| #773 | 'WILL WORK FOR BOOZE' sign | 1 |
| #92 | 4:20 bomb | 1 |
| #684 | BGE 'cuddly critter' shirt | 1 |
| #732 | BGE 'ferocious fruit' shirt | 1 |
| #746 | BGE merchandise order form | 3 |
| #1378 | BGE shotglass | 3 |
| #633 | BGE tiny plastic toy | 2 |
| #815 | Blizzards I Have Died In | 1 |
| #1501 | Bulky Buddy Box | 1 |
| #582 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 1) | 2 |
| #480 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 2) | 2 |
| #508 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 3) | 2 |
| #466 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 4) | 2 |
| #475 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 5) | 2 |
| #529 | CRIMBCO lanyard | 1 |
| #1762 | CRIMBCO mug | 2 |
| #259 | CRIMBCO scrip | 1,365 |
| #1940 | CRIMBCO wine | 1 |
| #2425 | CRIMBCOIDS mints | 1 |
| #535 | CRIMBCOLOAF | 6 |
| #1351 | Crimbo candied pecan | 1 |
| #1381 | Crimbo fudge | 1 |
| #1366 | Crimbo peppermint bark | 1 |
| #272 | Crimbo ukulele | 1 |
| #184 | Duskwalker syringe | 1 |
| #392 | FDKOL commendation | 743 |
| #30 | FDKOL fire hose | 1 |
| #251 | FDKOL hotcakes | 14 |
| #1007 | Feng Shui for Big Dumb Idiots | 1 |
| #69 | Gnomish toolbox | 1 |
| #515 | Kissin' Cousins | 2 |
| #628 | Knob Goblin lunchbox | 1 |
| #476 | Mad Train wine | 200 |
| #851 | Maxing, Relaxing | 1 |
| #172 | Mer-kin foodbucket | 1 |
| #46 | Mer-kin lunchbox | 1 |
| #887 | Penultimate Fantasy chest | 1 |
| #132 | Psychotic Train wine | 2 |
| #74 | Really Expensive Jewelry and You | 2 |
| #1452 | St. Sneaky Pete's Day goodies basket | 1 |
| #938 | Tales from the Fireside | 1 |
| #951 | Tales of a Kansas Toymaker | 1 |
| #683 | The Autobiography Of Dynamite Superman Jones | 1 |
| #852 | The Big Book of Pirate Insults | 1 |
| #697 | The Joy of Wassailing | 3 |
| #124 | Thinknerd Blind-Packed Toy | 1 |
| #936 | Travels with Jerry | 1 |
| #771 | Workytime Tea | 1 |
| 🥈 | anniversary balsa wood socks | 1 |
| 🥇 | anniversary burlap belt | 1 |
| #227 | anniversary chutney sculpture | 1 |
| 🥈 | anniversary concrete fedora | 1 |
| 🥈 | anniversary pewter cape | 1 |
| 🥈 | anniversary safety glass vest | 1 |
| 🥈 | anniversary tiny latex mask | 1 |
| #769 | aspirin | 1 |
| #1920 | awful poetry journal | 1 |
| #517 | bacon bath ball | 1 |
| #1110 | baggie of powdered sugar | 2 |
| #197 | bartender-in-the-box | 1 |
| #1660 | battered Crimbo Crate | 1 |
| #967 | beer bomb | 1 |
| #571 | beer bong | 1 |
| #671 | beer helmet | 1 |
| #1063 | bell-shaped Crimbo cookie | 1 |
| #461 | black picnic basket | 1 |
| #518 | blind-packed capsule toy | 1 |
| #393 | blind-packed die-cast metal toy | 1 |
| #751 | booty chest charrrm | 1 |
| #105 | booty chest charrrm bracelet | 1 |
| #954 | bottle of Blank-Out | 1 |
| #226 | bottle of fire | 32 |
| #1054 | box | 1 |
| #334 | box of Dweebs | 1 |
| #134 | box of Familiar Jacks | 1 |
| #204 | box of Pokëmann band-aids | 1 |
| #74 | box of hammers | 1 |
| #230 | box turtle | 1 |
| #92 | box-in-the-box | 1 |
| #180 | box-in-the-box-in-the-box | 1 |
| #364 | boxed champagne | 1 |
| #1335 | boxed wine | 1 |
| #242 | boxing glove | 1 |
| #66 | boxing glove on a spring | 1 |
| 🥇 | bucket of anniversary lard | 1 |
| #80 | cardboard box turtle | 1 |
| #235 | chef-in-the-box | 1 |
| #110 | chef-skull-in-the-box | 1 |
| #502 | chocolate bath ball | 1 |
| #153 | cigar box turtle | 1 |
| #97 | crate of firebombs | 1 |
| #100 | creepy voice box | 1 |
| #1852 | disturbing fanfic | 1 |
| #1640 | doll house | 1 |
| #656 | donkey flipbook | 1 |
| #241 | droll monocle | 1 |
| #304 | drop of water-37 | 11 |
| #1476 | duck-on-a-string | 1 |
| #46 | dude ranch souvenir crate | 1 |
| #38 | dungeon dragon chest | 1 |
| #1576 | dusty Crimbo crate | 1 |
| #1910 | elven suicide capsule | 1 |
| #2521 | fancy chocolate | 1 |
| #82 | fireman's helmet | 1 |
| #152 | fruit basket | 1 |
| #196 | gilded ancient cursed chest | 1 |
| #116 | glowing syringe | 1 |
| #1241 | herb brownies | 1 |
| #247 | huge bowl of candy | 1 |
| #180 | imitation crab crate | 1 |
| #454 | intriguing puzzle box | 1 |
| #43 | jar of anniversary jam | 1 |
| #41 | jingle bell | 1 |
| #418 | keg shield | 2 |
| #632 | large box | 1 |
| #70 | mama's squeezebox | 1 |
| #188 | minin' dynamite | 1 |
| #25 | miniscule beatbox | 1 |
| #453 | molten brick | 1 |
| #1340 | motivational poster | 1 |
| #248 | myrrh-soaked, chocolate-covered bacon bath ball | 1 |
| #262 | nothing-in-the-box | 1 |
| #56 | nothing-in-the-box-in-the-box | 1 |
| #865 | oriole-feather headdress | 1 |
| #191 | ornate ancient cursed chest | 1 |
| #1889 | oyster basket | 1 |
| #1215 | paperclip | 1 |
| #141 | paperclip sproinger | 1 |
| #806 | party hat | 1 |
| #502 | pog #01 (spider) | 1 |
| #484 | pog #02 (Knob goblin) | 1 |
| #481 | pog #03 (warwelf) | 1 |
| #482 | pog #04 (skleleton) | 1 |
| #502 | pog #05 (ninja snowman) | 1 |
| #488 | pog #06 (filthy hippy) | 1 |
| #494 | pog #07 (orcish frat boy) | 1 |
| #495 | pog #08 (hellion) | 1 |
| #492 | pog #09 (pirate) | 1 |
| #513 | pog #10 (hobo) | 1 |
| #499 | pog #11 (Naughty Sorceress) | 1 |
| #1023 | portable photocopier | 1 |
| #64 | potion of the litterbox | 1 |
| #161 | red box | 1 |
| #182 | returned Thinknerd package | 1 |
| #535 | rum barrel charrrm | 1 |
| #76 | rum barrel charrrm bracelet | 1 |
| #49 | ski resort souvenir crate | 1 |
| #82 | slimy chest | 1 |
| #589 | small box | 1 |
| #406 | smoking grass | 61 |
| #235 | smut orc keepsake box | 1 |
| #1347 | sock monkey | 1 |
| #270 | space jam | 1 |
| #106 | spandex anniversary shorts | 1 |
| #140 | spooky rattling cigar box | 1 |
| #49 | stomp box | 1 |
| #185 | studded leather boxer shorts | 1 |
| #1710 | sturdy Crimbo crate | 1 |
| #1224 | sunken chest | 1 |
| #207 | superamplified boom box | 1 |
| #322 | tasket | 1 |
| #384 | tiny plastic Best Game Ever | 1 |
| #445 | tiny plastic CRIMBCO HQ | 1 |
| #3080 | tiny plastic Crimbo elf | 2 |
| #2896 | tiny plastic Crimbo reindeer | 2 |
| #1747 | tiny plastic Crimbo wreath | 2 |
| #1550 | tiny plastic Crimboween pentagram | 1 |
| #403 | tiny plastic Mr. Mination | 1 |
| #1531 | tiny plastic Scream Queen | 1 |
| #2829 | tiny plastic Trouser Snake | 2 |
| #2947 | tiny plastic Uncle Crimbo | 1 |
| #1732 | tiny plastic ancient yuletide troll | 1 |
| #427 | tiny plastic fax machine | 1 |
| #1738 | tiny plastic gift-wrapping vampire | 1 |
| #427 | tiny plastic hobo elf | 1 |
| #2824 | tiny plastic lemon-in-the-box | 2 |
| #1558 | tiny plastic skeletal reindeer | 1 |
| #2893 | tiny plastic sweet nutcracker | 2 |
| #266 | tiny slimy cyst | 1 |
| #265 | tisket | 1 |
| #265 | toe jam | 1 |
| #1190 | toy soldier | 1 |
| #269 | traffic jam | 1 |
| #1037 | tree-shaped Crimbo cookie | 1 |
| #44 | tropical island souvenir crate | 1 |
| #600 | tropical paperweight | 1 |
| #680 | tropical wrapping paper | 2 |
| #172 | twitching time capsule | 1 |
| #940 | water pipe bomb | 1 |
| #151 | waterlogged crate | 1 |
| #1042 | wreath-shaped Crimbo cookie | 1 |
| #2364 | yo-yo | 1 |
| #79 | zombie dinosaur egg | 1 |