| 🥇 | Franken Stein | 1 |
| #22 | A Beginner's Guide to Charming Snakes (used) | 1 |
| #72 | A Guide to Burning Leaves | 1 |
| 🥈 | Abuela Crimbo's special magnet | 1 |
| 🥈 | All-Hallow's Steve's fright wig | 1 |
| #72 | Aluminum Epsilon of Humility | 4 |
| #658 | Ancient Saucehelm | 4 |
| #222 | Angelhair Culottes | 5 |
| #342 | Argarggagarg's fang | 5 |
| #27 | Ax of L'rose | 1 |
| #226 | Bandolier of the Spaghetti Elemental | 5 |
| #91 | Barney's rake | 3 |
| #1274 | Baron von Ratsworth's monocle | 9 |
| #138 | Beach Buck | 13 |
| 🥈 | Big Candy's tophat | 1 |
| #334 | Bling of the New Wave | 4 |
| 🥇 | Bloodbath | 1 |
| #269 | Blue Diamond of Honesty | 2 |
| 🥇 | Bodacious MechaElf Hunter Saga:Relay Wolf | 1 |
| #798 | Bonerdagon necklace | 13 |
| 🥇 | Book of Old-Timey Carols | 1 |
| #260 | Boss Bat bling | 13 |
| #1169 | Boss Bat britches | 10 |
| #17 | Breathetastic™ Premium Canned Air | 50 |
| #5 | Brogre brolo shirt | 1 |
| #4 | Brogre brorts | 1 |
| #4 | Brogre bucket hat | 1 |
| 🥈 | C.B.F.G. | 1 |
| #183 | C.H.U.M. lantern | 1 |
| #36 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 1) (used) | 1 |
| #1013 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 2) | 1 |
| #33 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 2) (used) | 1 |
| #1054 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 3) | 1 |
| #35 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 3) (used) | 1 |
| #245 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 4) | 3 |
| #32 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 4) (used) | 1 |
| #476 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 5) | 2 |
| #32 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 5) (used) | 1 |
| #250 | CRIMBCO lanyard | 2 |
| #1444 | CRIMBCO scrip | 13 |
| #6 | Celsius 233 (singed) | 1 |
| #61 | Chalice of the Malkovich Prince | 1 |
| #117 | Chester's Aquarius medallion | 1 |
| #179 | Chester's bag of candy | 1 |
| #174 | Chester's cutoffs | 1 |
| #184 | Chester's moustache | 1 |
| #81 | Chester's muscle shirt | 1 |
| #162 | Claw of the Infernal Seal | 6 |
| #222 | Cloaca-Cola knapsack | 13 |
| #42 | Cocktails of the Age of Sail | 2 |
| 🥉 | Cocktails of the Age of Sail (used) | 1 |
| #608 | Codpiece of the Goblin King | 13 |
| #78 | Coily™ | 1 |
| #525 | Colander of Em-er'il | 5 |
| 🥇 | Comprehensive Cartographic Compendium (well-read) | 1 |
| #882 | Copper Alpha of Sincerity | 2 |
| #26 | Covers-Your-Head | 1 |
| #42 | Crimbo Carol tattoo kit | 1 |
| #45 | Crimbo Cheer tattoo kit | 1 |
| #44 | Crimbo Commerce tattoo kit | 1 |
| #337 | Crimbo Credit | 13 |
| 🥈 | Crimbo smile | 1 |
| #81 | Crimbo tattoo kit | 1 |
| #17 | Crimbo training manual | 1 |
| #6 | Crimbomination Contraption | 1 |
| #4 | Crimbot ROM: Mathematical Precision (dirty) | 1 |
| #43 | Crimbow Rainbo | 1 |
| #11 | Crimbuccaneer bombjacket | 5 |
| #17 | Crimbuccaneer breeches | 10 |
| #13 | Crimbuccaneer fledges (disintegrating) | 4 |
| #40 | Crimbuccaneer fledges (mint) | 5 |
| 🥇 | Crimbuccaneer flotsam | 32,471 |
| #5 | Crimbuccaneer lantern | 10 |
| #8 | Crimbuccaneer nose ring | 10 |
| #10 | Crimbuccaneer premium booty sack | 15 |
| #9 | Crimbuccaneer rigging lasso | 98 |
| #12 | Crimbuccaneer runebone | 5 |
| #27 | Crimbuccaneer shirt | 20 |
| #10 | Crimbuccaneer squirtblunderbuss | 10 |
| #5 | Crimbuccaneer tattoo gift certificate | 20 |
| #11 | Crimbuccaneer tavern swab | 3 |
| #13 | Crimbuccaneer tricorn | 11 |
| 🥇 | Crimbuccaneer war standard | 1 |
| #60 | Crimbuccaneer whale oil | 10 |
| #3209 | Crimbuck | 1 |
| #79 | Dark Jill-of-All-Trades | 1 |
| #12 | Dinsey's brain | 1 |
| #14 | Dinsey's glove | 1 |
| #14 | Dinsey's oculus | 1 |
| #14 | Dinsey's pants | 1 |
| #9 | Dinsey's pizza cutter | 1 |
| #12 | Dinsey's radar dish | 1 |
| #858 | Disco 'Fro Pick | 4 |
| #190 | Discount Telescope Warehouse gift certificate | 1 |
| 🥉 | Doc Clock's thyme cocktail | 200 |
| #17 | Drapes-You-Regally | 1 |
| #1042 | Drowsy Sword | 13 |
| #23 | Drunkula's cape | 1 |
| #26 | Drunkula's silky pants | 1 |
| #244 | El Sombrero De Lopez | 9 |
| #42 | El Vibrato energy spear | 1 |
| #45 | El Vibrato helmet | 1 |
| #31 | El Vibrato leg guards | 1 |
| #697 | Elder Turtle Shell | 4 |
| #49 | Elf Guard Field Manual: Culinary Arts | 2 |
| 🥈 | Elf Guard Field Manual: Culinary Arts (used) | 1 |
| #63 | Elf Guard Field Manual: Extortion | 2 |
| 🥈 | Elf Guard Field Manual: Extortion (used) | 1 |
| #42 | Elf Guard Field Manual: Wilderness Sleeping | 2 |
| 🥉 | Elf Guard Field Manual: Wilderness Sleeping (used) | 1 |
| #189 | Elf Guard MPC | 302 |
| #8 | Elf Guard SCUBA tank | 5 |
| #41 | Elf Guard broom | 1 |
| #9 | Elf Guard clipboard | 5 |
| #16 | Elf Guard fuel tank | 5 |
| #30 | Elf Guard honor present | 10 |
| #31 | Elf Guard hotpants | 5 |
| #22 | Elf Guard insignia (general) | 5 |
| #63 | Elf Guard insignia (private) | 2 |
| #31 | Elf Guard patrol cap | 5 |
| #15 | Elf Guard safety bear | 8 |
| #8 | Elf Guard temporary (permanent) tattoo | 10 |
| 🥇 | Elf Guard war standard | 1 |
| #16 | Ellsbury's journal (used) | 1 |
| #760 | FDKOL commendation | 13 |
| #83 | Frosty's arm | 1 |
| #211 | Frosty's carrot | 1 |
| #195 | Frosty's nailbat | 1 |
| #215 | Frosty's old silk hat | 1 |
| #120 | Frosty's snowball sack | 1 |
| 🥈 | Fuzzby | 1 |
| #285 | Galapagosian Cuisses | 4 |
| #290 | Garter of the Turtle Poacher | 4 |
| #171 | Glass Balls of the Goblin King | 13 |
| #9 | Gratitude chocolate (octopus-filled) | 1 |
| #204 | Gravyskin Belt of the Sauceblob | 5 |
| #28 | Great Wolf's headband | 1 |
| #27 | Great Wolf's left paw | 1 |
| #22 | Great Wolf's right paw | 1 |
| #5 | Great Wolf's rocket launcher | 1 |
| #132 | Green Clover of Justice | 13 |
| #283 | Haunted Sorority House staff guide | 13 |
| #425 | Heimandatz's heart | 4 |
| #91 | Hjodor's Guide to Arctic Dalmatians | 1 |
| #87 | Hodgman's almanac | 1 |
| #118 | Hodgman's bow tie | 1 |
| #81 | Hodgman's cane | 1 |
| #95 | Hodgman's harmonica | 1 |
| #130 | Hodgman's lobsterskin pants | 1 |
| #65 | Hodgman's lucky sock | 1 |
| #64 | Hodgman's metal detector | 1 |
| #144 | Hodgman's porkpie hat | 1 |
| #98 | Hodgman's varcolac paw | 1 |
| #21 | Inigo's Incantation of Inspiration (crumpled) | 1 |
| #585 | Iron Beta of Industry | 11 |
| #620 | Jocko Homo's head | 3 |
| #836 | Kissin' Cousins | 1 |
| #161 | Krakrox's Loincloth | 6 |
| #61 | LOLmec statuette | 1 |
| 🥇 | LWA ring | 1 |
| #216 | La Hebilla del Cinturón de Lopez | 6 |
| #27 | Lead Zeta of Chastity | 4 |
| #216 | Lederhosen of the Night | 6 |
| #8 | Lil' Snowball Factory | 23 |
| 🥇 | Lord Flameface's cloak | 1 |
| #1570 | Lord Spookyraven's ear trumpet | 13 |
| #24 | Love Potions and the Wizards who Mix Them | 1 |
| #849 | Maxing, Relaxing | 1 |
| #60 | Medallion of the Ventrilo Prince | 1 |
| #9 | Merc Core Field Manual: Intimidation Techniques | 1 |
| #5 | Mr. Burnsger | 105 |
| #70 | Mr. Cheeng's spectacles | 2 |
| #167 | My First Art of War | 1 |
| #19 | My First Paycheck envelope | 3 |
| #16 | My Life of Crime, a Memoir | 1 |
| #214 | Newman's Own Trousers | 5 |
| #447 | Nickel Gamma of Frugality | 13 |
| #15 | No Hats as Art | 1 |
| #215 | Ol' Scratch's ash can | 1 |
| #127 | Ol' Scratch's infernal pitchfork | 1 |
| #101 | Ol' Scratch's manacles | 1 |
| #197 | Ol' Scratch's ol' britches | 1 |
| #93 | Ol' Scratch's stove door | 1 |
| #187 | Ol' Scratch's stovepipe hat | 1 |
| #217 | Orange Star of Sacrifice | 10 |
| #525 | Order of the Silver Wossname | 1 |
| #187 | Oscus's dumpster waders | 1 |
| #100 | Oscus's flypaper pants | 1 |
| #195 | Oscus's pelt | 1 |
| 🥇 | PARTY HARD T-shirt | 1 |
| #1226 | Pan-Dimensional Gargle Blaster | 4 |
| #81 | Pocket Guide to Mild Evil | 1 |
| 🥈 | Pocket Guide to Mild Evil (used) | 1 |
| 🥇 | Pocket Meteor Guide (well-thumbed) | 1 |
| #16 | Pop Art: a Guide | 1 |
| #233 | Purple Horseshoe of Honor | 1 |
| #66 | Ralph IX cognac | 3 |
| #50 | S.I.T. Course Voucher | 1 |
| #14 | SMOOCH bracers | 1 |
| #13 | SMOOCH breastplate | 1 |
| #11 | SMOOCH codpiece | 1 |
| #11 | SMOOCH kneepads | 1 |
| #9 | SMOOCH spaulders | 1 |
| #118 | Saccharine Maple pendant | 1 |
| #388 | Safari Jack's moustache | 4 |
| 🥇 | SalesCo sample kit | 1 |
| #420 | Scalp of Gorgolok | 7 |
| #50 | Sceptre of the Torremolinos Prince | 1 |
| #7 | Spelunker of Fortune (used) | 1 |
| 🥇 | Spelunker's fedora | 1 |
| 🥇 | Spelunker's khakis | 1 |
| 🥇 | Spelunker's whip | 1 |
| 🥇 | SpinMaster™ lathe | 1 |
| #642 | Steal This Candy | 1 |
| #63 | Sword of the Brouhaha Prince | 1 |
| #4 | Tales of Dread | 1 |
| #68 | Tales of a Kansas Toymaker (used) | 1 |
| #21 | The Art of Slapfighting (used) | 1 |
| #5 | The Big Book of Communism (used) | 1 |
| #66 | The Emperor's new hat | 1 |
| #64 | The Emperor's new pants | 1 |
| #81 | The Emperor's new shirt | 1 |
| #34 | The Encyclopedia of Fruit | 3 |
| 🥉 | The Encyclopedia of Fruit (used) | 1 |
| #44 | The Gingerbread Vigilante's Handbook | 1 |
| #85 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 1 | 1 |
| #4 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 1 (used) | 1 |
| #80 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 2 | 1 |
| #4 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 2 (used) | 1 |
| #76 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 3 | 1 |
| #5 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 3 (used) | 1 |
| #67 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 4 | 1 |
| #8 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 4 (used) | 1 |
| #81 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 5 | 1 |
| #7 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 5 (used) | 1 |
| #76 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 6 | 1 |
| #4 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 6 (used) | 1 |
| #5 | The Joy of Wassailing (used) | 2 |
| #72 | The Landscaper's leafblower | 1 |
| #247 | The Mariachi's guitar case | 7 |
| #57 | The Necbronomicon (used) | 1 |
| #4 | The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 1 (used) | 1 |
| 🥈 | The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 2 (used) | 1 |
| 🥇 | The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 3 (used) | 1 |
| 🥈 | The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 4 (used) | 1 |
| 🥇 | The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 5 (used) | 1 |
| #4 | The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 6 (used) | 1 |
| #9 | The Nose Knows, A Guide to Smells (read) | 1 |
| 🥈 | The Sagittarian's leisure pants | 1 |
| #102 | The Snitch's Manifesto | 1 |
| 🥈 | The Spirit of Crimbo | 1 |
| #62 | The Superconductor's CPU | 1 |
| #98 | The Thorax's Codex of Tormenting Plants | 1 |
| #11 | Three Mile Island shorts | 1 |
| #25 | Thunkula's drinking cap | 1 |
| #1202 | Thwaitgold Goliath beetle statuette | 2 |
| #18 | Thwaitgold Illinigina illinoiensis model | 2 |
| #494 | Thwaitgold amoeba statuette | 1 |
| #1053 | Thwaitgold bee statuette | 2 |
| #42 | Thwaitgold bookworm statuette | 10 |
| #970 | Thwaitgold caterpillar statuette | 1 |
| #1400 | Thwaitgold dragonfly statuette | 1 |
| #1722 | Thwaitgold firefly statuette | 1 |
| #1376 | Thwaitgold grasshopper statuette | 2 |
| #1050 | Thwaitgold maggot statuette | 4 |
| #114 | Thwaitgold metabug statuette | 5 |
| #318 | Thwaitgold slug statuette | 13 |
| #113 | Thwaitgold splendor beetle statuette | 6 |
| #1477 | Thwaitgold stag beetle statuette | 5 |
| #673 | Thwaitgold termite statuette | 7 |
| #1150 | Thwaitgold woollybear statuette | 1 |
| #28 | Trout Fishing in Loathing | 1 |
| 🥇 | Twelve Night Energy | 500 |
| #26 | Ultra Mega Sour Ball | 2 |
| #29 | Uncle Hobo's fingerless tinsel gloves | 1 |
| #26 | Uncle Hobo's gift baggy pants | 1 |
| #59 | Uncle Hobo's highest bough | 1 |
| #699 | Uncle Romulus | 1 |
| #20 | Unkillable Skeleton's breastplate | 1 |
| #23 | Unkillable Skeleton's shinguards | 1 |
| #30 | Unkillable Skeleton's skullcap | 1 |
| #248 | Uranium Omega of Temperance | 1 |
| #334 | Volartta's bellbottoms | 4 |
| #43 | Volcoino | 13 |
| #5 | Wal-Mart nametag | 1 |
| #203 | Wand of Oscus | 1 |
| #17 | Warms-Your-Tush | 1 |
| #6 | Western Slang Vol. 1: Violence | 1 |
| #5 | Western Slang Vol. 2: Cooking | 1 |
| #6 | Western Slang Vol. 3: Fraud | 1 |
| #69 | Xiblaxian 5D printer | 1 |
| #49 | Xiblaxian holo-wrist-puter | 1 |
| #12 | Xiblaxian stealth cowl | 1 |
| #12 | Xiblaxian stealth trousers | 1 |
| #12 | Xiblaxian stealth vest | 1 |
| #316 | Yakisoba's hat | 5 |
| #230 | Yellow Moon of Compassion | 13 |
| #178 | Zinc Delta of Tranquility | 7 |
| #182 | Zombo's grievous greaves | 1 |
| #188 | Zombo's shield | 1 |
| #105 | Zombo's shoulder blade | 1 |
| #85 | Zombo's skull ring | 1 |
| #192 | Zombo's skullcap | 1 |
| #917 | Zu Mannkäse Dienen | 1 |
| #541 | adorable seal larva | 5 |
| #138 | aerated diving helmet | 1 |
| #16 | alien plant fibers | 13 |
| #31 | alien rock sample | 13 |
| #14 | alien source code printout (used) | 1 |
| #16 | alien toenails | 13 |
| #5 | ancient Elf dessert spoon | 7 |
| #124 | antique painting of a landscape | 7 |
| #140 | antique pair of blue jeans | 6 |
| #118 | antique record album | 25 |
| 🥈 | antique spyglass | 20 |
| 🥉 | antique tacklebox | 6 |
| #49 | asteroid belt | 1 |
| #57 | baby chest mimic | 2 |
| #24 | baby rigging snake | 4 |
| #3277 | badass belt | 13 |
| #72 | bark beret | 1 |
| #70 | bark boxers | 1 |
| #91 | bark bracelet | 1 |
| #113 | batskin belt | 13 |
| #27 | battered old top-hat | 1 |
| #72 | bauxite beret | 1 |
| #65 | bauxite bow-tie | 1 |
| #69 | bauxite boxers | 1 |
| #30 | beer basted brat | 13 |
| #45 | bewitching boots | 1 |
| #8 | biker's hat | 1 |
| #702 | bindlestocking | 1 |
| 🥈 | biomechanical crimborg helmet | 1 |
| 🥈 | biomechanical crimborg leg armor | 1 |
| #138 | blank diary | 1 |
| #40 | blank fudge mold | 14 |
| 🥇 | blood-drive sticker | 400 |
| #624 | bone chips | 13 |
| #101 | book of facts | 1 |
| 🥇 | book of facts (dog-eared) | 1 |
| #12 | bowl of petunias | 1 |
| #4115 | box of sunshine | 13 |
| #44 | boxed Apriling band helmet | 2 |
| #37 | boxed Mayam Calendar | 3 |
| #79 | boxed august scepter | 1 |
| #89 | charged magnet | 1 |
| #25 | chocolate puppy | 1 |
| #9 | clingfilm cap | 2 |
| #11 | clingfilm slippers | 2 |
| #35 | clingfilm tangle | 2 |
| #11 | clingfilm trousers | 2 |
| #36 | closed-circuit phone system | 2 |
| 🥉 | control crystal | 1 |
| 🥇 | cool iron breastplate | 1 |
| 🥈 | cool iron greaves | 1 |
| 🥉 | cool iron helmet | 1 |
| #112 | crotchety pants | 1 |
| #26 | crumpled felt fedora | 1 |
| #223 | crusty hula hoop | 1 |
| 🥇 | cuppa Sobrie tea | 200 |
| #36 | cursed breeches | 1 |
| #64 | cursed cutlass | 1 |
| #41 | cursed eyepatch | 1 |
| #37 | deed to Oliver's Place | 2 |
| #50 | deluxe fax machine | 5 |
| #226 | depleted uranium seal figurine | 3 |
| #78 | double-ice box | 1 |
| #103 | double-ice britches | 1 |
| #170 | double-ice cap | 1 |
| #1242 | duct tape | 13 |
| #22 | duct tape buckler | 3 |
| #34 | duct tape dockers | 3 |
| #21 | duct tape fedora | 3 |
| #41 | duct tape shirt | 3 |
| #41 | duct tape sword | 3 |
| #204 | duct tape wallet | 3 |
| #87 | dusty animal skull | 1 |
| #5140 | easter egg balloon | 1 |
| 🥈 | eerily silent box | 1 |
| #10 | electrician's hardhat | 1 |
| #1114 | enchanted leopard-print barbell | 4 |
| #63 | ert grey goo ring | 13 |
| #6 | essential tofu | 300 |
| 🥇 | extra time | 100 |
| #13 | extra-greasy slider | 500 |
| #14 | fancy black tie | 1 |
| #10 | fancy chess set | 1 |
| 🥈 | fancy chocolate | 500 |
| 🥈 | fancy chocolate sculpture | 500 |
| 🥇 | fancy party pants | 1 |
| #14 | fancy tophat | 1 |
| #16 | fancy tuxedo pants | 1 |
| #16 | fat stacks of cash | 12,155 |
| #11 | feathered headdress | 1 |
| #251 | figurine of a charred seal | 13 |
| #182 | figurine of a sleek seal | 13 |
| #97 | figurine of a wretched-looking seal | 13 |
| #6 | flaming leaf crown | 3 |
| #101 | fleshy putty | 13 |
| #6 | foam commodore's hat | 1 |
| #11 | foam naval trousers | 1 |
| #20 | foot-long hot daub | 1 |
| 🥈 | fossilized necklace | 1 |
| #500 | friendly cheez blob | 5 |
| 🥉 | fudge spork | 300 |
| #245 | fuzzy busby | 13 |
| #218 | fuzzy earmuffs | 13 |
| #208 | fuzzy montera | 13 |
| #20 | garbage sticker | 1 |
| #323 | gearbox necklace | 3 |
| #272 | ghost of a necklace | 13 |
| #427 | gift-a-pult | 1 |
| #31 | gingerbread gavel | 3 |
| #9 | gingerbread moneybag | 1 |
| #10 | gingerbread tophat | 1 |
| #16 | gingerbread trousers | 1 |
| #14 | gingerbread waistcoat | 1 |
| #390 | gold wedding ring | 13 |
| 🥇 | goo magnet | 1 |
| 🥈 | googly-ball hat | 13 |
| #74 | government requisition form | 13 |
| 🥇 | government-issued eyeshade | 1 |
| 🥇 | government-issued necktie | 1 |
| 🥇 | government-issued slacks | 1 |
| #15 | grubby wool beerwarmer | 1 |
| #10 | grubby wool gloves | 1 |
| #10 | grubby wool hat | 1 |
| #8 | grubby wool scarf | 1 |
| #10 | grubby wool trousers | 1 |
| #4 | grubby woolball | 13 |
| #4471 | grue egg | 2 |
| #8 | gunwale whalegun | 1 |
| #62 | hand-carved bokken | 2 |
| #45 | hand-carved bow | 1 |
| #37 | hand-carved staff | 2 |
| #2283 | handful of confetti | 13 |
| 🥇 | hazardous sauce dosimeter | 1 |
| #12 | hazmat helmet | 1 |
| #30 | head-mounted Trainbot | 1 |
| #520 | heart of the volcano | 13 |
| #60 | helm of the white knight | 1 |
| #51 | high-temperature mining drill | 1 |
| #19 | hobo dungarees | 1 |
| #27 | hobo stogie | 1 |
| #11 | honey dipper | 1 |
| #8 | honeybritches | 1 |
| #19 | honeycap | 1 |
| #18 | hot daub bun | 1 |
| #16 | hot daub stand | 1 |
| #71 | in-the-box spring shoes | 1 |
| #11 | isotophat | 1 |
| #14 | jar of fermented pickle juice | 500 |
| #213 | jewelry-making pliers | 2 |
| #41 | jingle bell | 1 |
| #8 | karma shawarma | 300 |
| #31 | labrador cookie | 3 |
| #29 | leg-mounted Trainbots | 1 |
| #5 | lupine appetite hormones | 250 |
| #587 | macaroni duck | 4 |
| #83 | magical pony: Dusk Shiny | 50 |
| #42 | meteorb | 1 |
| #58 | meteortarboard | 1 |
| #81 | meteorthopedic shoes | 1 |
| #24 | milk of magnesium | 500 |
| #78 | miming beret | 1 |
| #84 | miming boots | 1 |
| #100 | miming corduroys | 1 |
| #93 | miming gloves | 1 |
| #95 | miming shirt | 1 |
| #22 | mini kiwi egg | 2 |
| #6 | miniature deck cannon | 1 |
| #36 | molten medallion | 1 |
| #20 | mostly rat-hide leggings | 1 |
| #9 | munchies pill | 250 |
| #41 | mutant arm | 3 |
| #33 | mutant cactus bud | 1 |
| #10 | mutant crown | 1 |
| #7 | mutant legs | 2 |
| #356 | mysterious silver lapel pin | 3 |
| #10 | not-a-pipe | 500 |
| #52 | odor extractor | 3 |
| #31 | old patched suit-pants | 1 |
| #255 | old school flying disc | 1 |
| #28 | old soft shoes | 1 |
| #27 | ornamental sextant | 1 |
| #67 | packaged Everfull Dart Holster | 1 |
| #105 | paperclip cape | 1 |
| #100 | paperclip pants | 1 |
| #92 | paperclip turban | 1 |
| #102 | paperclip-on tie | 1 |
| 🥇 | papier-mâchéte | 13 |
| #17 | papier-mâchine gun | 1 |
| #12 | papier-mâchuridars | 1 |
| #15 | papier-masque | 1 |
| #14 | papier-mitre | 1 |
| #7 | paraffin palazzos | 1 |
| #363 | parasitic claw | 1 |
| #229 | parasitic headgnawer | 1 |
| #233 | parasitic strangleworm | 1 |
| #190 | parasitic tentacles | 1 |
| #666 | peanut brittle shield | 1 |
| #4 | pet anchor | 50 |
| #48 | picture of you | 1 |
| #293 | pig-iron bracers | 1 |
| #307 | pig-iron helm | 1 |
| #281 | pig-iron shinguards | 1 |
| #12 | pirate encryption key (complete) | 5 |
| #26 | pixel rock | 1 |
| #34 | plush hamsterpus | 1 |
| #491 | pork elf goodies sack | 13 |
| 🥇 | portable housekeeping robot | 30 |
| #4 | portable photocopier | 1,000 |
| #9 | pumpkin | 500 |
| #6 | pumpkin beer | 500 |
| #28 | quantum disintegrator pistol | 1 |
| #504 | really dense meat stack | 13 |
| 🥈 | record of infuriating silence (used) | 1 |
| 🥉 | record of menacing silence (used) | 1 |
| 🥈 | record of tranquil silence (used) | 1 |
| #231 | red wagon | 1 |
| #5 | replica Elf Guard medal | 5 |
| #113 | rib of the Bonerdagon | 13 |
| #25 | rope with some soap on it | 1 |
| 🥉 | rubber baby doll | 1 |
| #402 | rusty chain necklace | 6 |
| #212 | sack lunch | 13 |
| #1173 | sandwich of the gods | 5 |
| #397 | sawblade shield | 7 |
| #43 | sawed-off blunderbuss | 6 |
| #478 | seal-blubber candle | 1 |
| #65 | sealhide belt | 1 |
| #76 | sealhide buckler | 1 |
| #68 | sealhide gloves | 1 |
| #74 | sealhide hood | 1 |
| #63 | sealhide leggings | 1 |
| #68 | sealhide moccasins | 1 |
| #126 | secret from the future | 1 |
| #17 | shaking skull | 1 |
| #31 | shapeless wide-brimmed hat | 1 |
| #48 | shooting morning star | 1 |
| #32 | shoulder-mounted Trainbot | 1 |
| #86 | skeleton | 13 |
| #127 | skull of the Bonerdagon | 13 |
| #43 | sleeping patriotic eagle | 2 |
| #7 | slime fedora | 1 |
| #8 | slime knuckles | 1 |
| #8 | slime waders | 1 |
| #15 | smooth velvet hanky | 1 |
| #16 | smooth velvet pants | 1 |
| #16 | smooth velvet pocket square | 1 |
| #15 | smooth velvet socks | 1 |
| #44 | snake skin | 13 |
| #9 | snakeskin cowboy hat | 1 |
| #6 | snakeskin jacket | 1 |
| #5 | snakeskin thighboots | 1 |
| 🥉 | snow belly | 1 |
| #10 | snow hat | 1 |
| 🥉 | snow pants | 1 |
| #996 | solid gold bowling ball | 13 |
| #118 | solid gold jewel | 3 |
| 🥈 | soul monocle | 1 |
| #15 | space beast fur hat | 1 |
| #15 | space beast fur pants | 1 |
| #20 | space beast fur whip | 1 |
| #14 | spant backplate | 1 |
| #11 | spant shield | 1 |
| #12 | spant shoulderpads | 1 |
| #12 | spant spear | 4 |
| #14 | spants | 1 |
| 🥈 | spice melange | 400 |
| 🥈 | spinal-fluid-covered emotion chip | 1 |
| #542 | squirming egg sac | 13 |
| #13 | stinky fannypack | 1 |
| #58 | stolen meatpouch | 13 |
| #443 | stray chihuahua | 6 |
| #408 | stuffed Hodgman | 1 |
| #1465 | stuffed can of asparagus | 1 |
| #27 | stuffed kraken | 7 |
| #776 | stuffed zmobie | 1 |
| #269 | sucker bucket | 1 |
| #257 | sucker hakama | 1 |
| 🥇 | sweet tooth | 500 |
| #4 | the Crymbich Manuscript (used) | 1 |
| #296 | throbbing rage gland | 1 |
| #527 | tiny plastic Orcish Frat Boy | 13 |
| #326 | tiny plastic The Big Wisniewski | 13 |
| #321 | tiny plastic The Man | 13 |
| #538 | tiny plastic filthy hippy jewelry maker | 13 |
| #32 | topeé | 1 |
| #23 | topiary necktie | 1 |
| #35 | topiary tights | 1 |
| #13 | toxic mop | 1 |
| 🥇 | train whistle | 1 |
| #38 | training scroll: Snokebomb | 1 |
| #53 | trousers of the white knight | 1 |
| #40 | unoccupied sheep suit | 1 |
| #6 | unremarkable duffel bag | 1,576 |
| #712 | untamable turtle | 3 |
| #860 | unusual disco ball | 3 |
| #7 | van key | 1,695 |
| #1144 | vertebra of the Bonerdagon | 4 |
| 🥇 | wand of fudge control | 1 |
| #264 | wand of pigification | 1 |
| #5 | warbear electric warscarf | 1 |
| #20 | warbear empathy chip (used) | 1 |
| #4 | warbear fleece-lined long johns | 1 |
| 🥈 | warbear hoverbelt | 1 |
| #45 | warbear metalworking primer (used) | 1 |
| #7 | warbear plain ushanka | 1 |
| #12 | warbear warscarf | 1 |
| #177 | water-polo cap | 1 |
| #26 | wax hat | 1 |
| #10 | wax pants | 2 |
| #17 | weedy skirt | 1 |
| #91 | willowy bonnet | 1 |
| #50 | wrapped candy cane sword cane | 2 |
| #421 | wrench bracelet | 7 |
| #79 | wristwatch of the white knight | 1 |
| #14 | wumpus-hair net | 1 |
| 🥇 | yield shield | 1 |
| #18 | zombie accordion | 1 |
| #17 | zombie mariachi hat | 1 |
| #28 | zombie mariachi pants | 1 |