| #478 | BRICKO brick | 2 |
| #94 | Beach Buck | 66 |
| #38 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 1) (used) | 1 |
| #34 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 2) (used) | 1 |
| #36 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 3) (used) | 1 |
| #32 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 4) (used) | 1 |
| 🥉 | Cocktails of the Age of Sail (used) | 1 |
| #170 | Coinspiracy | 1 |
| 🥇 | Comprehensive Cartographic Compendium (well-read) | 1 |
| #314 | Crimbuccaneer piece of 12 | 1 |
| #24 | Drip harness | 1 |
| #28 | Driplet | 10 |
| #323 | Elf Guard MPC | 2 |
| #87 | Elf Guard safety bear | 1 |
| #102 | Good 'n' Slimy | 1 |
| #5 | Mayoflex | 164 |
| #7 | Mayonex | 57 |
| #1086 | Senior Mints | 2 |
| #73 | Steam Card: Meteoid (#1) | 1 |
| #68 | Tales of a Kansas Toymaker (used) | 1 |
| #21 | The Art of Slapfighting (used) | 1 |
| 🥉 | The Encyclopedia of Fruit (used) | 1 |
| #4 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 1 (used) | 1 |
| #4 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 2 (used) | 1 |
| #5 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 3 (used) | 1 |
| #8 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 4 (used) | 1 |
| #7 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 5 (used) | 1 |
| 🥉 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 6 (used) | 1 |
| #4 | The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 1 (used) | 1 |
| 🥈 | The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 2 (used) | 1 |
| 🥇 | The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 3 (used) | 1 |
| 🥈 | The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 4 (used) | 1 |
| 🥇 | The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 5 (used) | 1 |
| #4 | The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 6 (used) | 1 |
| 🥈 | The Spirit of Giving (used) | 1 |
| #323 | Thwaitgold Goliath beetle statuette | 12 |
| #292 | Thwaitgold amoeba statuette | 2 |
| #831 | Thwaitgold ant statuette | 1 |
| #1574 | Thwaitgold bee statuette | 1 |
| #406 | Thwaitgold bombardier beetle statuette | 1 |
| #348 | Thwaitgold buzzy beetle statuette | 1 |
| #421 | Thwaitgold cockroach statuette | 1 |
| #1409 | Thwaitgold dragonfly statuette | 1 |
| #197 | Thwaitgold fairyfly statue | 2 |
| #1731 | Thwaitgold firefly statuette | 1 |
| #93 | Thwaitgold harvestman statuette | 1 |
| #910 | Thwaitgold maggot statuette | 5 |
| #183 | Thwaitgold nymph statuette | 6 |
| #221 | Thwaitgold protozoa statuette | 1 |
| #115 | Thwaitgold quantum bug statuette | 12 |
| #1292 | Thwaitgold scarab beetle statuette | 1 |
| #660 | Thwaitgold scorpion statuette | 1 |
| #46 | Thwaitgold shield bug statuette | 1 |
| #58 | Thwaitgold slug statuette | 73 |
| #272 | Thwaitgold splendor beetle statuette | 1 |
| #2339 | Thwaitgold stag beetle statuette | 1 |
| #1260 | Thwaitgold termite statuette | 1 |
| #69 | Thwaitgold wolf spider statuette | 2 |
| 🥈 | Too Cold to Hold: How to Be Cool - A Memoir (read) | 1 |
| #111 | Wal-Mart gift certificate | 3 |
| #220 | adorable seal larva | 10 |
| #85 | asbestos crossbow string | 3 |
| #104 | asbestos stick | 2 |
| #93 | asbestos sword hilt | 3 |
| #112 | automa-bot parts | 8 |
| #933 | badass belt | 58 |
| #1653 | blood flower | 1 |
| #1952 | bottle of goofballs | 11 |
| #2704 | brick | 1 |
| #53 | bunny liver | 191 |
| #996 | cheap toaster | 2 |
| #27 | chrome crossbow string | 16 |
| #84 | chrome stick | 3 |
| 🥇 | cold medicine cabinet | 1 |
| #648 | daisy | 2 |
| 🥇 | diabolic pizza cube | 1 |
| #296 | donated booze | 24 |
| #313 | donated candy | 20 |
| #320 | donated food | 19 |
| #102 | eleven-foot pole | 4 |
| #1448 | friendly cheez blob | 1 |
| #221 | gooified animal matter | 7 |
| #277 | gooified vegetable matter | 3 |
| #2507 | heart necklace | 2 |
| #90 | linoleum crossbow string | 2 |
| #126 | linoleum sword hilt | 1 |
| #96 | lovecat tail | 10 |
| #1420 | macaroni duck | 1 |
| #657 | magical pony: Dusk Shiny | 1 |
| #91 | odor extractor | 1 |
| #261 | oily golden mushroom | 2 |
| #462 | personalized coffee mug | 115 |
| #2046 | pixellated candy heart | 1 |
| #271 | plastic passion fruit | 6 |
| #38 | pool shark hair oil | 1 |
| #822 | pretty flower | 44 |
| 🥈 | record of infuriating silence (used) | 1 |
| 🥉 | record of menacing silence (used) | 1 |
| 🥈 | record of tranquil silence (used) | 1 |
| #759 | shredded hellseal hide | 1 |
| #176 | slime convention coupons | 1 |
| #183 | slime convention flyers | 1 |
| #188 | slime convention t-shirt | 1 |
| 🥈 | spinal-fluid-covered emotion chip | 1 |
| #2012 | stuffed doppelshifter | 3 |
| #91 | stuffed kraken | 1 |
| #967 | untamable turtle | 2 |
| #20 | warbear empathy chip (used) | 1 |
| #45 | warbear metalworking primer (used) | 1 |