| #414 | Aluminum Epsilon of Humility | 1 |
| 🥇 | Anniversary Miniature Sword & Martini Guy | 1 |
| #309 | Baron von Ratsworth's money clip | 2 |
| #4297 | Baron von Ratsworth's monocle | 1 |
| #265 | Baron von Ratsworth's tophat | 9 |
| #522 | Blue Diamond of Honesty | 1 |
| #417 | Boss Bat bling | 8 |
| #1791 | Boss Bat britches | 4 |
| #1117 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 1) | 1 |
| #1013 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 2) | 1 |
| #1054 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 3) | 1 |
| #1019 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 4) | 1 |
| #1008 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 5) | 1 |
| #188 | Cerebral Culottes | 1 |
| #966 | Codpiece of the Goblin King | 7 |
| #491 | Colonel Mustard's Lonely Spades Club Jacket | 1 |
| #1369 | Copper Alpha of Sincerity | 1 |
| #481 | Corporal Fennel's Lonely Clubs Club Jacket | 1 |
| #3213 | Crimbuck | 1 |
| #4249 | Crown of the Goblin King | 1 |
| #192 | Discount Telescope Warehouse gift certificate | 1 |
| #440 | General Sage's Lonely Diamonds Club Jacket | 1 |
| #743 | Glass Balls of the Goblin King | 3 |
| #441 | Gnomitronic Hyperspatial Demodulizer | 1 |
| #1441 | Green Clover of Justice | 1 |
| #1675 | Iron Beta of Industry | 1 |
| #1208 | Knob Goblin firecracker | 1 |
| #229 | Lead Zeta of Chastity | 1 |
| #694 | Maxwell's Silver Hammer | 1 |
| #374 | NG | 1 |
| #1573 | Nickel Gamma of Frugality | 1 |
| #1270 | Orange Star of Sacrifice | 1 |
| #525 | Order of the Silver Wossname | 1 |
| #118 | Pan-Dimensional Gargle Blaster | 18 |
| #814 | Pink Heart of Spirit | 1 |
| #476 | Private Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Jacket | 1 |
| #232 | Purple Horseshoe of Honor | 1 |
| #260 | Red Balloon of Valor | 1 |
| #1050 | Schrödinger's thermos | 1 |
| #975 | Sensual Massage for Creeps | 1 |
| #384 | Tales of the Word Realms | 1 |
| #249 | Uranium Omega of Temperance | 1 |
| #771 | Workytime Tea | 1 |
| #1612 | Yellow Moon of Compassion | 1 |
| #1171 | Zinc Delta of Tranquility | 1 |
| 🥈 | anniversary balsa wood socks | 1 |
| 🥇 | anniversary burlap belt | 1 |
| #227 | anniversary chutney sculpture | 1 |
| 🥈 | anniversary concrete fedora | 1 |
| 🥈 | anniversary pewter cape | 1 |
| 🥈 | anniversary safety glass vest | 1 |
| 🥈 | anniversary tiny latex mask | 1 |
| #624 | antique bottle opener | 1 |
| #534 | antique painting of a landscape | 1 |
| #930 | antique record album | 1 |
| #588 | antique souvenir drawing | 1 |
| #962 | barbed-wire fence | 1 |
| #900 | baseball | 1 |
| #577 | black pepper | 1 |
| #138 | blank diary | 1 |
| 🥈 | blue ribbon | 1 |
| #7452 | box of sunshine | 1 |
| #180 | box-in-the-box-in-the-box | 1 |
| #541 | bronzed locust | 1 |
| 🥇 | bucket of anniversary lard | 1 |
| #1705 | chaos butterfly | 1 |
| #43 | clockwork detective skull | 1 |
| #15 | deck of lewd playing cards | 1 |
| #1024 | disease | 1 |
| #292 | disembodied smile | 1 |
| #1852 | disturbing fanfic | 1 |
| #656 | donkey flipbook | 1 |
| #425 | dwarvish magazine | 1 |
| #133 | eggman noodles | 1 |
| #94 | enchanted leopard-print barbell | 18 |
| #1093 | frigid ninja stars | 1 |
| #655 | hair spray | 1 |
| #647 | happiness | 1 |
| #134 | hardened slime belt | 1 |
| #150 | hardened slime hat | 1 |
| #143 | hardened slime pants | 1 |
| #994 | herbs | 1 |
| #668 | inkwell | 1 |
| #43 | jar of anniversary jam | 1 |
| #616 | leftovers of indeterminate origin | 1 |
| #707 | mariachi G-string | 1 |
| #1087 | meat vortex | 1 |
| #468 | mojo filter | 1 |
| 🥈 | ninja mop | 2,823 |
| #1146 | photoprotoneutron torpedo | 1 |
| #1281 | plot hole | 1 |
| #491 | powdered organs | 1 |
| #485 | pygmy blowgun | 1 |
| #443 | pygmy pygment | 1 |
| #962 | razor-sharp can lid | 1 |
| #373 | rib of the Bonerdagon | 5 |
| #823 | rocky raccoon | 1 |
| #3637 | rubber WWBD? bracelet | 1 |
| #3660 | rubber WWJD? bracelet | 1 |
| #3658 | rubber WWSPD? bracelet | 1 |
| #3650 | rubber WWtNSD? bracelet | 1 |
| #128 | sandwich of the gods | 19 |
| #576 | savoy truffle | 1 |
| #797 | sonar-in-a-biscuit | 1 |
| #106 | spandex anniversary shorts | 1 |
| #1160 | spider web | 1 |
| #577 | stick of dynamite | 1 |
| #617 | tropical orchid | 1 |
| #764 | vertebra of the Bonerdagon | 10 |
| #131 | walrus ice cream | 1 |
| #94 | yellow matter custard | 1 |