| #78 | 25-meat staff | 2 |
| #414 | Aluminum Epsilon of Humility | 1 |
| #537 | Angelhair Culottes | 2 |
| #297 | Ankh of Badahnkadh | 1 |
| #1133 | Asleep in the Cemetery | 1 |
| #27 | Ax of L'rose | 1 |
| #15 | BGE merchandise order form | 141 |
| #534 | Bandolier of the Spaghetti Elemental | 2 |
| #613 | Baron von Ratsworth's money clip | 1 |
| #562 | Biddy Cracker's Old-Fashioned Cookbook | 2 |
| #815 | Blizzards I Have Died In | 1 |
| #2384 | Bonerdagon necklace | 1 |
| #1673 | Boss Bat bling | 1 |
| #2773 | Boss Bat britches | 1 |
| #39 | Brimstone Beret | 1 |
| #63 | Brimstone Bludgeon | 1 |
| #100 | Brimstone Boxers | 1 |
| #23 | Brimstone Bracelet | 1 |
| #31 | Brimstone Brooch | 1 |
| #39 | Brimstone Bunker | 1 |
| #282 | C.A.R.N.I.V.O.R.E. button | 2 |
| #1118 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 1) | 1 |
| #1013 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 2) | 1 |
| #1053 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 3) | 1 |
| #1020 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 4) | 1 |
| #1009 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 5) | 1 |
| #281 | Codex of Capsaicin Conjuration | 1 |
| #2407 | Codpiece of the Goblin King | 1 |
| #967 | Colander of Em-er'il | 3 |
| #491 | Colonel Mustard's Lonely Spades Club Jacket | 1 |
| #399 | Cookbook of the Damned | 1 |
| #1368 | Copper Alpha of Sincerity | 1 |
| #910 | Crimbo Candy Cookbook | 4 |
| #6 | Crimbomination Contraption | 1 |
| #4250 | Crown of the Goblin King | 1 |
| #320 | Danglin' Chad's loincloth | 2 |
| #11 | Dickory Farms Gift Basket | 151 |
| #1695 | Disco 'Fro Pick | 2 |
| #1785 | El Sombrero De Lopez | 1 |
| #42 | El Vibrato energy spear | 1 |
| #45 | El Vibrato helmet | 1 |
| #31 | El Vibrato leg guards | 1 |
| #1468 | Elder Turtle Shell | 2 |
| #1008 | Feng Shui for Big Dumb Idiots | 1 |
| #251 | Ferrigno's Elixir of Power | 1 |
| #777 | Galapagosian Cuisses | 1 |
| #277 | Gazpacho's Glacial Grimoire | 1 |
| #10 | Go-Wassail | 3,407 |
| #256 | Green Clover of Justice | 8 |
| #248 | Hawking's Elixir of Brilliance | 1 |
| #894 | Iron Beta of Industry | 5 |
| #54 | Kentucky-fried meat staff | 1 |
| #837 | Kissin' Cousins | 1 |
| #334 | Krakrox's Loincloth | 3 |
| #815 | La Hebilla del Cinturón de Lopez | 1 |
| #778 | Lederhosen of the Night | 1 |
| #1061 | Let Me Be! | 1 |
| #1200 | M-242 | 1 |
| #1985 | MagiMechTech NanoMechaMech | 1 |
| #848 | Maxing, Relaxing | 1 |
| #282 | Necrotelicomnicon | 2 |
| #872 | Orange Star of Sacrifice | 2 |
| #115 | Order of the Silver Wossname | 6 |
| #29 | PVC staff | 1 |
| #143 | Really Expensive Jewelry and You | 1 |
| #1610 | Scalp of Gorgolok | 2 |
| #975 | Sensual Massage for Creeps | 1 |
| #471 | Sinful Desires | 1 |
| #393 | Slow Talkin' Elliot's dogtags | 2 |
| 🥈 | Stabonic scroll | 1 |
| #62 | Staff of Blood and Pudding | 1 |
| 🥇 | Staff of the Black Kettle | 81 |
| #27 | Staff of the Grand Flambé | 1 |
| #27 | Staff of the Grease Trap | 1 |
| #85 | Staff of the Greasefire | 1 |
| #34 | Staff of the Kitchen Floor | 1 |
| #44 | Staff of the Midnight Snack | 2 |
| #60 | Staff of the November Jack-O-Lantern | 1 |
| #66 | Staff of the Short Order Cook | 1 |
| #121 | Staff of the Soupbone | 1 |
| #77 | Staff of the Teapot Tempest | 1 |
| #49 | Staff of the Walk-In Freezer | 1 |
| 🥇 | Staff of the Well-Tempered Cauldron | 66 |
| #13 | Staff of the Woodfire | 1 |
| #945 | Summer Nights | 1 |
| #592 | Tales from the Fireside | 2 |
| #951 | Tales of a Kansas Toymaker | 1 |
| #30 | Talisman of Baio | 1 |
| #853 | The Big Book of Pirate Insults | 1 |
| #967 | The Joy of Wassailing | 1 |
| #935 | Travels with Jerry | 1 |
| #701 | Uncle Romulus | 1 |
| #594 | Wand of Nagamar | 7 |
| #1612 | Yellow Moon of Compassion | 1 |
| #615 | Zim Merman's guitar | 1 |
| #1568 | adorable seal larva | 1 |
| #706 | all-purpose cleaner | 1 |
| #227 | anniversary chutney sculpture | 1 |
| #387 | asbestos staff | 1 |
| #1921 | awful poetry journal | 1 |
| #2450 | baconstone | 1 |
| #72 | bark beret | 1 |
| #70 | bark boxers | 1 |
| #91 | bark bracelet | 1 |
| #114 | basic meat staff | 1 |
| #1035 | bath ball gift set | 3 |
| #347 | big bad voodoo mask | 1 |
| #76 | big stirring stick | 1 |
| #510 | black eyedrops | 1 |
| #269 | blackberry combat boots | 1 |
| #143 | blackberry galoshes | 1 |
| #226 | blackberry slippers | 1 |
| #76 | bone spurs | 1 |
| #61 | boneana hammock | 1 |
| #63 | bonedanna | 1 |
| #37 | bounty-hunting helmet | 1 |
| #31 | bounty-hunting pants | 1 |
| #37 | bounty-hunting rifle | 1 |
| #55 | bubblewrap staff | 1 |
| #57 | cardboard staff | 1 |
| #429 | chrome staff | 1 |
| #24 | clockwork staff | 2 |
| 🥉 | control crystal | 1 |
| #37 | corrupt club of corrupt corruption | 1 |
| #113 | crotchety pants | 1 |
| #23 | crumbling rat skull | 61 |
| #268 | cyclops eyedrops | 1 |
| #32 | dead guy's memento | 1 |
| #63 | dense meat staff | 1 |
| #344 | dishrag | 1 |
| #1853 | disturbing fanfic | 1 |
| #550 | divine blowout | 1 |
| #655 | donkey flipbook | 1 |
| #76 | dripping meat staff | 1 |
| #127 | duct tape dockers | 1 |
| #92 | duct tape fedora | 1 |
| #232 | duct tape sword | 1 |
| #111 | eXtreme meat staff | 1 |
| #1944 | facsimile dictionary | 1 |
| #2393 | felt | 1 |
| #692 | [2426]fire flower | 1 |
| #55 | fishy wand | 2 |
| #63 | flypaper staff | 1 |
| #496 | foam noodle | 1 |
| 🥈 | fossilized necklace | 1 |
| #1453 | friendly cheez blob | 1 |
| #45 | frigid-ass club | 1 |
| #98 | frozen seal spine | 1 |
| #29 | fudge bunny | 23 |
| #195 | fudgecule | 13,058 |
| #2296 | fuzzy dice | 3 |
| #72 | glistening staff | 1 |
| #88 | hairy staff | 1 |
| #139 | hand grenegg | 1 |
| #1160 | handful of confetti | 35 |
| #984 | heart of the volcano | 5 |
| #74 | infernal toilet brush | 1 |
| #577 | inflatable duck | 1 |
| #2793 | irradiated candy cane | 1 |
| #43 | jar of anniversary jam | 1 |
| #499 | kickback cookbook | 1 |
| #437 | linoleum staff | 1 |
| #456 | longhaired hippy wig | 1 |
| #193 | lump of Saccharine Maple sap | 1 |
| #335 | meatcar model | 1 |
| #132 | meatspout staff | 1 |
| #212 | natty blue ascot | 2 |
| #628 | ninja mop | 1 |
| #2847 | obsidian dagger | 2 |
| #435 | orange peel hat | 1 |
| #1890 | oyster basket | 1 |
| #1491 | pail | 2 |
| #88 | paranormal ricotta | 6 |
| #807 | party hat | 1 |
| #168 | pile of loose snow | 1 |
| #466 | plastic guitar | 1 |
| #213 | plexiglass pants | 1 |
| #328 | plexiglass pikestaff | 1 |
| #213 | plexiglass pinky ring | 1 |
| #288 | plexiglass pith helmet | 1 |
| #180 | plexiglass pocketwatch | 1 |
| #450 | pointed stick | 1 |
| #1184 | pool cue | 1 |
| #26 | psychedelic bubble wand | 1 |
| #335 | quasi-ethereal macaroni fragments | 3 |
| #64 | radioactive chew toy | 1 |
| #123 | ram-battering staff | 1 |
| #1298 | rib of the Bonerdagon | 1 |
| #58 | ridiculous belt | 1 |
| #136 | ridiculous sandwich | 11 |
| #41 | savory staff | 1 |
| #150 | scintillating powder | 1 |
| #176 | shimmering tendrils | 4 |
| #534 | sk8board | 1 |
| #1063 | slow jam collection | 2 |
| #29 | smoking talon | 2 |
| #57 | smoldering staff | 1 |
| #453 | snake | 11 |
| #72 | soylent staff | 1 |
| #1135 | sparkler | 1 |
| #1742 | spectre scepter | 13 |
| #1479 | spooky hockey mask | 1 |
| #278 | spooky staff | 1 |
| #1219 | spooky stick | 1 |
| #69 | squeaky staff | 1 |
| #992 | stainless steel scarf | 3 |
| #1128 | stainless steel shillelagh | 4 |
| #1224 | stainless steel skullcap | 3 |
| #1335 | stainless steel slacks | 3 |
| #773 | stainless steel solitaire | 4 |
| #791 | stainless steel suspenders | 5 |
| #309 | star staff | 1 |
| #57 | starchy staff | 1 |
| #8942 | stuffed MagiMechTech MicroMechaMech | 1 |
| #8948 | stuffed baby gravy fairy | 1 |
| #8831 | stuffed cocoabo | 1 |
| #45 | styrofoam staff | 1 |
| #2400 | toy crazy train | 1 |
| #2209 | toy jet pack | 1 |
| #2765 | tree-eating kite | 2 |
| #442 | tube sock | 1 |
| #82 | twitching trigger finger | 1 |
| #245 | vampire glitter | 1 |
| 🥇 | wand of fudge control | 1 |
| #474 | water wings | 1 |
| #91 | willowy bonnet | 1 |
| #338 | wine-soaked bone chips | 2 |
| #281 | world's smallest violin | 1 |
| #230 | wreath of laurels | 3 |