| #774 | 'WILL WORK FOR BOOZE' sign | 1 |
| #92 | 4:20 bomb | 1 |
| #684 | BGE 'cuddly critter' shirt | 1 |
| #733 | BGE 'ferocious fruit' shirt | 1 |
| #746 | BGE merchandise order form | 3 |
| #1378 | BGE shotglass | 3 |
| #634 | BGE tiny plastic toy | 2 |
| #811 | Blizzards I Have Died In | 1 |
| #1502 | Bulky Buddy Box | 1 |
| #583 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 1) | 2 |
| #481 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 2) | 2 |
| #509 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 3) | 2 |
| #468 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 4) | 2 |
| #476 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 5) | 2 |
| #529 | CRIMBCO lanyard | 1 |
| #1762 | CRIMBCO mug | 2 |
| #259 | CRIMBCO scrip | 1,365 |
| #1937 | CRIMBCO wine | 1 |
| #2422 | CRIMBCOIDS mints | 1 |
| #533 | CRIMBCOLOAF | 6 |
| #1348 | Crimbo candied pecan | 1 |
| #1379 | Crimbo fudge | 1 |
| #1363 | Crimbo peppermint bark | 1 |
| #272 | Crimbo ukulele | 1 |
| #183 | Duskwalker syringe | 1 |
| #392 | FDKOL commendation | 743 |
| #30 | FDKOL fire hose | 1 |
| #251 | FDKOL hotcakes | 14 |
| #1004 | Feng Shui for Big Dumb Idiots | 1 |
| #69 | Gnomish toolbox | 1 |
| #515 | Kissin' Cousins | 2 |
| #628 | Knob Goblin lunchbox | 1 |
| #473 | Mad Train wine | 200 |
| #849 | Maxing, Relaxing | 1 |
| #172 | Mer-kin foodbucket | 1 |
| #46 | Mer-kin lunchbox | 1 |
| #886 | Penultimate Fantasy chest | 1 |
| #130 | Psychotic Train wine | 2 |
| #74 | Really Expensive Jewelry and You | 2 |
| #1450 | St. Sneaky Pete's Day goodies basket | 1 |
| #938 | Tales from the Fireside | 1 |
| #951 | Tales of a Kansas Toymaker | 1 |
| #681 | The Autobiography Of Dynamite Superman Jones | 1 |
| #851 | The Big Book of Pirate Insults | 1 |
| #697 | The Joy of Wassailing | 3 |
| #121 | Thinknerd Blind-Packed Toy | 1 |
| #931 | Travels with Jerry | 1 |
| #776 | Workytime Tea | 1 |
| 🥈 | anniversary balsa wood socks | 1 |
| 🥇 | anniversary burlap belt | 1 |
| #227 | anniversary chutney sculpture | 1 |
| 🥈 | anniversary concrete fedora | 1 |
| 🥈 | anniversary pewter cape | 1 |
| 🥈 | anniversary safety glass vest | 1 |
| 🥈 | anniversary tiny latex mask | 1 |
| #769 | aspirin | 1 |
| #1924 | awful poetry journal | 1 |
| #519 | bacon bath ball | 1 |
| #1111 | baggie of powdered sugar | 2 |
| #198 | bartender-in-the-box | 1 |
| #1661 | battered Crimbo Crate | 1 |
| #965 | beer bomb | 1 |
| #569 | beer bong | 1 |
| #668 | beer helmet | 1 |
| #1062 | bell-shaped Crimbo cookie | 1 |
| #461 | black picnic basket | 1 |
| #517 | blind-packed capsule toy | 1 |
| #394 | blind-packed die-cast metal toy | 1 |
| #751 | booty chest charrrm | 1 |
| #104 | booty chest charrrm bracelet | 1 |
| #954 | bottle of Blank-Out | 1 |
| #225 | bottle of fire | 32 |
| #1059 | box | 1 |
| #335 | box of Dweebs | 1 |
| #130 | box of Familiar Jacks | 1 |
| #204 | box of Pokëmann band-aids | 1 |
| #74 | box of hammers | 1 |
| #230 | box turtle | 1 |
| #92 | box-in-the-box | 1 |
| #181 | box-in-the-box-in-the-box | 1 |
| #362 | boxed champagne | 1 |
| #1335 | boxed wine | 1 |
| #243 | boxing glove | 1 |
| #66 | boxing glove on a spring | 1 |
| 🥇 | bucket of anniversary lard | 1 |
| #80 | cardboard box turtle | 1 |
| #234 | chef-in-the-box | 1 |
| #110 | chef-skull-in-the-box | 1 |
| #504 | chocolate bath ball | 1 |
| #151 | cigar box turtle | 1 |
| #96 | crate of firebombs | 1 |
| #100 | creepy voice box | 1 |
| #1854 | disturbing fanfic | 1 |
| #1638 | doll house | 1 |
| #655 | donkey flipbook | 1 |
| #240 | droll monocle | 1 |
| #305 | drop of water-37 | 11 |
| #1475 | duck-on-a-string | 1 |
| #46 | dude ranch souvenir crate | 1 |
| #38 | dungeon dragon chest | 1 |
| #1578 | dusty Crimbo crate | 1 |
| #1910 | elven suicide capsule | 1 |
| #2520 | fancy chocolate | 1 |
| #81 | fireman's helmet | 1 |
| #152 | fruit basket | 1 |
| #195 | gilded ancient cursed chest | 1 |
| #116 | glowing syringe | 1 |
| #1241 | herb brownies | 1 |
| #245 | huge bowl of candy | 1 |
| #179 | imitation crab crate | 1 |
| #453 | intriguing puzzle box | 1 |
| #43 | jar of anniversary jam | 1 |
| #41 | jingle bell | 1 |
| #417 | keg shield | 2 |
| #633 | large box | 1 |
| #69 | mama's squeezebox | 1 |
| #185 | minin' dynamite | 1 |
| #25 | miniscule beatbox | 1 |
| #452 | molten brick | 1 |
| #1344 | motivational poster | 1 |
| #250 | myrrh-soaked, chocolate-covered bacon bath ball | 1 |
| #263 | nothing-in-the-box | 1 |
| #56 | nothing-in-the-box-in-the-box | 1 |
| #865 | oriole-feather headdress | 1 |
| #191 | ornate ancient cursed chest | 1 |
| #1886 | oyster basket | 1 |
| #1215 | paperclip | 1 |
| #141 | paperclip sproinger | 1 |
| #808 | party hat | 1 |
| #501 | pog #01 (spider) | 1 |
| #484 | pog #02 (Knob goblin) | 1 |
| #479 | pog #03 (warwelf) | 1 |
| #483 | pog #04 (skleleton) | 1 |
| #502 | pog #05 (ninja snowman) | 1 |
| #488 | pog #06 (filthy hippy) | 1 |
| #493 | pog #07 (orcish frat boy) | 1 |
| #494 | pog #08 (hellion) | 1 |
| #492 | pog #09 (pirate) | 1 |
| #512 | pog #10 (hobo) | 1 |
| #498 | pog #11 (Naughty Sorceress) | 1 |
| #1026 | portable photocopier | 1 |
| #66 | potion of the litterbox | 1 |
| #160 | red box | 1 |
| #179 | returned Thinknerd package | 1 |
| #535 | rum barrel charrrm | 1 |
| #76 | rum barrel charrrm bracelet | 1 |
| #49 | ski resort souvenir crate | 1 |
| #82 | slimy chest | 1 |
| #591 | small box | 1 |
| #406 | smoking grass | 61 |
| #233 | smut orc keepsake box | 1 |
| #1349 | sock monkey | 1 |
| #271 | space jam | 1 |
| #106 | spandex anniversary shorts | 1 |
| #140 | spooky rattling cigar box | 1 |
| #49 | stomp box | 1 |
| #184 | studded leather boxer shorts | 1 |
| #1711 | sturdy Crimbo crate | 1 |
| #1225 | sunken chest | 1 |
| #207 | superamplified boom box | 1 |
| #321 | tasket | 1 |
| #383 | tiny plastic Best Game Ever | 1 |
| #444 | tiny plastic CRIMBCO HQ | 1 |
| #3079 | tiny plastic Crimbo elf | 2 |
| #2896 | tiny plastic Crimbo reindeer | 2 |
| #1747 | tiny plastic Crimbo wreath | 2 |
| #1548 | tiny plastic Crimboween pentagram | 1 |
| #401 | tiny plastic Mr. Mination | 1 |
| #1530 | tiny plastic Scream Queen | 1 |
| #2828 | tiny plastic Trouser Snake | 2 |
| #2947 | tiny plastic Uncle Crimbo | 1 |
| #1731 | tiny plastic ancient yuletide troll | 1 |
| #425 | tiny plastic fax machine | 1 |
| #1736 | tiny plastic gift-wrapping vampire | 1 |
| #426 | tiny plastic hobo elf | 1 |
| #2822 | tiny plastic lemon-in-the-box | 2 |
| #1557 | tiny plastic skeletal reindeer | 1 |
| #2892 | tiny plastic sweet nutcracker | 2 |
| #266 | tiny slimy cyst | 1 |
| #263 | tisket | 1 |
| #266 | toe jam | 1 |
| #1190 | toy soldier | 1 |
| #270 | traffic jam | 1 |
| #1037 | tree-shaped Crimbo cookie | 1 |
| #43 | tropical island souvenir crate | 1 |
| #601 | tropical paperweight | 1 |
| #681 | tropical wrapping paper | 2 |
| #164 | twitching time capsule | 1 |
| #937 | water pipe bomb | 1 |
| #150 | waterlogged crate | 1 |
| #1041 | wreath-shaped Crimbo cookie | 1 |
| #2364 | yo-yo | 1 |
| #74 | zombie dinosaur egg | 1 |