| #414 | Aluminum Epsilon of Humility | 1 |
| #613 | Baron von Ratsworth's money clip | 1 |
| #348 | Baron von Ratsworth's monocle | 30 |
| #522 | Blue Diamond of Honesty | 1 |
| #1741 | Breathetastic™ Premium Canned Air | 1 |
| #459 | C.A.R.N.I.V.O.R.E. button | 1 |
| 🥈 | C.B.F.G. | 1 |
| #150 | Cookbook of the Damned | 3 |
| #1369 | Copper Alpha of Sincerity | 1 |
| #534 | Danglin' Chad's loincloth | 1 |
| #1670 | Dyspepsi grenade | 1 |
| #423 | Eau de Guaneau | 1 |
| #373 | El Vibrato power sphere | 2 |
| #136 | Frat Army FGF | 45 |
| #108 | Gnomitronic Hyperspatial Demodulizer | 4 |
| #656 | Green Clover of Justice | 3 |
| #141 | Hippy Army MPE | 76 |
| #1288 | Iron Beta of Industry | 2 |
| #375 | Knob Goblin lunchbox | 3 |
| #228 | Lead Zeta of Chastity | 1 |
| #1354 | Lord Spookyraven's ear trumpet | 17 |
| #340 | McMillicancuddy's Special Lager | 6 |
| #492 | Mick's IcyVapoHotness Inhaler | 7 |
| #1270 | Orange Star of Sacrifice | 1 |
| #525 | Order of the Silver Wossname | 1 |
| #618 | Pick-O-Matic lockpicks | 1 |
| #813 | Pink Heart of Spirit | 1 |
| #232 | Purple Horseshoe of Honor | 1 |
| #260 | Red Balloon of Valor | 1 |
| #63 | Retenez L'Herbe Paté | 19 |
| #700 | SPF 451 lip balm | 2 |
| #118 | Saccharine Maple pendant | 1 |
| #105 | Scalp of Gorgolok | 16 |
| #185 | Sinful Desires | 3 |
| #393 | Slow Talkin' Elliot's dogtags | 2 |
| 🥈 | The Spirit of Crimbo | 1 |
| #513 | Typical Tavern swill | 3 |
| #166 | Uncle Jick's Brownie Mix | 22 |
| #249 | Uranium Omega of Temperance | 1 |
| #1612 | Yellow Moon of Compassion | 1 |
| #375 | Zim Merman's guitar | 2 |
| #1454 | anniversary gift box | 3 |
| #261 | around the world | 7 |
| #189 | asshat | 13 |
| #468 | baconstone | 17 |
| #1686 | badass belt | 32 |
| #753 | bag of lard | 1 |
| #343 | batblade | 8 |
| #455 | beaten-up Chucks | 1 |
| 🥈 | biomechanical crimborg helmet | 1 |
| 🥈 | biomechanical crimborg leg armor | 1 |
| #1206 | bit of clingfilm | 2 |
| #510 | black eyedrops | 1 |
| #174 | bobble-hip hula elf doll | 1 |
| #376 | bottle of Mystic Shell | 2 |
| #224 | bottle of alcohol | 15 |
| #465 | bottle of antifreeze | 2 |
| #804 | bottle of goofballs | 32 |
| #680 | bottle of pirate juice | 1 |
| #117 | bottle of rhinoceros hormones | 4 |
| #179 | bottle of single-barrel whiskey | 6 |
| #7453 | box of sunshine | 1 |
| #208 | brick of sand | 9 |
| #22 | broken carburetor | 11 |
| #1326 | can of Binarrrca | 4 |
| #591 | can of spinach | 3 |
| #302 | canopic jar | 14 |
| #74 | chintzy noodle ring | 18 |
| #48 | chintzy seal pendant | 25 |
| #744 | coconut shell | 15 |
| #114 | commemorative war stein | 823 |
| #113 | crotchety pants | 1 |
| #72 | denim axe | 8 |
| #93 | deodorant | 42 |
| #582 | distilled fortified wine | 3 |
| #375 | dry noodles | 270 |
| #626 | duct tape | 48 |
| #769 | easter egg balloon | 32 |
| #330 | facsimile dictionary | 32 |
| #60 | fancy seashell necklace | 639 |
| #282 | [2426]fire flower | 4 |
| #897 | grue egg | 30 |
| #243 | guy made of bee pollen | 13 |
| #866 | hamethyst | 9 |
| #1993 | handful of confetti | 17 |
| #518 | handful of sand | 15 |
| #506 | happiness | 2 |
| #333 | ice-cold six-pack | 30 |
| #411 | large box | 8 |
| #454 | longhaired hippy wig | 1 |
| #149 | magic lamp | 6 |
| #934 | magical ice cubes | 6 |
| #361 | natty blue ascot | 1 |
| #988 | obsidian dagger | 17 |
| 🥇 | old-fashioned Crimbo Pressie | 1 |
| #215 | photoprotoneutron torpedo | 162 |
| #379 | plot hole | 319 |
| #1148 | porquoise | 5 |
| #660 | really dense meat stack | 9 |
| #193 | red pixel potion | 25 |
| #231 | reodorant | 42 |
| #329 | ridiculously overelaborate ninja weapon | 6 |
| #1918 | roll of toilet paper | 5 |
| #376 | scented massage oil | 3 |
| #775 | scrumptious reagent | 13 |
| #309 | shrinking powder | 1 |
| #99 | silver shrimp fork | 21 |
| #250 | skeleton key ring | 3 |
| #436 | small box | 5 |
| #1541 | solid gold bowling ball | 6 |
| #419 | spark plug earring | 2 |
| #1523 | spectre scepter | 17 |
| #527 | spices | 28 |
| #259 | tasty tart | 6 |
| #535 | teeny-tiny magic scroll | 1 |
| #266 | ten-leaf clover | 99 |
| 🥇 | time sleigh | 1 |
| #1550 | tiny plastic Crimboween pentagram | 1 |
| #1531 | tiny plastic Scream Queen | 1 |
| #1732 | tiny plastic ancient yuletide troll | 1 |
| #1738 | tiny plastic gift-wrapping vampire | 1 |
| #1558 | tiny plastic skeletal reindeer | 1 |
| #632 | towel | 13 |
| #600 | tropical paperweight | 1 |
| #442 | tube sock | 1 |
| #732 | useless powder | 104 |
| #208 | white rice | 9 |
| #589 | wreath of laurels | 1 |
| #774 | yeti fur | 66 |