In their foolhardy quest to collect every item, this player comes 2,230 short.

• "DEBBIE" tattoo kit
• "Humorous" T-shirt
• 'Villa' document
• 1 Meat
• 1/6th Pound Cake
• 17-ball
• 2002 Mr. Store Catalog
• A Beginner's Guide to Charming Snakes (used)
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 1
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 1 (used)
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 2
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 2 (used)
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 3
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 3 (used)
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 4
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 4 (used)
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 5
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 5 (used)
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 6
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 6 (used)
• A Guide to Burning Leaves
• A Guide to Safari
• A. W. O. L. commendation
• Acqua Del Piatto Merlot
• Acque Luride Grezze Cabernet
• Admiral's hat
• Adventurer bobblehead
• Adventurer's Kit
• Agent Mauve
• Alice's Army Foil Dervish
• Alice's Army Foil Martyr
• Alice's Army Foil Sniper
• Alice's Army Foil tattoo
• Alice's Army booster box
• All-Hallow's Steve's fright wig
• Amoon-Ra Cowtep's nemes
• Amulet of Yendor
• Annual Ascot
• Antagonistic Snowman Kit
• Apathargic Bandersnatch
• Apriling band helmet
• Arr, M80
• Ascension Souvenir T-Shirt
• Asdon Martin keyfob (on ring)
• Autobiography Of Dynamite Superman Jones (used)
• Ax of L'rose
• BRICKO airship
• BRICKO cathedral
• BRICKO egg
• BRICKO gargantuchicken
• Bag o' Tricks
• Banfoy's Boutique Order Form
• Barney's rake
• Bastille Battalion Fondue Trophy
• Bastille Battalion control rig
• Bastille Battalion control rig crate
• Batfellow comic
• Beach Buck
• Beach Comb
• Beach Comb Box
• Bee's Knees
• Better Shrooms and Gardens catalog
• Bigger Bugfinder Blade
• Bird-a-Day calendar
• Black Bart's Booty
• Black and White Apron Enrollment Form
• Bloodbath
• Boosty Juice
• Boris's Helm
• Boris's Helm (askew)
• Boris's beer
• Boxing Day care package
• Brogre brolo shirt
• Brogre brorts
• Brogre bucket hat
• Buddy Bjorn
• Bugfinder Blade
• Build-a-City Gingerbread kit
• Byte
• C.B.F.G.
• CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 1) (used)
• CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 2) (used)
• CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 3) (used)
• CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 4) (used)
• CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 5) (used)
• CRIMBCO scrip
• CSA fire-starting kit
• Camp Scout backpack
• Cargo Cultist Shorts
• Carol of the Bulls (used)
• Carol of the Hells (used)
• Carol of the Thrills (used)
• Carpathian longsword
• Cat-Herding Prod
• Chalice of the Malkovich Prince
• Charleston shoes
• Chateau Mantegna room key
• Chef Boy, R&D's business card
• Cheshire Bitten
• Chester's Aquarius medallion
• Chester's bag of candy
• Chester's cutoffs
• Chester's moustache
• Chester's muscle shirt
• Chester's sunglasses
• ChibiBuddy™ (on)
• Children's Meal of the Damned
• Chorale of Companionship
• Chroner cross
• Chroner trigger
• Cincho de Mayo
• Clan Carnival Game
• Clan Floundry
• Clan VIP Lounge invitation
• Clan hot dog stand
• Clan looking glass
• Clan pool table
• Clan shower
• Clan speakeasy
• Clara's bell
• Coily™
• Coinspiracy
• Cold Fang
• Cold One
• Colera Peste Nebbiolo
• Comet Pop
• Comma Chameleon egg
• Comprehensive Cartographic Compendium
• Comprehensive Cartographic Compendium (well-read)
• Conspiracy™ mascara
• Cosmic Calorie
• Counterclockwise Watch
• Covers-Your-Head
• Crepes a la Lune
• Crimbo Carol tattoo kit
• Crimbo Cheer tattoo kit
• Crimbo Commerce tattoo kit
• Crimbo Elf creepy bobble-head
• Crimbo P. R. E. S. S. I. E.
• Crimbo bottomless hot cocoa mug
• Crimbo hat
• Crimbo light-up Rudolph doll
• Crimbo pants
• Crimbo pressie
• Crimbo sapling
• Crimbo stocking
• Crimbo stogie-scented room odorizer
• Crimbo sword
• Crimbo tree flocker
• Crimbo ukulele
• Crimbomination Contraption
• Crimbot ROM: Mathematical Precision (dirty)
• Crimbot ROM: Rapid Prototyping (dirty)
• Crimbot ROM: Ruthless Efficiency (dirty)
• Crimbot schematic: Bug Zapper
• Crimbot schematic: Camera Claw
• Crimbot schematic: Data Analyzer
• Crimbot schematic: Hoverjack
• Crimbot schematic: Lamp Filler
• Crimbot schematic: Refrigerator Chassis
• Crimbot schematic: Ribbon Manipulator
• Crimbot schematic: Rocket Skirt
• Crimbot schematic: Swiss Arm
• Crimbot schematic: Tripod Legs
• Crimbot schematic: Wrecking Ball
• Crimbough
• Crimbuck
• Crimbylow-rise jeans
• Crown of Thrones
• DIY protonic accelerator kit
• Daisy's unclean bloomers
• Dallas Dynasty Falcon Crest shield
• Dark Jill-O-Lantern
• Dark Jill-of-All-Trades
• Daylight Shavings Helmet
• Deactivated O. A. F.
• Dear Past Self Package
• Deck of Every Card
• Diamond HP-35 Calculator
• Dickory Farms Gift Basket
• Dinsey's brain
• Dinsey's glove
• Dinsey's pants
• Dinsey's pizza cutter
• Dinsey's radar dish
• Discontent™ Winter Garden Catalog
• Discount Telescope Warehouse gift certificate
• Distant Woods Getaway Brochure
• Doll Moll violin case
• Dragonscale breastplate
• Drapes-You-Regally
• Dreadsylvania Auditor's badge
• Dreadsylvanian clockwork key
• Dreadsylvanian seed pod
• Dreadsylvanian shepherd's pie
• Dreadsylvanian stew
• Drip harness
• Driplet
• Dripwood slab
• Drunkula's bell
• Drunkula's cape
• Drunkula's ring of haze
• Drunkula's silky pants
• Drunkula's wineglass
• Duke Vampire's regal cloak
• Dungeon Fist gauntlet
• Ed the Undying exhibit crate
• Eight Days a Week Pill Keeper
• El Vibrato Megadrone
• El Vibrato drone
• El Vibrato energy spear
• El Vibrato helmet
• El Vibrato leg guards
• El Vibrato restraints
• El Vibrato translator
• El Vibrato trapezoid
• Eldritch Intellect: Journey into a Mind of Horror
• Elizabeth's Dollie
• Ellsbury's journal
• Ellsbury's journal (used)
• Elvish sunglasses
• Emblem of Ak'gyxoth
• En Una Fila Tequila
• Essence of Annoyance
• Essence of Bear
• Everfull Dart Holster
• Fancy Jeff's fancy pocket square
• FantasyRealm Mage's Hat
• FantasyRealm Rogue's Mask
• FantasyRealm Warrior's Helm
• FantasyRealm key
• FantasyRealm mead
• FantasyRealm membership packet
• FantasyRealm tattoo kit
• FantasyRealm turkey leg
• Ferita Del Petto Zinfandel
• Field Guide to Skeletal Anatomy
• Field Guide to Skeletal Anatomy (shredded)
• First Post shirt - Cir Senam
• First Post shirt package
• Flan in the Moon
• Flivver
• Fly-By-Knight Heraldry form
• Folder Holder
• Former Sheriff Dan's tin star
• Fourth of May Cosplay Saber
• Fourth of May Cosplay Saber kit
• Frank Gorshin trophy
• Freddy Kruegerand
• French slippers
• Frosty's arm
• Frosty's carrot
• Frosty's iceball
• Frosty's nailbat
• Frosty's old silk hat
• Frosty's snowball sack
• Game Grid valued membership card
• GameInformPowerDailyPro subscription card
• General Assembly Module
• Ginsu™
• Glenn's golden dice
• God Lobster Egg
• Golden HP-35 Calculator
• Golden Mr. Accessory
• Golden Mr. Eh?
• Gordon Beer's Beer Garden Catalog
• Granny Hackleton's Gatling gun
• Granny Tood's Thanksgarden Catalog
• Gratitude chocolate (octopus-filled)
• Gratitude chocolate (thyme-filled)
• Great Ball of Frozen Fire
• Great S-Cape
• Great Wolf's beastly trousers
• Great Wolf's headband
• Great Wolf's left paw
• Great Wolf's lice
• Great Wolf's right paw
• Great Wolf's rocket launcher
• Greatest American Pants
• Gregarious Gregorian Smock
• Grimacite Bock
• Grimacite gaiters
• Grimacite galoshes
• Grimacite garter
• Grimacite gasmask
• Grimacite gat
• Grimacite gauntlets
• Grimacite girdle
• Grimacite glaive
• Grimacite go-go boots
• Grimacite goggles
• Grimacite gorget
• Grimacite gown
• Grimacite greaves
• Grimacite guayabera
• Grumpy Bumpkin's Pumpkin Seed Catalog
• Gummi-Memory
• Guzzlr application
• Guzzlr cocktail set
• Guzzlr hat
• Guzzlr pants
• Guzzlr shoes
• Guzzlr souvenir stein
• Guzzlr tablet
• Guzzlr tattoo kit
• Guzzlrbuck
• Gygaxian Libram
• HOA citation pad
• HOA regulation book
• HOA zombie eyes
• HP-35 Calculator
• Hanukkimbo dreidl
• Hat O' Nine Tails
• Hell and How I Bent It
• Helps-You-Sleep
• History's Most Offensive Jokes, Vol. IX
• Hjodor's Guide to Arctic Dalmatians (used)
• Hodgman's almanac
• Hodgman's bow tie
• Hodgman's cane
• Hodgman's disgusting technicolor overcoat
• Hodgman's garbage sticker
• Hodgman's harmonica
• Hodgman's imaginary hamster
• Hodgman's journal #1: The Lean Times
• Hodgman's journal #2: Entrepreneurythmics
• Hodgman's journal #3: Pumping Tin
• Hodgman's journal #4: View From The Big Top
• Hodgman's lobsterskin pants
• Hodgman's lucky sock
• Hodgman's metal detector
• Hodgman's porkpie hat
• Hodgman's varcolac paw
• Hodgman's whackin' stick
• Holiday Hal's Happy-Time Fun Book!
• Horsery contract
• Hot Socks
• How to Hold a Grudge
• How to Tolerate Jerks
• Huggler Radio
• Humpty Dumplings
• Idol of Ak'gyxoth
• Inigo's Incantation of Inspiration
• Inigo's Incantation of Inspiration (crumpled)
• Ish Kabibble
• Island Drinkin', a Tiki Mixology Odyssey
• Item #13
• Iunion Crown
• January's Garbage Tote
• January's Garbage Tote (unopened)
• Jarlsberg's pan
• Jarlsberg's pan (Cosmic portal mode)
• Jarlsberg's vegetable soup
• Jekyllin hide belt
• Jeppson's Malort
• Jick's autograph
• Jick-o-User
• Juju Mojo Mask
• June cleaver
• Junior Adventurer's kit
• Junior Adventurer's merit badge
• Junior LAAAAME merit badge
• Jurassic Parka
• KoL Con 12-gauge
• KoL Con 13 snowglobe
• KoL Con 3-D Glasses
• KoL Con 8-Bit power bracelet
• KoL Con Cinco Piñata Bat
• KoL Con IV Pole
• KoL Con Six Pack
• KoL Con X Bingo Card
• KoL Con X Treasure Map
• KoLHS Pep Squad Box
• Kramco Industries packing carton
• Kramco Sausage-o-Matic™
• Kremlin's Greatest Briefcase
• LARP carp
• LARP membership card
• LI-11 Motor Pool voucher
• LOLmec statuette
• LOV Echinacea Bouquet
• LOV Elephant
• LOV Emotionizer
• LOV Enamorang
• LOV Entrance Pass
• LOV Extraterrestrial Chocolate
• LT&T tattoo kit
• LT&T telegraph office deed
• LWA ring
• Lava Miner's Daughter
• Lavalos's shell
• Law of Averages
• Lazenby's Life Lesson
• Leapin' Trousers
• Left-Hand Man action figure
• Liam's mail
• Libram of BRICKOs
• Libram of Candy Heart Summoning
• Libram of Divine Favors
• Libram of Love Songs
• Libram of Pulled Taffy
• Libram of Resolutions
• License to Chill
• Lil' Doctor™ bag
• Little Geneticist DNA-Splicing Lab
• Living to Drink, Drinking to Live
• Loathing Legion abacus
• Loathing Legion can opener
• Loathing Legion chainsaw
• Loathing Legion corkscrew
• Loathing Legion defibrillator
• Loathing Legion double prism
• Loathing Legion electric knife
• Loathing Legion flamethrower
• Loathing Legion hammer
• Loathing Legion helicopter
• Loathing Legion jackhammer
• Loathing Legion kitchen sink
• Loathing Legion knife
• Loathing Legion many-purpose hook
• Loathing Legion moondial
• Loathing Legion necktie
• Loathing Legion pizza stone
• Loathing Legion rollerblades
• Loathing Legion tape measure
• Loathing Legion tattoo needle
• Loathing Legion universal screwdriver
• Lobster qua Grill
• Loudmouth Larry Lamprey
• Lucky Lindy
• Lump-Stacking for Beginners
• LyleCo Contractor's Manual
• LyleCo premium magnifying glass
• LyleCo premium monocle
• LyleCo premium pickaxe
• LyleCo premium rope
• MAHI fez
• Mafia bow tie
• Mafia stogie
• Mafia violin case
• Maiali Sifilitici Pinot Noir
• Make-Your-Own-Vampire-Fangs kit
• Manual of Numberology
• Manual of Transcendent Olfaction
• Map to Kokomo
• March hat
• Marquis de Poivre soda
• Martialest Arts trophy
• Marvelous Unitard
• Master Thief's utility belt
• MayDay™ contract
• Mayam Calendar
• Mayflower bouquet
• Mayodiol
• Mayoflex
• Mayonex
• Mayor Ghost's cloak
• Mayor Ghost's gavel
• Mayor Ghost's khakis
• Mayor Ghost's sash
• Mayor Ghost's scissors
• Mayor Ghost's toupee
• Mayostat
• Mayozapine
• McPhee's Grimoire of Hilarious Object Summoning
• Meatcleaver
• Medallion of the Ventrilo Prince
• Memories of Beanslinging
• Memories of Cow Punching
• Memories of Snake Oiling
• Mer-kin darkbook
• Mer-kin facecowl
• Mer-kin knucklebone
• Mer-kin rollpin
• Mer-kin waistrope
• Merc Core Field Manual: Intimidation Techniques
• Merc Core Field Manual: Sanity Maintenance
• Merc Core challenge coin
• Merc Core deployment orders
• Meteoid ice beam
• Microplushie: Bropane
• Microplushie: Dorkonide
• Microplushie: Ermahgerdic Acid
• Microplushie: Fauxnerditide
• Microplushie: Gothochondria
• Microplushie: Hippylase
• Microplushie: Hipsterine
• Microplushie: Hobomosome
• Microplushie: Otakulone
• Microplushie: Raverdrine
• Microplushie: Sororitrate
• Mini-Crimbot crate
• Mint Salton Pepper's Peppermint Seed Catalog
• Mint-in-box Moonthril Circlet
• Mint-in-box Moonthril Cuirass
• Mint-in-box Moonthril Flamberge
• Mint-in-box Moonthril Greaves
• Mint-in-box Moonthril Longbow
• Miss Graves' vermouth
• Mjolnir Jr.
• Mob Penguin protection contract
• Monster Manuel
• Moon Pie
• Moonthril Schnapps
• Moping Artistic Goth Kid
• Mr. Accessory
• Mr. Accessory Jr.
• Mr. Cheeng's spectacles
• Mr. Container
• Mr. Eh?
• Mr. Exploiter
• Mr. Screege's spectacles
• Mr. Shirt
• Ms. Accessory
• Mt. Noob Pale Ale
• Mu
• Murgatroyd diode
• My First Art of War
• My Life of Crime, a Memoir
• My Own Pen Pal kit
• N. O. Beer
• Never Don't Stop Not Striving
• Neverending Party favor
• Neverending Party invitation envelope
• New-You Club Membership Form
• Newbiesport™ backpack
• Non-Euclidean Finance
• Now You're Cooking With Grease
• Official Council Aide Pin
• Official Seal of Dreadsylvania
• Ol' Scratch's ash can
• Ol' Scratch's infernal pitchfork
• Ol' Scratch's manacles
• Ol' Scratch's ol' britches
• Ol' Scratch's stove door
• Ol' Scratch's stovepipe hat
• Olympic-sized Clan crate
• Oopsie IPA
• Operation Patriot Shield
• Order of the Green Thumb Order Form
• Oscus's dumpster waders
• Oscus's flypaper pants
• Oscus's garbage can lid
• Oscus's neverending soda
• Oscus's pelt
• Otorian Battle Scar
• Our Daily Candles™ order form
• PARTY HARD T-shirt
• Pack of Alice's Army Foil Cards
• Pack of Every Card
• Panda outfit
• Pantsgiving
• Party Planning on a Budget
• Party Tattoo™ gift certificate
• Pecos Dave's sixgun
• Peek-a-Boo!
• Pener's drumstick
• Peppermint Pip Packet
• Periodical Paintbrush
• Pete & Jackie's Dragon Tooth Emporium Catalog
• Pete's wiley whey bar
• Petite Paintbrush
• Phonus Balonus
• PirateRealm membership packet
• PirateRealm party hat
• Platinum HP-35 Calculator
• Platinum Yendorian Express Card
• Pocket Guide to Mild Evil
• Pocket Guide to Mild Evil (used)
• Pocket Meteor Guide
• Pocket Meteor Guide (well-thumbed)
• Pokéfam Guide to Capturing All of Them
• Powerful Glove
• Professor of Spelunkology
• Protects-Your-Junk
• Psycho From The Heat
• Quartet of Flare Masters Jacket
• Quiets-Your-Steps
• Rümpelstiltz
• ROM of Optimality
• Radio Free Baseball Cap
• Radio Free Foil
• Radio Free Jersey
• Radio Free Pants
• Radio KoL Antenna Ball
• Radio KoL Bottle Opener
• Radio KoL Coffee Mug
• Radio KoL Flashlight
• Radio KoL Keychain
• Radio KoL Maracas
• Radio KoL Patch
• Rainbow Jello Mould
• Rainbow's Gravity
• Ralph IX cognac
• Red Fox glove
• Red Roger tattoo kit
• Red Roger's red left foot
• Red Roger's red left hand
• Red Roger's red right foot
• Red Roger's red right hand
• Red Roger's reliquary
• Red Roger's skull
• Rethinking Candy
• Retrospecs
• Retrospecs try-at-home kit
• Rock Garden Guide
• Roman Candelabra
• Royal scepter
• Rubee™
• S.I.T. Course Completion Certificate
• S.I.T. Course Voucher
• SMOOCH bracers
• SMOOCH breastplate
• SMOOCH codpiece
• SMOOCH coffee cup
• SMOOCH kneepads
• SMOOCH spaulders
• STYX deodorant body spray
• Saison du Lune
• Satan hat
• Scandalously Skimpy Bikini
• Sceptre of the Torremolinos Prince
• Schmalz's First Prize Beer
• School of Hard Knocks Diploma
• Scratch 'n' Sniff Sticker Tome
• Scurvy and Sobriety Prevention
• Seasonal Beret
• Senior LAAAAME merit badge
• Sept-Ember Censer
• Seven Loco
• Shrub's Premium Baked Beans
• Silver HP-35 Calculator
• Sister Accessory
• Size XI Wizard's Robe
• Skipper's accordion
• Sloppy Jalopy
• Sloppy Seconds Diner Employee Handbook
• Small Medium
• Sneaky Pete's leather jacket
• Sneaky Pete's leather jacket (collar popped)
• Snow Suit
• Sockdollager
• Solstice Shield
• Sombrero De Vida
• SongBoom™ BoomBox
• SongBoom™ BoomBox Box
• Sorcerers of the Shore Grimoire
• Source shades
• Source terminal
• Source terminal CRAM chip
• Source terminal DRAM chip
• Source terminal GRAM chip
• Source terminal PRAM chip
• Source terminal SPAM chip
• Source terminal TRAM chip
• Sp'n-Zor's Grimoire of "Tasteful" Gifts
• Space Baby bawbaw
• Space Pirate Astrogation Handbook
• Space Trip safety headphones
• Spacegate Initiative tattoo unit
• Spacegate Research
• Spacegate access badge
• Spacegate emergency disintegrator
• Spacegate military insignia
• Spaghetti with Moonballs
• Spasmi Dolorosi Del Rene Champagne
• Spelunker of Fortune (used)
• Spelunker's fedora
• Spelunker's khakis
• Spelunker's whip
• SpinMaster™ lathe
• Spooky Putty ball
• Spooky Putty leotard
• Spooky Putty mitre
• Spooky Putty monster
• Spooky Putty sheet
• Spooky Putty snake
• Spookyraven signet
• Spring Break Beach "swimsuit"
• Spring Break Beach tattoo coupon
• St. Pete's sneaky smoothie
• Staff of Blood and Pudding
• Staff of Frozen Lard
• Staff of Holiday Sensations
• Staff of Kitchen Royalty
• Staff of Queso Escusado
• Staff of the Black Kettle
• Staff of the Cozy Fish
• Staff of the Deepest Freeze
• Staff of the Grand Flambé
• Staff of the Grease Trap
• Staff of the Kitchen Floor
• Staff of the November Jack-O-Lantern
• Staff of the Peppermint Twist
• Staff of the Roaring Hearth
• Staff of the Scummy Sink
• Staff of the Short Order Cook
• Staff of the Walk-In Freezer
• Staff of the Well-Tempered Cauldron
• Staff of the Woodfire
• Star of Bravery
• Stephen's lab coat
• Stupid University Diploma
• Superhero Reboots
• Sword of Procedural Generation
• Sword of the Brouhaha Prince
• Tales of Dread
• Tales of Western Braggadoccio
• Tales of the Word Realms
• Talisman of Baio
• Talisman of Bakula
• Temporal Tempera Tube
• That 70s Cologne
• The Art of Slapfighting
• The Art of Slapfighting (used)
• The Author's ink
• The Ballad of Richie Thingfinder
• The Big Book of Communism
• The Big Book of Communism (used)
• The Big Book of Every Skill
• The Chill of the Wild
• The Cocktail Shaker
• The Confiscator's Grimoire
• The Crown of Ed the Undying
• The Emperor's new hat
• The Emperor's new pants
• The Emperor's new shirt
• The Eye of the Thing in the Basement
• The Fingernail of the Thing in the Basement
• The Firegate Tapes
• The Ghoul King's ghoulottes
• The Groose in the Hoose
• The Inquisitor's unidentifiable object
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 2
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 2 (used)
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 3
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 3 (used)
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 4
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 4 (used)
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 5
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 5 (used)
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 6
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 6 (used)
• The Joy of Wassailing (used)
• The Kloop in the Coop
• The Legendary Beat
• The Necbromancer's Hat
• The Necbromancer's Shorts
• The Necbromancer's Stein
• The Necbromancer's Wizard Staff
• The Necbronomicon
• The Necbronomicon (used)
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 1
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 1 (used)
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 2
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 2 (used)
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 3
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 3 (used)
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 4
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 4 (used)
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 5
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 5 (used)
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 6
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 6 (used)
• The Nose Knows, A Guide to Smells (read)
• The Nuge's favorite crossbow
• The One Mood Ring
• The Plumber's mushroom stew
• The Sagittarian's leisure pants
• The Six-Pack of Pain
• The Smith's Tome
• The Spirit of Crimbo
• The Spirit of Giving (used)
• The Sword in the Steak
• The Western Look
• Thinknerd T-Shirt
• Thinknerd's Grimoire of Geeky Gifts
• Thor's Pliers
• Three Mile Island shorts
• Thunkula's drinking cap
• Thwaitgold bee statuette
• Thwaitgold bookworm statuette
• Thwaitgold butterfly statuette
• Thwaitgold cockroach statuette
• Thwaitgold firefly statuette
• Thwaitgold grasshopper statuette
• Thwaitgold harvestman statuette
• Thwaitgold listening bug statuette
• Thwaitgold maggot statuette
• Thwaitgold moth statuette
• Thwaitgold nit statuette
• Thwaitgold praying mantis statuette
• Thwaitgold protozoa statuette
• Thwaitgold scorpion statuette
• Thwaitgold spider statuette
• Thwaitgold termite statuette
• Thwaitgold wheel bug statuette
• Thwaitgold woollybear statuette
• Tickle-Me Emilio
• Time Bandit Badge of Courage
• Time Bandit Time Towel
• Time Cape
• Time Cloak
• Time Juice
• Time-Spinner
• To Build an Igloo
• Toddler-sized Dragon Costume
• Tome of Clip Art
• Tome of Rad Libs
• Tome of Snowcone Summoning
• Tome of Sugar Shummoning
• Toot Oriole care package
• Totally Gay Claymore
• Travoltan trousers
• Treads of Loathing
• Tropical Crimbo Hat
• Tropical Crimbo Shorts
• Tropical Crimbo Sword
• Truthsayer
• Twitching Television Tattoo
• UV monocular
• Ultra Mega Sour Ball
• Unagnimated Gnome
• Uncle Buck
• Uncle Crimbo's Sack
• Uncle Hobo's belt
• Uncle Hobo's epic beard
• Uncle Hobo's fingerless tinsel gloves
• Uncle Hobo's gift baggy pants
• Uncle Hobo's highest bough
• Uncle Hobo's stocking cap
• Uncle Romulus (used)
• Underworld acorn
• Underworld flail
• Underworld sapling
• Underworld truncheon
• Underworld trunk
• Unfortunato's foolscap
• Unionize The Elves sign
• Universal Seasoning
• Unkillable Skeleton's breastplate
• Unkillable Skeleton's restless leg
• Unkillable Skeleton's sawsword
• Unkillable Skeleton's shield
• Unkillable Skeleton's shinguards
• Unkillable Skeleton's skullcap
• Unmotivator: Crashed Meat Car
• Unmotivator: Crashed Orca
• Unmotivator: Success Warrior
• Unopened Eight Days a Week Pill Keeper
• Uovo Marcio Shiraz
• V for Vivala mask
• Val-U Brand Every Bean Salad
• Valentine's Day cake
• Velougats™
• Vial of jus de larmes
• Volcoino
• Voluminous Radio Hat
• Voluminous Radio Pants
• Voluminous Radio Sneakers
• Wal-Mart "diamond" ring
• Wal-Mart gift certificate
• Wal-Mart nametag
• Wal-Mart overalls
• Wal-Mart snowglobe
• Wal-Mart tattoo kit
• Wand of Oscus
• Warehouse 23 bling
• Warehouse 23 crate
• Warms-Your-Tush
• Western Slang Vol. 1: Violence
• Western Slang Vol. 2: Cooking
• Western Slang Vol. 3: Fraud
• White Dragon Fang
• Witchess Set
• Wrecked Generator
• X-32-F snowman crate
• Xi Receiver Unit
• Xiblaxian 5D printer
• Xiblaxian holo-wrist-puter
• Xiblaxian residence-cube
• Xiblaxian space-whiskey
• Xiblaxian stealth cowl
• Xiblaxian stealth trousers
• Xiblaxian stealth vest
• Xiblaxian ultraburrito
• Xiblaxian xeno-detection goggles
• Xlyinia's notebook
• Yeti Protest Sign
• Yorick
• Yuleviathan necklace
• Zombo's empty eye
• Zombo's grievous greaves
• Zombo's shield
• Zombo's shoulder blade
• Zombo's skull ring
• Zombo's skullcap
• Zu Mannkäse Dienen (used)
• [glitch season reward name]
• [reuse me]
• a cute angel
• abyssal battle plans
• adobe assortment
• adventurer clone egg
• aerosolized aerogel
• airplane charter: Conspiracy Island
• airplane charter: Dinseylandfill
• airplane charter: Spring Break Beach
• airplane charter: That 70s Volcano
• airplane charter: The Glaciest
• airplane tattoo
• alien animal milk
• alien plant fibers
• alien plant pod
• alien plant sample
• alien rock sample
• alien source code printout (used)
• alien toenails
• alien zoological sample
• alpine watercolor set
• ancient redwood
• anemoney clip
• anger blaster
• annealed drippy orb
• anniversary tiny latex mask
• antique 8-Bit Power magazine
• antique painting of a landscape
• antique pair of blue jeans
• antique souvenir drawing
• antique tacklebox
• around the world
• arrow'd heart balloon
• arse-a'fire elixir
• arse-shooting crossbow
• artisanal homebrew gift package
• artisanal homebrew sampler
• asteroid belt
• astral badger
• astronaut ice-cream
• augmented El Vibrato drone
• august scepter
• avatar of the Unconscious Collective
• baby bark scorpion
• baby camelCalf
• baby chest mimic
• backup camera
• backwoods banjo
• bacon bath ball
• baconstone-handled sixgun
• bad penguin egg
• bag of Iunion stones
• bag of airline peanuts
• bagged Cargo Cultist Shorts
• bagged stuffed "L"
• bakelite bits
• balsam barrel
• banana-frosted king cake
• baneful bandolier
• bark beret
• bark boxers
• bark bracelet
• barnacled barrel
• basaltamander buckler
• basking robin
• bat wings
• battered old top-hat
• battoo kit
• bauxite beret
• bauxite bow-tie
• bauxite boxers
• beach ball marble
• beautiful rainbow
• beautiful soup
• beet
• belt of Ogrekind
• best joke ever
• bewitching boots
• big bumboozer marble
• big glob of skin
• big ol' trophy
• big tun
• biker's hat
• bindle of joy
• biomechanical crimborg helmet
• biomechanical crimborg leg armor
• birthday candle
• bitter bowtie
• black candy heart
• black candygram
• black catseye marble
• black velvet box
• black-and-blue light
• blank note
• blank white card
• blood kiwi
• bloody kiwitini
• blue LavaCo Lamp™
• blue glowstick
• blue plasma ball
• blue ribbon
• blue rocket
• blue traffic cone
• blueberry muffin
• blueberry-frosted king cake
• bobble-hip hula elf doll
• body spradium
• bodyslam
• bomb of unknown origin
• bone and arrows
• bone crusher
• bone flour
• bone spurs
• boneana hammock
• bonedanna
• bonerang
• boning knife
• book of facts
• book of facts (dog-eared)
• boot plant
• booze mailing list
• bottle of Goldschnöckered
• bottle of lovebug pheromones
• bottle of single-barrel whiskey
• bottle-rocket crossbow
• bottled Vampire Vintner
• bottled day
• bottled green pixie
• bow
• bow staff
• bowl of Tastee-Wheet™
• bowl of oriole's nest soup
• bowl of petunias
• bowlegged pants
• bowler
• box o' ghosts
• box of Gratitude chocolates
• box of bear arms
• boxcar turtle
• boxed Apriling band helmet
• boxed Mayam Calendar
• boxed Sept-Ember Censer
• boxed august scepter
• boxed autumn-aton
• boxed bat wings
• bran muffin
• brass Dreadsylvanian flask
• brazen bracelet
• brick
• briefcase full of sprinkles
• broken El Vibrato drone
• bucket of ancient Vampyre blood
• buffalo dime
• bugbear detector
• bugbear-smiting sword
• bulky free-range mushroom
• bullet necklace
• bundle of firewood
• burnt snowpants
• burrowgrub hive
• burst hellseal brain
• calm attention-deficit demon
• campfire baked potato
• campfire beans
• campfire coffee
• campfire hot dog
• campfire s'more
• campfire smoke
• campfire stew
• can of Rain-Doh
• can of V-11
• can of fake snow
• can-you-dig-it?
• candy cane sword cane
• candy cornucopia
• carbonite visor
• card sleeve
• caustic slime nodule
• cement shoes
• ceramic scree
• chalk chunks
• cheap plastic kazoo
• cheap studded belt
• cherry bomb
• chiffon carbage
• chocolate bath ball
• chocolate box
• chocolate chip muffin
• chocolate cigar
• chocolate pocketwatch
• chocolate puppy
• chocolate-frosted king cake
• clan underground fireworks shop
• class five ecto-larva
• clockwork bartender-head-in-the-box
• clockwork chef-head-in-the-box
• closed-circuit pay phone
• closed-circuit phone system
• clown hammer
• club of corruption
• coffee pixie stick
• coffee sprite
• cold clusterbomb
• cold medicine cabinet
• colored-light "necklace"
• combat lover's locket
• combat lover's locket lockbox
• comfy blanket
• complex alien plant sample
• complex alien zoological sample
• complicated device
• complicated lock impression
• compounded experience
• conquistador's breastplate
• container of Spooky Putty
• control crystal
• cool iron breastplate
• cool iron greaves
• cool iron helmet
• cool iron ingot
• cooling iron breastplate
• cooling iron greaves
• cooling iron helmet
• cop dollar
• corked genie bottle
• corroded breeches
• corrosive cowl
• corrupt club of corrupt corruption
• corrupt club of corruption
• cosmic bucket
• cotton candy cocoon
• cozy bazooka
• cozy scimitar
• crappy Mer-kin tailpiece
• crate of fish meat
• crated wardrobe-o-matic
• crazy bastard sword
• creepy-ass club
• crimbo elfling
• crumpled felt fedora
• crushed steamer trunk
• crusty hula hoop
• cryptic puzzle box
• crystalline seal eye
• crystallized memory
• cuckoo clock
• cup of "tea"
• cursed breeches
• cursed cutlass
• cursed eyepatch
• cursed magnifying glass
• cursed microwave
• cursed monkey glove
• cursed monkey's paw
• cursed pirate cutlass
• cursed pony keg
• cursed ring finger ring
• cursed swash buckle
• cursed tricorn hat
• custom avatar form
• cymbal syrup
• damp old wallet
• dandy lion cub
• das boot
• deactivated RoboGoose
• deactivated nanobots
• deanimated reanimator's coffin
• deck of lewd playing cards
• deed to Oliver's Place
• defective Golden Mr. Accessory
• defective skull
• deflated inflatable dodecapede
• delectable catalyst
• deluxe Neverending Party favor
• deluxe fax machine
• demon makeup kit
• depleted Grimacite astrolabe
• depleted Grimacite gravy boat
• depleted Grimacite hammer
• depleted Grimacite ninja mask
• depleted Grimacite shinguards
• depleted Grimacite weightlifting belt
• designer sweatpants
• designer sweatpants (new old stock)
• detective roscoe
• detective school application
• detour shield
• diabolic pizza cube
• diabolical crossbow
• dinged-up triangle
• dirty martini
• disconnected intergnat
• disintegrating barrel
• distention pill
• do-it-yourself laser eye surgery kit
• doll-eye amulet
• dollhive
• doppelshifter egg
• double daisy
• doubt cannon
• dreadful box
• dreadful fedora
• dreadful glove
• dreadful sweater
• dreaming Jung man
• drippy bromide
• drippy caviar
• drippy diadem
• drippy enzyme
• drippy flux
• drippy ichor
• drippy khakis
• drippy orb
• drippy pigment
• drippy salt
• drippy seed
• drippy shield
• drippy snail shell
• dropped scrap of paper
• dungeon dragon chest
• dusty barrel
• earthenware muffin tin
• eldritch hammer
• eldritch hat
• eldritch pants
• eldritch tincture
• eldritch tincture (depleted)
• electric Kool-Aid
• electrician's hardhat
• electronic Brain Trainer game
• elevenderizing hammer
• elevennis shoes
• elevent
• elf sleeper agent
• elven whittling knife
• ember egg
• embering hunk
• emo roe
• emotion chip
• empty Rain-Doh can
• empty hourglass
• encoder ring
• enhanced signal receiver
• envelope full of Meat
• etched hourglass
• eternal car battery
• eternal knot tattoo
• evil flaming eyeball pendant
• evil-ass club
• exactly-three-shaped box
• exclusive club
• exclusive ultra-rare item
• expired bottle of peppermint schnapps
• expired can of franks 'n' beans
• exploding cigar
• explosion-flavored chewing gum
• extra special Crimbo stocking
• fairy-worn boots
• fake fake vomit
• fake hand
• fake washboard
• familiar scrapbook
• fancy black tie
• fancy chess set
• fancy party pants
• fancy tophat
• fancy tuxedo pants
• fascinating alien plant sample
• fascinating alien zoological sample
• fear condenser
• feathered headdress
• fettucini épines Inconnu recipe
• fetus-smashing club
• fiberglass fibers
• figurine of a cute baby seal
• figurine of an armored seal
• finger cuffs
• fire crackers
• fist turkey outline
• fistful of ashes
• flagellate flagon
• flagstone flagments
• flaming familiar doppelgänger
• flaming juggler's balls
• flaming leaf crown
• flaming pink shirt
• flashing novelty button
• flavored foot massage oil
• fleshy lump
• flickering pixel
• floaty gravel
• floaty inverse geode
• floaty rock
• floaty rock helmet
• floaty rock necklace
• floaty rock pants
• floaty stone sphere
• flyest of shirts
• foam commodore's hat
• foam dart
• foam naval trousers
• folder (tranquil landscape)
• food mailing list
• foot-long hot daub
• foreign box
• fossilized necklace
• fragment of Jarlsberg's soul
• frankincenser
• free-range mushroom
• fresh can of paint
• fresh coat of paint
• frigid derringer
• frigid-ass club
• frost-rimed seal hide
• funny paper hat
• fustulent seal grulch
• fuzzy bracelets
• fuzzy polar bear ears
• gabardine smithereens
• gasmask
• gattoo
• genie bottle
• genie's pants
• genie's turbane
• ghost pencil
• ghost shawl
• ghost thread
• giant O
• giant X
• giant diamond ring
• giant free-range mushroom
• gift-a-pult
• gilded BRICKO brick
• gilded BRICKO chalice
• ginger beer
• gingerbeard
• gingerbread gavel
• gingerbread house
• gingerbread moneybag
• gingerbread pistol
• gingerbread tophat
• gingerbread trousers
• gingerbread waistcoat
• glass of "milk"
• glass of raw eggs
• glowing El Vibrato drone
• glowing frisbee
• goblin bone hilt
• goblin collarbone
• golden monkey statuette
• golden plastic oyster egg
• golden sausage
• gooey drippy candy bar
• googly-ball hat
• googly-heart hat
• googly-star hat
• gory drippy orb
• grape troll doll
• grease cannon
• greedy ghostling
• green LavaCo Lamp™
• green candygram
• green glowstick
• green traffic cone
• gregarious ghostling
• grey gosling
• grinning ghostling
• grisly shield
• grogtini
• grubby wool beerwarmer
• grubby wool gloves
• grubby wool hat
• grubby wool scarf
• grubby wool trousers
• grubby woolball
• guild application
• haiku katana
• hair of the calf
• hairshirt
• hamethyst-handled sixgun
• hand of Mr. Cards
• hand turkey outline
• hand-carved bow
• hand-crafted candy cane
• handful of juicy garbage
• handmade hobby horse
• hangman's hood
• hardened slime belt
• hardened slime hat
• hardened slime pants
• hare pin
• haunted bindle
• haunted doghouse
• heart-shaped crate
• hemlock helm
• hemp backpack
• heteroerotic frat-paddle
• hewn moon-rune spoon
• hi-density nylocite leg armor
• hibernating Grimstone Golem
• hibernating robot reindeer
• high-end ginger wine
• high-temperature mining drill
• hippo tutu
• hobo code binder
• hobo dungarees
• hobo monkey
• hobo nickel
• hobo stogie
• hockey stick of furious angry rage
• homeless hobo spirit
• homemade robot
• honey bun of Boris
• honey dipper
• honey mead
• honeybritches
• honeycap
• honeypot
• hopeful candle
• hot cluster
• hot clusterbomb
• hot daub bun
• hot daub stand
• hot egg
• hot-ass club
• hourglass
• house of twigs and spit
• house-sized mushroom
• humming El Vibrato drone
• hungover chauvinist pig
• hyperinflated seal lung
• hypnodisk
• iFlail
• ice baby
• ice pick
• ice sickle
• ice skates
• iceberglet
• imbued seal-blubber candle
• imitation nice watch
• immense free-range mushroom
• in-the-box spring shoes
• incense bath ball
• indie comic hipster glasses
• industrial fire extinguisher
• industrial frosting
• inert sludgepuppy
• infant sandworm
• inflammable leaf
• inflatable LT&T telegraph office
• inflatable baseball bat
• innuendo
• insulting hat
• intergalactic pom poms
• intricate clockwork big hand
• intricate clockwork birdhouse
• intricate clockwork cuckoo
• intricate clockwork disc
• intricate clockwork little hand
• intricate clockwork numeral I
• intricate clockwork numeral II
• intricate clockwork numeral III
• intricate clockwork numeral IV
• intricate clockwork numeral IX
• intricate clockwork numeral V
• intricate clockwork numeral VI
• intricate clockwork numeral VII
• intricate clockwork numeral VIII
• intricate clockwork numeral X
• intricate clockwork numeral XI
• intricate clockwork numeral XII
• intricate music box parts
• ittah bittah hookah
• jar of frostigkraut
• jazz soap
• jewel-eyed wizard hat
• jingle bell
• jitterbug larva
• joybuzzer
• jug of Sneaky Pete's Mojo
• kelp-holly drape
• kelp-holly gun
• kerosene-soaked skip
• kevlateflocite helmet
• kill screen
• kitten burglar
• labrador cookie
• large pile of sand
• large stone triangle
• laser cannon
• laser targeting chip
• latte lovers club card
• lava balaclava
• lavalarva
• lavender candygram
• lawn dart
• leafy browns
• leather aviator's cap
• left bear arm
• left half of a heart necklace
• left-handed melodica
• leftover Crimbo rations
• leggings of the Spider Queen
• less-than-three-shaped box
• li'l ghost costume
• li'l orphan tot
• liar's pants
• little box of fireworks
• little deuce cape
• little firkin
• little parachute guy
• llama lama cria
• locked mumming trunk
• longbox of Batfellow comics
• loofah lumps
• loose blade
• love
• lowercase a
• lucky Crimbo tiki necklace
• lucky Tam O'Shanter
• lucky Tam O'Shatner
• lucky gold ring
• lump of bauxite
• lump of not really wriggling eldritch matter
• lupine appetite hormones
• lustrous drippy orb
• luxury fly-tying workbench
• machine elf capsule
• mafia wedding ring
• magical battery
• magical ice cube with a fly in it
• magical pony: Dusk Shiny
• magical pony: Pearjack
• magical pony: Rosey Cake
• magical pony: Shutterfly
• magical pony: Spectrum Dash
• magical pony: Uniquity
• magical sausage
• magical sausage casing
• magnetic field
• makeshift castanets
• malevolent medallion
• map to Anemone Mine
• map to Dolph Bossin's hideout
• map to Madness Reef
• map to the Cursed Village
• map to the Dive Bar
• map to the Marinara Trench
• map to the Mystic Wood
• map to the Putrid Swamp
• map to the Skate Park
• map to the Sprawling Cemetery
• map to the Towering Mountains
• marble molecules
• marinara jug
• mass of wriggling tentacles
• mayfly bait necklace
• medium stone triangle
• memory of a CA base pair
• memory of a CG base pair
• memory of a CT base pair
• memory of a G
• memory of a GT base pair
• memory of an A
• memory of an AG base pair
• memory of an AT base pair
• mercenary rifle
• messenger bag RNA
• meteorb
• meteorite earring
• meteorite fragment
• meteorite guard
• meteorite necklace
• meteorite ring
• meteortarboard
• meteorthopedic shoes
• mini kiwi egg
• miniature coffin
• miniature crystal ball
• miniature deck cannon
• miniature goose mask
• miniature gravy-covered maypole
• miniature stuffed Goth Giant
• miniscule temporal rip
• mint condition Lil' Doctor™ bag
• mint condition magnifying glass
• mint-in-box Powerful Glove
• misshapen animal skeleton
• missing wine
• model train set
• moist barrel
• moist sack
• molten medallion
• monstrous monocle
• mood ring
• moon-amber
• moon-amber necklace
• moss mulch
• mostly rat-hide leggings
• mouldering barrel
• moveable feast
• muddy skirt
• mummified entombed cookbookbat
• mumming trunk
• murderbot memory chip
• musty moccasins
• mutant cactus bud
• mutant fire ant egg
• mutant gila monster egg
• mutant rattlesnake egg
• myrrh pouch
• myrrh-soaked, chocolate-covered bacon bath ball
• mysterious chest
• name change form
• nasty-ass club
• nativity shorts
• naughty fortune teller
• naughty origami kit
• naughty paper shuriken
• navel ring of navel gazing
• neck wreath
• nervous tick egg
• nest egg
• newborn kobold
• newly-hatched mayonnaise wasp
• nice warm beer
• nicksilver ring
• ninja pirate zombie robot
• ninjammies
• normal barrel
• norwhal helmet
• note from Clancy
• nozzle of the Phoenix
• numberwang
• octolus-skin cloak
• odd silver coin
• off-hand balloon
• offensive moustache
• oily golden mushroom
• old dry bone
• old patched suit-pants
• old school Mafia knickerbockers
• old school flying disc
• old soft shoes
• old-fashioned Crimbo Pressie
• one million meat pancakes
• one-day ticket to Conspiracy Island
• one-day ticket to That 70s Volcano
• optimal spreadsheet
• orange candygram
• orange glowstick
• orange traffic cone
• organ grinder
• origami "gentlemen's" magazine
• origami pasties
• origami riding crop
• ornamental sextant
• orphan baby yeti
• outrageous sombrero
• over-the-shoulder Folder Holder
• overcharged El Vibrato power sphere
• oyster egg balloon
• packaged Daylight Shavings Helmet
• packaged Everfull Dart Holster
• packaged June cleaver
• packaged Jurassic Parka
• packaged Pocket Professor
• packaged Roman Candelabra
• packaged backup camera
• packaged cold medicine cabinet
• packaged familiar scrapbook
• packaged industrial fire extinguisher
• packaged knock-off retro superhero cape
• packaged miniature crystal ball
• packaged model train set
• packet of beer seeds
• packet of dragon's teeth
• packet of mayfly bait
• packet of mushroom spores
• packet of orchid seeds
• packet of pumpkin seeds
• packet of rock seeds
• packet of tall grass seeds
• packet of thanksgarden seeds
• packet of winter seeds
• panicked kernel
• pantogram
• paperclip sproinger
• papier-mâché base
• papier-mâché bowl
• papier-mâché glob
• papier-mâché handle
• papier-mâché plaque
• papier-mâché toothpicks
• papier-mâché trophy piñata
• papier-mâchéte
• papier-mâchaeranthera
• papier-mâchine gun
• papier-mâchuridars
• papier-masque
• papier-mitre
• papier-mochi
• paraffin pieces
• parasitic tentacles
• party crasher
• party pup
• party whip
• passed-out psychedelic bear
• peace turkey outline
• peppermint spine
• perfectly ordinary frog
• pernicious cudgel
• perpendicular hula with a fly in it
• personal massager
• personal raindrop
• personalized coffee mug
• personalized wassail stein
• pet rock "Groucho" disguise
• pet rock "Snooty" disguise
• petrified time
• phase-tuned shield generator belt
• photo booth sized crate
• picky tweezers
• pig-iron bracers
• pig-iron helm
• pig-iron shinguards
• pile of loose snow
• pile of sand
• pile of smoking rags
• pile of useless robot parts
• pilgrim shield
• pine cone necklace
• pink candygram
• pink glowstick
• pint of sweat
• pirate fork
• pirate hook
• pirate pantaloons
• pirate radio ring
• piratical blunderbuss
• pixel chain whip
• pixel morning star
• pixel rock
• plans for depleted Grimacite astrolabe
• plans for depleted Grimacite grappling hook
• plans for depleted Grimacite gravy boat
• plans for depleted Grimacite hammer
• plans for depleted Grimacite ninja mask
• plans for depleted Grimacite shinguards
• plans for depleted Grimacite weightlifting belt
• plastic pumpkin bucket
• plastic spider ring
• plastic vampire fangs
• plexifoam chin strap
• plump free-range mushroom
• plush alielf
• plush alien hamsterpus
• plush dogcat
• plush ferrelf
• plush hamsterpus
• plush mutated alielephant
• plush mutated alielf
• plush sea serpent
• pogo stick
• polished moon-amber
• polyesterene powder
• polymorphic fastening apparatus
• porcelain powder
• porquoise-handled sixgun
• portable Mayo Clinic
• portable pantogram
• potted power plant
• potted tea tree
• pottery barn owl figurine
• pottery club
• pottery hat
• pottery shield
• pottery training pants
• pottery yo-yo
• powdered dice
• powdered sealbone
• powdered toad horn
• power seed
• praying Grim Brother
• pregnant oily golden mushroom
• present
• primitive alien blowgun
• primitive alien loincloth
• primitive alien necklace
• primitive alien spear
• primitive alien totem
• prohie's hat
• propeller beanie
• proto-proto-protozoa
• protonic accelerator pack
• psycho sweater
• psychoanalytic jar
• punch-drunk punch
• puppet strings
• purple glowstick
• purpleheart "pants"
• puzzling ribbon
• puzzling trophy
• pygmy bugbear shaman
• quantized familiar
• quantum disintegrator pistol
• quicksilver ring
• radio button candy
• raffle prize box
• raffle ticket
• rainbow pearl
• rainbow pearl earring
• rainbow pearl necklace
• rainbow pearl ring
• rare oboe
• ratatouille de Jarlsberg
• ratskin pajama pants
• real cowboy hat
• really nice lump of coal
• record of infuriating silence
• record of infuriating silence (used)
• record of menacing silence
• record of menacing silence (used)
• record of tranquil silence
• record of tranquil silence (used)
• recovered cufflinks
• red LavaCo Lamp™
• red plumber's boots
• red rocket
• red traffic cone
• red wagon
• red-hot medallion
• red-spotted snapper roe
• redwood rain stick
• refrigerated biohazard container
• regret hose
• rehearsing dramatic hedgehog
• reliable sixgun
• repaid diaper
• repaired El Vibrato drone
• replica Ten Dollars
• replica bat-oomerang
• replica key
• research fragment
• ribbon candy ascot
• rickety old unicycle
• ridiculous belt
• right bear arm
• right half of a heart necklace
• ring of the Skeleton Lord
• robot reindeer protocol O.L.I.V.E.
• rock lobster
• rocky road ice cream
• rope with some soap on it
• rose-colored glasses
• rotting barrel
• rubber WWBBDD? bracelet
• rubber emo roe
• rune-strewn spoon cocoon
• rusty metal greaves
• rxr shield
• s'more
• sack lunch
• saltwaterbed
• salty drippy candy bar
• sane hatrack
• sangria del diablo
• sardine can key
• sausage golem
• scabrous seal epaulets
• scepter of the Skeleton Lord
• scrap of shadow
• sea cape
• sea mantle
• sea shawl
• sea-worn candlestick
• seal lube
• seal medal
• seal-toothed rock
• sealhide belt
• sealhide buckler
• sealhide cloak
• sealhide gloves
• sealhide hood
• sealhide leggings
• sealhide moccasins
• sealhide whip
• sealskin drum
• second-hand knockoff engagement ring
• secret from the future
• set of Unobtainium straps
• severed rocking horse head
• shadow candle
• shadow chef's hat
• shadow hammer
• shadow hot dog
• shadow martini
• shadow monocle
• shadow needle
• shadow pill
• shadow trousers
• shadowy cheat sheet
• shaking skull
• shapeless wide-brimmed hat
• sharp tin strip
• sharpened hubcap
• shield of the Skeleton Lord
• shooting morning star
• shortest-order cook
• shot of Sneaky Pete's Mojo
• shrine to the Barrel god
• shrink-wrapped 2002 Mr. Store Catalog
• shrink-wrapped Cincho de Mayo
• sicksilver ring
• siesta-ing Casagnova gnome
• signal receiver
• silent beret
• silicon-infused gluteal shield
• silk garter snake
• silver Dreadsylvanian flask
• silver sausage
• single atom
• sinister ancient tablet
• sinister demon mask
• sinistral homunculus
• sizzling seal fat
• skewered cherry
• skewered jumbo olive
• skewered lime
• skull capacitor
• slap and slap again recipe
• slap and tickle with a fly in it
• sleaze clusterbomb
• sleeping patriotic eagle
• sleeping piano cat
• slicksilver ring
• slime-covered club
• slime-covered compass
• slime-covered greaves
• slime-covered helmet
• slime-covered lantern
• slime-covered necklace
• slime-covered shovel
• slime-covered speargun
• slime-covered staff
• slime-soaked brain
• slime-soaked hypophysis
• slime-soaked sweat gland
• slippery when wet shield
• small Crimbo Pressie
• small golem
• small stone triangle
• smoldering bagel punch
• smoldering box
• smooth velvet hanky
• smooth velvet hat
• smooth velvet pants
• smooth velvet pocket square
• smooth velvet shirt
• smooth velvet socks
• sneakeasies
• sneaky wrapping paper
• snow belly
• snow hat
• snow pants
• snowpack
• sober pill
• soft cap of diminishing returns
• soggy elf shoes
• solid asbestos box
• solid chrome box
• solid linoleum box
• solid shifting time weirdness
• sorority girl's box
• soul coin
• soul mask
• soul monocle
• space beast fur hat
• space beast fur pants
• space beast fur whip
• space pirate treasure map
• space planula
• space trooper helmet
• spaghetti breakfast
• spaghetti with rock-balls
• spaghetti-box banjo
• spant backplate
• spant egg casing
• spant shield
• spant shoulderpads
• spant spear
• spants
• spare chocolate parts
• sparking El Vibrato drone
• sparkly engagement ring
• special edition Batfellow comic
• speed limit shield
• spice melange
• spinal-fluid-covered emotion chip
• spinning wheel
• spirit bell
• spooky clusterbomb
• spooky rattling cigar box
• spring shoes
• sprinkles
• squamous polyp
• squirming Slime larva
• squirmy violent party snack
• stained glass shards
• standards and practices guide
• status cymbal
• steaming evil
• steel knuckles
• stick-on eyebrow piercing
• sticky sword blade
• still grill
• still-beating spleen
• stinky cheese ball
• stinky cheese diaper
• stinky cheese eye
• stinky cheese sword
• stinky cheese wheel
• stone turtle
• stop shield
• strange stone pyramid
• streetfighting champion's belt
• string of Crimbo lights
• studded sealhide shield
• stuffed "L"
• stuffed Hodgman
• stuffed bandersnatch
• stuffed carpenter
• stuffed caterpillar
• stuffed club
• stuffed dodo
• stuffed porpoise
• stuffed walrus
• stuffed yo-yo
• stuffed-shirt scarecrow
• styrofoam peanuts
• subscription cocoa dispenser
• sugar chapeau
• sugar raygun
• sugar shank
• sugar shield
• sugar shillelagh
• sugar shirt
• sugar shotgun
• super-sweet boom box
• superduperball
• superhero mask
• suspicious package
• suspicious stocking
• suspicious-looking fedora
• sweet nutcracker
• synthetic dog hair pill
• tabletop candy dispenser
• talisman of Seshat
• talkative skull
• talking spade
• tapped black lotus
• tattered paper crown
• tattoo gun
• tearaway pants
• terra cotta tidbits
• testy toolbox
• the Archwizard's briefs
• the Ley Incursion's waist
• the finger
• thermos of "whiskey"
• thicksilver ring
• throbbing rage gland
• ticksilver ring
• tie-dye headband
• tie-dyed fannypack
• time helmet
• time sleigh
• time sword
• time trousers
• time-twitching toolbelt
• tin rations
• tin roof (rusted)
• tin star
• tiny Tina gun
• tiny black hole
• tiny costume wardrobe
• tiny frozen prehistoric meteorite jawbreaker
• tiny glowing red nose
• tiny plastic Boris
• tiny plastic Dr. Awkward
• tiny plastic Ed the Undying
• tiny plastic Jarlsberg
• tiny plastic Lord Spookyraven
• tiny plastic Naughty Sorceress
• tiny plastic Sneaky Pete
• tiny plastic Susie
• tiny plastic four-shadowed mime
• tiny plastic protector spectre
• tiny plastic spoiler
• tiny plastic sword
• tiny stillsuit
• topiary noseplugs
• toxic mop
• toy sixgun
• training scroll: Shattering Punch
• tree skirt
• trench lighter
• tropical Crimbo pressie
• tropical wrapping paper
• trusty torch
• twitching space egg
• ultimate wad
• unbreakable umbrella
• undamaged Unbreakable Umbrella
• undrilled cosmic bowling ball
• unearthed volcanic meteoroid
• unemployed hunchbacked minion
• unevolved organism
• unfinished ice sculpture
• uniclops egg
• unoccupied sheep suit
• unopened Bird-a-Day calendar
• unopened diabolic pizza cube box
• unopened tiny stillsuit
• unpowered Robortender
• untorn tearaway pants package
• unwound cymbal-playing monkey
• unwound mechanical songbird
• unwrapped knock-off retro superhero cape
• vampire glitter
• vampyric cloake
• vampyric cloake pattern
• vanilla-frosted king cake
• velour veneer
• very large caltrop
• vesper
• villainous scythe
• void burger
• void lager
• void shard
• voodoo doll
• voter registration form
• wad of Crovacite
• wad of cotton
• wad of spider silk
• walkie-talkie
• walrus ice cream
• warbear LP-ROM burner
• warbear battle greaves
• warbear black box
• warbear breakfast machine
• warbear ceremonial party pants
• warbear dress bracers
• warbear dress greaves
• warbear dress helmet
• warbear empathy chip (used)
• warbear fancy fedora
• warbear feathered fedora
• warbear fleece-lined long johns
• warbear fleece-lined warscarf
• warbear goggles
• warbear gyrocopter
• warbear high festival pants
• warbear induction oven
• warbear laser bowtie
• warbear lined ushanka
• warbear metalworking primer (used)
• warbear party pants
• warbear plain fedora
• warbear plain helm
• warbear plain ushanka
• warbear plasma bowtie
• warbear snowblindness goggles
• warbear soda machine
• warbear spiked helm
• wardrobe-o-matic
• warm El Vibrato drone
• warm fur
• washboard shield
• water-polo cap
• water-polo mitt
• wax face
• wax lips
• weathered barrel
• webbed comic mask
• wedge of gray cheese
• weedy skirt
• western-style skinning knife
• white Dreadsylvanian
• white candygram
• white earbuds
• white-label gin
• whoopie cushion
• wickerbits
• wicksilver ring
• wild honey pie
• wind-up chattering teeth
• witch's bra
• wizard action figure
• wolf whistle
• world's most unappetizing beverage
• wormwood stick
• wormwood wedding ring
• wrapped candy cane sword cane
• wrapping paper
• writhing drippy candy bar
• wrought-iron flakes
• wumpus hair
• wumpus-hair bolo
• wumpus-hair loincloth
• wumpus-hair net
• wumpus-hair sweater
• wumpus-hair whip
• wumpus-hair wig
• x-ray specs
• xo-skeleton-in-a-box
• yam battery
• yellow candygram
• yellow glowstick
• yellow puck
• yellow puck with a bow on it
• yellow rocket
• yellow snowcone
• yellow traffic cone
• yield shield
• your own black heart
• yuletide troll chrysalis
• zombie accordion
• zombie mariachi hat
• zombie mariachi pants
• zombie monkey necklace