| #18 | 17-ball | 1 |
| #15 | A Guide to Burning Leaves | 4 |
| #1457 | Amulet of Yendor | 1 |
| #2231 | Ancient Saucehelm | 1 |
| #834 | Angelhair Culottes | 1 |
| #1229 | Argarggagarg's fang | 1 |
| #76 | Bag o' Tricks | 1 |
| #843 | Bandolier of the Spaghetti Elemental | 1 |
| #10 | Beach Comb Box | 3 |
| #4 | Better Shrooms and Gardens catalog | 3 |
| #186 | Better Than Cuddling Cake | 11 |
| 🥈 | Big Candy's tophat | 1 |
| #16 | Black and White Apron Enrollment Form | 3 |
| #909 | Bling of the New Wave | 1 |
| #201 | Breathetastic™ Premium Canned Air | 17 |
| 🥈 | C.B.F.G. | 1 |
| #46 | Camp Scout backpack | 1 |
| #182 | Chester's bag of candy | 1 |
| #176 | Chester's cutoffs | 1 |
| #56 | Chester's moustache | 2 |
| #83 | Chester's muscle shirt | 1 |
| #51 | ChibiBuddy™ (off) | 1 |
| #42 | Clan VIP Lounge invitation | 2 |
| #740 | Claw of the Infernal Seal | 1 |
| #75 | Cocktails of the Age of Sail | 1 |
| #2464 | Colander of Em-er'il | 1 |
| #7 | Comprehensive Cartographic Compendium | 3 |
| #7 | Congressional Medal of Insanity | 1 |
| #469 | Corpse Island iced tea | 11 |
| #28 | Covers-Your-Head | 1 |
| #31 | Crimbo Factory surprise box | 60 |
| #53 | Crimbo dinner | 15 |
| #6 | Crimbomination Contraption | 1 |
| #64 | Crimbosmopolitan | 17 |
| #47 | Crimbow Rainbo | 1 |
| #57 | Crimbuccaneer bombjacket | 1 |
| #86 | Crimbuccaneer breeches | 1 |
| #128 | Crimbuccaneer captain's purse | 1 |
| #58 | Crimbuccaneer fledges (disintegrating) | 1 |
| #110 | Crimbuccaneer fledges (mint) | 1 |
| #216 | Crimbuccaneer flotsam | 1 |
| #84 | Crimbuccaneer invasion map | 1 |
| #59 | Crimbuccaneer lantern | 1 |
| #144 | Crimbuccaneer mologrog cocktail | 1 |
| #73 | Crimbuccaneer nose ring | 1 |
| #91 | Crimbuccaneer premium booty sack | 1 |
| #154 | Crimbuccaneer rigging lasso | 1 |
| #47 | Crimbuccaneer runebone | 1 |
| #129 | Crimbuccaneer shirt | 1 |
| #84 | Crimbuccaneer squirtblunderbuss | 1 |
| #105 | Crimbuccaneer tattoo gift certificate | 1 |
| #35 | Crimbuccaneer tavern swab | 1 |
| #88 | Crimbuccaneer tricorn | 1 |
| 🥇 | Crimbuccaneer war standard | 1 |
| #138 | Crimbuccaneer whale oil | 1 |
| #4 | CyberRealm keycode | 3 |
| #26 | Dallas Dynasty Falcon Crest shield | 1 |
| #16 | Dark Jill-of-All-Trades | 4 |
| #229 | Deactivated O. A. F. | 3 |
| #2663 | Disco 'Fro Pick | 1 |
| #9 | Distant Woods Getaway Brochure | 3 |
| #17 | Drapes-You-Regally | 1 |
| #23 | Drunkula's cape | 1 |
| #28 | Drunkula's silky pants | 1 |
| #1789 | El Sombrero De Lopez | 1 |
| #42 | El Vibrato energy spear | 1 |
| #45 | El Vibrato helmet | 1 |
| #31 | El Vibrato leg guards | 1 |
| #493 | El Vibrato power sphere | 1 |
| #81 | El Vibrato punchcard (104 holes) | 1 |
| #161 | El Vibrato punchcard (115 holes) | 1 |
| #291 | El Vibrato punchcard (129 holes) | 1 |
| #258 | El Vibrato punchcard (142 holes) | 1 |
| #216 | El Vibrato punchcard (165 holes) | 1 |
| #232 | El Vibrato punchcard (176 holes) | 1 |
| #227 | El Vibrato punchcard (182 holes) | 1 |
| #197 | El Vibrato punchcard (213 holes) | 1 |
| #323 | El Vibrato punchcard (216 holes) | 1 |
| #298 | El Vibrato punchcard (88 holes) | 1 |
| #284 | El Vibrato punchcard (97 holes) | 1 |
| #2384 | Elder Turtle Shell | 1 |
| #90 | Elf Guard Field Manual: Culinary Arts | 1 |
| #99 | Elf Guard Field Manual: Extortion | 1 |
| #79 | Elf Guard Field Manual: Wilderness Sleeping | 1 |
| #350 | Elf Guard MPC | 3 |
| #51 | Elf Guard SCUBA tank | 1 |
| #42 | Elf Guard broom | 1 |
| #55 | Elf Guard clipboard | 1 |
| #93 | Elf Guard commandeering gloves | 1 |
| #117 | Elf Guard eyedrops | 1 |
| #65 | Elf Guard fuel tank | 1 |
| #64 | Elf Guard hangover cure | 1 |
| #113 | Elf Guard honor present | 1 |
| #84 | Elf Guard hotpants | 1 |
| #72 | Elf Guard insignia (general) | 1 |
| #90 | Elf Guard insignia (private) | 1 |
| #101 | Elf Guard mouthknife | 1 |
| #108 | Elf Guard officer's sidearm | 1 |
| #84 | Elf Guard patrol cap | 1 |
| #121 | Elf Guard payroll bag | 1 |
| #58 | Elf Guard red and white beret | 1 |
| #87 | Elf Guard safety bear | 1 |
| #55 | Elf Guard squirtgun | 1 |
| #85 | Elf Guard strategic map | 1 |
| #151 | Elf Guard tinsel grenade | 1 |
| 🥇 | Elf Guard war standard | 1 |
| #73 | Elvish sunglasses | 1 |
| #37 | Elvish underarmor | 1 |
| #17 | Fourth of May Cosplay Saber kit | 3 |
| #213 | Frosty's carrot | 1 |
| #196 | Frosty's nailbat | 1 |
| #215 | Frosty's old silk hat | 1 |
| #121 | Frosty's snowball sack | 1 |
| 🥈 | Fuzzby | 1 |
| #777 | Galapagosian Cuisses | 1 |
| #787 | Garter of the Turtle Poacher | 1 |
| #788 | Go-Wassail | 10 |
| #725 | Gravyskin Belt of the Sauceblob | 1 |
| #30 | Great Wolf's headband | 1 |
| #29 | Great Wolf's left paw | 1 |
| #24 | Great Wolf's right paw | 1 |
| #1442 | Green Clover of Justice | 1 |
| #4 | Guzzlr application | 3 |
| #10 | Gygaxian Libram | 1 |
| #1149 | Heimandatz's heart | 1 |
| #488 | Hodgman's blanket | 2 |
| #8 | Hodgman's imaginary hamster | 1 |
| #97 | Hodgman's varcolac paw | 1 |
| #204 | Instant Karma | 53 |
| 🥇 | Jackass Plumber home game | 1 |
| #114 | Jamaican coffee | 1 |
| #1287 | Jocko Homo's head | 1 |
| #88 | Kelflar vest | 1 |
| #725 | Krakrox's Loincloth | 1 |
| #34 | LOLmec statuette | 2 |
| #815 | La Hebilla del Cinturón de Lopez | 1 |
| #778 | Lederhosen of the Night | 1 |
| #102 | Lil' Snowball Factory | 1 |
| #47 | Loathing Legion knife | 1 |
| #391 | Loudmouth Larry Lamprey | 105 |
| #263 | Mae West with a fly in it | 1 |
| #48 | Manual of Lock Picking | 1 |
| #6 | MayDay™ contract | 4 |
| #29 | Mayor Ghost's cloak | 1 |
| #23 | Mayor Ghost's khakis | 1 |
| #28 | Mayor Ghost's toupee | 1 |
| #47 | McHugeLarge deluxe ski set | 1 |
| #237 | Miniborg beeper | 2 |
| #223 | Miniborg hiveminder | 2 |
| #250 | Miniborg laser | 2 |
| #444 | Miniborg stomper | 1 |
| #405 | Miniborg strangler | 1 |
| #395 | Mob Penguin cellular phone | 51 |
| #91 | Mr. Accessory | 2 |
| #171 | Mr. Balloon | 1 |
| #53 | My First Paycheck envelope | 1 |
| #726 | Newman's Own Trousers | 1 |
| #217 | Ol' Scratch's ash can | 1 |
| #40 | Ol' Scratch's infernal pitchfork | 2 |
| #196 | Ol' Scratch's ol' britches | 1 |
| #187 | Ol' Scratch's stovepipe hat | 1 |
| #8 | Oopsie IPA | 1 |
| #51 | Operation Patriot Shield | 1 |
| #524 | Order of the Silver Wossname | 1 |
| #187 | Oscus's dumpster waders | 1 |
| #105 | Oscus's garbage can lid | 1 |
| #194 | Oscus's pelt | 1 |
| #5 | Our Daily Candles™ order form | 4 |
| #253 | Pan-Dimensional Gargle Blaster | 14 |
| #40 | PirateRealm membership packet | 1 |
| #83 | Pocket Guide to Mild Evil | 1 |
| 🥇 | Pocket Meteor Guide (well-thumbed) | 1 |
| #57 | Pocket Square of Loathing | 3 |
| #27 | Pokéfam Guide to Capturing All of Them | 1 |
| #438 | Retenez L'Herbe Paté | 5 |
| #6 | Retrospecs try-at-home kit | 2 |
| #7 | Rock Garden Guide | 5 |
| #5 | S.I.T. Course Voucher | 5 |
| #118 | Saccharine Maple pendant | 1 |
| #1073 | Safari Jack's moustache | 1 |
| #2543 | Scalp of Gorgolok | 1 |
| #319 | Schrödinger's thermos | 69 |
| #35 | Sealed TakerSpace letter of Marque | 2 |
| #57 | Skully's hot chocolate | 2 |
| #12 | Spacegate scientist's insignia | 1 |
| #40 | Spooky Surprise Egg | 421 |
| #1452 | St. Sneaky Pete's Day goodies basket | 1 |
| #62 | Swedish coffee | 1 |
| #30 | Talisman of Baio | 1 |
| #12 | Talisman of Bakula | 1 |
| #54 | The Encyclopedia of Fruit | 2 |
| #1038 | The Mariachi's guitar case | 1 |
| #13 | The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 1 | 3 |
| #13 | The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 2 | 3 |
| #11 | The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 3 | 3 |
| #13 | The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 4 | 3 |
| #11 | The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 5 | 3 |
| #12 | The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 6 | 3 |
| #49 | The Nose Knows, A Guide to Smells | 1 |
| #28 | Thunkula's drinking cap | 1 |
| #77 | Thwaitgold Goliath beetle statuette | 28 |
| #508 | Thwaitgold amoeba statuette | 1 |
| #1576 | Thwaitgold bee statuette | 1 |
| #97 | Thwaitgold bookworm statuette | 7 |
| #1416 | Thwaitgold dragonfly statuette | 1 |
| #1739 | Thwaitgold firefly statuette | 1 |
| #1947 | Thwaitgold grasshopper statuette | 1 |
| #808 | Thwaitgold slug statuette | 1 |
| #2348 | Thwaitgold stag beetle statuette | 1 |
| #32 | Thwaitgold termite statuette | 334 |
| 🥇 | Tickle-Me Emilio | 1 |
| #249 | Tiki lighter | 2 |
| #15 | Tome of Rad Libs | 1 |
| #14 | Too Cold to Hold: How to Be Cool - A Memoir | 3 |
| 🥇 | Trivial Avocations board game | 1 |
| #157 | Tropical Crimbo Hat | 1 |
| #160 | Tropical Crimbo Shorts | 1 |
| #60 | Tropical Crimbo Sword | 2 |
| #108 | Twelve Night Energy | 3 |
| #16 | Uncle Buck | 7 |
| #647 | Uncle Greenspan's Bathroom Finance Guide | 10 |
| #21 | Unkillable Skeleton's breastplate | 1 |
| #25 | Unkillable Skeleton's shinguards | 1 |
| #32 | Unkillable Skeleton's skullcap | 1 |
| 🥉 | Unopened Eight Days a Week Pill Keeper | 3 |
| #46 | V for Vivala mask | 1 |
| #916 | Volartta's bellbottoms | 1 |
| #204 | Wand of Oscus | 1 |
| #141 | Warm Subject gift certificate | 1,337 |
| #19 | Warms-Your-Tush | 1 |
| #16 | Xiblaxian residence-cube | 1 |
| #1120 | Yakisoba's hat | 1 |
| #182 | Zombo's grievous greaves | 1 |
| #188 | Zombo's shield | 1 |
| #105 | Zombo's shoulder blade | 1 |
| #191 | Zombo's skullcap | 1 |
| #13 | abandoned candy | 330 |
| #1573 | adorable seal larva | 1 |
| 🥇 | all-year sucker | 1 |
| #52 | ancient Elf dessert spoon | 1 |
| #117 | anniversary gift box | 10 |
| #535 | antique painting of a landscape | 1 |
| #714 | antique record album | 2 |
| #587 | antique souvenir drawing | 1 |
| #489 | around the world | 1 |
| #306 | aspirin | 3 |
| 🥈 | baby camelCalf | 3 |
| #36 | baby chest mimic | 3 |
| #80 | baby rigging snake | 1 |
| 🥈 | bag of Iunion stones | 4 |
| #1883 | bag of airline peanuts | 1 |
| #18 | bag of pygmy blood | 200 |
| #9 | bagged Cargo Cultist Shorts | 3 |
| #247 | ball-in-a-cup | 1 |
| #330 | banana | 16 |
| #1024 | banana-frosted king cake | 1 |
| #76 | barnacle-encrusted sweater | 1 |
| #4 | basking robin | 1 |
| #164 | begpwnia | 32 |
| 🥈 | biomechanical crimborg helmet | 1 |
| 🥈 | biomechanical crimborg leg armor | 1 |
| #1496 | bit of clingfilm | 1 |
| #873 | black candy heart | 1 |
| #634 | black pudding | 1 |
| #68 | black velvet box | 11 |
| #417 | black-and-blue light | 103 |
| #137 | blank diary | 1 |
| #9 | blank prescription sheet | 100 |
| #199 | blended frozen swill with a fly in it | 1 |
| #13 | blind-packed die-cast metal toy | 1,000 |
| #420 | blue plasma ball | 100 |
| #253 | blue plastic baby | 1 |
| #28 | book of facts | 4 |
| #980 | borg sock monkey | 1 |
| #539 | bottle of bubbles | 10 |
| #248 | bottle of single-barrel whiskey | 5 |
| #72 | bottle-rocket crossbow | 1 |
| #4 | bottled Vampire Vintner | 4 |
| 🥈 | box o' ghosts | 4 |
| #50 | box of Gratitude chocolates | 2 |
| #478 | box of sunshine | 711 |
| #20 | boxed Apriling band helmet | 4 |
| #23 | boxed Mayam Calendar | 4 |
| #21 | boxed Sept-Ember Censer | 3 |
| #10 | boxed august scepter | 5 |
| #7 | boxed autumn-aton | 5 |
| #71 | boxed bat wings | 1 |
| #67 | boxed gumball machine | 2 |
| #2709 | brick | 1 |
| #1294 | brine | 2 |
| #60 | brown pirate pants | 1 |
| #135 | brown plastic baby | 5 |
| #333 | bunch of bananas | 12 |
| #189 | bungle in the jungle | 6 |
| #250 | calle de miel with a fly in it | 1 |
| #212 | can of fake snow | 2 |
| #52 | can of mixed everything | 3 |
| #570 | candied bolts | 3 |
| #127 | candied nuts | 7 |
| #704 | candy kneecapping stick | 4 |
| #666 | candy knuckles | 4 |
| #101 | cannonbomb | 1 |
| #54 | canteen of eggnog | 1 |
| #54 | carnivorous potted plant | 2 |
| #79 | caustic slime nodule | 5 |
| #803 | cement sandals | 1 |
| #378 | cheap studded belt | 102 |
| #56 | chest of "pirate gold" | 1 |
| #65 | chocolate filthy lucre | 166 |
| #940 | chocolate-covered diamond-studded roses | 1 |
| #260 | chocolate-frosted king cake | 8 |
| #118 | chunk of depleted Grimacite | 94 |
| #7 | clan underground fireworks shop | 1 |
| #31 | clingfilm cap | 1 |
| #40 | clingfilm slippers | 1 |
| #34 | clingfilm trousers | 1 |
| #12 | closed-circuit phone system | 5 |
| #1795 | clown hammer | 1 |
| #212 | colored-light "necklace" | 2 |
| #14 | combat lover's locket lockbox | 3 |
| 🥉 | control crystal | 1 |
| #575 | corpse on the beach | 9 |
| #503 | corpsedriver | 10 |
| #581 | corpsetini | 9 |
| #7 | corroded breeches | 1 |
| #6 | corrosive cowl | 1 |
| #98 | cotton candy cocoon | 1 |
| #15 | crated wardrobe-o-matic | 2 |
| #29 | crazy bastard sword | 1 |
| #434 | cream pie | 1 |
| #113 | crotchety pants | 1 |
| #27 | crumpled felt fedora | 1 |
| #16 | cursed monkey glove | 5 |
| #7 | cursed pirate cutlass | 1 |
| #5 | cursed swash buckle | 1 |
| #4 | cursed tricorn hat | 1 |
| #840 | cyborg stompin' boot | 3 |
| #664 | cymbal syrup | 1 |
| #32 | dead guy's memento | 1 |
| #70 | deck of tropical cards | 5 |
| #8 | deed to Oliver's Place | 5 |
| #1477 | defective skull | 1 |
| #507 | depleted Grimacite kneecapping stick | 1 |
| #11 | designer sweatpants (new old stock) | 4 |
| #495 | doll house | 10 |
| #408 | dollhive | 21 |
| #7 | dreadful box | 3 |
| #1515 | duct tape | 8 |
| #80 | duct tape buckler | 1 |
| #127 | duct tape dockers | 1 |
| #92 | duct tape fedora | 1 |
| #75 | duct tape sword | 2 |
| #55 | dwarvish war helmet | 1 |
| #46 | dwarvish war kilt | 1 |
| #48 | dwarvish war mattock | 1 |
| #10 | elf sleeper agent | 1 |
| #1478 | elven cellocello | 13 |
| #1015 | elven suicide capsule | 19 |
| #7 | emotion chip | 3 |
| #202 | enchanted leopard-print barbell | 14 |
| #1180 | encoder ring | 1 |
| #315 | epic wad | 1 |
| #26 | evil-ass club | 1 |
| #156 | expensive cigar | 1 |
| #1773 | explosion-flavored chewing gum | 1 |
| #761 | fake blood | 1 |
| #1985 | fake fake vomit | 1 |
| #547 | fake hand | 50 |
| #1146 | fancy but probably evil chocolate | 5 |
| #325 | fancy chocolate | 9 |
| #216 | fancy chocolate car | 14 |
| #61 | festive egg sac | 3 |
| #100 | flask of egggrog | 1 |
| #356 | flavored foot massage oil | 120 |
| #356 | foam dart | 120 |
| #34 | foie gras | 100 |
| #32 | free boots | 1 |
| #24 | fresh can of paint | 1 |
| #1456 | friendly cheez blob | 1 |
| #45 | frigid-ass club | 1 |
| #843 | fudge lily | 1 |
| #63 | fudge pocket square | 1 |
| #867 | fudgecule | 200 |
| #177 | fudgecycle | 1 |
| #63 | ghost pickle on a stick | 15 |
| #19 | gingerbeard | 1 |
| #135 | gingerbread nylons | 1 |
| #274 | gingerbread robot | 4 |
| #263 | glow-in-the-dark wristwatch | 1 |
| #692 | golden ring | 40 |
| #60 | grandfather watch | 1 |
| #50 | grass blade | 3 |
| #194 | grass hat | 1 |
| #188 | grass skirt | 1 |
| #13 | green LavaCo Lamp™ | 1 |
| #11 | grey gosling | 3 |
| #98 | grog nuts | 1 |
| #34 | gunwale | 1 |
| #8 | gunwale whalegun | 1 |
| #376 | guy made of bee pollen | 7 |
| #150 | haiku katana | 1 |
| #182 | half-orchid | 22 |
| #183 | handful of Crotchety Pine needles | 1 |
| #4479 | handful of confetti | 2 |
| #132 | hardened slime belt | 1 |
| #149 | hardened slime hat | 1 |
| #142 | hardened slime pants | 1 |
| 🥇 | heart of dark chocolate | 1 |
| #437 | heart of the volcano | 16 |
| #1205 | herringcello | 16 |
| #8 | hippo tutu | 1 |
| #5 | hobo monkey | 1 |
| #734 | hobo nickel | 175 |
| #17 | hockey stick of furious angry rage | 1 |
| #11 | honey dipper | 1 |
| #8 | honeybritches | 1 |
| #19 | honeycap | 1 |
| #102 | hot wine | 1 |
| #47 | huge bowl of candy | 54 |
| #18 | hypnodisk | 1 |
| #28 | hypodermic needle | 50 |
| #62 | ice sickle | 1 |
| #1588 | immense cyborg hand | 3 |
| #28 | in-the-box spring shoes | 3 |
| #22 | incredibly dense meat gem | 1 |
| #298 | iron pasta spoon | 22 |
| #1453 | jawbruiser | 2 |
| #1828 | jazz soap | 1 |
| #806 | jerky coins | 10 |
| #1882 | joybuzzer | 1 |
| #55 | karma shawarma | 5 |
| #1493 | killing feather | 32 |
| #254 | kneecapping stick | 62 |
| #737 | laser-broiled pear | 12 |
| #210 | lesser grodulated violet | 20 |
| #976 | licorice garrote | 3 |
| #105 | little box of fireworks | 1 |
| #510 | live wire | 2 |
| #193 | lump of Saccharine Maple sap | 1 |
| #24 | lustrous oyster egg | 24 |
| #1429 | macaroni duck | 1 |
| #498 | mafia aria | 45 |
| #31 | mafia pointer finger ring | 1 |
| #1891 | magical ice cube with a fly in it | 1 |
| #39 | magical pony: Uniquity | 167 |
| #238 | mandarina colada with a fly in it | 1 |
| #65 | massive wrench | 1 |
| #64 | mauve paisley oyster egg | 30 |
| #115 | military-grade peppermint oil | 1 |
| #56 | mini kiwi egg | 1 |
| #27 | mint condition magnifying glass | 1 |
| #4 | mint-in-box Powerful Glove | 2 |
| #108 | misfit dolly | 1 |
| #8 | moaiball | 1 |
| #699 | monomolecular yo-yo | 61 |
| #730 | mood ring | 1 |
| #40 | moveable feast | 1 |
| #60 | mulled wine | 1 |
| #12 | mummified entombed cookbookbat | 3 |
| #73 | mysterious chest | 1 |
| #132 | nanite-infested candy cane | 116 |
| #846 | nanite-infested eggnog | 6 |
| #3326 | nanite-infested fruitcake | 1 |
| #2715 | nanite-infested gingerbread bugbear | 2 |
| #213 | natty blue ascot | 2 |
| 🥉 | naughty fortune teller | 1 |
| #1125 | night-vision goggles | 1 |
| #65 | ninja pirate zombie robot | 1 |
| #19 | numberwang | 1 |
| #490 | nut-shaped Crimbo cookie | 3 |
| #10 | ocarina of space | 1,337 |
| #55 | off-white paisley oyster egg | 30 |
| #19 | off-white polka-dot oyster egg | 100 |
| #116 | officer's nog | 1 |
| #31 | old patched suit-pants | 1 |
| #93 | old-school pirate grog | 1 |
| #9 | optimal spreadsheet | 1 |
| #311 | oriole-feather headdress | 4 |
| #153 | outrageous sombrero | 1 |
| #1290 | oversized fish scaler | 4 |
| #78 | pack of pogs | 220 |
| #9 | packaged Daylight Shavings Helmet | 4 |
| #17 | packaged Everfull Dart Holster | 4 |
| #8 | packaged June cleaver | 3 |
| #9 | packaged Jurassic Parka | 5 |
| #5 | packaged Pocket Professor | 3 |
| #15 | packaged Roman Candelabra | 4 |
| 🥉 | packaged SpinMaster™ lathe | 4 |
| #14 | packaged backup camera | 2 |
| #13 | packaged cold medicine cabinet | 4 |
| #4 | packaged familiar scrapbook | 4 |
| #6 | packaged industrial fire extinguisher | 3 |
| #5 | packaged knock-off retro superhero cape | 3 |
| #5 | packaged miniature crystal ball | 3 |
| #12 | packaged model train set | 4 |
| #1325 | pair of bolt cutters | 1 |
| #363 | parasitic claw | 1 |
| #228 | parasitic headgnawer | 1 |
| #234 | parasitic strangleworm | 1 |
| #191 | parasitic tentacles | 1 |
| #625 | passable elf mask | 8 |
| #58 | peace turkey outline | 1 |
| #82 | pegfinger | 1 |
| #1157 | penguin focaccia bread | 16 |
| #330 | penguin skin | 245 |
| #85 | peppermint bomb | 1 |
| #102 | peppermint tack | 2 |
| #237 | perpendicular hula with a fly in it | 1 |
| #260 | personal massager | 101 |
| #454 | personalized coffee mug | 120 |
| #119 | pet anchor | 1 |
| #1651 | pet rock "Groucho" disguise | 1 |
| #1882 | pet rock "Snooty" disguise | 1 |
| #435 | petit 4.1 | 3 |
| #332 | phish stick | 3 |
| #168 | pile of loose snow | 1 |
| #25 | pill cup | 1,500 |
| #183 | pink plastic baby | 3 |
| #25 | pirate encryption key (complete) | 1 |
| #47 | pirate encryption key alpha | 1 |
| #46 | pirate encryption key bravo | 1 |
| #50 | pirate encryption key charlie | 1 |
| #49 | pirate encryption key delta | 1 |
| #95 | plastic pumpkin bucket | 1 |
| #27 | plush alielf | 1 |
| #756 | pocketwatch on a chain | 4 |
| #459 | poison pen | 4 |
| #1394 | polyalloy shield | 3 |
| #33 | potato alarm clock | 8 |
| #8 | potato jacket | 1 |
| #9 | potted tea tree | 2 |
| #37 | pottery barn owl figurine | 1 |
| #6 | power seed | 3 |
| #99 | prank Crimbo card | 1 |
| #247 | prussian cathouse with a fly in it | 1 |
| #18 | pumpkin spice whorl | 1 |
| #56 | punching mirror | 1 |
| #42 | raffle prize box | 11 |
| #9 | ratskin pajama pants | 1 |
| #80 | really nice lump of coal | 1 |
| #10 | red LavaCo Lamp™ | 1 |
| #106 | red and white claret | 1 |
| #212 | red plastic baby | 2 |
| 🥈 | red plumber's boots | 1 |
| #31 | red white and blue claret | 1 |
| #8 | red-spotted snapper roe | 2 |
| 🥉 | repaid diaper | 1 |
| #44 | replica Elf Guard medal | 1 |
| #110 | roasted marshmallow | 313 |
| #1103 | roboduck-on-a-string | 1 |
| #590 | robotronic egg | 48 |
| #20 | rock lobster | 1 |
| #183 | rockin' wagon with a fly in it | 1 |
| #1033 | rogue swarmer | 51 |
| #493 | roll of toilet paper | 170 |
| #1959 | rubber emo roe | 1 |
| #116 | rum-soaked fruitcake | 1 |
| #10 | rune-strewn spoon cocoon | 4 |
| #310 | sandwich of the gods | 14 |
| #1377 | sawblade fragment | 40 |
| #81 | sawed-off blunderbuss | 1 |
| #109 | scroll of pasta summoning | 151 |
| #7 | sea salt scrubs | 100 |
| 🥉 | sealskin drum | 1 |
| #52 | sequin-encrusted sweater | 1 |
| #82 | shadowy seal eye | 1 |
| #98 | shipwright's hammer | 1 |
| #7 | shortest-order cook | 4 |
| #9 | shrink-wrapped 2002 Mr. Store Catalog | 5 |
| #12 | shrink-wrapped Cincho de Mayo | 5 |
| 🥉 | sinistral homunculus | 3 |
| #239 | slap and tickle with a fly in it | 1 |
| #21 | sleeping patriotic eagle | 4 |
| #275 | slimy fermented bile bladder | 27 |
| #278 | slimy sweetbreads | 25 |
| 🥉 | snow belly | 1 |
| #10 | snow hat | 1 |
| 🥉 | snow pants | 1 |
| #6 | snowman-enchanting tophat | 1 |
| #71 | solid shifting time weirdness | 1 |
| #231 | spectral pickle | 75 |
| 🥈 | speed limit shield | 1 |
| #7 | sphygmomanometer | 300 |
| #33 | spooky hockey mask | 33 |
| #348 | stick-on eyebrow piercing | 120 |
| #4 | stinky cheese diaper | 1 |
| #572 | strange cube | 1 |
| #1341 | stray chihuahua | 1 |
| #176 | stuffed Hodgman | 2 |
| #97 | stuffed kraken | 1 |
| #395 | stuffed ninja snowman | 11 |
| #1003 | sturdy Crimbo crate | 10 |
| 🥈 | subscription cocoa dispenser | 2 |
| #117 | sugarplum ration | 1 |
| #112 | sundae ration | 1 |
| #337 | support cummerbund | 21 |
| #14 | surgical mask | 100 |
| #5 | surgical tape | 500 |
| #55 | synthetic rock | 2 |
| #225 | tangarita with a fly in it | 1 |
| #255 | tattered paper crown | 3 |
| #930 | teddy borg | 7 |
| #91 | ten-leaf clover | 500 |
| #49 | the Crymbich Manuscript | 3 |
| #1220 | throwing wrench | 3 |
| #42 | time helmet | 1 |
| #25 | time sword | 2 |
| #43 | time trousers | 1 |
| #17 | time-twitching toolbelt | 1 |
| #188 | tin cup of mulligan stew | 6 |
| #210 | tin magnolia | 25 |
| #174 | tin star | 1 |
| #92 | tiny costume wardrobe | 1 |
| #938 | tiny die-cast Bashful the Reindeer | 1 |
| #957 | tiny die-cast CrimboTown Toy Factory | 1 |
| #938 | tiny die-cast Doc the Reindeer | 1 |
| #612 | tiny die-cast Don Crimbo | 1 |
| #929 | tiny die-cast Dopey the Reindeer | 1 |
| #602 | tiny die-cast Father Crimbo | 1 |
| #633 | tiny die-cast Father Crimborg | 1 |
| #931 | tiny die-cast Grumpy the Reindeer | 1 |
| #929 | tiny die-cast Happy the Reindeer | 1 |
| #613 | tiny die-cast Rudolphus of Crimborg | 1 |
| #935 | tiny die-cast Sleepy the Reindeer | 1 |
| #946 | tiny die-cast Sneezy the Reindeer | 1 |
| #565 | tiny die-cast Swiss hen | 1 |
| #591 | tiny die-cast Uncle Hobo | 1 |
| #941 | tiny die-cast Unionize the Elves Sign | 1 |
| #939 | tiny die-cast Zeppo the Reindeer | 1 |
| #563 | tiny die-cast arc-welding Elfborg | 1 |
| #593 | tiny die-cast blade a-spinning | 1 |
| #586 | tiny die-cast death ray in a pear tree | 1 |
| #953 | tiny die-cast factory worker elf | 1 |
| #928 | tiny die-cast gift-wrapping elf | 1 |
| #554 | tiny die-cast golden ring | 1 |
| #569 | tiny die-cast goose a-laying | 1 |
| #550 | tiny die-cast killing bird | 1 |
| #949 | tiny die-cast middle-management elf | 1 |
| #951 | tiny die-cast pencil-pusher elf | 1 |
| #581 | tiny die-cast ribbon-cutting Elfborg | 1 |
| #940 | tiny die-cast stocking-stuffer elf | 1 |
| #552 | tiny die-cast swarm a-swarming | 1 |
| #567 | tiny die-cast turtle mech | 1 |
| #650 | tiny plastic 11 Dealer | 1 |
| #8 | tiny plastic Abuela's cottage | 2 |
| #1418 | tiny plastic Ancient Unspeakable Bugbear | 1 |
| #21 | tiny plastic Armory | 1 |
| #18 | tiny plastic Bar | 1 |
| #1155 | tiny plastic Battlesuit Bugbear Type | 1 |
| #1161 | tiny plastic Beebee King | 1 |
| #796 | tiny plastic Bugbear Captain | 1 |
| #18 | tiny plastic Cafe | 1 |
| #1328 | tiny plastic Charity the Zombie Hunter | 1 |
| #1157 | tiny plastic Clancy the Minstrel | 1 |
| #620 | tiny plastic Crimbo Casino | 1 |
| #4313 | tiny plastic Crimbo elf | 1 |
| #2897 | tiny plastic Crimbo reindeer | 2 |
| #2899 | tiny plastic Crimbo wreath | 1 |
| #576 | tiny plastic Crimbomination | 1 |
| #1550 | tiny plastic Crimboween pentagram | 1 |
| #635 | tiny plastic Don Crimbo | 1 |
| #20 | tiny plastic Factory | 1 |
| #1328 | tiny plastic Father McGruber | 1 |
| #175 | tiny plastic GORM-8 | 1 |
| #1358 | tiny plastic Hank North, Photojournalist | 1 |
| #169 | tiny plastic K.R.A.M.P.U.S. | 1 |
| #778 | tiny plastic Lord Flameface | 1 |
| #1318 | tiny plastic Norville Rogers | 1 |
| #1140 | tiny plastic Queen Bee | 1 |
| #772 | tiny plastic Rene C. Corman | 1 |
| #1343 | tiny plastic Scott the Miner | 1 |
| #172 | tiny plastic Toybot | 1 |
| #2948 | tiny plastic Uncle Crimbo | 1 |
| #1121 | tiny plastic Wu Tang the Betrayer | 1 |
| #1376 | tiny plastic angry space marine | 1 |
| #1359 | tiny plastic batbugbear | 1 |
| #1363 | tiny plastic bee swarm | 1 |
| #1368 | tiny plastic beebee gunners | 1 |
| #1349 | tiny plastic beebee queue | 1 |
| #1718 | tiny plastic bitchin' meatcar | 3 |
| #1354 | tiny plastic black ops bugbear | 1 |
| #1329 | tiny plastic blazing bat | 1 |
| #1344 | tiny plastic bugaboo | 1 |
| #1345 | tiny plastic buzzerker | 1 |
| #1357 | tiny plastic cavebugbear | 1 |
| #1130 | tiny plastic fire servant | 1 |
| #71 | tiny plastic four-shadowed mime | 1 |
| #188 | tiny plastic hypodermic bugbear | 22 |
| #1346 | tiny plastic moneybee | 1 |
| #1338 | tiny plastic mumblebee | 1 |
| #1137 | tiny plastic peacannon | 1 |
| #1127 | tiny plastic spiderbugbear | 1 |
| #584 | tiny plastic stocking mimic | 1 |
| #1120 | tiny plastic the Free Man | 1 |
| #192 | tiny plastic warbear | 1 |
| #178 | tiny plastic warbear fortress | 1 |
| #107 | tiny slimy cyst | 15 |
| 🥈 | tongue depressor | 500 |
| #120 | tree skirt | 3 |
| #74 | trick coin | 1 |
| #84 | tropical paperweight | 4 |
| #185 | tropical wrapping paper | 5 |
| #210 | twinkly wad | 1,337 |
| #5 | undamaged Unbreakable Umbrella | 4 |
| #4 | undrilled cosmic bowling ball | 4 |
| #88 | unlocked meat locker | 2 |
| #11 | unoccupied sheep suit | 4 |
| #6 | unopened Bird-a-Day calendar | 3 |
| #5 | unopened diabolic pizza cube box | 3 |
| #12 | unopened tiny stillsuit | 4 |
| #1281 | unstable laser battery | 40 |
| #1355 | untamable turtle | 1 |
| #1548 | unusual disco ball | 1 |
| #212 | upsy daisy | 20 |
| #39 | vampyric cloake pattern | 1 |
| #438 | vanilla-frosted king cake | 3 |
| #370 | vibrating cyborg knife | 12 |
| #8 | villainous scythe | 1 |
| #6 | vintage smart drink | 250 |
| #369 | vitachoconutriment capsule | 15 |
| #602 | voodoo snuff | 1 |
| #655 | wad of cotton | 3 |
| #127 | wad of slimy rags | 7 |
| 🥇 | wand of fudge control | 1 |
| #142 | wang | 28 |
| #186 | warbear auto-anvil | 1 |
| #107 | warbear badge | 1 |
| #435 | warbear battery | 2 |
| #228 | warbear bearserker potion | 2 |
| #146 | warbear beeping telegram | 9 |
| #39 | warbear breakfast machine assembler | 12 |
| #47 | warbear chemistry lab | 4 |
| #64 | warbear drone assembler | 9 |
| #125 | warbear empathy chip | 5 |
| #20 | warbear empathy chip (used) | 1 |
| #25 | warbear energy bracers | 7 |
| #79 | warbear exhaust manifold | 3 |
| #188 | warbear exo-arm | 1 |
| #197 | warbear feasting bread | 1 |
| #190 | warbear feasting mead | 1 |
| #124 | warbear foil hat | 2 |
| #166 | warbear gyro | 1 |
| #76 | warbear gyrocopter | 11 |
| #192 | warbear high-efficiency still | 1 |
| #28 | warbear induction oven | 4 |
| #50 | warbear jackhammer drill press | 4 |
| #200 | warbear laser beacon | 1 |
| #68 | warbear liquid lasers | 2 |
| #273 | warbear liquid overcoat | 1 |
| #168 | warbear metalworking primer | 7 |
| #215 | warbear officer requisition box | 1 |
| #114 | warbear oil pan | 2 |
| #238 | warbear procedural hilarity drone | 5 |
| #381 | warbear requisition box | 1 |
| #147 | warbear robo-camouflage unit | 9 |
| #108 | warbear sequential gaiety distribution system | 11 |
| #78 | warbear soda machine assembler | 7 |
| #227 | warbear wardance potion | 3 |
| #134 | warbear warrior bread | 1 |
| #379 | warbear whosit | 200 |
| #49 | wet tack | 1 |
| #118 | whale cerebrospinal fluid | 1 |
| #62 | whalecake | 1 |
| #40 | whalegun | 1 |
| #116 | whalesteak | 1 |
| #1933 | whoopie cushion | 1 |
| #91 | willowy bonnet | 1 |
| #2053 | wind-up chattering teeth | 1 |
| #598 | wind-up meatcar | 10 |
| #24 | wrapped candy cane sword cane | 4 |
| #1454 | x-ray specs | 1 |
| #39 | yellow rocket | 1 |
| #37 | yule grog | 1 |
| #18 | zombie accordion | 1 |
| #21 | zombie mariachi hat | 1 |
| #29 | zombie mariachi pants | 1 |