| #113 | "Humorous" T-shirt | 1 |
| #1149 | 1337 7r0uZ0RZ | 1 |
| #1016 | 30669 scroll | 1 |
| #1223 | 33398 scroll | 1 |
| #933 | 334 scroll | 1 |
| #1475 | 4-ball | 1 |
| #1426 | 6-ball | 1 |
| #922 | 7-Foot Dwarven mattock | 1 |
| #2232 | Ancient Saucehelm | 1 |
| #2097 | Angry Farmer candy | 1 |
| #4298 | Baron von Ratsworth's monocle | 1 |
| #1056 | Bulky Buddy Box | 2 |
| 🥈 | C.B.F.G. | 1 |
| #1118 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 1) | 1 |
| #1014 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 2) | 1 |
| #1055 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 3) | 1 |
| #1020 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 4) | 1 |
| #1009 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 5) | 1 |
| #529 | CRIMBCO lanyard | 1 |
| #1393 | CRIMBCO mug | 4 |
| #1423 | CRIMBCO wine | 3 |
| #2127 | CRIMBCOIDS mints | 2 |
| #371 | CRIMBCOLOAF | 7 |
| #445 | Cherry Cloaca Cola | 1 |
| #1731 | Cloaca grenade | 1 |
| #1496 | Cloaca-Cola | 1 |
| #1488 | Cloaca-Cola fatigues | 1 |
| #1419 | Cloaca-Cola helmet | 1 |
| #1429 | Cloaca-Cola shield | 1 |
| #491 | Colonel Mustard's Lonely Spades Club Jacket | 1 |
| #481 | Corporal Fennel's Lonely Clubs Club Jacket | 1 |
| #1261 | Crimbo peppermint bark | 2 |
| #4250 | Crown of the Goblin King | 1 |
| #443 | Diet Cloaca Cola | 1 |
| #2661 | Disco 'Fro Pick | 1 |
| #455 | Disco Banjo | 1 |
| #737 | Doc Galaktik's Homeopathic Elixir | 1 |
| #2053 | Dyspepsi-Cola | 1 |
| #45 | El Vibrato helmet | 1 |
| #159 | El Vibrato punchcard (115 holes) | 1 |
| #230 | El Vibrato punchcard (176 holes) | 1 |
| #323 | El Vibrato punchcard (216 holes) | 1 |
| #297 | El Vibrato punchcard (88 holes) | 1 |
| #249 | Fudgie Roll | 1 |
| #607 | Gaia beads | 1 |
| #277 | Gazpacho's Glacial Grimoire | 1 |
| #440 | General Sage's Lonely Diamonds Club Jacket | 1 |
| #789 | Gnollish flyswatter | 1 |
| #594 | Gnollish slotted spoon | 1 |
| #678 | Iiti Kitty phone charm | 1 |
| #870 | Jolly Roger charrrm | 1 |
| #990 | Knob Goblin elite helm | 1 |
| #995 | Knob Goblin elite pants | 1 |
| #973 | Knob Goblin elite polearm | 1 |
| #1052 | Knob Goblin elite shirt | 1 |
| #1208 | Knob Goblin firecracker | 1 |
| #1007 | Knob Goblin harem pants | 1 |
| #996 | Knob Goblin harem veil | 1 |
| #1090 | Knob Goblin love potion | 1 |
| #1046 | Knob Goblin pants | 1 |
| #738 | Knob Goblin perfume | 1 |
| #940 | Knob Goblin steroids | 1 |
| #892 | Knob Goblin visor | 1 |
| #1015 | Knoll mushroom | 1 |
| #3016 | Lord Spookyraven's ear trumpet | 3 |
| #969 | Lord of the Flies-sized fries | 1 |
| #1199 | M-242 | 1 |
| #1985 | MagiMechTech NanoMechaMech | 1 |
| #694 | Maxwell's Silver Hammer | 1 |
| #403 | Meat detector | 1 |
| #1139 | Mick's IcyVapoHotness Rub | 1 |
| #347 | Miniborg Destroy-O-Bot | 1 |
| #987 | Mohawk wig | 1 |
| #1002 | Mountain Stream soda | 1 |
| #1573 | Nickel Gamma of Frugality | 1 |
| #508 | Oil of Parrrlay | 1 |
| #843 | Orcish baseball cap | 1 |
| #793 | Orcish cargo shorts | 1 |
| #785 | Orcish frat-paddle | 1 |
| #309 | Orcish meat locker | 1 |
| #612 | PADL Phone | 1 |
| #618 | Pick-O-Matic lockpicks | 1 |
| #780 | Pine-Fresh air freshener | 1 |
| #813 | Pink Heart of Spirit | 1 |
| #476 | Private Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Jacket | 1 |
| #940 | Ram's Face Lager | 1 |
| #422 | Regular Cloaca Cola | 1 |
| #734 | Sneaky Pete's breath spray | 1 |
| #727 | Snow Queen Crown | 1 |
| #644 | Steal This Candy | 1 |
| #506 | Swabbieâ„¢ swab | 1 |
| #1955 | Tasty Fun Good rice candy | 1 |
| #852 | The Big Book of Pirate Insults | 1 |
| 🥈 | The Spirit of Crimbo | 1 |
| #562 | Tom's of the Spanish Main Toothpaste | 1 |
| #694 | Tuesday's ruby | 1 |
| #1286 | Wand of Nagamar | 1 |
| #1105 | Warm Subject gift certificate | 1 |
| #1171 | Zinc Delta of Tranquility | 1 |
| #1006 | acoustic guitarrr | 1 |
| #821 | adder bladder | 1 |
| #1432 | amulet of extreme plot significance | 1 |
| #670 | ancient protein powder | 1 |
| #227 | anniversary chutney sculpture | 1 |
| #1081 | annoying pitchfork | 1 |
| #631 | ant agonist | 1 |
| #886 | antique greaves | 1 |
| #895 | antique helmet | 1 |
| #905 | antique shield | 1 |
| #946 | antique spear | 1 |
| #432 | asbestos apron | 1 |
| #1105 | asbestos ore | 1 |
| #1079 | asparagus knife | 1 |
| #1921 | awful poetry journal | 1 |
| #1848 | baby killer bee | 1 |
| #261 | baconstone ring | 1 |
| #7431 | badass belt | 1 |
| #950 | bag of Cheat-Os | 1 |
| #430 | balaclava | 1 |
| #311 | balloon sword | 1 |
| #1235 | bar skin | 1 |
| #962 | barbed-wire fence | 1 |
| #8 | basic meat spork | 141 |
| #167 | bat-ass leather jacket | 1 |
| #1172 | batgut | 1 |
| #227 | battered hubcap | 1 |
| #571 | beer bong | 1 |
| #671 | beer helmet | 1 |
| #801 | bilge wine | 1 |
| 🥈 | biomechanical crimborg helmet | 1 |
| 🥈 | biomechanical crimborg leg armor | 1 |
| #694 | black greaves | 1 |
| #694 | black helmet | 1 |
| #1047 | black pixel | 1 |
| #667 | black shield | 1 |
| #851 | black snake skin | 1 |
| #726 | black sword | 1 |
| #221 | blackberry moccasins | 1 |
| #963 | bloody clown pants | 1 |
| #2554 | blue paisley oyster egg | 1 |
| #1231 | blue pixel | 1 |
| #666 | bone rattle | 1 |
| #751 | booty chest charrrm | 1 |
| #105 | booty chest charrrm bracelet | 1 |
| #409 | bottle of peppermint schnapps | 1 |
| #1586 | bottle of rum | 1 |
| #663 | bottle of sewage schnapps | 1 |
| #1261 | bottle of vodka | 1 |
| #544 | bottle opener belt buckle | 1 |
| #5247 | box of sunshine | 6 |
| #232 | broken carburetor | 1 |
| #1269 | broken skull | 1 |
| #589 | bronze breastplate | 1 |
| #541 | bronzed locust | 1 |
| #956 | bubbly potion | 1 |
| #706 | buckyball | 6 |
| #1103 | bugbear beanie | 1 |
| #1110 | bugbear bungguard | 1 |
| #593 | bullet-proof corduroys | 1 |
| #1095 | bum cheek | 1 |
| #1102 | can of CRIMBCOLA | 4 |
| #2974 | can-shaped gelatinous cranberry sauce | 1 |
| #2874 | candied yams | 1 |
| #3618 | candy cane | 3 |
| #2000 | candy kneecapping stick | 1 |
| #3830 | candy stake | 1 |
| #745 | cannonball charrrm | 1 |
| #586 | canopic jar | 1 |
| #611 | cardboard ore | 1 |
| #683 | cardboard wakizashi | 1 |
| #873 | casino pass | 1 |
| #687 | cat appendix | 1 |
| #818 | catgut | 1 |
| #1705 | chaos butterfly | 1 |
| #391 | chintzy accordion pin | 1 |
| #527 | chintzy turtle brooch | 1 |
| #822 | chopsticks | 1 |
| #452 | chrome crossbow | 1 |
| #523 | chrome sword | 1 |
| #549 | chunk of depleted Grimacite | 18 |
| #445 | chunk of rock salt | 1 |
| #662 | circular CRIMBCOOKIE | 3 |
| #616 | clay peace-sign bead | 1 |
| #967 | cloudy potion | 1 |
| #797 | clown shoes | 1 |
| #816 | clown skin | 1 |
| #611 | cocktail napkin | 1 |
| #1228 | cocoa eggshell fragment | 1 |
| #1279 | coconut shell | 1 |
| #1139 | cog | 1 |
| #777 | cold ninja mask | 1 |
| #651 | communications windchimes | 1 |
| #587 | concentrated magicalness pill | 1 |
| #864 | cool whip | 1 |
| #738 | copper ha'penny charrrm | 1 |
| #849 | cornuthaum | 1 |
| #1242 | cranberries | 1 |
| #951 | crazy little Turkish delight | 1 |
| #403 | curmudgel | 1 |
| #919 | cyborg doll | 1 |
| #962 | dark potion | 1 |
| #1293 | dead guy's watch | 1 |
| #583 | decaying goldfish liver | 1 |
| #770 | delicious salad | 37 |
| #245 | delicious shimmering moth | 1 |
| #923 | demon skin | 1 |
| #591 | deodorant | 1 |
| #3285 | diamond necklace | 1 |
| #597 | didgeridooka | 1 |
| #1096 | dirty hobo gloves | 1 |
| #532 | disbelief suspenders | 1 |
| #1848 | disco ball | 1 |
| #1717 | disco mask | 1 |
| #587 | distressed denim pants | 1 |
| #1853 | disturbing fanfic | 1 |
| #813 | drab sonata | 1 |
| #930 | draggin' ball hat | 1 |
| #1124 | dusty Crimbo crate | 4 |
| #272 | dusty animal cranium | 1 |
| #306 | dusty animal pelvis | 1 |
| #313 | dusty eighth thoracic vertebra | 1 |
| #281 | dusty right fourth front claw | 1 |
| #299 | dusty right sixth rib | 1 |
| #291 | dusty second caudal vertebra | 1 |
| #1281 | dwarf bread | 1 |
| #896 | eXtreme mittens | 1 |
| #854 | eXtreme scarf | 1 |
| #5139 | easter egg balloon | 1 |
| #946 | effervescent potion | 1 |
| #503 | effluvious emerald | 1 |
| #1117 | empty Cloaca-Cola bottle | 1 |
| #542 | enchanted barbell | 1 |
| #651 | enchanted toothpick | 1 |
| #540 | energy drink IV | 1 |
| #734 | enormous belt buckle | 1 |
| #1774 | explosion-flavored chewing gum | 1 |
| #470 | extra-strength strongness elixir | 1 |
| #1016 | eye of newt | 1 |
| #1084 | eyepatch | 1 |
| #952 | f3d0r4 | 1 |
| #849 | fancy bath salts | 1 |
| #1000 | filthy corduroys | 1 |
| #970 | filthy knitted dread sack | 1 |
| #2035 | filthy lucre | 1 |
| #609 | fish-liver oil | 1 |
| #957 | fizzy potion | 1 |
| #955 | flaming crutch | 1 |
| #941 | flaming talons | 1 |
| #905 | flaregun | 1 |
| #383 | flowing hippy skirt | 1 |
| #269 | foon | 1 |
| #776 | frightful feather | 1 |
| #825 | frilly skirt | 1 |
| #732 | frozen nunchaku | 1 |
| #782 | funky dried mushroom | 1 |
| #540 | furniture dolly | 1 |
| #1456 | furry fur | 1 |
| #427 | furry pants | 1 |
| #605 | fuzzbump | 1 |
| #4736 | fuzzy dice | 1 |
| #600 | gator skin | 1 |
| #188 | gatorskin umbrella | 1 |
| #982 | ghuol ears | 1 |
| #1640 | giant discarded bottlecap | 1 |
| #2409 | giant discarded plastic fork | 1 |
| #1516 | giant discarded torn-up glove | 1 |
| #642 | giant moxie weed | 1 |
| #1118 | giant needle | 2 |
| #2535 | giant pinky ring | 1 |
| #3809 | gingerbread horror | 1 |
| #683 | gingerbread mutant bugbear | 6 |
| #896 | glass of goat's milk | 1 |
| #1108 | glowing red eye | 1 |
| #747 | gnatwing | 1 |
| #155 | gnauga hide buckler | 1 |
| #149 | gnauga hide chaps | 1 |
| #203 | gnauga hide whip | 1 |
| #769 | gnoll lips | 1 |
| #788 | gnoll teeth | 1 |
| #820 | goat beard | 1 |
| #572 | goatskin umbrella | 1 |
| #826 | gob of wet hair | 1 |
| #394 | gold lamé pants | 1 |
| #2249 | golden ring | 26 |
| #2658 | googly eye | 1 |
| #1169 | goth kid t-shirt | 1 |
| #70 | grape troll doll | 1 |
| #500 | grave robbing shovel | 1 |
| #1159 | green candy heart | 1 |
| #1109 | green pixel | 1 |
| #198 | gremlin mutagen | 1 |
| #971 | grouchy restless spirit | 1 |
| #5337 | grue egg | 1 |
| #103 | grumpy old man charrrm bracelet | 1 |
| #391 | grungy bandana | 1 |
| #534 | guano coffee cup | 1 |
| #871 | guitar pick | 1 |
| #70 | gummi canary | 8 |
| #87 | gummi snake | 8 |
| #1225 | gyroscope | 1 |
| #374 | halfberd | 1 |
| #263 | hamethyst ring | 1 |
| #4022 | handful of confetti | 3 |
| #626 | handful of moss | 1 |
| #452 | handful of pine needles | 1 |
| #899 | handful of sand | 1 |
| #629 | handful of sawdust | 1 |
| #601 | handsomeness potion | 1 |
| #647 | happiness | 1 |
| #1114 | heavy D | 2 |
| #1877 | helmet turtle | 1 |
| #892 | hemp string | 1 |
| #966 | hill of beans | 1 |
| #428 | hippopotamus skin | 1 |
| #550 | hippy medical kit | 1 |
| #578 | hippy protest button | 1 |
| #88 | holiday cheese log | 27 |
| #575 | honey-dipped locust | 1 |
| #459 | hors d'oeuvre tray | 1 |
| #998 | hot katana blade | 1 |
| #605 | huge spoon | 1 |
| #729 | hypodermic needle | 1 |
| #1763 | ice-cold Sir Schlitz | 1 |
| #615 | icy katana hilt | 1 |
| #426 | icy-hot katana | 1 |
| #1920 | immense cyborg hand | 2 |
| #741 | infernal insoles | 1 |
| #605 | insanely spicy bean burrito | 1 |
| #303 | interesting-looking twig | 1 |
| #1886 | irradiated candy cane | 3 |
| #312 | jack flapper | 1 |
| #365 | jewelry-making pliers | 1 |
| #71 | jug of Gnomochloric acid | 1 |
| #543 | jug-o-magicalness | 1 |
| #505 | keg shield | 1 |
| #911 | ketchup hound | 1 |
| #499 | kickback cookbook | 1 |
| #1288 | killer rag doll | 1 |
| #2317 | killing feather | 6 |
| #632 | large box | 1 |
| #737 | laser-broiled pear | 12 |
| #2028 | lavender polka-dot oyster egg | 1 |
| #456 | leaflet | 1 |
| #743 | leathery bat skin | 1 |
| #796 | leathery cat skin | 1 |
| #588 | leathery rat skin | 1 |
| #1234 | lemon | 1 |
| #669 | leotarrrd | 1 |
| #1007 | lihc eye | 1 |
| #904 | lihc face | 1 |
| #1026 | line | 1 |
| #869 | linoleum ore | 1 |
| #1296 | little paper umbrella | 1 |
| #406 | llama lama gong | 1 |
| #481 | long pork | 1 |
| #912 | lowercase N | 1 |
| #1977 | lucky rabbit's foot | 1 |
| #2078 | mafia aria | 1 |
| #181 | makeshift turban | 1 |
| #750 | many-eyed glasses | 1 |
| #1299 | mariachi pants | 1 |
| #575 | marionette collective | 1 |
| #984 | meat paste | 1 |
| #1044 | meat stack | 1 |
| #1087 | meat vortex | 1 |
| #210 | meatsmithing guide | 1 |
| #132 | meatspout staff | 1 |
| #1203 | metallic A | 1 |
| #937 | milky potion | 1 |
| #897 | mind flayer corpse | 1 |
| #790 | miner's helmet | 1 |
| #785 | miner's pants | 1 |
| #467 | mojo filter | 1 |
| #1662 | monomolecular yo-yo | 3 |
| #647 | mother's little helper | 1 |
| #145 | moxie magnet | 1 |
| #599 | mullet wig | 1 |
| #910 | murky potion | 1 |
| #742 | mylar scout drone | 6 |
| #3075 | nanite-infested candy cane | 2 |
| #2559 | nanite-infested eggnog | 2 |
| #720 | nanite-infested fruitcake | 7 |
| #1086 | nanite-infested gingerbread bugbear | 5 |
| #628 | ninja mop | 1 |
| #3384 | obsidian dagger | 1 |
| #691 | old coin purse | 1 |
| #796 | olive | 1 |
| #440 | opera mask | 1 |
| #1229 | orange candy heart | 1 |
| #1170 | original G | 1 |
| #153 | outrageous sombrero | 1 |
| #1956 | oversized fish scaler | 1 |
| #618 | oversized pipe | 1 |
| #879 | oversized pizza cutter | 1 |
| #1889 | oyster basket | 1 |
| #1760 | pail | 1 |
| #239 | palm-frond cloak | 1 |
| #1584 | pants of the Slug Lord | 1 |
| #142 | parasitic claw | 2 |
| #228 | parasitic headgnawer | 1 |
| #233 | parasitic strangleworm | 1 |
| #189 | parasitic tentacles | 1 |
| #1564 | pasta spoon | 1 |
| #1060 | personalized birthday cake | 1 |
| #1170 | phonics down | 1 |
| #1146 | photoprotoneutron torpedo | 1 |
| #321 | pie crust | 1 |
| #660 | pile of jumping beans | 1 |
| #1155 | pink candy heart | 1 |
| #36 | pink plastic baby | 14 |
| #149 | pirate pamphlet | 1 |
| #592 | pitchfork | 1 |
| #1281 | plot hole | 1 |
| #261 | plump juicy grub | 1 |
| #449 | pointed stick | 1 |
| #702 | pointy mushroom | 1 |
| #530 | poltergeist-in-the-jar-o | 1 |
| #1722 | polyalloy shield | 2 |
| #186 | porquoise eyebrow ring | 1 |
| #294 | porquoise necklace | 1 |
| #251 | porquoise ring | 1 |
| #987 | pr0n legs | 1 |
| #2037 | pretty flower | 1 |
| #1166 | probability potion | 1 |
| #1188 | procrastination potion | 1 |
| #278 | pygmy spear | 1 |
| #587 | radio button candy | 1 |
| #555 | ram horns | 1 |
| #557 | ram stick | 1 |
| #1504 | ravioli hat | 1 |
| #835 | red gummi ingot | 8 |
| #577 | reinforced beaded headband | 1 |
| #772 | reodorant | 1 |
| #665 | ridiculously overelaborate ninja weapon | 1 |
| #1130 | ring of aggravate monster | 1 |
| #376 | ring of conflict | 1 |
| #338 | ring of fire resistance | 1 |
| #341 | ring of gain strength | 1 |
| #1103 | roboduck-on-a-string | 1 |
| #2366 | rogue swarmer | 12 |
| #2274 | roll of toilet paper | 1 |
| #388 | round green sunglasses | 1 |
| #638 | round purple sunglasses | 1 |
| #854 | royal jelly | 1 |
| #3636 | rubber WWBD? bracelet | 1 |
| #3662 | rubber WWJD? bracelet | 1 |
| #3658 | rubber WWSPD? bracelet | 1 |
| #3650 | rubber WWtNSD? bracelet | 1 |
| #1005 | ruby W | 1 |
| #319 | rusty metal ring | 1 |
| #884 | sabre teeth | 1 |
| #683 | safarrri hat | 1 |
| #981 | salamander spleen | 1 |
| #1708 | saucepan | 1 |
| #2397 | sawblade fragment | 8 |
| #1033 | sawblade shield | 1 |
| #1113 | scrumptious reagent | 1 |
| #1670 | seal-clubbing club | 1 |
| #1056 | seal-skull helmet | 1 |
| #398 | serpentine sword | 1 |
| #575 | sewer nuggets | 1 |
| #772 | shingle | 1 |
| #168 | shirt kit | 1 |
| #309 | shrinking powder | 1 |
| #891 | silver shrimp fork | 1 |
| #722 | silver tongue charrrm | 1 |
| #685 | six pack of Mountain Stream | 1 |
| #534 | sk8board | 1 |
| #1413 | skeleton bone | 1 |
| #942 | skeleton key | 1 |
| #788 | skewer | 1 |
| #589 | small box | 1 |
| #548 | small leather glove | 1 |
| #1014 | smart skull | 1 |
| #941 | smoky potion | 1 |
| #1119 | snake | 1 |
| #349 | snake shield | 1 |
| #802 | snowboarder pants | 1 |
| #1335 | soft green echo eyedrop antidote | 1 |
| #747 | solid gold pegleg | 1 |
| #3320 | spade necklace | 1 |
| #668 | spark plug earring | 1 |
| #1134 | sparkler | 1 |
| #3789 | spectre scepter | 1 |
| #823 | spiked femur | 1 |
| #1398 | spooky bicycle chain | 1 |
| #1063 | spooky eyeliner | 1 |
| #1086 | spooky lipstick | 1 |
| #1155 | spooky shrunken head | 1 |
| #1219 | spooky stick | 1 |
| #399 | spooky wad | 1 |
| #12 | spork | 1,544 |
| #1057 | sprocket | 1 |
| #1729 | square CRIMBCOOKIE | 1 |
| #1131 | squashed frog | 1 |
| #544 | stale baguette | 1 |
| #853 | stalk of asparagus | 1 |
| #919 | star chart | 1 |
| #606 | star hat | 1 |
| #944 | stick of "gum" | 1 |
| #821 | stinky mushroom | 1 |
| #387 | stone frisbee | 1 |
| #1394 | stone of eXtreme power | 1 |
| #939 | strange shiny disc | 1 |
| #888 | strawberry | 1 |
| #918 | strawberyl | 1 |
| #716 | strongness elixir | 1 |
| #8935 | stuffed Cheshire bitten | 1 |
| #8941 | stuffed MagiMechTech MicroMechaMech | 1 |
| #8863 | stuffed angry cow | 1 |
| #8974 | stuffed astral badger | 1 |
| #8950 | stuffed baby gravy fairy | 1 |
| #8831 | stuffed cocoabo | 1 |
| #8923 | stuffed flaming gravy fairy | 1 |
| #8978 | stuffed hand turkey | 1 |
| #8912 | stuffed mind flayer | 1 |
| #8940 | stuffed scary death orb | 1 |
| #4800 | stuffed shoulder parrot | 1 |
| #8960 | stuffed sleazy gravy fairy | 1 |
| #8803 | stuffed snowy owl | 1 |
| #8882 | stuffed spooky gravy fairy | 1 |
| #8880 | stuffed stinky gravy fairy | 1 |
| #8893 | stuffed undead elbow macaroni | 1 |
| #530 | stunt nuts | 1 |
| #1546 | sturdy Crimbo crate | 2 |
| #1296 | super-spiky hair gel | 1 |
| #1487 | support cummerbund | 1 |
| #592 | supportive bra | 1 |
| #963 | swashbuckling pants | 1 |
| #927 | swirly potion | 1 |
| #831 | taco shell | 1 |
| #1211 | tamarind-flavored chewing gum | 1 |
| #351 | tambourine | 1 |
| #384 | targeting chip | 1 |
| #603 | tarrrnish charrrm | 1 |
| #322 | tasket | 1 |
| #148 | tasty louse | 1 |
| #970 | tattered paper crown | 1 |
| #1592 | teddy borg | 2 |
| #74 | teddy borg sewing kit | 1 |
| #603 | tenderizing hammer | 1 |
| #1620 | thin black candle | 1 |
| #142 | tighty whiteys | 1 |
| #174 | tin star | 1 |
| #999 | tiny bottle of absinthe | 1 |
| #463 | tiny maracas | 1 |
| #8055 | tiny plastic grue | 1 |
| #1124 | tiny shaker of salt | 1 |
| #488 | tip jar | 1 |
| #265 | tisket | 1 |
| #1052 | titanium assault umbrella | 1 |
| #3157 | toast | 1 |
| #2812 | tofurkey leg | 1 |
| #1136 | tomato | 1 |
| #814 | tourmalime | 2 |
| #2400 | toy crazy train | 1 |
| #899 | toy deathbot | 1 |
| #921 | toy maglev monorail | 1 |
| #2475 | toy ray gun | 1 |
| #2262 | toy space helmet | 1 |
| #658 | triangular CRIMBCOOKIE | 3 |
| #575 | tube of dread wax | 1 |
| #609 | unrefined Mountain Stream syrup | 1 |
| #997 | unstable DNA | 39 |
| #2441 | unstable laser battery | 14 |
| #1910 | useless powder | 1 |
| #2411 | valuable trinket | 1 |
| #667 | vampire collar | 1 |
| #2320 | vibrating cyborg knife | 2 |
| #1042 | viking helmet | 1 |
| #647 | vinegar-soaked lemon slice | 1 |
| #895 | vorpal blade | 1 |
| #1099 | wad of dough | 1 |
| #586 | wang | 1 |
| #940 | water pipe bomb | 1 |
| #586 | white collar | 1 |
| #804 | white picket fence | 1 |
| #809 | white satin pants | 1 |
| #581 | white satin shield | 1 |
| #1058 | white snake skin | 1 |
| #854 | white sword | 1 |
| #512 | wicker shield | 1 |
| #814 | windchimes | 1 |
| #566 | witty rapier | 1 |
| #1245 | wolf mask | 1 |
| #364 | wooden axe | 1 |
| #1157 | wrench bracelet | 1 |
| #1046 | wussiness potion | 1 |
| #228 | ye olde golde frontes | 1 |
| #1379 | yellow candy heart | 1 |
| #2118 | yellow snowcone | 1 |
| #1736 | yeti fur | 1 |
| #606 | yohohoyo | 1 |
| #201 | yummy death watch beetle | 1 |