| #410 | Aluminum Epsilon of Humility | 1 |
| #231 | Arrrmetia trading card | 1 |
| #75 | Bag o' Tricks | 1 |
| #368 | Better Than Cuddling Cake | 5 |
| #74 | Breathetastic™ Premium Canned Air | 22 |
| #24 | Brimstone Bracelet | 1 |
| #32 | Brimstone Brooch | 1 |
| #791 | CRIMBCOIDS mints | 5 |
| #369 | CRIMBCOLOAF | 7 |
| #399 | Cookbook of the Damned | 1 |
| #446 | Copper Alpha of Sincerity | 5 |
| #1004 | Feng Shui for Big Dumb Idiots | 1 |
| #530 | Frosty's frosty mug | 2 |
| #888 | Green Clover of Justice | 2 |
| #678 | Happy Birthday, Claude! cake | 1 |
| #665 | Hodgman's blanket | 1 |
| #57 | Hodgman's journal #3: Pumping Tin | 2 |
| #166 | Hodgman's journal #4: View From The Big Top | 1 |
| #1283 | Iron Beta of Industry | 2 |
| #62 | Juju Mojo Mask | 1 |
| #226 | Lead Zeta of Chastity | 1 |
| #69 | Mint Salton Pepper's Peppermint Seed Catalog | 1 |
| #92 | Mr. Accessory Jr. | 1 |
| #1568 | Nickel Gamma of Frugality | 1 |
| #1266 | Orange Star of Sacrifice | 1 |
| #525 | Order of the Silver Wossname | 1 |
| #313 | Pink Heart of Spirit | 3 |
| #233 | Princess Rutabaga trading card | 1 |
| #96 | Retenez L'Herbe Paté | 15 |
| #45 | Staff of the Black Kettle | 2 |
| #6 | Staff of the Deepest Freeze | 1 |
| #34 | Staff of the Kitchen Floor | 1 |
| #65 | Staff of the Short Order Cook | 1 |
| #20 | Staff of the Teapot Tempest | 3 |
| #49 | Staff of the Walk-In Freezer | 1 |
| #35 | Staff of the Well-Tempered Cauldron | 2 |
| #14 | Staff of the Woodfire | 1 |
| #851 | The Big Book of Pirate Insults | 1 |
| #214 | The Grand Poo-Bah trading card | 1 |
| #301 | The Necbronomicon | 1 |
| #248 | Uranium Omega of Temperance | 1 |
| #1612 | Yellow Moon of Compassion | 1 |
| #653 | Zinc Delta of Tranquility | 2 |
| #769 | aspirin | 1 |
| #1924 | awful poetry journal | 1 |
| #147 | bag of lard | 8 |
| #727 | banana | 4 |
| #92 | birthday party jellybean cheesecake | 1 |
| #132 | black lotus | 1 |
| #2563 | black paisley oyster egg | 1 |
| #2109 | black plastic oyster egg | 1 |
| #1166 | black striped oyster egg | 4 |
| #924 | blob-shaped Crimbo cookie | 7 |
| #1650 | blood flower | 1 |
| #1029 | blue paisley oyster egg | 4 |
| #2375 | blue polka-dot oyster egg | 1 |
| #301 | blue striped oyster egg | 14 |
| #72 | bottle-rocket crossbow | 1 |
| #485 | bouquet of circular saw blades | 2 |
| #296 | bowl of fishysoisse | 3 |
| #215 | box of sunshine | 1,980 |
| #1173 | can-shaped gelatinous cranberry sauce | 7 |
| #781 | candied yams | 11 |
| #4785 | candy cane | 1 |
| #1061 | candy kneecapping stick | 3 |
| #1782 | candy stake | 4 |
| #466 | carbonated water lily | 4 |
| #167 | carob chunk noodles | 12 |
| #938 | chocolate-covered diamond-studded roses | 1 |
| #249 | chorizo brownies | 8 |
| #103 | cold wad | 50 |
| #383 | concentrated garbage juice | 2 |
| #118 | daisy | 100 |
| #615 | deadly lampshade | 1 |
| #480 | dire fudgesicle | 1 |
| #384 | distilled fortified wine | 6 |
| #1854 | disturbing fanfic | 1 |
| 🥈 | dry martini | 1,774 |
| #13 | dry vodka martini | 160 |
| #1944 | facsimile dictionary | 1 |
| #83 | fairy-worn boots | 1 |
| #10 | flaming pink shirt | 1 |
| #466 | gingerbread mutant bugbear | 8 |
| #129 | gold star | 11 |
| #362 | green beer | 39 |
| #1159 | green candy heart | 1 |
| #324 | guy made of bee pollen | 9 |
| #53 | haiku katana | 2 |
| #399 | half-orchid | 1 |
| #183 | handful of Crotchety Pine needles | 1 |
| #1135 | herbal stuffing | 6 |
| #183 | hobo fortress blueprints | 1 |
| #156 | hot wad | 51 |
| #1396 | irradiated candy cane | 4 |
| #411 | jar of fermented pickle juice | 4 |
| #1861 | jawbruiser | 1 |
| #594 | jerky coins | 27 |
| #87 | jewel-eyed wizard hat | 1 |
| #498 | kickback cookbook | 1 |
| #1085 | lavender paisley oyster egg | 3 |
| #2029 | lavender polka-dot oyster egg | 1 |
| #478 | lavender striped oyster egg | 5 |
| #308 | lesser grodulated violet | 5 |
| #937 | lewd playing card | 1 |
| #179 | long-stemmed rose | 12 |
| #26 | magnetic field | 1 |
| #28 | martini | 654 |
| #726 | mauve paisley oyster egg | 4 |
| #400 | mauve polka-dot oyster egg | 8 |
| #170 | mauve striped oyster egg | 18 |
| #740 | nanite-infested candy cane | 16 |
| #1927 | nanite-infested eggnog | 3 |
| #1397 | nanite-infested fruitcake | 4 |
| #2028 | nanite-infested gingerbread bugbear | 3 |
| #33 | navel ring of navel gazing | 1 |
| #7 | origami pasties | 1 |
| #1886 | oyster basket | 1 |
| #802 | pack of KWE trading card | 4 |
| #581 | panhandle panhandling hat | 1 |
| #370 | papaya taco | 3 |
| #1464 | penguin thesaurus | 1 |
| #402 | personalized birthday cake | 4 |
| #330 | phish stick | 3 |
| #117 | plexiglass pants | 2 |
| #327 | plexiglass pikestaff | 1 |
| #106 | plexiglass pinky ring | 2 |
| #289 | plexiglass pith helmet | 1 |
| #90 | plexiglass pocketwatch | 2 |
| #1588 | pretty flower | 4 |
| #1561 | puce polka-dot oyster egg | 2 |
| #1513 | red paisley oyster egg | 2 |
| #1841 | red plastic oyster egg | 2 |
| #837 | red polka-dot oyster egg | 4 |
| #639 | red striped oyster egg | 4 |
| #26 | scratch 'n' sniff dragon sticker | 2,345 |
| #555 | spooky bindle | 1 |
| #568 | stainless steel scarf | 6 |
| #2241 | stainless steel shillelagh | 1 |
| #2143 | stainless steel skullcap | 1 |
| #772 | stainless steel solitaire | 4 |
| #686 | stick of "gum" | 2 |
| #167 | stuffed martini | 58 |
| #661 | stuffed ninja snowman | 6 |
| #29 | tapped black lotus | 1 |
| #177 | thermos full of Knob coffee | 4 |
| #353 | tin cup of mulligan stew | 3 |
| #925 | tombstone-shaped Crimboween cookie | 2 |
| #393 | toothbrush | 1 |
| #664 | towel | 12 |
| #202 | triangular CRIMBCOOKIE | 6 |
| #617 | tropical orchid | 1 |
| #727 | urinal cake | 1 |
| #100 | vodka gibson | 1 |
| #21 | vodka martini | 520 |
| #2817 | yellow plastic oyster egg | 1 |
| #880 | yellow polka-dot oyster egg | 2 |
| #1061 | yellow striped oyster egg | 2 |