| #967 | A. W. O. L. commendation | 1 |
| #27 | Ax of L'rose | 1 |
| #684 | BGE 'cuddly critter' shirt | 1 |
| #733 | BGE 'ferocious fruit' shirt | 1 |
| #247 | BGE merchandise order form | 17 |
| #240 | BGE pocket calendar | 3 |
| #1448 | BGE shotglass | 1 |
| #675 | BGE temporary tattoo | 1 |
| #956 | BGE tiny plastic toy | 1 |
| #615 | Bash-Ōs boxtop | 1 |
| #456 | Better Than Cuddling Cake | 4 |
| #10 | Blatantly Canadian | 4,247 |
| #811 | Blizzards I Have Died In | 1 |
| #1117 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 1) | 1 |
| #1013 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 2) | 1 |
| #1054 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 3) | 1 |
| #1020 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 4) | 1 |
| #1009 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 5) | 1 |
| #529 | CRIMBCO lanyard | 1 |
| #371 | CRIMBCO mug | 36 |
| #212 | CRIMBCO wine | 36 |
| #362 | CRIMBCOIDS mints | 7 |
| #369 | CRIMBCOLOAF | 7 |
| #163 | Cerebral Cloche | 1 |
| #311 | Cerebral Crossbow | 1 |
| #188 | Cerebral Culottes | 1 |
| #1417 | Cloaca-Cola helmet | 1 |
| #1367 | Copper Alpha of Sincerity | 1 |
| #1479 | Crimbo Candy Cookbook | 1 |
| #650 | Crimbo wreath | 1 |
| #6 | Crimbomination Contraption | 1 |
| #94 | Crimbuck | 5,273 |
| #145 | Dickory Farms Gift Basket | 37 |
| #248 | Fudgie Roll | 1 |
| #678 | Happy Birthday, Claude! cake | 1 |
| #345 | Inigo's Incantation of Inspiration | 2 |
| #208 | Inndya trading card | 1 |
| #1110 | Iron Beta of Industry | 3 |
| #1061 | Let Me Be! | 1 |
| #260 | Mae West with a fly in it | 1 |
| #845 | Nickel Gamma of Frugality | 4 |
| #1266 | Orange Star of Sacrifice | 1 |
| #204 | Roo trading card | 1 |
| #974 | Sensual Massage for Creeps | 1 |
| #328 | Ultrasoldier Serum | 1 |
| #2404 | Valentine | 1 |
| #363 | a butt tuba | 1 |
| #109 | adhesive tape dolly | 1 |
| #1555 | adorable seal larva | 1 |
| #1017 | ammonite fossil | 1 |
| #1455 | anniversary gift box | 3 |
| #251 | antique painting of a landscape | 3 |
| #147 | apathetic lizardman doll | 1 |
| #380 | bacon bath ball | 2 |
| #250 | banana supersucker | 1 |
| #966 | bananagate | 1 |
| #93 | bananarama bangle | 1 |
| #72 | bark beret | 1 |
| #70 | bark boxers | 1 |
| #91 | bark bracelet | 1 |
| #109 | bath ball gift set | 37 |
| #1445 | battered Crimbo Crate | 2 |
| #975 | belemnite fossil | 1 |
| #702 | bindlestocking | 1 |
| #485 | bouquet of circular saw blades | 2 |
| #142 | bow staff | 1 |
| #150 | bowlegged pants | 1 |
| #134 | bowler | 1 |
| #1743 | box of sunshine | 90 |
| #247 | calle de miel with a fly in it | 1 |
| #1101 | can of CRIMBCOLA | 4 |
| #547 | can of fake snow | 1 |
| #1061 | candy kneecapping stick | 3 |
| #1032 | candy knuckles | 3 |
| #89 | charged magnet | 1 |
| #355 | chocolate bath ball | 2 |
| #1749 | circular CRIMBCOOKIE | 1 |
| #102 | clockwork hat | 1 |
| #101 | clockwork pants | 1 |
| #154 | clockwork trench coat | 1 |
| #508 | colored-light "necklace" | 1 |
| 🥉 | control crystal | 1 |
| #94 | crystallized memory | 3 |
| #385 | deluxe fax machine | 1 |
| 🥇 | detour shield | 1 |
| #129 | duct tape dockers | 1 |
| #93 | duct tape fedora | 1 |
| #232 | duct tape sword | 1 |
| #1578 | dusty Crimbo crate | 1 |
| #608 | elven cellocello | 28 |
| #1743 | elven suicide capsule | 6 |
| #199 | extra-large palm-frond toupee | 1 |
| #1752 | fancy chocolate car | 3 |
| #687 | festive sausage | 2 |
| #777 | figurine of a charred seal | 1 |
| #902 | figurine of a cold seal | 1 |
| #503 | figurine of a shadowy seal | 1 |
| #767 | figurine of a sleek seal | 1 |
| #586 | figurine of a slippery seal | 1 |
| #639 | figurine of a stinking seal | 1 |
| #421 | figurine of a wretched-looking seal | 1 |
| #150 | floaty gravel | 1 |
| #165 | floaty inverse geode | 1 |
| #143 | floaty pebbles | 3 |
| #70 | floaty sand | 311 |
| #98 | frozen seal spine | 1 |
| #378 | fudge bunny | 1 |
| #197 | fudge cube | 1 |
| #841 | fudge lily | 1 |
| #258 | fudge spork | 1 |
| #1412 | fudgecule | 1 |
| #176 | fudgecycle | 1 |
| #1638 | giant discarded bottlecap | 1 |
| #2409 | giant discarded plastic fork | 1 |
| #1517 | giant discarded torn-up glove | 1 |
| #234 | gift-a-pult | 2 |
| #610 | gingerbread house | 1 |
| #222 | grass blade | 1 |
| #71 | grass hat | 2 |
| #188 | grass skirt | 1 |
| #1794 | herringcello | 4 |
| #78 | hideous egg | 24 |
| #237 | incense bath ball | 4 |
| #897 | kumquartz | 1 |
| #84 | kumquartz ring | 1 |
| #249 | kumquat supersucker | 1 |
| #47 | leather aviator's cap | 1 |
| #91 | left half of a heart necklace | 5 |
| #178 | leftover Crimbo rations | 1 |
| #609 | lewd playing card | 3 |
| #202 | licorice garrote | 9 |
| #232 | lime supersucker | 1 |
| #58 | live lobster | 23 |
| #433 | long-stemmed rose | 2 |
| #7 | love song of sugary cuteness | 7,512 |
| #941 | magical ice cube with a fly in it | 23 |
| #245 | makeshift cape | 1 |
| #169 | makeshift skirt | 1 |
| #181 | makeshift turban | 1 |
| #235 | mandarina colada with a fly in it | 1 |
| #49 | mirrored aviator shades | 1 |
| #90 | motivational poster | 36 |
| #689 | mugcake | 1 |
| #250 | myrrh-soaked, chocolate-covered bacon bath ball | 1 |
| #656 | nanite-infested candy cane | 19 |
| #140 | pair of pearidot earrings | 1 |
| #187 | palm-frond capris | 1 |
| #396 | palm-frond toupee | 1 |
| #105 | paperclip cape | 1 |
| #92 | paperclip turban | 1 |
| #102 | paperclip-on tie | 1 |
| #229 | parasitic headgnawer | 1 |
| #206 | pear supersucker | 1 |
| #892 | pearidot | 1 |
| #236 | perpendicular hula with a fly in it | 1 |
| #293 | pig-iron bracers | 1 |
| #169 | pile of loose snow | 1 |
| #637 | plastic Crimbo reindeer | 1 |
| #489 | potted fern | 1 |
| #243 | prussian cathouse with a fly in it | 1 |
| #136 | ridiculous sandwich | 11 |
| #150 | right half of a heart necklace | 4 |
| #182 | rockin' wagon with a fly in it | 1 |
| #2789 | rubber WWJD? bracelet | 2 |
| #3655 | rubber WWSPD? bracelet | 1 |
| 🥇 | rxr shield | 1 |
| #97 | slap and tickle with a fly in it | 3 |
| #806 | sleeping stocking | 1 |
| #99 | slow jam collection | 36 |
| 🥉 | snow belly | 1 |
| #10 | snow hat | 1 |
| 🥉 | snow pants | 1 |
| #41 | sorority girl's box | 1 |
| 🥈 | speed limit shield | 1 |
| 🥇 | strawberry popsicle | 3,455 |
| #224 | strawberry supersucker | 1 |
| #917 | strawberyl | 1 |
| #77 | strawberyl necklace | 1 |
| #600 | string of Crimbo lights | 1 |
| #8850 | stuffed angry cow | 1 |
| #950 | stuffed ghuol whelp | 1 |
| #776 | stuffed zmobie | 1 |
| #1711 | sturdy Crimbo crate | 1 |
| #257 | sucker hakama | 1 |
| #219 | sucker kabuto | 1 |
| #801 | sucker scaffold | 1 |
| #278 | sucker tachi | 1 |
| #222 | tangarita with a fly in it | 1 |
| #174 | tin star | 1 |
| #17 | tiny plastic baby gravy fairy | 1,598 |
| #312 | tiny plastic trollipop | 1 |
| #908 | tourmalime | 1 |
| #106 | tourmalime tourniquet | 1 |
| #479 | tree skirt | 1 |
| #922 | trilobite fossil | 1 |
| #103 | white Canadian | 42 |
| #1036 | yellow candy heart | 4 |
| #1065 | yeti fur | 23 |