In their foolhardy quest to collect every item, this player comes 1,126 short.

• "Humorous" T-shirt
• 'Villa' document
• 1 Meat
• 17-ball
• 2002 Mr. Store Catalog
• A Beginner's Guide to Charming Snakes (used)
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 1 (used)
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 2 (used)
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 3 (used)
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 4 (used)
• A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 5 (used)
• A Guide to Safari
• Acqua Del Piatto Merlot
• Acque Luride Grezze Cabernet
• Admiral's hat
• Adventurer bobblehead
• Adventurer's Kit
• Agent Mauve
• Alice's Army Foil tattoo
• Anniversary Miniature Sword & Martini Guy
• Annual Ascot
• Apathargic Bandersnatch
• Apriling band helmet
• Ascension Souvenir T-Shirt
• Asdon Martin keyfob (on ring)
• Autobiography Of Dynamite Superman Jones (used)
• Bag o' Tricks
• Banfoy's Boutique Order Form
• Bastille Battalion Fondue Trophy
• Bastille Battalion control rig
• Bastille Battalion control rig crate
• Beach Comb
• Beach Comb Box
• Bee's Knees
• Better Shrooms and Gardens catalog
• Big Candy's tophat
• Bigger Bugfinder Blade
• Bird-a-Day calendar
• BittyCar MeatCar
• Bloodbath
• Bodacious MechaElf Hunter Saga:Relay Wolf
• Boltsmann ID badge
• Book of Old-Timey Carols
• Boris's Helm
• Boris's Helm (askew)
• Bowl of Infinite Jelly
• Brimstone Beret
• Brimstone Bludgeon
• Brimstone Boxers
• Brimstone Bracelet
• Brimstone Brooch
• Brimstone Bunker
• Buddy Bjorn
• Bugfinder Blade
• Build-a-City Gingerbread kit
• Byte
• CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 3) (used)
• CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 4) (used)
• CRIMBCO mug
• CRIMBCO wine
• CSA fire-starting kit
• Camp Scout backpack
• Cargo Cultist Shorts
• Carol of the Bulls (used)
• Carol of the Hells (used)
• Carol of the Thrills (used)
• Carpathian longsword
• Cat-Herding Prod
• Chateau Mantegna room key
• Chef Boy, R&D's business card
• Cheshire Bitten
• ChibiBuddy™ (off)
• Children's Meal of the Damned
• Christmas ham
• Cincho de Mayo
• Clan Carnival Game
• Clan Floundry
• Clan VIP Lounge key
• Clan hot dog stand
• Clan looking glass
• Clan pool table
• Clan shower
• Clan speakeasy
• Cold One
• Colera Peste Nebbiolo
• Comma Chameleon egg
• Congressional Medal of Insanity
• Counterclockwise Watch
• Crimbo Credit
• Crimbo hat
• Crimbo pants
• Crimbo pressie
• Crimbo sapling
• Crimbo smile
• Crimbo stocking
• Crimbo sword
• Crimbot schematic: Data Analyzer
• Crimbot schematic: Lamp Filler
• Crimbot schematic: Ribbon Manipulator
• Crimbot schematic: Rocket Skirt
• Crimbough
• DIY protonic accelerator kit
• DNOTC Box
• Dallas Dynasty Falcon Crest shield
• Dark Jill-O-Lantern
• Daylight Shavings Helmet
• Deactivated MiniMechaElf
• Deck of Every Card
• Diamond HP-35 Calculator
• Dickory Farms Gift Basket
• Discontent™ Winter Garden Catalog
• Distant Woods Getaway Brochure
• Doll Moll violin case
• Dolph Bossin's charity note
• Dreadsylvanian clockwork key
• Dreadsylvanian shepherd's pie
• Driplet
• Drunkula's bell
• Drunkula's ring of haze
• Drunkula's wineglass
• Dungeon Fist gauntlet
• Easter eggnog
• Ed the Undying exhibit crate
• Eight Days a Week Pill Keeper
• El Vibrato translator
• Eldritch Intellect: Journey into a Mind of Horror
• Ellsbury's journal (used)
• Elvish sunglasses
• Emblem of Ak'gyxoth
• Essence of Bear
• Everfull Dart Holster
• FDKOL commendation
• FDKOL tattoo
• FantasyRealm membership packet
• FantasyRealm tattoo kit
• Ferita Del Petto Zinfandel
• Field Guide to Skeletal Anatomy (shredded)
• First Post shirt - Cir Senam
• Flivver
• Folder Holder
• Fourth of May Cosplay Saber
• Fourth of May Cosplay Saber kit
• Frank Gorshin trophy
• Frosty's arm
• Frosty's snowball sack
• Fuzzby
• GameInformPowerDailyPro subscription card
• Garland of Greatness
• General Assembly Module
• Ginsu™
• God Lobster Egg
• Golden HP-35 Calculator
• Golden Mr. Accessory
• Golden Mr. Eh?
• Gordon Beer's Beer Garden Catalog
• Granny Tood's Thanksgarden Catalog
• Great S-Cape
• Great Wolf's beastly trousers
• Great Wolf's lice
• Great Wolf's rocket launcher
• Greatest American Pants
• Gregarious Gregorian Smock
• Grimacite Bock
• Grimacite gaiters
• Grimacite galoshes
• Grimacite garter
• Grimacite gasmask
• Grimacite gat
• Grimacite gauntlets
• Grimacite girdle
• Grimacite glaive
• Grimacite go-go boots
• Grimacite goggles
• Grimacite gorget
• Grimacite gown
• Grimacite greaves
• Grimacite guayabera
• Guzzlr tablet
• Guzzlr tattoo kit
• Gygaxian Libram
• HOA regulation book
• HOA zombie eyes
• HP-35 Calculator
• Hanukkimbo dreidl
• Hat O' Nine Tails
• Helps-You-Sleep
• Hjodor's Guide to Arctic Dalmatians
• Hodgman's almanac
• Hodgman's cane
• Hodgman's disgusting technicolor overcoat
• Hodgman's imaginary hamster
• Hodgman's whackin' stick
• Holiday Hal's Happy-Time Fun Book!
• Horsery contract
• Hot Socks
• Hoyle's Guide to Reindeer Games
• Hoyle's Guide to Reindeer Games (used)
• Idol of Ak'gyxoth
• Inigo's Incantation of Inspiration (crumpled)
• Irish eggnog
• Ish Kabibble
• Item #13
• Iunion Crown
• Jackass Plumber home game
• January's Garbage Tote
• January's Garbage Tote (unopened)
• Jarlsberg's pan
• Jarlsberg's pan (Cosmic portal mode)
• Jekyllin hide belt
• Jeppson's Malort
• Jick's autograph
• Jick-o-User
• June cleaver
• Junior Adventurer's kit
• Junior LAAAAME merit badge
• Jurassic Parka
• KoL Con 12-gauge
• KoL Con 13 snowglobe
• KoL Con 3-D Glasses
• KoL Con 8-Bit power bracelet
• KoL Con Cinco Piñata Bat
• KoL Con IV Pole
• KoL Con Six Pack
• KoL Con X Bingo Card
• KoL Con X Treasure Map
• KoLHS Pep Squad Box
• Kramco Industries packing carton
• Kramco Sausage-o-Matic™
• Krampus Horn
• Kremlin's Greatest Briefcase
• L.I.M.P. Stock Certificate
• LARP carp
• LI-11 Motor Pool voucher
• LIDAR candle
• Leapin' Trousers
• Liam's mail
• Libram of Candy Heart Summoning
• Libram of Divine Favors
• Libram of Love Songs
• Libram of Pulled Taffy
• Libram of Resolutions
• License To Kill
• License to Chill
• Lil' Doctor™ bag
• Little Geneticist DNA-Splicing Lab
• Living to Drink, Drinking to Live
• Loathing Legion abacus
• Loathing Legion can opener
• Loathing Legion chainsaw
• Loathing Legion corkscrew
• Loathing Legion defibrillator
• Loathing Legion double prism
• Loathing Legion electric knife
• Loathing Legion flamethrower
• Loathing Legion hammer
• Loathing Legion helicopter
• Loathing Legion jackhammer
• Loathing Legion kitchen sink
• Loathing Legion knife
• Loathing Legion many-purpose hook
• Loathing Legion moondial
• Loathing Legion necktie
• Loathing Legion pizza stone
• Loathing Legion tape measure
• Loathing Legion tattoo needle
• Loathing Legion universal screwdriver
• Lord Flameface's cloak
• Lucky Lindy
• Lump-Stacking for Beginners
• MAHI fez
• Mafia bow tie
• Mafia stogie
• Mafia violin case
• Maiali Sifilitici Pinot Noir
• Manual of Numberology
• Map to Kokomo
• March hat
• Martialest Arts trophy
• Marvelous Unitard
• Mayam Calendar
• Mayflower bouquet
• Mayodiol
• Mayoflex
• Mayonex
• Mayor Ghost's cloak
• Mayor Ghost's gavel
• Mayor Ghost's sash
• Mayor Ghost's scissors
• Mayor Ghost's toupee
• Mayostat
• Mayozapine
• McPhee's Grimoire of Hilarious Object Summoning
• Memories of Beanslinging
• Memories of Cow Punching
• Memories of Snake Oiling
• Mer-kin facecowl
• Mer-kin waistrope
• Merc Core deployment orders
• Meteoid ice beam
• Microplushie: Dorkonide
• Microplushie: Ermahgerdic Acid
• Microplushie: Fauxnerditide
• Microplushie: Hippylase
• Microplushie: Hipsterine
• Microplushie: Hobomosome
• Microplushie: Otakulone
• Microplushie: Raverdrine
• Microplushie: Sororitrate
• Mint-in-box Moonthril Circlet
• Mint-in-box Moonthril Cuirass
• Mint-in-box Moonthril Flamberge
• Mint-in-box Moonthril Greaves
• Mint-in-box Moonthril Longbow
• Mjolnir Jr.
• Monster Manuel
• Moping Artistic Goth Kid
• Mr. Container
• Mr. Eh?
• Mr. Exploiter
• Mr. Screege's spectacles
• Mr. Shirt
• Mt. Noob Pale Ale
• Murgatroyd diode
• N. O. Beer
• Neverending Party invitation envelope
• New-You Club Membership Form
• Newbiesport™ backpack
• Official Council Aide Pin
• Ol' Scratch's manacles
• Olympic-sized Clan crate
• Order of the Green Thumb Order Form
• Oscus's flypaper pants
• Oscus's neverending soda
• Otorian Battle Scar
• PARTY HARD T-shirt
• PB&BP
• Pack of Every Card
• Panda outfit
• Pantsgiving
• Party Planning on a Budget
• Party Tattoo™ gift certificate
• Pener's drumstick
• Periodical Paintbrush
• Pete & Jackie's Dragon Tooth Emporium Catalog
• Petite Paintbrush
• Phonus Balonus
• PirateRealm membership packet
• Platinum HP-35 Calculator
• Platinum Yendorian Express Card
• Pocket Meteor Guide
• Pocket Meteor Guide (well-thumbed)
• Pokéfam Guide to Capturing All of Them
• Powerful Glove
• Professor of Spelunkology
• Protects-Your-Junk
• Puffstone cigar
• Quartet of Flare Masters Jacket
• Quiets-Your-Steps
• ROM of Optimality
• Radio Free Baseball Cap
• Radio Free Foil
• Radio Free Jersey
• Radio Free Pants
• Radio KoL Antenna Ball
• Radio KoL Bottle Opener
• Radio KoL Coffee Mug
• Radio KoL Flashlight
• Radio KoL Keychain
• Radio KoL Maracas
• Radio KoL Patch
• Rainbow Jello Mould
• Ralph IX cognac
• Red Roger's skull
• Rethinking Candy
• Retrospecs
• Roman Candelabra
• Royal scepter
• S.I.T. Course Completion Certificate
• SMOOCH coffee cup
• Scandalously Skimpy Bikini
• Schmalz's First Prize Beer
• Science Notebook
• Scratch 'n' Sniff Sticker Tome
• Sealed TakerSpace letter of Marque
• Seasonal Beret
• Senior LAAAAME merit badge
• Sept-Ember Censer
• Seven Loco
• Silver HP-35 Calculator
• Sister Accessory
• Site Alpha ID badge
• Size XI Wizard's Robe
• Skipper's accordion
• Sloppy Jalopy
• Small Medium
• Sneaky Pete's leather jacket
• Sneaky Pete's leather jacket (collar popped)
• Snow Suit
• Sockdollager
• Solstice Shield
• Sombrero De Vida
• SongBoom™ BoomBox
• SongBoom™ BoomBox Box
• Source shades
• Source terminal
• Source terminal CRAM chip
• Source terminal DRAM chip
• Source terminal GRAM chip
• Source terminal PRAM chip
• Source terminal SPAM chip
• Source terminal TRAM chip
• Space Trip safety headphones
• Spacegate access badge
• Spasmi Dolorosi Del Rene Champagne
• Spelunker's fedora
• Spelunker's khakis
• Spelunker's whip
• SpinMaster™ lathe
• Spirit of Christmas
• Spirit of Thanksgiving
• Spirit of Veteran's Day
• Spooky Putty ball
• Spooky Putty leotard
• Spooky Putty mitre
• Spooky Putty monster
• Spooky Putty sheet
• Spooky Putty snake
• Spookyraven signet
• Spring Bros. ID badge
• Staff of Frozen Lard
• Staff of Holiday Sensations
• Staff of Queso Escusado
• Staff of Simmering Hatred
• Staff of the Electric Range
• Staff of the Peppermint Twist
• Staff of the Roaring Hearth
• Staff of the Scummy Sink
• Star of Bravery
• Stupid University Diploma
• Superhero Reboots
• Sword of Procedural Generation
• TakerSpace letter of Marque
• Tales of Western Braggadoccio
• Tales of a Kansas Toymaker (used)
• Tales of the Word Realms
• Talisman of Baio
• Talisman of Bakula
• Temporal Tempera Tube
• That 70s Cologne
• The Art of Slapfighting (used)
• The Big Book of Communism (used)
• The Cocktail Shaker
• The Confiscator's Grimoire
• The Crown of Ed the Undying
• The Eye of the Thing in the Basement
• The Fingernail of the Thing in the Basement
• The Groose in the Hoose
• The Joy of Wassailing (used)
• The Kloop in the Coop
• The Necbromancer's Hat
• The Necbromancer's Shorts
• The Necbromancer's Stein
• The Necbromancer's Wizard Staff
• The Nuge's favorite crossbow
• The Sagittarian's leisure pants
• The Smith's Tome
• Thinknerd's Grimoire of Geeky Gifts
• Third Eye
• Thor's Pliers
• Thwaitgold chigger statuette
• Thwaitgold cockroach statuette
• Thwaitgold metabug statuette
• Thwaitgold shield bug statuette
• Tickle-Me Emilio
• Time Bandit Badge of Courage
• Time Juice
• Time-Spinner
• Toddler-sized Dragon Costume
• Tome of Rad Libs
• Tome of Snowcone Summoning
• Tome of Sugar Shummoning
• Toot Oriole care package
• Totally Gay Claymore
• Travoltan trousers
• Trivial Avocations board game
• Truthsayer
• UV monocular
• Unagnimated Gnome
• Uncle Crimbo's hat
• Uncle Hobo's highest bough
• Uncle Romulus (used)
• Unfortunato's foolscap
• Unkillable Skeleton's breastplate
• Unkillable Skeleton's restless leg
• Unkillable Skeleton's sawsword
• Unkillable Skeleton's shield
• Unkillable Skeleton's shinguards
• Unkillable Skeleton's skullcap
• Unopened Eight Days a Week Pill Keeper
• Uovo Marcio Shiraz
• Val-U Brand Every Bean Salad
• Valentine's Day cake
• Velougats™
• Voluminous Radio Hat
• Voluminous Radio Pants
• Voluminous Radio Sneakers
• Wal-Mart "diamond" ring
• Warehouse 23 bling
• Warehouse 23 crate
• White Dragon Fang
• Witchess Set
• X-32-F snowman crate
• Xi Receiver Unit
• Xiblaxian 5D printer
• Xlyinia's notebook
• Zombo's empty eye
• Zombo's skull ring
• Zu Mannkäse Dienen (used)
• [reuse me]
• abyssal battle plans
• adventurer clone egg
• airplane charter: Conspiracy Island
• airplane charter: Dinseylandfill
• airplane charter: Spring Break Beach
• airplane charter: That 70s Volcano
• airplane charter: The Glaciest
• airplane tattoo
• alien zoological sample
• all-year sucker
• alpine watercolor set
• anger blaster
• annealed drippy orb
• anniversary chutney sculpture
• antique nutcracker beard
• antique nutcracker boots
• antique nutcracker cape
• antique nutcracker drumstick
• antique nutcracker epaulets
• antique nutcracker hat
• antique nutcracker pants
• antique nutcracker sword
• antique nutcracker waistcoat
• arse-shooting crossbow
• artisanal homebrew gift package
• artisanal homebrew sampler
• astral badger
• astronaut ice-cream
• august scepter
• avatar of the Unconscious Collective
• aviator goggles
• backup camera
• bacon bath ball
• bad penguin egg
• bad vibroknife
• bag of Iunion stones
• banana-frosted king cake
• baneful bandolier
• barnacled barrel
• basking robin
• bat wings
• bath ball gift set
• battoo kit
• beet
• bejazzled eyepatch
• best joke ever
• big ol' trophy
• big tun
• bindle of joy
• birthday candle
• black velvet box
• blank note
• blank white card
• blue glowstick
• blue ribbon
• blue traffic cone
• bodyguard badge
• bodyslam
• book of facts (dog-eared)
• boot plant
• booze drive button
• bottle of lovebug pheromones
• bottle-rocket crossbow
• bottled green pixie
• bowl of oriole's nest soup
• boxing-glove-in-a-box
• bugbear-smiting sword
• burnt snowpants
• calm attention-deficit demon
• can of Rain-Doh
• candy cane sword cane
• candy cornucopia
• carbonite visor
• card sleeve
• cement shoes
• cheer extractor
• cherry bomb
• chocolate bath ball
• class five ecto-larva
• closed-circuit pay phone
• clovermint
• club sandwich
• coal paperweight
• coffee sprite
• combat lover's locket
• comfy blanket
• coney haunch
• consolation ribbon
• container of Spooky Putty
• corked genie bottle
• corroded breeches
• corrosive cowl
• cotton candy cocoon
• cozy scarf
• crazy bastard sword
• crimbo elfling
• crude oil congealer
• crushed steamer trunk
• crystal belt buckle
• crystalline cheer
• cup of "tea"
• cursed magnifying glass
• cursed microwave
• cursed monkey glove
• cursed monkey's paw
• cursed pony keg
• cursed ring finger ring
• custom avatar form
• dandy lion cub
• deactivated RoboGoose
• deactivated nanobots
• deanimated reanimator's coffin
• defective Game Grid token
• defective Golden Mr. Accessory
• deflated inflatable dodecapede
• demon makeup kit
• designer sweatpants
• detective school application
• diabolical crossbow
• dice belt buckle
• dice ring
• dice sunglasses
• dice-print do-rag
• dinged-up triangle
• dirty bottlecap
• dirty martini
• disconnected intergnat
• disintegrating barrel
• doppelshifter egg
• doubt cannon
• dreadful box
• dreadful glove
• dreaming Jung man
• drippy diadem
• drippy shield
• drippy snail shell
• dropped scrap of paper
• dusty barrel
• eerily silent box
• elf sleeper agent
• emo roe
• empty Rain-Doh can
• empty hourglass
• enhanced signal receiver
• envelope full of Meat
• etched hourglass
• evil flaming eyeball pendant
• exclusive club
• exclusive ultra-rare item
• experimental carbon fiber pasta additive
• exploding cigar
• extra DNA
• extra ooze
• extra special Crimbo stocking
• familiar scrapbook
• fancy chess set
• fascinating alien zoological sample
• fear condenser
• festive sausage
• festive warbear bank
• fetus-smashing club
• fist turkey outline
• fistful of ashes
• flagstone flagments
• flaming familiar doppelgänger
• flaming juggler's balls
• flaming pink shirt
• flashing novelty button
• fleshy lump
• flickering pixel
• floaty stone sphere
• foam commodore's hat
• foam naval trousers
• fragile Christmas ornament
• fragment of Jarlsberg's soul
• frankincenser
• fresh coat of paint
• frigid derringer
• funny paper hat
• fuzzy bracelets
• gasmask
• gattoo
• genie bottle
• genie's bracers
• genie's pants
• genie's scimitar
• genie's turbane
• giant diamond ring
• glass of "milk"
• golden monkey statuette
• golden pet rock
• golden sausage
• googly chest eyes
• gory drippy orb
• governor's daughter's lace collar
• governor's daughter's pearl hairpin
• governor's daughter's petticoats
• gravyskin hat
• grease cannon
• greedy ghostling
• green candygram
• green face paint
• green glowstick
• green traffic cone
• gregarious ghostling
• grinning ghostling
• grisly shield
• grogtini
• guild application
• haiku katana
• hand of Mr. Cards
• hand turkey outline
• hand-knitted Crimbo socks
• hand-knitted diving booties
• handful of split pea soup
• hangman's hood
• hardened slime belt
• hardened slime hat
• hardened slime pants
• haunted bindle
• haunted doghouse
• heart-shaped crate
• hemp backpack
• heteroerotic frat-paddle
• hewn moon-rune spoon
• hi-density nylocite leg armor
• hibernating Grimstone Golem
• hippo tutu
• hobo code binder
• hockey stick of furious angry rage
• holiday cheese log
• holiday smorgasbord
• holiday trip around the world
• homeless hobo spirit
• homemade robot
• hopeful candle
• hourglass
• hungover chauvinist pig
• hypnodisk
• ice baby
• ice pick
• ice skates
• iceberglet
• in-the-box spring shoes
• incense bath ball
• incredibly dense meat gem
• indie comic hipster glasses
• industrial fire extinguisher
• infant sandworm
• infinite BACON machine
• innuendo
• intergalactic pom poms
• jewel-eyed wizard hat
• jitterbug larva
• jolly roger tattoo kit
• jug of Sneaky Pete's Mojo
• kerosene-soaked skip
• kevlateflocite helmet
• kitten burglar
• large stone triangle
• laser cannon
• laser targeting chip
• latte lovers club card
• latte lovers member's mug
• left bear arm
• li'l ghost costume
• li'l orphan tot
• liar's pants
• little firkin
• llama lama cria
• locked mumming trunk
• longbox of Batfellow comics
• lucky Tam O'Shanter
• lucky Tam O'Shatner
• lump of bauxite
• lustrous drippy orb
• luxury fly-tying workbench
• machine elf capsule
• malevolent medallion
• map to Anemone Mine
• map to Dolph Bossin's hideout
• map to Madness Reef
• map to the Cursed Village
• map to the Dive Bar
• map to the Marinara Trench
• map to the Mystic Wood
• map to the Putrid Swamp
• map to the Skate Park
• map to the Sprawling Cemetery
• map to the Towering Mountains
• mayfly bait necklace
• meatball machine
• mechanically-mulled cider
• medium stone triangle
• meteorite earring
• meteorite guard
• meteorite necklace
• meteorite ring
• military orb
• mime army infiltration glove
• mime army insignia (psychological warfare)
• mime pocket probe
• mime-proof sunglasses
• miming gloves
• miniature crystal ball
• miniature gravy-covered maypole
• miniature stuffed Goth Giant
• miniscule temporal rip
• mint condition Lil' Doctor™ bag
• misshapen animal skeleton
• moaiball
• moist barrel
• moist sack
• moon-amber necklace
• motivational poster
• mouldering barrel
• moveable feast
• mumming trunk
• murderbot memory chip
• mutant cactus bud
• mutant crown
• mutant fire ant egg
• mutant legs
• myrrh pouch
• myrrh-soaked, chocolate-covered bacon bath ball
• mysterious present
• nativity shorts
• naughty fortune teller
• naughty origami kit
• naughty paper shuriken
• nauseating reagent
• navel ring of navel gazing
• neck wreath
• nervous tick egg
• nest egg
• newly-hatched mayonnaise wasp
• ninja pirate zombie robot
• normal barrel
• note from Clancy
• novelty monorail ticket
• nylon Christmas stockings
• off-hand balloon
• old school Mafia knickerbockers
• one million meat pancakes
• optimal spreadsheet
• orange glowstick
• origami "gentlemen's" magazine
• origami pasties
• origami riding crop
• ornamental sextant
• orphan baby yeti
• outrageous sombrero
• over-the-shoulder Folder Holder
• oxygenated eggnog helmet
• packaged Pocket Professor
• packet of beer seeds
• packet of rock seeds
• packet of tall grass seeds
• packet of thanksgarden seeds
• packet of winter seeds
• pantogram
• party pup
• passed-out psychedelic bear
• peace shooter
• peasco sour
• peppermint harpoon gun
• perfect Christmas scarf
• perfectly fair coin
• perfectly ordinary frog
• pernicious cudgel
• personal raindrop
• personalized wassail stein
• phase-tuned shield generator belt
• pile of smoking rags
• pilgrim shield
• pink glowstick
• pirate hook
• pirate pantaloons
• plans for depleted Grimacite astrolabe
• plans for depleted Grimacite grappling hook
• plans for depleted Grimacite gravy boat
• plans for depleted Grimacite hammer
• plastic vampire fangs
• plexifoam chin strap
• plexiglass pendant
• plexiglass pocketwatch
• plush hamsterpus
• polymorphic fastening apparatus
• portable Mayo Clinic
• portable housekeeping robot
• portable pantogram
• potted power plant
• praying Grim Brother
• present
• primitive alien blowgun
• primitive alien loincloth
• primitive alien necklace
• primitive alien totem
• profane eye patch
• protonic accelerator pack
• psychic's amulet
• psychic's circlet
• psychic's crystal ball
• psychic's pslacks
• psychoanalytic jar
• pumpkin spice whorl
• purple glowstick
• puzzling ribbon
• puzzling trophy
• pygmy bugbear shaman
• quantized familiar
• quantized familiar experience
• quantum disintegrator pistol
• quantum watch
• raffle ticket
• ragged wool yarn
• rainbow pearl
• rainbow pearl earring
• rainbow pearl necklace
• rainbow pearl ring
• real cowboy hat
• recovered cufflinks
• red and green rain stick
• red face paint
• red traffic cone
• red-hot medallion
• refurbished air fryer
• regret hose
• rehearsing dramatic hedgehog
• repaid diaper
• replica Ten Dollars
• replica bat-oomerang
• right bear arm
• ring
• rose-colored glasses
• rotting barrel
• rubber WWBBDD? bracelet
• rum ball
• rune-strewn spoon cocoon
• rusty metal greaves
• rxr shield
• saffron antaravasaka
• saffron uttarasanga
• sangria del diablo
• sausage golem
• seal medal
• second-hand knockoff engagement ring
• set of Unobtainium straps
• shadow candle
• shadow pill
• shapeless wide-brimmed hat
• shot of Sneaky Pete's Mojo
• shrine to the Barrel god
• siesta-ing Casagnova gnome
• signal receiver
• silent nightlight
• silicon-infused gluteal shield
• silk garter snake
• silver sausage
• sinister demon mask
• skewered cherry
• skewered jumbo olive
• skewered lime
• sleeping piano cat
• sleeping profane parrot
• slime fedora
• slime knuckles
• slime waders
• slime-covered club
• slime-covered compass
• slime-covered greaves
• slime-covered helmet
• slime-covered lantern
• slime-covered necklace
• slime-covered shovel
• slime-covered speargun
• slime-covered staff
• slime-soaked brain
• slime-soaked hypophysis
• slime-soaked sweat gland
• slow jam collection
• small Crimbo Pressie
• small stone triangle
• smoldering bagel punch
• sneaky wrapping paper
• snowman-enchanting tophat
• sober pill
• soft cap of diminishing returns
• sorority girl's box
• soul monocle
• space planula
• space trooper helmet
• spaghetti breakfast
• spandex anniversary shorts
• spant egg casing
• spant spear
• sparking El Vibrato drone
• sparkly engagement ring
• special edition Batfellow comic
• speed limit shield
• spinal-fluid-covered emotion chip
• spirit bell
• spooky rattling cigar box
• spring shoes
• squamous polyp
• squirming Slime larva
• standards and practices guide
• steaming evil
• still grill
• stinky cheese ball
• stinky cheese diaper
• stinky cheese eye
• stinky cheese sword
• stinky cheese wheel
• strange stone pyramid
• streetfighting champion's belt
• stuffed yam stinkbomb
• stuffed-shirt scarecrow
• styrofoam peanuts
• subscription cocoa dispenser
• sucker bucket
• sucker hakama
• sucker kabuto
• sucker tachi
• sugar raygun
• super-sweet boom box
• superhero mask
• suspicious package
• suspicious stocking
• sweet nutcracker
• sweet potato o' mine
• sweet potato punch
• synthetic dog hair pill
• tabletop candy dispenser
• talking spade
• tankard of spiced rum
• tattoo gun
• tattoo of two turkeys
• tearaway pants
• testy toolbox
• the finger
• thermos of "whiskey"
• tie-dye headband
• tie-dyed fannypack
• time-twitching toolbelt
• tin star
• tiny Tina gun
• tiny black hole
• tiny ember
• tiny plastic "Santa Claus"
• tiny plastic Colonel Brando
• tiny plastic Jedediah and Boiling Cloud
• tiny plastic Naughty Sorceress
• tiny plastic St. Patrick
• tiny plastic spoiler
• tiny plastic sword
• tiny stillsuit
• ultimate wad
• unbreakable umbrella
• unearthed volcanic meteoroid
• unemployed hunchbacked minion
• uniclops egg
• unopened Bird-a-Day calendar
• unopened diabolic pizza cube box
• unpowered Robortender
• unwound cymbal-playing monkey
• unwound mechanical songbird
• unwrapped knock-off retro superhero cape
• vampyric cloake
• vampyric cloake pattern
• vanilla-frosted king cake
• velour veneer
• vesper
• villainous scythe
• voodoo doll
• voter registration form
• wad of Crovacite
• wand of fudge control
• warbear black box
• warbear breakfast machine
• warbear officer requisition box
• warbear requisition box
• warbear soda machine
• wardrobe-o-matic
• weathered barrel
• webbed comic mask
• whirled peas
• witch's bra
• wizard action figure
• wolf whistle
• wrapping paper
• wriggling worm
• xo-skeleton-in-a-box
• yam
• yam and swiss
• yam burrito
• yam martini
• yam mayo
• yam slider
• yellow glowstick
• yellow puck
• yellow puck with a bow on it
• yellow traffic cone
• yield shield
• yule grog
• yuletide troll chrysalis
• zombie monkey necklace