| 🥈 | Abuela Crimbo's special magnet | 1 |
| #2232 | Ancient Saucehelm | 1 |
| #2035 | Baron von Ratsworth's monocle | 5 |
| 🥈 | Big Candy's tophat | 1 |
| 🥇 | Book of Old-Timey Carols | 1 |
| 🥈 | C.B.F.G. | 1 |
| #1264 | CRIMBCO mug | 5 |
| #1127 | CRIMBCO wine | 5 |
| #2409 | Codpiece of the Goblin King | 1 |
| #1482 | Colander of Em-er'il | 2 |
| #399 | Cookbook of the Damned | 1 |
| 🥈 | Crimbo smile | 1 |
| #17 | Crimbo training manual | 1 |
| 🥇 | Crimbuccaneer war standard | 1 |
| #455 | Disco Banjo | 1 |
| 🥈 | Dolph Bossin's charity note | 1 |
| #1822 | Drowsy Sword | 4 |
| #2385 | Elder Turtle Shell | 1 |
| #335 | Elf Guard MPC | 6 |
| 🥇 | Elf Guard war standard | 1 |
| 🥈 | Fuzzby | 1 |
| #5 | History's Most Offensive Jokes, Vol. IX | 1 |
| #1204 | Instant Karma | 1 |
| #1676 | Iron Beta of Industry | 1 |
| #23 | Jokester makeup | 10 |
| #494 | L.I.M.P. Stock Certificate | 1 |
| #229 | Lead Zeta of Chastity | 1 |
| #2324 | Lord Spookyraven's ear trumpet | 6 |
| #118 | Saccharine Maple pendant | 1 |
| 🥇 | SalesCo sample kit | 1 |
| #2542 | Scalp of Gorgolok | 1 |
| #50 | The Jokester's gun | 1 |
| #42 | The Jokester's pants | 1 |
| #43 | The Jokester's wig | 1 |
| 🥈 | The Spirit of Crimbo | 1 |
| 🥈 | The Spirit of Giving (used) | 1 |
| #68 | The Superconductor's CPU | 1 |
| #1120 | Yakisoba's hat | 1 |
| #1150 | Yellow Moon of Compassion | 2 |
| 🥈 | anniversary balsa wood socks | 1 |
| 🥇 | anniversary burlap belt | 1 |
| #227 | anniversary chutney sculpture | 1 |
| 🥈 | anniversary concrete fedora | 1 |
| 🥈 | anniversary pewter cape | 1 |
| 🥈 | anniversary safety glass vest | 1 |
| 🥈 | anniversary tiny latex mask | 1 |
| #4171 | badass belt | 8 |
| #1036 | bath ball gift set | 3 |
| #120 | big red clown nose | 95 |
| 🥈 | biomechanical crimborg helmet | 1 |
| 🥈 | biomechanical crimborg leg armor | 1 |
| #160 | bloody clown pants | 51 |
| #4253 | bottle of goofballs | 2 |
| #1073 | bottle of single-barrel whiskey | 1 |
| #38 | bounty-hunting helmet | 1 |
| #32 | bounty-hunting pants | 1 |
| #38 | bounty-hunting rifle | 1 |
| 🥇 | bucket of anniversary lard | 1 |
| #228 | burrowgrub hive | 1 |
| #128 | cheer extractor | 1 |
| #108 | cheerful Crimbo sweater | 1 |
| #87 | cheerful antler hat | 1 |
| #86 | cheerful pajama pants | 1 |
| #235 | clown shoes | 13 |
| #353 | clown skin | 17 |
| #37 | clown whip | 6 |
| 🥉 | clown wig | 156 |
| #22 | clownskin belt | 30 |
| #19 | clownskin buckler | 12 |
| #52 | clownskin harness | 12 |
| #27 | coal paperweight | 1 |
| #694 | crystalline cheer | 1 |
| #132 | cursed dirty joke scroll | 13 |
| #344 | donated booze | 19 |
| #285 | donated candy | 25 |
| #345 | donated food | 16 |
| #5140 | easter egg balloon | 1 |
| #905 | figurine of a cold seal | 1 |
| #478 | figurine of a sleek seal | 3 |
| #422 | figurine of a wretched-looking seal | 1 |
| #688 | fuzzy busby | 1 |
| #2298 | fuzzy dice | 3 |
| #480 | fuzzy earmuffs | 2 |
| #452 | ghost of a necklace | 3 |
| #15 | gilded trumpet | 1 |
| 🥈 | glass eye | 1 |
| #223 | grass blade | 1 |
| #194 | grass hat | 1 |
| #188 | grass skirt | 1 |
| 🥇 | hand-knitted Crimbo socks | 1 |
| 🥇 | hand-knitted diving booties | 1 |
| #3715 | handful of confetti | 4 |
| #43 | jar of anniversary jam | 1 |
| #499 | kickback cookbook | 1 |
| #18 | mime army infiltration glove | 1 |
| #22 | mime army insignia (cryonics) | 1 |
| #25 | mime army insignia (espionage) | 1 |
| #24 | mime army insignia (infantry) | 1 |
| #25 | mime army insignia (intelligence) | 1 |
| #26 | mime army insignia (morale) | 1 |
| #17 | mime army insignia (psychological warfare) | 1 |
| #38 | mime army insignia (pyrotechnics) | 1 |
| #18 | mime army insignia (sanitation) | 1 |
| #73 | mime pocket probe | 1 |
| 🥇 | mime-proof sunglasses | 1 |
| #78 | miming beret | 1 |
| #84 | miming boots | 1 |
| #100 | miming corduroys | 1 |
| #92 | miming gloves | 1 |
| #96 | miming shirt | 1 |
| #803 | motivational poster | 4 |
| #600 | mysterious silver lapel pin | 1 |
| 🥇 | novelty monorail ticket | 1 |
| #54 | obnoxious riddle | 6 |
| #2519 | obsidian dagger | 3 |
| #652 | old sweatpants | 97 |
| #436 | orange peel hat | 1 |
| #103 | paperclip cape | 1 |
| #99 | paperclip pants | 1 |
| #91 | paperclip turban | 1 |
| #101 | paperclip-on tie | 1 |
| #401 | paranormal ricotta | 1 |
| 🥇 | peppermint harpoon gun | 1 |
| #45 | reusable shopping bag | 1 |
| #1031 | sawblade shield | 1 |
| #476 | seal-blubber candle | 1 |
| #477 | shimmering tendrils | 1 |
| #17 | shining star cap | 1 |
| #106 | spandex anniversary shorts | 1 |
| #2385 | spectre scepter | 6 |
| #269 | sucker bucket | 1 |
| #256 | sucker hakama | 1 |
| #219 | sucker kabuto | 1 |
| #278 | sucker tachi | 1 |
| #83 | suspicious-looking fedora | 1 |
| #374 | tiny plastic scary clown | 18 |
| 🥇 | train whistle | 1 |
| 🥇 | wand of fudge control | 1 |
| #1157 | wrench bracelet | 1 |