| #784 | ASCII shirt | 1 |
| #135 | Cloaca grenade | 122 |
| #435 | Cloaca-Cola | 82 |
| #495 | Cloaca-Cola c-rations | 7 |
| #103 | Cloaca-Cola fatigues | 22 |
| #146 | Cloaca-Cola helmet | 14 |
| #249 | Cloaca-Cola knapsack | 11 |
| #265 | Cloaca-Cola shield | 9 |
| #1367 | Copper Alpha of Sincerity | 1 |
| #2376 | Crimboween memo | 1 |
| #1772 | Crimbuck | 82 |
| #190 | Dogsgotnonoz pills | 1 |
| #387 | Dyspepsi grenade | 34 |
| #353 | Dyspepsi-Cola | 188 |
| #355 | Dyspepsi-Cola d-rations | 9 |
| #64 | Dyspepsi-Cola fatigues | 26 |
| #58 | Dyspepsi-Cola helmet | 29 |
| #232 | Dyspepsi-Cola knapsack | 12 |
| #62 | Dyspepsi-Cola shield | 25 |
| #580 | Dyspepsi-Cola-issue canteen | 1 |
| #1436 | Green Clover of Justice | 1 |
| #1670 | Iron Beta of Industry | 1 |
| #86 | Knob Goblin harem pants | 78 |
| #65 | Knob Goblin harem veil | 99 |
| #235 | Knob Goblin love potion | 65 |
| #374 | Knob Goblin lunchbox | 3 |
| #73 | Knob Goblin perfume | 54 |
| #914 | Mick's IcyVapoHotness Inhaler | 2 |
| #1568 | Nickel Gamma of Frugality | 1 |
| #1266 | Orange Star of Sacrifice | 1 |
| #141 | Penultimate Fantasy chest | 263 |
| #813 | Pink Heart of Spirit | 1 |
| #962 | SPF 451 lip balm | 1 |
| #1068 | Safari Jack's moustache | 1 |
| #613 | Slow Talkin' Elliot's dogtags | 1 |
| #1250 | Uncle Crimbo's Rations | 1 |
| #200 | Unionize The Elves sign | 1 |
| #271 | Warm Subject gift certificate | 431 |
| #1612 | Yellow Moon of Compassion | 1 |
| #1168 | Zinc Delta of Tranquility | 1 |
| #39 | ancient ice cream scoop | 50 |
| #341 | ancient vinyl coin purse | 9 |
| #634 | anniversary gift box | 6 |
| #769 | aspirin | 1 |
| #354 | awful poetry journal | 364 |
| #299 | black pension check | 12 |
| #420 | bottle of pirate juice | 2 |
| #451 | briefcase | 7 |
| #101 | bubbly potion | 187 |
| #414 | chaos butterfly | 448 |
| #116 | cloudy potion | 187 |
| #111 | dark potion | 173 |
| #393 | disturbing fanfic | 352 |
| #655 | donkey flipbook | 1 |
| #89 | effervescent potion | 222 |
| #317 | empty Cloaca-Cola bottle | 38 |
| #1072 | facsimile dictionary | 6 |
| #506 | fake blood | 2 |
| #3838 | fancy but probably evil chocolate | 1 |
| #2520 | fancy chocolate | 1 |
| #1881 | fancy chocolate car | 1 |
| #692 | [2426]fire flower | 1 |
| #563 | fizzy potion | 10 |
| #2795 | handful of confetti | 9 |
| #327 | harem girl t-shirt | 3 |
| #259 | heavy D | 411 |
| #16 | hockey stick of furious angry rage | 1 |
| #178 | leftover Crimbo rations | 1 |
| #163 | line | 552 |
| #779 | loaded serum blowgun | 5 |
| #201 | lowercase N | 91 |
| #210 | metallic A | 240 |
| #112 | milky potion | 168 |
| #95 | murky potion | 211 |
| #259 | old coin purse | 33 |
| #233 | old leather wallet | 36 |
| 🥇 | old-fashioned Crimbo Pressie | 1 |
| #265 | original G | 402 |
| #330 | phish stick | 3 |
| #169 | pile of loose snow | 1 |
| #637 | plastic Crimbo reindeer | 1 |
| #342 | plot hole | 412 |
| #704 | pork elf goodies sack | 8 |
| #586 | radio button candy | 1 |
| #1216 | really dense meat stack | 3 |
| #236 | ruby W | 76 |
| #600 | scented massage oil | 2 |
| #256 | shiny stones | 13 |
| #111 | six-pack of New Cloaca-Cola | 2 |
| #1094 | sleeping snowy owl | 1 |
| #121 | smoky potion | 156 |
| #2031 | solid gold bowling ball | 3 |
| #1479 | spooky hockey mask | 1 |
| #1799 | stainless steel scarf | 1 |
| #2241 | stainless steel shillelagh | 1 |
| #1582 | stainless steel skullcap | 2 |
| #2249 | stainless steel slacks | 1 |
| #139 | star | 556 |
| #156 | star chart | 124 |
| #600 | string of Crimbo lights | 1 |
| #100 | swirly potion | 211 |
| #368 | teeny-tiny magic scroll | 2 |
| #352 | thin black candle | 628 |
| 🥇 | time sleigh | 1 |
| #649 | tiny plastic 11 Dealer | 1 |
| #620 | tiny plastic Crimbo Casino | 1 |
| #3079 | tiny plastic Crimbo elf | 2 |
| #1747 | tiny plastic Crimbo wreath | 2 |
| #577 | tiny plastic Crimbomination | 1 |
| #1548 | tiny plastic Crimboween pentagram | 1 |
| #632 | tiny plastic Don Crimbo | 1 |
| #1057 | tiny plastic Mob Penguin | 1 |
| #1530 | tiny plastic Scream Queen | 1 |
| #1807 | tiny plastic Uncle Crimbo | 2 |
| #1731 | tiny plastic ancient yuletide troll | 1 |
| #991 | tiny plastic chunk of depleted Grimacite | 1 |
| #1018 | tiny plastic fat stack of cash | 1 |
| #1736 | tiny plastic gift-wrapping vampire | 1 |
| #1035 | tiny plastic mutant elf | 1 |
| #1557 | tiny plastic skeletal reindeer | 1 |
| #585 | tiny plastic stocking mimic | 1 |
| #978 | tiny plastic strand of DNA | 1 |
| #2892 | tiny plastic sweet nutcracker | 2 |
| #2128 | toy mercenary | 1 |
| #601 | tropical paperweight | 1 |
| #1135 | tropical wrapping paper | 1 |
| #587 | wreath of laurels | 1 |
| #1862 | zombie pineal gland | 1 |