In their foolhardy quest to collect every item, this player comes 1,605 short.

• "DEBBIE" tattoo kit
• 'Villa' document
• 1 Meat
• 17-ball
• 2002 Mr. Store Catalog
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 1 (used)
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 2 (used)
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 3 (used)
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 4 (used)
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 5 (used)
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 6 (used)
• A Guide to Burning Leaves
• A Guide to Safari
• A. W. O. L. commendation
• Acqua Del Piatto Merlot
• Acque Luride Grezze Cabernet
• Admiral's hat
• Adventurer bobblehead
• Adventurer's Kit
• Agent Mauve
• Alice's Army booster box
• Amoon-Ra Cowtep's nemes
• Annual Ascot
• Antagonistic Snowman Kit
• Apathargic Bandersnatch
• Apriling band helmet
• Arr, M80
• Ascension Souvenir T-Shirt
• Asdon Martin keyfob (on ring)
• Ass-Stompers of Violence
• BRICKO egg
• Banfoy's Boutique Order Form
• Barney's rake
• Bastille Battalion Fondue Trophy
• Bastille Battalion control rig
• Bastille Battalion control rig crate
• Batfellow comic
• Beach Comb
• Beach Comb Box
• Bee's Knees
• Belt of Loathing
• Bigger Bugfinder Blade
• Bird-a-Day calendar
• Black Angus blackburger
• Black Bart's Booty
• Black and White Apron Enrollment Form
• Black and White Apron Meal Kit
• Bloodbath
• Booke of Vampyric Knowledge
• Boosty Juice
• Boris's Helm
• Boris's Helm (askew)
• Bowl of Infinite Jelly
• Boxing Day care package
• Brand of Violence
• Brogre brolo shirt
• Brogre brorts
• Brogre bucket hat
• Buddy Bjorn
• Bugfinder Blade
• Build-a-City Gingerbread kit
• Byte
• CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 2) (used)
• CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 4) (used)
• CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 5) (used)
• CSA fire-starting kit
• Camp Scout backpack
• Cargo Cultist Shorts
• Carol of the Bulls (used)
• Carol of the Hells (used)
• Carol of the Thrills (used)
• Carpathian longsword
• Cat-Herding Prod
• Celsius 233
• Charleston shoes
• Chateau Mantegna room key
• Chef Boy, R&D's business card
• Cheshire Bitten
• ChibiBuddy™ (on)
• Children's Meal of the Damned
• Christmas ham
• Chroner trigger
• Cincho de Mayo
• Clan Carnival Game
• Clan Floundry
• Clan VIP Lounge invitation
• Clan VIP Lounge key
• Clan hot dog stand
• Clan looking glass
• Clan pool table
• Clan shower
• Clan speakeasy
• Clara's bell
• Coinspiracy
• Cold One
• Cold Stone of Hatred
• Colera Peste Nebbiolo
• Comma Chameleon egg
• Comprehensive Cartographic Compendium
• Comprehensive Cartographic Compendium (well-read)
• Congressional Medal of Insanity
• Conspiracy™ mascara
• Cosmic Calorie
• Counterclockwise Watch
• Covers-Your-Head
• Crimbo Elf creepy bobble-head
• Crimbo P. R. E. S. S. I. E.
• Crimbo bottomless hot cocoa mug
• Crimbo hat
• Crimbo light-up Rudolph doll
• Crimbo pants
• Crimbo pressie
• Crimbo sapling
• Crimbo stocking
• Crimbo stogie-scented room odorizer
• Crimbo sword
• Crimbo tree flocker
• Crimbot ROM: Mathematical Precision
• Crimbot ROM: Mathematical Precision (dirty)
• Crimbot ROM: Rapid Prototyping
• Crimbot ROM: Rapid Prototyping (dirty)
• Crimbot ROM: Ruthless Efficiency
• Crimbot ROM: Ruthless Efficiency (dirty)
• Crimbot schematic: Lamp Filler
• Crimbot schematic: Refrigerator Chassis
• Crimbot schematic: Rocket Skirt
• Crimbylow-rise jeans
• Crown of Thrones
• DIY protonic accelerator kit
• Daisy's unclean bloomers
• Dark Jill-O-Lantern
• Daylight Shavings Helmet
• Dear Past Self Package
• Deck of Every Card
• Diamond HP-35 Calculator
• Dinsey Whinskey
• Dinsey face paint
• Dinsey food-cone
• Dinsey's brain
• Dinsey's glove
• Dinsey's oculus
• Dinsey's pants
• Dinsey's pizza cutter
• Dinsey's radar dish
• Discontent™ Winter Garden Catalog
• Discount Telescope Warehouse gift certificate
• Distant Woods Getaway Brochure
• Doll Moll violin case
• Dolph Bossin's charity note
• Drapes-You-Regally
• Dreadsylvania Auditor's badge
• Dreadsylvanian clockwork key
• Dreadsylvanian shepherd's pie
• Dreadsylvanian stew
• Driplet
• Dripwood slab
• Drunkula's bell
• Drunkula's cape
• Drunkula's ring of haze
• Drunkula's wineglass
• Easter eggnog
• Ed the Undying exhibit crate
• Eight Days a Week Pill Keeper
• El Vibrato restraints
• Eldritch Intellect: Journey into a Mind of Horror
• Eldritch snap
• Elf Guard SCUBA tank
• Elf Guard insignia (general)
• Ellsbury's journal (used)
• Elvish sunglasses
• Emblem of Ak'gyxoth
• En Una Fila Tequila
• Essence of Annoyance
• Essence of Bear
• Everfull Dart Holster
• Fancy Jeff's fancy pocket square
• FantasyRealm membership packet
• Ferita Del Petto Zinfandel
• Field Guide to Skeletal Anatomy (shredded)
• First Post shirt - Cir Senam
• First Post shirt package
• Flivver
• Folder Holder
• Former Sheriff Dan's tin star
• Fourth of May Cosplay Saber
• Fourth of May Cosplay Saber kit
• Frank Gorshin trophy
• FunFunds™
• Fuzzy Slippers of Hatred
• Game Grid valued membership card
• GameInformPowerDailyPro subscription card
• General Assembly Module
• Ginsu™
• Girdle of Hatred
• Glenn's golden dice
• God Lobster Egg
• Goggles of Loathing
• Golden HP-35 Calculator
• Golden Mr. Accessory
• Golden Mr. Eh?
• Gordon Beer's Beer Garden Catalog
• Granny Hackleton's Gatling gun
• Granny Tood's Thanksgarden Catalog
• Gratitude chocolate (octopus-filled)
• Gratitude chocolate (thyme-filled)
• Great Ball of Frozen Fire
• Great S-Cape
• Great Wolf's beastly trousers
• Great Wolf's left paw
• Great Wolf's lice
• Great Wolf's rocket launcher
• Greatest American Pants
• Gregarious Gregorian Smock
• Grimacite gaiters
• Grimacite galoshes
• Grimacite garter
• Grimacite gasmask
• Grimacite gat
• Grimacite gauntlets
• Grimacite girdle
• Grimacite glaive
• Grimacite go-go boots
• Grimacite goggles
• Grimacite gorget
• Grimacite gown
• Grimacite greaves
• Grimacite guayabera
• Grumpy Bumpkin's Pumpkin Seed Catalog
• Gummi-Memory
• Guzzlr application
• Guzzlr cocktail set
• Guzzlr hat
• Guzzlr pants
• Guzzlr shoes
• Guzzlr souvenir stein
• Guzzlr tablet
• Guzzlr tattoo kit
• Guzzlrbuck
• Gygaxian Libram
• HOA citation pad
• HOA regulation book
• HOA zombie eyes
• HP-35 Calculator
• Hanukkimbo dreidl
• Hat O' Nine Tails
• Helps-You-Sleep
• History's Most Offensive Jokes, Vol. IX
• Hjodor's Guide to Arctic Dalmatians (used)
• Hodgman's disgusting technicolor overcoat
• Hodgman's whackin' stick
• Holiday Hal's Happy-Time Fun Book!
• Holiday Multitasking
• Holiday Multitasking (used)
• Horsery contract
• Hot Socks
• How to Hold a Grudge
• How to Tolerate Jerks
• Hoyle's Guide to Reindeer Games
• Hoyle's Guide to Reindeer Games (used)
• Humpty Dumplings
• Idol of Ak'gyxoth
• Ish Kabibble
• Island Drinkin', a Tiki Mixology Odyssey
• Item #13
• Iunion Crown
• January's Garbage Tote
• January's Garbage Tote (unopened)
• Jarlsberg's pan
• Jarlsberg's pan (Cosmic portal mode)
• Jeans of Loathing
• Jekyllin hide belt
• Jeppson's Malort
• Jick's autograph
• Jick-o-User
• Jodhpurs of Violence
• Juju Mojo Mask
• June cleaver
• Junior Adventurer's merit badge
• Junior LAAAAME merit badge
• Jurassic Parka
• KoL Con 12-gauge
• KoL Con 13 snowglobe
• KoL Con 3-D Glasses
• KoL Con 8-Bit power bracelet
• KoL Con Cinco Piñata Bat
• KoL Con IV Pole
• KoL Con Six Pack
• KoL Con X Bingo Card
• KoL Con X Treasure Map
• KoLHS Pep Squad Box
• Kramco Industries packing carton
• Kramco Sausage-o-Matic™
• Krampus Horn
• Kremlin's Greatest Briefcase
• L.I.M.P. Stock Certificate
• LARP carp
• LI-11 Motor Pool voucher
• LIDAR candle
• LOV Echinacea Bouquet
• LOV Elephant
• LOV Emotionizer
• LOV Enamorang
• LOV Entrance Pass
• LOV Extraterrestrial Chocolate
• LT&T tattoo kit
• LT&T telegraph office deed
• Lava Miner's Daughter
• Lavalos's shell
• Law of Averages
• Lazenby's Life Lesson
• Leapin' Trousers
• Lemonade-235
• Lens of Hatred
• Lens of Violence
• Li'l Businessman Kit
• Liam's mail
• Libram of BRICKOs
• Libram of Candy Heart Summoning
• Libram of Divine Favors
• Libram of Love Songs
• Libram of Pulled Taffy
• Libram of Resolutions
• License To Kill
• License to Chill
• Lil' Doctor™ bag
• Little Geneticist DNA-Splicing Lab
• Living to Drink, Drinking to Live
• Loathing Legion abacus
• Loathing Legion can opener
• Loathing Legion chainsaw
• Loathing Legion corkscrew
• Loathing Legion defibrillator
• Loathing Legion double prism
• Loathing Legion electric knife
• Loathing Legion flamethrower
• Loathing Legion hammer
• Loathing Legion helicopter
• Loathing Legion jackhammer
• Loathing Legion kitchen sink
• Loathing Legion knife
• Loathing Legion many-purpose hook
• Loathing Legion moondial
• Loathing Legion necktie
• Loathing Legion pizza stone
• Loathing Legion rollerblades
• Loathing Legion tape measure
• Loathing Legion tattoo needle
• Loathing Legion universal screwdriver
• Lobster qua Grill
• Lucky Lindy
• Lump-Stacking for Beginners
• MAHI fez
• Mafia bow tie
• Mafia stogie
• Mafia violin case
• Maiali Sifilitici Pinot Noir
• Make-Your-Own-Vampire-Fangs kit
• Manual of Numberology
• Map to Kokomo
• March hat
• Martialest Arts trophy
• Marvelous Unitard
• MayDay™ contract
• Mayam Calendar
• Mayflower bouquet
• Mayodiol
• Mayoflex
• Mayonex
• Mayor Ghost's cloak
• Mayor Ghost's gavel
• Mayor Ghost's khakis
• Mayor Ghost's sash
• Mayor Ghost's scissors
• Mayostat
• Mayozapine
• McPhee's Grimoire of Hilarious Object Summoning
• Meatcleaver
• Memories of Beanslinging
• Memories of Cow Punching
• Memories of Snake Oiling
• Merc Core Field Manual: Intimidation Techniques
• Merc Core Field Manual: Sanity Maintenance
• Merc Core challenge coin
• Merc Core deployment orders
• Meteoid ice beam
• Microplushie: Fauxnerditide
• Mini-Crimbot crate
• Mint Salton Pepper's Peppermint Seed Catalog
• Mint-in-box Moonthril Circlet
• Mint-in-box Moonthril Flamberge
• Mint-in-box Moonthril Greaves
• Mjolnir Jr.
• Mmm-brr! brand mouthwash
• Mob Penguin protection contract
• Monster Manuel
• Moping Artistic Goth Kid
• Mr. Cheeng's spectacles
• Mr. Container
• Mr. Eh?
• Mr. Exploiter
• Mr. Screege's spectacles
• Mr. Shirt
• Mrs. Rush
• Mt. Noob Pale Ale
• Mu
• Murgatroyd diode
• My First Art of War
• My Life of Crime, a Memoir
• My Own Pen Pal kit
• N. O. Beer
• Never Don't Stop Not Striving
• Neverending Party favor
• Neverending Party invitation envelope
• New-You Club Membership Form
• Newbiesport™ backpack
• Non-Euclidean Finance
• Novelty Belt Buckle of Violence
• Now You're Cooking With Grease
• Official Council Aide Pin
• Official Seal of Dreadsylvania
• Olympic-sized Clan crate
• Oopsie IPA
• Operation Patriot Shield
• Order of the Green Thumb Order Form
• Otorian Battle Scar
• Our Daily Candles™ order form
• PARTY HARD T-shirt
• Pack of Every Card
• Pan-Dimensional Gargle Blaster
• Panda outfit
• Pantaloons of Hatred
• Pantsgiving
• Party Planning on a Budget
• Party Tattoo™ gift certificate
• Pecos Dave's sixgun
• Pener's drumstick
• Peppermint Pip Packet
• Periodical Paintbrush
• Petite Paintbrush
• Phonus Balonus
• Pigsticker of Violence
• Pimpsqueak
• PirateRealm membership packet
• PirateRealm party hat
• Platinum HP-35 Calculator
• Platinum Yendorian Express Card
• Pocket Guide to Mild Evil (used)
• Pocket Meteor Guide
• Pocket Meteor Guide (well-thumbed)
• Pocket Professor memory chip
• Pocket Square of Loathing
• Pokéfam Guide to Capturing All of Them
• Powerful Glove
• Professor of Spelunkology
• Protects-Your-Junk
• Psycho From The Heat
• Puffstone cigar
• Quartet of Flare Masters Jacket
• Quiets-Your-Steps
• ROM of Optimality
• Radio Free Baseball Cap
• Radio Free Foil
• Radio Free Jersey
• Radio Free Pants
• Radio KoL Antenna Ball
• Radio KoL Bottle Opener
• Radio KoL Coffee Mug
• Radio KoL Flashlight
• Radio KoL Keychain
• Radio KoL Maracas
• Radio KoL Patch
• Rainbow Jello Mould
• Red Fox glove
• Red Roger tattoo kit
• Red Roger's red left foot
• Red Roger's red left hand
• Red Roger's red right foot
• Red Roger's red right hand
• Red Roger's reliquary
• Red Roger's skull
• Rethinking Candy
• Retrospecs
• Rock Garden Guide
• Roman Candelabra
• Royal scepter
• Rubee™
• S.I.T. Course Completion Certificate
• S.I.T. Course Voucher
• SMOOCH coffee cup
• STYX deodorant body spray
• Scandalously Skimpy Bikini
• Scepter of Loathing
• Schmalz's First Prize Beer
• School of Hard Knocks Diploma
• Science Notebook
• Scratch 'n' Sniff Sticker Tome
• Scurvy and Sobriety Prevention
• Sealed TakerSpace letter of Marque
• Seasonal Beret
• Senior LAAAAME merit badge
• Sept-Ember Censer
• Septapus summoning charm
• Seven Loco
• Shrub's Premium Baked Beans
• Silver HP-35 Calculator
• Sister Accessory
• Size XI Wizard's Robe
• Skipper's accordion
• Skully's hot chocolate
• Sloppy Jalopy
• Sloppy Seconds Diner Employee Handbook
• Slotter
• Small Medium
• Smoldering Clover™ candle
• Sneaky Pete's leather jacket
• Sneaky Pete's leather jacket (collar popped)
• Snow Suit
• Sockdollager
• Solstice Shield
• Sombrero De Vida
• SongBoom™ BoomBox
• SongBoom™ BoomBox Box
• Sorcerers of the Shore Grimoire
• Source shades
• Source terminal
• Source terminal CRAM chip
• Source terminal DRAM chip
• Source terminal GRAM chip
• Source terminal PRAM chip
• Source terminal SPAM chip
• Source terminal TRAM chip
• Southern yam
• Sp'n-Zor's Grimoire of "Tasteful" Gifts
• Space Baby bawbaw
• Space Trip safety headphones
• Spacegate Initiative tattoo unit
• Spacegate Research
• Spacegate access badge
• Spacegate emergency disintegrator
• Spacegate scientist's insignia
• Spasmi Dolorosi Del Rene Champagne
• Spelunker of Fortune (used)
• Spelunker's khakis
• Spelunker's whip
• SpinMaster™ lathe
• Spirit of Christmas
• Spirit of Thanksgiving
• Spooky Putty ball
• Spooky Putty leotard
• Spooky Putty mitre
• Spooky Putty monster
• Spooky Putty sheet
• Spooky Putty snake
• Spookyraven signet
• Spring Break Beach "swimsuit"
• Spring Break Beach tattoo coupon
• Staff of Queso Escusado
• Staff of Simmering Hatred
• Staff of the Cozy Fish
• Staff of the Roaring Hearth
• Staff of the Scummy Sink
• Star of Bravery
• Stick-Knife of Loathing
• Stupid University Diploma
• Superhero Reboots
• Sword of Procedural Generation
• TakerSpace letter of Marque
• Tales of Dread
• Tales of Western Braggadoccio
• Tales of the Word Realms
• Talisman of Baio
• Talisman of Bakula
• Temporal Tempera Tube
• Thanksgiving ration
• That 70s Cologne
• The Beast Within™ candle
• The Big Book of Communism (used)
• The Cocktail Shaker
• The Confiscator's Grimoire
• The Crown of Ed the Undying
• The Emperor's new hat
• The Emperor's new pants
• The Emperor's new shirt
• The Eye of the Thing in the Basement
• The Fingernail of the Thing in the Basement
• The Groose in the Hoose
• The Imploded World
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 1 (used)
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 2 (used)
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 3 (used)
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 4 (used)
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 5 (used)
• The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 6 (used)
• The Joy of Wassailing (used)
• The Kloop in the Coop
• The Necbromancer's Hat
• The Necbromancer's Shorts
• The Necbromancer's Stein
• The Necbromancer's Wizard Staff
• The Necbronomicon (used)
• The Nuge's favorite crossbow
• The One Mood Ring
• The Sagittarian's leisure pants
• The Smith's Tome
• The Spirit of Giving (used)
• The Sword in the Steak
• The Western Look
• Thinknerd T-Shirt
• Thinknerd's Grimoire of Geeky Gifts
• Third Eye
• Thor's Pliers
• Three Mile Island shorts
• Thwaitgold amoeba statuette
• Thwaitgold bug statuette
• Thwaitgold splendor beetle statuette
• Thwaitgold time fly statuette
• Time Juice
• Time Lord Badge of Honor
• Time Lord Participation Mug
• Time-Spinner
• Toddler-sized Dragon Costume
• Tome of Clip Art
• Tome of Rad Libs
• Tome of Snowcone Summoning
• Tome of Sugar Shummoning
• Too Cold to Hold: How to Be Cool - A Memoir
• Too Cold to Hold: How to Be Cool - A Memoir (read)
• Toot Oriole care package
• Totally Gay Claymore
• Treads of Loathing
• Truthsayer
• Ultra Mega Sour Ball
• Unagnimated Gnome
• Uncle Buck
• Uncle Crimbo's Sack
• Uncle Crimbo's hat
• Uncle Hobo's belt
• Uncle Hobo's epic beard
• Uncle Hobo's fingerless tinsel gloves
• Uncle Hobo's gift baggy pants
• Uncle Hobo's highest bough
• Uncle Hobo's stocking cap
• Uncle Romulus (used)
• Underworld sapling
• Underworld truncheon
• Unfortunato's foolscap
• Universal Seasoning
• Unkillable Skeleton's breastplate
• Unkillable Skeleton's restless leg
• Unkillable Skeleton's sawsword
• Unkillable Skeleton's shield
• Unkillable Skeleton's skullcap
• Unmotivator: Crashed Meat Car
• Unmotivator: Crashed Orca
• Unmotivator: Success Warrior
• Unopened Eight Days a Week Pill Keeper
• Uovo Marcio Shiraz
• V for Vivala mask
• Val-U Brand Every Bean Salad
• Velougats™
• Volcoino
• Voluminous Radio Hat
• Voluminous Radio Pants
• Voluminous Radio Sneakers
• Waifuton
• Wal-Mart "diamond" ring
• Wal-Mart gift certificate
• Wal-Mart nametag
• Wal-Mart overalls
• Wal-Mart snowglobe
• Wal-Mart tattoo kit
• Warehouse 23 bling
• Warehouse 23 crate
• Warms-Your-Tush
• White Dragon Fang
• Witchess Set
• Wullabye
• X-32-F snowman crate
• Xi Receiver Unit
• Xlyinia's notebook
• Yeti Protest Sign
• [glitch season reward name]
• [reuse me]
• a cute angel
• adobe brittle
• airplane charter: Conspiracy Island
• airplane charter: Dinseylandfill
• airplane charter: Spring Break Beach
• airplane charter: That 70s Volcano
• airplane charter: The Glaciest
• airplane tattoo
• alien animal milk
• alien plant fibers
• alien plant pod
• alien plant sample
• alien rock sample
• alien source code printout (used)
• alien toenails
• alien zoological sample
• alpine watercolor set
• anchor bomb
• anger blaster
• annealed drippy orb
• anniversary gift box
• antique tacklebox
• arse-shooting crossbow
• artisanal homebrew gift package
• artisanal homebrew sampler
• asteroid belt
• astral badger
• astronaut ice-cream
• august scepter
• avatar of the Unconscious Collective
• aviator goggles
• baby camelCalf
• baby chest mimic
• backup camera
• baconstone-handled sixgun
• bacteria bisque
• bad penguin egg
• bad vibroknife
• bag of Iunion stones
• balsam barrel
• banana split
• banana-frosted king cake
• baneful bandolier
• barnacled barrel
• basaltamander buckler
• basking robin
• bat wings
• battoo kit
• bauxite beret
• bauxite bow-tie
• bauxite boxers
• beautiful soup
• beet
• bejazzled eyepatch
• best joke ever
• bewitching boots
• big glob of skin
• big ol' trophy
• big tun
• biker's hat
• birthday candle
• bitter bowtie
• black brandy
• blank white card
• bloody kiwitini
• blue LavaCo Lamp™
• blue glowstick
• blue ribbon
• blue rocket
• blue traffic cone
• blueberry muffin
• body spradium
• bodyguard badge
• bodyslam
• bomb of unknown origin
• bone flour
• bone spurs
• boot plant
• bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon
• bottle of Goldschnöckered
• bottle of lovebug pheromones
• bottled Vampire Vintner
• bottled day
• bottled green pixie
• bowl of Tastee-Wheet™
• bowl of oriole's nest soup
• bowl of petunias
• box of Gratitude chocolates
• box of bear arms
• boxed Apriling band helmet
• boxed Mayam Calendar
• boxed Sept-Ember Censer
• boxed bat wings
• brass Dreadsylvanian flask
• briefcase full of sprinkles
• bucket of ancient Vampyre blood
• buffalo dime
• bugbear detector
• bugbear-smiting sword
• bundle of firewood
• burnt snowpants
• calm attention-deficit demon
• campfire baked potato
• campfire beans
• campfire coffee
• campfire hot dog
• campfire s'more
• campfire smoke
• campfire stew
• can of Rain-Doh
• can of V-11
• candy cane sword cane
• candy cornucopia
• candy egg deviler
• carbonite visor
• caustic slime nodule
• cement shoes
• chamoisole
• cheer extractor
• cherry bomb
• chili powder cutlass
• chocolate bath ball
• chocolate chip muffin
• chocolate puppy
• ciliophora chowder
• clan underground fireworks shop
• class five ecto-larva
• closed-circuit phone system
• clovermint
• coal paperweight
• coffee sprite
• cold medicine cabinet
• combat lover's locket
• comfy blanket
• complex alien plant sample
• complex alien zoological sample
• compounded experience
• conquistador's breastplate
• consolation ribbon
• container of Spooky Putty
• cool iron breastplate
• cool iron greaves
• cool iron helmet
• cooling iron breastplate
• cooling iron greaves
• cooling iron helmet
• cop dollar
• corked genie bottle
• corroded breeches
• corrosive cowl
• cosmic bucket
• cotton candy cocoon
• cozy bazooka
• cozy scimitar
• crate of fish meat
• crated wardrobe-o-matic
• crazy bastard sword
• cream of chloroplasts
• crimbo elfling
• crushed steamer trunk
• crystal belt buckle
• crystalline cheer
• cuckoo clock
• cup of "tea"
• cursed Aztec tamale
• cursed breeches
• cursed cutlass
• cursed eyepatch
• cursed magnifying glass
• cursed microwave
• cursed monkey glove
• cursed monkey's paw
• cursed pony keg
• cursed ring finger ring
• custom avatar form
• dandy lion cub
• deactivated putty buddy
• deanimated reanimator's coffin
• deed to Oliver's Place
• defective Game Grid token
• defective Golden Mr. Accessory
• deflated inflatable dodecapede
• deluxe Neverending Party favor
• demon makeup kit
• designer sweatpants
• designer sweatpants (new old stock)
• detective roscoe
• detective school application
• detour shield
• deviled candy egg
• diabolic pizza cube
• diabolical crossbow
• dirty bottlecap
• dirty martini
• discarded button
• disconnected intergnat
• disintegrating barrel
• doll-eye amulet
• doppelshifter egg
• double-candied yams
• doubt cannon
• dreadful box
• dreadful fedora
• dreadful glove
• dreadful sweater
• dreaming Jung man
• drippy bromide
• drippy diadem
• drippy flux
• drippy orb
• drippy pigment
• drippy shield
• drippy snail shell
• dungeon dragon chest
• dusty barrel
• earthenware muffin tin
• eerily silent box
• egg gun
• eldritch scanner
• eldritch tincture
• eldritch tincture (depleted)
• electrician's hardhat
• electronic Brain Trainer game
• elevenderizing hammer
• elevennis shoes
• elevent
• elf sleeper agent
• ember egg
• embering hunk
• emo roe
• emotion chip
• empty Rain-Doh can
• empty hourglass
• enchanted leopard-print barbell
• envelope full of Meat
• etched hourglass
• eternal knot tattoo
• evil flaming eyeball pendant
• evil noodles
• evil paper umbrella
• exclusive club
• exclusive ultra-rare item
• experimental carbon fiber pasta additive
• exploding cigar
• extra ooze
• extra special Crimbo stocking
• extra-hard jawbreaker
• fairy-worn boots
• fake washboard
• fancy party pants
• fascinating alien plant sample
• fascinating alien zoological sample
• fear condenser
• feathered headdress
• fettucini épines Inconnu recipe
• fetus-smashing club
• fire crackers
• fist turkey outline
• fistful of ashes
• fixodent
• flagellate flagon
• flagstone flagments
• flaming familiar doppelgänger
• flaming juggler's balls
• flaming leaf crown
• flaming pink shirt
• flapper floppers
• fleshy lump
• flickering pixel
• floaty stone sphere
• flyest of shirts
• foam commodore's hat
• foam naval trousers
• fossilized necklace
• fragile Christmas ornament
• fragment of Jarlsberg's soul
• frankincenser
• fresh coat of paint
• fried air
• frigid derringer
• funny paper hat
• fuzzy bracelets
• garbage sticker
• gasmask
• gattoo
• genie bottle
• genie's bracers
• genie's pants
• genie's scimitar
• genie's turbane
• ghost shawl
• giant diamond ring
• gilded BRICKO chalice
• ginger beer
• gingerbeard
• gingerbread gavel
• gingerbread moneybag
• gingerbread pistol
• gingerbread tophat
• gingerbread trousers
• gingerbread waistcoat
• glass of "milk"
• glass of raw eggs
• glowing frisbee
• goblin bone hilt
• goblin collarbone
• golden monkey statuette
• golden pet rock
• golden sausage
• golden tattoo gun
• gory drippy orb
• governor's daughter's lace collar
• governor's daughter's pearl hairpin
• governor's daughter's petticoats
• gravyskin buckler
• gravyskin hat
• gravyskin pants
• gravyskin skirt
• grease cannon
• greedy ghostling
• green LavaCo Lamp™
• green glowstick
• green pill
• green traffic cone
• gregarious ghostling
• grey gosling
• grinning ghostling
• grisly shield
• groggles
• grogtini
• guild application
• gumshoes
• haiku katana
• hair of the calf
• hairshirt
• half-height cigar
• hamethyst-handled sixgun
• hand of Mr. Cards
• hand turkey outline
• hand-knitted Crimbo socks
• handful of split pea soup
• hangman's hood
• hardened slime hat
• hardened slime pants
• hare pin
• harpoon
• haunted bindle
• haunted doghouse
• hazardous sauce dosimeter
• hazmat helmet
• head of emberg lettuce
• heart-shaped crate
• hemlock helm
• hemp backpack
• heteroerotic frat-paddle
• hewn moon-rune spoon
• hi-density nylocite leg armor
• hibernating Grimstone Golem
• hibernating robot reindeer
• high-end ginger wine
• high-temperature mining drill
• hippo tutu
• hobo code binder
• hockey stick of furious angry rage
• holiday smorgasbord
• holiday trip around the world
• homeless hobo spirit
• homemade robot
• hopeful candle
• hourglass
• hungover chauvinist pig
• hypnodisk
• ice baby
• ice pick
• ice sickle
• ice skates
• iceberglet
• in-the-box spring shoes
• incredibly dense meat gem
• indie comic hipster glasses
• industrial fire extinguisher
• industrial frosting
• inert sludgepuppy
• infant sandworm
• infinite BACON machine
• inflammable leaf
• innuendo
• interesting clod of dirt
• intergalactic pom poms
• intricate music box parts
• isotophat
• ittah bittah hookah
• jar of frostigkraut
• jitterbug larva
• jolly roger tattoo kit
• jug of Sneaky Pete's Mojo
• kelp-holly drape
• kerosene-soaked skip
• kevlateflocite helmet
• kill screen
• kitten burglar
• labrador cookie
• large pile of sand
• large stone triangle
• laser cannon
• laser targeting chip
• latte lovers club card
• latte lovers member's mug
• lava balaclava
• lavalarva
• leafy browns
• leather aviator's cap
• left bear arm
• li'l ghost costume
• li'l orphan tot
• liar's pants
• little box of fireworks
• little deuce cape
• little firkin
• llama lama cria
• locked mumming trunk
• longbox of Batfellow comics
• loofah lumps
• loose blade
• love
• lucky Tam O'Shanter
• lucky Tam O'Shatner
• lucky army helmet
• lucky gold ring
• lucky napkin
• lump of bauxite
• lump of not really wriggling eldritch matter
• lupine appetite hormones
• lustrous drippy orb
• luxury fly-tying workbench
• machine elf capsule
• mafia pointer finger ring
• mafia wedding ring
• magical battery
• magical sausage
• magical sausage casing
• malevolent medallion
• map to Anemone Mine
• map to Dolph Bossin's hideout
• map to Madness Reef
• map to the Dive Bar
• map to the Marinara Trench
• map to the Skate Park
• mayfly bait necklace
• meatball machine
• mechanically-mulled cider
• medium stone triangle
• messenger bag RNA
• meteorb
• meteorite earring
• meteorite fragment
• meteorite guard
• meteorite necklace
• meteorite ring
• meteortarboard
• meteorthopedic shoes
• mime army insignia (cryonics)
• mime army insignia (espionage)
• mime army insignia (infantry)
• mime army insignia (morale)
• mime army insignia (psychological warfare)
• mime army insignia (pyrotechnics)
• mime army insignia (sanitation)
• mime pocket probe
• mime-proof sunglasses
• mini kiwi egg
• mini kiwi whipping stick
• miniature Embering Hulk
• miniature deck cannon
• miniature gravy-covered maypole
• miniscule temporal rip
• mint condition Lil' Doctor™ bag
• mint-in-box Powerful Glove
• moaiball
• model train set
• moist barrel
• molten medallion
• moon-amber necklace
• moss floss
• mouldering barrel
• moveable feast
• mummified entombed cookbookbat
• mumming trunk
• murderbot memory chip
• mutant cactus bud
• mutant crown
• mutant fire ant egg
• mutant gila monster egg
• mutant legs
• mutant rattlesnake egg
• myrrh pouch
• mysterious chest
• name change form
• nativity shorts
• naughty fortune teller
• naughty origami kit
• naughty paper shuriken
• nauseating reagent
• navel ring of navel gazing
• neck wreath
• nervous tick egg
• nest egg
• newly-hatched mayonnaise wasp
• normal barrel
• norwhal helmet
• note from Clancy
• novelty monorail ticket
• nylon Christmas stockings
• octolus-skin cloak
• off-hand balloon
• offensive moustache
• old school Mafia knickerbockers
• old-fashioned Crimbo Pressie
• one million meat pancakes
• optimal spreadsheet
• orange glowstick
• orange traffic cone
• organ grinder
• origami "gentlemen's" magazine
• origami pasties
• origami riding crop
• ornamental sextant
• orphan baby yeti
• outrageous sombrero
• over-the-shoulder Folder Holder
• packaged Daylight Shavings Helmet
• packaged Everfull Dart Holster
• packaged June cleaver
• packaged Jurassic Parka
• packaged Pocket Professor
• packaged Roman Candelabra
• packaged SpinMaster™ lathe
• packaged industrial fire extinguisher
• packaged knock-off retro superhero cape
• packaged luxury garment
• packaged model train set
• packet of beer seeds
• packet of dragon's teeth
• packet of mayfly bait
• packet of mushroom spores
• packet of pumpkin seeds
• packet of rock seeds
• packet of tall grass seeds
• packet of thanksgarden seeds
• packet of winter seeds
• panicked kernel
• pantogram
• paraffin palazzos
• paraffin pendant
• paraffin pith helmet
• paraffin poncho
• paraffin pseudoaccordion
• paraffin punching bag
• party crasher
• party pup
• party whip
• passed-out psychedelic bear
• pea brittle
• peace shooter
• peace turkey outline
• peasco sour
• peaza
• perfect Christmas scarf
• perfectly fair coin
• perfectly ordinary frog
• pernicious cudgel
• personal raindrop
• personalized wassail stein
• pet bad vibe
• photo booth sized crate
• piece of cake
• pig-iron bracers
• pile of useless robot parts
• pine cone necklace
• pink glowstick
• pint of sweat
• pirate fork
• pirate hook
• pirate pantaloons
• pirate radio ring
• piratical blunderbuss
• pirrrate's currrse
• plans for depleted Grimacite astrolabe
• plans for depleted Grimacite grappling hook
• plans for depleted Grimacite gravy boat
• plans for depleted Grimacite hammer
• plans for depleted Grimacite ninja mask
• plans for depleted Grimacite shinguards
• plans for depleted Grimacite weightlifting belt
• plastic pumpkin bucket
• plastic vampire fangs
• plexifoam chin strap
• plush sea serpent
• polished moon-amber
• polymorphic fastening apparatus
• pompadour'd puppy
• porquoise-handled sixgun
• portable Mayo Clinic
• portable pantogram
• potato jacket
• potted power plant
• potted tea tree
• powdered dice
• power seed
• praying Grim Brother
• present
• primitive alien blowgun
• primitive alien loincloth
• primitive alien necklace
• primitive alien spear
• primitive alien totem
• profane eye patch
• prohie's hat
• proto-proto-protozoa
• protonic accelerator pack
• psychic's amulet
• psychic's circlet
• psychic's crystal ball
• psychic's pslacks
• psychoanalytic jar
• pumpkin spice whorl
• punch-drunk punch
• purple glowstick
• purpleheart "pants"
• purpleheart logs
• puzzling ribbon
• puzzling trophy
• pygmy bugbear shaman
• quantized familiar
• quantized familiar experience
• quantum watch
• raffle prize box
• raffle ticket
• ragged wool yarn
• rainbow pearl
• rainbow pearl earring
• rainbow pearl necklace
• rainbow pearl ring
• ratskin pajama pants
• real cowboy hat
• really nice lump of coal
• record of infuriating silence (used)
• record of menacing silence (used)
• record of tranquil silence (used)
• recovered cufflinks
• red LavaCo Lamp™
• red plumber's boots
• red rocket
• red traffic cone
• red-hot medallion
• red-spotted snapper roe
• redwood rain stick
• regret hose
• rehearsing dramatic hedgehog
• reliable sixgun
• repaid diaper
• replica Ten Dollars
• replica bat-oomerang
• replica key
• research fragment
• right bear arm
• room scale green bean casserole
• rose-colored glasses
• rotting barrel
• rubber WWBBDD? bracelet
• rum ball
• rune-strewn spoon cocoon
• rusty metal greaves
• rxr shield
• s'more
• saffron antaravasaka
• saffron uttarasanga
• salty drippy candy bar
• sane hatrack
• sangria del diablo
• sardine can key
• sausage golem
• seal medal
• second-hand knockoff engagement ring
• secret from the future
• set of Unobtainium straps
• shadow candy
• shadowy cheat sheet
• sharp tin strip
• shooting morning star
• shortest-order cook
• shot of Sneaky Pete's Mojo
• shrine to the Barrel god
• shrink-wrapped 2002 Mr. Store Catalog
• shrink-wrapped Cincho de Mayo
• siesta-ing Casagnova gnome
• silent A
• silent K
• silent R
• silent nightlight
• silicon-infused gluteal shield
• silk garter snake
• silky pirate drawers
• silver Dreadsylvanian flask
• silver cow creamer
• silver sausage
• single atom
• sinister ancient tablet
• sinister demon mask
• sinistral homunculus
• skewered cherry
• skewered jumbo olive
• skewered lime
• skull capacitor
• slap and slap again recipe
• sleeping patriotic eagle
• sleeping piano cat
• sleeping profane parrot
• slime-covered compass
• slime-covered greaves
• slime-covered helmet
• slime-covered lantern
• slime-covered shovel
• slime-covered speargun
• slime-covered staff
• slime-soaked hypophysis
• slime-soaked sweat gland
• slippery when wet shield
• small Crimbo Pressie
• small golem
• small stone triangle
• smoldering bagel punch
• sneakeasies
• sneaky wrapping paper
• snowman-enchanting tophat
• sober pill
• soft cap of diminishing returns
• solid shifting time weirdness
• sorority girl's box
• soul monocle
• space pirate treasure map
• space planula
• space trooper helmet
• spaghetti breakfast
• spant backplate
• spant egg casing
• spant shield
• spant shoulderpads
• spant spear
• spants
• spare chocolate parts
• sparkly engagement ring
• special edition Batfellow comic
• speed limit shield
• spinal-fluid-covered emotion chip
• spinning wheel
• spooky rattling cigar box
• spring shoes
• sprinkles
• squamous polyp
• squirming Slime larva
• squirmy violent party snack
• stained glass serape
• stained glass shards
• stained glass shield
• stained glass shiv
• stained glass spectacles
• stained glass stetson
• stained glass suspenders
• standards and practices guide
• status cymbal
• steaming evil
• steel knuckles
• sticky sword blade
• still grill
• stinky cheese ball
• stinky cheese diaper
• stinky cheese eye
• stinky cheese sword
• stinky cheese wheel
• stinky fannypack
• stop shield
• strange stone pyramid
• streetfighting champion's belt
• structural ember
• stuffed-shirt scarecrow
• styrofoam peanuts
• subscription cocoa dispenser
• sugar raygun
• super-heated leaf
• super-sweet boom box
• suspicious package
• suspicious stocking
• sweet nutcracker
• sweet potato o' mine
• sweet potato punch
• tabletop candy dispenser
• talisman of Seshat
• talkative skull
• talking spade
• tankard of spiced Goldschlepper
• tankard of spiced rum
• tattoo gun
• tattoo of two turkeys
• tearaway pants
• tempura air
• terra cotta trousers
• terra cotta truss
• testy toolbox
• the finger
• thermos of "whiskey"
• throwin' ember
• tie-dye headband
• tie-dyed fannypack
• time-twitching toolbelt
• tin rations
• tiny Tina gun
• tiny black hole
• tiny consolation ribbon
• tiny costume wardrobe
• tiny ember
• tiny frozen prehistoric meteorite jawbreaker
• tiny plastic "Santa Claus"
• tiny plastic Colonel Brando
• tiny plastic Jarlsberg
• tiny plastic Jedediah and Boiling Cloud
• tiny plastic Naughty Sorceress
• tiny plastic Sneaky Pete
• tiny plastic St. Patrick
• tiny plastic Susie
• tiny plastic spoiler
• tiny stillsuit
• toxic mop
• toxo
• trench lighter
• tropical Crimbo pressie
• trusty torch
• turchucken
• twitching space egg
• ultimate wad
• unbreakable umbrella
• undamaged Unbreakable Umbrella
• undrilled cosmic bowling ball
• unearthed volcanic meteoroid
• unemployed hunchbacked minion
• unfinished ice sculpture
• uniclops egg
• unoccupied sheep suit
• unopened Bird-a-Day calendar
• unopened diabolic pizza cube box
• unopened tiny stillsuit
• unpowered Robortender
• untorn tearaway pants package
• unwound cymbal-playing monkey
• unwound mechanical songbird
• unwrapped knock-off retro superhero cape
• vampire glitter
• vampyric cloake
• vampyric cloake pattern
• vanilla-frosted king cake
• velour valise
• velour vambraces
• velour vaqueros
• velour veil
• velour veneer
• velour viscometer
• velour voulge
• vesper
• villainous scythe
• void burger
• void lager
• void stone
• voodoo doll
• voter registration form
• wad of Crovacite
• wad of cotton
• wad of spider silk
• wand of pigification
• warbear bearserker greaves
• warbear black box
• warbear electric long johns
• warbear electric warscarf
• warbear electro-spiked helm
• warbear empathy chip (used)
• warbear feathered fedora
• warbear nuclear bowtie
• warbear snowblindness goggles
• warbear spiked helm
• wardrobe-o-matic
• warehouse key
• wax face
• wax hand
• wax lips
• weathered barrel
• webbed comic mask
• weedy skirt
• western-style skinning knife
• whirled peas
• white Dreadsylvanian
• white-label gin
• witch's bra
• wizard action figure
• wolf whistle
• world's most unappetizing beverage
• wormwood stick
• wormwood wedding ring
• wrapping paper
• wriggling worm
• writhing drippy candy bar
• wumpus-hair sweater
• xo-skeleton-in-a-box
• yam battery
• yellow glowstick
• yellow puck
• yellow puck with a bow on it
• yellow rocket
• yellow traffic cone
• yield shield
• yuletide troll chrysalis
• zombie accordion
• zombie mariachi hat
• zombie monkey necklace