| #774 | 'WILL WORK FOR BOOZE' sign | 1 |
| #784 | ASCII shirt | 1 |
| #27 | Ax of L'rose | 1 |
| #4299 | Baron von Ratsworth's monocle | 1 |
| #499 | Bulky Buddy Box | 6 |
| #230 | C.H.U.M. chum | 3 |
| #491 | Colonel Mustard's Lonely Spades Club Jacket | 1 |
| #479 | Corporal Fennel's Lonely Clubs Club Jacket | 1 |
| #6 | Crimbomination Contraption | 1 |
| #1919 | Crimbuck | 50 |
| #1475 | Daffy Taffy | 9 |
| #190 | Dogsgotnonoz pills | 1 |
| #423 | Eau de Guaneau | 1 |
| 🥇 | French slippers | 1 |
| 🥈 | Fuzzby | 1 |
| #440 | General Sage's Lonely Diamonds Club Jacket | 1 |
| #233 | Gordon Bennett | 1 |
| #170 | Gummi-DNA | 7 |
| #342 | Gummi-Gnauga | 7 |
| #665 | Hodgman's blanket | 1 |
| #81 | Hodgman's cane | 1 |
| #174 | Hodgman's journal #3: Pumping Tin | 1 |
| #144 | Hodgman's porkpie hat | 1 |
| 🥇 | Jackass Plumber home game | 1 |
| #628 | Knob Goblin lunchbox | 1 |
| 🥈 | LARP membership card | 1 |
| 🥇 | LWA ring | 1 |
| #260 | Mae West with a fly in it | 1 |
| #1110 | Meleegra™ pills | 1 |
| #597 | Mick's IcyVapoHotness Inhaler | 5 |
| #2030 | Mr. Mediocrebar | 9 |
| #108 | Oscus's garbage can lid | 1 |
| #474 | Private Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Jacket | 1 |
| #672 | Retenez L'Herbe Paté | 3 |
| #2231 | Rock Pops | 6 |
| #962 | SPF 451 lip balm | 1 |
| #1318 | Senior Mints | 1 |
| #642 | Steal This Candy | 1 |
| #172 | Super Magic Power Sword X | 1 |
| #1956 | Tasty Fun Good rice candy | 1 |
| #288 | Tiger-lily's milk | 1 |
| 🥇 | Trivial Avocations board game | 1 |
| #527 | Valentine's Day cake | 1 |
| #472 | Wolfman Nardz | 1 |
| #134 | X-37 gun | 1 |
| #2085 | Yummy Tummy bean | 30 |
| #192 | Zombo's skullcap | 1 |
| #227 | anniversary chutney sculpture | 1 |
| #485 | armgun | 1 |
| #351 | asbestos ore | 18 |
| #950 | bag of Cheat-Os | 1 |
| #753 | bag of lard | 1 |
| #72 | bark beret | 1 |
| #70 | bark boxers | 1 |
| #91 | bark bracelet | 1 |
| #1459 | barrrnacle | 4 |
| #569 | beer bong | 1 |
| #687 | beholed bedsheet | 1 |
| #509 | black eyedrops | 1 |
| #197 | blended frozen swill with a fly in it | 1 |
| #743 | bottle of Monsieur Bubble | 1 |
| #376 | bottle of Mystic Shell | 2 |
| #670 | bottle of antifreeze | 1 |
| #5028 | bottle of goofballs | 1 |
| #680 | bottle of pirate juice | 1 |
| #385 | bottle of rhinoceros hormones | 1 |
| #340 | bottle of sake | 1 |
| #550 | bottle of sewage schnapps | 3 |
| #1066 | bottle of single-barrel whiskey | 1 |
| #3380 | box of sunshine | 21 |
| #250 | brainy skull | 1 |
| #41 | brazen bracelet | 1 |
| #295 | bucket of honey | 2 |
| #247 | calle de miel with a fly in it | 1 |
| #956 | can of spinach | 1 |
| #1140 | candied kobold | 1 |
| #855 | candy brain | 1 |
| #1999 | candy kneecapping stick | 1 |
| #1855 | candy knuckles | 1 |
| #1660 | cheap toaster | 1 |
| #938 | chocolate-covered diamond-studded roses | 1 |
| #579 | chocolate-covered scarab beetle | 1 |
| #820 | chopsticks | 1 |
| #295 | chrome ore | 19 |
| #522 | club necklace | 13 |
| #557 | concentrated garbage juice | 1 |
| 🥉 | control crystal | 1 |
| #570 | corncob pipe | 1 |
| #1180 | corpsedriver | 3 |
| #1808 | corpsetini | 1 |
| #91 | crusty hula hoop | 5 |
| #200 | cube of billiard chalk | 1 |
| #599 | cup of infinite pencils | 1 |
| #268 | cyclops eyedrops | 1 |
| #697 | diamond necklace | 10 |
| #1712 | disco mask | 1 |
| #578 | distilled fortified wine | 3 |
| #655 | donkey flipbook | 1 |
| #931 | draggin' ball hat | 1 |
| #264 | dragon snaps | 2 |
| #256 | duct tape wallet | 1 |
| #425 | dwarvish magazine | 1 |
| #3268 | easter egg balloon | 4 |
| #209 | elephant stinger | 1 |
| #1839 | elven cellocello | 7 |
| #882 | elven suicide capsule | 21 |
| #701 | empty agua de vida bottle | 122 |
| #313 | epic wad | 1 |
| #215 | eye of the Tiger-lily | 1 |
| #761 | fake blood | 1 |
| #847 | fancy bath salts | 1 |
| #377 | fancy canapés | 1 |
| #88 | fancy chocolate car | 34 |
| #923 | fat stacks of cash | 4 |
| #692 | [2426]fire flower | 1 |
| #141 | fishy fish | 1 |
| #859 | floaty sand | 3 |
| #281 | freezerburned ice cube | 1 |
| #4728 | fuzzy dice | 1 |
| #659 | gas balloon | 1 |
| #530 | gator skin | 3 |
| #398 | giant glass of brandy | 1 |
| #1493 | gloomy black mushroom | 1 |
| #2779 | golden ring | 1 |
| #122 | grease gun | 1 |
| #165 | gummi belemnite | 1 |
| #1279 | handful of hand chalk | 1 |
| #646 | happiness | 1 |
| #3379 | heart necklace | 1 |
| #1043 | heart-shaped balloon | 2 |
| #1253 | herringcello | 15 |
| #689 | invisible bag | 1 |
| #1282 | iron pasta spoon | 1 |
| #201 | irradiated pet snacks | 1 |
| #43 | jar of anniversary jam | 1 |
| #1861 | jawbruiser | 1 |
| #1898 | kneecapping stick | 1 |
| #186 | lawn dart | 2 |
| #178 | leftover Crimbo rations | 1 |
| #171 | letterman's jacket | 1 |
| #1828 | licorice garrote | 1 |
| #280 | linoleum ore | 19 |
| #71 | lollipop cufflinks | 1 |
| #250 | lump of coal | 1 |
| #155 | lump of diamond | 24 |
| #2078 | mafia aria | 1 |
| #490 | magilaser blastercannon | 1 |
| #235 | mandarina colada with a fly in it | 1 |
| #832 | maple syrup | 1 |
| #629 | megatofu | 1 |
| #105 | misfit hobby horse | 1 |
| #491 | mulled cider | 1 |
| #340 | mummy costume | 18 |
| #123 | nurse's hat | 1 |
| #189 | old school flying disc | 2 |
| #9 | oyster egg balloon | 232 |
| #471 | pack of KWE trading card | 7 |
| #1238 | passable elf mask | 4 |
| #1669 | penguin focaccia bread | 6 |
| #236 | perpendicular hula with a fly in it | 1 |
| #638 | petrified wood | 11 |
| #508 | pile of gold coins | 1 |
| #1231 | pocketwatch on a chain | 1 |
| #459 | poison pen | 4 |
| #530 | poltergeist-in-the-jar-o | 1 |
| #49 | poodle skirt | 5 |
| #143 | potato pistol | 1 |
| #239 | powdered donut | 4 |
| #199 | powdered wig | 1 |
| #53 | pregnant oily golden mushroom | 2 |
| #243 | prussian cathouse with a fly in it | 1 |
| #488 | pumpkinhead mask | 13 |
| #97 | red wagon | 5 |
| #274 | ribbon candy | 3 |
| #609 | rice bowl | 1 |
| #68 | rickety old unicycle | 1 |
| #182 | rockin' wagon with a fly in it | 1 |
| #785 | rubber WWBD? bracelet | 10 |
| #1107 | rubber WWJD? bracelet | 7 |
| #1121 | rubber WWSPD? bracelet | 7 |
| #497 | rubber WWtNSD? bracelet | 14 |
| #459 | sabre-toothed lime cub | 1 |
| #115 | sausage wonton | 1 |
| #378 | scented massage oil | 3 |
| #397 | sewer nuggets | 22 |
| #368 | shimmering rainbow sand | 1 |
| #2957 | shiny ring | 1 |
| #230 | shot of blackberry schnapps | 1 |
| #304 | shot of flower schnapps | 1 |
| #719 | shot of grapefruit schnapps | 1 |
| #257 | shot of nepenthe schnapps | 1 |
| #699 | shot of orange schnapps | 1 |
| #172 | shot of peach schnapps | 1 |
| #166 | shot of pear schnapps | 1 |
| #746 | shot of tomato schnapps | 1 |
| #309 | shrinking powder | 1 |
| #190 | six-pack of New Cloaca-Cola | 1 |
| #237 | slap and tickle with a fly in it | 1 |
| #509 | slimy fermented bile bladder | 1 |
| #463 | slimy sweetbreads | 1 |
| #1016 | smart skull | 1 |
| #2837 | solid gold bowling ball | 1 |
| #625 | solid gold pegleg | 2 |
| #902 | spade necklace | 8 |
| #106 | spandex anniversary shorts | 1 |
| #1072 | spooky bark | 1 |
| #539 | spooky hockey mask | 3 |
| #624 | spooky sap | 12 |
| #1819 | stolen accordion | 1 |
| #336 | stolen office supplies | 4 |
| #462 | stone of eXtreme power | 20 |
| #408 | stuffed Hodgman | 1 |
| #53 | stuffed can of asparagus | 1,422 |
| #123 | sugar chapeau | 1 |
| #101 | sugar shank | 1 |
| #175 | sugar shard | 11 |
| #338 | sugar sheet | 1 |
| #185 | sugar shield | 1 |
| #80 | sugar shillelagh | 1 |
| #119 | sugar shirt | 1 |
| #148 | sugar shorts | 1 |
| #104 | sugar shotgun | 1 |
| #1488 | support cummerbund | 1 |
| #285 | sword behind inappropriate prepositions | 1 |
| #222 | tangarita with a fly in it | 1 |
| #391 | tasty tart | 3 |
| #763 | teddy bear | 8 |
| #1375 | teddy borg | 3 |
| #536 | teeny-tiny magic scroll | 1 |
| #39 | teflon ore | 23 |
| #361 | thermos of brew | 1 |
| #927 | throwing wrench | 5 |
| #142 | tighty whiteys | 1 |
| #86 | tiny plastic 11 Dealer | 7 |
| #85 | tiny plastic Crimbo Casino | 6 |
| #79 | tiny plastic Crimbomination | 6 |
| #91 | tiny plastic Don Crimbo | 6 |
| #1018 | tiny plastic fat stack of cash | 1 |
| #91 | tiny plastic stocking mimic | 6 |
| #1272 | toast | 366 |
| #107 | tofu stir-fry | 1 |
| #134 | tofu wonton | 1 |
| #277 | ultimate ultimate frisbee | 1 |
| #177 | unfortunate dumplings | 1 |
| #1804 | valuable trinket | 10 |
| #496 | wad of cotton | 5 |
| #217 | wad of slimy rags | 1 |
| #697 | wad of tofu | 1 |
| #415 | white rice | 1 |
| #613 | witch hat | 1 |
| #589 | wolfman mask | 10 |
| #552 | worn tophat | 1 |
| #227 | ye olde golde frontes | 1 |
| #335 | yellow brick road | 1 |
| 🥇 | yield shield | 1 |