| #34 | 99.44% pure math | 1 |
| #22 | A Beginner's Guide to Charming Snakes (used) | 1 |
| #10 | A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 5 (used) | 1 |
| #92 | Adventurer bobblehead | 1 |
| #437 | Atomic Comic | 1 |
| #956 | BGE tiny plastic toy | 1 |
| 🥇 | Bodacious MechaElf Hunter Saga:Relay Wolf | 1 |
| #33 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 2) (used) | 1 |
| #32 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 5) (used) | 1 |
| #6 | Celsius 233 (singed) | 1 |
| 🥈 | Crimbot ROM: Rapid Prototyping (dirty) | 1 |
| #79 | Dust bunny | 34 |
| #16 | Ellsbury's journal (used) | 1 |
| #5 | Finnish Fish | 56 |
| #569 | Goodfella contract | 23 |
| #19 | Huggler Radio | 1 |
| 🥉 | Illuminati earpiece | 666 |
| #21 | Inigo's Incantation of Inspiration (crumpled) | 1 |
| #149 | L.I.M.P. Stock Certificate | 285 |
| #453 | Lars the Cyberian | 1 |
| #45 | Martialest Arts trophy | 1 |
| #23 | Mr. Eh? | 1 |
| #36 | Ms. Accessory | 1 |
| 🥈 | Official Council Aide Pin | 1 |
| 🥇 | Pocket Meteor Guide (well-thumbed) | 1 |
| #7 | Protects-Your-Junk | 1 |
| #370 | Red Pill | 1 |
| #1049 | Schrödinger's thermos | 1 |
| 🥇 | Silver HP-35 Calculator | 1 |
| #26 | Skullhead's Screw | 70 |
| #492 | Skully's hot chocolate | 1 |
| 🥈 | Space Tours Tripple | 3,401 |
| #7 | Spelunker of Fortune (used) | 1 |
| 🥉 | Swedish massage fish | 158 |
| 🥈 | Tales of the Word Realms | 3 |
| #21 | The Art of Slapfighting (used) | 1 |
| #4 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 1 (used) | 1 |
| #4 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 6 (used) | 1 |
| 🥈 | The Spirit of Crimbo | 1 |
| 🥈 | The Spirit of Giving (used) | 1 |
| #500 | Thwaitgold Goliath beetle statuette | 8 |
| #494 | Thwaitgold amoeba statuette | 1 |
| #829 | Thwaitgold ant statuette | 1 |
| #1053 | Thwaitgold bee statuette | 2 |
| #638 | Thwaitgold bookworm statuette | 2 |
| #415 | Thwaitgold bug statuette | 2 |
| #1013 | Thwaitgold butterfly statuette | 1 |
| #632 | Thwaitgold caterpillar statuette | 4 |
| #405 | Thwaitgold chigger statuette | 1 |
| #415 | Thwaitgold cockroach statuette | 1 |
| #804 | Thwaitgold dragonfly statuette | 5 |
| #1197 | Thwaitgold firefly statuette | 3 |
| #1939 | Thwaitgold grasshopper statuette | 1 |
| #306 | Thwaitgold keyhole spider statuette | 1 |
| #147 | Thwaitgold listening bug statuette | 1 |
| #1418 | Thwaitgold maggot statuette | 2 |
| #146 | Thwaitgold metabug statuette | 3 |
| #326 | Thwaitgold moth statuette | 1 |
| #259 | Thwaitgold nit statuette | 1 |
| #345 | Thwaitgold nymph statuette | 2 |
| #623 | Thwaitgold praying mantis statuette | 1 |
| #89 | Thwaitgold quantum bug statuette | 13 |
| #1022 | Thwaitgold scarab beetle statuette | 2 |
| #363 | Thwaitgold scorpion statuette | 3 |
| #594 | Thwaitgold slug statuette | 3 |
| #669 | Thwaitgold spider statuette | 3 |
| #326 | Thwaitgold stag beetle statuette | 17 |
| #838 | Thwaitgold termite statuette | 4 |
| #126 | Thwaitgold time fly statuette | 1 |
| #516 | Thwaitgold wheel bug statuette | 1 |
| #505 | Thwaitgold woollybear statuette | 3 |
| #22 | Uncle Romulus (used) | 1 |
| 🥈 | Underworld acorn | 1 |
| 🥇 | Unspeakachu | 523 |
| #28 | Yeg's Motel pillow mint | 1 |
| #24 | Zu Mannkäse Dienen (used) | 1 |
| #88 | actual tapas | 5 |
| #14 | alien source code printout (used) | 1 |
| 🥈 | anniversary balsa wood socks | 1 |
| 🥇 | anniversary burlap belt | 1 |
| #227 | anniversary chutney sculpture | 1 |
| 🥈 | anniversary concrete fedora | 1 |
| 🥈 | anniversary pewter cape | 1 |
| 🥈 | anniversary safety glass vest | 1 |
| 🥈 | anniversary tiny latex mask | 1 |
| #7 | attorney's badge | 1,436 |
| #73 | bag of park garbage | 696 |
| #40 | baggie of regular-sized tardigrades | 11 |
| #138 | blank diary | 1 |
| #190 | bottled day | 1 |
| #12 | bowl of petunias | 1 |
| #2368 | box of sunshine | 48 |
| #205 | brilliant oyster egg | 1 |
| #82 | browser cookie | 1 |
| 🥇 | bucket of anniversary lard | 1 |
| #50 | bunny liver | 178 |
| #296 | can of V-11 | 1 |
| #145 | can-you-dig-it? | 1 |
| #37 | censored can label | 23 |
| #60 | cheer extractor | 17 |
| #383 | concentrated garbage juice | 2 |
| #735 | corrupted data | 1 |
| #18 | decomposed boot | 359 |
| #54 | delicious star salad | 2 |
| #43 | displaced fish | 444 |
| #687 | easter egg balloon | 36 |
| 🥈 | eerily silent box | 1 |
| #126 | eldritch alignment spray | 1 |
| #86 | eldritch mushroom | 1 |
| #4 | eldritch tincture (depleted) | 1 |
| #38 | exclusive club | 1 |
| #27 | fish head | 2 |
| #57 | fishy fish | 8 |
| #15 | freshwater fishbone | 126 |
| #210 | gleaming oyster egg | 1 |
| #218 | glistening oyster egg | 1 |
| #211 | golden plastic oyster egg | 1 |
| #103 | green pill | 1 |
| #22 | green rocket | 777 |
| #53 | grouper fangirl | 1 |
| #22 | halibut | 23 |
| 🥇 | hand of Mr. Cards | 1 |
| #395 | handful of numbers | 1 |
| #458 | hors d'oeuvre tray | 1 |
| #181 | hunk of granite | 2 |
| #43 | jar of anniversary jam | 1 |
| #41 | leftover canapés | 3 |
| 🥉 | lint | 21,506 |
| #59 | lump of not really wriggling eldritch matter | 1 |
| #191 | lustrous oyster egg | 1 |
| #58 | magic dragonfish fry | 1 |
| #653 | magical pony: Dusk Shiny | 1 |
| #603 | magical pony: Pearjack | 1 |
| #288 | magical pony: Rosey Cake | 6 |
| #635 | magical pony: Shutterfly | 1 |
| #631 | magical pony: Spectrum Dash | 1 |
| #597 | magical pony: Uniquity | 1 |
| #205 | magnificent oyster egg | 1 |
| 🥉 | midget clownfish | 32 |
| #579 | mime soul fragment | 1 |
| #418 | obnoxious riddle | 1 |
| #1607 | obsidian dagger | 8 |
| #136 | oyster egg balloon | 1 |
| #238 | pearlescent oyster egg | 1 |
| #843 | quantum taco | 1 |
| 🥇 | red shirt | 15,285 |
| #58 | ridiculous belt | 1 |
| #72 | ridiculous earring | 1 |
| #65 | ridiculous sunglasses | 1 |
| #206 | scintillating oyster egg | 1 |
| #422 | severed rocking horse head | 1 |
| #180 | shovelful of dirt | 2 |
| #4 | sinister-looking cat | 2,454 |
| #60 | software glitch | 1 |
| #41 | soul coin | 1 |
| #31 | soul knife | 1 |
| #35 | soul mask | 1 |
| 🥈 | soul monocle | 1 |
| #33 | space bar | 1 |
| #40 | space invader | 1 |
| #228 | space junk | 1 |
| #106 | spandex anniversary shorts | 1 |
| #34 | status cymbal | 1 |
| #234 | still-beating spleen | 1 |
| #12 | stuffed "L" | 1 |
| #1050 | sub-molecular interocitor | 1 |
| #58 | the finger | 1 |
| #296 | throbbing rage gland | 1 |
| #20 | warbear empathy chip (used) | 1 |