| #410 | Aluminum Epsilon of Humility | 1 |
| #31 | Bastille Battalion cheese wheel | 8 |
| #18 | Bastille Battalion control rig loaner voucher | 15 |
| #19 | Bastille Battalion tattoo kit | 4 |
| #522 | Blue Diamond of Honesty | 1 |
| #30 | Booke of Vampyric Knowledge | 6 |
| #39 | Boxing Day Pass | 8 |
| #459 | C.A.R.N.I.V.O.R.E. button | 1 |
| #5 | Cheer-Up soda | 800 |
| #1728 | Cloaca grenade | 1 |
| #1001 | Corpse Island iced tea | 4 |
| #534 | Danglin' Chad's loincloth | 1 |
| #281 | Friendliness Beverage | 1 |
| #441 | Gnomitronic Hyperspatial Demodulizer | 1 |
| #35 | God Lobster Egg | 1 |
| #1436 | Green Clover of Justice | 1 |
| #569 | Hippy Army MPE | 1 |
| #1089 | Knob Goblin love potion | 1 |
| #939 | Knob Goblin steroids | 1 |
| #693 | Maxwell's Silver Hammer | 1 |
| #1110 | Meleegra™ pills | 1 |
| #79 | Mer-kin cancerstick | 1 |
| #48 | Meteorite-Ade | 9 |
| #58 | New Age hurting crystal | 1 |
| #1568 | Nickel Gamma of Frugality | 1 |
| #1266 | Orange Star of Sacrifice | 1 |
| #813 | Pink Heart of Spirit | 1 |
| 🥇 | Pocket Meteor Guide (well-thumbed) | 1 |
| #128 | Racisto Ruidoso | 3 |
| #613 | Slow Talkin' Elliot's dogtags | 1 |
| #180 | Space Tourist Phaser | 1 |
| #211 | Sword of Dark Omens | 1 |
| #99 | Tequiz Navidad | 1 |
| #85 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 1 | 1 |
| #34 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 5 | 3 |
| #34 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 6 | 3 |
| #1612 | Yellow Moon of Compassion | 1 |
| #611 | Zim Merman's guitar | 1 |
| #1168 | Zinc Delta of Tranquility | 1 |
| #20 | absentee voter ballot | 20 |
| 🥈 | anniversary balsa wood socks | 1 |
| 🥇 | anniversary burlap belt | 1 |
| #227 | anniversary chutney sculpture | 1 |
| 🥈 | anniversary concrete fedora | 1 |
| 🥈 | anniversary safety glass vest | 1 |
| #267 | ant hoe | 1 |
| #80 | antique Canadian lantern | 2 |
| #49 | asteroid belt | 1 |
| #147 | badge of authority | 1 |
| #19 | balanced antler | 7 |
| #783 | batblade | 1 |
| #454 | beaten-up Chucks | 1 |
| #39 | black and white cracker | 6 |
| #122 | blue shell | 1 |
| #170 | book of matches | 1 |
| #697 | bottle of alcohol | 1 |
| #7445 | box of sunshine | 1 |
| 🥇 | bucket of anniversary lard | 1 |
| #592 | can of maces | 1 |
| #1699 | can-shaped gelatinous cranberry sauce | 4 |
| #1675 | candied yams | 4 |
| #1706 | chaos butterfly | 1 |
| #128 | cheer extractor | 1 |
| #109 | cheerful Crimbo sweater | 1 |
| #87 | cheerful antler hat | 1 |
| #86 | cheerful pajama pants | 1 |
| #1796 | clown hammer | 1 |
| #28 | cocoa chondrule | 9 |
| #166 | colorful toad | 1 |
| #1211 | corpse on the beach | 3 |
| #1006 | corpsedriver | 4 |
| #1025 | corpsetini | 4 |
| #683 | crystalline cheer | 1 |
| #99 | cursed wishbone | 3 |
| #73 | cute meteoroid | 1 |
| 🥉 | death blossom | 366 |
| #113 | deep six-shooter | 1 |
| #1854 | disturbing fanfic | 1 |
| 🥈 | druidic s'more | 58 |
| #1277 | dwarf bread | 1 |
| #209 | elephant stinger | 1 |
| #405 | exploding hacky-sack | 1 |
| #655 | ferret bait | 1 |
| #539 | furniture dolly | 1 |
| #186 | giant turkey leg | 1 |
| #104 | gold Boozehounds Anonymous token | 8 |
| #1909 | green beer | 1 |
| #646 | happiness | 1 |
| #108 | head mirror | 1 |
| #1241 | herb brownies | 1 |
| #2511 | herbal stuffing | 1 |
| #98 | hushed puppy | 4 |
| #728 | hypodermic needle | 1 |
| #246 | insanely spicy enchanted bean burrito | 1 |
| #43 | jar of anniversary jam | 1 |
| #201 | kamicorpse-ee | 1 |
| #69 | leechknife | 1 |
| #48 | meadeorite | 9 |
| #66 | metal meteoroid | 9 |
| #42 | meteorb | 1 |
| #49 | meteoreo | 9 |
| #51 | meteorite guard | 1 |
| #58 | meteortarboard | 1 |
| #81 | meteorthopedic shoes | 1 |
| #15 | mime army camouflage kit | 12 |
| #19 | mime army infiltration glove | 1 |
| #22 | mime army insignia (cryonics) | 1 |
| #26 | mime army insignia (morale) | 1 |
| #17 | mime army insignia (psychological warfare) | 1 |
| #38 | mime army insignia (pyrotechnics) | 1 |
| #18 | mime army insignia (sanitation) | 1 |
| #117 | mime army rations | 3 |
| #70 | mime army shotglass | 1 |
| #42 | mime army superserum | 4 |
| #117 | mime army wine | 3 |
| #28 | mime eraser | 46 |
| #72 | mime pocket probe | 1 |
| 🥇 | mime-proof sunglasses | 1 |
| #78 | miming beret | 1 |
| #84 | miming boots | 1 |
| #326 | muffled muffuletta | 1 |
| #359 | natty blue ascot | 1 |
| #37 | nega-mushroom | 53 |
| #878 | oversized pizza cutter | 1 |
| #409 | ovoid leather thing | 1 |
| #46 | plastic bazooka | 2 |
| #36 | portable dam | 3 |
| #303 | powdered donut | 1 |
| #21 | pristine walrus tusk | 6 |
| #215 | purple corpsel | 1 |
| #513 | redrum | 1 |
| #142 | rolling pin | 1 |
| #75 | sharpened spoon | 1 |
| #48 | shooting morning star | 1 |
| #52 | shushed potatoes | 5 |
| #38 | silent A | 2 |
| #95 | silent B | 2 |
| #30 | silent C | 2 |
| #63 | silent D | 1 |
| #32 | silent E | 2 |
| #38 | silent F | 2 |
| #62 | silent G | 1 |
| #5 | silent H | 50 |
| #96 | silent I | 5 |
| #52 | silent J | 6 |
| #46 | silent K | 1 |
| #111 | silent L | 2 |
| #108 | silent M | 4 |
| #68 | silent N | 1 |
| #9 | silent O | 69 |
| #110 | silent P | 5 |
| #47 | silent Q | 2 |
| #62 | silent R | 1 |
| #34 | silent S | 2 |
| #34 | silent T | 2 |
| #39 | silent U | 2 |
| #38 | silent V | 2 |
| #122 | silent W | 1 |
| #71 | silent X | 6 |
| #39 | silent Y | 2 |
| #32 | silent Z | 7 |
| #252 | single-serving herbal stuffing | 1 |
| #106 | spandex anniversary shorts | 1 |
| #98 | spectral axe | 1 |
| #21 | stale Cheer-E-Os | 94 |
| #21 | stale cheer wine | 95 |
| #59 | sweetened reindeer fat | 1 |
| #92 | temperance whiskey | 4 |
| #65 | tiny plastic The Silent Nightmare | 1 |
| #71 | tiny plastic mime executive | 1 |
| #71 | tiny plastic mime functionary | 1 |
| #72 | tiny plastic mime scientist | 1 |
| #74 | tiny plastic mime soldier | 1 |
| #1905 | tofurkey gravy | 3 |
| #2297 | tofurkey leg | 2 |
| #160 | tofurkey nugget | 1 |
| #92 | transdermal smoke patch | 1 |
| #442 | tube sock | 1 |
| #73 | unfinished fruitcake | 4 |
| #247 | warehouse key | 1 |
| #176 | yam candy | 1 |