In their foolhardy quest to collect every item, this player comes 1,612 short.

• 'Villa' document
• 1 Meat
• 17-ball
• 2002 Mr. Store Catalog
• A Guide to Burning Leaves
• A Guide to Safari
• Acqua Del Piatto Merlot
• Acque Luride Grezze Cabernet
• Admiral's hat
• Adventurer bobblehead
• Adventurer's Kit
• Aluminum Epsilon of Humility
• Amoon-Ra Cowtep's nemes
• Ancient Saucehelm
• Annual Ascot
• Antagonistic Snowman Kit
• Apathargic Bandersnatch
• Apriling band helmet
• Ascension Souvenir T-Shirt
• Asdon Martin keyfob (on ring)
• Ass-Stompers of Violence
• BURT
• Banfoy's Boutique Order Form
• Barney's rake
• Baron von Ratsworth's money clip
• Baron von Ratsworth's tophat
• Bastille Battalion Fondue Trophy
• Bastille Battalion control rig
• Bastille Battalion control rig crate
• Batfellow comic
• Beach Comb
• Bee's Knees
• Belt of Loathing
• Bigger Bugfinder Blade
• Bird-a-Day calendar
• Black Bart's Booty
• Black and White Apron Meal Kit
• Bling of the New Wave
• Blue Diamond of Honesty
• Bonerdagon necklace
• Boris's Helm (askew)
• Boss Bat britches
• Bowl of Infinite Jelly
• Boxing Day care package
• Brand of Violence
• Brandonian footlocker key
• Brimstone Beret
• Brimstone Bludgeon
• Brimstone Boxers
• Brimstone Bracelet
• Brimstone Brooch
• Brimstone Bunker
• Bugfinder Blade
• Build-a-City Gingerbread kit
• Byte
• CRIMBCO lanyard
• Calzone of Legend
• Cargo Cultist Shorts
• Carol of the Bulls (used)
• Carol of the Hells (used)
• Carol of the Thrills (used)
• Carpathian longsword
• Cat-Herding Prod
• Celsius 233 (singed)
• Chef Boy, R&D's business card
• Cheshire Bitten
• Chester's muscle shirt
• Chester's sunglasses
• Christmas ham
• Cincho de Mayo
• Clan Carnival Game
• Clan Floundry
• Clan hot dog stand
• Clan looking glass
• Clan pool table
• Clan shower
• Clan speakeasy
• Clara's bell
• Cold One
• Cold Stone of Hatred
• Colera Peste Nebbiolo
• Comma Chameleon egg
• Comprehensive Cartographic Compendium (well-read)
• Congressional Medal of Insanity
• Copper Alpha of Sincerity
• Counterclockwise Watch
• Covers-Your-Head
• Covert Ops for Kids
• Covert Ops for Kids (used)
• Crimbo hat
• Crimbo pants
• Crimbo pressie
• Crimbo stocking
• Crimbo sword
• Crimbot schematic: Ribbon Manipulator
• DIY protonic accelerator kit
• Daisy's unclean bloomers
• Dallas Dynasty Falcon Crest shield
• Dark Jill-O-Lantern
• Dark Jill-of-All-Trades
• Daylight Shavings Helmet
• Dear Past Self Package
• Deck of Every Card
• Deep Dish of Legend
• Diamond HP-35 Calculator
• Dinsey's brain
• Dinsey's glove
• Dinsey's oculus
• Dinsey's pants
• Dinsey's pizza cutter
• Dinsey's radar dish
• Discount Telescope Warehouse gift certificate
• Doll Moll violin case
• Dolph Bossin's charity note
• Dragonscale breastplate
• Drapes-You-Regally
• Dreadsylvania Auditor's badge
• Dreadsylvanian clockwork key
• Dreadsylvanian seed pod
• Dreadsylvanian shepherd's pie
• Dreadsylvanian stew
• Drunkula's bell
• Drunkula's cape
• Drunkula's ring of haze
• Drunkula's silky pants
• Drunkula's wineglass
• Duke Vampire's regal cloak
• Dungeon Fist gauntlet
• Easter eggnog
• Easter grasshopper
• Ed the Undying exhibit crate
• Eight Days a Week Pill Keeper
• El Sombrero De Lopez
• El Vibrato restraints
• El Vibrato trapezoid
• Eldritch Intellect: Journey into a Mind of Horror
• Elf Guard safety bear
• Emblem of Ak'gyxoth
• Essence of Annoyance
• Essence of Bear
• Everfull Dart Holster
• Fancy Jeff's fancy pocket square
• FantasyRealm membership packet
• Ferita Del Petto Zinfandel
• First Post shirt - Cir Senam
• First Post shirt package
• Flivver
• Former Sheriff Dan's tin star
• Fourth of May Cosplay Saber
• Frank Gorshin trophy
• Frosty's arm
• Fuzzy Slippers of Hatred
• Galapagosian Cuisses
• Garland of Greatness
• Garter of the Turtle Poacher
• General Assembly Module
• Ginsu™
• Girdle of Hatred
• Glass Balls of the Goblin King
• Glenn's golden dice
• God Lobster Egg
• Goggles of Loathing
• Golden HP-35 Calculator
• Golden Mr. Accessory
• Golden Mr. Eh?
• Goodfella contract
• Gordon Beer's Beer Garden Catalog
• Granny Hackleton's Gatling gun
• Granny Tood's Thanksgarden Catalog
• Gratitude chocolate (octopus-filled)
• Gravyskin Belt of the Sauceblob
• Great Ball of Frozen Fire
• Great S-Cape
• Great Wolf's beastly trousers
• Great Wolf's headband
• Great Wolf's left paw
• Great Wolf's lice
• Great Wolf's right paw
• Great Wolf's rocket launcher
• Greatest American Pants
• Green Clover of Justice
• Gregarious Gregorian Smock
• Grimacite gaiters
• Grimacite galoshes
• Grimacite garter
• Grimacite gasmask
• Grimacite gat
• Grimacite gauntlets
• Grimacite girdle
• Grimacite glaive
• Grimacite go-go boots
• Grimacite goggles
• Grimacite gorget
• Grimacite gown
• Grimacite greaves
• Grimacite guayabera
• Grumpy Bumpkin's Pumpkin Seed Catalog
• Guzzlr cocktail set
• Guzzlr hat
• Guzzlr pants
• Guzzlr shoes
• Guzzlr souvenir stein
• Guzzlr tablet
• Guzzlr tattoo kit
• Guzzlrbuck
• Gygaxian Libram
• HOA citation pad
• HOA regulation book
• HOA zombie eyes
• HP-35 Calculator
• Hanukkimbo dreidl
• Hat O' Nine Tails
• Heimandatz's heart
• Helps-You-Sleep
• Hodgman's disgusting technicolor overcoat
• Hodgman's imaginary hamster
• Hodgman's metal detector
• Hodgman's whackin' stick
• Holiday Hal's Happy-Time Fun Book!
• Holiday Multitasking
• Holiday Multitasking (used)
• Horsery contract
• Hot Socks
• How to Hold a Grudge
• How to Lose Friends and Attract Snakes
• How to Lose Friends and Attract Snakes (used)
• How to Tolerate Jerks
• Hoyle's Guide to Reindeer Games
• Hoyle's Guide to Reindeer Games (used)
• Huggler Radio
• Idol of Ak'gyxoth
• Irish eggnog
• Iron Beta of Industry
• Ish Kabibble
• Island Drinkin', a Tiki Mixology Odyssey
• Item #13
• Iunion Crown
• January's Garbage Tote
• January's Garbage Tote (unopened)
• Jarlsberg's pan
• Jarlsberg's pan (Cosmic portal mode)
• Jarlsberg's vegetable soup
• Jeans of Loathing
• Jekyllin hide belt
• Jeppson's Malort
• Jick's autograph
• Jick-o-User
• Jocko Homo's head
• Jodhpurs of Violence
• June cleaver
• Junior Adventurer's kit
• Junior LAAAAME merit badge
• Jurassic Parka
• KoL Con 12-gauge
• KoL Con 13 snowglobe
• KoL Con 3-D Glasses
• KoL Con 8-Bit power bracelet
• KoL Con Cinco Piñata Bat
• KoL Con IV Pole
• KoL Con Six Pack
• KoL Con X Bingo Card
• KoL Con X Treasure Map
• KoLHS Pep Squad Box
• Kramco Industries packing carton
• Kramco Sausage-o-Matic™
• Krampus Horn
• Kremlin's Greatest Briefcase
• L.I.M.P. Stock Certificate
• LARP carp
• LI-11 Motor Pool voucher
• LIDAR candle
• LOV Emotionizer
• LOV Enamorang
• LT&T telegraph office deed
• La Hebilla del Cinturón de Lopez
• Lavalos's shell
• Law of Averages
• Lead Zeta of Chastity
• Leapin' Trousers
• Lederhosen of the Night
• Left-Hand Man action figure
• Lens of Hatred
• Lens of Violence
• Liam's mail
• Libram of BRICKOs
• Libram of Candy Heart Summoning
• Libram of Divine Favors
• Libram of Love Songs
• Libram of Pulled Taffy
• Libram of Resolutions
• License To Kill
• License to Chill
• Lil' Doctor™ bag
• Living to Drink, Drinking to Live
• Loathing Idol Microphone
• Loathing Idol Microphone (25% charged)
• Loathing Idol Microphone (50% charged)
• Loathing Idol Microphone (75% charged)
• Loathing Legion abacus
• Loathing Legion can opener
• Loathing Legion chainsaw
• Loathing Legion corkscrew
• Loathing Legion defibrillator
• Loathing Legion double prism
• Loathing Legion electric knife
• Loathing Legion flamethrower
• Loathing Legion hammer
• Loathing Legion helicopter
• Loathing Legion jackhammer
• Loathing Legion kitchen sink
• Loathing Legion knife
• Loathing Legion many-purpose hook
• Loathing Legion moondial
• Loathing Legion necktie
• Loathing Legion pizza stone
• Loathing Legion rollerblades
• Loathing Legion tape measure
• Loathing Legion universal screwdriver
• Lucky Lindy
• Lump-Stacking for Beginners
• LyleCo premium magnifying glass
• LyleCo premium monocle
• LyleCo premium pickaxe
• LyleCo premium rope
• MAHI fez
• Mafia bow tie
• Mafia stogie
• Mafia violin case
• Maiali Sifilitici Pinot Noir
• Make-Your-Own-Vampire-Fangs kit
• Manual of Transcendent Olfaction
• Map to Kokomo
• March hat
• Martialest Arts trophy
• Marvelous Unitard
• Master Thief's utility belt
• Mayam Calendar
• Mayam spinach
• Mayflower bouquet
• Mayodiol
• Mayoflex
• Mayonex
• Mayor Ghost's gavel
• Mayor Ghost's khakis
• Mayor Ghost's sash
• Mayor Ghost's scissors
• Mayor Ghost's toupee
• Mayostat
• Mayozapine
• McPhee's Grimoire of Hilarious Object Summoning
• Meatcleaver
• Memories of Beanslinging
• Memories of Cow Punching
• Memories of Snake Oiling
• Mer-kin facecowl
• Mer-kin gladiator mask
• Mer-kin gladiator tailpiece
• Mer-kin waistrope
• Meteoid ice beam
• Mint Salton Pepper's Peppermint Seed Catalog
• Mjolnir Jr.
• Mmm-brr! brand mouthwash
• Mob Penguin protection contract
• Monster Manuel
• Moping Artistic Goth Kid
• Mr. Container
• Mr. Exploiter
• Mr. Screege's spectacles
• Mr. Shirt
• Mt. Noob Pale Ale
• Mu
• Murgatroyd diode
• N. O. Beer
• Neverending Party favor
• Neverending Party invitation envelope
• New-You Club Membership Form
• Newbiesport™ backpack
• Newman's Own Trousers
• Nickel Gamma of Frugality
• Novelty Belt Buckle of Violence
• Official Council Aide Pin
• Official Seal of Dreadsylvania
• Ol' Scratch's infernal pitchfork
• Ol' Scratch's manacles
• Olympic-sized Clan crate
• Oopsie IPA
• Orange Star of Sacrifice
• Order of the Green Thumb Order Form
• Oscus's neverending soda
• Otorian Battle Scar
• Our Daily Candles™ order form
• PARTY HARD T-shirt
• PB&BP
• Pack of Every Card
• Panda outfit
• Pantaloons of Hatred
• Pantsgiving
• Party Planning on a Budget
• Party Tattoo™ gift certificate
• Pecos Dave's sixgun
• Peppermint Pip Packet
• Periodical Paintbrush
• Pete & Jackie's Dragon Tooth Emporium Catalog
• Pete's rich ricotta
• Pete's wiley whey bar
• Petite Paintbrush
• Phonus Balonus
• Pigsticker of Violence
• Pink Heart of Spirit
• PirateRealm membership packet
• PirateRealm party hat
• Pizza of Legend
• Platinum HP-35 Calculator
• Platinum Yendorian Express Card
• Pocket Guide to Mild Evil
• Pocket Guide to Mild Evil (used)
• Pocket Meteor Guide
• Pocket Meteor Guide (well-thumbed)
• Pocket Square of Loathing
• Pokéfam Guide to Capturing All of Them
• Powerful Glove
• Professor of Spelunkology
• Protects-Your-Junk
• Quartet of Flare Masters Jacket
• Quiets-Your-Steps
• ROM of Optimality
• Radio Free Baseball Cap
• Radio Free Foil
• Radio Free Jersey
• Radio Free Pants
• Radio KoL Antenna Ball
• Radio KoL Bottle Opener
• Radio KoL Coffee Mug
• Radio KoL Flashlight
• Radio KoL Keychain
• Radio KoL Maracas
• Rainbow Jello Mould
• Red Balloon of Valor
• Red Roger tattoo kit
• Red Roger's red left foot
• Red Roger's red left hand
• Red Roger's red right foot
• Red Roger's red right hand
• Red Roger's reliquary
• Red Roger's skull
• Rethinking Candy
• Retrospecs
• Rock Garden Guide
• Roman Candelabra
• Royal scepter
• S.I.T. Course Completion Certificate
• Safari Jack's moustache
• Scandalously Skimpy Bikini
• Scepter of Loathing
• School of Hard Knocks Diploma
• Science Notebook
• Scratch 'n' Sniff Sticker Tome
• Scurvy and Sobriety Prevention
• Sealed TakerSpace letter of Marque
• Seasonal Beret
• Secrets of the Master Egg Hunters
• Secrets of the Master Egg Hunters (used)
• Senior LAAAAME merit badge
• Sept-Ember Censer
• Septapus summoning charm
• Seven Loco
• Shrub's Premium Baked Beans
• Silver HP-35 Calculator
• Size XI Wizard's Robe
• Skipper's accordion
• Sloppy Jalopy
• Sneaky Pete's leather jacket
• Sneaky Pete's leather jacket (collar popped)
• Snow Suit
• Sockdollager
• Solstice Shield
• Sombrero De Vida
• SongBoom™ BoomBox
• SongBoom™ BoomBox Box
• Sorcerers of the Shore Grimoire
• Source shades
• Source terminal
• Source terminal CRAM chip
• Source terminal DRAM chip
• Source terminal GRAM chip
• Source terminal PRAM chip
• Source terminal SPAM chip
• Source terminal TRAM chip
• Spacegate Research
• Spacegate access badge
• Spasmi Dolorosi Del Rene Champagne
• Spelunker of Fortune (used)
• SpinMaster™ lathe
• Spirit of Christmas
• Spirit of Easter
• Spirit of St. Patrick's Day
• Spirit of Thanksgiving
• Spirit of Veteran's Day
• Spooky Putty ball
• Spooky Putty leotard
• Spooky Putty mitre
• Spooky Putty monster
• Spooky Putty sheet
• Spooky Putty snake
• Spookyraven signet
• Spring Break Beach tattoo coupon
• Spring Bros. ID badge
• St. Pete's sneaky smoothie
• Staff of Frozen Lard
• Staff of Kitchen Royalty
• Staff of the Deepest Freeze
• Staff of the Peppermint Twist
• Staff of the Roaring Hearth
• Staff of the Scummy Sink
• Staff of the Soupbone
• Star of Bravery
• Stephen's lab coat
• Stick-Knife of Loathing
• Stupid University Diploma
• Superhero Reboots
• Sword of Procedural Generation
• TakerSpace letter of Marque
• Tales of Dread
• Tales of the Word Realms
• Talisman of Baio
• Talisman of Bakula
• Temporal Tempera Tube
• Thanksgiving ration
• The Big Book of Communism (used)
• The Big Book of Every Skill
• The Cocktail Shaker
• The Confiscator's Grimoire
• The Crown of Ed the Undying
• The Eye of the Thing in the Basement
• The Fingernail of the Thing in the Basement
• The Ghoul King's ghoulottes
• The Groose in the Hoose
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 1 (used)
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 2 (used)
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 3 (used)
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 4 (used)
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 5 (used)
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 6 (used)
• The Kloop in the Coop
• The Mariachi's guitar case
• The Nuge's favorite crossbow
• The Sagittarian's leisure pants
• The Smith's Tome
• Thinknerd's Grimoire of Geeky Gifts
• Third Eye
• Thunkula's drinking cap
• Thwaitgold Goliath beetle statuette
• Thwaitgold Illinigina illinoiensis model
• Thwaitgold amoeba statuette
• Thwaitgold ant statuette
• Thwaitgold anti-moth statuette
• Thwaitgold bee statuette
• Thwaitgold bombardier beetle statuette
• Thwaitgold bookworm statuette
• Thwaitgold bug statuette
• Thwaitgold butterfly statuette
• Thwaitgold buzzy beetle statuette
• Thwaitgold caterpillar statuette
• Thwaitgold chigger statuette
• Thwaitgold cockroach statuette
• Thwaitgold dragonfly statuette
• Thwaitgold fairyfly statue
• Thwaitgold fire beetle statuette
• Thwaitgold firefly statuette
• Thwaitgold grasshopper statuette
• Thwaitgold harvestman statuette
• Thwaitgold keyhole spider statuette
• Thwaitgold listening bug statuette
• Thwaitgold maggot statuette
• Thwaitgold masked hunter statuette
• Thwaitgold metabug statuette
• Thwaitgold mosquito statuette
• Thwaitgold mosquito-in-amber statuette
• Thwaitgold moth statuette
• Thwaitgold nit statuette
• Thwaitgold nymph statuette
• Thwaitgold praying mantis statuette
• Thwaitgold protozoa statuette
• Thwaitgold quantum bug statuette
• Thwaitgold scarab beetle statuette
• Thwaitgold scorpion statuette
• Thwaitgold shield bug statuette
• Thwaitgold slug statuette
• Thwaitgold spider statuette
• Thwaitgold splendor beetle statuette
• Thwaitgold stag beetle statuette
• Thwaitgold termite statuette
• Thwaitgold time fly statuette
• Thwaitgold wheel bug statuette
• Thwaitgold wolf spider statuette
• Thwaitgold woollybear statuette
• Time Bandit Badge of Courage
• Time Juice
• Time-Spinner
• Toddler-sized Dragon Costume
• Tome of Clip Art
• Tome of Rad Libs
• Tome of Snowcone Summoning
• Tome of Sugar Shummoning
• Too Cold to Hold: How to Be Cool - A Memoir
• Too Cold to Hold: How to Be Cool - A Memoir (read)
• Toot Oriole care package
• Totally Gay Claymore
• Travoltan trousers
• Treads of Loathing
• Truthsayer
• UV monocular
• Unagnimated Gnome
• Uncle Crimbo's Sack
• Uncle Crimbo's hat
• Unfortunato's foolscap
• Unionize The Elves sign
• Universal Seasoning
• Unkillable Skeleton's restless leg
• Unkillable Skeleton's sawsword
• Unkillable Skeleton's shield
• Unkillable Skeleton's shinguards
• Unkillable Skeleton's skullcap
• Unopened Eight Days a Week Pill Keeper
• Uovo Marcio Shiraz
• Uranium Omega of Temperance
• V for Vivala mask
• Val-U Brand Every Bean Salad
• Velougats™
• Volartta's bellbottoms
• Voluminous Radio Hat
• Voluminous Radio Pants
• Voluminous Radio Sneakers
• Wal-Mart nametag
• Wal-Mart overalls
• Wal-Mart snowglobe
• Warehouse 23 bling
• Witchess Set
• X-32-F snowman crate
• Xi Receiver Unit
• Xlyinia's notebook
• Yellow Moon of Compassion
• Yeti Protest Sign
• Zinc Delta of Tranquility
• Zombo's empty eye
• [glitch season reward name]
• [reuse me]
• a cute angel
• a suspicious address
• abyssal battle plans
• adobe abacus
• adobe abaya
• adobe adze
• adobe arsecover
• adobe ascot
• adobe assortment
• adobe ayam
• adventurer clone egg
• aerated diving helmet
• aerogel accordion
• aerogel akubra
• aerogel anvil
• aerogel apron
• aerogel ascot
• aerogel attache case
• aerosolized aerogel
• airplane charter: Conspiracy Island
• airplane charter: Dinseylandfill
• airplane charter: Spring Break Beach
• airplane charter: That 70s Volcano
• airplane charter: The Glaciest
• airplane tattoo
• alien plant fibers
• alien plant sample
• alien rock sample
• alien toenails
• alien zoological sample
• alpine watercolor set
• anchor bomb
• anger blaster
• annealed drippy orb
• arse-shooting crossbow
• artisanal homebrew gift package
• asteroid belt
• astral badger
• astronaut ice-cream
• august scepter
• avatar of the Unconscious Collective
• aviator goggles
• baby chest mimic
• backup camera
• bacteria bisque
• bad vibroknife
• bagged stuffed "L"
• baked veggie ricotta casserole
• bakelite backpack
• bakelite badge
• bakelite belt
• bakelite bits
• bakelite bowl
• bakelite breeches
• bakelite brooch
• ballast turtle
• balsam barrel
• baneful bandolier
• basking robin
• bat wings
• battoo kit
• beet
• bejazzled eyepatch
• belt of Ogrekind
• best joke ever
• bewitching boots
• big ol' trophy
• bindle of joy
• birthday candle
• bitter bowtie
• black slime glob
• blank note
• blank white card
• bloody kiwitini
• blue glowstick
• blue money bag
• blue ribbon
• blue traffic cone
• bodyguard badge
• bodyslam
• bomb of unknown origin
• book of facts
• book of facts (dog-eared)
• boot plant
• bottle of lovebug pheromones
• bottle-rocket crossbow
• bottled green pixie
• bowl of oriole's nest soup
• box of Gratitude chocolates
• box of bear arms
• boxcar turtle
• boxed Mayam Calendar
• boxed Sept-Ember Censer
• boxed august scepter
• boxed autumn-aton
• boxed bat wings
• brass Dreadsylvanian flask
• brazen bracelet
• briefcase full of sprinkles
• bucket of anniversary lard
• buffalo dime
• bugbear detector
• bugbear-smiting sword
• bulky free-range mushroom
• bundle of firewood
• burnt snowpants
• calm attention-deficit demon
• campfire baked potato
• campfire beans
• campfire coffee
• campfire hot dog
• campfire s'more
• campfire smoke
• campfire stew
• can of Rain-Doh
• candied beef and cabbage
• candy cane sword cane
• candy egg deviler
• candy rations
• canteen of jungle juice
• carbonite visor
• caustic slime nodule
• cement shoes
• ceramic celery grater
• ceramic celsiturometer
• ceramic cenobite's robe
• ceramic centurion shield
• ceramic cerecloth belt
• ceramic cestus
• ceramic scree
• chalk chain
• chalk chalice
• chalk chapeau
• chalk chinos
• chalk chlamys
• chalk choker
• chalk chunks
• cherry bomb
• chiffon carbage
• chiffon chakram
• chiffon chamberpot
• chiffon chapeau
• chiffon chaps
• chiffon chemise
• chiffon chevrons
• chili powder cutlass
• chocolate ostrich egg
• chocolate puppy
• ciliophora chowder
• clan underground fireworks shop
• class five ecto-larva
• closed-circuit pay phone
• closed-circuit phone system
• clovermint
• club sandwich
• coal paperweight
• coffee sprite
• cold medicine cabinet
• combat lover's locket
• comfy blanket
• complex alien plant sample
• complex alien zoological sample
• complicated device
• compounded experience
• coney haunch
• conquistador's breastplate
• consolation ribbon
• container of Spooky Putty
• cool iron breastplate
• cool iron greaves
• cool iron helmet
• cop dollar
• corked genie bottle
• corned-beef Reuben
• cosmic bucket
• cozy bazooka
• cozy scimitar
• crappy Mer-kin mask
• crate of fish meat
• crated wardrobe-o-matic
• crazy bastard sword
• cream of chloroplasts
• crimbo elfling
• crude oil congealer
• crunchy brush
• crushed steamer trunk
• crystal belt buckle
• crystallized pumpkin spice
• cup of "tea"
• cursed Aztec tamale
• cursed magnifying glass
• cursed microwave
• cursed monkey's paw
• cursed pirate cutlass
• cursed pony keg
• cursed ring finger ring
• cursed swash buckle
• cursed tricorn hat
• custom avatar form
• damp old wallet
• dandy lion cub
• dark chocolate egg
• deactivated RoboGoose
• deed to Oliver's Place
• defective Golden Mr. Accessory
• deflated inflatable dodecapede
• deluxe Neverending Party favor
• designer sweatpants
• designer sweatpants (new old stock)
• detective roscoe
• detective school application
• deviled candy egg
• diabolic pizza cube
• diabolical crossbow
• dice belt buckle
• dice ring
• dice sunglasses
• dice-print do-rag
• dice-print pajama pants
• dice-shaped backpack
• dirty bottlecap
• dirty martini
• discarded button
• disconnected intergnat
• dollar sign
• doppelshifter egg
• double-candied yams
• doubt cannon
• dreadful fedora
• dreadful glove
• dreadful sweater
• dreaming Jung man
• drippy diadem
• drippy snail shell
• dropped scrap of paper
• dwarvish war helmet
• dwarvish war kilt
• egg gun
• elbow soup
• eldritch tincture
• eldritch tincture (depleted)
• ember egg
• embering hunk
• emo roe
• empty Rain-Doh can
• enhanced signal receiver
• envelope full of Meat
• etched hourglass
• eternal knot tattoo
• exclusive ultra-rare item
• experimental carbon fiber pasta additive
• exploding cigar
• extra DNA
• extra ooze
• extra special Crimbo stocking
• fairy-worn boots
• familiar scrapbook
• fancy chess set
• fancy party pants
• fascinating alien plant sample
• fascinating alien zoological sample
• fettucini épines Inconnu recipe
• fetus-smashing club
• fiberglass fannypack
• fiberglass fedora
• fiberglass fetish
• fiberglass fibers
• fiberglass fingerguard
• fiberglass foil
• fiberglass frock
• fistful of ashes
• flagellate flagon
• flagellate soup
• flagstone fez
• flagstone flag
• flagstone flagments
• flagstone flail
• flagstone fleece
• flagstone flip-flops
• flagstone fringe
• flaming familiar doppelgänger
• flaming juggler's balls
• flaming leaf crown
• flaming pink shirt
• flashing novelty button
• fleshy lump
• flickering pixel
• floaty stone sphere
• foam commodore's hat
• foam naval trousers
• foreign box
• four-leaf potato sprout
• fragile Christmas ornament
• fragment of Jarlsberg's soul
• frankincenser
• free-range mushroom
• fresh coat of paint
• fried air
• friendly cheez blob
• frigid derringer
• funny paper hat
• fuzzy bracelets
• fuzzy montera
• gabardine gaiters
• gabardine garibaldi
• gabardine garland
• gabardine girdle
• gabardine gloves
• gabardine gunnysack
• gabardine smithereens
• gasmask
• gattoo
• gearbox necklace
• genie bottle
• genie's bracers
• genie's pants
• genie's scimitar
• genie's turbane
• ghost pencil
• ghost shawl
• ginger beer
• gingerbread gavel
• gingerbread moneybag
• gingerbread pistol
• gingerbread tophat
• gingerbread trousers
• gingerbread waistcoat
• glass of "milk"
• glowing frisbee
• goblin bone hilt
• golden monkey statuette
• golden pet rock
• golden sausage
• gory drippy orb
• government requisition form
• government-issued eyeshade
• government-issued necktie
• government-issued slacks
• governor's daughter's lace collar
• governor's daughter's pearl hairpin
• governor's daughter's petticoats
• gravy skin
• gravyskin buckler
• gravyskin hat
• gravyskin pants
• gravyskin skirt
• greedy ghostling
• green slime glob
• green traffic cone
• gregarious ghostling
• grinning ghostling
• grisly shield
• groggles
• grogtini
• grubby wool beerwarmer
• grubby wool gloves
• grubby wool hat
• grubby wool scarf
• grubby wool trousers
• grubby woolball
• guild application
• haiku katana
• half-digested rat
• hamethyst-handled sixgun
• hand of Mr. Cards
• hand turkey outline
• hand-carved bow
• hand-carved staff
• handful of juicy garbage
• handful of split pea soup
• hangman's hood
• hard cocoa
• harpoon
• haunted bindle
• haunted doghouse
• hazardous sauce dosimeter
• head of emberg lettuce
• head-mounted Trainbot
• heart-shaped crate
• hemlock helm
• hemp backpack
• heteroerotic frat-paddle
• hewn moon-rune spoon
• hi-density nylocite leg armor
• hibernating Grimstone Golem
• high-end ginger wine
• hippo tutu
• hobo monkey
• hockey stick of furious angry rage
• holiday smorgasbord
• holiday trip around the world
• homeless hobo spirit
• honey bun of Boris
• hopeful candle
• housekeeping automa-core
• hungover chauvinist pig
• hypnodisk
• ice baby
• ice pick
• ice sickle
• ice skates
• iceberglet
• incredibly dense meat gem
• indie comic hipster glasses
• industrial fire extinguisher
• industrial frosting
• infant sandworm
• inflammable leaf
• interesting clod of dirt
• intergalactic pom poms
• jewel-eyed wizard hat
• jitterbug larva
• jolly roger tattoo kit
• jug of Sneaky Pete's Mojo
• kerosene-soaked skip
• kevlateflocite helmet
• kill screen
• kitten burglar
• labrador cookie
• large stone triangle
• laser cannon
• laser targeting chip
• latte lovers club card
• latte lovers member's mug
• leafy browns
• left-handed melodica
• leg-mounted Trainbots
• leggings of the Spider Queen
• li'l ghost costume
• li'l orphan tot
• liar's pants
• lip soup
• llama lama cria
• locked mumming trunk
• longbox of Batfellow comics
• loofah ladle
• loofah lavalier
• loofah lederhosen
• loofah legwarmers
• loofah lei
• loofah lumberjack's hat
• loofah lumps
• lucky Tam O'Shanter
• lucky Tam O'Shatner
• lucky army helmet
• lucky gold ring
• lucky moai statuette
• lucky napkin
• lump of not really wriggling eldritch matter
• lustrous drippy orb
• luxury fly-tying workbench
• machine elf capsule
• magical sausage
• magical sausage casing
• makeshift castanets
• map to Anemone Mine
• map to Dolph Bossin's hideout
• map to Madness Reef
• map to the Cursed Village
• map to the Dive Bar
• map to the Marinara Trench
• map to the Mystic Wood
• map to the Putrid Swamp
• map to the Skate Park
• map to the Sprawling Cemetery
• map to the Towering Mountains
• marble maebari
• marble magnet
• marble mantle
• marble mariachi hat
• marble medallion
• marble mignonette bowl
• marble molecules
• marinara jug
• meatball machine
• mechanically-mulled cider
• medium stone triangle
• messenger bag RNA
• meteorb
• meteorite earring
• meteorite fragment
• meteorite guard
• meteorite necklace
• meteorite ring
• meteortarboard
• meteorthopedic shoes
• military orb
• mime army challenge coin
• mime army infiltration glove
• mime army insignia (cryonics)
• mime army insignia (espionage)
• mime army insignia (infantry)
• mime army insignia (morale)
• mime army insignia (psychological warfare)
• mime army insignia (pyrotechnics)
• mime army insignia (sanitation)
• mime army shotglass
• mime army wine
• miming boots
• mini kiwi
• mini kiwi aioli
• mini kiwi antimilitaristic hippy petition
• mini kiwi bikini
• mini kiwi digitized cookies
• mini kiwi egg
• mini kiwi icepick
• mini kiwi illicit antibiotic
• mini kiwi intoxicating spirits
• mini kiwi invisible dirigible
• mini kiwi silicon tiepin
• mini kiwi tipi
• mini kiwi whipping stick
• mini kiwi-flavored aspirin-injecting lipstick
• mini kiwitini
• miniature Embering Hulk
• miniature crystal ball
• miniature deck cannon
• miniature gravy-covered maypole
• miniscule temporal rip
• mint condition Lil' Doctor™ bag
• mint-in-box Powerful Glove
• moai toai
• moaiball
• model train set
• monstrous monocle
• moon-amber necklace
• moss mace
• moss mantle
• moss marlinspike
• moss medal
• moss megaphone
• moss mitre
• moss mulch
• moveable feast
• mummified entombed cookbookbat
• mumming trunk
• murderbot memory chip
• muscular soup
• musty moccasins
• mutant arm
• mutant crown
• mutant legs
• myrrh pouch
• mysterious chest
• name change form
• nativity shorts
• naughty fortune teller
• naughty origami kit
• naughty paper shuriken
• navel ring of navel gazing
• neck wreath
• nervous tick egg
• nest egg
• newly-hatched mayonnaise wasp
• nice warm beer
• note from Clancy
• novelty monorail ticket
• nozzle of the Phoenix
• nylon Christmas stockings
• off-hand balloon
• old school Mafia knickerbockers
• old-fashioned Crimbo Pressie
• one million meat pancakes
• optimal spreadsheet
• orange slime glob
• orange traffic cone
• organ grinder
• origami "gentlemen's" magazine
• origami pasties
• origami riding crop
• ornamental sextant
• orphan baby yeti
• over-the-shoulder Folder Holder
• packaged Everfull Dart Holster
• packaged June cleaver
• packaged Pocket Professor
• packaged Roman Candelabra
• packaged familiar scrapbook
• packaged luxury garment
• packaged model train set
• packet of beer seeds
• packet of dragon's teeth
• packet of mayfly bait
• packet of mushroom spores
• packet of orchid seeds
• packet of pumpkin seeds
• packet of rock seeds
• packet of tall grass seeds
• packet of thanksgarden seeds
• packet of winter seeds
• pantogram
• paraffin palazzos
• paraffin pendant
• paraffin pieces
• paraffin pith helmet
• paraffin poncho
• paraffin pseudoaccordion
• paraffin punching bag
• party crasher
• party pup
• party whip
• passed-out psychedelic bear
• pea brittle
• peace shooter
• peace turkey outline
• peasco sour
• peaza
• peppermint pegleg
• perfect Christmas scarf
• perfectly fair coin
• perfectly ordinary frog
• pernicious cudgel
• personal raindrop
• personalized wassail stein
• pet bad vibe
• petrified time
• phase-tuned shield generator belt
• photo booth sized crate
• piece of cake
• pig-iron helm
• pig-iron shinguards
• pile of smoking rags
• pink glowstick
• pirate fork
• pirate hook
• pirate pantaloons
• pirate radio ring
• piratical blunderbuss
• pirrrate's currrse
• pixel rock
• plain calzone
• plexifoam chin strap
• plexiglass pants
• plexiglass pendant
• plexiglass pikestaff
• plexiglass pinky ring
• plexiglass pith helmet
• plexiglass pocketwatch
• plump free-range mushroom
• polyester pad
• polyester panama hat
• polyester parachute
• polyester peeler
• polyester pettipants
• polyester pulsera
• polyesterene powder
• polymorphic fastening apparatus
• porcelain pelerine
• porcelain pepper mill
• porcelain phantom mask
• porcelain plus-fours
• porcelain police baton
• porcelain porkpie
• porcelain powder
• porquoise-handled sixgun
• portable Mayo Clinic
• portable pantogram
• potato jacket
• potted power plant
• potted tea tree
• praying Grim Brother
• pregnant gloomy black mushroom
• present
• pressurized potion of pneumaticity
• primitive alien blowgun
• primitive alien loincloth
• primitive alien necklace
• primitive alien spear
• primitive alien totem
• profane eye patch
• proto-proto-protozoa
• protogenetic chunklet (elbow)
• protogenetic chunklet (flagellum)
• protogenetic chunklet (lips)
• protogenetic chunklet (muscle)
• protogenetic chunklet (synapse)
• protonic accelerator pack
• psychic's amulet
• psychic's circlet
• psychic's crystal ball
• psychic's pslacks
• psychoanalytic jar
• pumpkin spice whorl
• puppet strings
• purpleheart "pants"
• puzzling ribbon
• puzzling trophy
• pygmy bugbear shaman
• quantized familiar
• quantized familiar experience
• quantum disintegrator pistol
• quantum of familiar
• quantum watch
• raffle ticket
• ragged wool yarn
• rainbow pearl
• rainbow pearl earring
• rainbow pearl necklace
• rainbow pearl ring
• ratatouille de Jarlsberg
• real cowboy hat
• really nice lump of coal
• recovered cufflinks
• red money bag
• red plumber's boots
• red traffic cone
• redwood rain stick
• regret hose
• reliable sixgun
• repaid diaper
• replica Ten Dollars
• replica bat-oomerang
• research fragment
• residual chitin paste
• rib of the Bonerdagon
• ring
• ring of the Skeleton Lord
• roasted vegetable focaccia
• roasted vegetable of Jarlsberg
• room scale green bean casserole
• rose-colored glasses
• rubber WWBBDD? bracelet
• rum ball
• rune-strewn spoon cocoon
• rusty chain necklace
• saffron antaravasaka
• saffron uttarasanga
• salmagumdi
• sane hatrack
• sangria del diablo
• sausage golem
• sawblade shield
• scepter of the Skeleton Lord
• seal medal
• sealskin drum
• second-hand knockoff engagement ring
• secret from the future
• set of Unobtainium straps
• sewing kit
• shadow candle
• shadow chef's hat
• shadow hammer
• shadow hot dog
• shadow martini
• shadow monocle
• shadow needle
• shadow pill
• shadow trousers
• shield of the Skeleton Lord
• shooting morning star
• shoulder-mounted Trainbot
• shrine to the Barrel god
• shrink-wrapped 2002 Mr. Store Catalog
• shrink-wrapped Cincho de Mayo
• siesta-ing Casagnova gnome
• signal receiver
• silent nightlight
• silicon-infused gluteal shield
• silk garter snake
• silky pirate drawers
• silver Dreadsylvanian flask
• silver cow creamer
• silver sausage
• sinister demon mask
• skewered cherry
• skewered jumbo olive
• skewered lime
• skull capacitor
• sleeping patriotic eagle
• sleeping profane parrot
• slime fedora
• slime knuckles
• slime waders
• slime-covered club
• slime-covered compass
• slime-covered greaves
• slime-covered helmet
• slime-covered necklace
• slime-covered shovel
• slime-covered staff
• small Crimbo Pressie
• small stone triangle
• smoldering bagel punch
• smoldering box
• snake skin
• snakeskin cowboy hat
• snakeskin jacket
• snakeskin thighboots
• snowman-enchanting tophat
• sober pill
• soft cap of diminishing returns
• space planula
• space trooper helmet
• spaghetti breakfast
• spant backplate
• spant egg casing
• spant shield
• spant shoulderpads
• spant spear
• spants
• spare chocolate parts
• spark plug earring
• sparkly engagement ring
• special edition Batfellow comic
• spinal-fluid-covered emotion chip
• spirit bell
• spooky rattling cigar box
• spring shoes
• squamous polyp
• stained glass serape
• stained glass shards
• stained glass shield
• stained glass shiv
• stained glass spectacles
• stained glass stetson
• stained glass suspenders
• stainless steel scarf
• stainless steel shillelagh
• stainless steel skullcap
• stainless steel slacks
• stainless steel solitaire
• stainless steel suspenders
• standards and practices guide
• steaming evil
• steel knuckles
• sticky sword blade
• stinky cheese ball
• strange stone pyramid
• stray chihuahua
• structural ember
• stuffed "L"
• stuffed club
• stuffed dinosaur
• stuffed kraken
• styrofoam peanuts
• subscription cocoa dispenser
• sugar raygun
• superhero mask
• suspicious package
• suspicious stocking
• suspicious-looking fedora
• sweet nutcracker
• sweet potato o' mine
• sweet potato punch
• synaptic soup
• tabletop candy dispenser
• talkative skull
• talking spade
• tankard of spiced Goldschlepper
• tankard of spiced rum
• tattoo gun
• tattoo of two turkeys
• tearaway pants
• terra cotta tambourine
• terra cotta tidbits
• terra cotta tie tack
• terra cotta tongs
• terra cotta train
• terra cotta trousers
• terra cotta truss
• testy toolbox
• thanksgiving bomb
• the Archwizard's briefs
• the Ley Incursion's waist
• thermos of "whiskey"
• throwin' ember
• tie-dye headband
• tie-dyed fannypack
• time helmet
• time sword
• time trousers
• tiny Tina gun
• tiny ember
• tiny plastic "Santa Claus"
• tiny plastic Colonel Brando
• tiny plastic Easter Island Bunny
• tiny plastic Jedediah and Boiling Cloud
• tiny plastic Naughty Sorceress
• tiny plastic St. Patrick
• tiny plastic spoiler
• tiny plastic sword
• tiny stillsuit
• toy sixgun
• traumatic holiday memory
• tropical Crimbo pressie
• turchucken
• twice-haunted screwdriver
• ultimate wad
• ultra-soft ferns
• unbreakable umbrella
• unearthed volcanic meteoroid
• unemployed hunchbacked minion
• unevolved organism
• unfinished ice sculpture
• uniclops egg
• unopened Bird-a-Day calendar
• unopened diabolic pizza cube box
• unpowered Robortender
• untamable turtle
• untorn tearaway pants package
• unusual disco ball
• unwound cymbal-playing monkey
• unwrapped knock-off retro superhero cape
• vampyric cloake
• vampyric cloake pattern
• velour valise
• velour vambraces
• velour vaqueros
• velour veil
• velour veneer
• velour viscometer
• velour voulge
• vesper
• void burger
• void lager
• void stone
• voodoo doll
• voter registration form
• wad of Crovacite
• warbear black box
• wardrobe-o-matic
• washboard shield
• wax face
• wax hand
• wax lips
• webbed comic mask
• weedy skirt
• western-style skinning knife
• wheel of camembert
• whirled peas
• white Dreadsylvanian
• white money bag
• wicker clicker
• wicker kickers
• wicker knickers
• wicker slicker
• wicker sticker
• wicker ticker
• wickerbits
• wolf whistle
• wormwood wedding ring
• woven baling wire bracelets
• wrapped candy cane sword cane
• wrapping paper
• wriggling worm
• wrought-iron flakes
• wrought-iron waders
• wrought-iron walker
• wrought-iron whisk
• wrought-iron widget
• wrought-iron wig
• wrought-iron winch crank
• wumpus-hair sweater
• xo-skeleton-in-a-box
• yam and swiss
• yam battery
• yam martini
• yellow puck
• yellow puck with a bow on it
• yellow traffic cone
• yuletide troll chrysalis
• zombie accordion
• zombie mariachi hat
• zombie mariachi pants
• zombie monkey necklace