| #522 | Blue Diamond of Honesty | 1 |
| #887 | Copper Alpha of Sincerity | 2 |
| #586 | Feng Shui for Big Dumb Idiots | 7 |
| #213 | Frat Army FGF | 20 |
| #258 | Gnollish pie server | 7 |
| #259 | Hippy Army MPE | 24 |
| #172 | Imp Ale | 1,356 |
| #1675 | Iron Beta of Industry | 1 |
| #229 | Lead Zeta of Chastity | 1 |
| #231 | M-242 | 50 |
| #781 | MagiMechTech NanoMechaMech | 9 |
| #61 | McPhee's Grimoire of Hilarious Object Summoning | 1 |
| #1574 | Nickel Gamma of Frugality | 1 |
| #1270 | Orange Star of Sacrifice | 1 |
| #526 | Order of the Silver Wossname | 1 |
| #1003 | Pan-Dimensional Gargle Blaster | 6 |
| #464 | Pink Heart of Spirit | 2 |
| #12 | Platinum Yendorian Express Card | 1 |
| #232 | Purple Horseshoe of Honor | 1 |
| #41 | Raggedy Hippy doll | 13 |
| #260 | Red Balloon of Valor | 1 |
| #162 | Uncle Jick's Brownie Mix | 23 |
| #200 | Unionize The Elves sign | 1 |
| #249 | Uranium Omega of Temperance | 1 |
| #191 | Warm Subject gift certificate | 940 |
| #19 | apathetic lizardman doll | 13 |
| #281 | awful poetry journal | 526 |
| #1312 | ball | 3 |
| 🥈 | balloon monkey | 3,194 |
| 🥇 | borg sock monkey | 3,792 |
| #2101 | bottle of goofballs | 10 |
| #204 | bottle of tequila | 176 |
| #1129 | brick | 24 |
| #639 | buckyball | 7 |
| #153 | chopsticks | 35 |
| #756 | clown hammer | 32 |
| #127 | cranberries | 307 |
| #926 | defective skull | 14 |
| #819 | disembodied brain | 1 |
| #288 | disturbing fanfic | 567 |
| #687 | easter egg balloon | 36 |
| #928 | enchanted leopard-print barbell | 6 |
| #195 | facsimile dictionary | 53 |
| #94 | fertilized ghuol egg | 7 |
| #103 | flaming crutch | 110 |
| #144 | flaregun | 112 |
| #251 | frat brats | 2 |
| #770 | ghost cucumber | 54 |
| #135 | ghuol egg | 192 |
| #128 | giant discarded plastic fork | 62 |
| #480 | gloomy black mushroom | 6 |
| #285 | grue egg | 84 |
| #533 | guy made of bee pollen | 4 |
| #108 | half-rotten brain | 9 |
| #510 | hobo nickel | 437 |
| #47 | inflatable duck | 100 |
| #190 | leaflet | 7 |
| #77 | live nautical mine | 2 |
| #1942 | loaded serum blowgun | 1 |
| 🥈 | mad scientist's sock monkey | 1,957 |
| #275 | miniature stuffed Goth Giant | 2 |
| #361 | natty blue ascot | 1 |
| #240 | pail | 54 |
| #2716 | pet rock | 1 |
| #221 | photoprotoneutron torpedo | 158 |
| #747 | picture of a dead guy's girlfriend | 1 |
| #1405 | possessed top | 3 |
| #15 | rat head balloon | 13 |
| #433 | razor-tipped yo-yo | 20 |
| #7 | rhesus monkey | 1,070 |
| #70 | roll of Hob-Os | 33 |
| #1034 | sandwich of the gods | 6 |
| #147 | sensitive poetry journal | 4 |
| #598 | sleeping snowy owl | 4 |
| #8 | sock monkey | 497 |
| #3939 | stuffed Cheshire bitten | 10 |
| #3750 | stuffed MagiMechTech MicroMechaMech | 11 |
| #3170 | stuffed alien blob | 1 |
| #3557 | stuffed angry cow | 12 |
| #4160 | stuffed cocoabo | 9 |
| #162 | stuffed doppelshifter | 93 |
| #128 | stuffed ghuol whelp | 13 |
| #5753 | stuffed hand turkey | 5 |
| #471 | stuffed ninja snowman | 10 |
| #283 | stuffed shoulder parrot | 69 |
| #4147 | stuffed snowy owl | 9 |
| #29 | stuffed stab bat | 13 |
| #24 | stuffed yeti | 13 |
| #120 | stuffed zmobie | 13 |
| 🥉 | tiny plastic Bonerdagon | 4,170 |
| #8 | tiny plastic howling balloon monkey | 5,469 |
| 🥇 | tiny plastic topiary golem | 14,240 |
| #800 | toast | 924 |
| #477 | toy deathbot | 2 |
| #897 | toy mercenary | 6 |
| #517 | toy soldier | 3 |
| #1711 | tree-eating kite | 9 |
| #798 | whoopie cushion | 36 |
| #1803 | yo | 2 |
| #114 | yo-yo | 274 |
| #1201 | zombie pineal gland | 3 |