| #200 | Aluminum Epsilon of Humility | 2 |
| #27 | Ax of L'rose | 1 |
| #1044 | BGE merchandise order form | 1 |
| #911 | Baron von Ratsworth's monocle | 13 |
| #63 | Brimstone Bludgeon | 1 |
| 🥈 | C.B.F.G. | 1 |
| #296 | CRIMBCO scrip | 1,111 |
| #740 | Claw of the Infernal Seal | 1 |
| #2464 | Colander of Em-er'il | 1 |
| #886 | Copper Alpha of Sincerity | 2 |
| #6 | Crimbomination Contraption | 1 |
| #2379 | Crimbuck | 11 |
| #1695 | Disco 'Fro Pick | 2 |
| #952 | Drowsy Sword | 15 |
| #2384 | Elder Turtle Shell | 1 |
| #1440 | Green Clover of Justice | 1 |
| #1206 | Instant Karma | 1 |
| #1288 | Iron Beta of Industry | 2 |
| #724 | Krakrox's Loincloth | 1 |
| #1462 | Lord Spookyraven's ear trumpet | 15 |
| #1202 | Nickel Gamma of Frugality | 2 |
| #872 | Orange Star of Sacrifice | 2 |
| #463 | Pink Heart of Spirit | 2 |
| #1610 | Scalp of Gorgolok | 2 |
| 🥈 | The Spirit of Crimbo | 1 |
| 🥈 | Underworld acorn | 1 |
| 🥈 | Underworld trunk | 1 |
| #1612 | Yellow Moon of Compassion | 1 |
| #1171 | Zinc Delta of Tranquility | 1 |
| #1568 | adorable seal larva | 1 |
| #227 | anniversary chutney sculpture | 1 |
| #2605 | anniversary gift box | 1 |
| #125 | archaeologing shovel | 1 |
| #132 | bad-ass club | 1 |
| #2460 | badass belt | 20 |
| #72 | bark beret | 1 |
| #70 | bark boxers | 1 |
| #91 | bark bracelet | 1 |
| 🥈 | biomechanical crimborg helmet | 1 |
| 🥈 | biomechanical crimborg leg armor | 1 |
| #2232 | bottle of goofballs | 9 |
| 🥇 | bucket of anniversary lard | 1 |
| #629 | burst hellseal brain | 4 |
| #26 | club of corruption | 1 |
| 🥉 | control crystal | 1 |
| #37 | corrupt club of corrupt corruption | 1 |
| #17 | corrupt club of corruption | 1 |
| #19 | creepy-ass club | 1 |
| #516 | depleted uranium seal figurine | 1 |
| #1145 | ennui-flavored potato chips | 1 |
| #26 | evil-ass club | 1 |
| #868 | facsimile dictionary | 9 |
| #778 | figurine of a charred seal | 1 |
| #905 | figurine of a cold seal | 1 |
| #147 | figurine of a cute baby seal | 1 |
| #503 | figurine of a shadowy seal | 1 |
| #769 | figurine of a sleek seal | 1 |
| #585 | figurine of a slippery seal | 1 |
| #7 | figurine of a stinking seal | 142 |
| #422 | figurine of a wretched-looking seal | 1 |
| #305 | figurine of an ancient seal | 1 |
| #181 | figurine of an armored seal | 1 |
| #45 | frigid-ass club | 1 |
| #75 | frost-rimed seal hide | 8 |
| #34 | fustulent seal grulch | 19 |
| #323 | gearbox necklace | 3 |
| #2480 | grue egg | 8 |
| #2125 | handful of confetti | 15 |
| #1679 | heart of the volcano | 1 |
| #485 | hellseal claw | 11 |
| #452 | hellseal whisker | 11 |
| #59 | helm of the white knight | 1 |
| #24 | hot-ass club | 1 |
| #184 | hyperinflated seal lung | 1 |
| #48 | ingot of seal-iron | 8 |
| #63 | insane tophat | 1 |
| #43 | jar of anniversary jam | 1 |
| #20 | nasty-ass club | 1 |
| #1079 | obsidian dagger | 15 |
| #307 | pig-iron helm | 1 |
| #213 | plexiglass pants | 1 |
| #211 | plexiglass pendant | 1 |
| #328 | plexiglass pikestaff | 1 |
| #213 | plexiglass pinky ring | 1 |
| #288 | plexiglass pith helmet | 1 |
| #1612 | pork elf goodies sack | 1 |
| #613 | quasi-ethereal macaroni fragments | 1 |
| #748 | rusty chain necklace | 2 |
| #1031 | sawblade shield | 1 |
| #160 | scrap of shadow | 1 |
| #156 | seal lube | 1 |
| #244 | seal-blubber candle | 11 |
| #234 | seal-brain elixir | 1 |
| #65 | sealhide belt | 1 |
| #76 | sealhide buckler | 1 |
| #63 | sealhide cloak | 1 |
| #68 | sealhide gloves | 1 |
| #74 | sealhide hood | 1 |
| #63 | sealhide leggings | 1 |
| #68 | sealhide moccasins | 1 |
| #301 | sealhide seal doll | 1 |
| #86 | sealhide whip | 1 |
| #13 | severed flipper | 11 |
| #126 | sizzling seal fat | 2 |
| #106 | spandex anniversary shorts | 1 |
| #417 | spark plug earring | 2 |
| #1608 | spectre scepter | 15 |
| #1799 | stainless steel scarf | 1 |
| #2244 | stainless steel shillelagh | 1 |
| #2140 | stainless steel skullcap | 1 |
| #2248 | stainless steel slacks | 1 |
| #1708 | stainless steel suspenders | 1 |
| #36 | tainted seal's blood | 13 |
| 🥇 | time sleigh | 1 |
| #52 | trousers of the white knight | 1 |
| #1497 | vertebra of the Bonerdagon | 2 |
| #900 | wad of cotton | 1 |
| #695 | wrench bracelet | 3 |
| #15 | wrench handle | 1 |
| #78 | wristwatch of the white knight | 1 |
| #11 | wumpus-hair sweater | 1 |