| #128 | 'WILL WORK FOR BOOZE' sign | 14 |
| #104 | A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 1 | 2 |
| #132 | A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 2 | 2 |
| #101 | A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 3 | 2 |
| #88 | A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 4 | 2 |
| #132 | A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 5 | 2 |
| #103 | A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 6 | 2 |
| #397 | Angry Farmer candy | 250 |
| #432 | Asleep in the Cemetery | 4 |
| #27 | Ax of L'rose | 1 |
| #386 | Biddy Cracker's Old-Fashioned Cookbook | 3 |
| #501 | Blizzards I Have Died In | 2 |
| #351 | Crimbo wreath | 2 |
| #6 | Crimbomination Contraption | 1 |
| #693 | Crimbuck | 1,337 |
| #2383 | Elder Turtle Shell | 1 |
| #345 | Inigo's Incantation of Inspiration | 2 |
| #836 | Kissin' Cousins | 1 |
| #238 | Let Me Be! | 6 |
| #849 | Maxing, Relaxing | 1 |
| #244 | Mick's IcyVapoHotness Inhaler | 17 |
| #248 | Mick's IcyVapoHotness Rub | 283 |
| #64 | Mr. Joe's bangles | 18 |
| #1594 | Pan-Dimensional Gargle Blaster | 2 |
| #659 | Sensual Massage for Creeps | 2 |
| #436 | Summer Nights | 3 |
| #418 | Travels with Jerry | 3 |
| 🥈 | Underworld acorn | 1 |
| #201 | Warm Subject gift certificate | 827 |
| #651 | Zu Mannkäse Dienen | 2 |
| #57 | ancient turtle shell helmet | 1 |
| #403 | awful poetry journal | 284 |
| #61 | ballast turtle | 16 |
| #72 | bark beret | 1 |
| #70 | bark boxers | 1 |
| #91 | bark bracelet | 1 |
| #490 | battered Crimbo Crate | 21 |
| #30 | bottlecap turtle | 20 |
| #570 | bowl of fishysoisse | 1 |
| #7445 | box of sunshine | 1 |
| #28 | box turtle | 30 |
| #77 | boxcar turtle | 1 |
| #62 | candy kneecapping stick | 23 |
| #69 | candy knuckles | 22 |
| #804 | cement sandals | 1 |
| #364 | chaos butterfly | 603 |
| #527 | chintzy turtle brooch | 1 |
| #252 | chrome helmet turtle | 1 |
| #624 | colorful plastic ball | 2 |
| #530 | comfy coffin | 2 |
| #284 | concentrated garbage juice | 3 |
| #64 | corncob pipe | 19 |
| #83 | cup of infinite pencils | 15 |
| #323 | deadly lampshade | 3 |
| #415 | disturbing fanfic | 316 |
| #20 | dueling turtle | 23 |
| #991 | dusty Crimbo crate | 6 |
| #85 | elven cellocello | 89 |
| #104 | elven suicide capsule | 74 |
| #1472 | enchanted leopard-print barbell | 2 |
| #68 | fancy chocolate car | 39 |
| #634 | filth-encrusted futon | 1 |
| #156 | frayed rope belt | 9 |
| #295 | furry fur | 386 |
| #22 | furry green turtle | 24 |
| #240 | giant needle | 276 |
| #309 | gingerbread house | 2 |
| #176 | grinning turtle | 1 |
| #277 | heavy D | 354 |
| #1685 | helmet turtle | 2 |
| #694 | herringcello | 25 |
| #1287 | hobo nickel | 1 |
| #1861 | jawbruiser | 1 |
| #29 | knobby helmet turtle | 25 |
| #178 | leftover Crimbo rations | 1 |
| #289 | lewd playing card | 9 |
| #72 | licorice garrote | 21 |
| #836 | live wire | 1 |
| #81 | lucky bottlecap | 16 |
| #830 | mummy costume | 4 |
| #219 | night-vision goggles | 7 |
| #275 | original G | 378 |
| #20 | padded tortoise | 17 |
| #43 | painted turtle | 12 |
| #86 | pair of bolt cutters | 18 |
| #103 | panhandle panhandling hat | 14 |
| #893 | passable elf mask | 6 |
| #1339 | penguin focaccia bread | 13 |
| #572 | petrified wood | 13 |
| #169 | pile of loose snow | 1 |
| #368 | plastic Crimbo reindeer | 2 |
| #283 | plot hole | 614 |
| #279 | pocketwatch on a chain | 9 |
| #158 | poison pen | 8 |
| #255 | probability potion | 304 |
| #279 | procrastination potion | 272 |
| #787 | pumpkinhead mask | 6 |
| #180 | rave whistle | 35 |
| #43 | rusty piece of rebar | 11 |
| #18 | samurai turtle | 30 |
| #1701 | sandwich of the gods | 2 |
| #26 | sewer turtle | 21 |
| #26 | skeletortoise | 18 |
| #412 | sleeping wereturtle | 1 |
| 🥉 | snow belly | 1 |
| #10 | snow hat | 1 |
| 🥉 | snow pants | 1 |
| #22 | soup turtle | 14 |
| #60 | spiky turtle helmet | 1 |
| #62 | spiky turtle shield | 1 |
| #59 | spiky turtle shoulderpads | 1 |
| #871 | spooky bark | 4 |
| #387 | spooky bindle | 2 |
| #660 | spooky sap | 11 |
| #269 | stained mattress | 4 |
| #331 | string of Crimbo lights | 2 |
| #2399 | stuffed Cheshire bitten | 20 |
| #2622 | stuffed MagiMechTech MicroMechaMech | 18 |
| #3986 | stuffed angry cow | 10 |
| #3333 | stuffed astral badger | 13 |
| #5275 | stuffed baby gravy fairy | 6 |
| #242 | stuffed can of asparagus | 50 |
| #2703 | stuffed cocoabo | 17 |
| #401 | stuffed dodecapede | 10 |
| #3417 | stuffed flaming gravy fairy | 13 |
| #2035 | stuffed frozen gravy fairy | 25 |
| #3068 | stuffed hand turkey | 15 |
| #3032 | stuffed mind flayer | 15 |
| #471 | stuffed ninja snowman | 10 |
| #2935 | stuffed scary death orb | 16 |
| #4592 | stuffed sleazy gravy fairy | 8 |
| #2823 | stuffed snowy owl | 16 |
| #3057 | stuffed spooky gravy fairy | 15 |
| #3997 | stuffed stinky gravy fairy | 10 |
| #3049 | stuffed undead elbow macaroni | 15 |
| #553 | stuffed yo-yo | 1 |
| #10 | sturdy Crimbo crate | 1,187 |
| #166 | syncopated turtle | 1 |
| #323 | thin black candle | 686 |
| #111 | throwing wrench | 20 |
| #366 | tiny plastic 11 Dealer | 2 |
| #329 | tiny plastic Crimbo Casino | 2 |
| #290 | tiny plastic Crimbomination | 2 |
| #343 | tiny plastic Don Crimbo | 2 |
| #334 | tiny plastic stocking mimic | 2 |
| #4474 | tiny plastic turtle tamer | 1 |
| #15 | torquoise | 23 |
| #21 | tortoboggan | 17 |
| #1787 | turtle totem | 1 |
| #260 | wolf mask | 122 |
| #433 | wolfman mask | 14 |