| #1435 | 1-ball | 1 |
| #1424 | 2-ball | 1 |
| #1452 | 3-ball | 1 |
| #1110 | 4-ball | 2 |
| #1775 | 8-ball | 3 |
| #123 | Angry Farmer candy | 1,377 |
| #926 | Boris's ring | 1 |
| #283 | Cloaca grenade | 61 |
| #210 | Cloaca-Cola | 197 |
| #320 | Cloaca-Cola c-rations | 11 |
| #1060 | Cloaca-Cola fatigues | 2 |
| #756 | Cloaca-Cola helmet | 3 |
| #499 | Cloaca-Cola knapsack | 4 |
| #1426 | Cloaca-Cola shield | 1 |
| #610 | Cloaca-Cola-issue combat knife | 1 |
| #773 | Crimboween memo | 14 |
| #436 | Doc's Miracle Cure | 2 |
| #1000 | Dyspepsi grenade | 8 |
| #972 | Dyspepsi-Cola | 44 |
| #312 | Dyspepsi-Cola d-rations | 10 |
| #998 | Dyspepsi-Cola fatigues | 2 |
| #284 | Dyspepsi-Cola knapsack | 10 |
| #725 | Dyspepsi-Cola shield | 3 |
| #580 | Dyspepsi-Cola-issue canteen | 1 |
| #80 | Mick's IcyVapoHotness Rub | 1,413 |
| #1461 | Retenez L'Herbe Paté | 1 |
| #79 | Warm Subject gift certificate | 3,289 |
| #1487 | Yummy Tummy bean | 87 |
| #1654 | ancient unspeakable fruitcake | 4 |
| #227 | anniversary chutney sculpture | 1 |
| #170 | aspirin | 5 |
| #559 | atomic vector plotter | 5 |
| #138 | awful poetry journal | 1,394 |
| #2041 | baconstone | 2 |
| #471 | ball | 13 |
| #337 | bell-shaped Crimbo cookie | 3 |
| #681 | blood flower | 9 |
| #547 | can of fake snow | 1 |
| #2973 | can-shaped gelatinous cranberry sauce | 1 |
| #2358 | candied yams | 2 |
| #2436 | candy cane | 8 |
| #1214 | capacitor relay | 5 |
| #769 | carbon nanotube frame | 12 |
| #457 | casino pass | 5 |
| #187 | chaos butterfly | 1,527 |
| #1338 | cheap plastic bottle opener | 3 |
| #661 | chunk of depleted Grimacite | 14 |
| #508 | colored-light "necklace" | 1 |
| #527 | computronic processing unit | 5 |
| #158 | disturbing fanfic | 1,391 |
| #207 | doll house | 28 |
| #103 | duck-on-a-string | 19 |
| #1555 | eggnog | 6 |
| #1694 | evil teddy bear | 4 |
| #567 | felt | 16 |
| #76 | giant needle | 1,340 |
| #3304 | gingerbread bugbear | 2 |
| #498 | googly eye | 27 |
| 🥈 | green traffic cone | 1 |
| #2081 | herbal stuffing | 2 |
| #1114 | kite | 5 |
| #656 | length of string | 17 |
| #1942 | loaded serum blowgun | 1 |
| #88 | marionette | 13 |
| #523 | oriole-feather headdress | 2 |
| #338 | pet rock | 22 |
| #394 | picture of a dead guy's girlfriend | 2 |
| #73 | procrastination potion | 1,480 |
| #144 | rag doll | 13 |
| #366 | ring of adornment | 1 |
| #1127 | ring of aggravate monster | 1 |
| #352 | ring of cold resistance | 1 |
| #338 | ring of fire resistance | 1 |
| #340 | ring of gain strength | 1 |
| #1135 | ring of half-assed regeneration | 1 |
| #415 | ring of increase damage | 1 |
| #106 | seal tooth | 324 |
| #2313 | shiny ring | 3 |
| #597 | sleeping snowy owl | 4 |
| #325 | sock monkey | 9 |
| #905 | stuffed doppelshifter | 11 |
| #722 | stuffing | 12 |
| #131 | teddy bear | 50 |
| #110 | thin black candle | 3,336 |
| 🥇 | time sleigh | 1 |
| #325 | tiny Mountie hat | 1 |
| #116 | tiny balloon knife | 6 |
| #941 | tiny house | 68 |
| #122 | tiny knife and fork | 5 |
| #225 | tiny maracas | 4 |
| #321 | tiny ninja sword | 3 |
| #96 | tiny nose-bone fetish | 1 |
| #1280 | tiny plastic Cheshire bat | 14 |
| #820 | tiny plastic Crimbo elf | 12 |
| #529 | tiny plastic Crimbo reindeer | 18 |
| #355 | tiny plastic Crimbo wreath | 9 |
| #1548 | tiny plastic Crimboween pentagram | 1 |
| #1530 | tiny plastic Scream Queen | 1 |
| #50 | tiny plastic Sneaky Pete | 1 |
| #49 | tiny plastic Susie | 1 |
| #344 | tiny plastic Uncle Crimbo | 9 |
| #1347 | tiny plastic accordion thief | 4 |
| #1731 | tiny plastic ancient yuletide troll | 1 |
| #565 | tiny plastic angry goat | 29 |
| #1058 | tiny plastic baby gravy fairy | 17 |
| #1052 | tiny plastic barrrnacle | 17 |
| #987 | tiny plastic bitchin' meatcar | 5 |
| #875 | tiny plastic blood-faced volleyball | 20 |
| #2003 | tiny plastic cocoabo | 9 |
| #1817 | tiny plastic coffee pixie | 10 |
| #4490 | tiny plastic disco bandit | 1 |
| #932 | tiny plastic fuzzy dice | 19 |
| #1113 | tiny plastic ghost pickle on a stick | 16 |
| #1213 | tiny plastic ghuol whelp | 15 |
| #1736 | tiny plastic gift-wrapping vampire | 1 |
| #1838 | tiny plastic grue | 10 |
| #2703 | tiny plastic hermit | 2 |
| #1509 | tiny plastic howling balloon monkey | 12 |
| #1374 | tiny plastic killer bee | 13 |
| #1153 | tiny plastic leprechaun | 16 |
| #839 | tiny plastic levitating potato | 21 |
| #1810 | tiny plastic mosquito | 10 |
| #1341 | tiny plastic pastamancer | 4 |
| #899 | tiny plastic sabre-toothed lime | 19 |
| #1808 | tiny plastic sauceror | 3 |
| #839 | tiny plastic seal clubber | 6 |
| #1557 | tiny plastic skeletal reindeer | 1 |
| #1534 | tiny plastic spooky pirate skeleton | 12 |
| #2233 | tiny plastic stab bat | 8 |
| #767 | tiny plastic star starfish | 22 |
| #940 | tiny plastic sweet nutcracker | 10 |
| #846 | tiny plastic turtle tamer | 6 |
| #571 | tiny shaker of salt | 4 |
| #99 | toast | 24,641 |
| #1904 | tofurkey gravy | 3 |
| #2297 | tofurkey leg | 2 |
| #463 | top | 10 |
| #2401 | toy crazy train | 1 |
| #1072 | toy jet pack | 5 |
| #897 | toy mercenary | 6 |
| #1342 | toy ray gun | 4 |
| #333 | toy soldier | 5 |
| #1142 | toy space helmet | 5 |
| #71 | toy train | 20 |
| #19 | toy wheel | 271 |
| #479 | tree skirt | 1 |
| #1887 | tree-eating kite | 7 |
| #524 | tree-shaped Crimbo cookie | 2 |
| #1135 | tropical wrapping paper | 1 |
| #1914 | vampire duck-on-a-string | 2 |
| #193 | wooden block | 16 |
| #231 | wreath-shaped Crimbo cookie | 4 |
| #604 | yo | 15 |
| #652 | yo-yo | 41 |
| #1200 | zombie pineal gland | 3 |