| #108 | 1,970 carat gold | 3 |
| #35 | 1952 Mickey Mantle card | 317 |
| #4 | 5-hour acrimony | 6,336 |
| 🥈 | Abuela Crimbo's special magnet | 1 |
| 🥇 | Alewife™ Ale | 6,452 |
| 🥈 | All-Hallow's Steve's fright wig | 1 |
| #1217 | Argarggagarg's fang | 1 |
| #4 | Arrow (+1) | 3,001 |
| #438 | Atomic Comic | 1 |
| #11 | AutumnFest ale | 643 |
| #7 | Azurite | 2,514 |
| #4298 | Baron von Ratsworth's monocle | 1 |
| #154 | Beach Buck | 8 |
| #880 | Biddy Cracker's Old-Fashioned Cookbook | 1 |
| #812 | Blizzards I Have Died In | 1 |
| 🥉 | Blood Light | 829 |
| #93 | Booke of Vampyric Knowledge | 2 |
| #481 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 2) | 2 |
| #1054 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 3) | 1 |
| #1020 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 4) | 1 |
| #1009 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 5) | 1 |
| #96 | CSA discount card | 91 |
| 🥈 | CSA obedience grenade | 10,000 |
| #31 | Carpathian longsword | 79 |
| #54 | Celsius 233 | 1 |
| #4 | Cheer-Up soda | 1,000 |
| #264 | Cherry Cloaca Cola | 4 |
| #145 | Chorale of Companionship | 1 |
| #582 | Chroner | 1 |
| #288 | Cinco Mayo Lager | 1 |
| #67 | Cocktails of the Age of Sail | 1 |
| #16 | Coinspiracy | 4,380 |
| #51 | Cold One | 44 |
| 🥈 | Conspiracy™ mascara | 4 |
| 🥉 | Crazymaker | 262 |
| 🥇 | Crepes a la Lune | 420 |
| #153 | Crimbo Candy Cookbook | 31 |
| #416 | Crimbo Factory surprise box | 1 |
| #75 | Crimbuccaneer breeches | 1 |
| #53 | Crimbuccaneer fledges (disintegrating) | 1 |
| #102 | Crimbuccaneer fledges (mint) | 1 |
| #72 | Crimbuccaneer flotsam | 136 |
| #72 | Crimbuccaneer invasion map | 1 |
| #18 | Crimbuccaneer nose ring | 3 |
| #252 | Crimbuccaneer piece of 12 | 2 |
| #84 | Crimbuccaneer premium booty sack | 1 |
| #46 | Crimbuccaneer runebone | 1 |
| #117 | Crimbuccaneer shirt | 1 |
| #78 | Crimbuccaneer tricorn | 1 |
| 🥇 | Crimbuccaneer war standard | 1 |
| #1956 | Crown of the Goblin King | 9 |
| #35 | Dad's brandy | 5 |
| #254 | Diet Cloaca Cola | 4 |
| 🥈 | Divine | 1,800 |
| 🥈 | Doc Clock's thyme cocktail | 130 |
| #26 | Doc's Fortifying Wine | 3 |
| #8 | Doc's Smartifying Wine | 42 |
| #1336 | Drowsy Sword | 8 |
| 🥇 | Dump Truck | 262 |
| 🥉 | Duskwalker syringe | 2,262 |
| 🥇 | Earth and Firewater | 376 |
| 🥈 | Earth, Wind and Firewater | 287 |
| 🥉 | Electric Punch | 57 |
| #429 | Elf Farm Raffle ticket | 4 |
| #20 | Elf Guard Field Manual: Culinary Arts | 5 |
| #12 | Elf Guard Field Manual: Extortion | 11 |
| #42 | Elf Guard Field Manual: Wilderness Sleeping | 2 |
| #12 | Elf Guard MPC | 11,202 |
| 🥉 | Elf Guard SCUBA tank | 14 |
| #40 | Elf Guard broom | 1 |
| #8 | Elf Guard clipboard | 6 |
| #82 | Elf Guard commandeering gloves | 1 |
| #47 | Elf Guard eyedrops | 10 |
| #7 | Elf Guard fuel tank | 7 |
| #59 | Elf Guard hangover cure | 1 |
| #11 | Elf Guard honor present | 24 |
| #53 | Elf Guard hotpants | 2 |
| #5 | Elf Guard insignia (general) | 14 |
| #90 | Elf Guard mouthknife | 1 |
| #93 | Elf Guard officer's sidearm | 1 |
| #80 | Elf Guard patrol cap | 1 |
| #40 | Elf Guard payroll bag | 12 |
| #31 | Elf Guard safety bear | 4 |
| #5 | Elf Guard squirtgun | 10 |
| #6 | Elf Guard strategic map | 13 |
| #5 | Elf Guard temporary (permanent) tattoo | 17 |
| #57 | Elf Guard tinsel grenade | 17 |
| 🥇 | Elf Guard war standard | 1 |
| #11 | Elvish underarmor | 5 |
| #7 | Eye Agate | 2,912 |
| #62 | FantasyRealm Mage's Hat | 22 |
| #94 | FantasyRealm Rogue's Mask | 10 |
| #21 | FantasyRealm Warrior's Helm | 313 |
| #4 | Feliz Navidad | 292 |
| #43 | Freddy Kruegerand | 404 |
| #12 | FunFunds™ | 8,210 |
| 🥈 | Game Grid ticket | 73,195 |
| 🥉 | Gathered Meat-Clip | 39,403 |
| 🥇 | Gnollish autoplunger | 15,000 |
| 🥇 | Go-Wassail | 51,391 |
| 🥇 | Gold Velvet™ whiskey | 2,587 |
| 🥈 | Gordon Bennett | 1,386 |
| #17 | Gummi-DNA | 221 |
| #19 | Gummi-Gnauga | 640 |
| #18 | Guzzlr cocktail set | 87 |
| #17 | Guzzlrbuck | 207 |
| 🥈 | Handsome Devil | 2,500 |
| 🥇 | Hawking's Elixir of Brilliance | 42,000 |
| #1138 | Heimandatz's heart | 1 |
| #5 | Hell and How I Bent It | 1 |
| 🥈 | Hide-rox™ cookie | 119 |
| #5 | History's Most Offensive Jokes, Vol. IX | 1 |
| 🥉 | Hundred Headed IPA | 110 |
| #984 | Instant Karma | 2 |
| #1670 | Iron Beta of Industry | 1 |
| #73 | Jack-O-Lantern beer | 3 |
| #8 | Kelflar vest | 32 |
| #836 | Kissin' Cousins | 1 |
| #47 | LOV Elephant | 1 |
| #13 | LOV Entrance Pass | 3 |
| #15 | LOV Extraterrestrial Chocolate | 62 |
| #8 | Lapis Lazuli | 2,835 |
| 🥉 | Lazybones™ recliner | 68 |
| #40 | Lil' Snowball Factory | 6 |
| #2010 | Lord Spookyraven's ear trumpet | 8 |
| 🥉 | Loudmouth Larry Lamprey | 13,134 |
| #56 | Mae West with a fly in it | 7 |
| #12 | Manual of Lock Picking | 4 |
| #847 | Maxing, Relaxing | 1 |
| 🥇 | Mer-kin cancerstick | 380 |
| #9 | Merc Core Field Manual: Intimidation Techniques | 1 |
| 🥉 | Merc Core Field Manual: Sanity Maintenance | 2 |
| #13 | Meteorite-Ade | 374 |
| #18 | Middle of the Road™ brand whiskey | 756 |
| 🥇 | Moonthril Schnapps | 420 |
| #5 | Mr. Burnsger | 94 |
| #15 | Mt. McLargeHuge oyster | 372 |
| #79 | My First Art of War | 9 |
| #129 | Mysterious Blue Box | 4 |
| #154 | Mysterious Green Box | 1 |
| #140 | Mysterious Red Box | 2 |
| #5 | Napalm In The Morning™ candle | 152 |
| 🥉 | Neuromancer | 2,371 |
| #14 | Neverending Party favor | 128 |
| 🥈 | New Age healing crystal | 350,347 |
| 🥇 | New Age hurting crystal | 70,000 |
| #142 | New Zealand iced tea | 87 |
| 🥇 | O'RLY manual | 30,600 |
| 🥉 | Oopsie IPA | 4 |
| #20 | Orcish meat locker | 51 |
| #1595 | Pan-Dimensional Gargle Blaster | 2 |
| 🥉 | Party-in-a-Can™ | 98 |
| #13 | Peek-a-Boo! | 1 |
| #81 | Pocket Guide to Mild Evil | 1 |
| #140 | Professor What T-Shirt | 4 |
| #15 | Psycho From The Heat | 1 |
| 🥈 | Psychotic Train wine | 37,387 |
| 🥈 | Puffstone cigar | 28 |
| 🥈 | Ram's Face Lager | 143,271 |
| #41 | Red Roger's reliquary | 29 |
| #15 | Rubee™ | 5,356 |
| #32 | SMOOCH bottlecap | 3 |
| 🥇 | Saison du Lune | 1,420 |
| #8 | Salsa Caliente™ candle | 77 |
| 🥉 | Scent of a Human™ candle | 462 |
| #15 | Scratch-and-Sniff Guide to Dinseylandfill | 1 |
| #973 | Sensual Massage for Creeps | 1 |
| 🥇 | Silver Bullet beer | 2,006 |
| #5 | Skull Punch | 22 |
| 🥉 | Smuggler's Punch | 49 |
| #7 | Space Pirate Astrogation Handbook | 2 |
| #10 | Spacegate emergency disintegrator | 1 |
| 🥇 | Spaghetti with Moonballs | 420 |
| #19 | Spelunker of Fortune | 1 |
| 🥇 | Squat-Thrust Magazine | 101,500 |
| 🥇 | Stooper | 200 |
| #46 | Swizzler | 412 |
| #127 | Sword of Dark Omens | 3 |
| #48 | TRIO cup of beer | 3 |
| #592 | Tales from the Fireside | 2 |
| #12 | Tea, Earl Grey, Hot | 53 |
| #76 | Telltale™ rubber heart | 2 |
| #7 | The Beast Within™ candle | 116 |
| #82 | The Encyclopedia of Fruit | 1 |
| #12 | The Firegate Tapes | 1 |
| #44 | The Gingerbread Vigilante's Handbook | 1 |
| #85 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 1 | 1 |
| #80 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 2 | 1 |
| #77 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 3 | 1 |
| #49 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 4 | 2 |
| #53 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 5 | 2 |
| #77 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 6 | 1 |
| 🥈 | The Mad Liquor | 20 |
| #38 | The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 2 | 1 |
| #35 | The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 6 | 1 |
| #49 | The Nose Knows, A Guide to Smells | 1 |
| 🥇 | The Plumber's mushroom stew | 8 |
| 🥉 | The Western Look | 1 |
| #219 | Thinknerd T-shirt grab bag | 1 |
| #27 | Third Base | 8 |
| #25 | Thwaitgold listening bug statuette | 6 |
| #251 | Thwaitgold termite statuette | 44 |
| #126 | Time Bandit Time Towel | 1 |
| #16 | Time Cape | 1 |
| #10 | To Build an Igloo | 1 |
| #19 | Trash, a Memoir | 1 |
| #417 | Travels with Jerry | 3 |
| #28 | Trout Fishing in Loathing | 1 |
| 🥈 | Twelve Night Energy | 452 |
| #42 | Twitching Television Tattoo | 1 |
| #26 | Ultra Mega Sour Ball | 2 |
| #699 | Uncle Romulus | 1 |
| #32 | Unfortunato's foolscap | 80 |
| #2405 | Valentine | 1 |
| #32 | Vegetable of Jarlsberg | 1 |
| #15 | Volcoino | 579 |
| #700 | Warm Subject gift certificate | 19 |
| #71 | White Citadel burger | 60 |
| #151 | White Citadel fries | 10 |
| 🥇 | Xiblaxian residence-cube | 180 |
| #278 | Ye Wizard's Shack snack voucher | 1 |
| #29 | Yeg's Motel alarm clock | 7 |
| #14 | Yeg's Motel minibar key | 2 |
| #183 | Yellow Moon of Compassion | 15 |
| #29 | Yorick | 1 |
| 🥇 | agua de vida | 10,000 |
| #8 | alien animal milk | 1 |
| #7 | alien plant pod | 1 |
| #128 | all-purpose flower | 1 |
| #24 | ancient Elf dessert spoon | 2 |
| #147 | ancient oil painting of yourself | 1 |
| #4 | ancient redwood | 1 |
| #9 | ancient vinyl coin purse | 6,315 |
| #227 | anniversary chutney sculpture | 1 |
| #1455 | anniversary gift box | 3 |
| #734 | antique 8-Bit Power magazine | 1 |
| #926 | antique record album | 1 |
| #14 | artisanal homebrew sampler | 2 |
| #4 | asbestos ore | 6,052 |
| #8 | autumn breeze | 586 |
| #7 | autumn years wisdom | 634 |
| #10 | autumn-spice donut | 894 |
| #10 | backwoods screwdriver | 639 |
| #276 | baconstone | 28 |
| #78 | bag of park garbage | 484 |
| #22 | bag of sausage links | 3 |
| #10 | banana candle | 294 |
| 🥇 | bark rootbeer | 507 |
| #13 | barnacle-encrusted sweater | 11 |
| 🥇 | barrel-aged martini | 18,763 |
| #139 | batskin belt | 9 |
| #32 | bauxite beret | 14 |
| #20 | bauxite bow-tie | 18 |
| #21 | bauxite boxers | 17 |
| #23 | beer bong | 230 |
| #137 | beer helmet | 62 |
| 🥈 | beet-flavored Mr. Mediocrebar | 375 |
| 🥈 | berry-infused sake | 461 |
| #7 | big hot pepper | 345 |
| #92 | birthday party jellybean cheesecake | 1 |
| #158 | black pension check | 59 |
| #206 | black picnic basket | 9 |
| #8 | blank diary | 11 |
| #13 | blended frozen swill with a fly in it | 19 |
| #17 | blood kiwi | 1 |
| #76 | blue raspberry troll doll | 1 |
| #33 | body spradium | 12 |
| #54 | bone abacus | 26 |
| #10 | booze bindle | 539 |
| #179 | borrowed time | 1 |
| 🥇 | bottle of Amontillado | 17,576 |
| #20 | bottle of Bloodweiser | 11 |
| #162 | bottle of Crimbognac | 1 |
| #7 | bottle of Evermore | 1,963 |
| #10 | bottle of Fishhead 900-Day IPA | 12 |
| 🥉 | bottle of Greedy Dog | 54 |
| 🥉 | bottle of Lambada Lambic | 27 |
| 🥈 | bottle of Lieutenant Freeman | 7,607 |
| 🥉 | bottle of Old Pugilist | 109 |
| 🥉 | bottle of Professor Beer | 219 |
| 🥇 | bottle of Race Car Red | 126 |
| 🥇 | bottle of Rapier Witbier | 153 |
| #5 | bottle of anís | 31 |
| 🥇 | bottle of drinkin' gas | 823 |
| 🥇 | bottle of gin | 1,308,915 |
| 🥈 | bottle of norwhiskey | 14,056 |
| #18 | bottle of novelty hot sauce | 9 |
| #12 | bottle of rum | 23,641 |
| #6 | bottle of sea wine | 7,792 |
| #5 | bottle of tequila | 64,057 |
| #18 | bottle of vodka | 8,682 |
| #8 | bottle of whiskey | 26,080 |
| #9 | bottle of wine | 534 |
| #43 | bottled day | 5 |
| #11 | bowl of cottage cheese | 8,580 |
| #13 | bowl of topioca | 26 |
| #2572 | box of sunshine | 40 |
| 🥇 | boxed wine | 404,090 |
| 🥈 | brain preservation fluid | 62 |
| #59 | breakfast mess | 251 |
| #65 | breakfast miracle | 5 |
| #19 | brick | 1,492 |
| #58 | briefcase | 388 |
| #5 | brigand brittle | 5,433 |
| #204 | brilliant oyster egg | 1 |
| #25 | broken El Vibrato drone | 1 |
| #14 | broken warbear gyrocopter | 25 |
| #57 | brown pirate pants | 1 |
| #16 | bubblewrap ore | 1,169 |
| 🥇 | bucket of anniversary lard | 1 |
| #63 | buffalo dime | 3 |
| #235 | cabooze | 3 |
| #247 | calle de miel with a fly in it | 1 |
| 🥇 | can of Brütalbräu | 2,869 |
| 🥇 | can of Drooling Monk | 2,801 |
| 🥇 | can of Impetuous Scofflaw | 2,885 |
| #154 | can of V-11 | 3 |
| #23 | can of sardines | 207 |
| 🥇 | can of the cheapest beer | 417 |
| #399 | can-shaped gelatinous cranberry sauce | 23 |
| #675 | candied yams | 13 |
| #29 | candy cane | 2,121 |
| #27 | candy stake | 304 |
| #73 | canopic jar | 236 |
| #12 | cardboard ore | 1,204 |
| #96 | caustic slime nodule | 4 |
| #98 | chaos popcorn | 2 |
| #12 | cheap Chinese beer | 109 |
| #289 | chocolate cigar | 6 |
| #5 | chocolate covered ping-pong ball | 681 |
| #98 | chocomotive | 7 |
| 🥉 | chocotini | 167 |
| #4 | chrome ore | 5,996 |
| #68 | cinnamon troll doll | 1 |
| #21 | circle drum | 1 |
| 🥇 | citrus-infused sake | 335 |
| #8 | cloning kit | 426 |
| #7 | clown hammer | 1,799 |
| #22 | coffee pixie stick | 19 |
| #23 | cold mashed potatoes | 200 |
| 🥇 | colossal free-range mushroom | 122 |
| #252 | comfy pillow | 1 |
| #418 | commemorative war stein | 32 |
| #23 | cop dollar | 8,062 |
| 🥇 | crayon shavings | 15,000 |
| 🥇 | cuckoo clock | 77 |
| #376 | cursed piece of thirteen | 1 |
| #73 | cute meteoroid | 1 |
| #6 | day shortener | 1 |
| 🥇 | day-old beer | 1,000,500 |
| #61 | deactivated mini-Trainbot | 3 |
| #12 | decomposed boot | 678 |
| #505 | depleted Grimacite kneecapping stick | 1 |
| #7 | designer handbag | 149 |
| #18 | deviled egg | 136 |
| 🥇 | diabolic pizza cube | 1 |
| #272 | digital key lime pie | 2 |
| #24 | dinner roll | 104 |
| #10 | distilled fortified wine | 568 |
| #17 | dollar-sign bag | 780 |
| #6 | drink chit | 1,993 |
| #37 | droppable microphone | 2 |
| #17 | dry cleaning receipt | 151 |
| #25 | duct tape wallet | 252 |
| #85 | dungeoneering kit | 9 |
| #583 | dusty bottle of Marsala | 14 |
| #645 | dusty bottle of Merlot | 11 |
| #559 | dusty bottle of Muscat | 15 |
| #554 | dusty bottle of Pinot Noir | 16 |
| #626 | dusty bottle of Port | 12 |
| #533 | dusty bottle of Zinfandel | 17 |
| 🥇 | dusty bottle of blood | 84 |
| #8 | ear candle | 300 |
| #16 | eau de mort | 5 |
| #26 | eggman noodles | 13 |
| #54 | eggwater | 6 |
| #6 | eldritch effluvium | 83,485 |
| 🥇 | eldritch mushroom pizza | 112 |
| 🥇 | elemental caipiroska | 161,509 |
| #8 | elevenderizing hammer | 1 |
| #36 | elf army field rations | 2 |
| 🥈 | elven squeeze | 18,596 |
| #9 | embezzler's oil | 60,247 |
| #472 | empty agua de vida bottle | 343 |
| 🥈 | empty hourglass | 1 |
| #1473 | enchanted leopard-print barbell | 2 |
| #205 | encoder ring | 97 |
| #6 | energized spores | 348 |
| #8 | etched hourglass | 1 |
| 🥇 | everfull glass | 122 |
| #33 | excitement pill | 4 |
| #5 | expired MRE | 114 |
| #86 | explosion-flavored chewing gum | 276 |
| #10 | extra time | 1 |
| 🥈 | extremely slippery nipple | 270 |
| #175 | faded green protest sign | 1 |
| #144 | faded red protest sign | 1 |
| #6 | fake fake vomit | 3,286 |
| 🥉 | fake hand | 14,372 |
| #137 | fancy beef jerky | 1 |
| #14 | fancy chocolate sculpture | 4 |
| #133 | fat loot token | 30 |
| #43 | fat stacks of cash | 1,194 |
| #6 | fat wallet | 2,261 |
| 🥉 | filled mosquito | 5,200 |
| #634 | filth-encrusted futon | 1 |
| #7 | fire-roasted lake trout | 182 |
| 🥈 | foam dart | 13,527 |
| #16 | foon | 180 |
| #42 | freightcake | 10 |
| #18 | fried air | 498 |
| #1439 | friendly cheez blob | 1 |
| #13 | frigid air mattress | 30 |
| #22 | fudge spork | 26 |
| #121 | fudge-shaped hole in space-time | 1 |
| #496 | fuzzy busby | 3 |
| #374 | fuzzy earmuffs | 4 |
| #417 | fuzzy montera | 3 |
| #7 | garbage juice slurpee | 44,651 |
| #323 | ghost of a necklace | 8 |
| #92 | ghost pepper | 1 |
| 🥈 | giant green gummi bear | 876 |
| 🥈 | giant green gummi ingot | 1,662 |
| 🥉 | giant red gummi bear | 1,310 |
| 🥇 | giant red gummi ingot | 1,013 |
| 🥈 | giant yellow gummi bear | 833 |
| 🥇 | giant yellow gummi ingot | 2,006 |
| #25 | gift card | 38 |
| 🥇 | gimlet | 1,799 |
| #99 | gingerbread nylons | 2 |
| 🥇 | gingerbread wine | 1,626 |
| 🥈 | ginormous pumpkin | 188 |
| #22 | glass of raw eggs | 63 |
| 🥈 | glass of warm water | 2,200 |
| #207 | gleaming oyster egg | 1 |
| #217 | glistening oyster egg | 1 |
| 🥇 | glowing syringe | 984 |
| #8 | gob of wet hair | 10,936 |
| #11 | gold Boozehounds Anonymous token | 164 |
| #112 | gold crown | 10 |
| #366 | gold wedding ring | 14 |
| #12 | government per-diem | 539 |
| #25 | government requisition form | 164 |
| #70 | grape troll doll | 1 |
| 🥈 | green drunki-bear | 3,116 |
| 🥉 | green gummi ingot | 8,901 |
| #45 | green slime glob | 24 |
| #93 | grog nuts | 1 |
| #17 | groggipop | 5 |
| #19 | grubby wool | 17 |
| #4 | guilty sprout | 669 |
| 🥈 | gummi canary | 6,742 |
| 🥇 | gummi salamander | 12,022 |
| 🥇 | gummi snake | 5,723 |
| #48 | gummi turtle | 53 |
| #30 | gunwale | 1 |
| #23 | gym membership card | 113 |
| #24 | half of a gold tooth | 703 |
| #287 | hamethyst | 27 |
| #21 | hamlet sandwich | 766 |
| #1987 | handful of confetti | 17 |
| #71 | handful of tips | 19 |
| #26 | haunted bindle | 143 |
| #5 | haunted gimlet | 257 |
| #3379 | heart necklace | 1 |
| #1667 | heart of the volcano | 1 |
| #415 | herbal stuffing | 19 |
| 🥈 | high-calorie sugar substitute | 12,871 |
| 🥈 | hobo fortress blueprints | 27 |
| #321 | hobo nickel | 904 |
| #9 | hollow rock | 168 |
| 🥉 | honey-drenched ham slice | 3,009 |
| #5 | hot buttered roll | 8,042 |
| 🥉 | hourglass | 1 |
| 🥉 | housekeeping automa-core | 31 |
| #4 | huge Crimbo cookie | 144 |
| #30 | huge gold coin | 780 |
| 🥇 | huge pumpkin | 356 |
| #25 | iShield | 1 |
| 🥇 | ice house | 620 |
| #94 | ice-cold six-pack | 205 |
| 🥇 | insanely spicy enchanted bean burrito | 50,000 |
| #11 | irradiated candy cane | 351 |
| #43 | jar of anniversary jam | 1 |
| #1860 | jawbruiser | 1 |
| #315 | jazz soap | 94 |
| #5 | joybuzzer | 4,773 |
| #28 | leather bookmark | 139 |
| #180 | less-than-three-shaped box | 1 |
| #5 | linoleum ore | 6,207 |
| #4 | liquid bread | 187 |
| #202 | liquid shifting time weirdness | 1 |
| #107 | little box of fireworks | 1 |
| #60 | lost key | 73 |
| #34 | lucky-ish pill | 2 |
| #29 | lump of Brituminous coal | 1,461 |
| #357 | lump of diamond | 6 |
| #25 | lump of goofball ore | 35 |
| #4 | lunar isotope | 66,666 |
| #190 | lustrous oyster egg | 1 |
| 🥉 | magical ice cube with a fly in it | 5,047 |
| #266 | magical pony: Shutterfly | 6 |
| #203 | magnificent oyster egg | 1 |
| #6 | mandarina colada | 1,209 |
| #27 | mandarina colada with a fly in it | 13 |
| #13 | mangled finger | 66 |
| 🥉 | martiny | 555 |
| #24 | massive gemstone | 394 |
| #6 | massive wrench | 13 |
| #5 | meadeorite | 1,098 |
| #13 | meatball | 499 |
| 🥇 | melon-infused sake | 337 |
| #22 | metal meteoroid | 316 |
| #5 | meteoreo | 1,180 |
| #8 | milestone | 38 |
| #6 | military-grade peppermint oil | 137 |
| 🥈 | mini-martini | 8,164 |
| #119 | miniature coffin | 1 |
| #112 | mood ring | 125 |
| #19 | moon-amber | 2 |
| 🥉 | moreltini | 3,312 |
| 🥈 | mostly-empty bottle of cookie wine | 2,768 |
| #5 | mother's necklace | 546 |
| #123 | mummy wrapping | 235 |
| #50 | munchies pill | 23 |
| #57 | mutant arm | 1 |
| #169 | mysterious present | 1 |
| #598 | mysterious silver lapel pin | 1 |
| #48 | nanite-infested candy cane | 363 |
| #5 | natural magick candle | 280 |
| #17 | ninjammies | 1 |
| #5 | not-a-pipe | 908 |
| #63 | officer's nog | 8 |
| #30 | old coin purse | 1,128 |
| #28 | old leather wallet | 1,459 |
| #33 | orange slime glob | 30 |
| #191 | ornate ancient cursed chest | 1 |
| 🥇 | overpriced "imported" beer | 100,000 |
| #1489 | pail | 2 |
| #25 | party balloon | 18 |
| #26 | party beer bomb | 17 |
| #24 | pat of butter | 222 |
| #10 | peanut brittle shield | 243 |
| #238 | pearlescent oyster egg | 1 |
| #72 | pegfinger | 1 |
| #46 | peppermint bomb | 7 |
| #39 | peppermint sprout | 247 |
| #12 | peppermint tack | 98 |
| #29 | perfect ice cube | 240 |
| #13 | perfect mimosa | 102 |
| #80 | perfect paloma | 1 |
| #498 | petrified time | 1 |
| #29 | piece of driftwood | 4 |
| #33 | pile of gold coins | 715 |
| #184 | ping-pong ball | 2 |
| #23 | pink pony | 632 |
| 🥉 | piranha pollen | 3,200 |
| 🥈 | piscatini | 30 |
| 🥈 | pixel beer | 228 |
| #6 | pixel coin | 1,597 |
| 🥇 | pixel daiquiri | 1,002 |
| #19 | pixellated moneybag | 387 |
| #176 | plain candy cane | 3 |
| 🥈 | plain old beer | 100,000 |
| #4 | plain snowcone | 7,008 |
| #652 | pool cue | 5 |
| #491 | pork elf goodies sack | 13 |
| #1784 | porquoise | 2 |
| #7 | portable housekeeping robot | 1 |
| #6 | portable ping-pong table | 10 |
| #89 | portable steam unit | 1 |
| 🥉 | possessed sugar cube | 2,172 |
| #21 | post-holiday sale coupon | 137 |
| #92 | powdered toad horn | 3 |
| #36 | primitive candy cane | 6 |
| #27 | prussian cathouse with a fly in it | 13 |
| #5 | psychokinetic energy blob | 11,615 |
| #10 | pulled green taffy | 465 |
| #7 | pulled indigo taffy | 443 |
| #8 | pulled orange taffy | 4,398 |
| 🥉 | pulled red taffy | 4,482 |
| #10 | pulled violet taffy | 4,471 |
| #5 | pulled yellow taffy | 278 |
| #4 | pumpkin pie | 376 |
| #19 | punch-drunk punch | 94 |
| #53 | punching mirror | 1 |
| 🥉 | rack of dinosaur ribs | 510 |
| #4 | raffle prize box | 71 |
| #6 | rainbow glitter candle | 299 |
| #609 | really dense meat stack | 10 |
| #76 | really nice lump of coal | 1 |
| 🥇 | red ale | 424 |
| #60 | red box | 53 |
| 🥈 | red drunki-bear | 2,904 |
| #11 | red gummi ingot | 1,976 |
| #14 | replica Elf Guard medal | 3 |
| 🥈 | resolution: be stronger | 46,955 |
| 🥇 | rockin' wagon | 100,000 |
| 🥇 | roll in the hay | 100,000 |
| 🥉 | roll of meat | 464 |
| #13 | roll of toilet paper | 6,806 |
| 🥇 | rotting beefsteak | 3,697 |
| #374 | rubber emo roe | 85 |
| #169 | sand dollar | 90 |
| #4 | sandcastle | 126 |
| #1701 | sandwich of the gods | 2 |
| #13 | savings bond | 46 |
| #50 | sawed-off blunderbuss | 4 |
| 🥇 | scented massage oil | 2,900 |
| #205 | scintillating oyster egg | 1 |
| #5 | scotch on the rocks | 473 |
| #6 | scroll of protection from lycanthropes | 3,231 |
| #44 | security automa-core | 1 |
| #18 | sequin-encrusted sweater | 4 |
| #4 | shadow bread | 778 |
| #21 | shadow brick | 57 |
| #6 | shadow flame | 320 |
| #8 | shadow fluid | 212 |
| 🥉 | shadow glass | 161 |
| #7 | shadow hot dog | 13 |
| #54 | shadow ice | 1 |
| #10 | shadow pill | 10 |
| #5 | shadow sausage | 817 |
| #12 | shadow sinew | 191 |
| 🥈 | shadow skin | 841 |
| #54 | shadow stick | 1 |
| 🥇 | shadow venom | 735 |
| #368 | shimmering rainbow sand | 1 |
| #18 | shiny stones | 1,126 |
| #42 | shipwright's hammer | 7 |
| #4 | shot of wasp venom | 5,624 |
| 🥉 | shrapnel jelly donut | 174 |
| #61 | silent G | 1 |
| #147 | silent L | 1 |
| #241 | silent O | 1 |
| #24 | silent beret | 2 |
| #90 | silver cow skull | 1 |
| #217 | skull of the Bonerdagon | 5 |
| 🥇 | slap and tickle | 50,477 |
| #87 | slice of pizza | 76 |
| #206 | slime-soaked sweat gland | 1 |
| 🥇 | slip 'n' slide | 82,858 |
| #493 | smoking grass | 1 |
| #84 | smut orc keepsake box | 9 |
| 🥉 | snow fort | 34 |
| #16 | snow machine | 1 |
| #26 | snowball | 100 |
| #38 | solid gold jewel | 96 |
| #69 | solid shifting time weirdness | 1 |
| #6 | souvenir flag | 1 |
| #5 | space blanket | 164 |
| 🥈 | space chowder | 496 |
| #106 | spandex anniversary shorts | 1 |
| 🥇 | spice melange | 1,291 |
| #6 | spices | 82,530 |
| #10 | spirit mattress | 39 |
| #190 | spiritual candy cane | 2 |
| #19 | stained mattress | 46 |
| #14 | stolen meatpouch | 1,402 |
| #13 | styrofoam ore | 1,147 |
| #781 | sunken chest | 8 |
| #9 | super good fruit | 309 |
| 🥈 | sweet party mix | 528 |
| #43 | sweet-corn-flavored Mr. Mediocrebar | 13 |
| 🥇 | tangarita | 3,718 |
| #221 | tangarita with a fly in it | 1 |
| #120 | tankard of ale | 14 |
| #13 | teacher's pen | 123 |
| #5 | teflon ore | 1,186 |
| #21 | temporary X tattoos | 2 |
| #7 | teqiwila | 59 |
| #26 | the finger | 4 |
| 🥇 | throwing fork | 3,544 |
| 🥇 | throwing knife | 5,124 |
| 🥈 | throwing spoon | 4,775 |
| #124 | time halo | 1 |
| #44 | time helmet | 1 |
| #34 | time residue | 19 |
| #39 | time shuriken | 1 |
| #143 | time sword | 1 |
| #46 | time trousers | 1 |
| #163 | time's arrow | 1 |
| #164 | toast | 9,750 |
| 🥈 | tofu wonton | 826 |
| #331 | tofurkey gravy | 26 |
| #322 | tofurkey leg | 26 |
| #15 | tomato juice of powerful power | 1,300 |
| #1078 | towel | 5 |
| #68 | trick coin | 1 |
| #223 | tube of cranberry Go-Goo | 1 |
| #5 | twitching time capsule | 82 |
| #4 | ultimate wad | 1 |
| 🥇 | unfinished ice sculpture | 258 |
| #122 | unidentified jerky | 252 |
| #11 | unremarkable duffel bag | 748 |
| #66 | urinal cake | 724 |
| 🥇 | used beer | 10,000 |
| #81 | valuable coin | 9 |
| #11 | van key | 716 |
| #6 | velcro ore | 1,141 |
| #4 | velour valise | 1 |
| #5 | velour vambraces | 1 |
| #5 | velour vaqueros | 1 |
| #9 | velour veil | 1 |
| #8 | velour viscometer | 1 |
| #9 | velour voulge | 1 |
| 🥇 | vibrating mushroom | 1,057 |
| #5 | vinyl ore | 1,187 |
| #49 | viral video | 1 |
| #2536 | vitachoconutriment capsule | 3 |
| #22 | vodka stratocaster | 112 |
| #10 | void burger | 1,098 |
| #8 | void lager | 1,110 |
| 🥇 | void shard | 41 |
| #10 | void stone | 1,113 |
| #7 | votive of confidence | 266 |
| #189 | warbear LP-ROM burner | 1 |
| #186 | warbear auto-anvil | 1 |
| #188 | warbear chemistry lab | 1 |
| #297 | warbear empathy chip | 1 |
| #36 | warbear gyro | 15 |
| #12 | warbear gyrocopter | 51 |
| #195 | warbear high-efficiency still | 1 |
| #436 | warbear metalworking primer | 1 |
| #4 | water pipe bomb | 154,333 |
| #4 | wax pancake | 149 |
| 🥈 | weird gazelle steak | 2,106 |
| #35 | whalegun | 1 |
| #109 | whalesteak | 1 |
| #6 | whet stone | 40 |
| #783 | white lightning | 5 |
| #8 | white wine | 97 |
| #32 | whole turkey leg | 97 |
| #8 | whoopie cushion | 2,010 |
| #6 | wind-up chattering teeth | 1,917 |
| #36 | wooly loincloth | 1 |
| #7 | x-ray specs | 2,682 |
| #32 | yabba dabba doo rag | 1 |
| #4 | yam battery | 1 |
| #6 | yellow brick road | 735 |
| 🥇 | yellow drunki-bear | 3,777 |
| #15 | yellow gummi ingot | 1,378 |
| 🥈 | yellow pixel | 130,039 |
| #11 | yellow snowcone | 1,708 |