| #1016 | 30669 scroll | 1 |
| #1223 | 33398 scroll | 1 |
| #933 | 334 scroll | 1 |
| #262 | 64067 scroll | 1 |
| #394 | 668 scroll | 1 |
| #50 | 7-inch discus | 1 |
| #33 | A Beginner's Guide to Charming Snakes | 25 |
| #247 | A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 1 | 1 |
| #279 | A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 2 | 1 |
| #256 | A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 3 | 1 |
| #223 | A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 4 | 1 |
| #295 | A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 5 | 1 |
| #225 | A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 6 | 1 |
| #96 | Asleep in the Cemetery | 11 |
| #81 | Atomic Comic | 4 |
| #1045 | BGE merchandise order form | 1 |
| #222 | Benetton's Medley of Diversity | 1 |
| #148 | Biddy Cracker's Old-Fashioned Cookbook | 6 |
| #80 | Blizzards I Have Died In | 7 |
| #254 | Bohemian rhapsody | 1 |
| #77 | Bruno's blessing of Mars | 3 |
| #90 | Burt's blessing of Bacchus | 3 |
| #1117 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 1) | 1 |
| #1013 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 2) | 1 |
| #1054 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 3) | 1 |
| #1019 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 4) | 1 |
| #1008 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 5) | 1 |
| #92 | CRIMBCO wine | 69 |
| #42 | Chinese curse words | 8 |
| #281 | Codex of Capsaicin Conjuration | 1 |
| #116 | Cookbook of the Damned | 4 |
| #28 | Crimbo Candy Cookbook | 106 |
| #2374 | Crimboween memo | 1 |
| #88 | Dennis's blessing of Minerva | 3 |
| #29 | Discontent™ Winter Garden Catalog | 1 |
| #72 | Elf Farm Raffle ticket | 55 |
| #211 | Elron's Explosive Etude | 1 |
| #269 | Feng Shui for Big Dumb Idiots | 39 |
| #170 | Field Guide to Skeletal Anatomy | 1 |
| #8 | Fitspiration™ poster | 209 |
| #89 | Fly-By-Knight Heraldry form | 1 |
| #91 | Freddie's blessing of Mercury | 3 |
| #34 | GameInformPowerDailyPro subscription card | 1 |
| #148 | Gazpacho's Glacial Grimoire | 2 |
| #105 | Ghost Pinching Quarterly | 1 |
| #86 | Grumpy Bumpkin's Pumpkin Seed Catalog | 1 |
| #39 | Hjodor's Guide to Arctic Dalmatians | 2 |
| #534 | Inigo's Incantation of Inspiration | 1 |
| #249 | Kissin' Cousins | 4 |
| #66 | Lars the Cyberian | 5 |
| #166 | Let Me Be! | 8 |
| #94 | Libram of BRICKOs | 1 |
| #145 | Libram of Candy Heart Summoning | 1 |
| #83 | Libram of Divine Favors | 1 |
| #112 | Libram of Love Songs | 1 |
| #48 | Libram of Resolutions | 1 |
| #18 | Little Crimson Book | 2 |
| #224 | Massive Manual of Marauder Mockery | 1 |
| #208 | Maxing, Relaxing | 5 |
| #61 | McPhee's Grimoire of Hilarious Object Summoning | 1 |
| #163 | Mer-kin healscroll | 2 |
| #132 | Mer-kin killscroll | 3 |
| #105 | Mer-kin pinkslip | 1 |
| #66 | Mint Salton Pepper's Peppermint Seed Catalog | 1 |
| #7 | Monster Manuel | 1 |
| #34 | Necrotelicomnicon | 32 |
| #164 | Notes from the Elfpocalypse, Chapter I | 8 |
| #177 | Notes from the Elfpocalypse, Chapter II | 8 |
| #234 | Notes from the Elfpocalypse, Chapter III | 4 |
| #212 | Notes from the Elfpocalypse, Chapter IV | 3 |
| #183 | Notes from the Elfpocalypse, Chapter V | 4 |
| #162 | Notes from the Elfpocalypse, Chapter VI | 5 |
| #56 | O'RLY manual | 44 |
| #50 | Order of the Green Thumb Order Form | 1 |
| #45 | Pete & Jackie's Dragon Tooth Emporium Catalog | 1 |
| #175 | Prelude of Precision | 1 |
| #98 | Rad Lib | 1 |
| #168 | Rainbow's Gravity | 1 |
| #144 | Really Expensive Jewelry and You | 1 |
| #78 | S.A.V.E. flyer | 5 |
| #129 | Scratch 'n' Sniff Sticker Tome | 1 |
| #152 | Sensual Massage for Creeps | 7 |
| #102 | Sinful Desires | 7 |
| #68 | Sorcerers of the Shore Grimoire | 1 |
| #56 | Squat-Thrust Magazine | 31 |
| #53 | Summer Nights | 11 |
| #248 | Taco Dan's Taco Stand Flier | 1 |
| #69 | Tales from the Fireside | 9 |
| #951 | Tales of a Kansas Toymaker | 1 |
| #66 | The Art of Slapfighting | 16 |
| #402 | The Autobiography Of Dynamite Superman Jones | 3 |
| #852 | The Big Book of Pirate Insults | 1 |
| #697 | The Joy of Wassailing | 3 |
| #302 | The Necbronomicon | 1 |
| #38 | The Smith's Tome | 1 |
| #102 | The Snitch's Manifesto | 1 |
| 🥈 | The Spirit of Crimbo | 1 |
| #34 | The Thorax's Codex of Tormenting Plants | 4 |
| #33 | Thinknerd's Grimoire of Geeky Gifts | 1 |
| #114 | Tome of Clip Art | 1 |
| #224 | Travels with Jerry | 5 |
| #62 | Uncle Romulus | 21 |
| #233 | Ye Olde Bawdy Limerick | 1 |
| #309 | Zu Mannkäse Dienen | 6 |
| #37 | airplane charter: Spring Break Beach | 1 |
| #203 | alien source code printout | 1 |
| #195 | antique 8-Bit Power magazine | 9 |
| #205 | antique painting of a landscape | 4 |
| #388 | antique record album | 7 |
| #52 | antique souvenir drawing | 12 |
| #346 | awful poetry journal | 370 |
| #138 | blank diary | 1 |
| #79 | blank prescription sheet | 2 |
| #75 | chewable paper | 4 |
| #101 | confiscated comic book | 1 |
| #70 | confiscated love note | 4 |
| #71 | crazy hobo notebook | 15 |
| #597 | cup of infinite pencils | 1 |
| #279 | cursed dirty joke scroll | 4 |
| #279 | disco horoscope (Aquarius) | 1 |
| #280 | disco horoscope (Aries) | 1 |
| #276 | disco horoscope (Cancer) | 1 |
| #285 | disco horoscope (Capricorn) | 1 |
| #272 | disco horoscope (Gemini) | 1 |
| #261 | disco horoscope (Leo) | 1 |
| #278 | disco horoscope (Libra) | 1 |
| #276 | disco horoscope (Pisces) | 1 |
| #272 | disco horoscope (Sagittarius) | 1 |
| #284 | disco horoscope (Scorpio) | 1 |
| #275 | disco horoscope (Taurus) | 1 |
| #278 | disco horoscope (Virgo) | 1 |
| #787 | disintegrating quill pen | 1 |
| #476 | disintegrating sheet music | 1 |
| #372 | disturbing fanfic | 375 |
| #656 | donkey flipbook | 1 |
| #813 | drab sonata | 1 |
| #56 | dry cleaning receipt | 11 |
| #425 | dwarvish magazine | 1 |
| #63 | fumble formula | 1 |
| #99 | giant book of ancient carols | 1 |
| #86 | grim fairy tale | 3 |
| #76 | heavy leather-bound tome | 3 |
| #455 | heavy metal sonata | 1 |
| #209 | helmet recipe | 1 |
| #668 | inkwell | 1 |
| #499 | kickback cookbook | 1 |
| #21 | kitty sheet music | 1 |
| #51 | little black book | 15 |
| #250 | love song of disturbing obsession | 7 |
| #251 | love song of icy revenge | 3 |
| #340 | love song of naughty innuendo | 1 |
| #288 | love song of smoldering passion | 4 |
| #275 | love song of sugary cuteness | 3 |
| #252 | love song of vague ambiguity | 5 |
| #2078 | mafia aria | 1 |
| #210 | meatsmithing guide | 1 |
| #58 | mole skin notebook | 2 |
| #38 | mother's secret recipe | 4 |
| #1340 | motivational poster | 1 |
| #35 | naughty origami kit | 2 |
| #69 | old love note | 10 |
| 🥉 | origami "gentlemen's" magazine | 1 |
| #1091 | paperclip | 3 |
| #1464 | penguin thesaurus | 1 |
| #747 | picture of a dead guy's girlfriend | 1 |
| #119 | pirate brochure | 1 |
| #149 | pirate pamphlet | 1 |
| #131 | pirate tract | 1 |
| #1087 | poison pen | 1 |
| #83 | post-holiday sale coupon | 1 |
| #126 | purple prose pen | 1 |
| #35 | record of infuriating silence | 1 |
| #25 | record of menacing silence | 1 |
| #28 | record of tranquil silence | 1 |
| #101 | recording of Benetton's Medley of Diversity | 2 |
| #124 | recording of Chorale of Companionship | 1 |
| #118 | recording of Donho's Bubbly Ballad | 2 |
| #95 | recording of Elron's Explosive Etude | 2 |
| #107 | recording of Inigo's Incantation of Inspiration | 1 |
| #91 | recording of Prelude of Precision | 2 |
| #144 | recording of The Ballad of Richie Thingfinder | 1 |
| #84 | red book | 4 |
| #38 | scroll of Protection from Bad Stuff | 11 |
| #38 | scroll of Puddingskin | 11 |
| #90 | scroll of ancient forbidden unspeakable evil | 42 |
| #499 | scroll of drastic healing | 106 |
| #437 | scroll of pasta summoning | 28 |
| #279 | sensitive poetry journal | 1 |
| #128 | short writ of habeas corpus | 1 |
| #9 | smudged alchemical recipe | 251 |
| #122 | spooky sound effects record | 1 |
| #919 | star chart | 1 |
| #142 | tattered scrap of paper | 58 |
| #19 | teeny-tiny magic scroll | 19 |
| #128 | terrible poem | 11 |
| #34 | triad summoning scroll | 13 |
| #103 | very overdue library book | 7 |
| #42 | warbear drone codes | 1 |
| #41 | white page | 13 |
| #29 | woimbook | 1 |
| #26 | wreath of laurels | 19 |