| #18 | 17-ball | 1 |
| #13 | 4-dimensional fez | 23 |
| #8 | A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 2 (used) | 1 |
| #9 | A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 3 (used) | 1 |
| #10 | A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 5 (used) | 1 |
| #221 | A. W. O. L. commendation | 29 |
| š„ | All-Hallow's Steve's fright wig | 1 |
| #94 | Amoon-Ra Cowtep's nemes | 1 |
| #2232 | Ancient Saucehelm | 1 |
| #339 | BGE merchandise order form | 12 |
| #186 | Beach Buck | 1 |
| #563 | Biddy Cracker's Old-Fashioned Cookbook | 2 |
| š„ | Big Candy's tophat | 1 |
| #815 | Blizzards I Have Died In | 1 |
| š„ | Bodacious MechaElf Hunter Saga:Relay Wolf | 1 |
| #26 | Bruno's blessing of Mars | 21 |
| #19 | Build-a-City Gingerbread kit | 1 |
| #25 | Burt's blessing of Bacchus | 32 |
| #164 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 2) | 4 |
| #35 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 2) (used) | 1 |
| #36 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 3) (used) | 1 |
| #148 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 4) | 4 |
| #34 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 4) (used) | 1 |
| #1010 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 5) | 1 |
| #530 | CRIMBCO lanyard | 1 |
| #1162 | CRIMBCO scrip | 35 |
| #51 | ChibiBuddyā¢ (off) | 1 |
| #103 | Clan VIP Lounge invitation | 1 |
| #9 | Counterclockwise Watch | 1 |
| #15 | Crimbo sapling | 1 |
| #6 | Crimbomination Contraption | 1 |
| #5 | Crimbot ROM: Mathematical Precision (dirty) | 1 |
| š„ | Crimbot ROM: Rapid Prototyping (dirty) | 1 |
| #4 | Crimbot ROM: Ruthless Efficiency (dirty) | 1 |
| #102 | Daisy's unclean bloomers | 1 |
| #26 | Dallas Dynasty Falcon Crest shield | 1 |
| #28 | Dennis's blessing of Minerva | 21 |
| #28 | Drunkula's silky pants | 1 |
| #1789 | El Sombrero De Lopez | 1 |
| #17 | Ellsbury's journal (used) | 1 |
| #39 | En Una Fila Tequila | 2 |
| #253 | FDKOL commendation | 2,181 |
| #13 | Field Guide to Skeletal Anatomy (shredded) | 1 |
| #75 | Former Sheriff Dan's tin star | 1 |
| #63 | Frown Exerciser | 1 |
| š„ | Fuzzby | 1 |
| #107 | Granny Hackleton's Gatling gun | 1 |
| #725 | Gravyskin Belt of the Sauceblob | 1 |
| š„ | Hjodor's Guide to Arctic Dalmatians (used) | 1 |
| #119 | Hodgman's bow tie | 1 |
| #8 | Hodgman's disgusting technicolor overcoat | 1 |
| #73 | Hodgman's garbage sticker | 1 |
| #95 | Hodgman's harmonica | 1 |
| #129 | Hodgman's lobsterskin pants | 1 |
| #66 | Hodgman's metal detector | 1 |
| #146 | Hodgman's porkpie hat | 1 |
| #97 | Hodgman's varcolac paw | 1 |
| #24 | Hodgman's whackin' stick | 1 |
| #19 | Huggler Radio | 1 |
| #23 | Inigo's Incantation of Inspiration (crumpled) | 1 |
| š„ | Jackass Plumber home game | 1 |
| #17 | Jarlsberg's pan | 1 |
| #59 | Juju Mojo Mask | 1 |
| #178 | KoL Con 13 T-shirt | 1 |
| š„ | Krampus Horn | 1 |
| #815 | La Hebilla del CinturĆ³n de Lopez | 1 |
| #778 | Lederhosen of the Night | 1 |
| #1061 | Let Me Be! | 1 |
| #29 | Little Geneticist DNA-Splicing Lab | 1 |
| š„ | Lord Flameface's cloak | 1 |
| #44 | Mayo de Mayoā¢ mayo | 5 |
| #139 | NPZR chemistry set | 41 |
| #726 | Newman's Own Trousers | 1 |
| š„ | Official Council Aide Pin | 1 |
| #524 | Order of the Silver Wossname | 1 |
| #187 | Oscus's dumpster waders | 1 |
| #5 | Otorian Battle Scar | 1 |
| #253 | Pan-Dimensional Gargle Blaster | 14 |
| #26 | Pantsgiving | 1 |
| š„ | Peppermint Pip Packet | 1 |
| š„ | Pocket Meteor Guide (well-thumbed) | 1 |
| #84 | Purple Beast energy drink | 1 |
| #31 | Purple Horseshoe of Honor | 5 |
| #28 | Racisto Ruidoso | 11 |
| #153 | Roman sadnals | 1 |
| #118 | Saccharine Maple pendant | 1 |
| #7 | Science Notebook | 2 |
| #217 | Shore Inc. Ship Trip Scrip | 1 |
| š„ | Skipper's accordion | 1 |
| #57 | Skully's hot chocolate | 2 |
| š„ | Stabonic scroll | 1 |
| #93 | Staff of the Black Kettle | 1 |
| #107 | Stephen's lab coat | 1 |
| #123 | Strix stix | 20 |
| #153 | Super Crimboman Ultra Mega Hypersword | 1 |
| š„ | Sword of Procedural Generation | 1 |
| #146 | Taco Dan's Taco Stand Flier | 2 |
| #592 | Tales from the Fireside | 2 |
| #71 | Tales of a Kansas Toymaker (used) | 1 |
| š„ | Tales of the Word Realms | 3 |
| #598 | The Art of Slapfighting | 1 |
| #5 | The Big Book of Communism (used) | 1 |
| š„ | The Crown of Ed the Undying | 1 |
| #68 | The Emperor's new hat | 1 |
| #42 | The Emperor's new shirt | 2 |
| #633 | The Joy of Wassailing | 4 |
| #44 | The Legendary Beat | 1 |
| #33 | The Necbromancer's Hat | 1 |
| #28 | The Necbromancer's Shorts | 1 |
| #38 | The Necbromancer's Stein | 1 |
| #14 | The Necbromancer's Wizard Staff | 1 |
| #51 | The Necbronomicon | 4 |
| #59 | The Necbronomicon (used) | 1 |
| š„ | The Sagittarian's leisure pants | 1 |
| #18 | Thor's Pliers | 1 |
| #1568 | Thwaitgold Goliath beetle statuette | 1 |
| #104 | Thwaitgold ant statuette | 8 |
| #497 | Thwaitgold bee statuette | 5 |
| #989 | Thwaitgold caterpillar statuette | 1 |
| #142 | Thwaitgold firefly statuette | 15 |
| #395 | Thwaitgold grasshopper statuette | 7 |
| #1440 | Thwaitgold maggot statuette | 2 |
| #34 | Thwaitgold nit statuette | 5 |
| #390 | Thwaitgold praying mantis statuette | 2 |
| #1304 | Thwaitgold scarab beetle statuette | 1 |
| #315 | Thwaitgold spider statuette | 10 |
| #1499 | Thwaitgold stag beetle statuette | 5 |
| #1153 | Thwaitgold woollybear statuette | 1 |
| #19 | Time Cloak | 1 |
| #39 | Time Lord Participation Mug | 1 |
| š„ | Time-Spinner | 1 |
| #938 | Travels with Jerry | 1 |
| š„ | Trivial Avocations board game | 1 |
| #189 | Tropical Crimbo Sword | 1 |
| #108 | Twelve Night Energy | 3 |
| #701 | Uncle Romulus | 1 |
| #1574 | adorable seal larva | 1 |
| #14 | alien source code printout (used) | 1 |
| š„ | all-year sucker | 1 |
| š„ | anniversary balsa wood socks | 1 |
| š„ | anniversary burlap belt | 1 |
| #227 | anniversary chutney sculpture | 1 |
| š„ | anniversary concrete fedora | 1 |
| š„ | anniversary safety glass vest | 1 |
| #545 | antique 8-Bit Power magazine | 2 |
| #457 | antique record album | 5 |
| #40 | banjo kazoo mount | 7 |
| #28 | battered old top-hat | 1 |
| #115 | beautiful rainbow | 3 |
| #152 | birdbone corset | 1 |
| #777 | black candy heart | 2 |
| #137 | blank diary | 1 |
| #76 | bone spurs | 1 |
| #61 | boneana hammock | 1 |
| #63 | bonedanna | 1 |
| #10 | bottle of Professor Beer | 48 |
| #129 | box of Gratitude chocolates | 1 |
| #73 | brainwave-controlled unicorn horn | 1 |
| #42 | brazen bracelet | 1 |
| #501 | breaded beer | 1 |
| š„ | bucket of anniversary lard | 1 |
| #26 | buffed alien drugs | 1 |
| #214 | can of V-11 | 2 |
| #1852 | candy knuckles | 1 |
| #14 | card sleeve | 1 |
| #78 | centurion helmet | 1 |
| #90 | charisma potion | 1 |
| #6 | choco-Crimbot | 1,000 |
| #21 | circle drum | 1 |
| #29 | crazy bastard sword | 1 |
| #113 | crotchety pants | 1 |
| #35 | cursed wishbone | 8 |
| #32 | dead guy's memento | 1 |
| #16 | defective Game Grid token | 1 |
| #52 | dense meat stack | 230,373 |
| #109 | diluted makeup | 1 |
| #91 | discarded swimming trunks | 1 |
| #47 | disco horoscope (Aquarius) | 30 |
| #83 | disco horoscope (Aries) | 16 |
| #70 | disco horoscope (Cancer) | 20 |
| #191 | disco horoscope (Gemini) | 4 |
| #261 | disco horoscope (Leo) | 1 |
| #141 | disco horoscope (Libra) | 9 |
| #130 | disco horoscope (Sagittarius) | 10 |
| #78 | disco horoscope (Scorpio) | 18 |
| #163 | disco horoscope (Taurus) | 6 |
| #57 | droppable microphone | 1 |
| #108 | duct tape shirt | 1 |
| š„ | eerily silent box | 1 |
| #4 | eldritch tincture (depleted) | 1 |
| #32 | elf ploughshare | 1 |
| #20 | elven tambourine | 1 |
| #202 | enchanted leopard-print barbell | 14 |
| š„ | experimental carbon fiber pasta additive | 1 |
| #289 | extra-see-thru nightie | 1 |
| #107 | extremely confusing manual | 1 |
| #81 | fireman's helmet | 1 |
| #80 | flask flops | 16 |
| #78 | forbidden sausage | 4 |
| š„ | fossilized necklace | 1 |
| #71 | freezer-burned frost-bitten tortellini | 7 |
| #1456 | friendly cheez blob | 1 |
| #4738 | fuzzy dice | 1 |
| #234 | gift-a-pult | 2 |
| #64 | gladiator tunica | 11 |
| #14 | googly-ball hat | 1 |
| #11 | googly-star hat | 1 |
| š„ | green face paint | 1 |
| #257 | gyroscope | 11 |
| š„ | hand of Mr. Cards | 1 |
| š„ | hazardous sauce dosimeter | 1 |
| š„ | heart of dark chocolate | 1 |
| #18 | hypnodisk | 1 |
| #22 | incredibly dense meat gem | 1 |
| #43 | jar of anniversary jam | 1 |
| #41 | jingle bell | 1 |
| #93 | kiwi beak | 13 |
| #149 | law-abiding citizen cane | 1 |
| #39 | leftover pasty | 1 |
| #935 | lewd playing card | 1 |
| #37 | liquid shifting time weirdness | 38 |
| #24 | little red book | 1 |
| #21 | lump of not really wriggling eldritch matter | 2 |
| #1430 | macaroni duck | 1 |
| #88 | madius | 4 |
| #25 | mafia wedding ring | 1 |
| #424 | magical pony: Dusk Shiny | 3 |
| #339 | magical pony: Pearjack | 4 |
| #512 | magical pony: Rosey Cake | 2 |
| #302 | magical pony: Shutterfly | 5 |
| #343 | magical pony: Uniquity | 4 |
| #160 | mime soul fragment | 22 |
| #49 | mirrored aviator shades | 1 |
| #32 | mutant cactus bud | 1 |
| #25 | nasty-smelling moss | 1 |
| #142 | non-aged vinegar | 12 |
| #31 | old patched suit-pants | 1 |
| #255 | old school flying disc | 1 |
| #28 | old soft shoes | 1 |
| #9 | optimal spreadsheet | 1 |
| š„ | packet of dragon's teeth | 1 |
| š„ | packet of pumpkin seeds | 1 |
| š„ | packet of winter seeds | 1 |
| #103 | paperclip cape | 1 |
| #99 | paperclip pants | 1 |
| #91 | paperclip turban | 1 |
| #101 | paperclip-on tie | 1 |
| #180 | phish stick | 6 |
| #12 | picky tweezers | 5 |
| #169 | pile of loose snow | 1 |
| #15 | plans for depleted Grimacite gravy boat | 1 |
| #14 | plans for depleted Grimacite ninja mask | 1 |
| #16 | plans for depleted Grimacite shinguards | 1 |
| #14 | plans for depleted Grimacite weightlifting belt | 1 |
| #32 | plate of Val-U Brand Every Bean Salad | 1 |
| #214 | plexiglass pants | 1 |
| #212 | plexiglass pendant | 1 |
| #329 | plexiglass pikestaff | 1 |
| #214 | plexiglass pinky ring | 1 |
| #289 | plexiglass pith helmet | 1 |
| #181 | plexiglass pocketwatch | 1 |
| #22 | porcelain porkpie | 1 |
| #11 | pottery club | 2 |
| #52 | pottery hat | 1 |
| #42 | pottery shield | 1 |
| #43 | pottery training pants | 1 |
| #63 | pottery yo-yo | 1 |
| #47 | propeller beanie | 1 |
| š„ | protonic accelerator pack | 1 |
| #73 | pteruges | 1 |
| #24 | purple clay bead | 227 |
| #25 | purple corpsel | 15 |
| #37 | purple pixel pie | 91 |
| #40 | purple prose pen | 14 |
| #103 | purple snowcone | 272 |
| #39 | purple-frosted astral cupcake | 90 |
| #36 | puzzling ribbon | 1 |
| #155 | quantum taco | 202 |
| #301 | radiation-resistant helmet | 1 |
| š„ | record of infuriating silence (used) | 1 |
| š„ | record of menacing silence (used) | 1 |
| š„ | record of tranquil silence (used) | 1 |
| š„ | red and green rain stick | 1 |
| š„ | red face paint | 1 |
| #28 | reindeer hammer | 1 |
| #25 | reindeer sickle | 1 |
| #98 | replica bat-oomerang | 1 |
| #45 | reusable shopping bag | 1 |
| #58 | ridiculous belt | 1 |
| #102 | ridiculous cocktail | 15 |
| #72 | ridiculous earring | 1 |
| #100 | ridiculous sandwich | 14 |
| #64 | ridiculous sunglasses | 1 |
| #109 | rocky road ice cream | 1 |
| #9 | round purple sunglasses | 1,176 |
| #8 | saffron antaravasaka | 1 |
| #6 | saffron uttarasanga | 1 |
| #141 | salt wages | 17 |
| #310 | sandwich of the gods | 14 |
| #168 | scotch on the rocks | 1 |
| š„ | seal medal | 1 |
| #299 | servo-assisted exo-pants | 1 |
| #124 | shark jumper | 1 |
| #52 | silent beret | 1 |
| š„ | silent nightlight | 1 |
| š„ | snow belly | 1 |
| #10 | snow hat | 1 |
| š„ | snow pants | 1 |
| #48 | solid shifting time weirdness | 2 |
| #342 | sorority brain | 2 |
| #21 | soul coin | 2 |
| #40 | soul doorbell | 10 |
| #32 | soul knife | 1 |
| #35 | soul mask | 1 |
| š„ | soul monocle | 1 |
| #15 | space beast fur hat | 1 |
| #15 | space beast fur pants | 1 |
| #20 | space beast fur whip | 1 |
| #23 | space heater | 1 |
| #39 | space invader | 1 |
| #26 | space needle | 1 |
| #123 | space port | 2 |
| š„ | spaghetti-box banjo | 1 |
| #106 | spandex anniversary shorts | 1 |
| š„ | speed limit shield | 1 |
| #1281 | stainless steel scarf | 2 |
| #2248 | stainless steel shillelagh | 1 |
| #2141 | stainless steel skullcap | 1 |
| #2248 | stainless steel slacks | 1 |
| #1863 | stainless steel solitaire | 1 |
| #1712 | stainless steel suspenders | 1 |
| #62 | stealth bomber | 1 |
| #235 | still-beating spleen | 1 |
| #4 | stinky cheese diaper | 1 |
| š„ | stop shield | 1 |
| #1007 | stray chihuahua | 2 |
| #21 | studded sealhide shield | 1 |
| #74 | super-absorbent tarp | 2 |
| #10 | super-sweet boom box | 1 |
| #183 | tangled mass of creepy pasta | 2 |
| #60 | temperance whiskey | 6 |
| #101 | tiny plastic Crimbomega | 1 |
| #101 | tiny plastic Crimbot | 1 |
| #111 | tiny plastic ambulatory robo-minecart | 1 |
| #102 | tiny plastic semi-autonomous drill unit | 1 |
| #563 | untamable turtle | 4 |
| #1548 | unusual disco ball | 1 |
| #900 | wad of cotton | 1 |
| š„ | wand of fudge control | 1 |
| #59 | warbear LP-ROM burner | 3 |
| š„ | warbear black box | 1 |
| #109 | warbear chemistry lab | 2 |
| #20 | warbear empathy chip (used) | 1 |
| #192 | warbear high-efficiency still | 1 |
| š„ | warbear hoverbelt | 1 |
| #168 | warbear induction oven | 1 |
| #179 | warbear jackhammer drill press | 1 |
| #44 | warbear metalworking primer (used) | 1 |
| š„ | washboard shield | 1 |
| #91 | willowy bonnet | 1 |
| #12 | wumpus-hair loincloth | 1 |
| #11 | wumpus-hair sweater | 1 |