In their foolhardy quest to collect every item, this player comes 2,100 short.

• Franken Stein
• "Humorous" T-shirt
• "I survived Y2K" T-Shirt
• "caramel" orange
• 'Villa' document
• 1 Meat
• 11-leaf clover
• 17-ball
• 20-lb can of rice and beans
• 2002 Mr. Store Catalog
• A Guide to Burning Leaves
• A Guide to Safari
• Abuela Crimbo's special magnet
• Acqua Del Piatto Merlot
• Acque Luride Grezze Cabernet
• Admiral's hat
• Adventurer bobblehead
• Adventurer's Kit
• Agent Mauve
• Alice's Army booster box
• Amulet of Perpetual Darkness
• Annual Ascot
• Antagonistic Snowman Kit
• Apathargic Bandersnatch
• Apriling band helmet
• Arr, M80
• Arrow (+1)
• Ascension Souvenir T-Shirt
• Asdon Martin keyfob (on ring)
• AutumnFest ale
• Ax of L'rose
• Azurite
• Bag o' Tricks
• Baja sopapilla
• Banfoy's Boutique Order Form
• Baron von Ratsworth's money clip
• Bash-Ōs boxtop
• Bastille Battalion Fondue Trophy
• Bastille Battalion control rig
• Batfellow comic
• Beach Comb
• Bee's Knees
• Bigger Bugfinder Blade
• Bird-a-Day calendar
• Black Bart's Booty
• Black and White Apron Enrollment Form
• Black and White Apron Meal Kit
• Bloodbath
• Boltsmann ID badge
• Book of Old-Timey Carols
• Boris's beer
• Boris's bread
• Breathitin™
• Bugfinder Blade
• Byte
• Calzone of Legend
• Cargo Cultist Shorts
• Carol of the Bulls (used)
• Carol of the Hells (used)
• Carol of the Thrills (used)
• Carpathian longsword
• Cat-Herding Prod
• Caveman Dan's favorite rock
• Chalice of the Malkovich Prince
• Champagne Shimmy
• Charleston Choo-Choo
• Charleston shoes
• Charter: Nellyville
• Cheshire Bitten
• ChibiBuddy™ (on)
• Children's Meal of the Damned
• Cincho de Mayo
• Clan Carnival Game
• Clan Floundry
• Clan VIP Lounge key
• Clan hot dog stand
• Clan looking glass
• Clan pool table
• Clan shower
• Clan speakeasy
• Clara's bell
• Cocktails of the Age of Sail
• Cocktails of the Age of Sail (used)
• Cold One
• Colera Peste Nebbiolo
• Comma Chameleon egg
• Counterclockwise Watch
• Crimbo Elf creepy bobble-head
• Crimbo P. R. E. S. S. I. E.
• Crimbo bottomless hot cocoa mug
• Crimbo cookie sheet
• Crimbo crystal shards
• Crimbo dinner
• Crimbo food scraps
• Crimbo hat
• Crimbo light-up Rudolph doll
• Crimbo pants
• Crimbo pressie
• Crimbo smile
• Crimbo stocking
• Crimbo stockings
• Crimbo stogie-scented room odorizer
• Crimbo sword
• Crimbo train emergency brake
• Crimbo training manual
• Crimbo tree flocker
• Crimbosmopolitan
• Crimbot ROM: Mathematical Precision (dirty)
• Crimbot ROM: Rapid Prototyping (dirty)
• Crimbot ROM: Ruthless Efficiency (dirty)
• Crimbot schematic: Data Analyzer
• Crimbot schematic: Ribbon Manipulator
• Crimbow Rainbo
• Crimbuccaneer bombjacket
• Crimbuccaneer breeches
• Crimbuccaneer captain's purse
• Crimbuccaneer fledges (disintegrating)
• Crimbuccaneer fledges (mint)
• Crimbuccaneer flotsam
• Crimbuccaneer invasion map
• Crimbuccaneer lantern
• Crimbuccaneer mologrog cocktail
• Crimbuccaneer nose ring
• Crimbuccaneer piece of 12
• Crimbuccaneer premium booty sack
• Crimbuccaneer rigging lasso
• Crimbuccaneer runebone
• Crimbuccaneer shirt
• Crimbuccaneer squirtblunderbuss
• Crimbuccaneer tattoo gift certificate
• Crimbuccaneer tavern swab
• Crimbuccaneer tricorn
• Crimbuccaneer war standard
• Crimbuccaneer whale oil
• DIY protonic accelerator kit
• Dad's brandy
• Dallas Dynasty Falcon Crest shield
• Dark Jill-O-Lantern
• Dark Jill-of-All-Trades
• Daylight Shavings Helmet
• Deactivated MiniMechaElf
• Deck of Every Card
• Deep Dish of Legend
• Diamond HP-35 Calculator
• Discount Telescope Warehouse gift certificate
• Doc's Fortifying Wine
• Doc's Limbering Wine
• Doc's Medical-Grade Wine
• Doc's Smartifying Wine
• Doc's Special Reserve Wine
• Doll Moll violin case
• Dolph Bossin's charity note
• Dragonscale breastplate
• Drapes-You-Regally
• Dreadsylvania Auditor's badge
• Dreadsylvanian clockwork key
• Dreadsylvanian shepherd's pie
• Drunkula's bell
• Drunkula's cape
• Drunkula's wineglass
• Duke Vampire's regal cloak
• Dungeon Fist gauntlet
• Ed the Undying exhibit crate
• Eight Days a Week Pill Keeper
• El Vibrato Megadrone
• El Vibrato restraints
• El Vibrato translator
• El Vibrato trapezoid
• Elf Army machine parts
• Elf Guard Field Manual: Culinary Arts
• Elf Guard Field Manual: Culinary Arts (used)
• Elf Guard Field Manual: Extortion
• Elf Guard Field Manual: Extortion (used)
• Elf Guard Field Manual: Wilderness Sleeping
• Elf Guard Field Manual: Wilderness Sleeping (used)
• Elf Guard MPC
• Elf Guard SCUBA tank
• Elf Guard broom
• Elf Guard clipboard
• Elf Guard commandeering gloves
• Elf Guard eyedrops
• Elf Guard fuel tank
• Elf Guard hangover cure
• Elf Guard honor present
• Elf Guard hotpants
• Elf Guard insignia (general)
• Elf Guard insignia (private)
• Elf Guard mouthknife
• Elf Guard officer's sidearm
• Elf Guard patrol cap
• Elf Guard payroll bag
• Elf Guard red and white beret
• Elf Guard safety bear
• Elf Guard squirtgun
• Elf Guard strategic map
• Elf Guard temporary (permanent) tattoo
• Elf Guard tinsel grenade
• Elf Guard war standard
• Elizabeth's Dollie
• Ellsbury's journal
• Ellsbury's journal (used)
• Elvish sunglasses
• Elvish underarmor
• Emblem of Ak'gyxoth
• Essence of Annoyance
• Essence of Bear
• Everfull Dart Holster
• Extrovermectin™
• Eye Agate
• Eye and a Twist
• Fancy Jeff's fancy pocket square
• FantasyRealm mead
• FantasyRealm turkey leg
• Ferita Del Petto Zinfandel
• Field Guide to Skeletal Anatomy
• First Post shirt - Cir Senam
• First Post shirt package
• Flag by the Foot™
• Flash Liquidizer Ultra Dousing Accessory
• Fleshazole™
• Flivver
• Folder Holder
• Fourth of May Cosplay Saber
• Frank Gorshin trophy
• French slippers
• French-Transylvanian Dictionary
• Game Grid valued membership card
• GameInformPowerDailyPro subscription card
• General Assembly Module
• Giant black monolith
• Ginsu™
• Glenn's golden dice
• Gnomish sagngria
• Golden HP-35 Calculator
• Golden Mr. Eh?
• Good 'n' Quiet
• Goodfella contract
• Granny Hackleton's Gatling gun
• Great Ball of Frozen Fire
• Great S-Cape
• Great Wolf's headband
• Great Wolf's left paw
• Great Wolf's lice
• Great Wolf's right paw
• Great Wolf's rocket launcher
• Gregarious Gregorian Smock
• Grimacite Bock
• Grimacite gaiters
• Grimacite galoshes
• Grimacite garter
• Grimacite gasmask
• Grimacite gat
• Grimacite gauntlets
• Grimacite girdle
• Grimacite glaive
• Grimacite go-go boots
• Grimacite goggles
• Grimacite gorget
• Grimacite gown
• Grimacite greaves
• Grimacite guayabera
• Grumpy Bumpkin's Pumpkin Seed Catalog
• Gummi-Memory
• Guzzlr souvenir stein
• Guzzlr tattoo kit
• Guzzlrbuck
• Gygaxian Libram
• HOA zombie eyes
• HP-35 Calculator
• Hanukkimbo dreidl
• Hat O' Nine Tails
• Helps-You-Sleep
• Hjodor's Guide to Arctic Dalmatians
• Hjodor's Guide to Arctic Dalmatians (used)
• Hodgman's imaginary hamster
• Holiday Hal's Happy-Time Fun Book!
• Homebodyl™
• Hot Socks
• Hotwire™ brand candy rope
• How to Hold a Grudge
• Humpty Dumplings
• Idol of Ak'gyxoth
• Inigo's Incantation of Inspiration
• Ish Kabibble
• Island Drinkin', a Tiki Mixology Odyssey
• Item #13
• Iunion Crown
• Jamaican coffee
• January's Garbage Tote
• Jarlsberg's pan
• Jarlsberg's vegetable soup
• Jekyllin hide belt
• Jeppson's Malort
• Jick's autograph
• Jick-o-User
• June cleaver
• Junior Adventurer's kit
• Junior Adventurer's merit badge
• Junior LAAAAME merit badge
• Jurassic Parka
• Kelflar vest
• KoL Con 12-gauge
• KoL Con 13 snowglobe
• KoL Con 3-D Glasses
• KoL Con 8-Bit power bracelet
• KoL Con Cinco Piñata Bat
• KoL Con IV Pole
• KoL Con Six Pack
• KoL Con X Bingo Card
• KoL Con X Treasure Map
• KoLHS Pep Squad Box
• Kramco Sausage-o-Matic™
• LARP carp
• LARP membership card
• LED candle
• LOV Echinacea Bouquet
• LOV Entrance Pass
• LT&T telegraph office deed
• LWA ring
• Lapis Lazuli
• Lava Miner's Daughter
• Lavalos's shell
• Law of Averages
• Leapin' Trousers
• Left-Hand Man action figure
• Letter from Carrie Bradshaw
• Liam's mail
• Libram of BRICKOs
• Libram of Candy Heart Summoning
• Libram of Love Songs
• Libram of Pulled Taffy
• License to Chill
• Lil' Snowball Factory
• Loathing Idol Microphone
• Loathing Idol Microphone (25% charged)
• Loathing Idol Microphone (50% charged)
• Loathing Idol Microphone (75% charged)
• Loathing Legion abacus
• Loathing Legion can opener
• Loathing Legion chainsaw
• Loathing Legion corkscrew
• Loathing Legion defibrillator
• Loathing Legion double prism
• Loathing Legion electric knife
• Loathing Legion flamethrower
• Loathing Legion hammer
• Loathing Legion helicopter
• Loathing Legion jackhammer
• Loathing Legion kitchen sink
• Loathing Legion many-purpose hook
• Loathing Legion moondial
• Loathing Legion necktie
• Loathing Legion pizza stone
• Loathing Legion rollerblades
• Loathing Legion tape measure
• Loathing Legion tattoo needle
• Loathing Legion universal screwdriver
• Lobster qua Grill
• London frog
• Lucky Lindy
• LyleCo premium magnifying glass
• LyleCo premium monocle
• LyleCo premium pickaxe
• LyleCo premium rope
• MAHI fez
• Mafia bow tie
• Mafia stogie
• Mafia violin case
• Maiali Sifilitici Pinot Noir
• Mallomarbles
• Mansquito Serum
• Manual of Numberology
• Manual of Secret Door Detection
• Manual of Transcendent Olfaction
• Map to Kokomo
• March hat
• Marltini
• Martialest Arts trophy
• Marvelous Unitard
• Master Thief's utility belt
• MayDay™ contract
• Mayam Calendar
• Mayam spinach
• Mayflower bouquet
• Mayor Ghost's cloak
• Mayor Ghost's gavel
• Mayor Ghost's khakis
• Mayor Ghost's sash
• Meat Butler
• Meatcleaver
• Memories of Beanslinging
• Memories of Cow Punching
• Memories of Snake Oiling
• Memory Disk, Alpha
• Mer-kin darkbook
• Mer-kin facecowl
• Mer-kin knucklebone
• Mer-kin waistrope
• Merc Core Field Manual: Intimidation Techniques
• Merc Core Field Manual: Sanity Maintenance
• Merc Core challenge coin
• Merc Core deployment orders
• Meteoid ice beam
• Mjolnir Jr.
• Mmm-brr! brand mouthwash
• Mob Penguin protection contract
• Moping Artistic Goth Kid
• Mountain Stream gastrique
• Mr. Accessaturday
• Mr. Big's Wallet
• Mr. Container
• Mr. Exploiter
• Mr. Screege's spectacles
• Mr. Shirt
• Mrs. Rush
• Mt. Noob Pale Ale
• Mu
• Murgatroyd diode
• My First Paycheck envelope
• My Life of Crime, a Memoir
• Mysterious Black Box
• Mysterious Blue Box
• Mysterious Green Box
• Mysterious Red Box
• Mysterious Stranger
• N. O. Beer
• Napalm In The Morning™ candle
• Never Don't Stop Not Striving
• Newbiesport™ backpack
• No Hats as Art
• Official Seal of Dreadsylvania
• Olympic-sized Clan crate
• Oopsie IPA
• Operation Patriot Shield
• Oscus's flypaper pants
• Otorian Battle Scar
• Pack of Every Card
• Panda outfit
• Pener's drumstick
• Periodical Paintbrush
• Pete & Jackie's Dragon Tooth Emporium Catalog
• Pete's rich ricotta
• Pete's wiley whey bar
• Petite Paintbrush
• Phonus Balonus
• Pizza of Legend
• Platinum HP-35 Calculator
• Pocket Guide to Mild Evil
• Pocket Guide to Mild Evil (used)
• Power-Guy 2000 holo-record
• Powerful Glove
• Professor of Spelunkology
• Protects-Your-Junk
• Quartet of Flare Masters Jacket
• Quiets-Your-Steps
• ROM of Optimality
• Racisto Ruidoso
• Rad-B-Gone (1 lb.)
• Rad-Pro (1 oz.)
• Radio Free Baseball Cap
• Radio Free Foil
• Radio Free Jersey
• Radio Free Pants
• Radio KoL Antenna Ball
• Radio KoL Bottle Opener
• Radio KoL Coffee Mug
• Radio KoL Flashlight
• Radio KoL Keychain
• Radio KoL Maracas
• Radio KoL Patch
• Rainbow Jello Mould
• Rainbow's Gravity
• Recipe of Before Yore: Boris's beer
• Recipe of Before Yore: Boris's bread
• Recipe of Before Yore: Calzone of Legend
• Recipe of Before Yore: Deep Dish of Legend
• Recipe of Before Yore: Jarlsberg's vegetable soup
• Recipe of Before Yore: Pete's rich ricotta
• Recipe of Before Yore: Pete's wily whey bar
• Recipe of Before Yore: Pizza of Legend
• Recipe of Before Yore: St. Pete's sneaky smoothie
• Recipe of Before Yore: baked veggie ricotta
• Recipe of Before Yore: honey bun of Boris
• Recipe of Before Yore: plain calzone
• Recipe of Before Yore: ratatouille de Jarlsberg
• Recipe of Before Yore: roasted vegetable focaccia
• Recipe of Before Yore: roasted vegetable of J.
• Red Balloon of Valor
• Red Fox glove
• Red Roger tattoo kit
• Red Roger's reliquary
• Retrospecs
• Rock Garden Guide
• Roman Candelabra
• Royal scepter
• S.I.T. Course Completion Certificate
• S.I.T. Course Voucher
• SMOOCH coffee cup
• STYX deodorant body spray
• SalesCo sample kit
• Salsa Caliente™ candle
• Satan hat
• Scandalously Skimpy Bikini
• Scent of a Human™ candle
• Sceptre of the Torremolinos Prince
• Schmalz's First Prize Beer
• School of Hard Knocks Diploma
• Scorpion Bowl
• Scratch 'n' Sniff Sticker Tome
• Scurvy and Sobriety Prevention
• Seasonal Beret
• Senior LAAAAME merit badge
• Sept-Ember Censer
• Septapus summoning charm
• Seven Loco
• Sexy Cosmo
• Shrieking Weasel holo-record
• Shrub's Premium Baked Beans
• Siberian sunrise
• Site Alpha ID badge
• Size XI Wizard's Robe
• Skipper's accordion
• Sloppy Jalopy
• Smoldering Clover™ candle
• Smuggler's Punch
• Sneaky Pete's leather jacket (collar popped)
• Sockdollager
• Solstice Shield
• Sombrero De Vida
• SongBoom™ BoomBox
• Sorcerers of the Shore Grimoire
• Source essence
• Source shades
• Source terminal ASHRAM chip
• Source terminal CRAM chip
• Source terminal DIAGRAM chip
• Source terminal DRAM chip
• Source terminal GRAM chip
• Source terminal INGRAM chip
• Source terminal PRAM chip
• Source terminal SCRAM chip
• Source terminal SPAM chip
• Source terminal TRAM chip
• Source terminal TRIGRAM chip
• Source terminal file: compress.edu
• Source terminal file: cram.ext
• Source terminal file: critical.enh
• Source terminal file: damage.enh
• Source terminal file: dram.ext
• Source terminal file: duplicate.edu
• Source terminal file: familiar.ext
• Source terminal file: gram.ext
• Source terminal file: portscan.edu
• Source terminal file: pram.ext
• Source terminal file: protect.enq
• Source terminal file: spam.ext
• Source terminal file: stats.enq
• Source terminal file: substats.enh
• Source terminal file: tram.ext
• Source terminal file: turbo.edu
• Southern yam
• Souvenir Chopsticks
• Sp'n-Zor's Grimoire of "Tasteful" Gifts
• Spacegate Initiative tattoo unit
• Spacegate emergency disintegrator
• Spacegate military insignia
• Spasmi Dolorosi Del Rene Champagne
• Special™ Sauce
• SpinMaster™ lathe
• Spooky Putty ball
• Spooky Putty leotard
• Spooky Putty mitre
• Spooky Putty monster
• Spooky Putty snake
• Spooky VHS Tape
• Spookyraven signet
• Spring Bros. ID badge
• Spring Bros. solenoid
• St. Pete's sneaky smoothie
• St. Sneaky Pete's Whey
• Stabonic scroll
• Staff of Blood and Pudding
• Staff of Frozen Lard
• Staff of Kitchen Royalty
• Staff of Queso Escusado
• Staff of the Black Kettle
• Staff of the Cozy Fish
• Staff of the Electric Range
• Staff of the Grease Trap
• Staff of the Greasefire
• Staff of the Kitchen Floor
• Staff of the Midnight Snack
• Staff of the November Jack-O-Lantern
• Staff of the Peppermint Twist
• Staff of the Roaring Hearth
• Staff of the Scummy Sink
• Staff of the Short Order Cook
• Staff of the Soupbone
• Staff of the Well-Tempered Cauldron
• Staff of the Woodfire
• Star of Bravery
• Steam Card: Jackass Plumber (#1)
• Steamboat
• Stephen's lab coat
• Strong, Silent Type
• Stupid University Diploma
• Superdrifter holo-record
• Superhero Reboots
• Swedish coffee
• Sword of Procedural Generation
• Sword of the Brouhaha Prince
• Tales of Dread
• Tales of the Word Realms
• Talisman of Bakula
• Temporal Tempera Tube
• The Author's ink
• The Author's inkwell
• The Beast Within™ candle
• The Big Book of Communism
• The Big Book of Communism (used)
• The Big Book of Every Skill
• The Chill of the Wild
• The Cocktail Shaker
• The Crown of Ed the Undying
• The Encyclopedia of Fruit
• The Encyclopedia of Fruit (used)
• The Eye of the Thing in the Basement
• The Fingernail of the Thing in the Basement
• The Firegate Tapes
• The Ghoul King's ghoulottes
• The Groose in the Hoose
• The Inquisitor's unidentifiable object
• The Kloop in the Coop
• The Legendary Beat
• The Necbromancer's Shorts
• The Necbromancer's Stein
• The Necbromancer's Wizard Staff
• The Necbronomicon (used)
• The Nose Knows, A Guide to Smells
• The Nose Knows, A Guide to Smells (read)
• The Nuge's favorite crossbow
• The Pigs holo-record
• The Smith's Tome
• The Superconductor's CPU
• Thinknerd's Grimoire of Geeky Gifts
• Thor's Pliers
• Thunkula's drinking cap
• Thwaitgold Illinigina illinoiensis model
• Thwaitgold anti-moth statuette
• Thwaitgold fairyfly statue
• Thwaitgold fire beetle statuette
• Thwaitgold harvestman statuette
• Thwaitgold listening bug statuette
• Thwaitgold metabug statuette
• Thwaitgold mosquito-in-amber statuette
• Thwaitgold nit statuette
• Thwaitgold protozoa statuette
• Thwaitgold quantum bug statuette
• Thwaitgold shield bug statuette
• Thwaitgold splendor beetle statuette
• Thwaitgold time fly statuette
• Thwaitgold wheel bug statuette
• Thwaitgold wolf spider statuette
• Tickle-Me Emilio
• Time Bandit Badge of Courage
• Time Juice
• Time-Spinner
• Toddler-sized Dragon Costume
• Tome of Clip Art
• Tome of Rad Libs
• Tome of Snowcone Summoning
• Tome of Sugar Shummoning
• Too Cold to Hold: How to Be Cool - A Memoir
• Too Cold to Hold: How to Be Cool - A Memoir (read)
• Toot Oriole care package
• Totally Gay Claymore
• Trainbot autoassembly module
• Trainbot circuitry
• Trainbot harness
• Trainbot linkages
• Trainbot luggage hook
• Trainbot optics
• Trainbot plating
• Trainbot radar monocle
• Trainbot servomotors
• Trainbot slag
• Trainbot tubing
• Travoltan trousers
• Trout Fishing in Loathing
• Truthsayer
• Turtle Bowl
• Twitching Television Tattoo
• Ultra Mega Sour Ball
• Unagnimated Gnome
• Uncle Hobo's gift baggy pants
• Underworld acorn
• Underworld flail
• Underworld sapling
• Underworld truncheon
• Underworld trunk
• Unfortunato's foolscap
• Unionize The Elves sign
• Universal Seasoning
• Unkillable Skeleton's breastplate
• Unkillable Skeleton's restless leg
• Unkillable Skeleton's shield
• Unkillable Skeleton's shinguards
• Unopened Eight Days a Week Pill Keeper
• Uovo Marcio Shiraz
• VYKEA blood rune
• VYKEA frenzy rune
• VYKEA lightning rune
• Val-U Brand Every Bean Salad
• Valentine's Day cake
• Vegetable of Jarlsberg
• Velougats™
• Velvet Veil
• Vial of jus de larmes
• Voluminous Radio Hat
• Voluminous Radio Pants
• Voluminous Radio Sneakers
• Wal-Mart tattoo kit
• Warehouse 23 bling
• Warehouse 23 crate
• Warms-Your-Tush
• White Dragon Fang
• Wickers bar
• Witchess Set
• X-32-F snowman crate
• Xi Receiver Unit
• Xiblaxian 5D printer
• Xiblaxian holo-wrist-puter
• Xiblaxian residence-cube
• Xiblaxian space-whiskey
• Xiblaxian stealth cowl
• Xiblaxian stealth trousers
• Xiblaxian stealth vest
• Xiblaxian ultraburrito
• Xiblaxian xeno-detection goggles
• Xlyinia's notebook
• Yeast of Boris
• Yeti Protest Sign
• Zombo's skull ring
• [glitch season reward name]
• [reuse me]
• a cute angel
• abyssal battle plans
• adobe abacus
• adobe abaya
• adobe adze
• adobe arsecover
• adobe ascot
• adobe assortment
• adobe ayam
• adobe brittle
• adventurer clone egg
• aerosolized aerogel
• airplane charter: Conspiracy Island
• airplane charter: Dinseylandfill
• airplane charter: Spring Break Beach
• alien animal milk
• alien plant sample
• alien source code printout (used)
• alien zoological sample
• ancient Elf dessert spoon
• ancient meat
• ancient oil painting of yourself
• angry agate
• annealed drippy orb
• anniversary concrete fedora
• anti-burn cream
• anti-creep cream
• anti-freeze cream
• anti-goosebump cream
• anti-odor cream
• anti-pain cream
• around the world
• arrow'd heart balloon
• arse-shooting crossbow
• artisanal homebrew gift package
• astral badger
• astronaut ice-cream
• augmented El Vibrato drone
• august scepter
• automa-bot parts
• automatic wine thief
• autumn breeze
• autumn dollar
• autumn leaf
• autumn years wisdom
• autumn-spice donut
• autumnal aegis
• autumnic balm
• autumnic bomb
• avatar of the Unconscious Collective
• aviator goggles
• baby chest mimic
• baby rigging snake
• backup camera
• baconstone-handled sixgun
• bacteria bisque
• bad penguin egg
• bagged stuffed "L"
• baked veggie ricotta casserole
• bakelite bits
• banana candle
• banana split
• banana-frosted king cake
• baneful bandolier
• bar of freeze-dried water
• barnacle-encrusted sweater
• basking robin
• bat wings
• battery (9-Volt)
• battery (AA)
• battery (D)
• battery (car)
• battery (lantern)
• battoo kit
• beet
• beetle antenna
• belt of Ogrekind
• best joke ever
• bewitching boots
• big hot pepper
• big ol' trophy
• biker's hat
• bindle of joy
• birdybug antenna
• birthday candle
• bitter bowtie
• black Crimbo ball
• black candygram
• black velvet box
• blank white card
• bloody kiwitini
• blown-out speaker cone
• blue LavaCo Lamp™
• blue glowstick
• blue plate
• blue ribbon
• blue rocket
• blue traffic cone
• bodyguard badge
• bodyslam
• boiling hot cocoa
• bolder boulder
• bomb of unknown origin
• bone broth
• book of facts
• book of facts (dog-eared)
• boot plant
• booze bindle
• booze drive button
• bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon
• bottle-rocket crossbow
• bottled green pixie
• bouquet of circular saw blades
• bow
• bowl full of jelly
• bowl of oriole's nest soup
• bowl of prescription candy
• bowl of topioca
• box of Gratitude chocolates
• boxed Apriling band helmet
• boxed Mayam Calendar
• boxed Sept-Ember Censer
• boxed august scepter
• boxed autumn-aton
• boxed bat wings
• boxed gumball machine
• brass Dreadsylvanian flask
• brazen bracelet
• bread man
• bread pie
• briefcase full of sprinkles
• brilliant oyster egg
• broken El Vibrato drone
• brown pirate pants
• buñuelos Jaliscos
• bug juice
• bugbear-smiting sword
• bullet necklace
• burnt snowpants
• burrowgrub hive
• cabooze
• calle de miel with a fly in it
• calm attention-deficit demon
• can of drain cleaner
• can of mixed everything
• can-you-dig-it?
• candied lime
• candy cane sword cane
• candy cornucopia
• candy drive button
• cannonbomb
• canteen of eggnog
• carbonite visor
• carnivorous potted plant
• carrot cake precipice bar
• cat o' nine teeth
• cement shoes
• ceramic celery grater
• ceramic celsiturometer
• ceramic cenobite's robe
• ceramic centurion shield
• ceramic cerecloth belt
• ceramic cestus
• ceramic scree
• chalk chunks
• cherry bomb
• chest of "pirate gold"
• chiffon carbage
• chiffon chakram
• chiffon chamberpot
• chiffon chapeau
• chiffon chaps
• chiffon chemise
• chiffon chevrons
• chiffon lemon
• chitin powder
• chitin powder paste
• chocolate chip muffin
• chocolate covered ping-pong ball
• chocolate puppy
• chocolate-covered loofah
• chocolate-frosted king cake
• chocomotive
• ciliophora chowder
• cinnamon machine oil
• class five ecto-larva
• claw-held flag
• clear Russian
• clerical automa-core
• clingfilm tangle
• clockwork bartender-head-in-the-box
• clockwork chef-head-in-the-box
• cloning kit
• closed-circuit pay phone
• closed-circuit phone system
• club of corruption
• coal paperweight
• coffee pixie stick
• coffee sprite
• cold jelly
• cold medicine cabinet
• combat lover's locket
• combat lover's locket lockbox
• comfy blanket
• complex alien plant sample
• complex alien zoological sample
• complicated device
• concentrated cooking
• consolation ribbon
• container of Spooky Putty
• cookbookbat book
• cool hot cocoa
• cool iron breastplate
• cool iron greaves
• cool iron helmet
• cool mint precipice bar
• cop dollar
• coping juice
• corned beet
• corrupt club of corrupt corruption
• corrupt club of corruption
• cosmic bucket
• cotton candy cocoon
• cozy scarf
• cozy scimitar
• crappy Mer-kin mask
• crate of fish meat
• crated wardrobe-o-matic
• crazy bastard sword
• cream of chloroplasts
• creepy-ass club
• crimbo elfling
• crotchety pants
• crude oil congealer
• crunchy brush
• crushed steamer trunk
• crusty hula hoop
• crystal Crimbo goblet
• crystal Crimbo platter
• cup of "tea"
• cursed breeches
• cursed cutlass
• cursed eyepatch
• cursed magnifying glass
• cursed microwave
• cursed monkey glove
• cursed monkey's paw
• cursed pirate cutlass
• cursed pony keg
• cursed ring finger ring
• cursed swash buckle
• custom avatar form
• daddy shortlegs leg
• dandy lion cub
• day shortener
• deactivated RoboGoose
• deactivated mini-Trainbot
• deactivated nanobots
• deanimated reanimator's coffin
• deck of lewd playing cards
• deed to Oliver's Place
• defective Golden Mr. Accessory
• deflated inflatable dodecapede
• deluxe Neverending Party favor
• depleted Crimbonium football helmet
• designer sweatpants
• designer sweatpants (new old stock)
• detective roscoe
• detour shield
• diabolical crossbow
• dirty martini
• disconnected intergnat
• distilled resin
• doll-eye amulet
• dollar sign
• doppelshifter egg
• double daisy
• dreadful glove
• dreadful sweater
• dreaming Jung man
• dregs of a Crimbo cocktail
• drink chit
• drippy diadem
• drippy shield
• drippy snail shell
• dungeon dragon chest
• dusty right eleventh rib
• dwarvish war helmet
• dwarvish war kilt
• dwarvish war mattock
• ear candle
• eerily silent box
• eggwater
• elbow soup
• eldritch tincture (depleted)
• electric mushroom
• electric pants
• electrician's hardhat
• electronic Brain Trainer game
• ember egg
• embering hunk
• emergency glowstick
• emo roe
• empty Rain-Doh can
• energized spores
• enhanced signal receiver
• envelope full of Meat
• eternal car battery
• evil flaming eyeball pendant
• evil noodles
• evil paper umbrella
• evil-ass club
• exclusive ultra-rare item
• executive mime flask
• experimental carbon fiber pasta additive
• expired MRE
• exploding cigar
• exploding gum
• extra DNA
• extra ooze
• extra special Crimbo stocking
• extra time
• extra-grubby grub
• extra-hard jawbreaker
• fairy-worn boots
• familiar scrapbook
• fancy black tie
• fancy chess set
• fancy tophat
• fancy tuxedo pants
• fascinating alien plant sample
• fascinating alien zoological sample
• feathered headdress
• festive egg sac
• fettucini épines Inconnu recipe
• fetus-smashing club
• fiberglass fibers
• filled mosquito
• fire ant pheromones
• fire crackers
• fire-roasted lake trout
• fishcake
• five-fingered fern resin
• fixodent
• flagellate flagon
• flagellate soup
• flagstone fez
• flagstone flag
• flagstone flagments
• flagstone flail
• flagstone fleece
• flagstone flip-flops
• flagstone fringe
• flaming familiar doppelgänger
• flaming juggler's balls
• flaming leaf crown
• flan del mar
• flapper fly
• flask of egggrog
• fleshy lump
• fleshy putty
• flickering pixel
• floaty stone sphere
• flour cookie
• flyest of shirts
• foam commodore's hat
• foam naval trousers
• food drive button
• foreign box
• forest canopy bed
• fortifying hot cocoa
• fossilized necklace
• fragment of Jarlsberg's soul
• frankincenser
• free boots
• freightcake
• fresh coat of paint
• fried air
• frigid derringer
• frigid-ass club
• frost-rimed seal hide
• frozen tofu pop
• fruit bat
• fruit-stuffed rumcake
• fruity pebble
• funny paper hat
• fustulent seal grulch
• fuzzy bracelets
• fuzzy polar bear ears
• gabardine smithereens
• gaffer's tape
• gasmask
• gator shades
• gattoo
• genie bottle
• ghost pencil
• ghost shawl
• giant diamond ring
• giant free-range mushroom
• giant green gummi ingot
• gilded trumpet
• gingerbread moneybag
• gingerbread nylons
• gingerbread pirate
• gingerbread tophat
• gingerbread trousers
• gingerbread waistcoat
• glass of "milk"
• glass slipper
• gleaming oyster egg
• glob of extra-green chlorophyll
• glowing El Vibrato drone
• goblin bone hilt
• goblin collarbone
• golden fleece
• golden monkey statuette
• golden sausage
• golden tattoo gun
• goo magnet
• good gravy
• googly chest eyes
• gooified animal matter
• gooified mineral matter
• gooified vegetable matter
• gory drippy orb
• government per-diem
• government requisition form
• grease cannon
• greedy ghostling
• green LavaCo Lamp™
• green face paint
• green glowstick
• green marshmallow
• green pill
• green traffic cone
• gregarious ghostling
• grey down vest
• grey gosling
• grinning ghostling
• grisly shield
• grizzled bearskin
• grog nuts
• groggipop
• grogtini
• groveling gravel
• grubby wool
• grubby wool beerwarmer
• grubby wool gloves
• grubby wool hat
• grubby wool scarf
• grubby wool trousers
• grubby woolball
• guild application
• guilty sprout
• gunwale
• gunwale whalegun
• haemolymphnode
• hair of the calf
• half-height cigar
• hamethyst-handled sixgun
• hand of Mr. Cards
• hand turkey outline
• hand-carved bow
• hand-crafted candy cane
• handful of Boltsmann bearings
• handful of juicy garbage
• handful of toilet paper
• hangman's hood
• hard rock
• hardened slime belt
• hardening cream
• haunted bindle
• hazardous sauce dosimeter
• head of emberg lettuce
• head-mounted Trainbot
• hemp backpack
• heteroerotic frat-paddle
• hi-density nylocite leg armor
• hibernating Grimstone Golem
• hibernating robot reindeer
• high-end ginger wine
• hippo tutu
• hipster cocktail
• hobo code binder
• hobo monkey
• hollow rock
• homeless hobo spirit
• homemade robot
• honey bun of Boris
• honey mead
• honey-drenched ham slice
• honeypot
• hopeful candle
• hot cocoa au beurre
• hot cocoa with rainbow marshmallows
• hot wine
• hot-ass club
• house of twigs and spit
• house-sized mushroom
• housekeeping automa-core
• huge Crimbo cookie
• humming El Vibrato drone
• hungover chauvinist pig
• hyperinflated seal lung
• hypnodisk
• ice baby
• ice pick
• ice sickle
• ice skates
• iceberglet
• imbued seal-blubber candle
• immense free-range mushroom
• imported taffy
• in-the-box spring shoes
• incense bath ball
• indie comic hipster glasses
• industrial fire extinguisher
• industrial frosting
• industrial lubricant
• industrially-crushed ice
• infant sandworm
• inflammable leaf
• ingot of seal-iron
• innuendo
• intact medium-wave antenna
• intergalactic pom poms
• intricate music box parts
• invisibility cream
• irritability potion
• jar of squeeze
• jar of swamp gas
• jazz soap
• jitterbug larva
• jug of Sneaky Pete's Mojo
• jug of hamethyst juice
• kevlateflocite helmet
• kilopede skull
• lab-grown meat
• large pile of sand
• large stone triangle
• laser cannon
• laser targeting chip
• latte lovers member's mug
• lava cake
• lavalarva
• lead umbrella
• leafy browns
• left bear arm
• left bracket
• left half of a heart necklace
• leftover Crimbo rations
• leg-mounted Trainbots
• leggings of the Spider Queen
• li'l ghost costume
• liar's pants
• lip soup
• lit leaf lasso
• little deuce cape
• little piece of steel
• little red book
• llama lama cria
• lodestone
• longbox of Batfellow comics
• loofah ladle
• loofah lavalier
• loofah lederhosen
• loofah legwarmers
• loofah lei
• loofah lumberjack's hat
• loofah lumps
• loose blade
• lost elf luggage
• love
• lowercase a
• lucky Crimbo tiki necklace
• lucky Tam O'Shanter
• lucky Tam O'Shatner
• lucky gold ring
• lump of bauxite
• lump of black ichor
• lump of loyal latite
• lustrous drippy orb
• lustrous oyster egg
• luxury fly-tying workbench
• mafia organizer badge
• mafia pinky ring
• mafia thumb ring
• mafia wedding ring
• magical battery
• makeshift castanets
• malevolent medallion
• mantis skull
• map to Anemone Mine
• map to Dolph Bossin's hideout
• map to Madness Reef
• map to a candy-rich block
• map to the Cursed Village
• map to the Dive Bar
• map to the Marinara Trench
• map to the Mystic Wood
• map to the Putrid Swamp
• map to the Skate Park
• map to the Sprawling Cemetery
• map to the Towering Mountains
• marble molecules
• marshmallow bomb
• massive wrench
• mayfly bait necklace
• mayo pump
• meadeorite
• meatball
• meatball machine
• medium stone triangle
• memory of a CA base pair
• memory of a CG base pair
• memory of a CT base pair
• memory of a GT base pair
• memory of an AG base pair
• memory of an AT base pair
• mesquito proboscis
• messenger bag RNA
• meteorite earring
• meteorite fragment
• meteorite necklace
• meteorite ring
• milestone
• military candy cane
• military-grade peppermint oil
• mime army wine
• mini kiwi
• mini kiwi aioli
• mini kiwi antimilitaristic hippy petition
• mini kiwi bikini
• mini kiwi digitized cookies
• mini kiwi egg
• mini kiwi icepick
• mini kiwi illicit antibiotic
• mini kiwi intoxicating spirits
• mini kiwi invisible dirigible
• mini kiwi silicon tiepin
• mini kiwi tipi
• mini kiwi whipping stick
• mini kiwi-flavored aspirin-injecting lipstick
• mini kiwitini
• miniature Embering Hulk
• miniature crystal ball
• miniature deck cannon
• miniature goose mask
• miniature gravy-covered maypole
• miniature stuffed Goth Giant
• miniscule temporal rip
• mint condition magnifying glass
• model train set
• moist sack
• molehill mountain
• molten medallion
• monstrous monocle
• morning dew
• moss floss
• moss mace
• moss mantle
• moss marlinspike
• moss medal
• moss megaphone
• moss mitre
• moss mulch
• mostly-empty bottle of cookie wine
• mother's necklace
• mountain lion skin
• mourning wine
• moveable feast
• mulled wine
• multi-level marzipan
• mummified entombed cookbookbat
• mumming trunk
• murderbot memory chip
• muscular soup
• musty moccasins
• mutant crown
• mutant legs
• mutated candy lump
• myrrh pouch
• myrrh-soaked, chocolate-covered bacon bath ball
• mysterious chest
• name change form
• nasty desk bell
• nasty-ass club
• nativity shorts
• natural magick candle
• naughty fortune teller
• naughty origami kit
• naughty paper shuriken
• nauseating reagent
• ncle leg
• neck wreath
• nervous tick egg
• nest egg
• newly-hatched mayonnaise wasp
• nice warm beer
• nicksilver ring
• nicksilver spurs
• ninja pirate zombie robot
• novelty monorail ticket
• nozzle of the Phoenix
• nugget of sicksilver
• nugget of ticksilver
• nugget of wicksilver
• odd silver coin
• off-hand balloon
• officer's nog
• old school Mafia knickerbockers
• old school flying disc
• old-fashioned Crimbo Pressie
• old-school pirate grog
• one million meat pancakes
• one piece of bubble gum
• optimal spreadsheet
• orange candygram
• orange glowstick
• orange traffic cone
• organ grinder
• origami "gentlemen's" magazine
• origami pasties
• ornamental sextant
• orphan baby yeti
• out-of-work circus flea
• outrageous sombrero
• overcharged El Vibrato power sphere
• overflowing gift basket
• overloaded Yule battery
• overloaded short-pulse transistor
• overly-fancy hot cocoa
• oyster egg balloon
• oyster sauce
• packaged Daylight Shavings Helmet
• packaged Everfull Dart Holster
• packaged June cleaver
• packaged Jurassic Parka
• packaged Roman Candelabra
• packaged cold medicine cabinet
• packaged model train set
• packet of beer seeds
• packet of mayfly bait
• packet of rock seeds
• packet of tall grass seeds
• packet of winter seeds
• paperclip sproinger
• papier-mâché base
• papier-mâché bowl
• papier-mâché glob
• papier-mâché handle
• papier-mâché plaque
• papier-mâché toothpicks
• papier-mâché trophy piñata
• papier-mâchéte
• papier-mâchaeranthera
• papier-mâchine gun
• papier-mochi
• paraffin pieces
• party pup
• passed-out psychedelic bear
• patent aggression tonic
• patent alacrity tonic
• patent avarice tonic
• patent sallowness tonic
• pebble of proud pyrite
• pegfinger
• peppermint bomb
• peppermint donut
• peppermint tack
• peppermint-scented socks
• percent sign
• perfect old-fashioned
• perfectly fair coin
• perfectly ordinary frog
• perpendicular hula with a fly in it
• personal raindrop
• personalized wassail stein
• pet anchor
• petrified time
• photo booth sized crate
• pickled bread
• pig-iron bracers
• pig-iron helm
• pig-iron shinguards
• pile of Trainbot parts
• pile of gritty sand
• pile of sand
• pile of smoking rags
• ping-pong ball
• ping-pong paddle
• pink candygram
• pint of sweat
• piracetam
• pirate encryption key (complete)
• pirate encryption key alpha
• pirate encryption key bravo
• pirate encryption key charlie
• pirate encryption key delta
• pirate fork
• pirate hook
• pirate pantaloons
• pirate shaving cream
• pixel bread
• pixel chain whip
• pixel morning star
• pixel orb
• pixel rock
• pixel whiskey
• plain calzone
• plain candy cane
• plans for depleted Grimacite astrolabe
• plans for depleted Grimacite grappling hook
• plans for depleted Grimacite gravy boat
• plans for depleted Grimacite hammer
• plans for depleted Grimacite ninja mask
• plans for depleted Grimacite shinguards
• plans for depleted Grimacite weightlifting belt
• plastic pumpkin bucket
• plexifoam chin strap
• pogo stick
• poisonsettia
• polyesterene powder
• polymorphic fastening apparatus
• pompadour'd puppy
• poncho de azucar
• pool shark hair oil
• porquoise bracelet
• porquoise-handled sixgun
• portable housekeeping robot
• portable ping-pong table
• portable steam unit
• potato alarm clock
• potted tea tree
• pottery club
• pottery yo-yo
• powdered dice
• powdered madness
• powdered sealbone
• powdered toad horn
• prank Crimbo card
• praying Grim Brother
• precision snowball
• present
• pressurized potion of pneumaticity
• primitive alien blowgun
• primitive alien loincloth
• primitive alien necklace
• primitive alien spear
• primitive alien totem
• pro skateboard
• prohie's hat
• projectile chemistry set
• propeller beanie
• proto-proto-protozoa
• protogenetic chunklet (elbow)
• protogenetic chunklet (flagellum)
• protogenetic chunklet (lips)
• protogenetic chunklet (muscle)
• protogenetic chunklet (synapse)
• protonic accelerator pack
• punch-drunk punch
• punching mirror
• purple glowstick
• purpleheart "pants"
• puzzling ribbon
• puzzling trophy
• pygmy bugbear shaman
• quantized familiar
• quantized familiar experience
• quantum of familiar
• quantum watch
• quicksilver ring
• quicksilver spurs
• raffle prize box
• raffle ticket
• rainbow glitter candle
• rainbow pearl
• rainbow pearl earring
• rainbow pearl necklace
• rainbow pearl ring
• rare oboe
• ratatouille de Jarlsberg
• real cowboy hat
• really nice lump of coal
• record of infuriating silence
• record of menacing silence (used)
• record of tranquil silence (used)
• recovered cufflinks
• red LavaCo Lamp™
• red and green rain stick
• red and white claret
• red face paint
• red plumber's boots
• red rocket
• red traffic cone
• red wagon
• red white and blue claret
• red-hot medallion
• red-soled high heels
• red-spotted snapper roe
• redwood rain stick
• refurbished air fryer
• regret hose
• rehearsing dramatic hedgehog
• reindeer sickle
• repaid diaper
• repaired El Vibrato drone
• replica Elf Guard medal
• replica Ten Dollars
• replica bat-oomerang
• replica key
• research fragment
• residual chitin paste
• rib of the Bonerdagon
• ribbon candy ascot
• riboflavin
• rickety old unicycle
• rigging knot
• right bear arm
• right parenthesis
• ring of the Skeleton Lord
• roasted vegetable focaccia
• roasted vegetable of Jarlsberg
• robin nog
• robin's egg
• robot reindeer protocol O.L.I.V.E.
• rockin' wagon with a fly in it
• roll of meat
• root beer barrel
• rose-colored glasses
• rotting barrel
• rotting cowskin
• rubber WWBBDD? bracelet
• rum-soaked fruitcake
• rusty metal greaves
• rutabuga bag
• rxr shield
• sachet of strange powder
• salted mutton
• sampler size toothpaste
• sane hatrack
• sangria del diablo
• sardine can key
• savings bond
• sawed-off blunderbuss
• scabrous seal epaulets
• scepter of the Skeleton Lord
• scintillating powder
• scrap of shadow
• scroll of minor invulnerability
• scroll of protection from lycanthropes
• sea-worn candlestick
• seal medal
• sealhide belt
• sealhide buckler
• sealhide cloak
• sealhide gloves
• sealhide hood
• sealhide leggings
• sealhide moccasins
• sealhide seal doll
• sealhide snare
• sealhide whip
• sealskin drum
• second-hand knockoff engagement ring
• secret from the future
• security automa-core
• self-repairing earmuffs
• senate fly thorax
• sequin-encrusted sweater
• set of Unobtainium straps
• severed rocking horse head
• shadow bread
• shadow brick
• shadow candle
• shadow candy
• shadow chef's hat
• shadow flame
• shadow fluid
• shadow glass
• shadow hammer
• shadow hot dog
• shadow ice
• shadow martini
• shadow monocle
• shadow nectar
• shadow needle
• shadow pill
• shadow sausage
• shadow sinew
• shadow skin
• shadow stick
• shadow trousers
• shadow venom
• shadowy cheat sheet
• shady shades
• shaking skull
• sharp tin strip
• shield of the Skeleton Lord
• shim of shame shale
• shining star cap
• shipwright's hammer
• shoe gum
• shopkeeper beard
• short beer
• short glass of water
• short stack of pancakes
• short stick of butter
• short white
• shot of Sneaky Pete's Mojo
• shot of wasp venom
• shoulder-mounted Trainbot
• shrink-wrapped 2002 Mr. Store Catalog
• shrink-wrapped Cincho de Mayo
• sicksilver ring
• sicksilver spurs
• siesta-ing Casagnova gnome
• signal receiver
• silicon-infused gluteal shield
• silk garter snake
• silver Dreadsylvanian flask
• silver cow creamer
• silver sausage
• silver table-scraper
• single atom
• single-use dust mask
• sinister ancient tablet
• sinister demon mask
• skeleton beans
• skewered cherry
• skewered jumbo olive
• skewered lime
• skin oil
• skull capacitor
• slap and slap again recipe
• slap and tickle with a fly in it
• sleeping patriotic eagle
• sleeping piano cat
• slicksilver ring
• slicksilver spurs
• slime-covered club
• slime-covered greaves
• slime-covered helmet
• slime-covered lantern
• slime-covered shovel
• slime-covered staff
• slime-soaked brain
• slime-soaked hypophysis
• slime-soaked sweat gland
• slippery when wet shield
• sludgesicle
• small Crimbo Pressie
• small golem
• small stone triangle
• smoking talon
• smoldering bagel punch
• smoldering box
• smoldering leafcutter ant egg
• snake oil
• snowpack
• sober pill
• soft cap of diminishing returns
• solid gold jewel
• sorority girl's box
• soul monocle
• souvenir flag
• space beast fur hat
• space beast fur pants
• space beast fur whip
• space blanket
• space pirate treasure map
• space planula
• space trooper helmet
• spaghetti-box banjo
• spant egg casing
• spant spear
• spare battery
• spare chocolate parts
• sparking El Vibrato drone
• sparkling orb
• sparkly engagement ring
• special edition Batfellow comic
• speed limit shield
• spider leg
• spinning wheel
• spooky jelly
• spooky rattling cigar box
• spring shoes
• squamous polyp
• squirming Slime larva
• squirmy violent party snack
• stained glass serape
• stained glass shards
• stained glass shield
• stained glass shiv
• stained glass spectacles
• stained glass stetson
• stained glass suspenders
• stained hard candy
• standards and practices guide
• star pop
• steamed oyster
• steaming evil
• steel drivin' hammer
• steel knuckles
• stench jelly
• sticky sword blade
• still grill
• stinky cheese diaper
• stinky cheese eye
• stinky cheese sword
• stinky cheese wheel
• stop shield
• strange stalagmite
• strange stone pyramid
• streetfighting champion's belt
• structural ember
• stuffed "L"
• stuffed bandersnatch
• stuffed carpenter
• stuffed caterpillar
• stuffed dinosaur
• stuffed kraken
• stuffed pocketwatch
• stuffed porpoise
• stuffed walrus
• stuffed yam stinkbomb
• stuffed-shirt scarecrow
• styrofoam peanuts
• subscription cocoa dispenser
• sugar raygun
• sugarplum ration
• sundae ration
• super good fruit
• super-heated leaf
• super-sweet boom box
• superhero mask
• suspicious package
• suspicious stocking
• suspicious-looking fedora
• swamp haunch
• sweat-ade
• sweet nutcracker
• sweet potato o' mine
• sweet potato punch
• sweetened reindeer fat
• synaptic soup
• synthetic rock
• tabletop candy dispenser
• talisman of Seshat
• talkative skull
• talking spade
• tapped black lotus
• tarnished luggage key
• tattoo gun
• teacher's pen
• tearaway pants
• tempura green and red bean
• terra cotta tidbits
• testy toolbox
• thanksgiving bomb
• the Archwizard's briefs
• the Crymbich Manuscript
• the Crymbich Manuscript (used)
• the Ley Incursion's waist
• thermos of "whiskey"
• thicksilver ring
• thicksilver spurs
• third ear
• thriftshop coupon
• throbbing rage gland
• throwin' ember
• ticksilver ring
• ticksilver spurs
• tie-dyed fannypack
• tied-up flaming leaflet
• tied-up flaming monstera
• tied-up leaviathan
• time sleigh
• time sword
• time trousers
• time-twitching toolbelt
• tin rations
• tin star
• tinsel orb
• tiny Tina gun
• tiny consolation ribbon
• tiny costume wardrobe
• tiny domino mask
• tiny ember
• tiny fly glasses
• tiny frozen prehistoric meteorite jawbreaker
• tiny glowing red nose
• tiny goth giant
• tiny handful of mixed nuts
• tiny makeup kit
• tiny nose-bone fetish
• tiny plastic Abuela's cottage
• tiny plastic Armory
• tiny plastic Bar
• tiny plastic Cafe
• tiny plastic Cheer Core
• tiny plastic Crimbo caroler
• tiny plastic Crimbo cheer
• tiny plastic Factory
• tiny plastic Mirth
• tiny plastic Penny
• tiny plastic caboose
• tiny plastic chem lab
• tiny plastic coal car
• tiny plastic dining car
• tiny plastic food lab
• tiny plastic locomotive
• tiny plastic multi-level marketer
• tiny plastic nog lab
• tiny plastic passenger car
• tiny plastic primary lab
• tiny plastic spoiler
• tiny plastic sword
• tiny prop sword
• tiny stillsuit
• tomato soup poster
• tooth cap
• toothy trousers
• totally sweet mohawk helmet
• toy mercenary
• toy sixgun
• train whistle
• training scroll: Shattering Punch
• training scroll: Shivering Monkey Technique
• training scroll: Snokebomb
• trampled ticket stub
• trick coin
• tropical Crimbo pressie
• trusty torch
• tube of pendulum lube
• twitching trigger finger
• ultimate wad
• ultra-soft ferns
• unbreakable umbrella
• uncapped blue lava bottle
• uncapped green lava bottle
• undamaged Unbreakable Umbrella
• undrilled cosmic bowling ball
• unearthed volcanic meteoroid
• unevolved organism
• uniclops egg
• universal biscuit
• unlocked meat locker
• unoccupied sheep suit
• unopened Bird-a-Day calendar
• unopened tiny stillsuit
• untorn tearaway pants package
• unwound cymbal-playing monkey
• unwound mechanical songbird
• unwrapped knock-off retro superhero cape
• vampire glitter
• vampyric cloake
• velour valise
• velour vambraces
• velour vaqueros
• velour veil
• velour veneer
• velour viscometer
• velour voulge
• vesper
• vial of humanoid growth hormone
• villainous scythe
• void burger
• void lager
• void shard
• void stone
• voodoo doll
• votive of confidence
• wad of Crovacite
• wad of cotton
• wad of spider silk
• waffle
• warbear black box
• warbear drone codes
• warbear electric warscarf
• warbear electro-spiked helm
• warbear fancy fedora
• warbear feathered fedora
• warbear heated ushanka
• warbear metalworking primer
• warbear metalworking primer (used)
• warbear nuclear bowtie
• warbear plasma bowtie
• warbear polarized goggles
• warbear snowblindness goggles
• warbear spiked helm
• wardrobe-o-matic
• warm El Vibrato drone
• water balloon
• watermelon
• watermelon seed
• wax lips
• webbed comic mask
• wedge of gray cheese
• weedy skirt
• western-style skinning knife
• wet tack
• whale cerebrospinal fluid
• whalecake
• whalegun
• whalesteak
• wheel of camembert
• whet stone
• whiskey squeeze
• white Crimbo ball
• white arm towel
• white earbuds
• white tulip
• white-label gin
• wickerbits
• wicksilver ring
• wicksilver spurs
• wild honey pie
• wind-up spider
• wine-soaked bone chips
• witch's bra
• wizard action figure
• wolf whistle
• world's most unappetizing beverage
• wormwood wedding ring
• wrapped candy cane sword cane
• wrapping paper
• wrestling mask
• wrought-iron flakes
• wumpus-hair bolo
• wumpus-hair loincloth
• wumpus-hair net
• wumpus-hair sweater
• wumpus-hair whip
• wumpus-hair wig
• x-ray mirror
• yam
• yam and swiss
• yam battery
• yam burrito
• yam martini
• yam mayo
• yam slider
• yellow puck
• yellow rocket
• yellow traffic cone
• yield shield
• your own black heart
• yule grog
• yule hatchet
• yuletide troll chrysalis
• zombie accordion
• zombie monkey necklace