In their foolhardy quest to collect every item, this player comes 3,437 short.

• Franken Stein
• "DEBBIE" tattoo kit
• "Humorous" T-shirt
• "Remember the Trees" Shirt
• "honey" dipper
• 'Villa' document
• 1 Meat
• 1,970 carat gold
• 1.21 jigawatts
• 1/6th Pound Cake
• 100-Watt bulb
• 17-ball
• 18-picohertz resonator crystal
• 2002 Mr. Store Catalog
• 5-Alarm Saucepan
• 64067 scroll
• 99.44% pure math
• A Beginner's Guide to Charming Snakes
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 1
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 2
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 3
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 4
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 5
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 6
• A Guide to Burning Leaves
• A Guide to Safari
• Acqua Del Piatto Merlot
• Acque Luride Grezze Cabernet
• Admiral's hat
• Adventurer's Kit
• Aerheads
• Agent Mauve
• Aggressive Carrot
• Alexy sauce
• Alice's Army Foil Alchemist
• Alice's Army Foil Bowman
• Alice's Army Foil Cleric
• Alice's Army Foil Coward
• Alice's Army Foil Dervish
• Alice's Army Foil Guard
• Alice's Army Foil Halberder
• Alice's Army Foil Hammerman
• Alice's Army Foil Horseman
• Alice's Army Foil Lanceman
• Alice's Army Foil Mad Bomber
• Alice's Army Foil Martyr
• Alice's Army Foil Ninja
• Alice's Army Foil Nurse
• Alice's Army Foil Page
• Alice's Army Foil Shieldmaiden
• Alice's Army Foil Sniper
• Alice's Army Foil Spearsman
• Alice's Army Foil Swordsman
• Alice's Army Foil Wallman
• Alice's Army Foil tattoo
• Alice's Army booster box
• Anniversary Miniature Sword & Martini Guy
• Annual Ascot
• Antagonistic Snowman Kit
• Apathargic Bandersnatch
• Apriling band helmet
• Arr, M80
• Arrrmetia trading card
• Artist's Butterknife of Regret
• Artist's Crème Brulée Torch of Fury
• Artist's Spatula of Despair
• Ascension Souvenir T-Shirt
• Asdon Martin keyfob (on ring)
• Ass-Stompers of Violence
• Atomic Pop
• Ax of L'rose
• BACON
• BOOtonniere
• BRICKO airship
• BRICKO bat
• BRICKO cathedral
• BRICKO elephant
• BRICKO gargantuchicken
• BRICKO octopus
• BRICKO ooze
• BRICKO oyster
• BRICKO turtle
• BRICKO vacuum cleaner
• BUBBLE GUM
• Bag o' Tricks
• Bal-musette accordion
• Banfoy's Boutique Order Form
• Bastille Battalion Fondue Trophy
• Bastille Battalion cheese wheel
• Bastille Battalion control rig
• Bastille Battalion control rig crate
• Bastille Battalion control rig loaner voucher
• Bastille Battalion tattoo kit
• Batfellow comic
• Beach Comb
• Beach Comb Box
• Bee's Knees
• Belt of Loathing
• Benetton's Medley of Diversity
• Better Shrooms and Gardens catalog
• Bettie page
• Bigger Bugfinder Blade
• Bird-a-Day calendar
• BittyCar MeatCar
• Bjorn's Hammer
• Black Angus blackburger
• Black Bart's Booty
• Black and White Apron Enrollment Form
• Bloodbath
• Boletus Broletus mushroom
• Book of Old-Timey Carols
• Booke of Vampyric Knowledge
• Boosty Juice
• Boris's Helm
• Boris's Helm (askew)
• Boris's beer
• Boris's bread
• Boss Drops
• Bowl of Infinite Jelly
• Bowlet
• Boxing Day care package
• Brand of Violence
• Brandonian footlocker key
• Breathetastic™ Premium Canned Air
• Breathitin™
• Brimstone Beret
• Brimstone Bludgeon
• Brimstone Boxers
• Brimstone Bracelet
• Brimstone Brooch
• Brimstone Bunker
• Brogre brolo shirt
• Brogre brorts
• Brogre bucket hat
• Buddy Bjorn
• Bugfinder Blade
• Build-a-City Gingerbread kit
• Bulky Buddy Box
• Bustle Hustler
• Buttery Boy
• Byte
• CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 1)
• CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 2)
• CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 3)
• CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 4)
• CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 5)
• Cajun accordion
• Calzone of Legend
• Camp Scout backpack
• Can of Spaghetto
• Cargo Cultist Shorts
• Carol of the Bulls
• Carol of the Bulls (used)
• Carol of the Hells
• Carol of the Hells (used)
• Carol of the Thrills
• Carol of the Thrills (used)
• Cat-Herding Prod
• Celsius 233
• Cerebral Cloche
• Cerebral Crossbow
• Cerebral Culottes
• Champagne Shimmy
• Charleston shoes
• Chateau Mantegna room key
• Chef Boy, R&D's business card
• Cheshire Bitten
• Chester's Aquarius medallion
• Chester's bag of candy
• Chester's muscle shirt
• ChibiBuddy™ (off)
• Children's Meal of the Damned
• Chori Zo trading card
• Christmas ham
• Chroner
• Chroner cross
• Chroner trigger
• Cincho de Mayo
• Cinco Mayo Lager
• Clan Carnival Game
• Clan Floundry
• Clan VIP Lounge invitation
• Clan VIP Lounge key
• Clan hot dog stand
• Clan looking glass
• Clan pool table
• Clan shower
• Clan speakeasy
• Climate Colada
• Cocktails of the Age of Sail
• Codex of Capsaicin Conjuration
• Cold Fang
• Cold One
• Cold Stone of Hatred
• Colera Peste Nebbiolo
• Comet Drop
• Comma Chameleon egg
• Comprehensive Cartographic Compendium
• Congressional Medal of Insanity
• Conspiracy™ mascara
• Convincing People You Can See The Future
• Counterclockwise Watch
• Covert Ops for Kids
• Crepes a la Lune
• Crimbeau de toilette
• Crimbo Carol tattoo kit
• Crimbo Cheer tattoo kit
• Crimbo Commerce tattoo kit
• Crimbo P. R. E. S. S. I. E.
• Crimbo candle
• Crimbo dog sweater
• Crimbo hat
• Crimbo pants
• Crimbo paste
• Crimbo pressie
• Crimbo sapling
• Crimbo smile
• Crimbo stocking
• Crimbo stockings
• Crimbo sword
• Crimbo tattoo kit
• Crimbojito
• Crimbolex watch
• Crimbomination Contraption
• Crimbot ROM: Mathematical Precision
• Crimbot ROM: Rapid Prototyping
• Crimbot ROM: Ruthless Efficiency
• Crimbot schematic: Big Wheel
• Crimbot schematic: Bit Masher
• Crimbot schematic: Bug Zapper
• Crimbot schematic: Camera Claw
• Crimbot schematic: Candle Lighter
• Crimbot schematic: Cold Shoulder
• Crimbot schematic: Crab Core
• Crimbot schematic: Cyclopean Torso
• Crimbot schematic: Data Analyzer
• Crimbot schematic: Dynamo Head
• Crimbot schematic: Grease / Regular Gun
• Crimbot schematic: Grease Gun
• Crimbot schematic: Gun Face
• Crimbot schematic: Gun Legs
• Crimbot schematic: Heavy Treads
• Crimbot schematic: High-Speed Fan
• Crimbot schematic: Hoverjack
• Crimbot schematic: Lamp Filler
• Crimbot schematic: Maxi-Mag Lite
• Crimbot schematic: Mobile Girder
• Crimbot schematic: Nerding Module
• Crimbot schematic: Power Stapler
• Crimbot schematic: Really Big Head
• Crimbot schematic: Refrigerator Chassis
• Crimbot schematic: Ribbon Manipulator
• Crimbot schematic: Rocket Skirt
• Crimbot schematic: Sim-Simian Feet
• Crimbot schematic: Snow Blower
• Crimbot schematic: Swiss Arm
• Crimbot schematic: Tripod Legs
• Crimbot schematic: Wrecking Ball
• Crimbough
• Crimboysters Rockefeller
• Crimbuccaneer bombjacket
• Crimbuccaneer invasion map
• Crimbuccaneer lantern
• Crimbuccaneer runebone
• Crimbuccaneer squirtblunderbuss
• Crimbuccaneer tattoo gift certificate
• Crimbylow-rise jeans
• Crown of Thrones
• DIY protonic accelerator kit
• DNOTC Box
• Dallas Dynasty Falcon Crest shield
• Dark Jill-O-Lantern
• Dark Jill-of-All-Trades
• Das Überkühlraum trading card
• Daylight Shavings Helmet
• Deactivated MiniMechaElf
• Dear Past Self Package
• Deck of Every Card
• Deep Dish of Legend
• Devil's Elbow Hot Sauce
• Diamond HP-35 Calculator
• Dinsey Maintenance Manual
• Dinsey tattoo kit
• Dinsey's brain
• Dinsey's pants
• Dinsey's pizza cutter
• Dinsey's radar dish
• Discontent™ Winter Garden Catalog
• Discount Telescope Warehouse gift certificate
• Distant Woods Getaway Brochure
• Doc Clock's thyme cocktail
• Doc Galaktik's Invigorating Tonic
• Doc's Medical-Grade Wine
• Doc's Miracle Cure
• Doc's Special Reserve Wine
• Doll Moll violin case
• Dolph Bossin's Crimbo hat
• Dolph Bossin's charity note
• Dragonscale breastplate
• Drapes-You-Regally
• Dreadsylvanian clockwork key
• Dreadsylvanian cold-fashioned
• Dreadsylvanian dank and stormy
• Dreadsylvanian grimlet
• Dreadsylvanian hemlock
• Dreadsylvanian hot toddy
• Dreadsylvanian shepherd's pie
• Dreadsylvanian sleaze pocket
• Dreadsylvanian slithery nipple
• Dreadsylvanian stew
• Drip Institute petri dish
• Drip harness
• Driplet
• Dripwood slab
• Drunk Uncles holo-record
• Drunkula's bell
• Drunkula's ring of haze
• Drunkula's silky pants
• Drunkula's wineglass
• Duke Vampire's regal cloak
• Dungeon Fist gauntlet
• Dweebisol™ inhaler
• Dyspepsi-Cola-issue canteen
• EMD holo-record
• Earring of Fire
• Easter eggnog
• Ed the Undying exhibit crate
• El Vibrato Megadrone
• El Vibrato drone
• El Vibrato punchcard (104 holes)
• El Vibrato punchcard (115 holes)
• El Vibrato trapezoid
• Elvish sunglasses
• Emblem of Ak'gyxoth
• Essence of Annoyance
• Essence of Bear
• Everfull Dart Holster
• Extrovermectin™
• Fabiotion
• Familiar-Gro™ Terrarium
• FantasyRealm guest pass
• FantasyRealm key
• FantasyRealm mead
• FantasyRealm membership packet
• FantasyRealm tattoo kit
• FantasyRealm turkey leg
• Ferita Del Petto Zinfandel
• Field Guide to Skeletal Anatomy
• Finnish Fish
• First Post shirt - Cir Senam
• First Post shirt package
• Flag by the Foot™
• Flan in the Moon
• Fleshazole™
• Flivver
• Fly-By-Knight Heraldry form
• Folder Holder
• Former Sheriff Dan's tin star
• Fourth of May Cosplay Saber
• Fourth of May Cosplay Saber kit
• Frank Gorshin trophy
• French-Transylvanian Dictionary
• Frosty's arm
• Frosty's iceball
• Frown Exerciser
• Fuzzy Slippers of Hatred
• Gabarbar
• Game Grid ticket
• Game Grid valued membership card
• GameInformPowerDailyPro subscription card
• Garland of Greatness
• Gathered Meat-Clip
• Gazpacho's Glacial Grimoire
• Gene Tonic: Beast
• Gene Tonic: Constellation
• Gene Tonic: Construct
• Gene Tonic: Demon
• Gene Tonic: Dude
• Gene Tonic: Elemental
• Gene Tonic: Elf
• Gene Tonic: Fish
• Gene Tonic: Goblin
• Gene Tonic: Hippy
• Gene Tonic: Hobo
• Gene Tonic: Horror
• Gene Tonic: Insect
• Gene Tonic: Mer-kin
• Gene Tonic: Orc
• Gene Tonic: Penguin
• Gene Tonic: Pirate
• Gene Tonic: Plant
• Gene Tonic: Slime
• Gene Tonic: Undead
• Gene Tonic: Weird
• General Assembly Module
• Ghiaccio Colada
• Ghost Pinching Quarterly
• Gin Mint
• Ginsu™
• Girdle of Hatred
• Gnollish casserole dish
• God Lobster Egg
• Goggles of Loathing
• Golden HP-35 Calculator
• Golden Kokomo Resort Chip
• Golden Light
• Golden Mr. Accessory
• Golden Mr. Eh?
• Good 'n' Quiet
• Good 'n' Slimy
• Gordon Beer's Beer Garden Catalog
• Granny Tood's Thanksgarden Catalog
• Great Ball of Frozen Fire
• Great S-Cape
• Great Wolf's beastly trousers
• Great Wolf's lice
• Great Wolf's rocket launcher
• Greatest American Pants
• Gregarious Gregorian Smock
• Grey Guanon
• Grim Brothers' story book
• Grimacite Bock
• Grimacite gaiters
• Grimacite galoshes
• Grimacite garter
• Grimacite gasmask
• Grimacite gat
• Grimacite gauntlets
• Grimacite girdle
• Grimacite glaive
• Grimacite go-go boots
• Grimacite goggles
• Grimacite gorget
• Grimacite gown
• Grimacite greaves
• Grimacite guayabera
• Grumpy Bumpkin's Pumpkin Seed Catalog
• Gummi-Memory
• Guzzlr application
• Guzzlr hat
• Guzzlr pants
• Guzzlr shoes
• Guzzlr souvenir stein
• Guzzlr tablet
• Guzzlr tattoo kit
• Guzzlrbuck
• Gygaxian Libram
• Gyromitra Dynomita mushroom
• HOA citation pad
• HOA regulation book
• HOA zombie eyes
• HP-35 Calculator
• Handsome Devil
• Hanukkimbo dreidl
• Hat O' Nine Tails
• Hatorade
• Hell and How I Bent It
• Helps-You-Sleep
• Helvella Haemophilia mushroom
• Herring Wallbanger
• Himalayan Hidalgo sauce
• History's Most Offensive Jokes, Vol. IX
• Hodgman's almanac
• Hodgman's blanket
• Hodgman's disgusting technicolor overcoat
• Hodgman's garbage sticker
• Hodgman's harmonica
• Hodgman's imaginary hamster
• Hodgman's journal #1: The Lean Times
• Hodgman's journal #2: Entrepreneurythmics
• Hodgman's journal #3: Pumping Tin
• Hodgman's journal #4: View From The Big Top
• Hodgman's lucky sock
• Hodgman's porkpie hat
• Hodgman's whackin' stick
• Holiday Hal's Happy-Time Fun Book!
• Holiday Multitasking
• Homebodyl™
• Horsery contract
• Hot Socks
• How To Get Bigger Without Really Trying
• How to Hold a Grudge
• How to Lose Friends and Attract Snakes
• How to Tolerate Jerks
• Hoyle's Guide to Reindeer Games
• Hoyle's Guide to Reindeer Games (used)
• Huggler Radio
• Humpty Dumplings
• Idol of Ak'gyxoth
• Illustrated Mating Rituals of the Gallapagos
• Inigo's Incantation of Inspiration
• Inndya trading card
• Instant Karma
• Ish Kabibble
• Island Drinkin', a Tiki Mixology Odyssey
• Item #13
• Iunion Crown
• Jackass Plumber home game
• January's Garbage Tote
• January's Garbage Tote (unopened)
• Jarlsberg's pan
• Jarlsberg's pan (Cosmic portal mode)
• Jarlsberg's vegetable soup
• Jawmaster 2000™
• Jeans of Loathing
• Jekyllin hide belt
• Jeppson's Malort
• Jerks' Health™ Magazine
• Jick's autograph
• Jick-o-User
• Jodhpurs of Violence
• Juju Mojo Mask
• June cleaver
• Junior Adventurer's kit
• Junior Adventurer's merit badge
• Jurassic Parka
• Kentucky-fried meat crossbow
• Kentucky-fried meat staff
• Kevlar balloon
• Kitty the Zmobie Basher trading card
• Knob Göblin lòve potion
• Knob Goblin stink bomb
• Knob stir-fry
• Knoll stir-fry
• KoL Con 12-gauge
• KoL Con 3-D Glasses
• KoL Con 8-Bit power bracelet
• KoL Con Cinco Piñata Bat
• KoL Con IV Pole
• KoL Con Six Pack
• KoL Con X Bingo Card
• KoL Con X Treasure Map
• KoLHS Pep Squad Box
• Kokomo Resort Brand Suntan Oil
• Kokomo Resort Order Pad
• Kokomo Resort Pass
• Kramco Industries packing carton
• Kramco Sausage-o-Matic™
• Krampus Horn
• Kremlin's Greatest Briefcase
• LARP carp
• LI-11 Motor Pool voucher
• LIDAR candle
• LOLmec statuette
• LOV Echinacea Bouquet
• LT&T tattoo kit
• LT&T telegraph office deed
• Lava Miner's Daughter
• LavaCo™ Lamp housing
• Lavalos's shell
• Law of Averages
• Lazenby's Life Lesson
• Lazybones™ recliner
• Leapin' Trousers
• Left-Hand Man action figure
• Lemonade-235
• Lens of Hatred
• Lens of Violence
• Libram of BRICKOs
• Libram of Candy Heart Summoning
• Libram of Divine Favors
• Libram of Love Songs
• Libram of Pulled Taffy
• Libram of Resolutions
• License To Kill
• License to Chill
• Lil' Doctor™ bag
• Little Geneticist DNA-Splicing Lab
• Living to Drink, Drinking to Live
• Loathing Legion abacus
• Loathing Legion can opener
• Loathing Legion chainsaw
• Loathing Legion corkscrew
• Loathing Legion defibrillator
• Loathing Legion double prism
• Loathing Legion electric knife
• Loathing Legion flamethrower
• Loathing Legion hammer
• Loathing Legion helicopter
• Loathing Legion jackhammer
• Loathing Legion kitchen sink
• Loathing Legion knife
• Loathing Legion many-purpose hook
• Loathing Legion moondial
• Loathing Legion necktie
• Loathing Legion pizza stone
• Loathing Legion rollerblades
• Loathing Legion tape measure
• Loathing Legion tattoo needle
• Loathing Legion universal screwdriver
• Lobster qua Grill
• Lolsipop
• Love Potions and the Wizards who Mix Them
• Lucky Lindy
• Lucky Strikes holo-record
• Lump-Stacking for Beginners
• LyleCo Contractor's Manual
• LyleCo premium magnifying glass
• LyleCo premium pickaxe
• LyleCo premium rope
• MAHI fez
• MSG
• Mafia bow tie
• Mafia stogie
• Mafia violin case
• Maiali Sifilitici Pinot Noir
• Make-Your-Own-Vampire-Fangs kit
• Mallomarbles
• Manual of Lock Picking
• Manual of Numberology
• Manual of Transcendent Olfaction
• Map to Kokomo
• March hat
• Mark I Steam-Hat
• Mark II Steam-Hat
• Mark III Steam-Hat
• Mark IV Steam-Hat
• Martialest Arts trophy
• Master Thief's utility belt
• MayDay™ contract
• Mayam Calendar
• Mayam spinach
• Mayflower bouquet
• Mayodiol
• Mayor Ghost's cloak
• Mayor Ghost's gavel
• Mayor Ghost's khakis
• Mayor Ghost's sash
• Mayor Ghost's scissors
• Mayor Ghost's toupee
• Mayostat
• Mayozapine
• McPhee's Grimoire of Hilarious Object Summoning
• Meat Butler
• Meat maid
• Meatcleaver
• Memories of Beanslinging
• Memories of Cow Punching
• Memories of Snake Oiling
• Memory Disk, Alpha
• Mer-kin cookiestove
• Mer-kin darkbook
• Mer-kin dragnet
• Mer-kin eyedrops
• Mer-kin facecowl
• Mer-kin gladiator mask
• Mer-kin gladiator tailpiece
• Mer-kin hallpass
• Mer-kin headguard
• Mer-kin lunchbox
• Mer-kin paste
• Mer-kin rocksalt
• Mer-kin saltmint
• Mer-kin saltsquid
• Mer-kin stopwatch
• Mer-kin switchblade
• Mer-kin thighguard
• Mer-kin waistrope
• Merc Core Field Manual: Intimidation Techniques
• Merc Core Field Manual: Sanity Maintenance
• Merc Core challenge coin
• Merc Core deployment orders
• Meteoid ice beam
• Mini-Crimbot crate
• MiniMechaElf Laser Punch Missile Launcher
• Mint Salton Pepper's Peppermint Seed Catalog
• Mint Yulep
• Mint-in-box Moonthril Circlet
• Mint-in-box Moonthril Cuirass
• Mint-in-box Moonthril Flamberge
• Mint-in-box Moonthril Greaves
• Mint-in-box Moonthril Longbow
• Mjolnir Jr.
• Mob Penguin protection contract
• Monster Manuel
• Moonthril Schnapps
• Moping Artistic Goth Kid
• Morbidda trading card
• Mortimer's nostrum
• Mountain Stream Code Black Alert
• Mountain Stream gastrique
• Mr. Accessory
• Mr. Accessory Jr.
• Mr. Balloon
• Mr. Burnsger
• Mr. Cheeng's spectacles
• Mr. Container
• Mr. Eh?
• Mr. Exploiter
• Mr. Shirt
• Mt. Noob Pale Ale
• Mu
• Murgatroyd diode
• My Life of Crime, a Memoir
• My Own Pen Pal kit
• Mylar balloon
• Mysterious Black Box
• Mysterious Blue Box
• Mysterious Green Box
• Mysterious Island iced tea
• Mysterious Red Box
• Mysterious Stranger
• N. O. Beer
• ND
• Nayztameetjoo trading card
• Never Don't Stop Not Striving
• Neverending Party invitation envelope
• New Cloaca-Cola
• New-You Club Membership Form
• Newbiesport™ backpack
• No Hats as Art
• Nog-on-the-Cob
• Non-Euclidean Finance
• Novelty Belt Buckle of Violence
• Now You're Cooking With Grease
• Official Council Aide Pin
• Official Seal of Dreadsylvania
• Ol' Scratch's stove door
• Olympic-sized Clan crate
• Omphalotus Omphaloskepsis mushroom
• Oopsie IPA
• Operation Patriot Shield
• Order of the Green Thumb Order Form
• Oscus's neverending soda
• Otorian Battle Scar
• Our Daily Candles™ order form
• PARTY HARD T-shirt
• Pack of Alice's Army Foil Cards
• Pack of Every Card
• Pain Dip
• Pan-Dimensional Gargle Blaster
• Panda outfit
• Pantaloons of Hatred
• Pantsgiving
• Para-Pop
• Party Planning on a Budget
• Party Tattoo™ gift certificate
• Pasta Spoon of Peril
• Pastaco shell
• Peek-a-Boo!
• Pener's drumstick
• Peppermint Pip Packet
• Periodical Paintbrush
• Pete & Jackie's Dragon Tooth Emporium Catalog
• Pete's rich ricotta
• Pete's wiley whey bar
• Petite Paintbrush
• Phonus Balonus
• Pigsticker of Violence
• PirateRealm guest pass
• PirateRealm membership packet
• PirateRealm party hat
• Pizza of Legend
• Platinum HP-35 Calculator
• Platinum Yendorian Express Card
• PlexiPips
• Pneumo bar
• Pocket Guide to Mild Evil
• Pocket Meteor Guide
• Pocket Professor memory chip
• Pocket Square of Loathing
• Poison Oak trading card
• Pokéfam Guide to Capturing All of Them
• Pop Art: a Guide
• Power-Guy 2000 holo-record
• Powerful Glove
• Prelude of Precision
• Princess Rutabaga trading card
• Professor of Spelunkology
• Protects-Your-Junk
• Psycho From The Heat
• Puffstone cigar
• Punching Potion
• Quartet of Flare Masters Jacket
• Quiets-Your-Steps
• Rümpelstiltz
• ROM of Optimality
• Racisto Ruidoso
• Rad-B-Gone (1 lb.)
• Rad-Pro (1 oz.)
• Radio Free Baseball Cap
• Radio Free Foil
• Radio Free Jersey
• Radio Free Pants
• Radio KoL Antenna Ball
• Radio KoL Bottle Opener
• Radio KoL Coffee Mug
• Radio KoL Flashlight
• Radio KoL Keychain
• Radio KoL Maracas
• Radio KoL Patch
• Raggedy Hippy doll
• Rainbow Jello Mould
• Rainbow's Gravity
• Ralph IX cognac
• Really Expensive Jewelry and You
• Recipe of Before Yore: Boris's beer
• Recipe of Before Yore: Pete's wily whey bar
• Recipe of Before Yore: St. Pete's sneaky smoothie
• Recipe of Before Yore: honey bun of Boris
• Recipe of Before Yore: roasted vegetable of J.
• Red Fox glove
• Red Roger tattoo kit
• Red Roger's red left hand
• Red Roger's red right foot
• Red Roger's red right hand
• Red Roger's skull
• Red Russian
• Retenez L'Herbe Paté
• Rethinking Candy
• Retrospecs
• Retrospecs try-at-home kit
• Riker's Search History
• Rock Garden Guide
• Rock and Roll Legend
• Rogue Windmill Rouge
• Roman Candelabra
• Roo trading card
• Royal scepter
• S.A.V.E. flyer
• S.I.T. Course Completion Certificate
• S.I.T. Course Voucher
• S.L.E.I.G.H.B.E.L.L.S.
• S.S. Ticket
• STYX deodorant body spray
• Saison du Lune
• SalesCo sample kit
• Salsa Libre
• Sangria de Menthe
• Sasq™ watch
• Satan hat
• Scandalously Skimpy Bikini
• Scepter of Loathing
• Schmalz's First Prize Beer
• School of Hard Knocks Diploma
• Schrödinger's thermos
• Scratch 'n' Sniff Sticker Tome
• Scratch-and-Sniff Guide to Dinseylandfill
• Scurvy and Sobriety Prevention
• Sealed TakerSpace letter of Marque
• Seasonal Beret
• Secrets of the Master Egg Hunters
• Senior LAAAAME merit badge
• Sept-Ember Censer
• Serenity trading card
• Seven Loco
• Shantix™
• Shore Inc. Ship Trip Scrip
• Shrieking Weasel holo-record
• Shrub's Premium Baked Beans
• Silly Little Love Song
• Silver HP-35 Calculator
• Single Alice's Army Foil
• Sister Accessory
• Site Alpha ID badge
• Size XI Wizard's Robe
• Sketcherz™
• Skipper's accordion
• Skullhead's Screw
• Slippery Knob
• Sloppy Jalopy
• Sloppy Seconds Diner Employee Handbook
• Small Medium
• Snarf berry
• Sneaky Pete's leather jacket
• Sneaky Pete's leather jacket (collar popped)
• Snow Suit
• Sockdollager
• Solstice Shield
• Sombrero De Vida
• SongBoom™ BoomBox
• SongBoom™ BoomBox Box
• Sorcerers of the Shore Grimoire
• Source terminal
• Source terminal CRAM chip
• Source terminal DRAM chip
• Source terminal GRAM chip
• Source terminal PRAM chip
• Source terminal file: damage.enh
• Source terminal file: turbo.edu
• Sourfinger
• Southern yam
• Sp'n-Zor's Grimoire of "Tasteful" Gifts
• Space Baby bawbaw
• Space Pirate Astrogation Handbook
• Space Trip safety headphones
• Spacegate Initiative tattoo unit
• Spacegate access badge
• Spacegate diplomat's insignia
• Spacegate emergency disintegrator
• Spacegate military insignia
• Spacegate scientist's insignia
• Spaghetti with Moonballs
• Spasmi Dolorosi Del Rene Champagne
• Special™ Sauce
• Spellbook: Drescher's Annoying Noise
• Spellbook: Singer's Faithful Ocelot
• Spellbook: Walberg's Dim Bulb
• Spelunker of Fortune
• Spelunker's Guild prize sack
• Spelunker's fedora
• Spelunker's khakis
• Spelunker's whip
• SpinMaster™ lathe
• Spirit of Christmas
• Spirit of Easter
• Spirit of St. Patrick's Day
• Spirit of Thanksgiving
• Spirit of Veteran's Day
• Spooky Putty ball
• Spooky Putty leotard
• Spooky Putty mitre
• Spooky Putty monster
• Spooky Putty sheet
• Spooky Putty snake
• Spring Break Beach "swimsuit"
• Spring Break Beach tattoo coupon
• St. Pete's sneaky smoothie
• Stabonic scroll
• Staff of Blood and Pudding
• Staff of Frozen Lard
• Staff of Holiday Sensations
• Staff of Kitchen Royalty
• Staff of Queso Escusado
• Staff of Simmering Hatred
• Staff of the Black Kettle
• Staff of the Cozy Fish
• Staff of the Deepest Freeze
• Staff of the Electric Range
• Staff of the Grand Flambé
• Staff of the Grease Trap
• Staff of the Greasefire
• Staff of the Kitchen Floor
• Staff of the Midnight Snack
• Staff of the Peppermint Twist
• Staff of the Roaring Hearth
• Staff of the Scummy Sink
• Staff of the Short Order Cook
• Staff of the Soupbone
• Staff of the Teapot Tempest
• Staff of the Walk-In Freezer
• Staff of the Well-Tempered Cauldron
• Staff of the Woodfire
• Star Spawn
• Star of Bravery
• Steam Card: DemonStar (#1)
• Steam Card: DemonStar (#3)
• Steam Card: Dungeon Fist (#2)
• Steam Card: Dungeon Fist (#3)
• Steam Card: Jackass Plumber (#2)
• Steam Card: Jackass Plumber (#3)
• Steam Card: Meteoid (#1)
• Steam Card: Meteoid (#2)
• Steam Card: Meteoid (#3)
• Steam Card: Space Trip (#1)
• Steam Card: Space Trip (#2)
• Steam Card: Space Trip (#3)
• Steamboat
• Stembridge sidearm
• Stemonitis Staticus mushroom
• Stick-Knife of Loathing
• Strong, Silent Type
• Stupid University Diploma
• Superdrifter holo-record
• Swedish massage fish
• Sword of Procedural Generation
• Taco Dan's Super Taco-Riffic Taco Sauce!
• TakerSpace letter of Marque
• Tales of Dread
• Tales of Spelunking
• Tales of Western Braggadoccio
• Talisman of Baio
• Talisman of Bakula
• Temporal Tempera Tube
• That 70s Cologne
• The Art of Slapfighting
• The Author's ink
• The Ballad of Richie Thingfinder
• The Big Book of Communism
• The Chill of the Wild
• The Cocktail Shaker
• The Confiscator's Grimoire
• The Crown of Ed the Undying
• The Emperor's new cookie
• The Encyclopedia of Fruit
• The Eye of the Thing in the Basement
• The Fingernail of the Thing in the Basement
• The Firegate Tapes
• The Ghoul King's ghoulottes
• The Gingerbread Vigilante's Handbook
• The Grand Poo-Bah trading card
• The Groose in the Hoose
• The Imploded World
• The Inquisitor's unidentifiable object
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 1
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 2
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 3
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 4
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 5
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 6
• The Kloop in the Coop
• The Necbromancer's Shorts
• The Necbromancer's Wizard Staff
• The Necbronomicon
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 1
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 2
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 3
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 4
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 5
• The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 6
• The Nose Knows, A Guide to Smells
• The Nuge's favorite crossbow
• The One Mood Ring
• The Pigs holo-record
• The Plumber's mushroom stew
• The Sagittarian's leisure pants
• The Smith's Tome
• The Snake trading card
• The Snitch's Manifesto
• The Spirit of Giving
• The Sword in the Steak
• The Thorax's Codex of Tormenting Plants
• The Western Look
• They'll Love You In Rhinestones
• Thinknerd T-Shirt
• Thinknerd's Grimoire of Geeky Gifts
• Third Eye
• Thor's Pliers
• Thorny Toad trading card
• Thwaitgold Illinigina illinoiensis model
• Thwaitgold bookworm statuette
• Thwaitgold chigger statuette
• Thwaitgold dragonfly statuette
• Thwaitgold masked hunter statuette
• Thwaitgold metabug statuette
• Thwaitgold nymph statuette
• Thwaitgold wheel bug statuette
• Tickle-Me Emilio
• Time Bandit Badge of Courage
• Time Bandit Time Towel
• Time Cape
• Time Cloak
• Time Juice
• Time Lord Badge of Honor
• Time Lord Participation Mug
• Time-Spinner
• To Build an Igloo
• Toddler-sized Dragon Costume
• Tome of Clip Art
• Tome of Rad Libs
• Tome of Snowcone Summoning
• Tome of Sugar Shummoning
• Too Cold to Hold: How to Be Cool - A Memoir
• Toot Oriole care package
• Totally Gay Claymore
• Trash, a Memoir
• Travoltan trousers
• Treads of Loathing
• Tremella Tarantella mushroom
• Trivial Avocations board game
• Truthsayer
• Twitching Television Tattoo
• Ultimate Mind Destroyer
• Ultra Mega Sour Ball
• Unagnimated Gnome
• Uncle Buck
• Uncle Crimbo's Sack
• Uncle Crimbo's hat
• Uncle Hobo's belt
• Uncle Hobo's epic beard
• Uncle Hobo's fingerless tinsel gloves
• Uncle Romulus
• Underworld acorn
• Underworld flail
• Underworld sapling
• Underworld truncheon
• Underworld trunk
• Unionize The Elves sign
• Universal Seasoning
• Unkillable Skeleton's restless leg
• Unkillable Skeleton's sawsword
• Unkillable Skeleton's shield
• Unmotivator: Crashed Meat Car
• Unmotivator: Crashed Orca
• Unmotivator: Success Warrior
• Unopened Eight Days a Week Pill Keeper
• Unspeakable Earring
• Uovo Marcio Shiraz
• V for Vivala mask
• Val-U Brand Every Bean Salad
• Vaso De Agua trading card
• Velougats™
• Venus flytrap
• Vial of jus de larmes
• Vivian's Vitamin
• Voluminous Radio Hat
• Voluminous Radio Pants
• Voluminous Radio Sneakers
• Wal-Mart "diamond" ring
• Wal-Mart nametag
• Wal-Mart overalls
• Wal-Mart snowglobe
• Wal-Mart tattoo kit
• Warehouse 23 bling
• Warehouse 23 crate
• Warms-Your-Tush
• Wart Dinsey: An Afterlife
• Wax Flask
• Western Slang Vol. 1: Violence
• Western Slang Vol. 2: Cooking
• Western Slang Vol. 3: Fraud
• White Dragon Fang
• Wickers bar
• Winifred's whistle
• Witchess Set
• Wolfman Nardz
• Wrotz
• X-32-F snowman crate
• Xi Receiver Unit
• Xiblaxian holo-bowtie
• Xiblaxian holo-schematic: residence cube
• Xiblaxian holo-schematic: space whiskey
• Xiblaxian holo-schematic: stealth cowl
• Xiblaxian holo-schematic: stealth trousers
• Xiblaxian holo-schematic: ultraburrito
• Xiblaxian holo-schematic: xeno-goggles
• Xiblaxian residence-cube
• Xiblaxian stealth cowl
• Xiblaxian stealth vest
• Xlyinia's notebook
• Yeg's Motel hand soap
• Yeg's Motel mouthwash
• Yeg's Motel pillow mint
• Yeg's Motel sewing kit
• Yeti Protest Sign
• Yolo™ chocolates
• Yorick
• Young Man's Cargo Load
• Young Man's Crew Sequester
• Yuleviathan necklace
• Zombo's empty eye
• Zu Mannkäse Dienen
• [glitch season reward name]
• [reuse me]
• a bug's lymph
• a cute angel
• a suspicious address
• abstraction: comprehension
• abstraction: joy
• abyssal battle plans
• acceptable mayolus
• actual blood sausage
• adobe abacus
• adobe abaya
• adobe adze
• adobe arsecover
• adobe ascot
• adobe assortment
• adobe ayam
• adobe brittle
• adventurer clone egg
• aerogel accordion
• aerogel akubra
• aerogel anvil
• aerogel apron
• aerogel ascot
• aerogel attache case
• aerosolized aerogel
• airplane charter: Conspiracy Island
• airplane charter: Dinseylandfill
• airplane charter: Spring Break Beach
• airplane charter: That 70s Volcano
• airplane charter: The Glaciest
• airplane tattoo
• alabaster bishop
• alabaster king
• alabaster knight
• alabaster pawn
• alabaster queen
• alabaster rook
• alien animal milk
• alien gemstone
• alien plant fibers
• alien plant pod
• alien plant sample
• alien rock sample
• alien toenails
• alien zoological sample
• all-purpose flower
• all-year sucker
• alpine watercolor set
• amphibious tophat
• anchor bomb
• ancient calendar
• ancient cursed foot locker
• ancient hot dog wrapper
• ancient redwood
• ancient turtle shell powder
• anemoney clip
• angel-food cake
• anger blaster
• angry inch
• anise-flavored venom
• ankleweights
• annealed drippy orb
• anniversary balloon
• anniversary gift box
• anniversary pewter cape
• ant antidepressant
• anti-burn cream
• anti-creep cream
• anti-freeze cream
• anti-goosebump cream
• anti-odor cream
• anti-pain cream
• antimatter wad
• antique nutcracker figurine
• antique tacklebox
• apathetic lizardman doll
• aquamariner's necklace
• aquaviolet jub-jub bird
• arcanoferric housing
• archaeologing shovel
• arrow'd heart balloon
• arse-a'fire elixir
• arse-shooting crossbow
• artisanal homebrew gift package
• artisanal homebrew sampler
• asbestos crossbow string
• asbestos meat stack
• asparagus stir-fry
• aspirin
• astral badger
• augmented El Vibrato drone
• august scepter
• auxiliary backbone
• avatar of the Unconscious Collective
• aviator goggles
• baby bark scorpion
• baby camelCalf
• baby chest mimic
• baby cuddlefish
• baby rigging snake
• babycakes
• backup camera
• backwoods banjo
• bacteria bisque
• bad penguin egg
• badger badge
• bag of Iunion stones
• bag of many confections
• bagged Cargo Cultist Shorts
• bagged stuffed "L"
• baked veggie ricotta casserole
• bakelite backpack
• bakelite badge
• bakelite belt
• bakelite bits
• bakelite bowl
• bakelite breeches
• bakelite brooch
• bakelite-covered bacon
• balanced antler
• balsa plank
• balsam barrel
• banana-frosted king cake
• baobab sap
• barnacle-encrusted sweater
• barskin tent
• bartender skull
• bartender-in-the-box
• bartender-skull-in-the-box
• basaltamander buckler
• basic meat crossbow
• basic meat fez
• basic meat foon
• basic meat helmet
• basic meat kilt
• basic meat pants
• basic meat skirt
• basic meat staff
• basic meat sword
• basking robin
• bastard baster
• bat wings
• battery-powered drill
• battoo kit
• bazooka cozy
• beach ball marble
• beach glass necklace
• beautiful rainbow
• beautiful soup
• beaver punch (cherry)
• beaver punch (papaya)
• beaver punch (peach)
• beet
• beggin' cologne
• bejazzled eyepatch
• bejeweled accordion strap
• bell-shaped Crimbo cookie
• belt of Ogrekind
• best joke ever
• big ol' trophy
• big stirring stick
• biker's hat
• bindle of joy
• birthday candle
• birthday party jellybean cheesecake
• bitter bowtie
• black belt
• black brandy
• black candygram
• black catseye marble
• black gallstone
• black lotus
• black slime glob
• blank note
• blank white card
• blood flower
• blood roll-up
• blood snowcone
• blood-faced volleyball
• blood-soaked sponge cake
• bloodstick
• bloody kiwitini
• blown-out speaker cone
• blue LavaCo Lamp™
• blue canary nightlight
• blue glowstick
• blue lava globs
• blue money bag
• blue plastic baby
• blue plate
• blue pumps
• blue rocket
• blue velvet cake
• blueberry muffin
• blueberry-frosted king cake
• bobble-hip hula elf doll
• bodyguard badge
• bodyslam
• bomb of unknown origin
• bone spurs
• bonsai tree
• book of facts
• boot flask
• boot plant
• booty chest charrrm bracelet
• booze mailing list
• bottle of Bloodweiser
• bottle of Cochon Noir
• bottle of Crème de Fugu
• bottle of Crimbognac
• bottle of Sanguiovese
• bottle of dark rhum
• bottle of extra-dark rhum
• bottle of extra-strength melodramamine
• bottle of limeade
• bottle of lovebug pheromones
• bottle of melodramamine
• bottle of moontan lotion
• bottle of perfume
• bottle of single-barrel whiskey
• bottle-rocket crossbow
• bottled Vampire Vintner
• bottled day
• bottled green pixie
• bounty-hunting helmet
• bounty-hunting pants
• bow
• bow staff
• bowl of lucky charms
• bowl of marinade
• bowl of oriole's nest soup
• bowl of prescription candy
• bowlegged pants
• bowler
• box o' ghosts
• box of bear arms
• box of hickory chips
• boxed Apriling band helmet
• boxed Mayam Calendar
• boxed Sept-Ember Censer
• boxed august scepter
• boxed autumn-aton
• boxed bat wings
• boxed gumball machine
• bran muffin
• brand new key
• brass Dreadsylvanian flask
• brass abacus
• brass bung spigot
• brass crank handle
• brass turkey knuckles
• breath mint
• brick of sand
• briefcase full of sprinkles
• brine
• briny vinegar
• brittle plastic handle
• broken BRICKO brick
• broken El Vibrato drone
• broken cellular phone
• broken chocolate pocketwatch
• broken warbear gyrocopter
• bronze
• brown plastic baby
• browser cookie
• bubblewrap crossbow
• bubblewrap staff
• bubblewrap sword
• bucket of ancient Vampyre blood
• buffalo dime
• bugbear-smiting sword
• bugged bön±Ã©t
• bugged balaclava
• bugged beanie
• bulky free-range mushroom
• bullet necklace
• bundle of firewood
• burglar/sleep mask
• burnt flower
• burnt stick
• burrowgrub hive
• cactus monocle
• calavera concertina
• calm attention-deficit demon
• camouflage T-shirt
• campfire baked potato
• campfire beans
• campfire coffee
• campfire hot dog
• campfire s'more
• campfire smoke
• campfire stew
• can of Rain-Doh
• can of starch
• candied almond
• candied yam pinky ring
• candy UFOs
• candy cane sword cane
• candy chalk
• candy cornucopia
• candy crayons
• candy egg deviler
• candy kneecapping stick
• candy knuckles
• candy mailing list
• candy mountain oyster
• candy stick
• candycaine powder
• cane-mail pants
• cannonball charrrm bracelet
• capped blue lava bottle
• capped green lava bottle
• capped red lava bottle
• captured boozles
• carbonite visor
• card sleeve
• cardboard crossbow
• cardboard staff
• cardboard sword
• caret
• carnivorous potted plant
• carrot juice
• carton of gaspers
• catsup
• caustic slime nodule
• cement shoes
• ceramic celery grater
• ceramic celsiturometer
• ceramic cenobite's robe
• ceramic centurion shield
• ceramic cestus
• ceramic scree
• chakra malt
• chalk chain
• chalk chalice
• chalk chapeau
• chalk chinos
• chalk chlamys
• chalk choker
• chalk chunks
• charpuce jub-jub bird
• charrrm bracelet
• cheap plastic kazoo
• cheesy eagle sauce
• chef skull
• chef-in-the-box
• chef-skull-in-the-box
• cherry bomb
• chiffon carbage
• chiffon chakram
• chiffon chamberpot
• chiffon chapeau
• chiffon chaps
• chiffon chemise
• chiffon chevrons
• chiffon lemon
• child-sized dracula cloak
• chili powder cutlass
• chiptune guitar
• chocolate "Phoenix"
• chocolate Ogre Chieftain
• chocolate Spider Queen
• chocolate bowtie
• chocolate box
• chocolate chip muffin
• chocolate cow bone
• chocolate pocketwatch
• chocolate puppy
• chocolate rabbit's foot
• chocolate stolen accordion
• chocolate turtle totem
• chocolate-covered caviar
• chocolate-covered loofah
• chocolate-frosted king cake
• chocolate-stained collar
• chorizo brownies
• chrome crossbow
• chrome meat stack
• chrome staff
• chrome sword hilt
• ciliophora chowder
• cinnamon cannoli
• circle drum
• clan underground fireworks shop
• class five ecto-larva
• classy monkey
• claw-held flag
• clockwork bartender head
• clockwork bartender-head-in-the-box
• clockwork bartender-in-the-box
• clockwork chef head
• clockwork chef-head-in-the-box
• clockwork crossbow
• clockwork detective skull
• clockwork endoskeleton
• clockwork handle
• clockwork hat
• clockwork maid
• clockwork maid head
• clockwork pants
• clockwork pirate skull
• clockwork rings
• clockwork rod
• clockwork shank
• clockwork sphere
• clockwork staff
• clockwork thingamajig
• closed-circuit pay phone
• closed-circuit phone system
• clovermint
• clown whip
• clownskin buckler
• club of corruption
• coal paperweight
• coal snakeskin
• cocoa chondrule
• cocoa of youth
• coconut bikini top
• coffee pixie stick
• coffee sprite
• cog and sprocket assembly
• cold cluster
• cold clusterbomb
• cold medicine cabinet
• colorful plastic ball
• colossal free-range mushroom
• combat lover's locket
• combat lover's locket lockbox
• comfy blanket
• complex alien plant sample
• complex alien zoological sample
• complicated device
• complicated lock impression
• coney haunch
• congratulatory cake
• conquistador's breastplate
• consolation ribbon
• container of Spooky Putty
• control crystal
• cookbookbat book
• cool iron breastplate
• cool iron greaves
• cool iron helmet
• cooling iron breastplate
• cooling iron greaves
• cooling iron helmet
• copper ha'penny charrrm bracelet
• corked genie bottle
• corrupt club of corruption
• corrupted bird DNA
• corrupted stardust
• cosmic bucket
• cosmic lemonade
• cosmic paste
• cotton candy cocoon
• cotton candy cordial
• counterfeit city
• cozy bazooka
• cozy scarf
• cozy scimitar
• cranberry schnapps
• crappy Mer-kin mask
• crappy Mer-kin tailpiece
• crappy camera
• crate of firebombs
• crate of fish meat
• crated wardrobe-o-matic
• crazy bastard sword
• cream of chloroplasts
• creepy voodoo doll
• crimbo elfling
• crimsilion jub-jub bird
• croquet hedgehog
• crude oil congealer
• crumbling rat skull
• crushed steamer trunk
• cryptic puzzle box
• crystal decanter
• crystalline light bulb
• crystalline reamer
• crystallized memory
• crystallized pumpkin spice
• cuckoo clock
• cuddly teddy bear
• cup of "tea"
• cup of hickory chicory
• cup of lukewarm tea
• cursed breeches
• cursed chocolate doubloon
• cursed cutlass
• cursed eyepatch
• cursed magnifying glass
• cursed microwave
• cursed monkey glove
• cursed monkey's paw
• cursed pirate cutlass
• cursed pony keg
• cursed swash buckle
• cursed tricorn hat
• cursed wishbone
• custom avatar form
• custom sixgun
• cute bow from beyond the stars
• cyber-mattock
• cyclops eyedrops
• damp old wallet
• dandy lion cub
• dark chocolate egg
• dark porquoise ring
• das boot
• deactivated RoboGoose
• deactivated nanobots
• deactivated putty buddy
• dead guy's piece of double-sided tape
• deadfall branch
• deadly nightshade
• deanimated reanimator's coffin
• decaying wooden paddle
• decaying wooden pole
• deck of lewd playing cards
• deed to Oliver's Place
• defective Game Grid token
• defective Golden Mr. Accessory
• deflated inflatable dodecapede
• delectable catalyst
• delectable fire ant
• delicious comfit?
• delicious shimmering moth
• delicious stinkbug
• demonic cow's blood
• denastified haunch
• dense meat crossbow
• dense meat sword
• dental pliers
• depleted Grimacite astrolabe
• depleted Grimacite kneecapping stick
• depleted Grimacite ninja mask
• depleted Grimacite shinguards
• designer sweatpants
• designer sweatpants (new old stock)
• desktop zen garden
• detective school application
• detective skull
• detective tattoo
• detour shield
• devil's-food cake
• devil-summoning hat
• diabolic pizza cube
• diabolical crossbow
• diamondback skin
• dice belt buckle
• dice ring
• dice sunglasses
• dice-print do-rag
• dice-print pajama pants
• dice-shaped backpack
• digital underground potion
• dirty bottlecap
• dirty martini
• discarded button
• disco biscuit
• disconnected intergnat
• disembodied smile
• distention pill
• do-it-yourself laser eye surgery kit
• dollar sign
• dollop of barbecue sauce
• dolphin whistle
• dope wheels
• doppelshifter egg
• double barreled barrel gun
• double-ice gum
• doubt cannon
• dove DNA
• dreadful box
• dreaming Jung man
• dried gelatinous cube
• drippy bezoar
• drippy bromide
• drippy candy bar
• drippy caviar
• drippy diadem
• drippy enzyme
• drippy flux
• drippy grub
• drippy ichor
• drippy khakis
• drippy nugget
• drippy orb
• drippy pigment
• drippy pilsner
• drippy plum(?)
• drippy salt
• drippy seed
• drippy shield
• drippy snail shell
• drippy staff
• drippy stake
• drippy stein
• drippy truncheon
• dromedary drinking helmet
• droppable microphone
• drug cocktail sauce
• druidic s'more
• dubious peppermint
• duck-on-a-string
• dude ranch souvenir crate
• dusty bottle of blood
• earthenware muffin tin
• eaves droppers
• eerie fetish
• effluvious emerald
• egg gun
• eggman noodles
• elbow soup
• elderly jawbreaker
• eldritch concentrate
• eldritch hammer
• eldritch hat
• eldritch ichor
• eldritch pants
• eldritch scanner
• eldritch tincture
• electric Kool-Aid
• electrician's hardhat
• electronic Brain Trainer game
• elf army field rations
• elf sleeper agent
• elven suicide capsule
• elven tambourine
• ember egg
• emo roe
• emotion chip
• empty Rain-Doh can
• empty blowgun
• empty hourglass
• enchanted eyepatch
• enhanced signal receiver
• envelope full of Meat
• ert grey goo ring
• essential tofu
• etched hourglass
• eternal knot tattoo
• even more tinsel
• everfull glass
• evil flaming eyeball pendant
• evil noodles
• evil paper umbrella
• exactly-three-shaped box
• exclusive ultra-rare item
• exo-xo-skeleton-skeleton
• exotic orchid
• expired bottle of peppermint schnapps
• expired can of franks 'n' beans
• exploding gum
• extra DNA
• extra ooze
• extra special Crimbo stocking
• extra-hard jawbreaker
• extra-heavy BRICKO brick
• extra-strength goo
• extra-strength rubber bands
• eye 'n' horn shampoo
• fairy-worn boots
• fake washboard
• familiar scrapbook
• fancy calligraphy pen
• fancy chess set
• fancy chocolate car
• fancy chocolate sculpture
• fancy party pants
• fancy schmancy cheese sauce
• farfalle bow tie
• fascinating alien plant sample
• fascinating alien zoological sample
• fat loot token
• fat wallet
• fear condenser
• feathered headdress
• fertilized ghuol egg
• festive warbear bank
• fettucini épines Inconnu
• fettucini épines Inconnu recipe
• fetus-smashing club
• fiberglass fannypack
• fiberglass fedora
• fiberglass fetish
• fiberglass fibers
• fiberglass fingerguard
• fiberglass foil
• fiberglass frock
• fiberglass insulation
• filthy monkey head
• fin-bit wax
• fire hose
• firebomb
• fireproof skip lid
• fish sauce
• fish scimitar
• fish stick cozy
• fishbone belt
• fishbone bracers
• fishbone catcher's mitt
• fishbone corset
• fishbone facemask
• fishbone fins
• fishbone kneepads
• fishcake
• fishin' hat
• fishy paste
• fishy pipe
• fishy wand
• fist turkey outline
• fistful of wood shavings
• fixed-gear bicycle
• flagellate flagon
• flagellate soup
• flagstone fez
• flagstone flag
• flagstone flagments
• flagstone flail
• flagstone fleece
• flagstone flip-flops
• flagstone fringe
• flaming familiar doppelgänger
• flaming glowsticks
• flaming juggler's balls
• flaming leaf crown
• flaming nose
• flaming pink shirt
• flamingo mallet
• flask of embalming fluid
• flask of mining oil
• flask of port
• fleetwood macaroni
• flickering pixel
• floaty gravel
• floaty inverse geode
• floaty pebbles
• floaty rock
• floaty rock helmet
• floaty rock necklace
• floaty rock pants
• floaty stone sphere
• floorboard cruft
• floral print shirt
• flytrap bezoar
• foam commodore's hat
• foam naval trousers
• foggy glass globe
• foie gras
• folder (Jackass Plumber)
• folder (KOLHS)
• folder (Seawolf)
• folder (Yedi)
• folder (catfish)
• folder (dancing dolphins)
• folder (heavy metal)
• folder (owl)
• folder (sports car)
• folder (sportsballs)
• folder (tranquil landscape)
• food mailing list
• foreign box
• fossilized baboon skull
• fossilized bat skull
• fossilized demon skull
• fossilized limb
• fossilized serpent skull
• fossilized spider skull
• fossilized spike
• fossilized spine
• fossilized torso
• fossilized wing
• fossilized wyrm skull
• fragile Christmas ornament
• frankincenser
• free boots
• french-fry grabber
• fresh can of paint
• fresh coat of paint
• frontwinder skin
• frost-rimed desk bell
• frost-rimed seal hide
• frozen danish
• frozen seal spine
• fruit basket
• fruit bat
• fruit bowl
• fudgecycle
• full lava bottle
• funky brass fez
• funky junk key
• funny paper hat
• fustulent seal grulch
• fuzzy bracelets
• fuzzy polar bear ears
• gabardine gaiters
• gabardine garibaldi
• gabardine garland
• gabardine girdle
• gabardine gloves
• gabardine gunnysack
• gabardine smithereens
• gallon of milk
• garbage sticker
• gasmask
• gattoo
• gazing shoes
• gelatinous meat mass
• genie bottle
• genie's bracers
• genie's pants
• genie's scimitar
• genie's turbane
• ghast iron ingot
• ghost pencil
• ghost pickle on a stick
• ghost shawl
• ghostly pickling solution
• giant fishhook
• giant free-range mushroom
• giant green gummi bear
• giant shrimp fork
• giant stuffed bugbear
• gilded BRICKO brick
• gilded lily
• gill rings
• gingerbread cigarette
• gingerbread dog treat
• gingerbread moneybag
• gingerbread tophat
• gingerbread trousers
• gingerbread waistcoat
• gingernade
• gingerservo
• gingham blouse
• ginseng
• glacial sapphire
• glass eye
• glass gnoll eye
• glass of "milk"
• glass of drippy wine
• glass of warm water
• glimmering buzzard feather
• glimmering penguin feather
• glimmering phoenix feather
• glimmering roc feather
• gloomy black mushroom
• glow-in-the-dark stuffed burrowgrub
• glowing El Vibrato drone
• glowing frisbee
• gnatloaf
• gnawed-up dog bone
• goat
• goblin bone hilt
• goblin collarbone
• golden banana
• golden monkey statuette
• golden pet rock
• golden plastic oyster egg
• golden sausage
• goo magnet
• good gravy
• goodberry
• gooey drippy candy bar
• googly chest eyes
• googly-ball hat
• googly-heart hat
• googly-star hat
• gory drippy orb
• government booze shipment
• government candy shipment
• government food shipment
• government-issued candy
• government-issued eyeshade
• government-issued necktie
• government-issued slacks
• governor's daughter's lace collar
• governor's daughter's pearl hairpin
• governor's daughter's petticoats
• gravyskin buckler
• gravyskin hat
• gravyskin pants
• gravyskin skirt
• grease cannon
• greedy ghostling
• green LavaCo Lamp™
• green candygram
• green cloth cap
• green eggnog
• green face paint
• green hamhock
• green lava globs
• green marshmallow
• green rocket
• green slime glob
• green traffic cone
• green-frosted astral cupcake
• gregarious ghostling
• grey gosling
• grilled mooseflank
• grimstone galoshes
• grinning ghostling
• grizzled bearskin
• groggipop
• groggles
• grogtini
• grouper fangirl
• groupie bra
• groupie lipstick
• grubby wool beerwarmer
• grubby wool gloves
• grubby wool hat
• grubby wool scarf
• grubby wool trousers
• grubby woolball
• grumpy old man charrrm bracelet
• guffin
• guild application
• gummi ammonite
• gummi belemnite
• gummi bowtie
• gummi sword
• gummi trilobite
• gunwale
• gunwale whalegun
• gym shorts
• haiku katana
• hairshirt
• half-digested rat
• half-empty carton of milk
• half-height cigar
• half-height unicycle
• ham steak
• hambrosier
• hand turkey outline
• hand-carved staff
• handful of Laughing Willow bark
• handful of bees
• handful of drink tickets
• handful of juicy garbage
• handful of split pea soup
• hard cocoa
• hardened slime belt
• hardened slime pants
• hare brush
• hare pin
• harpoon
• haunted bottle of vodka
• haunted doghouse
• haunted orange
• hazardous sauce dosimeter
• hazmat helmet
• head of emberg lettuce
• heart cozy
• heart-shaped balloon
• heart-shaped candy whetstone
• heart-shaped crate
• heather graham cracker
• heavy hot sauce
• heavy-duty Crimbot aerial
• hemlock helm
• hemp backpack
• heteroerotic frat-paddle
• hewn moon-rune spoon
• hi-density nylocite leg armor
• hibernating Grimstone Golem
• hibernating robot reindeer
• high-end ginger wine
• high-speed upgrade
• high-test fishing line
• hippo tutu
• hipster cocktail
• hoarded candy wad
• hobo monkey
• hobo paste
• hockey stick of furious angry rage
• holiday log
• holiday smorgasbord
• holiday trip around the world
• holly-flavored Hob-O
• homeless hobo spirit
• homemade robot
• homemade robot gear
• homeopathic healing powder
• honey bun of Boris
• hopeful candle
• hot button candy
• hot cluster
• hot clusterbomb
• hot watered rum
• hourglass
• house of twigs and spit
• house-sized mushroom
• hovering sombrero
• humble pie
• humming El Vibrato drone
• hungover chauvinist pig
• hyperinflated seal lung
• hypnodisk
• ice baby
• ice house
• ice pick
• ice sickle
• ice skate decoy
• ice skate doll
• ice skates
• ice stein
• iceberglet
• iced-out bling
• illegal firecracker
• illicit fish sauce
• imaginary lemon
• imitation crab zoea
• imitation nice watch
• imitation whetstone
• immense ballet shoes
• immense free-range mushroom
• in-the-box spring shoes
• incredibly dense meat gem
• indie comic hipster glasses
• industrial fire extinguisher
• industrial lubricant
• industrial strength anti-fungal spray
• inert sludgepuppy
• infant sandworm
• infernal snowball
• infinite BACON machine
• inflatable LT&T telegraph office
• inflatable baseball bat
• innuendo
• insulated gold wire
• insulting hat
• intact medium-wave antenna
• interesting clod of dirt
• interesting-looking twig
• intergalactic pom poms
• internet point
• intricate clockwork big hand
• intricate clockwork birdhouse
• intricate clockwork cuckoo
• intricate clockwork disc
• intricate clockwork egg
• intricate clockwork little hand
• intricate clockwork numeral I
• intricate clockwork numeral II
• intricate clockwork numeral III
• intricate clockwork numeral IV
• intricate clockwork numeral IX
• intricate clockwork numeral V
• intricate clockwork numeral VI
• intricate clockwork numeral VII
• intricate clockwork numeral VIII
• intricate clockwork numeral X
• intricate clockwork numeral XI
• intricate clockwork numeral XII
• invisibility potion
• iron chain
• iron dagger
• ironic battle spoon
• ironic jogging shorts
• ironic knit cap
• ironic moustache
• ironic oversized sunglasses
• irresistibility potion
• irritability potion
• isotophat
• ittah bittah hookah
• jalapeño slices
• jam band
• jamfish jam
• jangly spurs
• jar of frostigkraut
• jar of magical relish
• jawbruiser
• jewel-eyed wizard hat
• jewelry-making pliers
• jigsaw blade
• jitterbug larva
• jolly roger tattoo kit
• jug of Sneaky Pete's Mojo
• juggling ball
• kerosene-soaked skip
• ketchup
• kevlateflocite helmet
• khaki duffel bag
• kickback cookbook
• kitten burglar
• kitty sheet music
• knight cookie
• kobold treasure hoard
• ladle of mystery
• large pile of sand
• large stone triangle
• laser cannon
• laser targeting chip
• latte lovers club card
• latte lovers member's mug
• lavalarva
• lavender candygram
• lead collar
• lead umbrella
• lead yo-yo
• leaf
• leather aviator's cap
• left bear arm
• left half of a heart necklace
• left-handed melodica
• leftover Crimbo rations
• leg-mounted Trainbots
• leggings of the Spider Queen
• lemony scales
• length of string
• letterman's jacket
• lewd playing card
• li'l knight costume
• li'l orphan tot
• liar's pants
• licorice boa
• licorice garrote
• licorice snake
• licorice whip
• lifeless meat doll
• linoleum crossbow string
• linoleum meat stack
• linoleum stick
• linoleum sword hilt
• lint
• lip soup
• liquid SONAR
• liquid bread
• liquid rhinestones
• lit leaf lasso
• little box of fireworks
• little parachute guy
• little piece of steel
• live lobster
• live wire
• livid energy
• llama lama cria
• loathing eagle baby-doll shirt
• locked mumming trunk
• logging hatchet
• lollipop cufflinks
• long-stemmed rose
• longbox of Batfellow comics
• loofah ladle
• loofah lavalier
• loofah lederhosen
• loofah legwarmers
• loofah lei
• loofah lumberjack's hat
• loofah lumps
• loose blade
• loose purse strings
• love
• low tide martini
• lucky Crimbo tiki necklace
• lucky Tam O'Shanter
• lucky Tam O'Shatner
• lucky army helmet
• lucky cat statue
• lucky cat's paw
• lucky gold ring
• lucky lighter
• lucky-ish pill
• lump of Saccharine Maple sap
• lump of bauxite
• lupine appetite hormones
• lustrous drippy orb
• luxury fly-tying workbench
• machine elf capsule
• macroplane grater
• mafia middle finger ring
• mafia organizer badge
• mafia pointer finger ring
• mafia wedding ring
• magic dragonfish fry
• magical battery
• magnetic field
• magnolia blossom
• maid head
• makeshift castanets
• makeshift crane
• mana-basted tofurkey leg
• mana-coated yams
• mana-fortified cranberry sauce
• mana-stuffed herbal stuffing
• mannequin leg
• map to Anemone Mine
• map to Dolph Bossin's hideout
• map to Madness Reef
• map to the Cursed Village
• map to the Dive Bar
• map to the Marinara Trench
• map to the Mystic Wood
• map to the Putrid Swamp
• map to the Skate Park
• map to the Sprawling Cemetery
• map to the Towering Mountains
• maple leaf
• marble maebari
• marble magnet
• marble mantle
• marble mariachi hat
• marble medallion
• marble mignonette bowl
• marble molecules
• marine aquamarine
• marionette
• marshmallow bomb
• marshmallow flambé
• marshroom
• martiny
• mayfly bait necklace
• mayo pump
• meat face
• meat shield
• meat st‰¿bing club
• meatball machine
• mechanically-mulled cider
• medium slimy cyst
• medium stone triangle
• meme generator
• memory of a CT base pair
• menorette
• mercenary pistol
• mercenary rifle
• mermaid's purse
• messenger bag RNA
• metal band T-shirt
• metal mandible
• metallic foil bow
• metallic foil cat ears
• metallic foil radar dish
• metandienone
• meteor shower cap
• meteorite earring
• meteorite fragment
• meteorite necklace
• meteorite ring
• metrognome
• micronova
• microwave stogie
• midget clownfish
• military candy cane
• military orb
• mini kiwi
• mini kiwi aioli
• mini kiwi antimilitaristic hippy petition
• mini kiwi bikini
• mini kiwi digitized cookies
• mini kiwi egg
• mini kiwi icepick
• mini kiwi illicit antibiotic
• mini kiwi intoxicating spirits
• mini kiwi invisible dirigible
• mini kiwi silicon tiepin
• mini kiwi tipi
• mini kiwi whipping stick
• mini kiwi-flavored aspirin-injecting lipstick
• mini kiwitini
• mini-Mr. Accessory
• mini-zeppelin
• miniature Jacob's ladder
• miniature antlers
• miniature castagnets
• miniature coffin
• miniature crystal ball
• miniature deck cannon
• miniature espresso maker
• miniature goose mask
• miniature gravy-covered maypole
• miniature stuffed Goth Giant
• miniature tophat
• miniscule beatbox
• miniscule temporal rip
• mint condition Lil' Doctor™ bag
• mint condition magnifying glass
• mint-condition magic wand
• mint-in-box Powerful Glove
• misfit dolly
• misfit hobby horse
• misfit teddy bear
• missing semicolon
• missing wine
• moaiball
• model train set
• moist sack
• mojo filter
• mole skin notebook
• monkey barf
• monster bait
• moon-amber necklace
• moosemeat pie
• moss floss
• moss mace
• moss mantle
• moss marlinspike
• moss medal
• moss megaphone
• moss mitre
• moss mulch
• mountain lion skin
• mourning wine
• moustache sock
• moveable feast
• moxie magnet
• mulled blood
• mummified entombed cookbookbat
• mumming trunk
• mummy costume
• murderbot mask
• murderbot memory chip
• murderbot plasma rifle
• murderbot whip
• muscular soup
• mushroom tea
• mushroom whiskey
• muskox-skin cap
• musty moccasins
• mutant cactus bud
• mutant crown
• mutant fire ant egg
• mutant gila monster egg
• mutant legs
• mutant rattlesnake egg
• mutated candy lump
• myrrh pouch
• mysterious chest
• mystery lollipop
• name change form
• nanorhino credit card
• nasty desk bell
• nativity shorts
• naughty fortune teller
• naughty origami kit
• naughty paper shuriken
• nauseating reagent
• navel ring of navel gazing
• neck wreath
• nervous tick egg
• nest egg
• newborn kobold
• newly-hatched mayonnaise wasp
• nice warm beer
• nicksilver ring
• ninja pirate zombie robot
• ninja pirate zombie robot head
• ninjammies
• noir fedora
• non-Euclidean angle
• norwhal helmet
• note from Clancy
• nothing-in-the-box-in-the-box
• novelty monorail ticket
• novelty tattoo sleeves
• nozzle of the Phoenix
• nugget of ticksilver
• numberwang
• nutcracking pliers
• nylon Christmas stockings
• obsidian nutcracker
• octolus-skin cloak
• off-hand balloon
• offensive moustache
• oily golden mushroom
• old school Mafia knicke½æ
• old school Mafia knickerbockers
• old-fashioned Crimbo Pressie
• olive stir-fry
• one million meat pancakes
• one piece of bubble gum
• one-day ticket to Conspiracy Island
• one-day ticket to Dinseylandfill
• one-day ticket to Spring Break Beach
• one-day ticket to That 70s Volcano
• one-day ticket to The Glaciest
• one-winged stab bat
• onyx bishop
• onyx king
• onyx knight
• onyx pawn
• onyx queen
• onyx rook
• optimal spreadsheet
• orange and black Crimboween candy
• orange candygram
• orange slime glob
• orange traffic cone
• orc paste
• organ grinder
• organic potpourri
• origami "gentlemen's" magazine
• origami pasties
• origami riding crop
• ornamental sextant
• ornate ancient cursed key
• orphan baby yeti
• over-the-shoulder Folder Holder
• overcharged El Vibrato power sphere
• overclocked avian microprocessor
• overflowing gift basket
• overloaded Yule battery
• overloaded short-pulse transistor
• oversized ice molecule
• oyster sauce
• packaged Daylight Shavings Helmet
• packaged Everfull Dart Holster
• packaged June cleaver
• packaged Jurassic Parka
• packaged Pocket Professor
• packaged Roman Candelabra
• packaged SpinMaster™ lathe
• packaged backup camera
• packaged cold medicine cabinet
• packaged familiar scrapbook
• packaged industrial fire extinguisher
• packaged knock-off retro superhero cape
• packaged luxury garment
• packaged miniature crystal ball
• packaged model train set
• packet of beer seeds
• packet of dragon's teeth
• packet of mayfly bait
• packet of mushroom spores
• packet of pumpkin seeds
• packet of rock seeds
• packet of tall grass seeds
• packet of thanksgarden seeds
• packet of winter seeds
• pair of plants
• pair of ragged claws
• panicked kernel
• pantogram
• papier-mâché base
• papier-mâché bowl
• papier-mâché glob
• papier-mâché handle
• papier-mâché plaque
• papier-mâché trophy piñata
• paraffin palazzos
• paraffin pendant
• paraffin pieces
• paraffin pith helmet
• paraffin poncho
• paraffin pseudoaccordion
• paraffin punching bag
• party crasher
• party mouse hat
• party pup
• party whip
• passable elf mask
• passed-out psychedelic bear
• patch of extra-warm fur
• pea brittle
• peace shooter
• peace turkey outline
• peasco sour
• peaza
• penguin-smacking club
• peppermint pegleg
• peppermint rhino baby
• peppermint sprig
• peppermint syrup
• perfect Christmas scarf
• perfectly fair coin
• perfectly ordinary frog
• personal graffiti kit
• personal raindrop
• personalizable gingerbread cookie
• personalized birthday cake
• personalized wassail stein
• pet anemone
• pet bad vibe
• petrified noodles
• petrified time
• petrified wood
• pewter candlestick
• photo booth sized crate
• pickelhaube
• picky tweezers
• picture of a dead guy's girlfriend
• piece of cake
• pig-iron shinguards
• pile of Trainbot parts
• pile of dungeon junk
• pile of loose snow
• pile of sand
• pile of smoking rags
• pilgrim shield
• pine cone
• pine cone necklace
• ping-pong paddle
• pink candygram
• pink plastic baby
• pink-belly slapper
• pink-frosted astral cupcake
• pint of sweat
• piracetam
• pirate encryption key alpha
• pirate encryption key bravo
• pirate encryption key delta
• pirate fork
• pirate hook
• pirate pantaloons
• pirate radio ring
• pirate skull
• pirate zombie head
• pirate zombie robot head
• piratical blunderbuss
• pixel boomerang
• pixel energy tank
• pixel grappling hook
• pixel pill
• pixel rock
• pixel shield
• pixie axie
• plain calzone
• plain paper hat
• plans for depleted Grimacite astrolabe
• plans for depleted Grimacite grappling hook
• plans for depleted Grimacite gravy boat
• plans for depleted Grimacite hammer
• plans for depleted Grimacite ninja mask
• plans for depleted Grimacite shinguards
• plans for depleted Grimacite weightlifting belt
• plastic bazooka
• plastic bib
• plastic cup of flat beer
• plastic doll arms
• plastic doll legs
• plastic piranha pot
• plastic pirate hat
• plastic pumpkin bucket
• plastic spider ring
• plastic vampire fangs
• plate of Hellfire Spicy Beans
• plate of World's Blackest-Eyed Peas
• plexifoam chin strap
• plexiglass pants
• plexiglass pendant
• plexiglass pikestaff
• plexiglass pinky ring
• plexiglass pith helmet
• plexiglass pocketwatch
• plump juicy grub
• plus one
• plush alielf
• plush dogcat
• plush ferrelf
• plush mutated alielephant
• plush mutated alielf
• plush sea serpent
• pocket ace
• pocket lint (green)
• pocket lint (white)
• pogo stick
• poison pen
• polished moon-amber
• polyeaster egg
• polyester pad
• polyester panama hat
• polyester parachute
• polyester peeler
• polyester pettipants
• polyester pulsera
• polyesterene powder
• polymorphic fastening apparatus
• pompadour'd puppy
• poncho de azucar
• poodle skirt
• porcelain candy dish
• porcelain pelerine
• porcelain pepper mill
• porcelain phantom mask
• porcelain plus-fours
• porcelain police baton
• porcelain porkpie
• porcelain powder
• porquoise bracelet
• portable Mayo Clinic
• portable Spacegate
• portable dam
• portable motorcycle
• portable pantogram
• portable ping-pong table
• potato alarm clock
• potato jacket
• potion of spiritual gunkifying
• potted power plant
• potted tea tree
• pottery barn owl figurine
• powdered dice
• powdered madness
• powdered oxygen
• powdered toad horn
• power seed
• praying Grim Brother
• pregnant mushroom
• present
• pressurized potion of pneumaticity
• pressurized potion of possessiveness
• primitive alien blowgun
• primitive alien loincloth
• primitive alien mask
• primitive alien medicine
• primitive alien necklace
• primitive alien spear
• primitive alien totem
• print screen button
• pristine piranha seed
• profane eye patch
• prohie's hat
• proto-proto-protozoa
• protogenetic chunklet (elbow)
• protogenetic chunklet (flagellum)
• protogenetic chunklet (lips)
• protogenetic chunklet (muscle)
• protogenetic chunklet (synapse)
• protonic accelerator pack
• prototype stimulant
• psychedelic bubble wand
• psychic's amulet
• psychic's circlet
• psychic's crystal ball
• psychic's pslacks
• psycho sweater
• pumpkin juice
• pumpkinhead mask
• punching mirror
• puppet strings
• purple glowstick
• purple prose pen
• purple-frosted astral cupcake
• purpleheart "pants"
• purpleheart logs
• putty coat
• puzzling ribbon
• puzzling trophy
• pygmy bugbear shaman
• quadroculars
• quake of arrows
• quantized familiar
• quantized familiar experience
• quantum of familiar
• quantum taco
• quantum watch
• questionable taco
• quicksilver ring
• quirky accordion
• radio button candy
• radioactive chew toy
• radioactive spider venom
• raffle prize box
• raffle ticket
• rag doll
• ragged wool yarn
• rainbow jellybean
• rainbow pearl
• rainbow pearl earring
• rainbow pearl necklace
• rainbow pearl ring
• rainbow sauce
• rainbow tie
• ramekin of space nuts
• rare oboe
• rat head balloon
• ratarang
• ratatouille de Jarlsberg
• ratskin pajama pants
• rattlesnake enrager
• real cowboy hat
• really nice net
• really tiny cocktail shaker
• record of infuriating silence
• record of menacing silence
• record of tranquil silence
• recording of Rolando's Rondo of Resisto
• recovered cufflinks
• red LavaCo Lamp™
• red balloon
• red coin
• red face paint
• red lava globs
• red money bag
• red plastic baby
• red plumber's boots
• red traffic cone
• red-and-green microcamera
• red-hot medallion
• red-spotted snapper roe
• redwood rain stick
• refrigerated biohazard container
• refurbished air fryer
• regret hose
• rehearsing dramatic hedgehog
• reliable sixgun
• repaid diaper
• repaired El Vibrato drone
• research fragment
• reusable shopping bag
• reverse Tantalus
• rewinged stab bat
• rhinestone cowhorn
• rhinoceros horn
• ribcage rollcage
• riboflavin
• ridiculous earring
• rigging knot
• right bear arm
• right half of a heart necklace
• ring
• ring of the Skeleton Lord
• roasted vegetable focaccia
• roasted vegetable of Jarlsberg
• robot reindeer protocol O.L.I.V.E.
• rock lobster
• rockfish stomach
• roll of Hob-Os
• roll of drink tickets
• roller skate decoy
• roller skate doll
• rolling pin
• root beer
• root beer barrel
• rose-colored glasses
• rotting cowskin
• rubber WWBBDD? bracelet
• rubber baby doll
• rubber cape
• rubber doll body
• rubber doll head
• rubber gloves
• rubber spatula
• rum ball
• rum barrel charrrm bracelet
• rune-strewn spoon cocoon
• rusty valve wheel
• rxr shield
• sabre-toothed lime cub
• sachet of strange powder
• saffron antaravasaka
• saffron uttarasanga
• salt plum sake
• saltwaterbed
• salty drippy candy bar
• sampler size toothpaste
• sandcastle
• sane hatrack
• sangria del diablo
• sardine can key
• sauce of the ages
• sausage golem
• savory crossbow
• savory dry noodles
• savory staff
• savory sword
• scale-mail underwear
• scary death orb
• scepter of the Skeleton Lord
• scimitar cozy
• scrap of shadow
• scrap of sticky paper
• scrumptious ice ant
• sea cape
• sea cowbell
• sea cowboy hat
• sea lasso
• sea mantle
• sea shawl
• sea-worn candlestick
• seal lube
• seal medal
• seal-toothed rock
• sealhide snare
• second-hand knockoff engagement ring
• secret blend of herbs and spices
• secret from the future
• security blankie
• self-dribbling basketball
• sentient meat mass
• set of Unobtainium straps
• severed flipper
• severed rocking horse head
• sewing kit
• shadow candle
• shadow candy
• shadow chef's hat
• shadow hammer
• shadow monocle
• shadow needle
• shadow trousers
• shadowy cheat sheet
• shadowy seal eye
• shaking skull
• shark tooth
• sharp tin strip
• shellacked shell
• shield of the Skeleton Lord
• shining star cap
• shiny brass tailfeathers
• shipwright's hammer
• shortest-order cook
• shot of Sneaky Pete's Mojo
• shoulder-mounted Trainbot
• shoulder-warming lotion
• shrine to the Barrel god
• shrink-wrapped 2002 Mr. Store Catalog
• shrink-wrapped Cincho de Mayo
• shuddering cow skull
• sicksilver ring
• siesta-ing Casagnova gnome
• signal receiver
• silent beret
• silent nightlight
• silicon-infused gluteal shield
• silk garter snake
• silky pirate drawers
• silver Dreadsylvanian flask
• silver cow creamer
• silver sausage
• simple AI
• single of Inigo's Incantation of Inspiration
• sinister ancient tablet
• sinister demon mask
• sinistral homunculus
• six-armed sweater
• sizzling seal fat
• skate blade
• skate board
• skeletal scabbard
• skewered cherry
• skewered jumbo olive
• skewered lime
• ski resort souvenir crate
• skull capacitor
• skull gearshift knob
• skulldozer egg
• slap and slap again recipe
• sleaze cluster
• sleaze clusterbomb
• sleazy bindle
• sleeping patriotic eagle
• sleeping piano cat
• sleeping profane parrot
• sleeping snowy owl
• slicksilver ring
• slightly thicker filthy rags
• slime fedora
• slime knuckles
• slime stack
• slime waders
• slime-covered club
• slime-covered compass
• slime-covered greaves
• slime-covered helmet
• slime-covered lantern
• slime-covered necklace
• slime-covered shovel
• slime-covered speargun
• slime-covered staff
• slime-soaked brain
• slime-soaked hypophysis
• slime-soaked sweat gland
• slimy chest
• slippery when wet shield
• small Crimbo Pressie
• small golem
• small pile of sand
• small stone triangle
• smile-sharpening stone
• smiley-face sticker
• smoked potsherd
• smoldering box
• smoldering leafcutter ant egg
• smooth velvet hanky
• smooth velvet hat
• smooth velvet pants
• smooth velvet pocket square
• smooth velvet shirt
• smooth velvet socks
• snake skin
• snakeskin cowboy hat
• snakeskin jacket
• snakeskin thighboots
• snow belly
• snow fort
• snow halo
• snow hat
• snow machine
• snow pants
• snowball
• snowman-enchanting tophat
• snowpack
• sober pill
• sock monkey
• soft cap of diminishing returns
• software bug
• software glitch
• solid asbestos box
• solid chrome box
• solid gold jewel
• solid gold pegleg
• solid linoleum box
• sorority girl's box
• soul coin
• soul knife
• soul mask
• soul monocle
• souvenir flag
• space heater
• space jam toast
• space jellybicycle
• space pirate treasure map
• space planula
• space trooper helmet
• spaghetti breakfast
• spaghetti with rock-balls
• spaghetti-box banjo
• spant backplate
• spant egg casing
• spant shield
• spant shoulderpads
• spant spear
• spants
• sparking El Vibrato drone
• sparkly engagement ring
• special edition Batfellow comic
• special sauce glove
• spectral jelly
• spectral pickle
• speed limit shield
• spice melange
• spiky turtle shoulderpads
• spinning wheel
• spirit bed
• spirit bell
• spooky cluster
• spooky clusterbomb
• spooky rattling cigar box
• spooky sap
• spooky staff
• spoon!
• spring shoes
• sprinkles
• sprocket assembly
• squamous polyp
• squirming Slime larva
• squirmy violent party snack
• stained glass serape
• stained glass shards
• stained glass shield
• stained glass shiv
• stained glass spectacles
• stained glass stetson
• stained glass suspenders
• stained hard candy
• star pop
• star shirt
• starchy crossbow
• starchy staff
• starchy sword
• status cymbal
• steaming evil
• steamy ruby
• steel knuckles
• stench cluster
• stench clusterbomb
• stick-on mini solar panels
• sticky sword blade
• still grill
• stinky cheese ball
• stinky cheese diaper
• stinky cheese eye
• stinky cheese sword
• stinky cheese wheel
• stone banjo
• stop shield
• strange helix fossil
• strange paste
• strange stone pyramid
• straw hat
• straw pole
• streetfighting champion's belt
• structural ember
• stuffed "L"
• stuffed Hodgman
• stuffed Mob Penguin
• stuffed bandersnatch
• stuffed caterpillar
• stuffed club
• stuffed dinosaur
• stuffed dodo
• stuffed ghuol whelp
• stuffed pocketwatch
• stuffed sabre-toothed lime
• stuffed stab bat
• stuffed walrus
• stuffed yeti
• stuffed yo-yo
• stuffed-shirt scarecrow
• styrofoam crossbow
• styrofoam peanuts
• styrofoam staff
• styrofoam sword
• subscription cocoa dispenser
• sugar banana
• sugar chapeau
• sugar cherry
• sugar raygun
• sugar shank
• sugar shillelagh
• sugar shirt
• sugar shotgun
• super-heated leaf
• super-sweet boom box
• superduperball
• superhero mask
• surgical tape
• sushi doily
• sushi-rolling mat
• suspicious package
• suspicious stocking
• suspicious-looking fedora
• sweat socks
• sweaty balsam
• sweet nutcracker
• sweet potato o' mine
• sweet potato punch
• sweetened reindeer fat
• swordzall
• synaptic soup
• synthetic dog hair pill
• synthetic rock
• tabletop candy dispenser
• tainted seal's blood
• talisman of Seshat
• talkative skull
• talking spade
• tankard of spiced Goldschlepper
• tankard of spiced rum
• tapped black lotus
• tarnished metal ring
• tarnished metal rod
• tarrrnished charrrm bracelet
• tasket
• tasty louse
• tattered paper crown
• tattoo gun
• tattoo of two turkeys
• tawdry amethyst
• tearaway pants
• teddy bear
• teddy borg sewing kit
• teflon swim fins
• tempura air
• tempura green and red bean
• terra cotta tambourine
• terra cotta tidbits
• terra cotta tie tack
• terra cotta tongs
• terra cotta train
• terra cotta trousers
• terra cotta truss
• terra panna cotta
• testy toolbox
• thanksgiving bomb
• the Archwizard's briefs
• the Crymbich Manuscript
• the Ley Incursion's waist
• thermos of "whiskey"
• thicksilver ring
• thin gold wire
• third-hand lantern
• thought balloon
• ticksilver ring
• ticksilver spurs
• tie-dye headband
• tied-up flaming monstera
• tied-up leaviathan
• time residue
• time sword
• time trousers
• time-twitching toolbelt
• tin rations
• tin thermos of chai
• tinsel fin
• tinsel orb
• tiny Tina gun
• tiny ballet slippers
• tiny black hole
• tiny bust of Pallas
• tiny consolation ribbon
• tiny costume wardrobe
• tiny domino mask
• tiny ember
• tiny frozen prehistoric meteorite jawbreaker
• tiny glowing red nose
• tiny handful of mixed nuts
• tiny makeup kit
• tiny nose-bone fetish
• tiny plastic "Santa Claus"
• tiny plastic Colonel Brando
• tiny plastic Duke Starkiller
• tiny plastic Easter Island Bunny
• tiny plastic Jared the Duskwalker
• tiny plastic Jedediah and Boiling Cloud
• tiny plastic St. Patrick
• tiny plastic four-shadowed mime
• tiny plastic spoiler
• tiny plastic sword
• tiny sombrero
• tiny stillsuit
• tisket
• toe jam toast
• toggle switch (Bartend)
• toggle switch (Bounce)
• tonic o' Banderas
• toothbrush
• topiary noseplugs
• topiary skunk
• tortoboggan shield
• toxic mop
• toxo
• toy six-seater hovercraft
• toy soldier
• toy taijijian
• toy wheel
• traffic jam toast
• training scroll: Snokebomb
• traumatic holiday memory
• tree-shaped Crimbo cookie
• trench coat
• trench lighter
• tropical island souvenir crate
• trusty torch
• tryptophan dart
• tulip
• tuning fork
• twisted piece of wire
• twisted-up wet towel
• twitching space egg
• twitching trigger finger
• ultimate wad
• ultracalcium
• unbreakable umbrella
• uncanny desk bell
• uncapped blue lava bottle
• uncapped green lava bottle
• uncapped red lava bottle
• undamaged Unbreakable Umbrella
• undissolvable contact lenses
• undrilled cosmic bowling ball
• unearthed potsherd
• unearthed volcanic meteoroid
• unearthly onyx
• unemployed hunchbacked minion
• unevolved organism
• unfinished ice sculpture
• unfinished pleasure
• uniclops egg
• unlocked meat locker
• unoccupied sheep suit
• unopened Bird-a-Day calendar
• unopened diabolic pizza cube box
• unopened tiny stillsuit
• unpowered Robortender
• unrolling pin
• unsmoothed velvet
• unspeakable lozenges
• untorn tearaway pants package
• unwound cymbal-playing monkey
• unwound mechanical songbird
• unwrapped knock-off retro superhero cape
• urchin roe
• vampagne
• vampire glitter
• vampyric cloake
• vampyric cloake pattern
• vanilla-frosted king cake
• velour valise
• velour vambraces
• velour vaqueros
• velour veil
• velour veneer
• velour viscometer
• velour voulge
• velvet choker
• vesper
• vial of humanoid growth hormone
• vial of patchouli oil
• vicious spiked collar
• villainous scythe
• viral video
• virgin jello shot
• vodka stinger
• void shard
• voodoo doll
• voter registration form
• wad of Crovacite
• wad of cotton
• wad of slimy rags
• wad of spider silk
• walkie-talkie
• walrus ice cream
• warbear battle greaves
• warbear black box
• warbear breakfast machine
• warbear exhaust manifold
• warbear induction oven
• warbear jackhammer drill press
• warbear laser beacon
• warbear liquid lasers
• warbear plain helm
• warbear rejuvenation potion
• warbear soda machine
• warbear superpotion
• warbear warscarf
• wardrobe-o-matic
• warm El Vibrato drone
• waterlogged bootstraps
• waterlogged crate
• wax banana
• wax lips
• weasel stomping pants
• webbed comic mask
• wedge of gray cheese
• weedy skirt
• weighted paperclip chain
• western-style skinning knife
• wet stew
• whirled peas
• white Dreadsylvanian
• white candygram
• white elephant gift
• white money bag
• white-label gin
• wicker clicker
• wicker kickers
• wicker knickers
• wicker slicker
• wicker sticker
• wicker ticker
• wickerbits
• wicksilver ring
• wings of fire
• witch's bra
• wizard action figure
• woim
• woimbook
• wok lobster
• wolf whistle
• wolfman mask
• wolfskull mask
• wood screw
• wooden figurine
• wooden spoon
• worksite credentials
• world's most unappetizing beverage
• wormwood stick
• wormwood wedding ring
• wrapped candy cane sword cane
• wrapping paper
• wriggling severed nose
• writhing drippy candy bar
• wrought-iron flakes
• wrought-iron waders
• wrought-iron walker
• wrought-iron whisk
• wrought-iron widget
• wrought-iron wig
• wrought-iron winch crank
• xo-skeleton-in-a-box
• yam burrito
• yam martini
• yam mayo
• yam slider
• ye olde golde frontes
• yellow candygram
• yellow puck
• yellow puck with a bow on it
• yellow traffic cone
• yield shield
• yule gruel
• yule pup
• yuletide troll chrysalis
• yummy death watch beetle
• zen motorcycle
• zombie dinosaur egg
• zombie mariachi pants
• zombie monkey necklace
• zombie pineal gland