| 🥈 | Abuela Crimbo's special magnet | 1 |
| #2228 | Ancient Saucehelm | 1 |
| #2031 | Baron von Ratsworth's monocle | 5 |
| 🥈 | Big Candy's tophat | 1 |
| 🥇 | Book of Old-Timey Carols | 1 |
| 🥈 | C.B.F.G. | 1 |
| #1266 | CRIMBCO mug | 5 |
| #1126 | CRIMBCO wine | 5 |
| #2407 | Codpiece of the Goblin King | 1 |
| #1474 | Colander of Em-er'il | 2 |
| #399 | Cookbook of the Damned | 1 |
| 🥈 | Crimbo smile | 1 |
| #17 | Crimbo training manual | 1 |
| 🥇 | Crimbuccaneer war standard | 1 |
| #453 | Disco Banjo | 1 |
| 🥈 | Dolph Bossin's charity note | 1 |
| #1819 | Drowsy Sword | 4 |
| #2383 | Elder Turtle Shell | 1 |
| #275 | Elf Guard MPC | 6 |
| 🥇 | Elf Guard war standard | 1 |
| 🥈 | Fuzzby | 1 |
| #5 | History's Most Offensive Jokes, Vol. IX | 1 |
| #1192 | Instant Karma | 1 |
| #1670 | Iron Beta of Industry | 1 |
| #23 | Jokester makeup | 10 |
| #487 | L.I.M.P. Stock Certificate | 1 |
| #226 | Lead Zeta of Chastity | 1 |
| #2314 | Lord Spookyraven's ear trumpet | 6 |
| #118 | Saccharine Maple pendant | 1 |
| 🥇 | SalesCo sample kit | 1 |
| #2541 | Scalp of Gorgolok | 1 |
| #49 | The Jokester's gun | 1 |
| #40 | The Jokester's pants | 1 |
| #41 | The Jokester's wig | 1 |
| 🥈 | The Spirit of Crimbo | 1 |
| 🥈 | The Spirit of Giving (used) | 1 |
| #62 | The Superconductor's CPU | 1 |
| #1114 | Yakisoba's hat | 1 |
| #1144 | Yellow Moon of Compassion | 2 |
| 🥈 | anniversary balsa wood socks | 1 |
| 🥇 | anniversary burlap belt | 1 |
| #227 | anniversary chutney sculpture | 1 |
| 🥈 | anniversary concrete fedora | 1 |
| 🥈 | anniversary pewter cape | 1 |
| 🥈 | anniversary safety glass vest | 1 |
| 🥈 | anniversary tiny latex mask | 1 |
| #4171 | badass belt | 8 |
| #1036 | bath ball gift set | 3 |
| #118 | big red clown nose | 95 |
| 🥈 | biomechanical crimborg helmet | 1 |
| 🥈 | biomechanical crimborg leg armor | 1 |
| #159 | bloody clown pants | 51 |
| #4253 | bottle of goofballs | 2 |
| #1066 | bottle of single-barrel whiskey | 1 |
| #37 | bounty-hunting helmet | 1 |
| #32 | bounty-hunting pants | 1 |
| #38 | bounty-hunting rifle | 1 |
| 🥇 | bucket of anniversary lard | 1 |
| #227 | burrowgrub hive | 1 |
| #128 | cheer extractor | 1 |
| #109 | cheerful Crimbo sweater | 1 |
| #87 | cheerful antler hat | 1 |
| #86 | cheerful pajama pants | 1 |
| #233 | clown shoes | 13 |
| #351 | clown skin | 17 |
| #37 | clown whip | 6 |
| 🥉 | clown wig | 156 |
| #22 | clownskin belt | 30 |
| #19 | clownskin buckler | 12 |
| #52 | clownskin harness | 12 |
| #27 | coal paperweight | 1 |
| #683 | crystalline cheer | 1 |
| #131 | cursed dirty joke scroll | 13 |
| #329 | donated booze | 19 |
| #271 | donated candy | 25 |
| #334 | donated food | 16 |
| #5140 | easter egg balloon | 1 |
| #902 | figurine of a cold seal | 1 |
| #478 | figurine of a sleek seal | 3 |
| #421 | figurine of a wretched-looking seal | 1 |
| #687 | fuzzy busby | 1 |
| #2294 | fuzzy dice | 3 |
| #477 | fuzzy earmuffs | 2 |
| #442 | ghost of a necklace | 3 |
| #16 | gilded trumpet | 1 |
| 🥇 | glass eye | 1 |
| #222 | grass blade | 1 |
| #193 | grass hat | 1 |
| #188 | grass skirt | 1 |
| 🥇 | hand-knitted Crimbo socks | 1 |
| 🥇 | hand-knitted diving booties | 1 |
| #3707 | handful of confetti | 4 |
| #43 | jar of anniversary jam | 1 |
| #498 | kickback cookbook | 1 |
| #19 | mime army infiltration glove | 1 |
| #22 | mime army insignia (cryonics) | 1 |
| #25 | mime army insignia (espionage) | 1 |
| #24 | mime army insignia (infantry) | 1 |
| #25 | mime army insignia (intelligence) | 1 |
| #26 | mime army insignia (morale) | 1 |
| #17 | mime army insignia (psychological warfare) | 1 |
| #38 | mime army insignia (pyrotechnics) | 1 |
| #18 | mime army insignia (sanitation) | 1 |
| #72 | mime pocket probe | 1 |
| 🥇 | mime-proof sunglasses | 1 |
| #78 | miming beret | 1 |
| #84 | miming boots | 1 |
| #100 | miming corduroys | 1 |
| #93 | miming gloves | 1 |
| #95 | miming shirt | 1 |
| #804 | motivational poster | 4 |
| #598 | mysterious silver lapel pin | 1 |
| 🥇 | novelty monorail ticket | 1 |
| #55 | obnoxious riddle | 6 |
| #2522 | obsidian dagger | 3 |
| #642 | old sweatpants | 97 |
| #434 | orange peel hat | 1 |
| #105 | paperclip cape | 1 |
| #100 | paperclip pants | 1 |
| #92 | paperclip turban | 1 |
| #102 | paperclip-on tie | 1 |
| #403 | paranormal ricotta | 1 |
| 🥇 | peppermint harpoon gun | 1 |
| #42 | reusable shopping bag | 1 |
| #1037 | sawblade shield | 1 |
| #478 | seal-blubber candle | 1 |
| #478 | shimmering tendrils | 1 |
| #16 | shining star cap | 1 |
| #106 | spandex anniversary shorts | 1 |
| #2372 | spectre scepter | 6 |
| #269 | sucker bucket | 1 |
| #257 | sucker hakama | 1 |
| #219 | sucker kabuto | 1 |
| #278 | sucker tachi | 1 |
| #83 | suspicious-looking fedora | 1 |
| #373 | tiny plastic scary clown | 18 |
| 🥇 | train whistle | 1 |
| 🥇 | wand of fudge control | 1 |
| #1158 | wrench bracelet | 1 |