| #774 | 'WILL WORK FOR BOOZE' sign | 1 |
| #202 | A. W. O. L. commendation | 33 |
| #530 | Blackfly Chardonnay | 3 |
| #521 | Cloaca grenade | 29 |
| #1039 | Cloaca-Cola | 11 |
| #619 | Cloaca-Cola c-rations | 5 |
| #646 | Cloaca-Cola fatigues | 4 |
| #391 | Cloaca-Cola helmet | 6 |
| #696 | Cloaca-Cola knapsack | 2 |
| #608 | Cloaca-Cola shield | 4 |
| #610 | Cloaca-Cola-issue combat knife | 1 |
| #91 | Comma Chameleon egg | 1 |
| #436 | Doc's Miracle Cure | 2 |
| #516 | Dyspepsi grenade | 25 |
| #1624 | Dyspepsi-Cola | 7 |
| #564 | Dyspepsi-Cola d-rations | 5 |
| #768 | Dyspepsi-Cola fatigues | 3 |
| #771 | Dyspepsi-Cola helmet | 3 |
| #573 | Dyspepsi-Cola knapsack | 3 |
| #565 | Dyspepsi-Cola shield | 4 |
| #441 | Gnomitronic Hyperspatial Demodulizer | 1 |
| #338 | Gummi-DNA | 1 |
| #753 | Gummi-Gnauga | 1 |
| #548 | Lucky Surprise Egg | 4 |
| #171 | Mr. Balloon | 1 |
| #43 | My Own Pen Pal kit | 1 |
| #51 | Operation Patriot Shield | 1 |
| #64 | Penultimate Fantasy chest | 909 |
| #64 | Schmalz's First Prize Beer | 1 |
| #69 | Sorcerers of the Shore Grimoire | 1 |
| #211 | Spooky Surprise Egg | 78 |
| #601 | The Art of Slapfighting | 1 |
| #1570 | Thwaitgold bee statuette | 1 |
| #1939 | Thwaitgold grasshopper statuette | 1 |
| #119 | Tome of Clip Art | 1 |
| 🥇 | Uncle Crimbo's Sack | 1 |
| #200 | Unionize The Elves sign | 1 |
| #97 | alphabet gum | 18 |
| #227 | anniversary chutney sculpture | 1 |
| 🥈 | anniversary concrete fedora | 1 |
| #451 | aspirin | 2 |
| #82 | astral badger | 1 |
| #136 | bad penguin egg | 1 |
| #549 | ball | 11 |
| #73 | bazookafish bubble gum | 63 |
| #337 | bell-shaped Crimbo cookie | 3 |
| #1379 | black paisley oyster egg | 3 |
| #2109 | black plastic oyster egg | 1 |
| #1488 | black polka-dot oyster egg | 2 |
| #1166 | black striped oyster egg | 4 |
| #1650 | blood flower | 1 |
| #2553 | blue paisley oyster egg | 1 |
| #1290 | blue plastic oyster egg | 3 |
| #713 | blue polka-dot oyster egg | 6 |
| #1369 | blue striped oyster egg | 3 |
| #383 | bottle of single-barrel whiskey | 3 |
| #321 | breaded beer | 2 |
| #901 | brine | 12 |
| 🥇 | bucket of anniversary lard | 1 |
| #547 | can of fake snow | 1 |
| #2563 | candy cane | 7 |
| #227 | centipede eggs | 15 |
| #1515 | cheap plastic bottle opener | 2 |
| #260 | chewing gum on a string | 59 |
| #109 | chocolate box | 1 |
| #964 | cocoa egg | 3 |
| #508 | colored-light "necklace" | 1 |
| #1025 | daisy | 1 |
| #1263 | doll house | 2 |
| #1475 | duck-on-a-string | 1 |
| #746 | easter egg balloon | 33 |
| #897 | eggnog | 17 |
| #870 | empty blowgun | 1 |
| #49 | exotic parrot egg | 1 |
| #491 | explosion-flavored chewing gum | 59 |
| #53 | fossilized baboon skull | 12 |
| #169 | fossilized bat skull | 4 |
| #112 | fossilized demon skull | 5 |
| #157 | fossilized limb | 74 |
| 🥈 | fossilized necklace | 1 |
| #250 | fossilized serpent skull | 3 |
| #341 | fossilized spike | 12 |
| #120 | fossilized spine | 18 |
| #80 | fossilized torso | 77 |
| #90 | fossilized wing | 44 |
| #46 | fossilized wyrm skull | 15 |
| #2871 | fruitcake | 2 |
| #1141 | ghost cucumber | 21 |
| #293 | ghuol egg | 70 |
| #101 | gilded ancient cursed chest | 3 |
| #2188 | gingerbread bugbear | 5 |
| #1410 | grue egg | 18 |
| #394 | hideous egg | 6 |
| #230 | hot egg | 1 |
| #18 | hypnodisk | 1 |
| #337 | jabañero-flavored chewing gum | 20 |
| #43 | jar of anniversary jam | 1 |
| #597 | kite | 12 |
| #2180 | lavender paisley oyster egg | 1 |
| #1169 | lavender plastic oyster egg | 3 |
| #938 | lavender polka-dot oyster egg | 3 |
| #1117 | lavender striped oyster egg | 2 |
| #47 | leather aviator's cap | 1 |
| #513 | lime-and-chile-flavored chewing gum | 12 |
| #1135 | loaded serum blowgun | 3 |
| #1188 | mauve plastic oyster egg | 3 |
| #1260 | mauve polka-dot oyster egg | 2 |
| #970 | mauve striped oyster egg | 4 |
| #49 | mirrored aviator shades | 1 |
| #75 | mysterious chest | 1 |
| #1361 | off-white paisley oyster egg | 1 |
| #2533 | off-white plastic oyster egg | 1 |
| #900 | off-white polka-dot oyster egg | 3 |
| #1580 | off-white striped oyster egg | 1 |
| 🥇 | old-fashioned Crimbo Pressie | 1 |
| #865 | oriole-feather headdress | 1 |
| #131 | ornate ancient cursed chest | 2 |
| #257 | pack of chewing gum | 1 |
| #682 | personalized birthday cake | 2 |
| #260 | pet rock | 30 |
| #157 | petrified time | 3 |
| #330 | phish stick | 3 |
| #460 | pickle-flavored chewing gum | 14 |
| #745 | picture of a dead guy's girlfriend | 1 |
| #417 | plastic passion fruit | 3 |
| #2032 | puce paisley oyster egg | 1 |
| #854 | puce plastic oyster egg | 4 |
| #2250 | puce polka-dot oyster egg | 1 |
| #128 | puce striped oyster egg | 16 |
| #182 | rag doll | 11 |
| #1513 | red paisley oyster egg | 2 |
| #1390 | red plastic oyster egg | 3 |
| #1457 | red polka-dot oyster egg | 2 |
| #1645 | red striped oyster egg | 1 |
| #1965 | robotronic egg | 1 |
| #10 | rose-colored glasses | 1 |
| #567 | rubber emo roe | 56 |
| #9 | sleeping piano cat | 1 |
| #693 | sleeping snowy owl | 3 |
| #82 | slimy chest | 1 |
| #240 | sock monkey | 11 |
| #106 | spandex anniversary shorts | 1 |
| #73 | squirming egg sac | 196 |
| #532 | stick of "gum" | 3 |
| 🥇 | stop shield | 1 |
| #1002 | stuffed doppelshifter | 10 |
| #1309 | stuffed treasure chest | 27 |
| #776 | stuffed zmobie | 1 |
| #30 | stuffed-shirt scarecrow | 2 |
| #292 | sugar-coated pine cone | 9 |
| #43 | sunken chest | 482 |
| #399 | tamarind-flavored chewing gum | 18 |
| #828 | teddy bear | 7 |
| #582 | tin cup of mulligan stew | 1 |
| #2452 | tiny plastic Crimbo elf | 3 |
| #2896 | tiny plastic Crimbo reindeer | 2 |
| #1224 | tiny plastic Crimbo wreath | 3 |
| #737 | tiny plastic Uncle Crimbo | 5 |
| #2892 | tiny plastic sweet nutcracker | 2 |
| #348 | top | 13 |
| #280 | toy train | 8 |
| #479 | tree skirt | 1 |
| #524 | tree-shaped Crimbo cookie | 2 |
| #51 | urinal cake | 1,001 |
| #1796 | yellow paisley oyster egg | 1 |
| #1583 | yellow plastic oyster egg | 3 |
| #1328 | yellow polka-dot oyster egg | 1 |
| #1061 | yellow striped oyster egg | 2 |
| #1348 | yo-yo | 10 |
| #607 | zombie pineal gland | 8 |