| #114 | "Humorous" T-shirt | 1 |
| #650 | A Beginner's Guide to Charming Snakes | 1 |
| #414 | Aluminum Epsilon of Humility | 1 |
| #2230 | Ancient Saucehelm | 1 |
| #1133 | Asleep in the Cemetery | 1 |
| #1043 | BGE merchandise order form | 1 |
| #521 | Blue Diamond of Honesty | 1 |
| #1742 | Breathetasticâ„¢ Premium Canned Air | 1 |
| #39 | Brimstone Beret | 1 |
| #63 | Brimstone Bludgeon | 1 |
| #100 | Brimstone Boxers | 1 |
| #23 | Brimstone Bracelet | 1 |
| #31 | Brimstone Brooch | 1 |
| #39 | Brimstone Bunker | 1 |
| #1119 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 1) | 1 |
| #1013 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 2) | 1 |
| #1053 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 3) | 1 |
| #1020 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 4) | 1 |
| #1009 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 5) | 1 |
| #1481 | Colander of Em-er'il | 2 |
| #399 | Cookbook of the Damned | 1 |
| #1369 | Copper Alpha of Sincerity | 1 |
| #96 | Crimbo stocking | 1 |
| #1695 | Disco 'Fro Pick | 2 |
| #1786 | El Sombrero De Lopez | 1 |
| #1468 | Elder Turtle Shell | 2 |
| #1165 | FDKOL commendation | 1 |
| #521 | FDKOL hotcakes | 1 |
| #1440 | Green Clover of Justice | 1 |
| #1674 | Iron Beta of Industry | 1 |
| #1195 | Jack-in-the-box | 1 |
| #156 | Knob Goblin tongs | 117 |
| #215 | Knob stuffed shells | 5 |
| #229 | Lead Zeta of Chastity | 1 |
| #82 | Libram of Divine Favors | 1 |
| #308 | Mae West | 1 |
| #1110 | Meleegraâ„¢ pills | 1 |
| #1758 | Mob Penguin cellular phone | 3 |
| #302 | Mob Penguin protection contract | 10 |
| #165 | Mr. Accessory | 1 |
| #1574 | Nickel Gamma of Frugality | 1 |
| #1269 | Orange Star of Sacrifice | 1 |
| #525 | Order of the Silver Wossname | 1 |
| #814 | Pink Heart of Spirit | 1 |
| #101 | Purple Horseshoe of Honor | 2 |
| #260 | Red Balloon of Valor | 1 |
| #2542 | Scalp of Gorgolok | 1 |
| #1061 | St. Sneaky Pete's Day goodies basket | 3 |
| #1038 | The Mariachi's guitar case | 1 |
| #1153 | Thwaitgold woollybear statuette | 1 |
| #61 | Time Juice | 8 |
| #701 | Uncle Romulus | 1 |
| #250 | Uranium Omega of Temperance | 1 |
| #1027 | Valentine | 12 |
| #1286 | Wand of Nagamar | 1 |
| #4 | Warehouse 23 crate | 1 |
| #1612 | Yellow Moon of Compassion | 1 |
| #139 | Yeti Protest Sign | 1 |
| #1170 | Zinc Delta of Tranquility | 1 |
| #281 | a little sump'm sump'm | 10 |
| #348 | anniversary gift box | 8 |
| #1147 | banana | 1 |
| #10 | big red clown nose | 4,211 |
| #137 | blank diary | 1 |
| #203 | bloody clown pants | 37 |
| #917 | box of sunshine | 279 |
| #2375 | brick | 2 |
| #928 | brine | 11 |
| #292 | broken cellular phone | 11 |
| #1816 | can of Binarrrca | 1 |
| #854 | clown hammer | 26 |
| #21 | clown shoes | 366 |
| #816 | clown skin | 1 |
| #73 | clown whip | 2 |
| #185 | clown wig | 1 |
| #239 | clownskin belt | 1 |
| #111 | clownskin buckler | 1 |
| #202 | clownskin harness | 1 |
| 🥉 | control crystal | 1 |
| #129 | cream pie | 11 |
| #403 | curmudgel | 1 |
| #1174 | dill | 11 |
| #466 | drop of water-37 | 1 |
| #5138 | easter egg balloon | 1 |
| #2519 | fancy chocolate | 1 |
| #9 | flaming juggler's balls | 1 |
| 🥉 | foolscap fool's cap | 24,882 |
| #10 | funny bone | 201 |
| #1346 | ghost cucumber | 11 |
| #1206 | gloomy black mushroom | 2 |
| #3473 | grue egg | 4 |
| #1997 | heart necklace | 3 |
| #325 | iced-out bling | 1 |
| #908 | ketchup hound | 1 |
| #2077 | mafia aria | 1 |
| #261 | oily golden mushroom | 2 |
| 🥇 | old-fashioned Crimbo Pressie | 1 |
| #153 | outrageous sombrero | 1 |
| #1352 | oyster basket | 2 |
| #807 | party hat | 1 |
| #495 | petrified time | 1 |
| #332 | phish stick | 3 |
| 🥇 | pirate hook | 1 |
| #211 | plexiglass pendant | 1 |
| #328 | plexiglass pikestaff | 1 |
| #288 | plexiglass pith helmet | 1 |
| #180 | plexiglass pocketwatch | 1 |
| #14 | polka-dot bow tie | 37 |
| #23 | pompadour'd puppy | 1 |
| #1318 | pork elf goodies sack | 2 |
| #1784 | porquoise | 2 |
| #147 | ridiculous cocktail | 11 |
| #72 | ridiculous earring | 1 |
| #553 | right half of a heart necklace | 1 |
| #301 | roll in the hay | 5 |
| #422 | severed rocking horse head | 1 |
| #245 | shingle | 30 |
| #1799 | stainless steel scarf | 1 |
| #2244 | stainless steel shillelagh | 1 |
| #2140 | stainless steel skullcap | 1 |
| #2248 | stainless steel slacks | 1 |
| #1862 | stainless steel solitaire | 1 |
| #1709 | stainless steel suspenders | 1 |
| #750 | stick-on eyebrow piercing | 3 |
| #2261 | string of blue beads | 1 |
| #2260 | string of green beads | 1 |
| #2246 | string of red beads | 1 |
| #2069 | stuffed mink | 11 |
| #269 | sucker bucket | 1 |
| #256 | sucker hakama | 1 |
| #219 | sucker kabuto | 1 |
| #278 | sucker tachi | 1 |
| #1487 | support cummerbund | 1 |
| 🥇 | time sleigh | 1 |
| #174 | tin star | 1 |
| #1221 | towel | 4 |
| 🥇 | tropical Crimbo pressie | 1 |
| #635 | twinkly wad | 51 |
| #1179 | vinegar | 11 |
| #322 | war tongs | 4 |