In their foolhardy quest to collect every item, this player comes 3,526 short.

• Franken Stein
• "DEBBIE" tattoo kit
• "Humorous" T-shirt
• "I survived Y2K" T-Shirt
• "caramel" orange
• 'Villa' document
• 1 Meat
• 1.21 jigawatts
• 100-Watt bulb
• 11-leaf clover
• 1337 7r0uZ0RZ
• 17-ball
• 18-picohertz resonator crystal
• 20-lb can of rice and beans
• 2002 Mr. Store Catalog
• A Beginner's Guide to Charming Snakes (used)
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 1
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 1 (used)
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 2
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 2 (used)
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 3
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 3 (used)
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 4
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 4 (used)
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 5
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 6
• A Guide to Burning Leaves
• A Light that Never Goes Out
• Abuela Crimbo's special magnet
• Acqua Del Piatto Merlot
• Acque Luride Grezze Cabernet
• Admiral's hat
• Adventurer's Kit
• Aerheads
• Agent Mauve
• Aggressive Carrot
• Aiolion
• Alexy sauce
• Alice's Army Foil Bowman
• Alice's Army Foil Coward
• Alice's Army Foil Dervish
• Alice's Army Foil Hammerman
• Alice's Army Foil Horseman
• Alice's Army Foil Lanceman
• Alice's Army Foil Mad Bomber
• Alice's Army Foil Martyr
• Alice's Army Foil Sniper
• Alice's Army Foil tattoo
• Alice's Army booster box
• Amanitee
• Ambitious Turkey
• Amulet of Perpetual Darkness
• Angry Farmer's Wife Candy
• Anniversary Miniature Sword & Martini Guy
• Annual Ascot
• Apathargic Bandersnatch
• Apriling band helmet
• Arr, M80
• Arrow (+1)
• Ascension Souvenir T-Shirt
• Asdon Martin keyfob (on ring)
• Ass-Stompers of Violence
• Autobiography Of Dynamite Superman Jones (used)
• AutumnFest ale
• Azurite
• BACON
• BRICKO airship
• BRICKO bat
• BRICKO cathedral
• BRICKO egg
• BRICKO gargantuchicken
• BRICKO hat
• BRICKO octopus
• BRICKO ooze
• BRICKO oyster
• BRICKO pants
• BRICKO pyramid
• BRICKO python
• BRICKO reactor
• BRICKO vacuum cleaner
• BURT
• Bag o' Tricks
• Baja sopapilla
• Banfoy's Boutique Order Form
• Barney's rake
• Bash-Ōs boxtop
• Bastille Battalion Fondue Trophy
• Bastille Battalion cheese wheel
• Bastille Battalion control rig
• Bastille Battalion control rig loaner voucher
• Bastille Battalion tattoo kit
• Beach Comb
• Beach Comb Box
• Bee's Knees
• Belt of Loathing
• Better Shrooms and Gardens catalog
• Bicycle
• Bigger Bugfinder Blade
• Bird-a-Day calendar
• Black and White Apron Enrollment Form
• Black and White Apron Meal Kit
• Bluzzard
• Boltsmann ID badge
• Book of Old-Timey Carols
• Boosty Juice
• Boots of Twilight Whispers
• Boris's Helm
• Boris's Helm (askew)
• Boris's beer
• Boris's bread
• Boris's key lime
• Boris's key lime pie
• Boss Drops
• Boulevardier cocktail
• Bowl of Infinite Jelly
• Boxing Day care package
• Brand of Violence
• Brandonian footlocker key
• Breathitin™
• Bright Water
• Brimstone Beret
• Brimstone Bludgeon
• Brimstone Bracelet
• Brimstone Brooch
• Brimstone Bunker
• Brogre brolo shirt
• Brogre brorts
• Brogre bucket hat
• Buddy Bjorn
• Bugfinder Blade
• Build-a-City Gingerbread kit
• Bulky Buddy Box
• Buttery Boy
• Byte
• Calzone of Legend
• Camp Scout backpack
• Cantelope
• Caramel
• Cargo Cultist Shorts
• Carol of the Bulls (used)
• Carol of the Hells (used)
• Carol of the Thrills (used)
• Carpricorn
• Cat-Herding Prod
• Chalice of the Malkovich Prince
• Champagne Shimmy
• Charleston Choo-Choo
• Charleston shoes
• Charter: Nellyville
• Chateau Mantegna room key
• Ched
• Chef Boy, R&D's business card
• Cheshire Bitten
• Chester's bag of candy
• Chester's muscle shirt
• Chester's sunglasses
• Children's Meal of the Damned
• Christmas ham
• Chubby and Plump bar
• Cincho de Mayo
• Clan Carnival Game
• Clan Floundry
• Clan VIP Lounge invitation
• Clan VIP Lounge key
• Clan hot dog stand
• Clan looking glass
• Clan pool table
• Clan shower
• Clan speakeasy
• Climate Colada
• Cobra Bowl
• Cocktails of the Age of Sail
• Cocktails of the Age of Sail (used)
• Cold Fang
• Cold One
• Cold Stone of Hatred
• Colera Peste Nebbiolo
• Comma Chameleon egg
• Comprehensive Cartographic Compendium
• Comprehensive Cartographic Compendium (well-read)
• Congressional Medal of Insanity
• Conspiracy™ mascara
• Convincing People You Can See The Future
• Cornbeefadon
• Counterclockwise Watch
• Covert Ops for Kids
• Covert Ops for Kids (used)
• Crepes a la Lune
• Crimbo Carol tattoo kit
• Crimbo Cheer tattoo kit
• Crimbo Commerce tattoo kit
• Crimbo Factory surprise box
• Crimbo P. R. E. S. S. I. E.
• Crimbo cookie sheet
• Crimbo crystal shards
• Crimbo dinner
• Crimbo dog sweater
• Crimbo food scraps
• Crimbo hat
• Crimbo pants
• Crimbo paste
• Crimbo peppermint bark
• Crimbo pressie
• Crimbo sapling
• Crimbo smile
• Crimbo stocking
• Crimbo stockings
• Crimbo sword
• Crimbo train emergency brake
• Crimbo training manual
• Crimbomination Contraption
• Crimbosmopolitan
• Crimbot schematic: Snow Blower
• Crimbough
• Crimbow Rainbo
• Crimbuccaneer bombjacket
• Crimbuccaneer breeches
• Crimbuccaneer captain's purse
• Crimbuccaneer fledges (disintegrating)
• Crimbuccaneer fledges (mint)
• Crimbuccaneer flotsam
• Crimbuccaneer invasion map
• Crimbuccaneer lantern
• Crimbuccaneer mologrog cocktail
• Crimbuccaneer nose ring
• Crimbuccaneer piece of 12
• Crimbuccaneer premium booty sack
• Crimbuccaneer rigging lasso
• Crimbuccaneer runebone
• Crimbuccaneer shirt
• Crimbuccaneer squirtblunderbuss
• Crimbuccaneer tattoo gift certificate
• Crimbuccaneer tavern swab
• Crimbuccaneer tricorn
• Crimbuccaneer war standard
• Crimbuccaneer whale oil
• Crimbylow-rise jeans
• Crown of Thrones
• Cycloney
• DIY protonic accelerator kit
• Dad's brandy
• Dallas Dynasty Falcon Crest shield
• Dark Jill-O-Lantern
• Dark Jill-of-All-Trades
• Daylight Shavings Helmet
• Dear Past Self Package
• Deck of Every Card
• Deep Dish of Legend
• Diamond HP-35 Calculator
• Dinsey food-cone
• Dinsey tattoo kit
• Dinsey's glove
• Dinsey's pants
• Dinsey's pizza cutter
• Dinsey's radar dish
• Discontent™ Winter Garden Catalog
• Discount Telescope Warehouse gift certificate
• Distant Woods Getaway Brochure
• Doc's Fortifying Wine
• Doc's Limbering Wine
• Doc's Medical-Grade Wine
• Doc's Miracle Cure
• Doc's Smartifying Wine
• Doc's Special Reserve Wine
• Doll Moll violin case
• Dolph Bossin's Crimbo hat
• Dolph Bossin's charity note
• Dragonscale breastplate
• Drapes-You-Regally
• Dreadsylvania Auditor's badge
• Dreadsylvanian clockwork key
• Dreadsylvanian cold pocket
• Dreadsylvanian cold-fashioned
• Dreadsylvanian dank and stormy
• Dreadsylvanian grimlet
• Dreadsylvanian hemlock
• Dreadsylvanian sleaze pocket
• Dreadsylvanian slithery nipple
• Dreadsylvanian spooky pocket
• Dreadsylvanian stink pocket
• Dressage
• Drip Institute petri dish
• Drip harness
• Driplet
• Dripwood slab
• Drunk Uncles holo-record
• Drunkula's wineglass
• Duke Vampire's regal cloak
• Dungeon Fist gauntlet
• EMD holo-record
• Earring of Fire
• Easter eggnog
• Easter grasshopper
• Ed the Undying exhibit crate
• Eight Days a Week Pill Keeper
• El Vibrato Megadrone
• El Vibrato drone
• El Vibrato energy spear
• El Vibrato helmet
• El Vibrato leg guards
• El Vibrato translator
• El Vibrato trapezoid
• Electric Punch
• Elf Army machine parts
• Elf Guard Field Manual: Culinary Arts
• Elf Guard Field Manual: Culinary Arts (used)
• Elf Guard Field Manual: Extortion
• Elf Guard Field Manual: Extortion (used)
• Elf Guard Field Manual: Wilderness Sleeping
• Elf Guard Field Manual: Wilderness Sleeping (used)
• Elf Guard MPC
• Elf Guard SCUBA tank
• Elf Guard broom
• Elf Guard clipboard
• Elf Guard commandeering gloves
• Elf Guard eyedrops
• Elf Guard fuel tank
• Elf Guard hangover cure
• Elf Guard honor present
• Elf Guard hotpants
• Elf Guard insignia (general)
• Elf Guard insignia (private)
• Elf Guard mouthknife
• Elf Guard officer's sidearm
• Elf Guard patrol cap
• Elf Guard payroll bag
• Elf Guard red and white beret
• Elf Guard safety bear
• Elf Guard squirtgun
• Elf Guard strategic map
• Elf Guard temporary (permanent) tattoo
• Elf Guard tinsel grenade
• Elf Guard war standard
• Elizabeth's Dollie
• Ellsbury's journal
• Ellsbury's journal (used)
• Elron's Explosive Etude
• Elvish sunglasses
• Elvish underarmor
• Emblem of Ak'gyxoth
• Engorged Sausages and You
• Essence of Annoyance
• Everfull Dart Holster
• Extrovermectin™
• Eye Agate
• Eye and a Twist
• FDKOL fire hose
• FantasyRealm guest pass
• FantasyRealm mead
• FantasyRealm membership packet
• FantasyRealm tattoo kit
• FantasyRealm turkey leg
• Faux
• Feliz Navidad
• Ferita Del Petto Zinfandel
• Feynman gate
• Finnish Fish
• First Post shirt - Cir Senam
• First Post shirt package
• Flag by the Foot™
• Flan
• Flash Liquidizer Ultra Dousing Accessory
• Fleshazole™
• Flivver
• Fly-By-Knight Heraldry form
• Folder Holder
• Fourth of May Cosplay Saber
• Frank Gorshin trophy
• Freddy Kruegerand
• French slippers
• French-Transylvanian Dictionary
• Frosty's arm
• Frosty's snowball sack
• Fuzzy Slippers of Hatred
• Gabarbar
• Game Grid valued membership card
• GameInformPowerDailyPro subscription card
• Garland of Greatness
• Gazelleton
• Gazpacho's Glacial Grimoire
• Gene Tonic: Constellation
• Gene Tonic: Horror
• Gene Tonic: Orc
• Gene Tonic: Slime
• General Assembly Module
• Ghiaccio Colada
• Ghosprey
• Ghost Pinching Quarterly
• Giant black monolith
• Ginsu™
• Girdle of Hatred
• Glamare
• Globmule
• Goggles of Loathing
• Golden HP-35 Calculator
• Golden Kokomo Resort Chip
• Golden Mr. Accessory
• Golden Mr. Eh?
• Gordon Beer's Beer Garden Catalog
• Gorillape
• Granny Tood's Thanksgarden Catalog
• Great Ball of Frozen Fire
• Great S-Cape
• Great Wolf's beastly trousers
• Great Wolf's left paw
• Greatest American Pants
• Gregarious Gregorian Smock
• Grey Guanon
• Grim Brothers' story book
• Grimacite Bock
• Grimacite gaiters
• Grimacite galoshes
• Grimacite garter
• Grimacite gasmask
• Grimacite gat
• Grimacite gauntlets
• Grimacite girdle
• Grimacite glaive
• Grimacite go-go boots
• Grimacite goggles
• Grimacite gorget
• Grimacite gown
• Grimacite greaves
• Grimacite guayabera
• Grumpy Bumpkin's Pumpkin Seed Catalog
• Gummi-Memory
• Guzzlr application
• Guzzlr cocktail set
• Guzzlr hat
• Guzzlr pants
• Guzzlr shoes
• Guzzlr souvenir stein
• Guzzlr tablet
• Guzzlr tattoo kit
• Guzzlrbuck
• Gygaxian Libram
• HP-35 Calculator
• Half a Purse
• Hanukkimbo dreidl
• Hat O' Nine Tails
• Hell and How I Bent It
• History's Most Offensive Jokes, Vol. IX
• Hjodor's Guide to Arctic Dalmatians
• Hjodor's Guide to Arctic Dalmatians (used)
• Hodgman's cane
• Hodgman's disgusting technicolor overcoat
• Hodgman's harmonica
• Hodgman's journal #1: The Lean Times
• Hodgman's journal #2: Entrepreneurythmics
• Hodgman's journal #3: Pumping Tin
• Hodgman's journal #4: View From The Big Top
• Hodgman's lucky sock
• Hodgman's whackin' stick
• Holiday Multitasking
• Holiday Multitasking (used)
• Homebodyl™
• Hot Socks
• Hotwire™ brand candy rope
• How To Get Bigger Without Really Trying
• How to Avoid Scams
• How to Hold a Grudge
• How to Lose Friends and Attract Snakes
• How to Lose Friends and Attract Snakes (used)
• How to Tolerate Jerks
• Hoyle's Guide to Reindeer Games
• Hoyle's Guide to Reindeer Games (used)
• Huggler Radio
• Humpty Dumplings
• Idol of Ak'gyxoth
• Inigo's Incantation of Inspiration
• Inigo's Incantation of Inspiration (crumpled)
• Irish eggnog
• Ish Kabibble
• Island Drinkin', a Tiki Mixology Odyssey
• Island Hurricane
• Island Landslide
• Island Thunderstorm
• Item #13
• Iunion Crown
• Jackass Plumber home game
• Jamaican coffee
• January's Garbage Tote
• Jarlsberg's key lime pie
• Jarlsberg's pan
• Jarlsberg's pan (Cosmic portal mode)
• Jarlsberg's vegetable soup
• Jeans of Loathing
• Jekyllin hide belt
• Jeppson's Malort
• Jick's autograph
• Jick-o-User
• Jodhpurs of Violence
• Juju Mojo Mask
• June cleaver
• Junior Adventurer's merit badge
• Junior LAAAAME merit badge
• Jurassic Parka
• Kelflar vest
• Knob Göblin lòve potion
• KoL Con 12-gauge
• KoL Con 13 snowglobe
• KoL Con 3-D Glasses
• KoL Con 8-Bit power bracelet
• KoL Con Cinco Piñata Bat
• KoL Con IV Pole
• KoL Con Six Pack
• KoL Con X Bingo Card
• KoL Con X Treasure Map
• KoLHS Pep Squad Box
• Kokomo Resort Brand Suntan Oil
• Kramco Sausage-o-Matic™
• Krampus Horn
• Kremlin's Greatest Briefcase
• LARP carp
• LARP membership card
• LED candle
• LI-11 Motor Pool voucher
• LIDAR candle
• LOLmec statuette
• LOV Echinacea Bouquet
• LOV Elephant
• LT&T tattoo kit
• LT&T telegraph office deed
• LWA ring
• Lapis Lazuli
• Lava Miner's Daughter
• LavaCo™ Lamp housing
• Lavalos's shell
• Law of Averages
• Lazenby's Life Lesson
• Lazybones™ recliner
• Lead Zeta of Chastity
• Leapin' Trousers
• Left-Hand Man action figure
• Lemonade-235
• Lens of Hatred
• Lens of Violence
• Lepardner
• Letter from Carrie Bradshaw
• Libram of BRICKOs
• Libram of Candy Heart Summoning
• Libram of Resolutions
• License To Kill
• License to Chill
• Lil' Doctor™ bag
• Lil' Snowball Factory
• Little Geneticist DNA-Splicing Lab
• Living to Drink, Drinking to Live
• Loathing Idol Microphone
• Loathing Idol Microphone (25% charged)
• Loathing Idol Microphone (50% charged)
• Loathing Idol Microphone (75% charged)
• Loathing Legion abacus
• Loathing Legion can opener
• Loathing Legion chainsaw
• Loathing Legion corkscrew
• Loathing Legion defibrillator
• Loathing Legion double prism
• Loathing Legion electric knife
• Loathing Legion flamethrower
• Loathing Legion hammer
• Loathing Legion helicopter
• Loathing Legion jackhammer
• Loathing Legion kitchen sink
• Loathing Legion knife
• Loathing Legion many-purpose hook
• Loathing Legion moondial
• Loathing Legion necktie
• Loathing Legion pizza stone
• Loathing Legion rollerblades
• Loathing Legion tape measure
• Loathing Legion tattoo needle
• Loathing Legion universal screwdriver
• Lobster qua Grill
• Loudmouth Larry Lamprey
• Lucky Lindy
• Lucky Strikes holo-record
• Lump-Stacking for Beginners
• LyleCo Contractor's Manual
• LyleCo premium magnifying glass
• LyleCo premium monocle
• LyleCo premium pickaxe
• LyleCo premium rope
• MAHI fez
• Mafia bow tie
• Mafia stogie
• Mafia violin case
• Maiali Sifilitici Pinot Noir
• Make-Your-Own-Vampire-Fangs kit
• Manual of Lock Picking
• Manual of Numberology
• Manual of Secret Door Detection
• Manual of Transcendent Olfaction
• Marltini
• Martialest Arts trophy
• Marvelous Unitard
• Master Thief's utility belt
• MayDay™ contract
• Mayam Calendar
• Mayam spinach
• Mayflower bouquet
• Mayodiol
• Mayoflex
• Mayonex
• Mayor Ghost's khakis
• Mayor Ghost's sash
• Mayostat
• Mayozapine
• McPhee's Grimoire of Hilarious Object Summoning
• Meat Butler
• Meatcleaver
• Mechamelion
• Medallion of the Ventrilo Prince
• Memories of Beanslinging
• Memories of Cow Punching
• Memories of Snake Oiling
• Mer-kin cancerstick
• Mer-kin cookiestove
• Mer-kin darkbook
• Mer-kin eyedrops
• Mer-kin facecowl
• Mer-kin gladiator mask
• Mer-kin gladiator tailpiece
• Mer-kin lunchbox
• Mer-kin rocksalt
• Mer-kin rollpin
• Mer-kin saltmint
• Mer-kin saltsquid
• Mer-kin sawdust
• Mer-kin scholar mask
• Mer-kin scholar tailpiece
• Mer-kin waistrope
• Mer-kin wordquiz
• Merc Core Field Manual: Intimidation Techniques
• Merc Core Field Manual: Sanity Maintenance
• Merc Core challenge coin
• Merc Core deployment orders
• Meteoid ice beam
• Meteorite-Ade
• Milk Studs
• MiniMechaElf Laser Punch Missile Launcher
• Mint Salton Pepper's Peppermint Seed Catalog
• Mint-in-box Moonthril Circlet
• Mint-in-box Moonthril Flamberge
• Mint-in-box Moonthril Greaves
• Mint-in-box Moonthril Longbow
• Mjolnir Jr.
• Mmm-brr! brand mouthwash
• Mob Penguin protection contract
• Monster Manuel
• Moonthril Schnapps
• Moping Artistic Goth Kid
• Morphan
• Mr. Accessaturday
• Mr. Accessory
• Mr. Accessory Jr.
• Mr. Big's Wallet
• Mr. Cheeng's spectacles
• Mr. Container
• Mr. Eh?
• Mr. Exploiter
• Mr. Shirt
• Mrs. Rush
• Mt. Noob Pale Ale
• Mu
• Murgatroyd diode
• Mustardigrade
• My First Paycheck envelope
• My Life of Crime, a Memoir
• My Own Pen Pal kit
• Mysterious Stranger
• N. O. Beer
• Napalm In The Morning™ candle
• Never Don't Stop Not Striving
• Neverending Party guest pass
• New-You Club Membership Form
• Newark
• Newbiesport™ backpack
• No Hats as Art
• Nog-on-the-Cob
• Non-Euclidean Finance
• Novelty Belt Buckle of Violence
• Now You're Cooking With Grease
• Nuclear Blastball
• Official Seal of Dreadsylvania
• Ol' Scratch's stovepipe hat
• Olympic-sized Clan crate
• Oopsie IPA
• Operation Patriot Shield
• Order of the Green Thumb Order Form
• Oreille Divisée brandy
• Oscus's flypaper pants
• Oscus's neverending soda
• Oscus's pelt
• Otorian Battle Scar
• Ouija Board, Ouija Board
• Our Daily Candles™ order form
• PARTY HARD T-shirt
• PB&BP
• Pack of Alice's Army Foil Cards
• Pack of Every Card
• Paint A Vulgar Pitcher
• Panda outfit
• Pantaloons of Hatred
• Pantsgiving
• Para-Pop
• Party Planning on a Budget
• Peaclock
• Peek-a-Boo!
• Pendant of Fire
• Pener's drumstick
• Periodical Paintbrush
• Pete & Jackie's Dragon Tooth Emporium Catalog
• Pete's rich ricotta
• Pete's wiley whey bar
• Petite Paintbrush
• Phonus Balonus
• Pigsticker of Violence
• Pillowbug
• Pink Heart of Spirit
• PirateRealm guest pass
• PirateRealm membership packet
• PirateRealm party hat
• Pizza of Legend
• Platinum Yendorian Express Card
• Pocket Guide to Mild Evil
• Pocket Guide to Mild Evil (used)
• Pocket Professor memory chip
• Pocket Square of Loathing
• Pokéfam Guide to Capturing All of Them
• Pop Art: a Guide
• Power-Guy 2000 holo-record
• Powerful Glove
• Prelude of Precision
• Princess Rutabaga trading card
• Professor of Spelunkology
• Psycho From The Heat
• Puffstone cigar
• Purple Horseshoe of Honor
• Putrid Pendant
• Quartet of Flare Masters Jacket
• Rümpelstiltz
• Rad-B-Gone (1 lb.)
• Rad-Pro (1 oz.)
• Radio Free Baseball Cap
• Radio Free Foil
• Radio Free Jersey
• Radio Free Pants
• Radio KoL Antenna Ball
• Radio KoL Bottle Opener
• Radio KoL Coffee Mug
• Radio KoL Flashlight
• Radio KoL Keychain
• Radio KoL Maracas
• Radio KoL Patch
• Raggedy Hippy doll
• Rainbow Jello Mould
• Rainbow's Gravity
• Recipe of Before Yore: Boris's beer
• Recipe of Before Yore: Boris's bread
• Recipe of Before Yore: Calzone of Legend
• Recipe of Before Yore: Deep Dish of Legend
• Recipe of Before Yore: Jarlsberg's vegetable soup
• Recipe of Before Yore: Pete's rich ricotta
• Recipe of Before Yore: Pete's wily whey bar
• Recipe of Before Yore: Pizza of Legend
• Recipe of Before Yore: St. Pete's sneaky smoothie
• Recipe of Before Yore: baked veggie ricotta
• Recipe of Before Yore: honey bun of Boris
• Recipe of Before Yore: plain calzone
• Recipe of Before Yore: ratatouille de Jarlsberg
• Recipe of Before Yore: roasted vegetable focaccia
• Recipe of Before Yore: roasted vegetable of J.
• Red Balloon of Valor
• Red Fox glove
• Red Roger tattoo kit
• Red Roger's red left foot
• Red Roger's red left hand
• Red Roger's red right foot
• Red Roger's red right hand
• Red Russian
• Retrospecs
• Retrospecs try-at-home kit
• Rock Garden Guide
• Roman Candelabra
• Royal scepter
• Rubee™
• Ruffalo
• S.I.T. Course Completion Certificate
• S.I.T. Course Voucher
• S.L.E.I.G.H.B.E.L.L.S.
• SMOOCH bottlecap
• SMOOCH bracers
• SMOOCH breastplate
• SMOOCH codpiece
• SMOOCH coffee cup
• SMOOCH kneepads
• SMOOCH spaulders
• STYX deodorant body spray
• SalesCo sample kit
• Salsa Caliente™ candle
• Salsa Libre
• Satan hat
• Scandalously Skimpy Bikini
• Scent of a Human™ candle
• Scepter of Loathing
• Sceptre of the Torremolinos Prince
• Schmalz's First Prize Beer
• Scorpion Bowl
• Scratch 'n' Sniff Sticker Tome
• Scratch-and-Sniff Guide to Dinseylandfill
• Scurvy and Sobriety Prevention
• Sealed TakerSpace letter of Marque
• Seasonal Beret
• Secrets of the Master Egg Hunters
• Secrets of the Master Egg Hunters (used)
• Senior LAAAAME merit badge
• Sept-Ember Censer
• Septapus summoning charm
• Seven Loco
• Sexy Cosmo
• Shantix™
• Shield of Icy Fate
• Shore Inc. Ship Trip Scrip
• Shot of Kardashian Gin
• Shrieking Weasel holo-record
• Shrub's Premium Baked Beans
• Silver HP-35 Calculator
• Single Alice's Army Foil
• Site Alpha ID badge
• Size XI Wizard's Robe
• Skull Punch
• Skullhead's Screw
• Sledgehamster
• Sloppy Jalopy
• Sloppy Seconds Diner Employee Handbook
• Slotter
• Small Medium
• Smashmoth
• Smoldering Clover™ candle
• Smuggler's Punch
• Sneaky Pete's key lime pie
• Sneaky Pete's leather jacket
• Sneaky Pete's leather jacket (collar popped)
• Snoutlet
• Snow Suit
• Sockdollager
• Solstice Shield
• Sombrero De Vida
• SongBoom™ BoomBox
• Sorcerers of the Shore Grimoire
• Source terminal
• Source terminal CRAM chip
• Source terminal GRAM chip
• Source terminal SPAM chip
• Sourfinger
• Southern yam
• Souvenir Chopsticks
• Sp'n-Zor's Grimoire of "Tasteful" Gifts
• Space Baby bawbaw
• Space Pirate Astrogation Handbook
• Space Trip safety headphones
• Spacegate Initiative tattoo unit
• Spacegate access badge
• Spacegate diplomat's insignia
• Spacegate emergency disintegrator
• Spacegate military insignia
• Spacegate scientist's insignia
• Spasmi Dolorosi Del Rene Champagne
• Special Seasoning
• Spellbook: Drescher's Annoying Noise
• Spellbook: Singer's Faithful Ocelot
• Spellbook: Walberg's Dim Bulb
• Spelunker of Fortune
• Spelunker's Guild prize sack
• Spelunker's fedora
• Spelunker's khakis
• Spelunker's whip
• SpinMaster™ lathe
• Spirit of Christmas
• Spirit of Easter
• Spirit of St. Patrick's Day
• Spirit of Thanksgiving
• Spirit of Veteran's Day
• Spooky Putty ball
• Spooky Putty leotard
• Spooky Putty mitre
• Spooky Putty monster
• Spooky Putty sheet
• Spooky Putty snake
• Spooky VHS Tape
• Spring Break Beach "swimsuit"
• Spring Break Beach tattoo coupon
• Spring Bros. ID badge
• Spring Bros. solenoid
• Squib
• St. Pete's sneaky smoothie
• St. Sneaky Pete's Whey
• Staff of Blood and Pudding
• Staff of Frozen Lard
• Staff of Holiday Sensations
• Staff of Kitchen Royalty
• Staff of Queso Escusado
• Staff of Simmering Hatred
• Staff of the Black Kettle
• Staff of the Cozy Fish
• Staff of the Deepest Freeze
• Staff of the Electric Range
• Staff of the Grand Flambé
• Staff of the Greasefire
• Staff of the Midnight Snack
• Staff of the Peppermint Twist
• Staff of the Roaring Hearth
• Staff of the Scummy Sink
• Staff of the Soupbone
• Staff of the Teapot Tempest
• Staff of the Well-Tempered Cauldron
• Staff of the Woodfire
• Star Spawn
• Star of Bravery
• Steamboat
• Stembridge sidearm
• Stephen's lab coat
• Stick-Knife of Loathing
• Straypler
• Strong, Silent Type
• Stupid University Diploma
• Superdrifter holo-record
• Superhero Reboots
• Swedish coffee
• Swizzler
• Sword of Procedural Generation
• Sword of the Brouhaha Prince
• TakerSpace letter of Marque
• Tales of Dread
• Tales of Spelunking
• Tales of Western Braggadoccio
• Tales of the Word Realms
• Talisman of Baio
• Talisman of Bakula
• Temporal Tempera Tube
• Tequiz Navidad
• Tesla's Electroplated Beans
• Thanksgiving ration
• That 70s Cologne
• The Ballad of Richie Thingfinder
• The Beast Within™ candle
• The Big Book of Communism (used)
• The Big Book of Every Skill
• The Chill of the Wild
• The Cocktail Shaker
• The Confiscator's Grimoire
• The Crown of Ed the Undying
• The Emperor's dry cleaning
• The Emperor's new hat
• The Emperor's new pants
• The Encyclopedia of Fruit
• The Encyclopedia of Fruit (used)
• The Eye of the Thing in the Basement
• The Fingernail of the Thing in the Basement
• The Firegate Tapes
• The Fun-Guy Cold Weather Bartender's Guide
• The Ghoul King's ghoulottes
• The Gingerbread Vigilante's Handbook
• The Groose in the Hoose
• The Imploded World
• The Kloop in the Coop
• The Legendary Beat
• The Lost Comb
• The Lost Pill Bottle
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 1
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 1 (used)
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 2
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 2 (used)
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 3
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 3 (used)
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 4
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 4 (used)
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 5
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 5 (used)
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 6
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 6 (used)
• The Nose Knows, A Guide to Smells
• The Nose Knows, A Guide to Smells (read)
• The Nuge's favorite crossbow
• The One Mood Ring
• The Pigs holo-record
• The Smith's Tome
• The Spirit of Giving
• The Spirit of Giving (used)
• The Superconductor's CPU
• The Sword in the Steak
• The Thorax's Codex of Tormenting Plants
• The Western Look
• They liver popsicle
• Thinknerd's Grimoire of Geeky Gifts
• Third Eye
• Thor's Pliers
• Three Mile Island shorts
• Thwaitgold Illinigina illinoiensis model
• Thwaitgold amoeba statuette
• Thwaitgold ant statuette
• Thwaitgold anti-moth statuette
• Thwaitgold bookworm statuette
• Thwaitgold bug statuette
• Thwaitgold buzzy beetle statuette
• Thwaitgold fairyfly statue
• Thwaitgold fire beetle statuette
• Thwaitgold harvestman statuette
• Thwaitgold keyhole spider statuette
• Thwaitgold listening bug statuette
• Thwaitgold masked hunter statuette
• Thwaitgold mosquito statuette
• Thwaitgold mosquito-in-amber statuette
• Thwaitgold moth statuette
• Thwaitgold nit statuette
• Thwaitgold praying mantis statuette
• Thwaitgold protozoa statuette
• Thwaitgold quantum bug statuette
• Thwaitgold scorpion statuette
• Thwaitgold shield bug statuette
• Thwaitgold slug statuette
• Thwaitgold splendor beetle statuette
• Thwaitgold termite statuette
• Thwaitgold wolf spider statuette
• Thwaitgold woollybear statuette
• Tickle-Me Emilio
• Tiki lighter
• Time Bandit Badge of Courage
• Time Lord Badge of Honor
• Time-Spinner
• To Build an Igloo
• Toddler-sized Dragon Costume
• Tome of Clip Art
• Tome of Rad Libs
• Tome of Snowcone Summoning
• Tome of Sugar Shummoning
• Too Cold to Hold: How to Be Cool - A Memoir
• Too Cold to Hold: How to Be Cool - A Memoir (read)
• Toot Oriole care package
• Totally Gay Claymore
• Trafikoan
• Trainbot autoassembly module
• Trainbot circuitry
• Trainbot harness
• Trainbot linkages
• Trainbot luggage hook
• Trainbot optics
• Trainbot plating
• Trainbot radar monocle
• Trainbot servomotors
• Trainbot slag
• Trainbot tubing
• Trash, a Memoir
• Travoltan trousers
• Treads of Loathing
• Trivial Avocations board game
• Trout Fishing in Loathing
• Truthsayer
• Turpin
• Turtive
• Turtle Bowl
• UV monocular
• Ultra Mega Sour Ball
• Unagnimated Gnome
• Uncle Crimbo's Sack
• Uncle Crimbo's hat
• Uncle Greenspan's Bathroom Finance Guide
• Uncle Hobo's belt
• Uncle Hobo's epic beard
• Uncle Romulus
• Uncle Romulus (used)
• Unconscious Collective Dream Jar
• Underworld acorn
• Underworld flail
• Underworld trunk
• Ungulant
• Universal Seasoning
• Unkillable Skeleton's breastplate
• Unkillable Skeleton's shinguards
• Unopened Eight Days a Week Pill Keeper
• Unspeakachu
• Uovo Marcio Shiraz
• V for Vivala mask
• Val-U Brand Every Bean Salad
• Valentine
• Valentine's Day cake
• Vegetable of Jarlsberg
• Velougats™
• Velvet Veil
• Vial of jus de larmes
• Victor's Spoils
• Voluminous Radio Hat
• Voluminous Radio Pants
• Voluminous Radio Sneakers
• Vulgure
• Waifuton
• Wal-Mart "diamond" ring
• Wal-Mart nametag
• Wal-Mart overalls
• Wal-Mart snowglobe
• Wal-Mart tattoo kit
• Warehouse 23 bling
• Warehouse 23 crate
• Wart Dinsey: An Afterlife
• Western Slang Vol. 1: Violence
• Western Slang Vol. 2: Cooking
• Western Slang Vol. 3: Fraud
• White Dragon Fang
• Wickers bar
• Winifred's whistle
• Witchess Set
• Wrecked Generator
• Wrotz
• Wullabye
• X-32-F snowman crate
• X-37 gun
• Xi Receiver Unit
• Xiblaxian alloy
• Xiblaxian cache locator simcode
• Xiblaxian circuitry
• Xiblaxian crystal
• Xiblaxian direct marketing simcode
• Xiblaxian holo-bowtie
• Xiblaxian holo-buddy simcode
• Xiblaxian holo-schematic: space whiskey
• Xiblaxian holo-training simcode
• Xiblaxian polymer
• Xiblaxian residence-cube
• Xiblaxian space-whiskey
• Xiblaxian stealth trousers
• Xiblaxian stealth vest
• Xiblaxian ultraburrito
• Xiblaxian xeno-detection goggles
• Xlyinia's notebook
• Yeast of Boris
• Yeg's Motel alarm clock
• Yeg's Motel ashtray
• Yeg's Motel disposable razor
• Yeg's Motel hand soap
• Yeg's Motel minibar key
• Yeg's Motel mouthwash
• Yeg's Motel pillow mint
• Yeg's Motel sewing kit
• Yeg's Motel stationery
• Yeg's Motel toothbrush
• Yolo™ chocolates
• Young Man's Crew Sequester
• Yuleviathan necklace
• Zombo's skullcap
• [glitch season reward name]
• [reuse me]
• a bug's lymph
• a cute angel
• a suspicious address
• abstraction: comprehension
• abyssal battle plans
• actual blood sausage
• adobe abacus
• adobe abaya
• adobe adze
• adobe arsecover
• adobe ascot
• adobe assortment
• adobe ayam
• adobe brittle
• aerosolized aerogel
• agua de vida
• airplane charter: Conspiracy Island
• airplane charter: Dinseylandfill
• airplane charter: Spring Break Beach
• airplane charter: That 70s Volcano
• airplane charter: The Glaciest
• airplane tattoo
• alabaster bishop
• alabaster king
• alabaster knight
• alabaster pawn
• alabaster queen
• alabaster rook
• alien animal milk
• alien plant fibers
• alien plant pod
• alien plant sample
• alien toenails
• alien zoological sample
• anchor bomb
• ancient Elf dessert spoon
• ancient hot dog wrapper
• ancient meat
• ancient oil painting of yourself
• ancient redwood
• ancient turtle shell
• ancient turtle shell powder
• anemoney clip
• anger blaster
• angry agate
• anise-flavored venom
• annealed drippy orb
• anniversary balsa wood socks
• anniversary burlap belt
• anniversary chutney sculpture
• anniversary concrete fedora
• anniversary pewter cape
• anniversary safety glass vest
• anniversary tiny latex mask
• anti-burn cream
• anti-creep cream
• anti-freeze cream
• anti-goosebump cream
• anti-odor cream
• anti-pain cream
• antimatter wad
• antique Canadian lantern
• antique accordion
• antique nutcracker beard
• antique nutcracker boots
• antique nutcracker cape
• antique nutcracker drumstick
• antique nutcracker epaulets
• antique nutcracker figurine
• antique nutcracker hat
• antique nutcracker pants
• antique nutcracker sword
• antique nutcracker waistcoat
• antique tacklebox
• apathetic lizardman doll
• arcanoferric housing
• arrow'd heart balloon
• arse-shooting crossbow
• astral badger
• astronaut ice-cream
• august scepter
• automa-bot parts
• automatic wine thief
• autumn breeze
• autumn dollar
• autumn leaf
• autumn years wisdom
• autumn-spice donut
• autumnal aegis
• autumnic balm
• autumnic bomb
• avatar of the Unconscious Collective
• aviator goggles
• baby camelCalf
• baby chest mimic
• baby rigging snake
• backup camera
• baconstone-handled sixgun
• bacteria bisque
• bad penguin egg
• bag of Iunion stones
• bag of grain
• bagged Cargo Cultist Shorts
• bagged stuffed "L"
• baked stuffing
• baked veggie ricotta casserole
• bakelite backpack
• bakelite badge
• bakelite belt
• bakelite bits
• bakelite bowl
• bakelite breeches
• bakelite brooch
• bakelite-covered bacon
• balsam barrel
• banana candle
• banana split
• banana-frosted king cake
• baneful bandolier
• bar of freeze-dried water
• barnacle-encrusted sweater
• barrel beryl choker
• barrel beryl ring
• barrel-aged eggnog
• basaltamander buckler
• basking robin
• bat wings
• bat-ass leather jacket
• battery (9-Volt)
• battery (AA)
• battery (AAA)
• battery (D)
• battery (car)
• battery (lantern)
• bazooka cozy
• beach ball marble
• beastly paste
• beautiful soup
• beaver punch (cherry)
• beaver punch (papaya)
• beet
• beetle antenna
• beggin' cologne
• beholed bedsheet
• bejazzled eyepatch
• belemnite candy mold
• belt of Ogrekind
• best joke ever
• bewitching boots
• bi-lateral logic compressor
• big bumboozer marble
• big hot pepper
• big ol' trophy
• biker's hat
• bindle of joy
• birdybug antenna
• birthday candle
• black BRICKO brick
• black Crimbo ball
• black candygram
• black catseye marble
• black gallstone
• black velvet box
• black-and-blue light
• blank note
• blank white card
• blood roll-up
• blood snowcone
• blood-drive sticker
• blood-soaked sponge cake
• bloodstick
• bloody kiwitini
• blown-out speaker cone
• blue LavaCo Lamp™
• blue glowstick
• blue lava globs
• blue money bag
• blue plasma ball
• blue plate
• blue pumps
• blue ribbon
• blue rocket
• blue traffic cone
• blueberry muffin
• blueberry-frosted king cake
• bodyguard badge
• bodyslam
• boilgun
• boiling hot cocoa
• bolder boulder
• bomb of unknown origin
• bone broth
• bone flour
• book of facts
• book of facts (dog-eared)
• boot flask
• boot plant
• booze bindle
• booze drive button
• booze mailing list
• boozebomb
• bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon
• bottle of Cochon Noir
• bottle of Crème de Fugu
• bottle of Goldschnöckered
• bottle of Sanguiovese
• bottle of dark rhum
• bottle of extra-dark rhum
• bottle of extra-strength melodramamine
• bottle of fire
• bottle of lovebug pheromones
• bottle of peppermint schnapps
• bottle of single-barrel whiskey
• bottle of super-extra-dark rhum
• bottle-rocket crossbow
• bottled Vampire Vintner
• bottled green pixie
• boulder
• bounty-hunting helmet
• bounty-hunting pants
• bounty-hunting rifle
• bow
• bowl full of jelly
• bowl of Bounty-Os
• bowl of Tastee-Wheet™
• bowl of mernudo
• bowl of oriole's nest soup
• bowl of petunias
• bowl of prescription candy
• bowl of topioca
• bowling ball
• box o' ghosts
• box of bear arms
• box of hickory chips
• boxcar turtle
• boxed Apriling band helmet
• boxed Mayam Calendar
• boxed Sept-Ember Censer
• boxed august scepter
• boxed autumn-aton
• boxed bat wings
• boxed gumball machine
• boxing-glove-in-a-box
• bran muffin
• brass Dreadsylvanian flask
• brass crank handle
• bread man
• bread pie
• bread roll
• briefcase full of sprinkles
• briny vinegar
• brittle plastic handle
• broken BRICKO brick
• broken El Vibrato drone
• broken chocolate pocketwatch
• broken glass grenade
• bronze
• bronze handcuffs
• brown pirate pants
• brown plastic baby
• buñuelos Jaliscos
• bubble-wrap simulator (half broken)
• bubble-wrap simulator (one button left)
• bucket of ancient Vampyre blood
• bucket of anniversary lard
• bucket of wine
• bug juice
• bugbear detector
• bugbear-smiting sword
• bulky free-range mushroom
• bullet necklace
• bunch of bananas
• bundle of "fragrant" herbs
• bundle of firewood
• burnt flower
• burnt stick
• cabooze
• calm attention-deficit demon
• camouflage T-shirt
• campfire baked potato
• campfire beans
• campfire coffee
• campfire hot dog
• campfire s'more
• campfire smoke
• campfire stew
• can of Minions-Be-Gone
• can of Rain-Doh
• can of V-11
• can of franks 'n' beans
• can of mixed everything
• can-you-dig-it?
• candied almond
• candied beef and cabbage
• candied lime
• candied sweet potatoes
• candied yam pinky ring
• candy UFOs
• candy cane candygram
• candy cane sword cane
• candy cornucopia
• candy crayons
• candy dress shoes
• candy drive button
• candy egg deviler
• candy harmonica
• candy mailing list
• candy necktie
• candy rations
• cane-mail shirt
• cannonbomb
• canteen of eggnog
• canteen of jungle juice
• capacitor relay
• capped blue lava bottle
• capped green lava bottle
• capped red lava bottle
• carbonite visor
• card sleeve
• carnivorous potted plant
• carrot cake precipice bar
• cashew
• cat o' nine teeth
• celestial au jus
• celestial olive oil
• celestial squid ink
• cement shoes
• ceramic celery grater
• ceramic celsiturometer
• ceramic cenobite's robe
• ceramic centurion shield
• ceramic cerecloth belt
• ceramic cestus
• ceramic scree
• chalk chain
• chalk chalice
• chalk chapeau
• chalk chinos
• chalk chlamys
• chalk choker
• chalk chunks
• charged magnet
• cheap studded belt
• cheer extractor
• chef skull
• chef-skull-in-the-box
• cherry bomb
• chest of "pirate gold"
• chiffon carbage
• chiffon chakram
• chiffon chamberpot
• chiffon chapeau
• chiffon chaps
• chiffon chemise
• chiffon chevrons
• chiffon lemon
• chili powder cutlass
• chitin powder
• chitin powder paste
• chitinous pod
• choco-Crimbot
• chocolate "Phoenix"
• chocolate box
• chocolate chip muffin
• chocolate covered ping-pong ball
• chocolate cow bone
• chocolate disco ball
• chocolate ostrich egg
• chocolate pocketwatch
• chocolate puppy
• chocolate rabbit's foot
• chocolate seal-clubbing club
• chocolate-covered loofah
• chocolate-frosted king cake
• chocomotive
• ciliophora chowder
• cinnamon machine oil
• clan underground fireworks shop
• class five ecto-larva
• claw-held flag
• clear Russian
• clerical automa-core
• clingfilm cap
• clingfilm slippers
• clingfilm tangle
• clingfilm trousers
• clockwork bartender head
• clockwork bartender-head-in-the-box
• clockwork chef head
• clockwork chef-head-in-the-box
• clockwork chef-in-the-box
• clockwork claws
• clockwork clockwise dome
• clockwork counterclockwise dome
• clockwork detective skull
• clockwork endoskeleton
• clockwork rings
• clockwork sheet
• clockwork spine
• clockwork thingamajig
• cloning kit
• closed-circuit pay phone
• closed-circuit phone system
• clovermint
• club of corruption
• cluster of hops
• coal paperweight
• cocoa chondrule
• coconut bikini top
• coffee pixie stick
• coffee sprite
• cold clusterbomb
• cold medicine cabinet
• cold wad
• collection of tiny spooky objects
• colorful plastic ball
• colossal free-range mushroom
• combat lover's locket
• combat lover's locket lockbox
• comfy blanket
• complex alien plant sample
• complex alien zoological sample
• complicated device
• complicated lock impression
• concentrated cooking
• concentrated fish broth
• coney haunch
• conquistador's breastplate
• consolation ribbon
• container of Spooky Putty
• control crystal
• cookbookbat book
• cool hot cocoa
• cool iron breastplate
• cool iron greaves
• cool iron helmet
• cool iron ingot
• cool mint precipice bar
• cooling iron breastplate
• cooling iron greaves
• cooling iron helmet
• coping juice
• corned beet
• corroded breeches
• corrosive cowl
• corrupt club of corrupt corruption
• corrupt club of corruption
• corrupted bird DNA
• corrupted stardust
• cosmic bucket
• cosmic lemonade
• cotton candy cordial
• counterfeit city
• cozy scarf
• crabsicle
• cranberry cylinder
• cranberry margarita (brackish)
• crappy Mer-kin mask
• crappy Mer-kin tailpiece
• crated wardrobe-o-matic
• crazy bastard sword
• cream of chloroplasts
• creepy-ass club
• crimbo elfling
• crumpled felt fedora
• crunchy brush
• crushed steamer trunk
• cryptic puzzle box
• crystal Crimbo goblet
• crystal Crimbo platter
• crystalline light bulb
• crystalline seal eye
• crystallized memory
• crystallized pumpkin spice
• cuckoo clock
• cup of "tea"
• cuppa Royal tea
• cursed Aztec tamale
• cursed bottle of black-label rum
• cursed dirty joke scroll
• cursed magnifying glass
• cursed microwave
• cursed monkey glove
• cursed monkey's paw
• cursed pirate cutlass
• cursed pony keg
• cursed ring finger ring
• cursed swash buckle
• cursed tricorn hat
• daddy shortlegs leg
• dandy lion cub
• dark chocolate egg
• daub-breaker
• day shortener
• deactivated RoboGoose
• deactivated mini-Trainbot
• deactivated nanobots
• dead guy's piece of double-sided tape
• deanimated reanimator's coffin
• debonair deboner
• decaying wooden pole
• deck of lewd playing cards
• deck of tropical cards
• deed to Oliver's Place
• defective Game Grid token
• defective Golden Mr. Accessory
• deflated inflatable dodecapede
• delectable catalyst
• dental pliers
• depleted Crimbonium football helmet
• depleted Grimacite astrolabe
• depleted Grimacite hammer
• depleted Grimacite ninja mask
• depleted Grimacite shinguards
• designer sweatpants
• designer sweatpants (new old stock)
• detective school application
• detour shield
• deviled candy egg
• devilish folio
• diabolic pizza cube
• diabolical crossbow
• dice belt buckle
• dice ring
• dice sunglasses
• dice-print do-rag
• dice-print pajama pants
• dice-shaped backpack
• digital key lime pie
• dinged-up triangle
• dirty bottlecap
• dirty martini
• discarded button
• disconnected intergnat
• distilled resin
• divine champagne flute
• divine noisemaker
• do-it-yourself laser eye surgery kit
• doll-eye amulet
• donated booze
• donated candy
• donated food
• doppelshifter egg
• double daisy
• double-candied yams
• double-ice britches
• doubt cannon
• dreadful fedora
• dreadful glove
• dreadful roast
• dreadful sweater
• dreaming Jung man
• dregs of a Crimbo cocktail
• dried gelatinous cube
• drink chit
• drippy bezoar
• drippy bromide
• drippy candy bar
• drippy caviar
• drippy diadem
• drippy enzyme
• drippy flux
• drippy grub
• drippy ichor
• drippy khakis
• drippy nugget
• drippy orb
• drippy pigment
• drippy pilsner
• drippy plum(?)
• drippy salt
• drippy seed
• drippy shield
• drippy snail shell
• drippy staff
• drippy stake
• drippy stein
• drippy truncheon
• drive-by shooting
• drive-thru burger
• dromedary drinking helmet
• dropped scrap of paper
• drug cocktail sauce
• druidic s'more
• dude ranch souvenir crate
• dungeon dragon chest
• dusty animal skull
• dusty bottle of blood
• dusty left third rib
• dusty left tibia
• dusty right second rib
• dusty right third front claw
• ear candle
• earthenware muffin tin
• egg gun
• eggman noodles
• eggwater
• elbow soup
• eldritch hammer
• eldritch pants
• eldritch scanner
• electric mushroom
• electric pants
• electrician's hardhat
• electronic Brain Trainer game
• elevenderizing hammer
• elevennis shoes
• elevent
• elf sleeper agent
• elven cellocello
• elven moonshine
• ember egg
• embering hunk
• emergency glowstick
• emergency margarita
• emo roe
• emotion chip
• empty Rain-Doh can
• empty agua de vida bottle
• empty hourglass
• energized spores
• enhanced signal receiver
• envelope full of Meat
• epic cluster
• epic wad
• equal sign
• ert grey goo ring
• especially salty dog
• essential cameraderie
• essential soy
• essential tofu
• etched hourglass
• eternal car battery
• even more tinsel
• everfull glass
• evil flaming eyeball pendant
• evil noodles
• evil paper umbrella
• evil-ass club
• exactly-three-shaped box
• excitement pill
• exclusive ultra-rare item
• expensive cigar
• experimental carbon fiber pasta additive
• expired MRE
• expired bottle of peppermint schnapps
• expired can of franks 'n' beans
• exploding gum
• extra DNA
• extra ooze
• extra special Crimbo stocking
• extra time
• extra-grubby grub
• extra-hard jawbreaker
• extra-strength goo
• extra-strength rubber bands
• eye 'n' horn shampoo
• f3d0r4
• fairy-worn boots
• fake washboard
• familiar scrapbook
• fancy black tie
• fancy calligraphy pen
• fancy canapés
• fancy chess set
• fancy chocolate car
• fancy chocolate sculpture
• fancy party pants
• fancy tophat
• fancy tuxedo pants
• fascinating alien plant sample
• fascinating alien zoological sample
• fear condenser
• feathered headdress
• festive egg sac
• festive warbear bank
• fettucini épines Inconnu recipe
• fetus-smashing club
• fiberglass fibers
• fiberglass insulation
• filled mosquito
• fire ant pheromones
• fire crackers
• fire-roasted lake trout
• fireproof skip lid
• fish sauce
• fish stick cozy
• fishbone kneepads
• fishcake
• fishelada
• fishy fish lasagna
• fishy pipe
• fist turkey outline
• fistful of ashes
• fistful of wood shavings
• five-fingered fern resin
• fixodent
• flagellate flagon
• flagellate soup
• flagstone fez
• flagstone flag
• flagstone flagments
• flagstone flail
• flagstone fleece
• flagstone flip-flops
• flagstone fringe
• flame orb
• flaming familiar doppelgänger
• flaming juggler's balls
• flaming leaf crown
• flaming nose
• flaming pink shirt
• flan del mar
• flapper fly
• flask of egggrog
• flask of embalming fluid
• flask of moonshine
• flavored foot massage oil
• fleshy putty
• flickering pixel
• flimsy hardwood scraps
• floaty gravel
• floaty inverse geode
• floaty pebbles
• floaty rock
• floaty rock helmet
• floaty rock necklace
• floaty rock pants
• floaty stone sphere
• flour cookie
• flyest of shirts
• foam commodore's hat
• foam dart
• foam naval trousers
• folder (Jackass Plumber)
• folder (dancing dolphins)
• folder (holographic fractal)
• folder (skull and crossbones)
• folder (tranquil landscape)
• food drive button
• food mailing list
• foreign box
• forest canopy bed
• fortifying hot cocoa
• four-leaf potato sprout
• fragile Christmas ornament
• fragment of Jarlsberg's soul
• frankincenser
• free boots
• free-range mushroom
• freightcake
• french-fry grabber
• fresh can of paint
• fresh coat of paint
• fried air
• frigid-ass club
• frost-rimed desk bell
• frozen Mob Penguin
• frozen tofu pop
• fruit bat
• fruit-stuffed rumcake
• fruity pebble
• frying brainpan
• fudgesicle
• full lava bottle
• fumble formula
• funky junk key
• funny paper hat
• fuzzy bracelets
• fuzzy polar bear ears
• gabardine smithereens
• gaffer's tape
• gasmask
• gator shades
• gazing shoes
• genie bottle
• ghost pickle on a stick
• ghost shawl
• ghost thread
• ghostly pickling solution
• giant X
• giant fishhook
• giant free-range mushroom
• giant glass of brandy
• giant stuffed bugbear
• gilded BRICKO brick
• gilded BRICKO chalice
• gilded ancient cursed key
• gilded trumpet
• ginger beer
• gingerbeard
• gingerbread dog treat
• gingerbread gavel
• gingerbread moneybag
• gingerbread nylons
• gingerbread pirate
• gingerbread pistol
• gingerbread spice latte
• gingerbread tophat
• gingerbread trousers
• gingerbread waistcoat
• ginormous pumpkin
• ginseng
• glass of "milk"
• glass of drippy wine
• glass of warm water
• glimmering phoenix feather
• glob of extra-green chlorophyll
• glob of salty molasses
• glowing El Vibrato drone
• glowing frisbee
• glyph of athleticism
• gnashing teeth
• gnatwing earring
• gnawed-up dog bone
• goat
• goblin bone hilt
• goblin collarbone
• gold skull ring
• golden banana
• golden fleece
• golden monkey statuette
• golden pet rock
• golden sausage
• goo magnet
• goodberry
• gooey drippy candy bar
• googly chest eyes
• googly-heart hat
• googly-star hat
• gooified animal matter
• gooified mineral matter
• gooified vegetable matter
• gory drippy orb
• government booze shipment
• government candy shipment
• government food shipment
• government per-diem
• government-issued candy
• governor's daughter's lace collar
• governor's daughter's pearl hairpin
• governor's daughter's petticoats
• gravy skin
• gravyskin buckler
• gravyskin hat
• gravyskin pants
• gravyskin skirt
• grease cannon
• greasy desk bell
• greedy ghostling
• green BRICKO brick
• green LavaCo Lamp™
• green and red bean
• green bean casserole
• green glowstick
• green hamhock
• green lava globs
• green marshmallow
• green pill
• green traffic cone
• gregarious ghostling
• grey down vest
• grey gosling
• grim fairy tale
• grimstone galoshes
• grinning ghostling
• grinning turtle
• grog nuts
• groggipop
• groggles
• grogtini
• groose grease
• grouper fangirl
• groveling gravel
• grubby wool
• grubby wool beerwarmer
• grubby wool gloves
• grubby wool hat
• grubby wool scarf
• grubby wool trousers
• grubby woolball
• grue egg omelette
• guffin
• guild application
• guilty sprout
• gummi ammonite
• gummi belemnite
• gummi sword
• gummi trilobite
• gunwale
• gunwale whalegun
• haemolymphnode
• hair of the calf
• hairshirt
• half double fruitcake
• half-digested rat
• half-height cigar
• hamethyst-handled sixgun
• hand of Mr. Cards
• hand turkey outline
• hand-carved bokken
• hand-carved bow
• hand-carved staff
• hand-crafted candy cane
• hand-knitted diving booties
• handful of Boltsmann bearings
• handful of Smithereens
• handful of barley
• handful of bees
• handful of juicy garbage
• handful of split pea soup
• handful of toilet paper
• handmade hobby horse
• hard cocoa
• hard rock
• hardening cream
• hare pin
• harpoon
• haunted bottle of vodka
• haunted doghouse
• haunted eggnog
• haunted pizza
• head of emberg lettuce
• head-mounted Trainbot
• heart of rock and roll
• heart-shaped crate
• heavy hot sauce
• hell in a bucket
• hemlock helm
• hemp backpack
• hermedisiac cologne
• herringcello
• heteroerotic frat-paddle
• hewn moon-rune spoon
• hi-density nylocite leg armor
• hibernating Grimstone Golem
• hibernating robot reindeer
• high-end ginger wine
• hippo tutu
• hobo code binder
• hobo monkey
• hobo nickel
• hockey stick of furious angry rage
• holiday log
• holiday smorgasbord
• holiday trip around the world
• hollow rock
• homeless hobo spirit
• homemade robot
• homemade robot gear
• honey bun of Boris
• honey mead
• honey-drenched ham slice
• honeypot
• hopeful candle
• hot clusterbomb
• hot cocoa au beurre
• hot cocoa with rainbow marshmallows
• hot daub
• hot wad
• hot wine
• hot-ass club
• hourglass
• house of twigs and spit
• house-sized mushroom
• housekeeping automa-core
• hovering sombrero
• huge Crimbo cookie
• huge pumpkin
• human musk
• humming El Vibrato drone
• hungover chauvinist pig
• hypnodisk
• iFlail
• ice baby
• ice house
• ice pick
• ice skate decoy
• ice skates
• icing poncho
• imitation crab zoea
• immense ballet shoes
• immense free-range mushroom
• imported lemon lozenge
• imported taffy
• in-the-box spring shoes
• incense bath ball
• incredibly creepy marionette
• incredibly dense meat gem
• indie comic hipster glasses
• industrial fire extinguisher
• industrial frosting
• industrial lubricant
• industrial strength anti-fungal spray
• industrially-crushed ice
• inert sludgepuppy
• infant sandworm
• infernal snowball
• infinite BACON machine
• inflammable leaf
• inflatable LT&T telegraph office
• inflatable baseball bat
• innuendo
• insulated gold wire
• insulting hat
• intact anemone spike
• intact medium-wave antenna
• interesting clod of dirt
• intergalactic pom poms
• intricate clockwork big hand
• intricate clockwork birdhouse
• intricate clockwork cuckoo
• intricate clockwork disc
• intricate clockwork little hand
• intricate clockwork numeral I
• intricate clockwork numeral II
• intricate clockwork numeral III
• intricate clockwork numeral IV
• intricate clockwork numeral IX
• intricate clockwork numeral V
• intricate clockwork numeral VI
• intricate clockwork numeral VII
• intricate clockwork numeral VIII
• intricate clockwork numeral X
• intricate clockwork numeral XI
• intricate clockwork numeral XII
• intricate music box parts
• invisible bag
• isotophat
• ittah bittah hookah
• jar of anniversary jam
• jar of frostigkraut
• jar of psychoses (Jick)
• jar of psychoses (The Captain of the Gourd)
• jar of psychoses (The Meatsmith)
• jar of psychoses (The Old Man)
• jar of psychoses (The Suspicious-Looking Guy)
• jar of swamp gas
• jewel-eyed wizard hat
• jitterbug larva
• jolly roger tattoo kit
• jug of Sneaky Pete's Mojo
• juggling ball
• jumping horseradish
• kelp-holly drape
• kelp-holly gun
• kerosene-soaked skip
• kevlateflocite helmet
• kill screen
• killer rag doll
• kilopede skull
• kitty sheet music
• knuckle sandwich
• kobold treasure hoard
• kumquartz ring
• lab-grown meat
• labrador cookie
• large pile of sand
• large stone triangle
• laser cannon
• laser targeting chip
• latte lovers member's mug
• lava balaclava
• lavalarva
• lead collar
• lead umbrella
• leafy browns
• leathery bat skin
• left half of a heart necklace
• left-handed melodica
• leftover Crimbo rations
• leftover chocolate bar
• leg-mounted Trainbots
• leggings of the Spider Queen
• less-than-three-shaped box
• li'l ghost costume
• li'l knight costume
• liar's pants
• licorice whip
• lifeless meat doll
• lip soup
• liquid SONAR
• liquid rhinestones
• lit leaf lasso
• little deuce cape
• live lobster
• live nautical mine
• livid energy
• llama lama cria
• loathing eagle baby-doll shirt
• lodestone
• lollipop cufflinks
• longbox of Batfellow comics
• loofah ladle
• loofah lavalier
• loofah lederhosen
• loofah legwarmers
• loofah lei
• loofah lumberjack's hat
• loofah lumps
• loose blade
• lost elf luggage
• love
• lucky Crimbo tiki necklace
• lucky Tam O'Shanter
• lucky Tam O'Shatner
• lucky army helmet
• lucky gold ring
• lucky lighter
• lucky moai statuette
• lucky napkin
• lump of bauxite
• lump of loyal latite
• lupine appetite hormones
• lustrous drippy orb
• luxury fly-tying workbench
• macaroni duck
• machine elf capsule
• mafia wedding ring
• magic dragonfish fry
• magical battery
• magical mystery juice
• magnetic field
• makeshift sixgun
• malevolent medallion
• mana-basted tofurkey leg
• mana-coated yams
• mana-fortified cranberry sauce
• mana-stuffed herbal stuffing
• manly bloomers
• mantis skull
• map to Anemone Mine
• map to Dolph Bossin's hideout
• map to Madness Reef
• map to a candy-rich block
• map to the Dive Bar
• map to the Marinara Trench
• map to the Skate Park
• map to the Sprawling Cemetery
• map to the Towering Mountains
• maple leaf
• marble maebari
• marble magnet
• marble mantle
• marble mariachi hat
• marble medallion
• marble mignonette bowl
• marble molecules
• marshmallow bomb
• marshroom
• martiny
• mashed potatoes
• mass of wriggling tentacles
• massive wrench
• mayfly bait necklace
• mayo pump
• meatball
• meatball machine
• mechanically-mulled cider
• medium stone triangle
• meme generator
• memory of a CA base pair
• memory of a CG base pair
• memory of a GT base pair
• memory of an AT base pair
• mercenary pistol
• mercenary rifle
• mesquito proboscis
• messenger bag RNA
• metallic foil bow
• metallic foil radar dish
• metandienone
• meteor shower cap
• meteorite earring
• meteorite fragment
• meteorite guard
• meteorite necklace
• meteorite ring
• micronova
• milestone
• military candy cane
• military orb
• military-grade peppermint oil
• milk of magnesium
• mime army challenge coin
• mime army infiltration glove
• mime army insignia (infantry)
• mime army shotglass
• mime pocket probe
• mimeplasm
• mince pie
• mini kiwi
• mini kiwi aioli
• mini kiwi antimilitaristic hippy petition
• mini kiwi bikini
• mini kiwi digitized cookies
• mini kiwi egg
• mini kiwi icepick
• mini kiwi illicit antibiotic
• mini kiwi intoxicating spirits
• mini kiwi invisible dirigible
• mini kiwi silicon tiepin
• mini kiwi tipi
• mini kiwi whipping stick
• mini kiwi-flavored aspirin-injecting lipstick
• mini kiwitini
• miniature Embering Hulk
• miniature Jacob's ladder
• miniature carton of clove cigarettes
• miniature coffin
• miniature crystal ball
• miniature deck cannon
• miniature dormouse
• miniature goose mask
• miniature gravy-covered maypole
• miniature power pill
• miniature pruning shears
• miniature stuffed Goth Giant
• miniscule beatbox
• miniscule temporal rip
• mint condition magnifying glass
• mint-condition magic wand
• mint-in-box Powerful Glove
• misfit hobby horse
• misfit teddy bear
• misshapen animal skeleton
• missing semicolon
• missing wine
• moai toai
• moaiball
• model train set
• modern picture frame
• moist Crimbo spices
• moist sack
• molehill mountain
• molten medallion
• moon-amber necklace
• moosemeat pie
• moss floss
• moss mace
• moss mantle
• moss marlinspike
• moss medal
• moss megaphone
• moss mitre
• moss mulch
• mostly-empty bottle of cookie wine
• mother's necklace
• mother's secret recipe
• moveable feast
• muddy skirt
• mulled blood
• mulled wine
• multi-level marzipan
• mummified entombed cookbookbat
• mumming trunk
• mummy costume
• murderbot shield unit
• muscular soup
• mushroom filet
• mushroom slab
• mushroom tea
• mushroom whiskey
• musty moccasins
• mutant crown
• mutant legs
• myrrh pouch
• mysterious chest
• mysterious present
• name change form
• nanorhino credit card
• nasty desk bell
• nasty-ass club
• nativity shorts
• natural magick candle
• naughty fortune teller
• naughty origami kit
• naughty paper shuriken
• nauseating reagent
• navel ring of navel gazing
• ncle leg
• neck wreath
• neg grog
• nega-mushroom wine
• nervous tick egg
• nest egg
• new habit
• newborn kobold
• newly-hatched mayonnaise wasp
• nice warm beer
• nicksilver ring
• nicksilver spurs
• ninja pirate zombie robot
• ninja pirate zombie robot head
• non-Euclidean angle
• norwhal helmet
• nosy nose ringy ring
• note from Clancy
• nothing-in-the-box-in-the-box
• nozzle of the Phoenix
• nuclear stockpile
• numberwang
• nutcracking pliers
• nylon Christmas stockings
• octolus-skin cloak
• odor extractor
• off-hand balloon
• offensive moustache
• officer's nog
• ojo de pez burrito
• old ball and chain
• old dry bone
• old school Mafia knickerbockers
• old-fashioned Crimbo Pressie
• old-school pirate grog
• one million meat pancakes
• one-day ticket to Conspiracy Island
• one-day ticket to Dinseylandfill
• one-day ticket to Spring Break Beach
• one-day ticket to The Glaciest
• one-winged stab bat
• onyx bishop
• onyx king
• onyx knight
• onyx pawn
• onyx queen
• onyx rook
• optimal spreadsheet
• orange boxing gloves
• orange glowstick
• orange peel hat
• orange traffic cone
• organ grinder
• organic potpourri
• origami "gentlemen's" magazine
• origami pasties
• origami riding crop
• ornamental sextant
• ornate ancient cursed chest
• ornate ancient cursed key
• orphan baby yeti
• out-of-work circus flea
• outrageous sombrero
• over-the-shoulder Folder Holder
• overclocked avian microprocessor
• overflowing gift basket
• overloaded Yule battery
• overloaded short-pulse transistor
• overly-fancy hot cocoa
• oxygenated eggnog helmet
• oyster sauce
• packaged Daylight Shavings Helmet
• packaged Everfull Dart Holster
• packaged June cleaver
• packaged Jurassic Parka
• packaged Pocket Professor
• packaged Roman Candelabra
• packaged SpinMaster™ lathe
• packaged backup camera
• packaged cold medicine cabinet
• packaged familiar scrapbook
• packaged industrial fire extinguisher
• packaged knock-off retro superhero cape
• packaged luxury garment
• packaged miniature crystal ball
• packaged model train set
• packet of beer seeds
• packet of mayfly bait
• packet of mushroom spores
• packet of rock seeds
• packet of tall grass seeds
• packet of thanksgarden seeds
• pair of candy glasses
• pair of ragged claws
• pair of scissors
• pair of twitching claws
• papier-mâché handle
• papier-mâché plaque
• papier-mâché trophy piñata
• papier-mâchuridars
• papier-masque
• papier-mitre
• paraffin palazzos
• paraffin pendant
• paraffin pieces
• paraffin pith helmet
• paraffin poncho
• paraffin pseudoaccordion
• paraffin punching bag
• paranormal ricotta
• party crasher
• party pup
• party whip
• passable elf mask
• passed-out psychedelic bear
• patch of extra-warm fur
• pea brittle
• peace shooter
• peace turkey outline
• pearl diver's ring
• peasco sour
• peaza
• pebble of proud pyrite
• pegfinger
• penguin-smacking club
• peppermint bomb
• peppermint donut
• peppermint eel sauce
• peppermint harpoon gun
• peppermint parasol
• peppermint pegleg
• peppermint rhino baby
• peppermint spine
• peppermint sprig
• peppermint syrup
• peppermint tack
• peppermint-scented socks
• perfect Christmas scarf
• perfect ice cube
• perfectly fair coin
• perfectly ordinary frog
• pernicious cudgel
• personal massager
• personal raindrop
• personalizable gingerbread cookie
• personalized coffee mug
• personalized wassail stein
• pet anchor
• pewter candlestick
• pewter shavings
• phase-tuned shield generator belt
• phial of coldness
• phial of hotness
• phial of sleaziness
• phial of spookiness
• phial of stench
• photo booth sized crate
• pickled bread
• picture of you
• piece of cake
• pig-iron bracers
• pile of Trainbot parts
• pile of dirt
• pile of gritty sand
• pile of loose snow
• pile of sand
• pile of smoking rags
• ping-pong ball
• ping-pong paddle
• pink glowstick
• pink plastic baby
• piranha pollen
• pirate encryption key (complete)
• pirate encryption key alpha
• pirate encryption key bravo
• pirate encryption key charlie
• pirate encryption key delta
• pirate fork
• pirate hook
• pirate pantaloons
• pirate radio ring
• pirate shaving cream
• pirate skull
• pirate zombie head
• pirate zombie robot head
• piratical blunderbuss
• pirrrate's currrse
• pixel bread
• pixel chain whip
• pixel energy tank
• pixel grappling hook
• pixel morning star
• pixel orb
• pixel pill
• pixel rock
• pixel star
• pixel stopwatch
• pixel whiskey
• pixie axie
• plaid bandage
• plain brown wrapper
• plain calzone
• plain candy cane
• plain paper hat
• plans for depleted Grimacite hammer
• plastic doll arms
• plastic doll legs
• plastic piranha pot
• plastic pirate hat
• plastic spider ring
• plastic vampire fangs
• plexifoam chin strap
• plexiglass pants
• plexiglass pendant
• plexiglass pikestaff
• plexiglass pinky ring
• plexiglass pith helmet
• plexiglass pocketwatch
• plump free-range mushroom
• plush alielf
• plush alien hamsterpus
• plush dogcat
• plush ferrelf
• plush hamsterpus
• plush mutated alielephant
• plush mutated alielf
• plush sea serpent
• pocket maze
• pocket wish
• pogo stick
• poisonsettia
• polished moon-amber
• polyeaster egg
• polyester pad
• polyester panama hat
• polyester parachute
• polyester peeler
• polyester pettipants
• polyester pulsera
• polyesterene powder
• polymorphic fastening apparatus
• pompadour'd puppy
• poncho de azucar
• pool shark hair oil
• popcorn
• porcelain candy dish
• porcelain pelerine
• porcelain phantom mask
• porcelain plus-fours
• porcelain police baton
• porcelain powder
• porquoise-handled sixgun
• portable Mayo Clinic
• portable Spacegate
• portable housekeeping robot
• portable pantogram
• portable ping-pong table
• portable steam unit
• potato alarm clock
• potato jacket
• potato masher
• potion of punctual companionship
• potted power plant
• potted tea tree
• powdered dice
• powdered gold
• powdered madness
• powdered oxygen
• powdered powdered sugar
• powdered toad horn
• power seed
• pr0n m4nic0tti
• prank Crimbo card
• praying Grim Brother
• precision snowball
• pregnant gloomy black mushroom
• pregnant oily golden mushroom
• prescription teeth whitener
• present
• pressurized potion of possessiveness
• pretty pink bow
• primitive alien blowgun
• primitive alien loincloth
• primitive alien mask
• primitive alien medicine
• primitive alien necklace
• primitive alien spear
• primitive alien totem
• prismatic wad
• pristine piranha seed
• pro skateboard
• profane eye patch
• prohie's hat
• projectile chemistry set
• propeller beanie
• proto-proto-protozoa
• protogenetic chunklet (elbow)
• protogenetic chunklet (flagellum)
• protogenetic chunklet (lips)
• protogenetic chunklet (muscle)
• protogenetic chunklet (synapse)
• protonic accelerator pack
• prototype stimulant
• psychedelic bubble wand
• psycho sweater
• pulled porquoise earring
• pulsing flesh
• pumpkin bomb
• pumpkin spice whorl
• pumpkinhead mask
• punching mirror
• puppet strings
• purple glowstick
• purpleheart "pants"
• purpleheart logs
• putty coat
• puzzling trophy
• pygmy bugbear shaman
• quadroculars
• quantized familiar
• quantized familiar experience
• quantum disintegrator pistol
• quantum of familiar
• quantum watch
• questionable taco
• quicksilver ring
• quicksilver spurs
• radio button candy
• radioactive chew toy
• raffle prize box
• raffle ticket
• ragged wool yarn
• rainbow bomb
• rainbow glitter candle
• rainbow pearl
• rainbow pearl earring
• rainbow pearl necklace
• rainbow pearl ring
• rainbow sauce
• rainbow tie
• rare oboe
• ratatouille de Jarlsberg
• rattlesnake enrager
• raw bread
• raw cranberry sauce
• raw gravy
• raw green beans
• raw mincemeat
• raw potato
• raw stuffing
• raw sweet potato
• raw turkey
• real cowboy hat
• really nice lump of coal
• really nice net
• really tiny cocktail shaker
• record of infuriating silence
• record of tranquil silence
• recovered cufflinks
• red LavaCo Lamp™
• red and white claret
• red coin
• red lava globs
• red money bag
• red plastic baby
• red plumber's boots
• red rocket
• red traffic cone
• red white and blue claret
• red-and-green microcamera
• red-hot medallion
• red-soled high heels
• red-spotted snapper roe
• redwood rain stick
• refrigerated biohazard container
• refurbished air fryer
• regret hose
• rehearsing dramatic hedgehog
• reinforced beaded headband
• reliable sixgun
• repaid diaper
• repaired El Vibrato drone
• replica Elf Guard medal
• replica Ten Dollars
• replica key
• research fragment
• residual chitin paste
• residual zeal
• resolution: be wealthier
• respected companion biscuit
• rhinestone cowhorn
• rhinoceros horn
• ribbon candy ascot
• ribcage rollcage
• rigging knot
• right half of a heart necklace
• rigid carapace
• ring of telling skeletons what to do
• ring of the Skeleton Lord
• roasted vegetable focaccia
• roasted vegetable of Jarlsberg
• robot reindeer protocol D.O.N.N.E.R.
• robot reindeer protocol O.L.I.V.E.
• rock lobster
• rocky road ice cream
• roller skate decoy
• room scale green bean casserole
• root beer barrel
• rotting cowskin
• rubber WWBBDD? bracelet
• rubber baby doll
• rubber cape
• rubber doll body
• rubber doll head
• rum ball
• rum-soaked fruitcake
• runny icing
• rusty hedge trimmers
• rusty metal greaves
• rusty old lantern
• rusty staff
• rusty valve wheel
• rutabuga bag
• rxr shield
• sabre-toothed lime cub
• saffron antaravasaka
• saffron uttarasanga
• salmagumdi
• salt plum
• salt plum sake
• salted mutton
• saltwaterbed
• salty drippy candy bar
• salty gumdrop
• sampler size toothpaste
• sane hatrack
• sangria del diablo
• sardine can key
• sauce of the ages
• sausage golem
• sausage without a cause
• savings bond
• sawed-off blunderbuss
• scabrous seal epaulets
• scary death orb
• scepter of the Skeleton Lord
• scintillating powder
• scrap of sticky paper
• scroll of minor invulnerability
• scroll of protection from lycanthropes
• sea cape
• sea chaps
• sea cowboy hat
• sea mantle
• sea shawl
• sea-worn candlestick
• seal-toothed rock
• sealhide belt
• sealhide buckler
• sealhide cloak
• sealhide gloves
• sealhide hood
• sealhide leggings
• sealhide moccasins
• sealhide seal doll
• sealhide snare
• sealhide whip
• second-hand knockoff engagement ring
• security automa-core
• self-repairing earmuffs
• senate fly thorax
• sentient meat mass
• sequin-encrusted sweater
• set of Unobtainium straps
• severed flipper
• sew-on bandage
• sewer wad
• sewing kit
• shadow bread
• shadow brick
• shadow candle
• shadow candy
• shadow chef's hat
• shadow flame
• shadow fluid
• shadow glass
• shadow hammer
• shadow hot dog
• shadow ice
• shadow martini
• shadow monocle
• shadow nectar
• shadow needle
• shadow pill
• shadow sausage
• shadow sinew
• shadow skin
• shadow stick
• shadow trousers
• shadow venom
• shadowy cheat sheet
• shady shades
• shaking skull
• shark tooth necklace
• sharp tin strip
• shield of the Skeleton Lord
• shim of shame shale
• shimmering tendrils
• shining star cap
• shiny brass tailfeathers
• shiny gold fronts
• shipwright's hammer
• shirt kit
• short beer
• short glass of water
• short stack of pancakes
• short stick of butter
• short white
• shortest-order cook
• shot of Sneaky Pete's Mojo
• shot of wasp venom
• shoulder-mounted Trainbot
• shrine to the Barrel god
• shrink-wrapped 2002 Mr. Store Catalog
• shrink-wrapped Cincho de Mayo
• shuddering cow skull
• sicksilver ring
• sicksilver spurs
• siesta-ing Casagnova gnome
• signal receiver
• silicon-infused gluteal shield
• silk garter snake
• silky pirate drawers
• silver Dreadsylvanian flask
• silver face paint
• silver keg
• silver sausage
• silver table-scraper
• simple ancient cursed key
• single entendre
• single of Inigo's Incantation of Inspiration
• single-use dust mask
• sinister ancient tablet
• sinister demon mask
• sinistral homunculus
• six-rainbow shield
• sizzling desk bell
• skewered cherry
• skewered jumbo olive
• skewered lime
• ski resort souvenir crate
• skull with a fuse in it
• skulldozer egg
• slap and slap again recipe
• sleaze cluster
• sleaze clusterbomb
• sleaze wad
• sleeping patriotic eagle
• sleeping piano cat
• sleeping profane parrot
• sleeping snowy owl
• slicksilver ring
• slicksilver spurs
• slightly thicker filthy rags
• slime fedora
• slime knuckles
• slime waders
• slime-covered compass
• slime-covered greaves
• slime-covered helmet
• slime-covered lantern
• slime-covered necklace
• slime-covered staff
• slimy chest
• slippery when wet shield
• small Crimbo Pressie
• small golem
• small stone triangle
• smoking talon
• smoldering leafcutter ant egg
• smooth velvet hanky
• smooth velvet hat
• smooth velvet pants
• smooth velvet pocket square
• smooth velvet shirt
• smooth velvet socks
• smut orc keepsake box
• snakeskin cowboy hat
• snakeskin jacket
• snakeskin thighboots
• snow belly
• snow fort
• snow hat
• snow machine
• snow pants
• snowman-enchanting tophat
• snowpack
• sober pill
• sock monkey
• soft cap of diminishing returns
• software bug
• soggy elf shoes
• soggy gingerbread chunk
• solid asbestos box
• solid baconstone earring
• solid baconstone ring
• solid chrome box
• solid linoleum box
• solid state loom
• sonar fishfinder
• soul coin
• souvenir flag
• space beast fur hat
• space beast fur pants
• space blanket
• space jam
• space jam toast
• space pirate treasure map
• space trooper helmet
• spaghetti with rock-balls
• spaghetti-box banjo
• spandex anniversary shorts
• spant backplate
• spant egg casing
• spant shield
• spant shoulderpads
• spant spear
• spants
• spare battery
• spare chocolate parts
• spark plug earring
• sparking El Vibrato drone
• sparkling orb
• sparkly engagement ring
• speed limit shield
• spider leg
• spinal-fluid-covered emotion chip
• spinning wheel
• spirit bed
• splendid martini
• spooky bark
• spooky cluster
• spooky clusterbomb
• spooky hi mein
• spooky hockey mask
• spooky rattling cigar box
• spooky wad
• spoon!
• spring shoes
• squeaky toy rose
• squirming Slime larva
• squirmy violent party snack
• stained glass serape
• stained glass shards
• stained glass shield
• stained glass shiv
• stained glass spectacles
• stained glass stetson
• stained glass suspenders
• stained hard candy
• stapler bear
• star key lime pie
• star pop
• star starfish
• status cymbal
• steamed oyster
• steaming evil
• steel knuckles
• steely marble
• stench cluster
• stench clusterbomb
• stench jelly
• stench wad
• stick of dynamite
• stick of firewood
• stick-on eyebrow piercing
• sticky sword blade
• still grill
• stinking agaricus
• stinky cheese ball
• stinky cheese diaper
• stinky cheese eye
• stinky cheese sword
• stinky cheese wheel
• stinky fannypack
• stop shield
• strange shiny disc
• strange stalagmite
• strange stone pyramid
• streetfighting champion's belt
• structural ember
• stuffed "L"
• stuffed Hodgman
• stuffed Mob Penguin
• stuffed bandersnatch
• stuffed can of asparagus
• stuffed caterpillar
• stuffed dinosaur
• stuffed dodecapede
• stuffed dodo
• stuffed ghuol whelp
• stuffed kraken
• stuffed pocketwatch
• stuffed porpoise
• stuffed red and green pepper (stale)
• stuffed sabre-toothed lime
• stuffed walrus
• stuffed yam stinkbomb
• stuffed yeti
• stuffed yo-yo
• stuffed zmobie
• stuffed-shirt scarecrow
• styrofoam peanuts
• sub-molecular interocitor
• subscription cocoa dispenser
• sugar fairy
• sugar raygun
• sugarplum ration
• sun-dried tofu
• sundae ration
• super good fruit
• super-heated leaf
• super-sweet boom box
• super-sweet fish goo (spoiled)
• superduperball
• superhero mask
• sushi doily
• sushi-rolling mat
• suspicious package
• suspicious stocking
• suspicious-looking fedora
• swamp haunch
• sweat-ade
• sweaty balsam
• sweet nutcracker
• sweet potato o' mine
• sweet potato punch
• synaptic soup
• synthetic rock
• synthetic stuffing
• t8r tots
• tabletop candy dispenser
• talisman of Seshat
• talkative skull
• talking spade
• tankard of spiced Goldschlepper
• tankard of spiced rum
• tapped black lotus
• tarnished luggage key
• tarnished metal rod
• tattered paper crown
• tattoo gun
• tattoo of two turkeys
• teacher's pen
• tearaway pants
• teddy bear
• teddy borg sewing kit
• teeny-tiny magic scroll
• temporary X tattoos
• tempura air
• tempura green and red bean
• terra cotta tambourine
• terra cotta tidbits
• terra cotta tie tack
• terra cotta tongs
• terra cotta train
• terra cotta trousers
• terra cotta truss
• terra panna cotta
• testy toolbox
• thanksgiving bomb
• thanksgiving turkey
• the Archwizard's briefs
• the Crymbich Manuscript
• the Crymbich Manuscript (used)
• the Ley Incursion's waist
• thermos of "whiskey"
• thermos of brew
• thicksilver ring
• thicksilver spurs
• thin gold wire
• third ear
• thriftshop coupon
• throbbing rage gland
• throwin' ember
• ticksilver ring
• tie-dye headband
• tied-up flaming leaflet
• tied-up flaming monstera
• tied-up leaviathan
• tin rations
• tin roof (rusted)
• tin star
• tinsel fin
• tinsel orb
• tiny Tina gun
• tiny baby scorpion
• tiny consolation ribbon
• tiny costume wardrobe
• tiny die-cast Don Crimbo
• tiny die-cast Father Crimbo
• tiny die-cast Father Crimborg
• tiny die-cast Rudolphus of Crimborg
• tiny die-cast Uncle Hobo
• tiny die-cast arc-welding Elfborg
• tiny die-cast blade a-spinning
• tiny die-cast death ray in a pear tree
• tiny die-cast goose a-laying
• tiny die-cast stocking-stuffer elf
• tiny die-cast swarm a-swarming
• tiny domino mask
• tiny ember
• tiny frozen prehistoric meteorite jawbreaker
• tiny glowing red nose
• tiny handful of mixed nuts
• tiny plastic "Santa Claus"
• tiny plastic Abuela's cottage
• tiny plastic Armory
• tiny plastic Bar
• tiny plastic Boris
• tiny plastic Bugbear Captain
• tiny plastic Cafe
• tiny plastic Captain Kerkard
• tiny plastic Cheer Core
• tiny plastic Colonel Brando
• tiny plastic Crimbo caroler
• tiny plastic Crimbo cheer
• tiny plastic Dolph Bossin
• tiny plastic Dr. Awkward
• tiny plastic Easter Island Bunny
• tiny plastic Ed the Undying
• tiny plastic Factory
• tiny plastic Jarlsberg
• tiny plastic Jedediah and Boiling Cloud
• tiny plastic Knob Goblin King
• tiny plastic Lord Spookyraven
• tiny plastic Mer-kin baker
• tiny plastic Mirth
• tiny plastic Naughty Sorceress
• tiny plastic Penny
• tiny plastic Sneaky Pete
• tiny plastic St. Patrick
• tiny plastic Susie
• tiny plastic caboose
• tiny plastic chem lab
• tiny plastic coal car
• tiny plastic dining car
• tiny plastic dolphin "orphan"
• tiny plastic food lab
• tiny plastic four-shadowed mime
• tiny plastic goth giant
• tiny plastic locomotive
• tiny plastic multi-level marketer
• tiny plastic nog lab
• tiny plastic passenger car
• tiny plastic primary lab
• tiny plastic protector spectre
• tiny plastic sea elf
• tiny plastic spoiler
• tiny plastic sword
• tiny plastic yuleviathan
• tiny prop sword
• tiny stillsuit
• tiny top hat and cane
• toast with stench jelly
• toe jam
• toe jam toast
• toggle switch (Bounce)
• too legit potion
• tooth cap
• toothy trousers
• topeé
• topiary necktie
• topiary noseplugs
• topiary skunk
• topiary tights
• torquoise ring
• tortoboggan shield
• toxic mop
• toxo
• toy sixgun
• traffic jam
• traffic jam toast
• train whistle
• training scroll: Snokebomb
• trampled ticket stub
• transporter transponder
• traumatic holiday memory
• trench coat
• trench lighter
• triad summoning scroll
• trick coin
• trilobite candy mold
• tropical Crimbo pressie
• tropical island souvenir crate
• trusty torch
• turchucken
• turtling rod
• twice-haunted screwdriver
• twinkly wad
• twist of lime
• twitching claw
• twitching space egg
• twitching trigger finger
• ultimate wad
• ultra-soft ferns
• ultracalcium
• unbreakable umbrella
• uncanny desk bell
• uncapped green lava bottle
• uncapped red lava bottle
• undamaged Unbreakable Umbrella
• undrilled cosmic bowling ball
• unearthed volcanic meteoroid
• unemployed hunchbacked minion
• unevolved organism
• unfinished fruitcake
• unfinished pleasure
• uniclops egg
• universal biscuit
• unlocked meat locker
• unoccupied sheep suit
• unopened Bird-a-Day calendar
• unopened diabolic pizza cube box
• unopened tiny stillsuit
• unpowered Robortender
• untorn tearaway pants package
• unwound cymbal-playing monkey
• unwound mechanical songbird
• unwrapped knock-off retro superhero cape
• vampagne
• vampire pearl necklace
• vampyric cloake
• vampyric cloake pattern
• vanilla-frosted king cake
• velour valise
• velour vambraces
• velour vaqueros
• velour veil
• velour veneer
• velour viscometer
• velour voulge
• velvet choker
• vengeful spirit
• vesper
• vial of humanoid growth hormone
• vicious spiked collar
• villainous scythe
• vintage smart drink
• violent pastilles
• void burger
• void lager
• void shard
• void stone
• voodoo doll
• votive of confidence
• wad of Crovacite
• wad of cotton
• wad of spider silk
• waffle
• walkie-talkie
• walrus ice cream
• warbear badge
• warbear battery
• warbear battle greaves
• warbear bearserker greaves
• warbear bearserker mead
• warbear bearserker potion
• warbear black box
• warbear blizzard mead
• warbear breakfast machine
• warbear ceremonial party pants
• warbear dress bracers
• warbear dress greaves
• warbear dress helmet
• warbear drone codes
• warbear electric long johns
• warbear electric warscarf
• warbear electro-spiked helm
• warbear fancy fedora
• warbear feasting bread
• warbear feasting mead
• warbear feathered fedora
• warbear fleece-lined long johns
• warbear fleece-lined warscarf
• warbear goggles
• warbear heated ushanka
• warbear high festival pants
• warbear hoverbelt
• warbear hoverbelt piecepart
• warbear jackhammer drill press
• warbear laser bowtie
• warbear lined ushanka
• warbear liquid overcoat
• warbear long johns
• warbear nuclear bowtie
• warbear officer greaves
• warbear party pants
• warbear plain fedora
• warbear plain helm
• warbear plain ushanka
• warbear plasma bowtie
• warbear polarized goggles
• warbear snowblindness goggles
• warbear soda machine
• warbear spiked helm
• warbear thermoregulator bread
• warbear wardance potion
• warbear warrior bread
• warbear warscarf
• wardrobe-o-matic
• warm El Vibrato drone
• warm gravy
• water balloon
• water-polo cap
• waterlogged bootstraps
• waterlogged cloth
• waterlogged leather
• waterlogged metal
• waterlogged stuffing
• waterlogged wood
• watermelon
• watermelon seed
• wax hat
• wax pants
• weasel stomping pants
• webbed comic mask
• wedge of gray cheese
• weedy skirt
• weird gazelle steak
• western-style skinning knife
• wet tack
• whale cerebrospinal fluid
• whalecake
• whalegun
• whalesteak
• wheel of camembert
• whet stone
• whirled peas
• white Crimbo ball
• white Dreadsylvanian
• white arm towel
• white candygram
• white elephant gift
• white money bag
• white-label gin
• wicker clicker
• wicker kickers
• wicker knickers
• wicker slicker
• wicker sticker
• wicker ticker
• wickerbits
• wicksilver ring
• wicksilver spurs
• wild honey pie
• wine-soaked bone chips
• wings of fire
• witch's bra
• wizard action figure
• woim
• wok lobster
• wolf whistle
• wolfman mask
• world's most unappetizing beverage
• wormwood stick
• wormwood wedding ring
• wrapped candy cane sword cane
• wrapping paper
• wreath of laurels
• wriggling tentacle
• writhing drippy candy bar
• wrought-iron flakes
• wrought-iron walker
• yam
• yam and swiss
• yam battery
• yam burrito
• yam martini
• yam mayo
• yam slider
• yellow candygram
• yellow puck
• yellow puck with a bow on it
• yellow rocket
• yellow traffic cone
• yield shield
• yule grog
• yule hatchet
• yuletide troll chrysalis
• zen motorcycle
• zombie accordion
• zombie mariachi hat
• zombie monkey necklace