| #774 | 'WILL WORK FOR BOOZE' sign | 1 |
| #32 | A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 3 | 4 |
| #410 | Aluminum Epsilon of Humility | 1 |
| #1132 | Asleep in the Cemetery | 1 |
| #27 | Ax of L'rose | 1 |
| #1258 | Baron von Ratsworth's tophat | 1 |
| #909 | Bling of the New Wave | 1 |
| #811 | Blizzards I Have Died In | 1 |
| #522 | Blue Diamond of Honesty | 1 |
| #588 | C.H.U.M. knife | 1 |
| #1367 | Copper Alpha of Sincerity | 1 |
| #3209 | Crimbuck | 1 |
| #534 | Danglin' Chad's loincloth | 1 |
| #2383 | Elder Turtle Shell | 1 |
| #467 | Elmley shades | 1 |
| #512 | Frat Army FGF | 1 |
| #605 | Gaia beads | 1 |
| #774 | Galapagosian Cuisses | 1 |
| #784 | Garter of the Turtle Poacher | 1 |
| #1436 | Green Clover of Justice | 1 |
| #569 | Hippy Army MPE | 1 |
| #274 | Hodgman's blanket | 5 |
| #777 | Instant Karma | 4 |
| #1670 | Iron Beta of Industry | 1 |
| #1281 | Jocko Homo's head | 1 |
| #836 | Kissin' Cousins | 1 |
| 🥈 | LARP membership card | 1 |
| #226 | Lead Zeta of Chastity | 1 |
| #1061 | Let Me Be! | 1 |
| #523 | Lockenstock™ sandals | 1 |
| #437 | Mace of the Tortoise | 1 |
| #849 | Maxing, Relaxing | 1 |
| #592 | Monstar energy beverage | 1 |
| #597 | Mr. Joe's bangles | 1 |
| #1568 | Nickel Gamma of Frugality | 1 |
| #1266 | Orange Star of Sacrifice | 1 |
| #610 | PADL Phone | 1 |
| #805 | Pan-Dimensional Gargle Blaster | 9 |
| #813 | Pink Heart of Spirit | 1 |
| #233 | Purple Horseshoe of Honor | 1 |
| #4 | Radio KoL Flashlight | 1 |
| #1068 | Safari Jack's moustache | 1 |
| #974 | Sensual Massage for Creeps | 1 |
| #946 | Summer Nights | 1 |
| #938 | Tales from the Fireside | 1 |
| #931 | Travels with Jerry | 1 |
| #1114 | Yakisoba's hat | 1 |
| #1612 | Yellow Moon of Compassion | 1 |
| #1168 | Zinc Delta of Tranquility | 1 |
| #520 | Zu Mannkäse Dienen | 3 |
| #57 | ancient turtle shell helmet | 1 |
| #227 | anniversary chutney sculpture | 1 |
| #122 | antique souvenir drawing | 8 |
| #431 | asbestos apron | 1 |
| #654 | banana peel | 1 |
| #213 | battered Crimbo Crate | 62 |
| #224 | battered hubcap | 1 |
| #454 | beaten-up Chucks | 1 |
| #642 | bed of coals | 1 |
| #965 | beer bomb | 1 |
| #569 | beer bong | 1 |
| #668 | beer helmet | 1 |
| #954 | bejeweled cufflinks | 1 |
| #743 | bejeweled pledge pin | 1 |
| #873 | black candy heart | 1 |
| #544 | bottle opener belt buckle | 1 |
| #570 | bowl of fishysoisse | 1 |
| #3612 | box of sunshine | 18 |
| #230 | box turtle | 1 |
| #2703 | brick | 1 |
| #93 | bubblewrap bottlecap turtleban | 1 |
| 🥇 | bucket of anniversary lard | 1 |
| #590 | bullet-proof corduroys | 1 |
| #527 | chintzy turtle brooch | 1 |
| #575 | chloroform rag | 1 |
| #252 | chrome helmet turtle | 1 |
| #716 | comfy coffin | 1 |
| #648 | communications windchimes | 1 |
| #557 | concentrated garbage juice | 1 |
| #570 | corncob pipe | 1 |
| #615 | deadly lampshade | 1 |
| #616 | depantsing bomb | 1 |
| #595 | didgeridooka | 1 |
| #582 | distressed denim pants | 1 |
| #547 | divine noisemaker | 1 |
| #126 | dueling turtle | 1 |
| #620 | dusty Crimbo crate | 17 |
| #759 | enchanted leopard-print barbell | 9 |
| #539 | energy drink IV | 1 |
| #655 | ferret bait | 1 |
| #325 | figurine of a charred seal | 10 |
| #225 | figurine of a cold seal | 29 |
| #478 | figurine of a sleek seal | 3 |
| #386 | figurine of a slippery seal | 4 |
| #154 | figurine of a stinking seal | 15 |
| #634 | filth-encrusted futon | 1 |
| #529 | fire poi | 1 |
| #497 | flamin' bindle | 1 |
| #384 | flowing hippy skirt | 1 |
| #859 | flute of flat champagne | 1 |
| #460 | freezin' bindle | 1 |
| #561 | frigid air mattress | 1 |
| #781 | funky dried mushroom | 1 |
| #539 | furniture dolly | 1 |
| #196 | furry green turtle | 1 |
| #614 | gauze garter | 1 |
| #697 | gearbox necklace | 1 |
| #563 | giant foam finger | 1 |
| #191 | green candygram | 2 |
| #176 | grinning turtle | 1 |
| #275 | guard turtle collar | 1 |
| #351 | guard turtle shell | 1 |
| #399 | half-orchid | 1 |
| #2123 | handful of confetti | 15 |
| #225 | hedgeturtle | 1 |
| #1873 | helmet turtle | 1 |
| #384 | henna face paint | 1 |
| #547 | hippy medical kit | 1 |
| #576 | hippy protest button | 1 |
| #183 | hobo fortress blueprints | 1 |
| #43 | jar of anniversary jam | 1 |
| #693 | jar of fermented pickle juice | 1 |
| #581 | jar of squeeze | 1 |
| #1885 | joybuzzer | 1 |
| #504 | keg shield | 1 |
| #528 | kick-ass kicks | 1 |
| #1898 | kneecapping stick | 1 |
| #230 | knobby helmet turtle | 1 |
| #66 | knobby kneepads | 1 |
| #1166 | lavender candy heart | 1 |
| #124 | lavender candygram | 4 |
| #937 | lewd playing card | 1 |
| #563 | lucky bottlecap | 1 |
| #109 | misfit teddy bear | 1 |
| #586 | molotov cocktail cocktail | 1 |
| #1229 | orange candy heart | 1 |
| #150 | orange candygram | 5 |
| #434 | orange peel hat | 1 |
| #616 | oversized pipe | 1 |
| #129 | padded tortoise | 1 |
| #56 | painted shield | 1 |
| #581 | panhandle panhandling hat | 1 |
| #445 | panty raider camouflage | 1 |
| #808 | party hat | 1 |
| #609 | perforated battle paddle | 1 |
| #286 | pink candygram | 1 |
| #17 | plans for depleted Grimacite weightlifting belt | 1 |
| #155 | pr0n m4nic0tti | 3 |
| #891 | purple snowcone | 1 |
| #586 | radio button candy | 1 |
| #1723 | really dense meat stack | 1 |
| #611 | red snowcone | 5 |
| #576 | reinforced beaded headband | 1 |
| #73 | reinforced furry underpants | 1 |
| #634 | round purple sunglasses | 1 |
| #747 | rusty chain necklace | 2 |
| #745 | sake bomb | 1 |
| #636 | salty dog | 4 |
| #815 | sandwich of the gods | 9 |
| #378 | sausage bomb | 1 |
| #1037 | sawblade shield | 1 |
| #409 | shiny hood ornament | 1 |
| #889 | silver shrimp fork | 1 |
| #201 | skeletortoise | 1 |
| #512 | sleazy bindle | 1 |
| #412 | sleeping wereturtle | 1 |
| #149 | snailmail bits | 1 |
| #31 | snailmail breeches | 1 |
| #34 | snailmail coif | 1 |
| #43 | snailmail hauberk | 1 |
| 🥉 | snow belly | 1 |
| #10 | snow hat | 1 |
| 🥉 | snow pants | 1 |
| #2837 | solid gold bowling ball | 1 |
| #106 | spandex anniversary shorts | 1 |
| #669 | spark plug earring | 1 |
| #60 | spiky turtle helmet | 1 |
| #62 | spiky turtle shield | 1 |
| #59 | spiky turtle shoulderpads | 1 |
| #555 | spooky bindle | 1 |
| #492 | stinkin' bindle | 1 |
| #408 | stuffed Hodgman | 1 |
| #291 | sturdy Crimbo crate | 60 |
| #166 | syncopated turtle | 1 |
| #608 | tequila grenade | 1 |
| #1002 | tiny bottle of absinthe | 1 |
| #2039 | tiny plastic Crimbo elf | 4 |
| #110 | torquoise | 1 |
| #126 | tortoboggan | 1 |
| #576 | tube of dread wax | 1 |
| #674 | turtle pheromones | 1 |
| #1787 | turtle totem | 1 |
| #196 | turtle wax | 1 |
| #85 | turtle wax shield | 1 |
| #286 | turtlemail bits | 1 |
| #101 | turtlemail breeches | 1 |
| #110 | turtlemail coif | 1 |
| #111 | turtlemail hauberk | 1 |
| #130 | turtling rod | 1 |
| #508 | war tongs | 1 |
| #937 | water pipe bomb | 1 |
| #940 | white candy heart | 3 |
| #509 | wicker shield | 1 |
| #587 | wreath of laurels | 1 |
| #1158 | wrench bracelet | 1 |
| #221 | yellow brick road | 4 |