| #967 | A. W. O. L. commendation | 1 |
| #1117 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 1) | 1 |
| #1013 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 2) | 1 |
| #1054 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 3) | 1 |
| #1020 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 4) | 1 |
| #1009 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 5) | 1 |
| #1702 | CRIMBCO scrip | 5 |
| #75 | Cinco Mayo Lager | 4 |
| #3209 | Crimbuck | 1 |
| #195 | DNOTC Box | 2 |
| #172 | Field Guide to Skeletal Anatomy | 1 |
| #453 | Lars the Cyberian | 1 |
| #94 | Libram of BRICKOs | 1 |
| #49 | Libram of Resolutions | 1 |
| #49 | Loathing Legion knife | 1 |
| #28 | Mint Salton Pepper's Peppermint Seed Catalog | 2 |
| #212 | NPZR chemistry set | 24 |
| #999 | Pan-Dimensional Gargle Blaster | 6 |
| #23 | Pete & Jackie's Dragon Tooth Emporium Catalog | 2 |
| #69 | Sorcerers of the Shore Grimoire | 1 |
| #951 | Tales of a Kansas Toymaker | 1 |
| #76 | The Art of Slapfighting | 13 |
| #788 | The Joy of Wassailing | 2 |
| #1202 | Thwaitgold Goliath beetle statuette | 2 |
| #561 | Thwaitgold ant statuette | 2 |
| #128 | Time Bandit Time Towel | 1 |
| #37 | Time Lord Participation Mug | 1 |
| #119 | Tome of Clip Art | 1 |
| #110 | Tome of Sugar Shummoning | 1 |
| #28 | Uncle Crimbo's Rations | 25 |
| 🥈 | Underworld acorn | 1 |
| #13 | Underworld truncheon | 1 |
| 🥈 | Underworld trunk | 1 |
| #50 | Zu Mannkäse Dienen | 50 |
| #252 | banana-frosted king cake | 11 |
| 🥈 | battered Crimbo Crate | 19,953 |
| #75 | blank diary | 2 |
| #5 | bottle of peppermint schnapps | 59 |
| #12 | can of franks 'n' beans | 21 |
| #33 | cheap cigar butt | 122 |
| #82 | chocolate cigar | 18 |
| #427 | chocolate-frosted king cake | 4 |
| #278 | colorful plastic ball | 100 |
| 🥉 | control crystal | 1 |
| #172 | crystallized memory | 2 |
| #33 | deanimated reanimator's coffin | 1 |
| #13 | divine can of silly string | 7,378 |
| #36 | duct tape wallet | 130 |
| #1578 | dusty Crimbo crate | 1 |
| #925 | enchanted leopard-print barbell | 6 |
| #155 | expensive cigar | 1 |
| #3838 | fancy but probably evil chocolate | 1 |
| #292 | fancy chocolate car | 11 |
| #150 | floaty gravel | 1 |
| #165 | floaty inverse geode | 1 |
| #418 | floaty pebbles | 1 |
| #747 | floaty sand | 6 |
| #226 | glow-in-the-dark dart gun | 1 |
| #152 | glow-in-the-dark stuffed burrowgrub | 1 |
| #264 | glow-in-the-dark wristwatch | 1 |
| #1909 | green beer | 1 |
| #127 | handful of numbers | 3 |
| #74 | infant sandworm | 1 |
| #249 | intriguing puzzle box | 2 |
| #47 | leather aviator's cap | 1 |
| #178 | leftover Crimbo rations | 1 |
| #49 | mirrored aviator shades | 1 |
| #928 | pack of pogs | 1 |
| #177 | pebblebräu | 1 |
| #330 | phish stick | 3 |
| #169 | pile of loose snow | 1 |
| #207 | quantum taco | 128 |
| #326 | red plastic baby | 1 |
| #58 | ridiculous belt | 1 |
| #136 | ridiculous sandwich | 11 |
| #1031 | sandwich of the gods | 6 |
| 🥈 | speed limit shield | 1 |
| #570 | strange cube | 1 |
| #1711 | sturdy Crimbo crate | 1 |
| #649 | tiny plastic 11 Dealer | 1 |
| #383 | tiny plastic Best Game Ever | 1 |
| #265 | tiny plastic Big Candy | 1 |
| #444 | tiny plastic CRIMBCO HQ | 1 |
| #220 | tiny plastic ChibiBuddy™ | 1 |
| #620 | tiny plastic Crimbo Casino | 1 |
| #577 | tiny plastic Crimbomination | 1 |
| #632 | tiny plastic Don Crimbo | 1 |
| #281 | tiny plastic Fudge Wizard | 1 |
| #173 | tiny plastic GORM-8 | 1 |
| #169 | tiny plastic K.R.A.M.P.U.S. | 1 |
| #214 | tiny plastic MechaElf | 1 |
| #1057 | tiny plastic Mob Penguin | 1 |
| #401 | tiny plastic Mr. Mination | 1 |
| #171 | tiny plastic Toybot | 1 |
| #236 | tiny plastic Uncle Crimboku | 1 |
| #301 | tiny plastic abominable fudgeman | 1 |
| #243 | tiny plastic animelf | 1 |
| #991 | tiny plastic chunk of depleted Grimacite | 1 |
| #263 | tiny plastic colollilossus | 1 |
| #1018 | tiny plastic fat stack of cash | 1 |
| #425 | tiny plastic fax machine | 1 |
| #426 | tiny plastic hobo elf | 1 |
| #1035 | tiny plastic mutant elf | 1 |
| #585 | tiny plastic stocking mimic | 1 |
| #978 | tiny plastic strand of DNA | 1 |
| #224 | tiny plastic taco-clad Crimbo elf | 1 |
| #312 | tiny plastic trollipop | 1 |
| #191 | tiny plastic warbear | 1 |
| #178 | tiny plastic warbear fortress | 1 |
| #899 | wad of cotton | 1 |
| 🥇 | yield shield | 1 |