In their foolhardy quest to collect every item, this player comes 3,171 short.
- Franken Stein
- "DEBBIE" tattoo kit
- "Humorous" T-shirt
- "I survived Y2K" T-Shirt
- "Remember the Trees" Shirt
- "caramel" orange
- 'Villa' document
- 1 Meat
- 1,970 carat gold
- 11-leaf clover
- 17-ball
- 18-picohertz resonator crystal
- 20-lb can of rice and beans
- 2002 Mr. Store Catalog
- A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 1 (used)
- A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 2
- A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 3 (used)
- A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 4 (used)
- A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 5 (used)
- A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 6 (used)
- A Guide to Burning Leaves
- A Guide to Safari
- Abuela Crimbo's special magnet
- Acqua Del Piatto Merlot
- Acque Luride Grezze Cabernet
- Admiral's hat
- Adventurer's Kit
- Aerheads
- Agent Mauve
- Aiolion
- Alice's Army Foil Dervish
- Alice's Army Foil Hammerman
- Alice's Army Foil Sniper
- Alice's Army Foil tattoo
- Amanitee
- Amoon-Ra Cowtep's nemes
- Amulet of Perpetual Darkness
- Annual Ascot
- Antagonistic Snowman Kit
- Apathargic Bandersnatch
- Apriling band helmet
- Arr, M80
- Arrow (+1)
- Ascension Souvenir T-Shirt
- Asdon Martin keyfob (on ring)
- AutumnFest ale
- Azurite
- BOOtonniere
- Bag o' Tricks
- Baja sopapilla
- Bal-musette accordion
- Banfoy's Boutique Order Form
- Barney's rake
- Bastille Battalion Fondue Trophy
- Bastille Battalion cheese wheel
- Bastille Battalion control rig
- Bastille Battalion control rig crate
- Bastille Battalion control rig loaner voucher
- Bastille Battalion tattoo kit
- Batfellow comic
- Beach Buck
- Beach Comb
- Beach Comb Box
- Bee's Knees
- Belt of Howling Anger
- Belt of Loathing
- Better Shrooms and Gardens catalog
- Bettie page
- Bicycle
- Bigger Bugfinder Blade
- Bird-a-Day calendar
- Black Bart's Booty
- Black and White Apron Enrollment Form
- Black and White Apron Meal Kit
- Bloodbath
- Bloody Nora
- Bluzzard
- Boltsmann ID badge
- Book of Old-Timey Carols
- Booke of Vampyric Knowledge
- Boosty Juice
- Boots of Twilight Whispers
- Boris's Helm
- Boris's beer
- Boris's bread
- Boulevardier cocktail
- Bowlet
- Boxing Day Pass
- Boxing Day care package
- Bram's choker
- Breathitin™
- Brimstone Beret
- Brimstone Bludgeon
- Brimstone Bracelet
- Brimstone Brooch
- Brimstone Bunker
- Brogre brolo shirt
- Brogre brorts
- Brogre bucket hat
- Buddy Bjorn
- Bugfinder Blade
- Build-a-City Gingerbread kit
- Bustle Hustler
- Buttery Boy
- Byte
- C.B.F.G.
- Cajun accordion
- Calzone of Legend
- Cantelope
- Caramel
- Cargo Cultist Shorts
- Carol of the Bulls
- Carol of the Bulls (used)
- Carol of the Hells
- Carol of the Hells (used)
- Carol of the Thrills
- Carol of the Thrills (used)
- Carpricorn
- Cat-Herding Prod
- Caveman Dan's favorite rock
- Celsius 233
- Champagne Shimmy
- Charleston Choo-Choo
- Charleston shoes
- Charter: Nellyville
- Chateau Mantegna room key
- Ched
- Cheer-Up soda
- Chef Boy, R&D's business card
- Cheshire Bitten
- Chester's bag of candy
- Chester's moustache
- Chester's muscle shirt
- ChibiBuddy™ (off)
- Children's Meal of the Damned
- Chroner cross
- Chubby and Plump bar
- Churchill
- Cincho de Mayo
- Clan Carnival Game
- Clan Floundry
- Clan VIP Lounge invitation
- Clan VIP Lounge key
- Clan hot dog stand
- Clan looking glass
- Clan pool table
- Clan shower
- Clan speakeasy
- Clara's bell
- Cloak of Dire Shadows
- Cobra Bowl
- Cocktails of the Age of Sail
- Cocktails of the Age of Sail (used)
- Coinspiracy
- Cold Fang
- Cold One
- Comma Chameleon egg
- Comprehensive Cartographic Compendium
- Comprehensive Cartographic Compendium (well-read)
- Conspiracy™ mascara
- Convincing People You Can See The Future
- Cornbeefadon
- Cosmic Calorie
- Counterclockwise Watch
- Covers-Your-Head
- Crimbeau de toilette
- Crimbo Carol tattoo kit
- Crimbo Cheer tattoo kit
- Crimbo Commerce tattoo kit
- Crimbo Credit
- Crimbo Elf creepy bobble-head
- Crimbo Factory surprise box
- Crimbo P. R. E. S. S. I. E.
- Crimbo bottomless hot cocoa mug
- Crimbo candle
- Crimbo cookie sheet
- Crimbo crystal shards
- Crimbo dinner
- Crimbo dog sweater
- Crimbo food scraps
- Crimbo hat
- Crimbo light-up Rudolph doll
- Crimbo pants
- Crimbo pressie
- Crimbo sapling
- Crimbo smile
- Crimbo stocking
- Crimbo stockings
- Crimbo stogie-scented room odorizer
- Crimbo sword
- Crimbo tattoo kit
- Crimbo train emergency brake
- Crimbo training manual
- Crimbo tree flocker
- Crimbolex watch
- Crimbomega drive chain
- Crimbosmopolitan
- Crimbot ROM: Mathematical Precision
- Crimbot ROM: Mathematical Precision (dirty)
- Crimbot ROM: Rapid Prototyping
- Crimbot ROM: Ruthless Efficiency
- Crimbot ROM: Ruthless Efficiency (dirty)
- Crimbot schematic: Bug Zapper
- Crimbot schematic: Camera Claw
- Crimbot schematic: Data Analyzer
- Crimbot schematic: Gun Face
- Crimbot schematic: Hoverjack
- Crimbot schematic: Lamp Filler
- Crimbot schematic: Refrigerator Chassis
- Crimbot schematic: Ribbon Manipulator
- Crimbot schematic: Rocket Skirt
- Crimbot schematic: Snow Blower
- Crimbot schematic: Swiss Arm
- Crimbot schematic: Tripod Legs
- Crimbot schematic: Wrecking Ball
- Crimbough
- Crimbow Rainbo
- Crimboysters Rockefeller
- Crimbuccaneer bombjacket
- Crimbuccaneer breeches
- Crimbuccaneer captain's purse
- Crimbuccaneer fledges (disintegrating)
- Crimbuccaneer fledges (mint)
- Crimbuccaneer flotsam
- Crimbuccaneer invasion map
- Crimbuccaneer lantern
- Crimbuccaneer mologrog cocktail
- Crimbuccaneer nose ring
- Crimbuccaneer piece of 12
- Crimbuccaneer premium booty sack
- Crimbuccaneer rigging lasso
- Crimbuccaneer runebone
- Crimbuccaneer shirt
- Crimbuccaneer squirtblunderbuss
- Crimbuccaneer tattoo gift certificate
- Crimbuccaneer tavern swab
- Crimbuccaneer tricorn
- Crimbuccaneer war standard
- Crimbuccaneer whale oil
- Crimbylow-rise jeans
- Cycloney
- DIY protonic accelerator kit
- DUFRESNE Suds
- Dad's brandy
- Daisy's unclean bloomers
- Dallas Dynasty Falcon Crest shield
- Dark Jill-O-Lantern
- Dark Jill-of-All-Trades
- Daylight Shavings Helmet
- Dear Past Self Package
- Deck of Every Card
- Deep Dish of Legend
- Diamond HP-35 Calculator
- Dinsey Maintenance Manual
- Dinsey Whinskey
- Dinsey face paint
- Dinsey food-cone
- Dinsey tattoo kit
- Dinsey's brain
- Dinsey's glove
- Dinsey's oculus
- Dinsey's pants
- Dinsey's pizza cutter
- Dinsey's radar dish
- Discontent™ Winter Garden Catalog
- Disgeist
- Dish of Clarified Butter
- Distant Woods Getaway Brochure
- Doc Clock's thyme cocktail
- Doc's Fortifying Wine
- Doc's Limbering Wine
- Doc's Medical-Grade Wine
- Doc's Smartifying Wine
- Doc's Special Reserve Wine
- Dolph Bossin's Crimbo hat
- Dolph Bossin's charity note
- Dragonscale breastplate
- Drapes-You-Regally
- Dreadsylvania Auditor's badge
- Dreadsylvanian clockwork key
- Dreadsylvanian cold pocket
- Dreadsylvanian cold-fashioned
- Dreadsylvanian dank and stormy
- Dreadsylvanian grimlet
- Dreadsylvanian hemlock
- Dreadsylvanian hot pocket
- Dreadsylvanian hot toddy
- Dreadsylvanian shepherd's pie
- Dreadsylvanian sleaze pocket
- Dreadsylvanian slithery nipple
- Dreadsylvanian spooky pocket
- Dreadsylvanian stew
- Dreadsylvanian stink pocket
- Dressage
- Drip Institute petri dish
- Drip harness
- Driplet
- Dripwood slab
- Drunkula's bell
- Drunkula's cape
- Drunkula's ring of haze
- Drunkula's silky pants
- Drunkula's wineglass
- Duke Vampire's regal cloak
- Dust bunny
- Ed the Undying exhibit crate
- Egnaro berry
- Eight Days a Week Pill Keeper
- El Vibrato restraints
- El Vibrato trapezoid
- Electric Punch
- Elf Army machine parts
- Elf Guard Field Manual: Culinary Arts
- Elf Guard Field Manual: Culinary Arts (used)
- Elf Guard Field Manual: Extortion
- Elf Guard Field Manual: Extortion (used)
- Elf Guard Field Manual: Wilderness Sleeping
- Elf Guard Field Manual: Wilderness Sleeping (used)
- Elf Guard MPC
- Elf Guard SCUBA tank
- Elf Guard broom
- Elf Guard clipboard
- Elf Guard commandeering gloves
- Elf Guard eyedrops
- Elf Guard fuel tank
- Elf Guard hangover cure
- Elf Guard honor present
- Elf Guard hotpants
- Elf Guard insignia (general)
- Elf Guard insignia (private)
- Elf Guard mouthknife
- Elf Guard officer's sidearm
- Elf Guard patrol cap
- Elf Guard payroll bag
- Elf Guard red and white beret
- Elf Guard safety bear
- Elf Guard squirtgun
- Elf Guard strategic map
- Elf Guard temporary (permanent) tattoo
- Elf Guard tinsel grenade
- Elf Guard war standard
- Elizabeth's Dollie
- Elvish sunglasses
- Elvish underarmor
- Emblem of Ak'gyxoth
- En Una Fila Tequila
- Engorged Sausages and You
- Essence of Annoyance
- Essence of Bear
- Everfull Dart Holster
- Extrovermectin™
- Eye Agate
- Eye and a Twist
- Fabiotion
- Fancy Jeff's fancy pocket square
- FantasyRealm Mage's Hat
- FantasyRealm Rogue's Mask
- FantasyRealm Warrior's Helm
- FantasyRealm guest pass
- FantasyRealm key
- FantasyRealm mead
- FantasyRealm membership packet
- FantasyRealm tattoo kit
- FantasyRealm turkey leg
- Faux
- Feliz Navidad
- Ferita Del Petto Zinfandel
- Finnish Fish
- First Post shirt - Cir Senam
- First Post shirt package
- Flag by the Foot™
- Flan
- Flash Liquidizer Ultra Dousing Accessory
- Fleshazole™
- Flivver
- Fly-By-Knight Heraldry form
- Folder Holder
- Former Sheriff Dan's tin star
- Fourth of May Cosplay Saber
- Fourth of May Cosplay Saber kit
- Frank Gorshin trophy
- French-Transylvanian Dictionary
- Frosty's arm
- Frosty's snowball sack
- FunFunds™
- Gabarbar
- GameInformPowerDailyPro subscription card
- Garland of Greatness
- Gathered Meat-Clip
- Gauntlets of the Blood Moon
- Gazelleton
- General Assembly Module
- Ghiaccio Colada
- Ghosprey
- Giant black monolith
- Ginsu™
- Glamare
- Glenn's golden dice
- Globmule
- Glum berry
- Gnollish sangria
- Gnomish sagngria
- God Lobster Egg
- Goggles of Loathing
- Golden HP-35 Calculator
- Golden Kokomo Resort Chip
- Golden Mr. Accessory
- Golden Mr. Eh?
- Good 'n' Quiet
- Goodfella contract
- Gordon Beer's Beer Garden Catalog
- Gorillape
- Granny Hackleton's Gatling gun
- Granny Tood's Thanksgarden Catalog
- Gratitude chocolate (Meat-filled)
- Gratitude chocolate (bourbon-filled)
- Gratitude chocolate (octopus-filled)
- Gratitude chocolate (thyme-filled)
- Great Ball of Frozen Fire
- Great S-Cape
- Great Wolf's beastly trousers
- Great Wolf's left paw
- Great Wolf's lice
- Great Wolf's right paw
- Great Wolf's rocket launcher
- Greaves of the Murk Lord
- Gregarious Gregorian Smock
- Grim Brothers' story book
- Grimacite Bock
- Grimacite gaiters
- Grimacite galoshes
- Grimacite garter
- Grimacite gasmask
- Grimacite gat
- Grimacite gauntlets
- Grimacite girdle
- Grimacite glaive
- Grimacite go-go boots
- Grimacite goggles
- Grimacite gorget
- Grimacite gown
- Grimacite greaves
- Grimacite guayabera
- Gummi-Memory
- Guzzlr application
- Guzzlr cocktail set
- Guzzlr hat
- Guzzlr pants
- Guzzlr shoes
- Guzzlr souvenir stein
- Guzzlr tablet
- Guzzlr tattoo kit
- Guzzlrbuck
- Gygaxian Libram
- HOA citation pad
- HOA regulation book
- HP-35 Calculator
- Hanukkimbo dreidl
- Hat O' Nine Tails
- Hell and How I Bent It
- Helm of the Scream Emperor
- Helps-You-Sleep
- Hide-rox™ cookie
- History's Most Offensive Jokes, Vol. IX
- Hodgman's almanac
- Hodgman's bow tie
- Hodgman's cane
- Hodgman's disgusting technicolor overcoat
- Hodgman's imaginary hamster
- Hodgman's lucky sock
- Hodgman's metal detector
- Hodgman's varcolac paw
- Hodgman's whackin' stick
- Holiday Hal's Happy-Time Fun Book!
- Homebodyl™
- Horsery contract
- Hot Socks
- Hotwire™ brand candy rope
- How To Get Bigger Without Really Trying
- How to Hold a Grudge
- How to Tolerate Jerks
- Huggler Radio
- Idol of Ak'gyxoth
- Illustrated Mating Rituals of the Gallapagos
- Ish Kabibble
- Island Drinkin', a Tiki Mixology Odyssey
- Island Hurricane
- Island Landslide
- Island Thunderstorm
- Item #13
- Iunion Crown
- Jamaican coffee
- Jamocha berry
- January's Garbage Tote
- January's Garbage Tote (unopened)
- Jarlsberg's pan
- Jarlsberg's pan (Cosmic portal mode)
- Jarlsberg's vegetable soup
- Jeans of Loathing
- Jekyllin hide belt
- Jeppson's Malort
- Jick's autograph
- Jick-o-User
- June cleaver
- Junior Adventurer's kit
- Junior Adventurer's merit badge
- Junior LAAAAME merit badge
- Jurassic Parka
- Keese berry
- Kelflar vest
- KoL Con 12-gauge
- KoL Con 13 snowglobe
- KoL Con 3-D Glasses
- KoL Con 8-Bit power bracelet
- KoL Con Cinco Piñata Bat
- KoL Con IV Pole
- KoL Con Six Pack
- KoL Con X Bingo Card
- KoL Con X Treasure Map
- KoLHS Pep Squad Box
- Kramco Industries packing carton
- Kramco Sausage-o-Matic™
- Kremlin's Greatest Briefcase
- Kudzu salad
- LARP carp
- LED candle
- LI-11 Motor Pool voucher
- LOLmec statuette
- LT&T tattoo kit
- LT&T telegraph office deed
- Lapis Lazuli
- Lava Miner's Daughter
- LavaCo™ Lamp housing
- Lavalos's shell
- Law of Averages
- Lazenby's Life Lesson
- Leapin' Trousers
- Left-Hand Man action figure
- Lemonade-235
- Lepardner
- Letter from Carrie Bradshaw
- Libram of Candy Heart Summoning
- Libram of Divine Favors
- Libram of Love Songs
- Libram of Pulled Taffy
- Libram of Resolutions
- License to Chill
- Lil' Doctor ™ bag
- Lil' Snowball Factory
- Little Geneticist DNA-Splicing Lab
- Living to Drink, Drinking to Live
- Loathing Idol Microphone
- Loathing Idol Microphone (25% charged)
- Loathing Idol Microphone (50% charged)
- Loathing Idol Microphone (75% charged)
- Loathing Legion abacus
- Loathing Legion can opener
- Loathing Legion chainsaw
- Loathing Legion corkscrew
- Loathing Legion defibrillator
- Loathing Legion double prism
- Loathing Legion electric knife
- Loathing Legion flamethrower
- Loathing Legion hammer
- Loathing Legion helicopter
- Loathing Legion jackhammer
- Loathing Legion kitchen sink
- Loathing Legion many-purpose hook
- Loathing Legion moondial
- Loathing Legion necktie
- Loathing Legion pizza stone
- Loathing Legion rollerblades
- Loathing Legion tape measure
- Loathing Legion tattoo needle
- Loathing Legion universal screwdriver
- Lolsipop
- London frog
- Love Potions and the Wizards who Mix Them
- Lucky Lindy
- LyleCo Contractor's Manual
- LyleCo premium magnifying glass
- LyleCo premium monocle
- LyleCo premium pickaxe
- LyleCo premium rope
- MAHI fez
- Mafia bow tie
- Mafia stogie
- Mafia violin case
- MagiMechTech NanoMechaMech
- Maiali Sifilitici Pinot Noir
- Mallomarbles
- Mansquito Serum
- Manual of Lock Picking
- Manual of Numberology
- Manual of Secret Door Detection
- Map to Kokomo
- March hat
- Marltini
- Martialest Arts trophy
- Marvelous Unitard
- Master Thief's utility belt
- MayDay™ contract
- Mayam Calendar
- Mayam spinach
- Mayflower bouquet
- Mayo de Mayo™ mayo
- Mayodiol
- Mayoflex
- Mayonex
- Mayor Ghost's cloak
- Mayor Ghost's gavel
- Mayor Ghost's khakis
- Mayor Ghost's sash
- Mayor Ghost's scissors
- Mayor Ghost's toupee
- Mayostat
- Mayozapine
- McPhee's Grimoire of Hilarious Object Summoning
- Meat Butler
- Meatcleaver
- Mechamelion
- Memories of Beanslinging
- Memories of Cow Punching
- Memories of Snake Oiling
- Mer-kin cookiestove
- Mer-kin dodgeball
- Mer-kin dragnet
- Mer-kin eyedrops
- Mer-kin facecowl
- Mer-kin gladiator mask
- Mer-kin gladiator tailpiece
- Mer-kin rollpin
- Mer-kin scholar mask
- Mer-kin scholar tailpiece
- Mer-kin switchblade
- Mer-kin waistrope
- Merc Core Field Manual: Intimidation Techniques
- Merc Core Field Manual: Sanity Maintenance
- Merc Core challenge coin
- Merc Core deployment orders
- Meteoid ice beam
- Meteorite-Ade
- Middle of the Road™ brand whiskey
- Mini-Crimbot crate
- Mint Salton Pepper's Peppermint Seed Catalog
- Miss Graves' vermouth
- Mjolnir Jr.
- Mob Penguin protection contract
- Monster Manuel
- Morphan
- Mr. Accessaturday
- Mr. Accessory Jr.
- Mr. Big's Wallet
- Mr. Burnsger
- Mr. Cheeng's spectacles
- Mr. Container
- Mr. Eh?
- Mr. Exploiter
- Mr. Shirt
- Mrs. Rush
- Ms. Accessory
- Mt. Noob Pale Ale
- Mu
- Murgatroyd diode
- Mustardigrade
- My First Art of War
- My First Paycheck envelope
- My Life of Crime, a Memoir
- My Own Pen Pal kit
- Mysterious Black Box
- Mysterious Blue Box
- Mysterious Green Box
- Mysterious Red Box
- Mysterious Stranger
- N. O. Beer
- Nadsat berry
- Napalm In The Morning™ candle
- Never Don't Stop Not Striving
- Neverending Party favor
- Neverending Party guest pass
- Neverending Party invitation envelope
- New-You Club Membership Form
- Newbiesport™ backpack
- Nightmare Fuel
- Nog-on-the-Cob
- Non-Euclidean Finance
- Now You're Cooking With Grease
- Nursine
- O
- Official Seal of Dreadsylvania
- Olympic-sized Clan crate
- Oopsie IPA
- Oppossum
- Order of the Green Thumb Order Form
- Oscus's flypaper pants
- Oscus's pelt
- Otorian Battle Scar
- Our Daily Candles™ order form
- PARTY HARD T-shirt
- PB&J with the crusts cut off
- Pack of Every Card
- Panda outfit
- Pantsgiving
- Para-Pop
- Party Planning on a Budget
- Party Tattoo™ gift certificate
- Party-in-a-Can™
- Peaclock
- Pecos Dave's sixgun
- Peek-a-Boo!
- Pener's drumstick
- Periodical Paintbrush
- Pete's rich ricotta
- Pete's wiley whey bar
- Petite Paintbrush
- Phil Collins
- Phlegethon
- Phonus Balonus
- Pillowbug
- Pimpsqueak
- PirateRealm guest pass
- PirateRealm membership packet
- PirateRealm party hat
- Pizza of Legend
- Platinum HP-35 Calculator
- Platinum Yendorian Express Card
- Pneumo bar
- Pocket Guide to Mild Evil
- Pocket Guide to Mild Evil (used)
- Pocket Meteor Guide
- Pocket Meteor Guide (well-thumbed)
- Pocket Professor memory chip
- Pocket Square of Loathing
- Poké-Gro fertilizer
- Pokéfam Guide to Capturing All of Them
- Potion of Heroism
- Powerful Glove
- Professor of Spelunkology
- Protects-Your-Junk
- Psycho From The Heat
- Puffstone cigar
- Punching Potion
- Purple Beast energy drink
- Quartet of Flare Masters Jacket
- Rümpelstiltz
- R'lyeh
- ROM of Optimality
- Racisto Ruidoso
- Radio Free Baseball Cap
- Radio Free Foil
- Radio Free Jersey
- Radio Free Pants
- Radio KoL Antenna Ball
- Radio KoL Bottle Opener
- Radio KoL Coffee Mug
- Radio KoL Flashlight
- Radio KoL Keychain
- Radio KoL Maracas
- Radio KoL Patch
- Rainbow Jello Mould
- Rainbow's Gravity
- Recipe of Before Yore: Boris's beer
- Recipe of Before Yore: Boris's bread
- Recipe of Before Yore: Calzone of Legend
- Recipe of Before Yore: Deep Dish of Legend
- Recipe of Before Yore: Jarlsberg's vegetable soup
- Recipe of Before Yore: Pete's rich ricotta
- Recipe of Before Yore: Pete's wily whey bar
- Recipe of Before Yore: Pizza of Legend
- Recipe of Before Yore: St. Pete's sneaky smoothie
- Recipe of Before Yore: baked veggie ricotta
- Recipe of Before Yore: honey bun of Boris
- Recipe of Before Yore: plain calzone
- Recipe of Before Yore: ratatouille de Jarlsberg
- Recipe of Before Yore: roasted vegetable focaccia
- Recipe of Before Yore: roasted vegetable of J.
- Red Fox glove
- Red Roger tattoo kit
- Red Roger's red left foot
- Red Roger's red left hand
- Red Roger's red right foot
- Red Roger's red right hand
- Red Roger's reliquary
- Red Roger's skull
- Red Russian
- Retrospecs
- Retrospecs try-at-home kit
- Rock Garden Guide
- Royal scepter
- Rubee™
- Ruffalo
- S.I.T. Course Completion Certificate
- S.I.T. Course Voucher
- SMOOCH bracers
- SMOOCH breastplate
- SMOOCH codpiece
- SMOOCH coffee cup
- SMOOCH kneepads
- SMOOCH spaulders
- STYX deodorant body spray
- SalesCo sample kit
- Salsa Caliente™ candle
- Sasq™ watch
- Satan hat
- Scandalously Skimpy Bikini
- Scent of a Human™ candle
- Scepter of Loathing
- School of Hard Knocks Diploma
- Scorpion Bowl
- Scratch 'n' Sniff Sticker Tome
- Scratch-and-Sniff Guide to Dinseylandfill
- Scurvy and Sobriety Prevention
- Seasonal Beret
- Senior LAAAAME merit badge
- Sequestrian
- Seven Loco
- Sexy Cosmo
- Shantix™
- Shield of Icy Fate
- Shielding Potion
- Shrub's Premium Baked Beans
- Shudder
- Siberian sunrise
- Silly Little Love Song
- Silver HP-35 Calculator
- Simepore slime
- Sister Accessory
- Site Alpha ID badge
- Sitrep berry
- Size XI Wizard's Robe
- Skipper's accordion
- Skull Punch
- Skully's hot chocolate
- Sledgehamster
- Sloppy Jalopy
- Sloppy Seconds Diner Employee Handbook
- Slotter
- Smashmoth
- Smoldering Clover™ candle
- Smuggler's Punch
- Snarf berry
- Sneaky Pete's leather jacket
- Sneaky Pete's leather jacket (collar popped)
- Snoutlet
- Sockdollager
- Solstice Shield
- Sombrero De Vida
- SongBoom™ BoomBox
- SongBoom™ BoomBox Box
- Source terminal
- Sourfinger
- Southern yam
- Souvenir Chopsticks
- Sp'n-Zor's Grimoire of "Tasteful" Gifts
- Space Baby bawbaw
- Space Pirate Astrogation Handbook
- Space Trip safety headphones
- Spacegate Initiative tattoo unit
- Spacegate access badge
- Spacegate diplomat's insignia
- Spacegate emergency disintegrator
- Spacegate military insignia
- Spacegate scientist's insignia
- Spant eggs
- Spasmi Dolorosi Del Rene Champagne
- Special Seasoning
- Spelunker of Fortune
- Spelunker's Guild prize sack
- Spelunker's fedora
- Spelunker's khakis
- Spelunker's whip
- SpinMaster™ lathe
- Spooky Putty ball
- Spooky Putty leotard
- Spooky Putty mitre
- Spooky Putty monster
- Spooky Putty snake
- Spooky VHS Tape
- Spring Break Beach "swimsuit"
- Spring Break Beach tattoo coupon
- Spring Bros. ID badge
- Spring Bros. solenoid
- Squib
- St. Pete's sneaky smoothie
- St. Sneaky Pete's Whey
- Staff of Frozen Lard
- Staff of Kitchen Royalty
- Staff of Queso Escusado
- Staff of the Deepest Freeze
- Staff of the Peppermint Twist
- Staff of the Roaring Hearth
- Staff of the Scummy Sink
- Staff of the Woodfire
- Star of Bravery
- Steamboat
- Stephen's lab coat
- Stick-Knife of Loathing
- Stooper
- Straypler
- Strong, Silent Type
- Stupid University Diploma
- Superhero Reboots
- Swedish coffee
- Swedish massage fish
- Sword of Dark Omens
- Sword of Procedural Generation
- TRIO cup of beer
- Tales of Dread
- Tales of Western Braggadoccio
- Tales of the Word Realms
- Talisman of Baio
- Talisman of Bakula
- Tapioc berry
- Temporal Tempera Tube
- That 70s Cologne
- The Author's ink
- The Beast Within™ candle
- The Big Book of Communism
- The Big Book of Communism (used)
- The Big Book of Every Skill
- The Chill of the Wild
- The Cocktail Shaker
- The Confiscator's Grimoire
- The Crown of Ed the Undying
- The Emperor's new hat
- The Emperor's new pants
- The Emperor's new shirt
- The Encyclopedia of Fruit
- The Encyclopedia of Fruit (used)
- The Eye of the Thing in the Basement
- The Fingernail of the Thing in the Basement
- The Firegate Tapes
- The Fun-Guy Cold Weather Bartender's Guide
- The Ghoul King's ghoulottes
- The Groose in the Hoose
- The Imploded World
- The Inquisitor's unidentifiable object
- The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 1
- The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 1 (used)
- The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 2
- The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 2 (used)
- The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 3
- The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 3 (used)
- The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 4
- The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 4 (used)
- The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 5
- The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 5 (used)
- The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 6
- The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 6 (used)
- The Kloop in the Coop
- The Mad Liquor
- The Necbronomicon (used)
- The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 1
- The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 1 (used)
- The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 2
- The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 2 (used)
- The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 3
- The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 3 (used)
- The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 4
- The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 4 (used)
- The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 5
- The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 5 (used)
- The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 6
- The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 6 (used)
- The Nose Knows, A Guide to Smells
- The Nose Knows, A Guide to Smells (read)
- The Nuge's favorite crossbow
- The One Mood Ring
- The Plumber's mushroom stew
- The Sagittarian's leisure pants
- The Smith's Tome
- The Spirit of Giving
- The Spirit of Giving (used)
- The Superconductor's CPU
- The Sword in the Steak
- The Western Look
- They'll Love You In Rhinestones
- Thinknerd's Grimoire of Geeky Gifts
- Third Base
- Thor's Pliers
- Three Mile Island shorts
- Thriller Ice
- Thunkula's drinking cap
- Thwaitgold Goliath beetle statuette
- Thwaitgold Illinigina illinoiensis model
- Thwaitgold ant statuette
- Thwaitgold anti-moth statuette
- Thwaitgold bombardier beetle statuette
- Thwaitgold bookworm statuette
- Thwaitgold buzzy beetle statuette
- Thwaitgold caterpillar statuette
- Thwaitgold chigger statuette
- Thwaitgold dragonfly statuette
- Thwaitgold fairyfly statue
- Thwaitgold fire beetle statuette
- Thwaitgold harvestman statuette
- Thwaitgold keyhole spider statuette
- Thwaitgold listening bug statuette
- Thwaitgold masked hunter statuette
- Thwaitgold metabug statuette
- Thwaitgold mosquito statuette
- Thwaitgold mosquito-in-amber statuette
- Thwaitgold nit statuette
- Thwaitgold nymph statuette
- Thwaitgold protozoa statuette
- Thwaitgold quantum bug statuette
- Thwaitgold scarab beetle statuette
- Thwaitgold scorpion statuette
- Thwaitgold slug statuette
- Thwaitgold spider statuette
- Thwaitgold splendor beetle statuette
- Thwaitgold termite statuette
- Thwaitgold time fly statuette
- Thwaitgold wheel bug statuette
- Thwaitgold wolf spider statuette
- Time Bandit Badge of Courage
- Time Cape
- Time Juice
- Time-Spinner
- To Build an Igloo
- Toddler-sized Dragon Costume
- Tome of Rad Libs
- Tome of Snowcone Summoning
- Tome of Sugar Shummoning
- Toot Oriole care package
- Totally Gay Claymore
- Trafikoan
- Trainbot autoassembly module
- Trainbot circuitry
- Trainbot harness
- Trainbot linkages
- Trainbot luggage hook
- Trainbot optics
- Trainbot plating
- Trainbot radar monocle
- Trainbot servomotors
- Trainbot slag
- Trainbot tubing
- Trash, a Memoir
- Travoltan trousers
- Treads of Loathing
- Trout Fishing in Loathing
- Truthsayer
- Turpin
- Turtive
- Turtle Bowl
- Twitching Television Tattoo
- Ultimate Mind Destroyer
- Ultra Mega Sour Ball
- Uncle Buck
- Underworld flail
- Underworld sapling
- Underworld truncheon
- Ungulant
- Unionize The Elves sign
- Universal Seasoning
- Unkillable Skeleton's breastplate
- Unkillable Skeleton's restless leg
- Unkillable Skeleton's sawsword
- Unkillable Skeleton's shield
- Unkillable Skeleton's shinguards
- Unkillable Skeleton's skullcap
- Unmotivator: Crashed Meat Car
- Unmotivator: Crashed Orca
- Unmotivator: Success Warrior
- Unopened Eight Days a Week Pill Keeper
- Unspeakachu
- Uovo Marcio Shiraz
- V for Vivala mask
- Val-U Brand Every Bean Salad
- Valentine's Day cake
- Vamprey
- Vaporpoise
- Vegetable of Jarlsberg
- Velougats™
- Velvet Veil
- Volcoino
- Voluminous Radio Hat
- Voluminous Radio Pants
- Voluminous Radio Sneakers
- Vulgure
- Waifuton
- Wal-Mart "diamond" ring
- Wal-Mart gift certificate
- Wal-Mart nametag
- Wal-Mart overalls
- Wal-Mart snowglobe
- Wal-Mart tattoo kit
- Wand of Oscus
- Warehouse 23 bling
- Warehouse 23 crate
- Warms-Your-Tush
- Wart Dinsey: An Afterlife
- Wendtigo
- Western Slang Vol. 1: Violence
- Western Slang Vol. 2: Cooking
- Western Slang Vol. 3: Fraud
- White Dragon Fang
- Witchess Set
- Wrotz
- Wullabye
- X
- X-32-F snowman crate
- Xi Receiver Unit
- Xiblaxian residence-cube
- Xlyinia's notebook
- Yeast of Boris
- Yeg's Motel alarm clock
- Yeg's Motel ashtray
- Yeg's Motel disposable razor
- Yeg's Motel hand soap
- Yeg's Motel minibar key
- Yeg's Motel mouthwash
- Yeg's Motel pillow mint
- Yeg's Motel sewing kit
- Yeg's Motel stationery
- Yeg's Motel toothbrush
- Yeti Protest Sign
- Young Man's Crew Sequester
- Yuleviathan necklace
- Zombo's empty eye
- [glitch season reward name]
- [reuse me]
- a bug's lymph
- a suspicious address
- absentee voter ballot
- abyssal battle plans
- actual blood sausage
- adobe abacus
- adobe abaya
- adobe adze
- adobe arsecover
- adobe ascot
- adobe assortment
- adobe ayam
- adobe brittle
- adventurer clone egg
- aerogel accordion
- aerogel akubra
- aerogel anvil
- aerogel apron
- aerogel ascot
- aerogel attache case
- aerosolized aerogel
- airplane charter: Conspiracy Island
- airplane charter: Dinseylandfill
- airplane charter: Spring Break Beach
- airplane charter: That 70s Volcano
- airplane charter: The Glaciest
- airplane tattoo
- alabaster bishop
- alabaster king
- alabaster knight
- alabaster pawn
- alabaster queen
- alabaster rook
- alien animal milk
- alien gemstone
- alien plant fibers
- alien plant pod
- alien plant sample
- alien protein powder
- alien rock sample
- alien sandwich
- alien source code printout
- alien source code printout (used)
- alien toenails
- alien zoological sample
- alpine watercolor set
- ancient Elf dessert spoon
- ancient hot dog wrapper
- ancient meat
- ancient pills
- ancient redwood
- anemoney clip
- anger blaster
- angry agate
- anise-flavored venom
- annealed drippy orb
- anti-burn cream
- anti-creep cream
- anti-freeze cream
- anti-goosebump cream
- anti-odor cream
- anti-pain cream
- antique Canadian lantern
- antique beer
- antique nutcracker beard
- antique nutcracker boots
- antique nutcracker cape
- antique nutcracker drumstick
- antique nutcracker epaulets
- antique nutcracker figurine
- antique nutcracker hat
- antique nutcracker pants
- antique nutcracker sword
- antique nutcracker waistcoat
- antique spyglass
- antique tacklebox
- aquamariner's necklace
- arcanoferric housing
- archaeologing shovel
- arse-shooting crossbow
- artisanal homebrew gift package
- artisanal homebrew sampler
- asteroid belt
- astral badger
- astronaut ice-cream
- augmented-reality shades
- august scepter
- automa-bot parts
- automatic wine thief
- autumn breeze
- autumn dollar
- autumn leaf
- autumn years wisdom
- autumn-spice donut
- autumnal aegis
- autumnic balm
- autumnic bomb
- avatar of the Unconscious Collective
- aviator goggles
- baby camelCalf
- baby chest mimic
- baby rigging snake
- backup camera
- backwoods banjo
- bad penguin egg
- bad rum and good cola
- bag of Iunion stones
- bag of foreign bribes
- bag of sausage links
- bagged Cargo Cultist Shorts
- bagged stuffed "L"
- baked veggie ricotta casserole
- bakelite backpack
- bakelite belt
- bakelite bits
- bakelite breeches
- bakelite brooch
- balanced antler
- balsam barrel
- banana candle
- banana split
- baneful bandolier
- bar of freeze-dried water
- barnacle-encrusted sweater
- barnacled barrel
- barrel-aged eggnog
- basaltamander buckler
- basking robin
- battery (9-Volt)
- battery (AA)
- battery (AAA)
- battery (D)
- battery (car)
- battery (lantern)
- battoo kit
- bauxite beret
- bauxite bow-tie
- bauxite boxers
- beautiful rainbow
- beaver punch (cherry)
- beaver punch (papaya)
- beaver punch (peach)
- beavermouth
- beefy pill
- beet
- beetle antenna
- beggin' cologne
- belt of Ogrekind
- best joke ever
- big hot pepper
- big ol' trophy
- big tun
- biker's hat
- biomechanical crimborg helmet
- biomechanical crimborg leg armor
- birdybug antenna
- birthday candle
- black Crimbo ball
- black and white cracker
- black gallstone
- black slime glob
- blank note
- blank white card
- blessed rustproof +2 gray dragon scale mail
- blood kiwi
- blood roll-up
- blood sausage
- blood snowcone
- blood-drive sticker
- blood-soaked sponge cake
- bloodstick
- bloody kiwitini
- blown-out speaker cone
- blue LavaCo Lamp™
- blue glowstick
- blue money bag
- blue plate
- blue ribbon
- blue rocket
- blue traffic cone
- blueberry muffin
- body spradium
- bodyslam
- boiling broth
- boiling hot cocoa
- bolder boulder
- bone broth
- bone flour
- book of facts
- book of facts (dog-eared)
- boot flask
- boot plant
- booze bindle
- booze drive button
- booze mailing list
- bottle of Bloodweiser
- bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon
- bottle of Crimbognac
- bottle of Lambada Lambic
- bottle of Sanguiovese
- bottle of clam juice
- bottle of dark rhum
- bottle of extra-dark rhum
- bottle of lovebug pheromones
- bottle of sea wine
- bottle of super-extra-dark rhum
- bottle-rocket crossbow
- bottled Vampire Vintner
- bottled day
- bottled green pixie
- bowl full of jelly
- bowl of mernudo
- bowl of oriole's nest soup
- bowl of petunias
- bowl of prescription candy
- box o' ghosts
- box of Gratitude chocolates
- boxed Apriling band helmet
- boxed Mayam Calendar
- boxed august scepter
- boxed autumn-aton
- boxed gumball machine
- brain preservation fluid
- bran muffin
- brass Dreadsylvanian flask
- bread man
- bread pie
- brilliant oyster egg
- bronze
- brown pirate pants
- buñuelos Jaliscos
- bucket of ancient Vampyre blood
- buffalo dime
- buffed alien drugs
- bug juice
- bugbear-smiting sword
- bulky free-range mushroom
- bullet necklace
- bunch of sea grapes
- bundle of "fragrant" herbs
- bundle of firewood
- burglar/sleep mask
- burning newspaper
- burnt stick
- cabooze
- calm attention-deficit demon
- campfire baked potato
- campfire beans
- campfire coffee
- campfire hot dog
- campfire s'more
- campfire smoke
- campfire stew
- can of Rain-Doh
- can of V-11
- can of mixed everything
- candied almond
- candied lime
- candy cane sword cane
- candy chalk
- candy cornucopia
- candy dog collar
- candy drive button
- candy harmonica
- candy mailing list
- candy stick
- cannonbomb
- canteen of eggnog
- capped blue lava bottle
- capped green lava bottle
- capped red lava bottle
- carbonite visor
- card sleeve
- carnivorous potted plant
- carrot cake precipice bar
- carrot-on-a-stick
- cartoon harpoon
- cat o' nine teeth
- caustic slime nodule
- cement shoes
- ceramic celery grater
- ceramic celsiturometer
- ceramic cenobite's robe
- ceramic centurion shield
- ceramic cerecloth belt
- ceramic cestus
- ceramic scree
- chalk chain
- chalk chalice
- chalk chapeau
- chalk chinos
- chalk chlamys
- chalk choker
- chalk chunks
- cheer extractor
- cheer-o-gram
- cheerful Crimbo sweater
- cheerful antler hat
- cheerful pajama pants
- cherry bomb
- chest barrel
- chest of "pirate gold"
- chiffon carbage
- chiffon chakram
- chiffon chamberpot
- chiffon chapeau
- chiffon chaps
- chiffon chemise
- chiffon chevrons
- chiffon lemon
- chitin powder
- chitin powder paste
- chocolate "Phoenix"
- chocolate Ogre Chieftain
- chocolate Spider Queen
- chocolate chip muffin
- chocolate covered ping-pong ball
- chocolate puppy
- chocolate-covered loofah
- chocolate-frosted king cake
- chocomotive
- cinnamon machine oil
- circle drum
- clan underground fireworks shop
- class five ecto-larva
- claw-held flag
- clear Russian
- clerical automa-core
- cloning kit
- closed-circuit pay phone
- closed-circuit phone system
- coal paperweight
- coarse hemp socks
- cocoa chondrule
- cocoa of youth
- coffee sprite
- cold cluster
- cold clusterbomb
- cold medicine cabinet
- colossal free-range mushroom
- combat lover's locket
- combat lover's locket lockbox
- comfy blanket
- complex alien plant sample
- complex alien zoological sample
- complicated device
- complicated lock impression
- concentrated cooking
- concentrated fish broth
- conquistador's breastplate
- consolation ribbon
- container of Spooky Putty
- contract enforcement stick
- control crystal
- cookbookbat book
- cool hot cocoa
- cool iron breastplate
- cool iron greaves
- cool iron helmet
- cool iron ingot
- cool mint precipice bar
- cooling iron breastplate
- cooling iron greaves
- cooling iron helmet
- coping juice
- corked genie bottle
- corned beet
- corroded breeches
- corrosive cowl
- corrupted stardust
- cosmetic football
- cosmic bucket
- cotton candy cocoon
- cozy scarf
- crabsicle
- cranberry margarita (brackish)
- crated wardrobe-o-matic
- crazy bastard sword
- crimbo elfling
- crude oil congealer
- crunchy brush
- crushed steamer trunk
- crystal Crimbo goblet
- crystal Crimbo platter
- crystalline cheer
- crystalline seal eye
- cuckoo clock
- cup of "tea"
- cursed breeches
- cursed chocolate doubloon
- cursed cutlass
- cursed eyepatch
- cursed magnifying glass
- cursed microwave
- cursed monkey glove
- cursed monkey's paw
- cursed pirate cutlass
- cursed pony keg
- cursed ring finger ring
- cursed swash buckle
- cursed tricorn hat
- cursed wishbone
- custom avatar form
- cute meteoroid
- cyan seashell
- daddy shortlegs leg
- damp old wallet
- dandy lion cub
- day shortener
- deactivated RoboGoose
- deactivated mini-Trainbot
- deactivated putty buddy
- deadfall branch
- deanimated reanimator's coffin
- debonair deboner
- deed to Oliver's Place
- defective Game Grid token
- defective Golden Mr. Accessory
- deflated inflatable dodecapede
- delicious star salad
- deluxe Neverending Party favor
- demon makeup kit
- denastified haunch
- denim jacket
- depleted Crimbonium football helmet
- designer sweatpants
- designer sweatpants (new old stock)
- detective school application
- detour shield
- diabolic pizza cube
- diabolical crossbow
- dice belt buckle
- dice ring
- dice sunglasses
- dice-print do-rag
- dice-print pajama pants
- dice-shaped backpack
- dieting pill
- dirt julep
- dirty martini
- disco horoscope (Gemini)
- disco horoscope (Virgo)
- disconnected intergnat
- disintegrating barrel
- distilled resin
- do-it-yourself laser eye surgery kit
- doll-eye amulet
- donated booze
- donated candy
- donated food
- doppelshifter egg
- dorky glasses
- double daisy
- double entendre
- doubt cannon
- dreadful fedora
- dreadful glove
- dreadful sweater
- dreaming Jung man
- dregs of a Crimbo cocktail
- drink chit
- drippy bezoar
- drippy bromide
- drippy candy bar
- drippy caviar
- drippy diadem
- drippy enzyme
- drippy flux
- drippy grub
- drippy ichor
- drippy khakis
- drippy nugget
- drippy orb
- drippy pigment
- drippy pilsner
- drippy plum(?)
- drippy salt
- drippy seed
- drippy shield
- drippy snail shell
- drippy staff
- drippy stake
- drippy stein
- drippy truncheon
- drive-by shooting
- drive-thru burger
- dromedary drinking helmet
- dropped scrap of paper
- druidic s'more
- dusty barrel
- dusty bottle of blood
- ear candle
- earthenware muffin tin
- eau de mort
- eaves droppers
- eerie fetish
- eggwater
- eighth plague
- eldritch hat
- eldritch mushroom pizza
- eldritch pants
- eldritch tincture (depleted)
- electric mushroom
- electric pants
- electrician's hardhat
- electronic Brain Trainer game
- electronics kit
- elemental caipiroska
- elevenderizing hammer
- elevennis shoes
- elevent
- elf army field rations
- elf sleeper agent
- elven tambourine
- emergency glowstick
- emergency margarita
- emo roe
- emotion chip
- empty Rain-Doh can
- empty hourglass
- energized spores
- enhanced signal receiver
- envelope full of Meat
- epic cluster
- ert grey goo ring
- etched hourglass
- eternal knot tattoo
- everfull glass
- evil flaming eyeball pendant
- evil noodles
- evil paper umbrella
- excitement pill
- exclusive club
- exclusive ultra-rare item
- executive mime flask
- exo-xo-skeleton-skeleton
- experimental carbon fiber pasta additive
- expired MRE
- extra special Crimbo stocking
- extra time
- extra-grubby grub
- extra-hard jawbreaker
- extra-strength goo
- extra-toasted half sandwich
- faded green protest sign
- faded red protest sign
- fairy-worn boots
- fake washboard
- familiar scrapbook
- fancy chess set
- fancy party pants
- fascinating alien plant sample
- fascinating alien zoological sample
- fear condenser
- feathered headdress
- festive egg sac
- festive warbear bank
- fettucini épines Inconnu recipe
- fetus-smashing club
- fiberglass fannypack
- fiberglass fedora
- fiberglass fetish
- fiberglass fibers
- fiberglass fingerguard
- fiberglass foil
- fiberglass frock
- fiberglass insulation
- filled mosquito
- fire ant pheromones
- fire crackers
- fire hose
- fire-roasted lake trout
- fireproof skip lid
- fish head
- fish sauce
- fishbone catcher's mitt
- fishbone kneepads
- fishcake
- fishelada
- fist turkey outline
- fistful of ashes
- fistful of wood shavings
- fitness wristband
- five-fingered fern resin
- fixodent
- flagstone fez
- flagstone flag
- flagstone flagments
- flagstone flail
- flagstone fleece
- flagstone flip-flops
- flagstone fringe
- flame orb
- flaming familiar doppelgänger
- flaming juggler's balls
- flaming leaf crown
- flaming pink shirt
- flan del mar
- flapper fly
- flashing novelty button
- flask of egggrog
- flask of moonshine
- flask of port
- fleshy putty
- flickering pixel
- flimsy hardwood scraps
- floaty stone sphere
- flour cookie
- foam commodore's hat
- foam naval trousers
- folder (Ex-Files)
- folder (Jackass Plumber)
- folder (KOLHS)
- folder (Knight Writer)
- folder (barbarian)
- folder (holographic fractal)
- folder (skull and crossbones)
- folder (tranquil landscape)
- food drive button
- food mailing list
- forest canopy bed
- fortifying hot cocoa
- fragment of Jarlsberg's soul
- frankincenser
- free boots
- free-range mushroom
- freightcake
- fresh can of paint
- fresh coat of paint
- fried air
- frost flower
- frost-rimed desk bell
- frozen tofu pop
- fruit bat
- fruit-stuffed rumcake
- fruity pebble
- frying brainpan
- funny paper hat
- furry pill
- fuzzy bracelets
- fuzzy polar bear ears
- gabardine gaiters
- gabardine garibaldi
- gabardine garland
- gabardine girdle
- gabardine gloves
- gabardine gunnysack
- gabardine smithereens
- gaffer's tape
- garbage sticker
- gas can
- gasmask
- gator shades
- gattoo
- genie bottle
- genie's bracers
- genie's pants
- genie's scimitar
- genie's turbane
- ghost pencil
- ghost shawl
- ghostly ectoplasm
- giant O
- giant X
- giant free-range mushroom
- gilded BRICKO brick
- gilded BRICKO chalice
- gilded trumpet
- gingerbread dog treat
- gingerbread nylons
- gingerbread pirate
- gingernade
- gingerservo
- ginseng
- glass of "milk"
- glass of drippy wine
- glass of raw eggs
- glass slipper
- gleaming oyster egg
- glistening oyster egg
- glob of extra-green chlorophyll
- glob of salty molasses
- glob of undifferentiated tissue
- glyph of athleticism
- goblin bone hilt
- goblin collarbone
- gold skull ring
- golden fleece
- golden gum
- golden gun
- golden monkey statuette
- golden sausage
- golden tattoo gun
- goo magnet
- goodberry
- gooey drippy candy bar
- googly chest eyes
- gooified animal matter
- gooified mineral matter
- gooified vegetable matter
- gory drippy orb
- government booze shipment
- government candy shipment
- government food shipment
- government per-diem
- government requisition form
- government-issued candy
- government-issued eyeshade
- government-issued necktie
- government-issued slacks
- grain of sand
- gray seashell
- grease cannon
- greasy desk bell
- great old fashioned
- greedy ghostling
- green LavaCo Lamp™
- green and red bean
- green face paint
- green glowstick
- green marshmallow
- green rocket
- green seashell
- green slime glob
- green traffic cone
- gregarious ghostling
- grey down vest
- grey gosling
- grilled mooseflank
- grinning ghostling
- grisly shield
- grog nuts
- groggipop
- grogtini
- groping claw
- groveling gravel
- grubby wool
- grubby wool beerwarmer
- grubby wool gloves
- grubby wool hat
- grubby wool scarf
- grubby wool trousers
- grubby woolball
- guffin
- guild application
- guilty sprout
- gunwale
- gunwale whalegun
- haemolymphnode
- hairshirt
- half double fruitcake
- half-height cigar
- hand of Mr. Cards
- hand turkey outline
- hand-crafted candy cane
- hand-knitted Crimbo socks
- hand-knitted diving booties
- handful of Boltsmann bearings
- handful of toilet paper
- hangman's hood
- hard rock
- hardened slime belt
- hardened slime hat
- hardened slime pants
- hardening cream
- hare pin
- haunted Hell ramen
- haunted bottle of vodka
- haunted cherry pie
- haunted doghouse
- haunted eggnog
- haunted gimlet
- haunted martini
- haunted orange
- haunted pizza
- hazardous sauce dosimeter
- hazmat helmet
- head-mounted Trainbot
- heart cozy
- heart-shaped candy whetstone
- heart-shaped crate
- heather graham cracker
- hell in a bucket
- hemlock helm
- hemp backpack
- hermedisiac cologne
- heteroerotic frat-paddle
- hewn moon-rune spoon
- hi-density nylocite leg armor
- hibernating Grimstone Golem
- hibiscus petal
- high-temperature mining drill
- hippo tutu
- hipster cocktail
- hobo code binder
- hobo monkey
- hockey stick of furious angry rage
- hollow rock
- homeless hobo spirit
- homemade robot
- honey bun of Boris
- honey-drenched ham slice
- hopeful candle
- hot button candy
- hot cluster
- hot clusterbomb
- hot cocoa au beurre
- hot cocoa with rainbow marshmallows
- hot watered rum
- hot wine
- hourglass
- house-sized mushroom
- housekeeping automa-core
- huge Crimbo cookie
- huge mint leaf
- human musk
- hungover chauvinist pig
- hunk of granite
- hushed puppy
- hypnodisk
- ice baby
- ice pick
- ice sickle
- ice skates
- iceberglet
- icing poncho
- imaginary lemon
- immense free-range mushroom
- imported lemon lozenge
- imported taffy
- in-the-box spring shoes
- incredibly dense meat gem
- indie comic hipster glasses
- industrial fire extinguisher
- industrial frosting
- industrial lubricant
- industrial strength anti-fungal spray
- industrially-crushed ice
- inert sludgepuppy
- infant sandworm
- infernal snowball
- infinite BACON machine
- inflammable leaf
- inflatable LT&T telegraph office
- insulting hat
- intact anemone spike
- intact medium-wave antenna
- interesting clod of dirt
- intergalactic pom poms
- interrogative elixir
- intimidating coiffure
- intricate clockwork big hand
- intricate clockwork cuckoo
- intricate clockwork disc
- intricate clockwork egg
- intricate clockwork little hand
- intricate clockwork numeral I
- intricate clockwork numeral II
- intricate clockwork numeral III
- intricate clockwork numeral IV
- intricate clockwork numeral IX
- intricate clockwork numeral V
- intricate clockwork numeral VI
- intricate clockwork numeral VII
- intricate clockwork numeral VIII
- intricate clockwork numeral X
- intricate clockwork numeral XI
- intricate clockwork numeral XII
- intricate music box parts
- iron chain
- isotophat
- jam band bootleg
- jangly spurs
- jar of frostigkraut
- jar of magical relish
- jewel-eyed wizard hat
- jitterbug larva
- jug of Sneaky Pete's Mojo
- jug of booze
- kelp
- kelp-holly drape
- kelp-holly gun
- kerosene-soaked skip
- kevlateflocite helmet
- kill screen
- kilopede skull
- kitten burglar
- kobold treasure hoard
- lab-grown meat
- labrador cookie
- large pile of sand
- large stone triangle
- laser cannon
- laser targeting chip
- latte lovers club card
- latte lovers member's mug
- lava balaclava
- lavalarva
- leafy browns
- left bear arm
- leftover chocolate bar
- leg-mounted Trainbots
- leggings of the Spider Queen
- length of old fuse
- li'l orphan tot
- liar's pants
- licorice snake
- licorice whip
- liquid SONAR
- liquid rhinestones
- lit leaf lasso
- literal grasshopper
- little box of fireworks
- little deuce cape
- little firkin
- little piece of steel
- little red book
- livid energy
- llama lama cria
- loaf of alien bread
- locked mumming trunk
- lodestone
- loofah ladle
- loofah lavalier
- loofah lederhosen
- loofah legwarmers
- loofah lei
- loofah lumberjack's hat
- loofah lumps
- loose blade
- lost elf luggage
- love
- low tide martini
- lucky Tam O'Shanter
- lucky Tam O'Shatner
- lucky gold ring
- lucky rabbitfish fin
- lucky-ish pill
- lump of bauxite
- lump of loyal latite
- lupine appetite hormones
- lustrous drippy orb
- lustrous oyster egg
- luxury fly-tying workbench
- machine elf capsule
- mafia filofax
- mafia middle finger ring
- mafia organizer badge
- mafia pinky ring
- mafia pointer finger ring
- mafia thumb ring
- mafia wedding ring
- magenta seashell
- magical battery
- magical pony: Dusk Shiny
- magical pony: Pearjack
- magical pony: Rosey Cake
- magical pony: Shutterfly
- magical pony: Spectrum Dash
- magical pony: Uniquity
- magical sausage
- magical sausage casing
- magnificent oyster egg
- malevolent medallion
- mana-basted tofurkey leg
- mana-coated yams
- mana-fortified cranberry sauce
- mana-stuffed herbal stuffing
- mantis skull
- map to Anemone Mine
- map to Dolph Bossin's hideout
- map to Madness Reef
- map to a candy-rich block
- map to the Cursed Village
- map to the Dive Bar
- map to the Marinara Trench
- map to the Mystic Wood
- map to the Putrid Swamp
- map to the Skate Park
- map to the Sprawling Cemetery
- map to the Towering Mountains
- marble maebari
- marble magnet
- marble mantle
- marble mariachi hat
- marble medallion
- marble mignonette bowl
- marble molecules
- marshmallow bomb
- marshroom
- martiny
- massive wrench
- mayfly bait necklace
- meadeorite
- meatball
- meatball machine
- medium stone triangle
- melty plastic grenade
- mentholated wine
- mercenary pistol
- mercenary rifle
- mesquito proboscis
- metal meteoroid
- metandienone
- meteor shower cap
- meteorb
- meteoreo
- meteorite earring
- meteorite fragment
- meteorite guard
- meteorite necklace
- meteorite ring
- meteortarboard
- meteorthopedic shoes
- micronova
- milestone
- military candy cane
- military-grade peppermint oil
- mime army camouflage kit
- mime army challenge coin
- mime army infiltration glove
- mime army insignia (cryonics)
- mime army insignia (espionage)
- mime army insignia (infantry)
- mime army insignia (intelligence)
- mime army insignia (morale)
- mime army insignia (psychological warfare)
- mime army insignia (pyrotechnics)
- mime army insignia (sanitation)
- mime army rations
- mime army shotglass
- mime army superserum
- mime army wine
- mime eraser
- mime pocket probe
- mime-proof sunglasses
- mimeplasm
- miming beret
- miming boots
- miming corduroys
- miming gloves
- miming shirt
- mini kiwi
- mini kiwi aioli
- mini kiwi antimilitaristic hippy petition
- mini kiwi bikini
- mini kiwi digitized cookies
- mini kiwi egg
- mini kiwi icepick
- mini kiwi illicit antibiotic
- mini kiwi intoxicating spirits
- mini kiwi invisible dirigible
- mini kiwi silicon tiepin
- mini kiwi tipi
- mini kiwi whipping stick
- mini kiwi-flavored aspirin-injecting lipstick
- mini kiwitini
- miniature crystal ball
- miniature deck cannon
- miniature goose mask
- miniature gravy-covered maypole
- miniature stuffed Goth Giant
- miniscule temporal rip
- mint condition Lil' Doctor™ bag
- mint condition magnifying glass
- mint-in-box Powerful Glove
- model train set
- moist Crimbo spices
- moist barrel
- moist sack
- molehill mountain
- moon-amber
- moon-amber necklace
- mooseflank
- moosemeat pie
- moreltini
- morning dew
- moss floss
- moss mace
- moss mantle
- moss marlinspike
- moss medal
- moss megaphone
- moss mitre
- moss mulch
- mostly-empty bottle of cookie wine
- mother's necklace
- mouldering barrel
- mourning wine
- moveable feast
- muffled muffuletta
- mulled blood
- mulled hobo wine
- mulled wine
- multi-level marzipan
- mummified entombed cookbookbat
- mumming trunk
- murderbot live wire
- murderbot mask
- murderbot memory chip
- murderbot shield unit
- murderbot spring injector
- murderbot whip
- mushroom filet
- mushroom slab
- mushroom tea
- mushroom whiskey
- muskox-skin cap
- mutant arm
- mutant crown
- mutant fire ant egg
- mutant gila monster egg
- mutant legs
- mutant rattlesnake egg
- mutated candy lump
- myrrh pouch
- mystery lollipop
- name change form
- nasty desk bell
- nasty-smelling moss
- nativity shorts
- natural magick candle
- naughty fortune teller
- naughty origami kit
- naughty paper shuriken
- nauseating reagent
- navel ring of navel gazing
- ncle leg
- neck wreath
- neg grog
- nega-mushroom
- nega-mushroom wine
- negotiatin' hammer
- nervous tick egg
- nest egg
- neverending wallet chain
- new habit
- newborn kobold
- newly-hatched mayonnaise wasp
- nice warm beer
- nicksilver ring
- nicksilver spurs
- ninja pirate zombie robot
- ninja pirate zombie robot head
- non-Euclidean angle
- normal barrel
- norwhal helmet
- nothingtini
- noticeable pumps
- novelty monorail ticket
- nozzle of the Phoenix
- nuclear stockpile
- nugget of ticksilver
- numberwang
- nutcracking pliers
- octolus-skin cloak
- odd silver coin
- off-hand balloon
- offensive moustache
- officer's nog
- ojo de pez burrito
- old ball and chain
- old dry bone
- old school Mafia knickerbockers
- old-fashioned Crimbo Pressie
- old-school pirate grog
- oldcake
- one million meat pancakes
- one piece of bubble gum
- one-day ticket to Conspiracy Island
- one-day ticket to Dinseylandfill
- one-day ticket to Spring Break Beach
- one-day ticket to That 70s Volcano
- one-day ticket to The Glaciest
- onyx bishop
- onyx king
- onyx knight
- onyx pawn
- onyx queen
- onyx rook
- optimal spreadsheet
- orange glowstick
- orange slime glob
- orange traffic cone
- organic potpourri
- origami "gentlemen's" magazine
- origami pasties
- origami riding crop
- ornamental sextant
- orphan baby yeti
- out-of-work circus flea
- over-the-shoulder Folder Holder
- overflowing gift basket
- overloaded Yule battery
- overloaded short-pulse transistor
- overly-fancy hot cocoa
- oversized ice molecule
- oxygenated eggnog helmet
- packaged Daylight Shavings Helmet
- packaged Everfull Dart Holster
- packaged June cleaver
- packaged Jurassic Parka
- packaged Pocket Professor
- packaged SpinMaster™ lathe
- packaged backup camera
- packaged cold medicine cabinet
- packaged familiar scrapbook
- packaged industrial fire extinguisher
- packaged knock-off retro superhero cape
- packaged miniature crystal ball
- packaged model train set
- packet of beer seeds
- packet of mayfly bait
- packet of mushroom spores
- packet of rock seeds
- packet of tall grass seeds
- packet of thanksgarden seeds
- packet of winter seeds
- paint palette
- pair of candy glasses
- pair of plants
- pair of scissors
- pantogram
- papier-mâché base
- papier-mâché bowl
- papier-mâché glob
- papier-mâché handle
- papier-mâché plaque
- papier-mâché toothpicks
- papier-mâché trophy piñata
- papier-mâchéte
- papier-mâchaeranthera
- papier-mâchine gun
- papier-mâchuridars
- papier-masque
- papier-mitre
- papier-mochi
- paraffin palazzos
- paraffin pendant
- paraffin pieces
- paraffin pith helmet
- paraffin poncho
- paraffin pseudoaccordion
- paraffin punching bag
- party balloon
- party beer bomb
- party crasher
- party mouse hat
- party platter for one
- party pup
- party whip
- passed-out psychedelic bear
- patch of extra-warm fur
- pearl diver's necklace
- pearl diver's ring
- pearlescent oyster egg
- pebble of proud pyrite
- pegfinger
- pentagram bandana
- peppermint bomb
- peppermint donut
- peppermint eel sauce
- peppermint harpoon gun
- peppermint spine
- peppermint sprig
- peppermint syrup
- peppermint tack
- peppermint-scented socks
- perfectly fair coin
- perfectly ordinary frog
- pernicious cudgel
- personal graffiti kit
- personal raindrop
- personalizable gingerbread cookie
- personalized wassail stein
- pet anchor
- petrified time
- pewter shavings
- phial of coldness
- phial of hotness
- phial of spookiness
- pickled bread
- picky tweezers
- piece of coral
- piece of driftwood
- pile of Trainbot parts
- pile of gritty sand
- pile of sand
- pilgrim shield
- pine cone
- pine cone necklace
- pineapple slab
- ping-pong ball
- ping-pong paddle
- pink glowstick
- pint of sweat
- piracetam
- piranha pollen
- pirate encryption key (complete)
- pirate encryption key alpha
- pirate encryption key bravo
- pirate encryption key charlie
- pirate encryption key delta
- pirate fork
- pirate hook
- pirate pantaloons
- pirate radio ring
- pirate shaving cream
- pirate zombie head
- piratical blunderbuss
- pixel bread
- pixel grappling hook
- pixel rock
- pixel whiskey
- plain calzone
- plain candy cane
- plain snowcone
- plans for depleted Grimacite astrolabe
- plans for depleted Grimacite grappling hook
- plans for depleted Grimacite gravy boat
- plans for depleted Grimacite hammer
- plans for depleted Grimacite ninja mask
- plans for depleted Grimacite shinguards
- plans for depleted Grimacite weightlifting belt
- plastic bazooka
- plastic doll arms
- plastic doll legs
- plastic piranha pot
- plastic pirate hat
- plastic pumpkin bucket
- plexifoam chin strap
- plump free-range mushroom
- plush sea serpent
- pocket lint (blue)
- pocket lint (orange)
- pogo stick
- poisonsettia
- polished moon-amber
- polyester pad
- polyester panama hat
- polyester parachute
- polyester peeler
- polyester pettipants
- polyester pulsera
- polyesterene powder
- polymorphic fastening apparatus
- poncho de azucar
- ponytail clip
- pool shark hair oil
- porcelain pelerine
- porcelain pepper mill
- porcelain phantom mask
- porcelain plus-fours
- porcelain police baton
- porcelain porkpie
- porcelain powder
- portable Mayo Clinic
- portable Spacegate
- portable dam
- portable housekeeping robot
- portable pantogram
- portable ping-pong table
- portable steam unit
- potato alarm clock
- potted power plant
- potted tea tree
- powdered dice
- powdered madness
- powdered powdered sugar
- power seed
- prank Crimbo card
- praying Grim Brother
- precision snowball
- prescription teeth whitener
- present
- pressurized potion of possessiveness
- primitive alien blowgun
- primitive alien booze
- primitive alien loincloth
- primitive alien mask
- primitive alien medicine
- primitive alien necklace
- primitive alien spear
- primitive alien totem
- primitive candy cane
- pristine piranha seed
- pristine walrus tusk
- pro skateboard
- prohie's hat
- projectile chemistry set
- protection stick
- protonic accelerator pack
- prototype stimulant
- psychic's amulet
- psychic's circlet
- psychic's crystal ball
- psychic's pslacks
- psychoanalytic jar
- pump-up high-tops
- punch-drunk punch
- punching mirror
- puppet strings
- purple glowstick
- purpleheart "pants"
- purpleheart logs
- puzzling ribbon
- puzzling trophy
- pygmy bugbear shaman
- quantum of familiar
- quicksilver ring
- quicksilver spurs
- quirky accordion
- raffle prize box
- raffle ticket
- rainbow glitter candle
- rainbow jellybean
- rainbow pearl
- rainbow pearl earring
- rainbow pearl necklace
- rainbow pearl ring
- rare oboe
- ratatouille de Jarlsberg
- ratskin pajama pants
- ratty knitted cap
- real cowboy hat
- really nice lump of coal
- really nice net
- record of infuriating silence
- record of infuriating silence (used)
- record of menacing silence
- record of menacing silence (used)
- record of tranquil silence
- record of tranquil silence (used)
- recovered cufflinks
- red LavaCo Lamp™
- red and green rain stick
- red and white claret
- red coin
- red face paint
- red money bag
- red plumber's boots
- red rocket
- red traffic cone
- red white and blue claret
- red-and-green microcamera
- red-hot medallion
- red-hot sausage fork
- red-soled high heels
- red-spotted snapper roe
- redwood rain stick
- refurbished air fryer
- regret hose
- rehearsing dramatic hedgehog
- reindeer hammer
- reindeer sickle
- reliable sixgun
- remorseless knife
- repaid diaper
- replica Elf Guard medal
- replica Ten Dollars
- replica bat-oomerang
- replica key
- research fragment
- residual chitin paste
- reusable shopping bag
- reverse Tantalus
- rhinestone
- ribbon candy ascot
- riboflavin
- rigging knot
- right bear arm
- ring
- ring of the Skeleton Lord
- roasted vegetable focaccia
- roasted vegetable of Jarlsberg
- rock lobster
- roll of meat
- rose-colored glasses
- rotting barrel
- rubber WWBBDD? bracelet
- rubber baby doll
- rubber cape
- rubber doll body
- rubber doll head
- rum-soaked fruitcake
- rune-strewn spoon cocoon
- runny fermented egg
- runny icing
- runproof mascara
- rutabuga bag
- sachet of strange powder
- salt plum
- salt plum sake
- salted mutton
- salty drippy candy bar
- salty gumdrop
- sampler size toothpaste
- sane hatrack
- sangria del diablo
- sardine can key
- sausage golem
- savings bond
- sawed-off blunderbuss
- scabrous seal epaulets
- scepter of the Skeleton Lord
- scintillating oyster egg
- scroll of minor invulnerability
- scroll of protection from lycanthropes
- sea chaps
- sea-worn candlestick
- seal medal
- second-hand knockoff engagement ring
- security automa-core
- self-repairing earmuffs
- senate fly thorax
- sequin-encrusted sweater
- set of Unobtainium straps
- sew-on bandage
- shadow bread
- shadow brick
- shadow candle
- shadow candy
- shadow chef's hat
- shadow flame
- shadow fluid
- shadow glass
- shadow hammer
- shadow hot dog
- shadow ice
- shadow martini
- shadow monocle
- shadow nectar
- shadow needle
- shadow pill
- shadow sausage
- shadow sinew
- shadow skin
- shadow stick
- shadow trousers
- shadow venom
- shadowy cheat sheet
- shark jumper
- sharkfin gumbo
- sharp tin strip
- shield of the Skeleton Lord
- shim of shame shale
- shining star cap
- shipwright's hammer
- shoe ad T-shirt
- shooting morning star
- short beer
- short glass of water
- short stack of pancakes
- short stick of butter
- short white
- shortest-order cook
- shot of Sneaky Pete's Mojo
- shot of wasp venom
- shoulder-mounted Trainbot
- shovelful of dirt
- shrine to the Barrel god
- shrink-wrapped 2002 Mr. Store Catalog
- shrink-wrapped Cincho de Mayo
- shroomtini
- shuddering cow skull
- shushed potatoes
- sicksilver ring
- siesta-ing Casagnova gnome
- signal fragment
- signal receiver
- silent A
- silent B
- silent C
- silent D
- silent E
- silent F
- silent G
- silent H
- silent I
- silent J
- silent K
- silent L
- silent M
- silent N
- silent O
- silent P
- silent Q
- silent R
- silent S
- silent T
- silent U
- silent V
- silent W
- silent X
- silent Y
- silent Z
- silent nightlight
- silicon-infused gluteal shield
- silk garter snake
- silver Dreadsylvanian flask
- silver cow creamer
- silver sausage
- silver table-scraper
- single atom
- single entendre
- single-use dust mask
- sinister ancient tablet
- sinistral homunculus
- sizzling desk bell
- skewered cherry
- skewered jumbo olive
- skewered lime
- skull capacitor
- skulldozer egg
- slap and slap again recipe
- sleaze cluster
- sleaze clusterbomb
- sleeping patriotic eagle
- sleeping piano cat
- slicksilver ring
- slime fedora
- slime knuckles
- slime waders
- slime-covered club
- slime-covered compass
- slime-covered greaves
- slime-covered helmet
- slime-covered lantern
- slime-covered necklace
- slime-covered shovel
- slime-covered speargun
- slime-covered staff
- slime-soaked brain
- slime-soaked hypophysis
- slime-soaked sweat gland
- slippery when wet shield
- small Crimbo Pressie
- small golem
- small pile of sand
- small stone triangle
- smart watch
- smoking talon
- smoldering leafcutter ant egg
- snake skin
- snakeskin cowboy hat
- snakeskin jacket
- snakeskin thighboots
- sneaky wrapping paper
- snow machine
- snowpack
- snowstick
- sober pill
- soggy elf shoes
- soggy gingerbread chunk
- soilzerac
- solid shifting time weirdness
- soul coin
- soul knife
- souvenir flag
- space bar
- space blanket
- space chowder
- space pirate treasure map
- space planula
- space trooper helmet
- space wine
- spaghetti breakfast
- spandex anniversary shorts
- spant egg casing
- spant spear
- spare battery
- sparkling orb
- sparkly engagement ring
- spearfish fishing spear
- special edition Batfellow comic
- spider leg
- spinal-fluid-covered emotion chip
- spinning wheel
- spirit bell
- spooky cluster
- spooky clusterbomb
- spring shoes
- squamous polyp
- squirming Slime larva
- stained glass serape
- stained glass shards
- stained glass shield
- stained glass shiv
- stained glass spectacles
- stained glass stetson
- stained glass suspenders
- stained hard candy
- stale Cheer-E-Os
- stale cheer wine
- star pop
- status cymbal
- steamed oyster
- steaming evil
- steel drivin' hammer
- steel knuckles
- stench cluster
- stench clusterbomb
- stick of firewood
- sticky sword blade
- still grill
- still-beating spleen
- stinking agaricus
- stinkwater
- stinky cheese eye
- stinky cheese sword
- stinky fannypack
- strange stalagmite
- strange stone pyramid
- studded sealhide shield
- stuffed "L"
- stuffed club
- stuffed dinosaur
- stuffed kraken
- stuffed red and green pepper (stale)
- stuffed yam stinkbomb
- subscription cocoa dispenser
- sugar bunny
- sugarplum ration
- sundae ration
- super good fruit
- super-heated leaf
- super-sweet fish goo (spoiled)
- superduperheated metal
- superhero mask
- surprisingly capacious handbag
- suspicious package
- suspicious stocking
- suspicious-looking fedora
- swamp haunch
- sweat-ade
- sweaty balsam
- sweet nutcracker
- sweet party mix
- sweet potato o' mine
- sweet potato punch
- sweet tooth
- sweetened reindeer fat
- synthetic rock
- tabletop candy dispenser
- talisman of Seshat
- talkative skull
- talking spade
- teacher's pen
- temperance whiskey
- temporary X tattoos
- tempura green and red bean
- terra cotta tambourine
- terra cotta tidbits
- terra cotta tie tack
- terra cotta tongs
- terra cotta train
- terra cotta trousers
- terra cotta truss
- terra panna cotta
- testy toolbox
- thanksgiving bomb
- the Archwizard's briefs
- the Crymbich Manuscript
- the Crymbich Manuscript (used)
- the Ley Incursion's waist
- thermos of "whiskey"
- thick walrus blubber
- thicksilver ring
- thicksilver spurs
- third ear
- thriftshop coupon
- ticksilver ring
- ticksilver spurs
- tied-up flaming leaflet
- tied-up flaming monstera
- tied-up leaviathan
- time helmet
- time sword
- time trousers
- tin drum
- tin foil
- tin rations
- tin roof (rusted)
- tin tam
- tin thermos of chai
- tinsel fin
- tinsel orb
- tiny baby scorpion
- tiny bomb
- tiny consolation ribbon
- tiny die-cast Father Crimborg
- tiny die-cast Swiss hen
- tiny die-cast arc-welding Elfborg
- tiny die-cast golden ring
- tiny die-cast killing bird
- tiny glowing red nose
- tiny handful of mixed nuts
- tiny plastic Abuela Crimbo
- tiny plastic Abuela's cottage
- tiny plastic Armory
- tiny plastic Bar
- tiny plastic Café Elf
- tiny plastic Cafe
- tiny plastic Cheer Core
- tiny plastic Crimbo caroler
- tiny plastic Crimbo cheer
- tiny plastic Dolph Bossin
- tiny plastic Factory
- tiny plastic Mer-kin baker
- tiny plastic Mirth
- tiny plastic Naughty Sorceress
- tiny plastic Penny
- tiny plastic Professor What
- tiny plastic The Silent Nightmare
- tiny plastic caboose
- tiny plastic chem lab
- tiny plastic coal car
- tiny plastic dining car
- tiny plastic dolphin "orphan"
- tiny plastic food lab
- tiny plastic four-shadowed mime
- tiny plastic golden gundam
- tiny plastic locomotive
- tiny plastic mime executive
- tiny plastic mime functionary
- tiny plastic mime scientist
- tiny plastic mime soldier
- tiny plastic multi-level marketer
- tiny plastic nog lab
- tiny plastic orphan
- tiny plastic passenger car
- tiny plastic primary lab
- tiny plastic reindeer
- tiny plastic sea elf
- tiny plastic spoiler
- tiny plastic sword
- tiny plastic wild beaver
- tiny plastic yuleviathan
- tiny stillsuit
- tonic o' Banderas
- tooth cap
- toothy trousers
- toxic mop
- toxo
- toy Crimbot mega face
- toy Crimbot power glove
- toy Crimbot rocket legs
- toy Crimbot super fist
- toy sixgun
- traditional Crimbo cookie
- train whistle
- training scroll: Shattering Punch
- trampled ticket stub
- transparent nog
- trench lighter
- trick coin
- tropical Crimbo pressie
- trusty torch
- tryptophan dart
- twice-haunted screwdriver
- twitching space egg
- twitching time capsule
- twitching trigger finger
- two meat muck
- ultimate wad
- ultra-soft ferns
- ultracalcium
- unbreakable umbrella
- uncanny desk bell
- uncapped blue lava bottle
- uncapped green lava bottle
- uncapped red lava bottle
- undamaged Unbreakable Umbrella
- undrilled cosmic bowling ball
- unearthed volcanic meteoroid
- unemployed hunchbacked minion
- unfinished fruitcake
- unfinished ice sculpture
- unfinished pleasure
- uniclops egg
- universal biscuit
- unoccupied sheep suit
- unopened Bird-a-Day calendar
- unopened diabolic pizza cube box
- unopened tiny stillsuit
- unpowered Robortender
- unremarkable duffel bag
- unwound cymbal-playing monkey
- unwound mechanical songbird
- unwrapped knock-off retro superhero cape
- vampagne
- vampire glitter
- vampyric cloake
- vampyric cloake pattern
- van key
- vanilla-frosted king cake
- velour valise
- velour vambraces
- velour vaqueros
- velour veil
- velour veneer
- velour viscometer
- velour voulge
- vengeful spirit
- very small red dress
- vesper
- vial of humanoid growth hormone
- vicious spiked collar
- villainous scythe
- vintage smart drink
- virgin jello shot
- vitamin G pill
- vodka stinger
- void burger
- void lager
- void shard
- void stone
- voodoo doll
- voter registration form
- votive of confidence
- wad of Crovacite
- wad of spider silk
- waders
- waffle
- warbear LP-ROM burner
- warbear auto-anvil
- warbear badge
- warbear battle greaves
- warbear bearserker greaves
- warbear black box
- warbear breakfast machine
- warbear breakfast machine assembler
- warbear ceremonial party pants
- warbear chemistry lab
- warbear dress bracers
- warbear dress greaves
- warbear dress helmet
- warbear drone assembler
- warbear electric long johns
- warbear electric warscarf
- warbear electro-spiked helm
- warbear empathy chip (used)
- warbear fancy fedora
- warbear feathered fedora
- warbear fleece-lined long johns
- warbear fleece-lined warscarf
- warbear goggles
- warbear gyrocopter
- warbear heated ushanka
- warbear high festival pants
- warbear high-efficiency still
- warbear hoverbelt
- warbear laser bowtie
- warbear lined ushanka
- warbear long johns
- warbear nuclear bowtie
- warbear officer greaves
- warbear officer requisition box
- warbear party pants
- warbear plain fedora
- warbear plain helm
- warbear plain ushanka
- warbear plasma bowtie
- warbear polarized goggles
- warbear requisition box
- warbear snowblindness goggles
- warbear soda machine
- warbear spiked helm
- warbear trouser fragment
- warbear warscarf
- wardrobe-o-matic
- warehouse key
- warm fur
- water balloon
- water log
- waterlogged cloth
- waterlogged leather
- waterlogged metal
- waterlogged stuffing
- waterlogged wood
- watermelon
- watermelon seed
- wax banana
- wax lips
- weathered barrel
- webbed comic mask
- wedge of gray cheese
- weedy skirt
- western-style skinning knife
- wet tack
- whale cerebrospinal fluid
- whalecake
- whalegun
- whalesteak
- whet stone
- whiskey squeeze
- white Crimbo ball
- white Dreadsylvanian
- white arm towel
- white money bag
- white-label gin
- wicker clicker
- wicker kickers
- wicker knickers
- wicker slicker
- wicker sticker
- wicker ticker
- wickerbits
- wicksilver ring
- windicle
- witch's bra
- wizard action figure
- wolf whistle
- wolfskull mask
- worksite credentials
- wormwood stick
- wormwood wedding ring
- wrapped candy cane sword cane
- wrapping paper
- writhing drippy candy bar
- wrought-iron flakes
- wrought-iron whisk
- wrought-iron wig
- wrought-iron winch crank
- xo-skeleton-in-a-box
- yam
- yam and swiss
- yam battery
- yam burrito
- yam martini
- yam mayo
- yam slider
- yellow glowstick
- yellow puck
- yellow puck with a bow on it
- yellow rocket
- yellow seashell
- yellow traffic cone
- yield shield
- yule grog
- yule gruel
- yule hatchet
- yule pup
- yuletide troll chrysalis
- zombie accordion
- zombie mariachi hat
- zombie mariachi pants
- zombie monkey necklace