sample
• almost-dead walkie-talkie
• alpine watercolor set
• anchor bomb
• ancient Elf dessert spoon
• ancient hot dog wrapper
• ancient meat
• ancient medicinal herbs
• ancient pills
• ancient redwood
• anemoney clip
• anger blaster
• angry agate
• animal part cracker
• ankleweights
• annealed drippy orb
• anniversary balsa wood socks
• anniversary gift box
• anniversary pewter cape
• anniversary tiny latex mask
• anti-burn cream
• anti-creep cream
• anti-freeze cream
• anti-goosebump cream
• anti-odor cream
• anti-pain cream
• antimatter wad
• antique Canadian lantern
• antique accordion
• antique beer
• antique nutcracker beard
• antique nutcracker boots
• antique nutcracker cape
• antique nutcracker drumstick
• antique nutcracker epaulets
• antique nutcracker figurine
• antique nutcracker hat
• antique nutcracker pants
• antique nutcracker sword
• antique nutcracker waistcoat
• antique tacklebox
• arcanoferric housing
• armored prawn
• arrow'd heart balloon
• arse-a'fire elixir
• arse-shooting crossbow
• artisanal homebrew gift package
• asparagus stir-fry
• aspirin
• asteroid belt
• astral badger
• astronaut ice-cream
• attention spanner
• august scepter
• automa-bot parts
• automatic wine thief
• autumn breeze
• autumn dollar
• autumn leaf
• autumn years wisdom
• autumn-spice donut
• autumnal aegis
• autumnic balm
• autumnic bomb
• avatar of the Unconscious Collective
• aviator goggles
• baby bark scorpion
• baby camelCalf
• baby chest mimic
• baby oil shooter
• baby rigging snake
• backup camera
• baconstone-handled sixgun
• bacteria bisque
• bad penguin egg
• bad rum and good cola
• bad vibroknife
• bag of Iunion stones
• bag of foreign bribes
• bag of random words
• bag of sausage links
• bagged Cargo Cultist Shorts
• bagged stuffed "L"
• baggie of regular-sized tardigrades
• baked stuffing
• baked veggie ricotta casserole
• bakelite backpack
• bakelite badge
• bakelite belt
• bakelite bits
• bakelite bowl
• bakelite breeches
• bakelite brooch
• bakelite-covered bacon
• balanced antler
• ball-in-a-cup
• balsam barrel
• banana candle
• banana split
• banana-frosted king cake
• baneful bandolier
• banjo kazoo mount
• bar of freeze-dried water
• bark rootbeer
• barnacle-encrusted sweater
• barrel beryl
• barrel beryl choker
• barrel beryl nose ring
• barrel beryl ring
• barrel cracker
• barrel gun
• barrel-aged eggnog
• barrelhead
• bartender-skull-in-the-box
• basaltamander buckler
• basic martini
• basic meat fez
• basic meat foon
• basking robin
• bastard baster
• bat wings
• battered hubcap
• battered old top-hat
• battery (9-Volt)
• battery (AA)
• battery (AAA)
• battery (D)
• battery (car)
• battery (lantern)
• battery-powered drill
• battoo kit
• bauxite beret
• bauxite bow-tie
• bauxite boxers
• bear claw
• beaver punch (cherry)
• beaver punch (papaya)
• beaver punch (peach)
• beavermouth
• beefy pill
• beery blood
• beet
• beetle antenna
• beggin' cologne
• bejazzled eyepatch
• bellhop's hat
• belt of Ogrekind
• berry-infused sake
• best joke ever
• bewitching boots
• big hot pepper
• big ol' trophy
• bindle of joy
• biomechanical crimborg helmet
• biomechanical crimborg leg armor
• birdybug antenna
• birthday candle
• bitter bowtie
• bitter pill
• black Crimbo ball
• black and white cracker
• black brandy
• black candygram
• black cloak
• black eye shadow
• black gallstone
• black mana
• black slime glob
• blank note
• blank white card
• blessed rustproof +2 gray dragon scale mail
• blind-packed die-cast metal toy
• blood and blood
• blood kiwi
• blood roll-up
• blood snowcone
• blood-red mushroom wine
• blood-soaked sponge cake
• bloodstick
• bloody kiwitini
• blown-out speaker cone
• blue LavaCo Lamp™
• blue glowstick
• blue grass
• blue lava globs
• blue mana
• blue money bag
• blue plastic baby
• blue plate
• blue raspberry troll doll
• blue ribbon
• blue rocket
• blue traffic cone
• blueberry muffin
• blueberry-frosted king cake
• bobble-hip hula elf doll
• body spradium
• bodyguard badge
• bodyslam
• boiling broth
• boiling hot cocoa
• bolder boulder
• bomb of unknown origin
• bone broth
• book of facts
• book of facts (dog-eared)
• boot flask
• boot knife
• boot plant
• booze bindle
• booze drive button
• booze mailing list
• bottle of Bloodweiser
• bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon
• bottle of Cochon Noir
• bottle of Crème de Fugu
• bottle of Crimbognac
• bottle of Fishhead 900-Day IPA
• bottle of Goldschnöckered
• bottle of Greedy Dog
• bottle of Lambada Lambic
• bottle of Old Pugilist
• bottle of Professor Beer
• bottle of Race Car Red
• bottle of Rapier Witbier
• bottle of Sanguiovese
• bottle of Vangoghbitussin
• bottle of anís
• bottle of clam juice
• bottle of dark rhum
• bottle of extra-dark rhum
• bottle of extra-strength melodramamine
• bottle of gregnadigne
• bottle of lovebug pheromones
• bottle of melodramamine
• bottle of novelty hot sauce
• bottle of perfume
• bottle of sea wine
• bottle of super-extra-dark rhum
• bottle-rocket crossbow
• bottlecap turtle
• bottled Vampire Vintner
• bottled green pixie
• bottoms of the barrel
• bounty-hunting helmet
• bowl full of jelly
• bowl of Tastee-Wheet™
• bowl of eyeballs
• bowl of maggots
• bowl of mernudo
• bowl of mummy guts
• bowl of oriole's nest soup
• bowl of prescription candy
• box o' ghosts
• box of Gratitude chocolates
• box of bear arms
• boxed Apriling band helmet
• boxed Mayam Calendar
• boxed Sept-Ember Censer
• boxed august scepter
• boxed autumn-aton
• boxed bat wings
• boxed gumball machine
• bran muffin
• brand new key
• brass bung spigot
• brass turkey knuckles
• brazen bracelet
• bread basket
• bread line
• bread man
• bread mold
• bread pie
• bread roll
• breadwand
• briefcase full of sprinkles
• brilliant oyster egg
• broberry brogurt
• brocolate brogurt
• broken beer bottle
• broken carburetor
• broken cellular phone
• broken chocolate pocketwatch
• broken high-temperature mining drill
• bronze
• bronze handcuffs
• bronze polish
• brown paper bag mask
• brown paper pants
• brown pirate pants
• brown pixel
• brown plastic baby
• browser cookie
• buñuelos Jaliscos
• bubblegum heart
• bubblewrap bottlecap turtleban
• bucket of ancient Vampyre blood
• buffalo dime
• bug juice
• bugbear-smiting sword
• bulky free-range mushroom
• bullet necklace
• bunch of sea grapes
• bundle of "fragrant" herbs
• bundle of firewood
• burglar/sleep mask
• burning newspaper
• burnt snowpants
• burnt stick
• buzzard feather
• buzzing mushroom wine
• cabooze
• cactus monocle
• calm attention-deficit demon
• camouflage T-shirt
• campfire baked potato
• campfire beans
• campfire coffee
• campfire hot dog
• campfire s'more
• campfire smoke
• campfire stew
• can of Adultwitch™
• can of Brütalbräu
• can of Drooling Monk
• can of Impetuous Scofflaw
• can of Minions-Be-Gone
• can of cherry-flavored sterno
• can of depilatory cream
• can of drain cleaner
• can of maces
• can of mixed everything
• can of the cheapest beer
• can opener
• can-you-dig-it?
• candied almond
• candied beef and cabbage
• candied lime
• candied sweet potatoes
• candy UFOs
• candy cane sword cane
• candy carrot
• candy chalk
• candy crayons
• candy dog collar
• candy dress shoes
• candy drive button
• candy egg deviler
• candy harmonica
• candy knife
• candy mailing list
• candy necktie
• candy rations
• cannonbomb
• canteen of eggnog
• canteen of jungle juice
• capped blue lava bottle
• capped green lava bottle
• capped red lava bottle
• carbonite visor
• card sleeve
• cardboard box turtle
• carnivorous potted plant
• carrot cake precipice bar
• carrot juice
• carrot-on-a-stick
• carton of snake milk
• cartoon harpoon
• cashew
• cat o' nine teeth
• catskin buckler
• caustic slime nodule
• cement shoes
• ceramic celery grater
• ceramic celsiturometer
• ceramic cenobite's robe
• ceramic centurion shield
• ceramic cerecloth belt
• ceramic cestus
• ceramic scree
• chakra malt
• chakra sludge
• chakra-mental wine
• chalk chain
• chalk chalice
• chalk chapeau
• chalk chinos
• chalk chlamys
• chalk choker
• chalk chunks
• chamoisole
• charisma potion
• charpuce jub-jub bird
• cheap Chinese beer
• cheap plastic bottle opener
• cheap toaster
• cheer extractor
• cheer-o-gram
• cheerful Crimbo sweater
• cheerful antler hat
• cheerful pajama pants
• chef-skull-in-the-box
• cherry bomb
• chest barrel
• chest of "pirate gold"
• chicle de salchicha
• chiffon carbage
• chiffon chakram
• chiffon chamberpot
• chiffon chapeau
• chiffon chaps
• chiffon chemise
• chiffon chevrons
• chiffon lemon
• chili powder cutlass
• chiptune guitar
• chitin powder
• chitin powder paste
• chocolate "Phoenix"
• chocolate Ogre Chieftain
• chocolate Spider Queen
• chocolate bowtie
• chocolate box
• chocolate chip muffin
• chocolate covered ping-pong ball
• chocolate cow bone
• chocolate leash
• chocolate ostrich egg
• chocolate pocketwatch
• chocolate puppy
• chocolate rabbit's foot
• chocolate turtle totem
• chocolate-covered loofah
• chocolate-frosted king cake
• chocolate-stained collar
• chocomotive
• chocotini
• ciliophora chowder
• cinnamon cannoli
• cinnamon machine oil
• cinnamon troll doll
• circle drum
• citrus-infused sake
• clan underground fireworks shop
• class five ecto-larva
• claw-held flag
• clear Russian
• clerical automa-core
• clockwork bartender-in-the-box
• clockwork chef-head-in-the-box
• clockwork hat
• clockwork pants
• cloning kit
• closed-circuit pay phone
• closed-circuit phone system
• clovermint
• coal dust
• coal snakeskin
• coarse hemp socks
• cocktail mushroom
• cocoa chondrule
• cocoa of youth
• coffee sprite
• cold jelly
• cold mashed potatoes
• cold medicine cabinet
• colossal free-range mushroom
• combat lover's locket
• combat lover's locket lockbox
• comfy blanket
• communal gobstopper
• complex alien plant sample
• complex alien zoological sample
• complex mushroom wine
• complicated device
• compounded experience
• concentrated cooking
• concentrated fish broth
• coney haunch
• conquistador's breastplate
• consolation ribbon
• container of Spooky Putty
• contract enforcement stick
• cookbookbat book
• cool hot cocoa
• cool mint precipice bar
• cool spore pod
• cop dollar
• coping juice
• corked genie bottle
• corned beet
• cornucopia
• corroded breeches
• corrosive cowl
• corrupted marrow
• corrupted stardust
• cosmetic football
• cosmic bucket
• cosmic lemonade
• cotton candy cocoon
• counterfeit city
• cow poker
• cozy scarf
• crêepy mask
• crabsicle
• cranberry cylinder
• cranberry margarita (brackish)
• crappy Mer-kin mask
• crappy Mer-kin tailpiece
• crappy camera
• crated wardrobe-o-matic
• crazy bastard sword
• cream of chloroplasts
• creepy doll head
• creepy voice box
• crimbo elfling
• crimsilion jub-jub bird
• crude oil congealer
• crudles
• crunchy brush
• crushed steamer trunk
• cryptic puzzle box
• crystal Crimbo goblet
• crystal Crimbo platter
• crystal belt buckle
• crystalline cheer
• crystalline light bulb
• crystalline reamer
• crystallized pumpkin spice
• cube of ectoplasm
• cuckoo clock
• cup of "tea"
• cupcake-in-a-cup
• cuppa Activi tea
• cuppa Alacri tea
• cuppa Boo tea
• cuppa Chari tea
• cuppa Craft tea
• cuppa Cruel tea
• cuppa Dexteri tea
• cuppa Feroci tea
• cuppa Flamibili tea
• cuppa Flexibili tea
• cuppa Frost tea
• cuppa Gill tea
• cuppa Impregnabili tea
• cuppa Improprie tea
• cuppa Insani tea
• cuppa Irritabili tea
• cuppa Loyal tea
• cuppa Mana tea
• cuppa Mediocri tea
• cuppa Monstrosi tea
• cuppa Morbidi tea
• cuppa Nas tea
• cuppa Net tea
• cuppa Neuroplastici tea
• cuppa Obscuri tea
• cuppa Physicali tea
• cuppa Proprie tea
• cuppa Royal tea
• cuppa Serendipi tea
• cuppa Sobrie tea
• cuppa Toast tea
• cuppa Twen tea
• cuppa Uncertain tea
• cuppa Vitali tea
• cuppa Voraci tea
• cuppa Wit tea
• cuppa Yet tea
• cursed Aztec tamale
• cursed black pearl onion
• cursed chocolate doubloon
• cursed dirty joke scroll
• cursed magnifying glass
• cursed microwave
• cursed monkey glove
• cursed monkey's paw
• cursed piece of thirteen
• cursed pirate cutlass
• cursed pony keg
• cursed ring finger ring
• cursed swash buckle
• cursed tricorn hat
• cursed voodoo skull
• cursed wishbone
• custom avatar form
• custom sixgun
• cute bow from beyond the stars
• cute meteoroid
• cyan seashell
• cyber-mattock
• cyborg stompin' boot
• cyclops eyedrops
• daddy shortlegs leg
• daily dungeon malware
• dandy lion cub
• dark chocolate egg
• das boot
• day shortener
• deactivated RoboGoose
• deactivated mini-Trainbot
• deactivated putty buddy
• dead guy's memento
• deadfall branch
• deanimated reanimator's coffin
• debonair deboner
• deck of tropical cards
• deed to Oliver's Place
• defective Game Grid token
• defective Golden Mr. Accessory
• deflated inflatable dodecapede
• delicious candy
• delicious star salad
• deluxe Neverending Party favor
• deluxe layer cake
• demonic cow's blood
• denastified haunch
• denim jacket
• dental pliers
• depleted Crimbonium football helmet
• depleted Grimacite astrolabe
• depleted Grimacite grappling hook
• depleted Grimacite hammer
• depleted Grimacite kneecapping stick
• depleted Grimacite weightlifting belt
• designer sweatpants
• designer sweatpants (new old stock)
• desktop zen garden
• detective roscoe
• detective school application
• detective tattoo
• detour shield
• devil hair pasta
• deviled candy egg
• deviled egg
• dew yoana lei
• diabolic pizza cube
• diabolical crossbow
• diamondback skin
• dice belt buckle
• dice ring
• dice sunglasses
• dice-print do-rag
• dice-print pajama pants
• dice-shaped backpack
• dieting pill
• diluted makeup
• dinner roll
• dirt julep
• dirty bottlecap
• dirty martini
• discarded button
• discarded swimming trunks
• disco biscuit
• disco horoscope (Leo)
• disco horoscope (Taurus)
• disconnected intergnat
• distilled resin
• diving muff
• do-it-yourself laser eye surgery kit
• doll-eye amulet
• dollar sign
• dollop of barbecue sauce
• dolphin whistle
• donated booze
• donated candy
• donated food
• doppelshifter egg
• dorky glasses
• double barreled barrel gun
• double daisy
• double entendre
• double-candied yams
• doubt cannon
• dread tarragon
• dreadful fedora
• dreadful glove
• dreadful roast
• dreadful sweater
• dream of a dog
• dreaming Jung man
• dregs of a Crimbo cocktail
• drink chit
• drinks tray
• drippy bezoar
• drippy bromide
• drippy candy bar
• drippy caviar
• drippy diadem
• drippy enzyme
• drippy flux
• drippy grub
• drippy ichor
• drippy khakis
• drippy nugget
• drippy orb
• drippy pigment
• drippy pilsner
• drippy plum(?)
• drippy salt
• drippy seed
• drippy shield
• drippy snail shell
• drippy staff
• drippy stake
• drippy stein
• drippy truncheon
• drive-by shooting
• drive-thru burger
• dromedary drinking helmet
• droopy doll eye
• droppable microphone
• dropped scrap of paper
• drug cocktail sauce
• druidic s'more
• dubious peppermint
• dusty animal cranium
• dusty animal skull
• dusty bottle of blood
• dusty eleventh thoracic vertebra
• dusty fifth lumbar vertebra
• dusty fifth thoracic vertebra
• dusty first cervical vertebra
• dusty fourth caudal vertebra
• dusty fourth cervical vertebra
• dusty left fifth rib
• dusty left first rib
• dusty left fourth rib
• dusty left humerus
• dusty left radius
• dusty left second front claw
• dusty left sixth rib
• dusty left tenth rib
• dusty left third rear claw
• dusty left third rib
• dusty left tibia
• dusty left twelfth rib
• dusty left ulna
• dusty ninth thoracic vertebra
• dusty right eighth rib
• dusty right femur
• dusty right first front claw
• dusty right first rib
• dusty right fourth rear claw
• dusty right fourth rib
• dusty right humerus
• dusty right ninth rib
• dusty right second rear claw
• dusty right sixth rib
• dusty right third front claw
• dusty right thumb
• dusty right tibia
• dusty right ulna
• dusty second cervical vertebra
• dusty sixth cervical vertebra
• dusty tenth thoracic vertebra
• dusty third thoracic vertebra
• eagle's milk
• ear candle
• earthenware muffin tin
• eau de mort
• eaves droppers
• edible alien plant bit
• eel battery
• egg gun
• eggwater
• eighth plague
• elbow soup
• eldritch alignment spray
• eldritch concentrate
• eldritch distillate
• eldritch effluvium
• eldritch elixir
• eldritch essence
• eldritch extract
• eldritch hammer
• eldritch hat
• eldritch ichor
• eldritch mushroom
• eldritch mushroom pizza
• eldritch oil
• eldritch pants
• eldritch rub
• eldritch scanner
• eldritch tincture
• eldritch tincture (depleted)
• electric Kool-Aid
• electric mushroom
• electric pants
• electronic Brain Trainer game
• electronics kit
• elemental caipiroska
• elemental sugarcube
• elevenderizing hammer
• elevennis shoes
• elevent
• elf army field rations
• elf ploughshare
• elf sleeper agent
• elven tambourine
• elven whittling knife
• ember egg
• embering hunk
• emergency glowstick
• emo roe
• emotion chip
• empty Rain-Doh can
• empty blowgun
• empty hourglass
• empty lava bottle
• energized spores
• enhanced signal receiver
• enticing mayolus
• envelope full of Meat
• epic cluster
• eraser nubbin
• ert grey goo ring
• etched hourglass
• eternal knot tattoo
• even more tinsel
• everfull glass
• evil flaming eyeball pendant
• evil noodles
• evil paper umbrella
• evil teddy bear sewing kit
• exactly-three-shaped box
• excitement pill
• exclusive club
• exclusive ultra-rare item
• executive mime flask
• exo-xo-skeleton-skeleton
• exotic jungle fruit
• exotic parrot egg
• expensive champagne
• experimental carbon fiber pasta additive
• experimental serum G-9
• expired MRE
• exploding cigar
• exploding gum
• extra DNA
• extra ooze
• extra special Crimbo stocking
• extra time
• extra-grubby grub
• extra-hard jawbreaker
• extra-strength goo
• extra-toasted half sandwich
• extremely confusing manual
• extremely slippery nipple
• eye 'n' horn shampoo
• fairy-worn boots
• fake cocktail
• fake washboard
• familiar scrapbook
• fancy beer bottle
• fancy beer label
• fancy calligraphy pen
• fancy canapés
• fancy chess set
• fancy chocolate sculpture
• fancy party pants
• fascinating alien plant sample
• fascinating alien zoological sample
• fat bottom quark
• fear condenser
• festive egg sac
• fettucini épines Inconnu recipe
• fetus-smashing club
• fiberglass fannypack
• fiberglass fedora
• fiberglass fetish
• fiberglass fibers
• fiberglass fingerguard
• fiberglass foil
• fiberglass frock
• fiberglass insulation
• filled mosquito
• filthy hippy poncho
• fire ant pheromones
• fire crackers
• fire hose
• fire-roasted lake trout
• fireman's lunch
• firemilk
• fireproof skip lid
• fish head
• fish sauce
• fishcake
• fishelada
• fishin' hat
• fishy fish lasagna
• fishy pipe
• fishy wand
• fist turkey outline
• fistful of wood shavings
• five-fingered fern resin
• fixed-gear bicycle
• fixodent
• flagellate flagon
• flagellate soup
• flagstone fez
• flagstone flag
• flagstone flagments
• flagstone flail
• flagstone fleece
• flagstone flip-flops
• flagstone fringe
• flame orb
• flaming familiar doppelgänger
• flaming juggler's balls
• flaming leaf crown
• flaming pink shirt
• flan del mar
• flapper floppers
• flapper fly
• flashing novelty button
• flask of egggrog
• flask of embalming fluid
• flask of moonshine
• flask of port
• flavorless gruel
• fleshy lump
• fleshy putty
• flickering pixel
• flimsy hardwood scraps
• floaty inverse geode
• floaty stone sphere
• floorboard cruft
• flour cookie
• flyest of shirts
• flytrap bezoar
• foam commodore's hat
• foam naval trousers
• foam pistol
• folder (Seawolf)
• folder (barbarian)
• folder (catfish)
• folder (holographic fractal)
• folder (rainbow unicorn)
• food drive button
• food mailing list
• foreign box
• forest canopy bed
• fortifying hot cocoa
• four-leaf potato sprout
• fragile Christmas ornament
• frankincenser
• free boots
• free-range mushroom
• freightcake
• french-fry grabber
• fresh can of paint
• fresh coat of paint
• fried air
• frigid derringer
• frontwinder skin
• frost flower
• frost-rimed desk bell
• frozen tofu pop
• fruit basket
• fruit bat
• fruit bowl
• fruit-stuffed rumcake
• fruity pebble
• fudge cube
• fudge pocket square
• fudgecycle
• fudgesicle
• full lava bottle
• funhouse mirror
• funny bone
• funny paper hat
• furry green earmuffs
• furry green turtle
• furry pill
• fusilli marrownarrow
• fusillocybin
• fuzzy bracelets
• fuzzy polar bear ears
• gabardine gaiters
• gabardine garibaldi
• gabardine garland
• gabardine girdle
• gabardine gloves
• gabardine gunnysack
• gabardine smithereens
• gaffer's tape
• gallon of milk
• garbage sticker
• garbage-juice-flavored Hob-O
• gas can
• gasmask
• gator shades
• gattoo
• gazely stare
• gazing shoes
• generic healing potion
• generic mana potion
• generic restorative potion
• genie bottle
• genie's bracers
• genie's pants
• genie's scimitar
• genie's turbane
• ghast iron Garibaldi
• ghast iron cleaver
• ghast iron codpiece
• ghast iron heater shield
• ghast iron ingot
• ghost bit
• ghost shawl
• ghostly dagger
• ghostly ectoplasm
• giant O
• giant X
• giant free-range mushroom
• giant glass of brandy
• gift card
• gilded ancient cursed chest
• gilded ancient cursed key
• gilded trumpet
• ginger beer
• ginger snaps
• gingerbeard
• gingerbread cigarette
• gingerbread dog treat
• gingerbread gavel
• gingerbread hoodie
• gingerbread mask
• gingerbread moneybag
• gingerbread mug
• gingerbread nylons
• gingerbread pirate
• gingerbread pistol
• gingerbread restraining order
• gingerbread smartphone
• gingerbread spice latte
• gingerbread tophat
• gingerbread trousers
• gingerbread waistcoat
• gingerbread wine
• gingernade
• gingerservo
• ginseng
• glass casserole dish
• glass eye
• glass of "milk"
• glass of drippy wine
• glass of raw eggs
• glass pie plate
• glass slipper
• gleaming oyster egg
• glistening oyster egg
• glob of enchanted icing
• glob of extra-green chlorophyll
• glob of green slime
• glob of melted wax
• glob of salty molasses
• glob of undifferentiated tissue
• glow-in-the-dark dart gun
• glow-in-the-dark stuffed burrowgrub
• glow-in-the-dark wristwatch
• glowing frisbee
• glyph of athleticism
• gnawed-up dog bone
• goblin bone hilt
• goblin water
• gold skull ring
• golden banana
• golden fleece
• golden gum
• golden gun
• golden monkey statuette
• golden pet rock
• golden sausage
• golden tattoo gun
• goo magnet
• good gravy
• goodberry
• gooey drippy candy bar
• googly chest eyes
• gooified animal matter
• gooified mineral matter
• gooified vegetable matter
• gory drippy orb
• gourmet gourami oil
• government
• government booze shipment
• government candy shipment
• government food shipment
• government per-diem
• government requisition form
• government-issued candy
• government-issued eyeshade
• government-issued necktie
• government-issued night-vision goggles
• government-issued slacks
• governor's daughter's lace collar
• governor's daughter's pearl hairpin
• governor's daughter's petticoats
• grain of sand
• grape troll doll
• gravy boat
• gravy skin
• gravyskin buckler
• gravyskin hat
• gravyskin pants
• gravyskin skirt
• gray seashell
• grease cannon
• greasy desk bell
• great old fashioned
• greedy ghostling
• green LavaCo Lamp™
• green and red bean
• green bean casserole
• green face paint
• green glowstick
• green lava globs
• green mana
• green marshmallow
• green pill
• green rock candy
• green rocket
• green seashell
• green slime glob
• green traffic cone
• green-iced sweet roll
• gregarious ghostling
• gremlin mutagen
• grey down vest
• grey gosling
• grilled cheese sandwich
• grilled mooseflank
• grinning ghostling
• grinning turtle
• grisly shield
• grizzled bearskin
• grog nuts
• groggipop
• groggles
• grogtini
• groupie lipstick
• groveling gravel
• grubby wool
• grubby wool beerwarmer
• grubby wool gloves
• grubby wool hat
• grubby wool scarf
• grubby wool trousers
• grubby woolball
• guffin
• guild application
• guilty sprout
• gummi bowtie
• gummi fang
• gumshoes
• gun parts
• gunner's daughter
• gunpowder burrito
• gunwale
• gunwale whalegun
• gym shorts
• hacked gibson
• haemolymphnode
• haiku katana
• hair of the calf
• hairshirt
• half double fruitcake
• half-digested coal
• half-digested rat
• half-height cigar
• half-height unicycle
• half-orchid
• hambrosier
• hamethyst-handled sixgun
• hand of Mr. Cards
• hand turkey outline
• hand-crafted candy cane
• hand-knitted Crimbo socks
• hand-knitted diving booties
• handful of Boltsmann bearings
• handful of split pea soup
• handful of toilet paper
• handmade hobby horse
• hard cocoa
• hard rock
• hard spore pod
• hardboiled egg
• hardened slime belt
• hardening cream
• hardware upgrade
• hare pin
• harpoon
• haunted Hell ramen
• haunted battery
• haunted bindle
• haunted bottle of vodka
• haunted cherry pie
• haunted doghouse
• haunted eggnog
• haunted gimlet
• haunted martini
• haunted orange
• haunted paddle-ball
• haunted pizza
• hazmat helmet
• head of emberg lettuce
• head-mounted Trainbot
• heart cozy
• heart-shaped candy whetstone
• heart-shaped crate
• heat-resistant sheet metal
• heather graham cracker
• heavy-duty Crimbot aerial
• hell in a bucket
• hemlock helm
• hemp backpack
• hemp candy necklace
• hep waders
• hermedisiac cologne
• heteroerotic frat-paddle
• hewn moon-rune spoon
• hi-density nylocite leg armor
• hi-octane carrot juice
• hibernating Grimstone Golem
• hibernating robot reindeer
• hibiscus petal
• high-end ginger wine
• high-speed upgrade
• high-temperature mining drill
• high-test fishing line
• hippo tutu
• hipster cocktail
• hoarded candy wad
• hobo code binder
• hobo dungarees
• hobo monkey
• hockey stick of furious angry rage
• holiday smorgasbord
• holiday trip around the world
• hollow rock
• holly-flavored Hob-O
• homeless hobo spirit
• homemade robot
• homemade robot gear
• honey bun of Boris
• honey-drenched ham slice
• hopeful candle
• hot Dreadsylvanian cocoa
• hot button candy
• hot cocoa au beurre
• hot cocoa with rainbow marshmallows
• hot jelly
• hot mint schnocolate
• hot spore pod
• hot watered rum
• hot wine
• hourglass
• house-sized mushroom
• housekeeping automa-core
• huge Crimbo cookie
• huge mint leaf
• human musk
• humble pie
• hungover chauvinist pig
• hunk of granite
• hushed puppy
• hypnodisk
• iFlail
• ice baby
• ice cream sandwich
• ice harvest
• ice house
• ice pick
• ice rice
• ice sickle
• ice skates
• ice wine
• iceberg lettuce
• iceberglet
• iced plum wine
• icing poncho
• illegal firecracker
• illicit fish sauce
• imaginary lemon
• imitation crab zoea
• imitation nice watch
• imitation whetstone
• immense free-range mushroom
• imported lemon lozenge
• imported taffy
• improved martini
• impure gasoline
• in-the-box spring shoes
• incredibly dense meat gem
• indie comic hipster glasses
• industrial fire extinguisher
• industrial frosting
• industrial lubricant
• industrial strength anti-fungal spray
• industrially-crushed ice
• infant sandworm
• infernal snowball
• infinite BACON machine
• inflammable leaf
• inflatable LT&T telegraph office
• infrablack lipstick
• initiative shawarma
• ink bladder
• insulated gold wire
• insulting hat
• intact anemone spike
• intact medium-wave antenna
• interesting clod of dirt
• intergalactic pom poms
• internet point
• interrogative elixir
• intricate clockwork big hand
• intricate clockwork birdhouse
• intricate clockwork cuckoo
• intricate clockwork disc
• intricate clockwork egg
• intricate clockwork little hand
• intricate clockwork numeral I
• intricate clockwork numeral II
• intricate clockwork numeral III
• intricate clockwork numeral IV
• intricate clockwork numeral IX
• intricate clockwork numeral V
• intricate clockwork numeral VI
• intricate clockwork numeral VII
• intricate clockwork numeral VIII
• intricate clockwork numeral X
• intricate clockwork numeral XI
• intricate clockwork numeral XII
• invisible potion
• iron chain
• iron dagger
• ironic mint
• ironic moustache
• isotophat
• jam band
• jam band bootleg
• jamfish jam
• jangly spurs
• janitor's mop
• jar of frostigkraut
• jar of magical relish
• jar of psychoses (The Captain of the Gourd)
• jar of psychoses (The Crackpot Mystic)
• jar of psychoses (The Meatsmith)
• jar of psychoses (The Old Man)
• jar of psychoses (The Pretentious Artist)
• jar of psychoses (The Suspicious-Looking Guy)
• jar of swamp gas
• jewel-eyed wizard hat
• jewelry-making pliers
• jitterbug larva
• jolly roger tattoo kit
• jug of "wine"
• jug of Sneaky Pete's Mojo
• jug of booze
• juggling ball
• jumping horseradish
• karma shawarma
• kelp
• kelp-holly drape
• kelp-holly gun
• kerosene-soaked skip
• kevlateflocite helmet
• kickback cookbook
• kill screen
• kilopede skull
• kitten burglar
• kitty sheet music
• kobold treasure hoard
• lab-grown meat
• ladle of mystery
• large pile of sand
• large stone triangle
• large tankard of ale
• laser cannon
• laser targeting chip
• latte lovers club card
• latte lovers member's mug
• lava balaclava
• lavalarva
• lavender polka-dot oyster egg
• lead collar
• lead umbrella
• leafy browns
• leather aviator's cap
• left bear arm
• left-handed melodica
• leftover Crimbo rations
• leftover canapés
• leftover chocolate bar
• leftover pasty
• leftovers
• leftovers sandwich
• leg-mounted Trainbots
• leggings of the Spider Queen
• lemony scales
• lesser grodulated violet
• li'l candy corn costume
• li'l ghost costume
• li'l knight costume
• li'l orphan tot
• li'l unicorn costume
• liar's pants
• libertagliatelle
• licorice snake
• licorice whip
• limepatch
• linguini immondizia bianco
• linguini of the sea
• lint
• lion musk
• lip soup
• liquid SONAR
• liquid bread
• liquid ice pack
• liquid rhinestones
• liquid smoke
• lit leaf lasso
• literal grasshopper
• little deuce cape
• little piece of steel
• little red book
• livid energy
• llama lama cria
• loaded serum blowgun
• loaf of alien bread
• loaf of soda bread
• loafers
• loathing eagle baby-doll shirt
• locked mumming trunk
• lodestone
• longbox of Batfellow comics
• loofah ladle
• loofah lavalier
• loofah lederhosen
• loofah legwarmers
• loofah lei
• loofah lumberjack's hat
• loofah lumps
• loose blade
• lost elf luggage
• love
• low tide martini
• lucky Crimbo tiki necklace
• lucky Tam O'Shanter
• lucky Tam O'Shatner
• lucky army helmet
• lucky cat collar
• lucky gold ring
• lucky moai statuette
• lucky napkin
• lucky rabbitfish fin
• lucky-ish pill
• lump of bauxite
• lump of black ichor
• lump of loyal latite
• lump of not really wriggling eldritch matter
• lupine appetite hormones
• lustrous drippy orb
• lustrous oyster egg
• luxury fly-tying workbench
• lychee chuhai
• lynyrdskin breeches
• lynyrdskin cap
• lynyrdskin tunic
• machine elf capsule
• macroplane grater
• mafia filofax
• mafia middle finger ring
• mafia organizer badge
• mafia pinky ring
• mafia pointer finger ring
• mafia thumb ring
• mafia wedding ring
• magenta seashell
• magic dragonfish fry
• magical baguette
• magical battery
• magical pony: Dusk Shiny
• magical pony: Pearjack
• magical pony: Rosey Cake
• magical pony: Shutterfly
• magical pony: Spectrum Dash
• magical pony: Uniquity
• magical sausage
• magical sausage casing
• magnetic field
• magnificent oyster egg
• magnum of fancy champagne
• makeshift castanets
• makeshift sixgun
• malevolent medallion
• mana-basted tofurkey leg
• mana-coated yams
• mana-fortified cranberry sauce
• mana-stuffed herbal stuffing
• mantis skull
• map to Anemone Mine
• map to Dolph Bossin's hideout
• map to Madness Reef
• map to a candy-rich block
• map to the Cursed Village
• map to the Dive Bar
• map to the Marinara Trench
• map to the Mystic Wood
• map to the Putrid Swamp
• map to the Skate Park
• map to the Sprawling Cemetery
• map to the Towering Mountains
• marble maebari
• marble magnet
• marble mantle
• marble mariachi hat
• marble medallion
• marble mignonette bowl
• marble molecules
• marshmallow
• marshmallow bomb
• marshroom
• martiny
• mashed potatoes
• mass of wriggling tentacles
• massive wrench
• mayfly bait necklace
• mayo pump
• meadeorite
• meat shield
• meatball
• meatball machine
• meaty helmet turtle
• mechanically-mulled cider
• medium stone triangle
• megacopia
• melon-infused sake
• melty plastic grenade
• meme generator
• memory of a C
• memory of a G
• memory of a T
• memory of an A
• mentholated wine
• mercenary pistol
• mercenary rifle
• mesquito proboscis
• messenger bag RNA
• metal mandible
• metal meteoroid
• metallic foil radar dish
• metandienone
• meteor shower cap
• meteorb
• meteoreo
• meteorite earring
• meteorite fragment
• meteorite guard
• meteorite necklace
• meteorite ring
• meteortarboard
• meteorthopedic shoes
• micronova
• midget clownfish
• milestone
• military candy cane
• military orb
• military-grade peppermint oil
• mime army camouflage kit
• mime army challenge coin
• mime army infiltration glove
• mime army insignia (cryonics)
• mime army insignia (espionage)
• mime army insignia (infantry)
• mime army insignia (intelligence)
• mime army insignia (morale)
• mime army insignia (psychological warfare)
• mime army insignia (pyrotechnics)
• mime army insignia (sanitation)
• mime army rations
• mime army shotglass
• mime army superserum
• mime army wine
• mime eraser
• mime pocket probe
• mime-proof sunglasses
• mimeplasm
• miming beret
• miming boots
• miming corduroys
• miming gloves
• miming shirt
• mince pie
• mini kiwi
• mini kiwi aioli
• mini kiwi antimilitaristic hippy petition
• mini kiwi bikini
• mini kiwi digitized cookies
• mini kiwi egg
• mini kiwi icepick
• mini kiwi illicit antibiotic
• mini kiwi intoxicating spirits
• mini kiwi invisible dirigible
• mini kiwi silicon tiepin
• mini kiwi tipi
• mini kiwi whipping stick
• mini kiwi-flavored aspirin-injecting lipstick
• mini kiwitini
• mini-marshmallow dispenser
• mini-martini
• miniature Embering Hulk
• miniature Jacob's ladder
• miniature antlers
• miniature castagnets
• miniature crystal ball
• miniature deck cannon
• miniature espresso maker
• miniature goose mask
• miniature gravy-covered maypole
• miniature power pill
• miniature stuffed Goth Giant
• miniature tophat
• miniscule temporal rip
• mint condition Lil' Doctor™ bag
• mint condition magnifying glass
• mint-in-box Powerful Glove
• misshapen animal skeleton
• missing semicolon
• moai toai
• moaiball
• model train set
• modern picture frame
• moist Crimbo spices
• molehill mountain
• molten medallion
• monstrous monocle
• moomy dust
• moon-amber necklace
• mooseflank
• moosemeat pie
• moreltini
• morning dew
• moss floss
• moss mace
• moss mantle
• moss marlinspike
• moss medal
• moss megaphone
• moss mitre
• moss mulch
• mostly-empty bottle of cookie wine
• mother's necklace
• mountain lion skin
• mourning wine
• mouth-watering mayolus
• moveable feast
• muculent machete
• muddy skirt
• muffled muffuletta
• mulled berry wine
• mulled blood
• mulled hobo wine
• mulled wine
• multi-level marzipan
• mummified entombed cookbookbat
• mumming trunk
• murderbot component casing
• murderbot live wire
• murderbot mask
• murderbot memory chip
• murderbot monofilament
• murderbot plasma rifle
• murderbot power cell
• murderbot shield unit
• murderbot spring injector
• murderbot whip
• muscular soup
• mushroom filet
• mushroom slab
• mushroom tea
• mushroom whiskey
• muskox-skin cap
• musty moccasins
• mutant arm
• mutant cactus bud
• mutant crown
• mutant fire ant egg
• mutant gila monster egg
• mutant legs
• mutant rattlesnake egg
• mutated candy lump
• myrrh pouch
• mysterious chest
• mystery lollipop
• name change form
• nasty desk bell
• nasty gum
• nasty-smelling moss
• nativity shorts
• natural magick candle
• naughty fortune teller
• naughty origami kit
• naughty paper shuriken
• nauseating reagent
• navel ring of navel gazing
• ncle leg
• neck wreath
• neg grog
• nega-mushroom
• nega-mushroom wine
• negative lump
• negotiatin' hammer
• nervous tick egg
• nest egg
• neverending wallet chain
• new habit
• newborn kobold
• newly-hatched mayonnaise wasp
• nice warm beer
• nicksilver ring
• nicksilver spurs
• ninja eyeblack
• ninja pirate zombie robot
• ninja pirate zombie robot head
• ninjammies
• noir fedora
• non-Euclidean angle
• non-aged vinegar
• norwhal helmet
• note from Clancy
• nothingtini
• noticeable pumps
• novelty fruit hat
• novelty monorail ticket
• novelty tattoo sleeves
• nozzle of the Phoenix
• nuclear stockpile
• nugget of nicksilver
• nugget of quicksilver
• nugget of sicksilver
• nugget of slicksilver
• nugget of thicksilver
• nugget of ticksilver
• nugget of wicksilver
• numberwang
• nutcracking pliers
• nylon Christmas stockings
• obsidian nutcracker
• octolus-skin cloak
• odd silver coin
• off-hand balloon
• offensive moustache
• officer's nog
• ojo de pez burrito
• old bronzer
• old chum
• old coin purse
• old eyebrow pencil
• old leather wallet
• old school Mafia knickerbockers
• old-fashioned Crimbo Pressie
• old-school pirate grog
• oldcake
• one million meat pancakes
• one piece of bubble gum
• one-day ticket to Conspiracy Island
• one-day ticket to Dinseylandfill
• one-day ticket to Spring Break Beach
• one-day ticket to The Glaciest
• onyx bishop
• onyx king
• onyx knight
• onyx pawn
• onyx queen
• onyx rook
• optimal spreadsheet
• orange boxing gloves
• orange glowstick
• orange slime glob
• orange traffic cone
• orc paste
• organ grinder
• organic potpourri
• origami "gentlemen's" magazine
• origami pasties
• origami riding crop
• oriole-feather headdress
• ornamental sextant
• ornate ancient cursed chest
• ornate ancient cursed key
• orphan baby yeti
• out-of-work circus flea
• outrageous sombrero
• over-the-shoulder Folder Holder
• overflowing gift basket
• overloaded Yule battery
• overloaded short-pulse transistor
• overly-fancy hot cocoa
• overpowering mushroom wine
• oversized ice molecule
• oxygenated eggnog helmet
• oyster basket
• oyster egg balloon
• oyster sauce
• pack of KWE trading card
• pack of chewing gum
• packaged Daylight Shavings Helmet
• packaged Everfull Dart Holster
• packaged June cleaver
• packaged Jurassic Parka
• packaged Pocket Professor
• packaged Roman Candelabra
• packaged SpinMaster™ lathe
• packaged backup camera
• packaged cold medicine cabinet
• packaged familiar scrapbook
• packaged industrial fire extinguisher
• packaged knock-off retro superhero cape
• packaged luxury garment
• packaged miniature crystal ball
• packaged model train set
• packet of beer seeds
• packet of dragon's teeth
• packet of mayfly bait
• packet of mushroom spores
• packet of pumpkin seeds
• packet of rock seeds
• packet of tall grass seeds
• packet of thanksgarden seeds
• packet of winter seeds
• paint palette
• painted shield
• pair of candy glasses
• pair of government shades
• pair of plants
• pair of ragged claws
• pair of scissors
• palm-frond cloak
• panicked kernel
• pantogram
• paraffin palazzos
• paraffin pendant
• paraffin pieces
• paraffin pith helmet
• paraffin poncho
• paraffin pseudoaccordion
• paraffin punching bag
• party balloon
• party beer bomb
• party crasher
• party mouse hat
• party platter for one
• party pup
• party whip
• passed-out psychedelic bear
• pat of butter
• patch of extra-warm fur
• patent aggression tonic
• patent alacrity tonic
• patent avarice tonic
• patent invisibility tonic
• patent preventative tonic
• patent sallowness tonic
• pea brittle
• peace shooter
• peace turkey outline
• pearl diver's necklace
• pearl diver's ring
• pearlescent oyster egg
• peasco sour
• peaza
• pebble of proud pyrite
• pegfinger
• penguin thesaurus
• penguin-smacking club
• pentagram bandana
• peppermint bomb
• peppermint donut
• peppermint eel sauce
• peppermint harpoon gun
• peppermint pegleg
• peppermint spine
• peppermint sprig
• peppermint syrup
• peppermint tack
• peppermint tailings
• peppermint-scented socks
• perfect Christmas scarf
• perfect ice cube
• perfectly fair coin
• perfectly ordinary frog
• pernicious cudgel
• personal graffiti kit
• personal raindrop
• personalizable gingerbread cookie
• personalized wassail stein
• pestopiary
• pet anchor
• pet bad vibe
• petrified time
• pewter candlestick
• pewter shavings
• phial of coldness
• phial of hotness
• phial of sleaziness
• phial of spookiness
• phial of stench
• photo booth sized crate
• pickled bread
• pickled grasshopper
• picture of a dead guy's girlfriend
• piece of after eight
• piece of cake
• piece of coral
• piece of driftwood
• pig-iron bracers
• pig-iron helm
• pig-iron shinguards
• pile of Trainbot parts
• pile of dirt
• pile of dungeon junk
• pile of gritty sand
• pile of sand
• pile of smoking rags
• pilgrim shield
• pine cone
• pine cone necklace
• pineapple slab
• ping-pong ball
• ping-pong paddle
• pink glowstick
• pink plastic baby
• pink slime
• pint of sweat
• piracetam
• piranha pollen
• pirate encryption key (complete)
• pirate encryption key alpha
• pirate encryption key bravo
• pirate encryption key charlie
• pirate encryption key delta
• pirate fork
• pirate hook
• pirate pantaloons
• pirate radio ring
• pirate shaving cream
• pirate zombie head
• pirate zombie robot head
• piratical blunderbuss
• pirrrate's currrse
• piscatini
• pixel banana
• pixel beer
• pixel bread
• pixel chain whip
• pixel coin
• pixel cross
• pixel daiquiri
• pixel energy tank
• pixel grappling hook
• pixel holy water
• pixel lemon
• pixel morning star
• pixel orb
• pixel pill
• pixel power cell
• pixel rock
• pixel star
• pixel stopwatch
• pixel whip
• pixel whiskey
• pixellated moneybag
• pixie axie
• plague pie
• plain bagel
• plain calzone
• plain candy cane
• plain paper hat
• plain snowcone
• plans for depleted Grimacite astrolabe
• plans for depleted Grimacite grappling hook
• plans for depleted Grimacite gravy boat
• plans for depleted Grimacite hammer
• plans for depleted Grimacite ninja mask
• plans for depleted Grimacite shinguards
• plans for depleted Grimacite weightlifting belt
• plastic bazooka
• plastic bib
• plastic cup of flat beer
• plastic doll arms
• plastic doll legs
• plastic nightmare troll
• plastic piranha pot
• plastic pirate hat
• plastic pumpkin bucket
• plastic vampire fangs
• plate of Frigid Northern Beans
• plate of Heimz Fortified Kidney Beans
• plate of Hellfire Spicy Beans
• plate of Mixed Garbanzos and Chickpeas
• plate of Pork 'n' Pork 'n' Pork 'n' Beans
• plate of Shrub's Premium Baked Beans
• plate of Tesla's Electroplated Beans
• plate of Trader Olaf's Exotic Stinkbeans
• plate of Val-U Brand Every Bean Salad
• plate of World's Blackest-Eyed Peas
• plexifoam chin strap
• plexiglass pants
• plexiglass pendant
• plexiglass pikestaff
• plexiglass pinky ring
• plexiglass pith helmet
• plexiglass pocketwatch
• plumber's lunch
• plump free-range mushroom
• plus one
• plush alien hamsterpus
• plush hamsterpus
• plush sea serpent
• pocket ace
• pocket lint (orange)
• pocket wish
• pogo stick
• poisonsettia
• poker face paint
• polished moon-amber
• polo trophy
• polyester pad
• polyester panama hat
• polyester parachute
• polyester peeler
• polyester pettipants
• polyester pulsera
• polymorphic fastening apparatus
• poncho de azucar
• ponytail clip
• pool shark hair oil
• porcelain pelerine
• porcelain pepper mill
• porcelain phantom mask
• porcelain plus-fours
• porcelain police baton
• porcelain porkpie
• porquoise bracelet
• porquoise-handled sixgun
• portable Mayo Clinic
• portable Othello set
• portable Spacegate
• portable dam
• portable housekeeping robot
• portable motorcycle
• portable pantogram
• portable ping-pong table
• portable steam unit
• portable table
• possessed sugar cube
• potato alarm clock
• potato jacket
• potato masher
• potion of spiritual gunkifying
• potted power plant
• potted tea tree
• powdered madness
• powdered oxygen
• powdered powdered sugar
• power pill
• power seed
• prank Crimbo card
• praying Grim Brother
• precision snowball
• pregnant oily golden mushroom
• prescription noodles
• prescription teeth whitener
• present
• pressurized potion of possessiveness
• primitive alien blowgun
• primitive alien booze
• primitive alien loincloth
• primitive alien mask
• primitive alien medicine
• primitive alien necklace
• primitive alien salad
• primitive alien spear
• primitive alien totem
• primitive candy cane
• print screen button
• pristine piranha seed
• pristine walrus tusk
• pro skateboard
• profane eye patch
• prohie's hat
• projectile chemistry set
• protection stick
• protein paste
• proto-proto-protozoa
• protogenetic chunklet (elbow)
• protogenetic chunklet (flagellum)
• protogenetic chunklet (lips)
• protogenetic chunklet (muscle)
• protogenetic chunklet (synapse)
• protonic accelerator pack
• prototype stimulant
• psychedelic bubble wand
• psychic's amulet
• psychic's circlet
• psychic's crystal ball
• psychic's pslacks
• psychokinetic energy blob
• pulled indigo taffy
• pump-up high-tops
• pumpkin spice whorl
• punch-drunk punch
• punching mirror
• puppet strings
• purple corpsel
• purple glowstick
• purpleheart "pants"
• purpleheart logs
• putty coat
• puzzling trophy
• pygmy bugbear shaman
• quantized familiar
• quantized familiar experience
• quantum of familiar
• quantum watch
• question juice
• questionable taco
• quicksilver ring
• quicksilver spurs
• rack of dinosaur ribs
• radio button candy
• raffle prize box
• raffle ticket
• ragged wool yarn
• rainbow glitter candle
• rainbow jellybean
• rainbow pearl
• rainbow pearl earring
• rainbow pearl necklace
• rainbow pearl ring
• rainbow sauce
• rainbow tie
• rare oboe
• ratatouille de Jarlsberg
• ratskin pajama pants
• rattler gland
• ratty knitted cap
• raw bread
• raw cranberry sauce
• raw gravy
• raw green beans
• raw mincemeat
• raw potato
• raw stuffing
• raw sweet potato
• raw turkey
• real cowboy hat
• realistic cap gun
• really nice lump of coal
• really nice net
• really tiny cocktail shaker
• record of menacing silence
• record of menacing silence (used)
• record of tranquil silence
• record of tranquil silence (used)
• recovered cufflinks
• red LavaCo Lamp™
• red ale
• red and white claret
• red coin
• red face paint
• red lava globs
• red mana
• red money bag
• red plastic baby
• red plastic oyster egg
• red plumber's boots
• red potion
• red red wine
• red rocket
• red shoe
• red traffic cone
• red white and blue claret
• red-and-green microcamera
• red-hot boilermaker
• red-hot jawbreaker
• red-hot knucklebone
• red-hot sausage fork
• red-soled high heels
• red-spotted snapper roe
• redwood rain stick
• reflection of a map
• refrigerated biohazard container
• refurbished air fryer
• regret hose
• regular-size brogurt
• rehearsing dramatic hedgehog
• reindeer hammer
• reindeer sickle
• reliable sixgun
• repaid diaper
• replica Elf Guard medal
• replica Ten Dollars
• replica bat-oomerang
• replica key
• research fragment
• residual chitin paste
• reusable shopping bag
• reverse Tantalus
• rhinestone
• rhinestone cowhorn
• ribbon candy ascot
• ribcage rollcage
• riboflavin
• ridiculous belt
• ridiculous earring
• rigging knot
• ring
• ring of the Skeleton Lord
• rinky-dink sixgun
• roasted duck
• roasted vegetable focaccia
• roasted vegetable of Jarlsberg
• robin flan
• robin nog
• robin's egg
• rocket fuel
• rodeo whiskey
• roll of meat
• room scale green bean casserole
• root beer barrel
• rose-colored glasses
• rotting beefsteak
• rotting cowskin
• rubber WWBBDD? bracelet
• rubber baby doll
• rubber cape
• rubber doll body
• rubber doll head
• rubber nubbin
• rubber spatula
• rum ball
• rum-soaked fruitcake
• rune-strewn spoon cocoon
• runny fermented egg
• runny icing
• runproof mascara
• rusty compass
• rutabuga bag
• rxr shield
• sachet of strange powder
• sack lunch
• safety vest
• saffron antaravasaka
• saffron uttarasanga
• salmagumdi
• salt plum
• salt plum sake
• salt wages
• salted mutton
• salty drippy candy bar
• salty gumdrop
• sampler size toothpaste
• samurai turtle helmet
• sand dollar
• sane hatrack
• sangria del diablo
• sardine can key
• sausage golem
• savings bond
• savory crossbow
• savory dry noodles
• sawed-off blunderbuss
• scepter of the Skeleton Lord
• scintillating oyster egg
• scotch on the rocks
• scrap of sticky paper
• scroll of minor invulnerability
• scroll of protection from lycanthropes
• sea chaps
• sea cowbell
• sea cowboy hat
• sea jelly
• sea lasso
• sea salt crystal
• sea shawl
• sea truffle
• sea-worn candlestick
• seal medal
• seaode
• second-hand knockoff engagement ring
• secret from the future
• security automa-core
• self-dribbling basketball
• self-repairing earmuffs
• senate fly thorax
• sequin-encrusted sweater
• set of Unobtainium straps
• set of jacks
• sew-on bandage
• sewer snake
• sewing kit
• shadow bread
• shadow brick
• shadow candle
• shadow candy
• shadow chef's hat
• shadow flame
• shadow fluid
• shadow glass
• shadow hammer
• shadow hot dog
• shadow ice
• shadow martini
• shadow monocle
• shadow nectar
• shadow needle
• shadow pill
• shadow sausage
• shadow sinew
• shadow skin
• shadow stick
• shadow trousers
• shadow venom
• shadowy cheat sheet
• sham champagne
• sharkfin gumbo
• sharp tin strip
• shellacked shell
• shells a la shellfish
• shield of the Skeleton Lord
• shim of shame shale
• shimmering rainbow sand
• shining goblet
• shining star cap
• shiny brass tailfeathers
• shipwright's hammer
• shoe ad T-shirt
• shoe gum
• shoo-fish pie
• shooting morning star
• shopkeeper beard
• short beer
• short glass of water
• short stack of pancakes
• short stick of butter
• short white
• shortest-order cook
• shot of granola liqueur
• shot of wasp venom
• shoulder-mounted Trainbot
• shoulder-warming lotion
• shovelful of dirt
• shrine to the Barrel god
• shrink-wrapped 2002 Mr. Store Catalog
• shrink-wrapped Cincho de Mayo
• shroomtini
• shuddering cow skull
• shushed potatoes
• sicksilver ring
• sicksilver spurs
• siesta-ing Casagnova gnome
• signal fragment
• signal receiver
• silent A
• silent B
• silent C
• silent D
• silent E
• silent F
• silent G
• silent H
• silent I
• silent J
• silent K
• silent L
• silent M
• silent N
• silent O
• silent P
• silent Q
• silent R
• silent S
• silent T
• silent U
• silent V
• silent W
• silent X
• silent Y
• silent Z
• silent nightlight
• silicon-infused gluteal shield
• silk garter snake
• silky pirate drawers
• silver cow creamer
• silver cow skull
• silver keg
• silver sausage
• silver table-scraper
• simple ancient cursed key
• single atom
• single entendre
• single of Donho's Bubbly Ballad
• single of Inigo's Incantation of Inspiration
• single-use dust mask
• sinister altar fragment
• sinister ancient tablet
• sinister demon mask
• sinistral homunculus
• six tiny wedges of goat cheese
• sizzling desk bell
• skate board
• skewered cherry
• skewered lime
• skin oil
• skull capacitor
• skull gearshift knob
• skulldozer egg
• slap and slap again recipe
• sleaze jelly
• sleeping patriotic eagle
• sleeping piano cat
• sleeping profane parrot
• sleeping stocking
• slicksilver ring
• slicksilver spurs
• slightly thicker filthy rags
• slime fedora
• slime knuckles
• slime shooter
• slime waders
• slime-covered greaves
• slimy alveolus
• slippery when wet shield
• small Crimbo Pressie
• small golem
• small pile of sand
• small slimy cyst
• small stone triangle
• smoker's cloak
• smoking talon
• smoldering bagel punch
• smoldering box
• smoldering leafcutter ant egg
• smooth mushroom wine
• smooth velvet hanky
• smooth velvet hat
• smooth velvet pants
• smooth velvet pocket square
• smooth velvet shirt
• smooth velvet socks
• snailmail hauberk
• snake oil
• snake skin
• snakeskin cowboy hat
• snakeskin jacket
• snakeskin thighboots
• sneakeasies
• snow berries
• snow cleats
• snow crab
• snow fort
• snow halo
• snow machine
• snowman-enchanting tophat
• snowpack
• sober pill
• soft cap of diminishing returns
• software bug
• soggy elf shoes
• soggy gingerbread chunk
• soggy wofl t-shirt
• soilzerac
• solid asbestos box
• solid chrome box
• solid gold jewel
• solid linoleum box
• sonar fishfinder
• sorority girl's box
• soul mask
• soup-chucks
• sour ball and chain
• souvenir flag
• space beast fur hat
• space beast fur pants
• space blanket
• space chowder
• space jellybicycle
• space marine flash grenade
• space pirate treasure map
• space planula
• space trooper helmet
• space wine
• spagecialetti
• spaghetti with ghost balls
• spaghetti-box banjo
• spant backplate
• spant chitin
• spant egg casing
• spant shield
• spant shoulderpads
• spant spear
• spant tendon
• spants
• spare battery
• spare chocolate parts
• sparking El Vibrato drone
• sparkling orb
• sparkly engagement ring
• spearfish fishing spear
• special clip: boneburners
• special clip: graveburpers
• special clip: splatterers
• special clip: squelchers
• special clip: tracers
• special clip: wailers
• special edition Batfellow comic
• special sauce glove
• speed limit shield
• spider leg
• spidercow eye-cluster
• spiky turtle helmet
• spiky turtle shoulderpads
• spinal-fluid-covered emotion chip
• spinning wheel
• spirit bell
• spirit sheet
• spiritual candy cane
• spiritual eggnog
• spiritual fruitcake
• spiritual gingerbread
• splendid martini
• spongy shield
• spooky jelly
• spooky music box mechanism
• spooky rattling cigar box
• spoon!
• spring shoes
• sprinkle-begging cup
• sprinkles
• squirming Slime larva
• squirmy violent party snack
• stained glass serape
• stained glass shards
• stained glass shield
• stained glass shiv
• stained glass spectacles
• stained glass stetson
• stained glass suspenders
• stained hard candy
• stale Cheer-E-Os
• stale cheer wine
• standard-issue cupcake
• standards and practices guide
• star pop
• status cymbal
• stealth bomber
• steamed oyster
• steaming evil
• steel drivin' hammer
• steel knuckles
• stench jelly
• stick of firewood
• sticky sword blade
• still grill
• stinky cheese ball
• stinky cheese diaper
• stinky cheese eye
• stinky cheese sword
• stinky cheese wheel
• stinky fannypack
• stop shield
• strange cube
• strange stalagmite
• strange stone pyramid
• strawberry-flavored Hob-O
• streetfighting champion's belt
• structural ember
• stuffed "L"
• stuffed club
• stuffed dinosaur
• stuffed kraken
• stuffed red and green pepper (stale)
• stuffed yam stinkbomb
• stuffed yo-yo
• stuffing fluffer
• styrofoam peanuts
• subscription cocoa dispenser
• sugar bunny
• sugar fairy
• sugar raygun
• sugarplum ration
• suggestive strozzapreti
• sundae ration
• super good fruit
• super-absorbent tarp
• super-heated leaf
• super-size brogurt
• super-sweet boom box
• super-sweet fish goo (spoiled)
• superheated metal
• superhero mask
• surprisingly capacious handbag
• sushi-rolling mat
• suspicious package
• suspicious stocking
• swamp haunch
• sweat socks
• sweat-ade
• sweatband
• sweaty balsam
• sweet nutcracker
• sweet party mix
• sweet potato o' mine
• sweet potato punch
• sweet tooth
• sweetened reindeer fat
• swirling mushroom wine
• synaptic soup
• syncopated turtle
• synthetic marrow
• synthetic rock
• tabletop candy dispenser
• tainted icing
• tainted milk
• talisman of Seshat
• talkative skull
• talking spade
• tankard of spiced Goldschlepper
• tankard of spiced rum
• tapped black lotus
• tarnished bottlecap
• tarnished luggage key
• tarnished tastevin
• tattered paper crown
• tattoo gun
• tattoo of two turkeys
• teacher's pen
• tearaway pants
• teddy bear sewing kit
• teddy borg sewing kit
• teflon swim fins
• temperance whiskey
• temporary X tattoos
• tempura green and red bean
• tennis ball
• terra cotta tambourine
• terra cotta tidbits
• terra cotta tie tack
• terra cotta tongs
• terra cotta train
• terra cotta trousers
• terra cotta truss
• terra panna cotta
• testy toolbox
• thanksgiving bomb
• thanksgiving turkey
• the Archwizard's briefs
• the Crymbich Manuscript
• the Crymbich Manuscript (used)
• the Ley Incursion's waist
• thermos of "whiskey"
• thick walrus blubber
• thicksilver ring
• thicksilver spurs
• thin gold wire
• third ear
• three-tiered wedding cake
• thriftshop coupon
• throwin' ember
• ticksilver ring
• ticksilver spurs
• tie-dye headband
• tie-dyed fannypack
• tied-up flaming leaflet
• tied-up flaming monstera
• tied-up leaviathan
• tightly-wound spine
• time helmet
• time residue
• time shuriken
• time sleigh
• time sword
• time trousers
• time-twitching toolbelt
• tin cup
• tin drum
• tin foil
• tin magnolia
• tin rations
• tin roof (rusted)
• tin snips
• tin star
• tin tam
• tin thermos of chai
• tinsel fin
• tinsel orb
• tiny Tina gun
• tiny baby scorpion
• tiny barrel
• tiny bindle
• tiny bomb
• tiny consolation ribbon
• tiny costume wardrobe
• tiny die-cast Doc the Reindeer
• tiny die-cast Swiss hen
• tiny die-cast Unionize the Elves Sign
• tiny die-cast factory worker elf
• tiny domino mask
• tiny ember
• tiny frozen prehistoric meteorite jawbreaker
• tiny glowing red nose
• tiny goth giant
• tiny handful of mixed nuts
• tiny nose-bone fetish
• tiny plastic "Santa Claus"
• tiny plastic Abuela Crimbo
• tiny plastic Abuela's cottage
• tiny plastic Ancient Unspeakable Bugbear
• tiny plastic Armory
• tiny plastic Bar
• tiny plastic Battlesuit Bugbear Type
• tiny plastic Beebee King
• tiny plastic Bugbear Captain
• tiny plastic Café Elf
• tiny plastic Cafe
• tiny plastic Captain Kerkard
• tiny plastic Charity the Zombie Hunter
• tiny plastic Cheer Core
• tiny plastic Clancy the Minstrel
• tiny plastic Colonel Brando
• tiny plastic Crimbo caroler
• tiny plastic Crimbo cheer
• tiny plastic Crimbodhisattva
• tiny plastic Crimborgatron
• tiny plastic Crimbot
• tiny plastic Crimboween pentagram
• tiny plastic Dolph Bossin
• tiny plastic Easter Island Bunny
• tiny plastic Ed the Undying
• tiny plastic Factory
• tiny plastic Father McGruber
• tiny plastic Gaia'ajh-dsli Ak'lwej
• tiny plastic Jedediah and Boiling Cloud
• tiny plastic Knows About Chakras
• tiny plastic Krampus
• tiny plastic Lord Flameface
• tiny plastic Mer-kin baker
• tiny plastic Mirth
• tiny plastic Naughty Sorceress
• tiny plastic Norville Rogers
• tiny plastic Penny
• tiny plastic Professor What
• tiny plastic Queen Bee
• tiny plastic Rene C. Corman
• tiny plastic Rudolph the Red
• tiny plastic Scream Queen
• tiny plastic St. Patrick
• tiny plastic Tammy the Tambourine Elf
• tiny plastic The Silent Nightmare
• tiny plastic Your Brain
• tiny plastic ancient yuletide troll
• tiny plastic angry space marine
• tiny plastic angry vikings
• tiny plastic bad vibe
• tiny plastic batbugbear
• tiny plastic bee swarm
• tiny plastic beebee gunners
• tiny plastic beebee queue
• tiny plastic black ops bugbear
• tiny plastic blazing bat
• tiny plastic bugaboo
• tiny plastic buzzerker
• tiny plastic caboose
• tiny plastic cavebugbear
• tiny plastic chem lab
• tiny plastic coal car
• tiny plastic dining car
• tiny plastic dolphin "orphan"
• tiny plastic food lab
• tiny plastic four-shadowed mime
• tiny plastic golden gundam
• tiny plastic hypodermic bugbear
• tiny plastic locomotive
• tiny plastic mime executive
• tiny plastic mime functionary
• tiny plastic mime scientist
• tiny plastic mime soldier
• tiny plastic multi-level marketer
• tiny plastic mumblebee
• tiny plastic nog lab
• tiny plastic orphan
• tiny plastic passenger car
• tiny plastic primary lab
• tiny plastic reindeer
• tiny plastic sea elf
• tiny plastic spiderbugbear
• tiny plastic spoiler
• tiny plastic sword
• tiny plastic the Free Man
• tiny plastic wild beaver
• tiny plastic yuleviathan
• tiny prop sword
• tiny stillsuit
• toast with cold jelly
• toast with hot jelly
• toast with jam
• toast with sleaze jelly
• toast with spooky jelly
• toast with stench jelly
• tofu stir-fry
• toggle switch (Bartend)
• toggle switch (Bounce)
• tonic o' Banderas
• tooth cap
• toothy trousers
• topeé
• topiary necktie
• topiary noseplugs
• topiary nugglet
• topiary tights
• tortoise's blessing
• toxic mop
• toy accordion
• toy six-seater hovercraft
• toy sixgun
• traditional Crimbo cookie
• train whistle
• training scroll: Shattering Punch
• training scroll: Shivering Monkey Technique
• training scroll: Snokebomb
• trampled ticket stub
• transmission from planet Xi
• transparent nog
• traumatic holiday memory
• trench coat
• trench lighter
• trick coin
• triggerfingerbone
• triple barreled barrel gun
• tropical Crimbo pressie
• tropical paperweight
• trusty torch
• tryptophan dart
• tube of pendulum lube
• tube of villain white
• tuning fork
• turchucken
• turkey blaster
• turkish mostaccioli
• twice-haunted screwdriver
• twist of lime
• twisted piece of wire
• twitching time capsule
• two meat muck
• ultimate wad
• ultra-deluxe cupcake
• ultra-soft ferns
• ultracalcium
• unappetizing mayolus
• unbreakable umbrella
• uncanny desk bell
• uncapped blue lava bottle
• uncapped green lava bottle
• uncapped red lava bottle
• undamaged Unbreakable Umbrella
• undrilled cosmic bowling ball
• unearthed volcanic meteoroid
• unemployed hunchbacked minion
• unevolved organism
• unfinished fruitcake
• unfinished ice sculpture
• unfinished pleasure
• uniclops egg
• unidentifiable dried fruit
• unidentified drink
• uninteresting mayolus
• universal biscuit
• unlocked meat locker
• unoccupied sheep suit
• unopened Bird-a-Day calendar
• unopened diabolic pizza cube box
• unopened tiny stillsuit
• unpowered Robortender
• unremarkable duffel bag
• unsanitized scalpel
• unsmoothed velvet
• unspeakable lozenges
• untorn tearaway pants package
• unused soap
• unusual oil
• unwound clockwork grapefruit
• unwound cymbal-playing monkey
• unwrapped knock-off retro superhero cape
• upsy daisy
• urchin roe
• valuable coin
• vampagne
• vampire chowder
• vampyric cloake
• vampyric cloake pattern
• van key
• vanilla-frosted king cake
• veiny spore pod
• velour valise
• velour vambraces
• velour vaqueros
• velour veil
• velour veneer
• velour viscometer
• velour voulge
• velvet choker
• very fancy whiskey
• very small red dress
• vesper
• vial of humanoid growth hormone
• vial of patchouli oil
• vicious spiked collar
• villainous scythe
• violent pastilles
• viral DNA
• viral video
• virgin jello shot
• vitamin G pill
• vodka barracuda
• vodka stinger
• void burger
• void lager
• void shard
• void stone
• voodoo doll
• voter registration form
• votive of confidence
• wad of Crovacite
• wad of spider silk
• waders
• waffle
• warbear LP-ROM burner
• warbear bearserker mead
• warbear black box
• warbear breakfast machine
• warbear chemistry lab
• warbear dress helmet
• warbear high-efficiency still
• warbear hoverbelt piecepart
• warbear induction oven
• warbear rejuvenation potion
• warbear soda machine
• warbear superpotion
• wardrobe-o-matic
• warehouse key
• warehouse walkie-talkie
• warm gravy
• warm war shawarma
• water balloon
• water log
• water wings for babies
• waterlogged cloth
• waterlogged crate
• waterlogged leather
• waterlogged metal
• waterlogged stuffing
• waterlogged wood
• watermelon
• watermelon seed
• wax booze
• wax face
• wax hand
• wax lips
• wax pancake
• webbed comic mask
• weedy skirt
• weegee sqouija
• western-style skinning knife
• wet tack
• whale cerebrospinal fluid
• whalecake
• whalegun
• whalesteak
• wheel of camembert
• whet stone
• whirled peas
• whiskey squeeze
• white Crimbo ball
• white arm towel
• white mana
• white money bag
• white snakeskin duster
• white-label gin
• whole turkey leg
• wicker clicker
• wicker kickers
• wicker knickers
• wicker slicker
• wicker sticker
• wicker ticker
• wickerbits
• wicksilver ring
• wicksilver spurs
• wind-up Whatsian robot
• wind-up spider
• windicle
• witch's bra
• witch's brew
• wizard action figure
• wolf whistle
• wooden spoon
• wool sock
• wooly loincloth
• worksite credentials
• world's most unappetizing beverage
• wormwood stick
• wormwood wedding ring
• wrapped candy cane sword cane
• wrapping paper
• wriggling tentacle
• wriggling worm
• wristwatch of the white knight
• writhing drippy candy bar
• wrought-iron flakes
• wrought-iron waders
• wrought-iron walker
• wrought-iron whisk
• wrought-iron widget
• wrought-iron wig
• wrought-iron winch crank
• wumpus hair
• wumpus-hair bolo
• wumpus-hair loincloth
• wumpus-hair net
• wumpus-hair sweater
• wumpus-hair whip
• wumpus-hair wig
• xo-skeleton-in-a-box
• yabba dabba doo rag
• yam
• yam and swiss
• yam battery
• yam burrito
• yam martini
• yam mayo
• yam slider
• yellow glowstick
• yellow pixel
• yellow pixel potion
• yellow puck
• yellow puck with a bow on it
• yellow rocket
• yellow seashell
• yellow traffic cone
• yule grog
• yule gruel
• yule hatchet
• yule pup
• yuletide troll chrysalis
• zombie
• zombie monkey necklace
• zombie pineal gland