| #1438 | 1-ball | 1 |
| #1427 | 2-ball | 1 |
| #1457 | 3-ball | 1 |
| #1113 | 4-ball | 2 |
| #1778 | 8-ball | 3 |
| #124 | Angry Farmer candy | 1,377 |
| #924 | Boris's ring | 1 |
| #285 | Cloaca grenade | 61 |
| #212 | Cloaca-Cola | 197 |
| #321 | Cloaca-Cola c-rations | 11 |
| #1061 | Cloaca-Cola fatigues | 2 |
| #757 | Cloaca-Cola helmet | 3 |
| #498 | Cloaca-Cola knapsack | 4 |
| #1429 | Cloaca-Cola shield | 1 |
| #612 | Cloaca-Cola-issue combat knife | 1 |
| #772 | Crimboween memo | 14 |
| #436 | Doc's Miracle Cure | 2 |
| #1003 | Dyspepsi grenade | 8 |
| #972 | Dyspepsi-Cola | 44 |
| #312 | Dyspepsi-Cola d-rations | 10 |
| #999 | Dyspepsi-Cola fatigues | 2 |
| #285 | Dyspepsi-Cola knapsack | 10 |
| #726 | Dyspepsi-Cola shield | 3 |
| #580 | Dyspepsi-Cola-issue canteen | 1 |
| #80 | Mick's IcyVapoHotness Rub | 1,413 |
| #1464 | Retenez L'Herbe Paté | 1 |
| #79 | Warm Subject gift certificate | 3,289 |
| #1486 | Yummy Tummy bean | 87 |
| #1652 | ancient unspeakable fruitcake | 4 |
| #227 | anniversary chutney sculpture | 1 |
| #170 | aspirin | 5 |
| #559 | atomic vector plotter | 5 |
| #138 | awful poetry journal | 1,394 |
| #2045 | baconstone | 2 |
| #470 | ball | 13 |
| #339 | bell-shaped Crimbo cookie | 3 |
| #682 | blood flower | 9 |
| #545 | can of fake snow | 1 |
| #2975 | can-shaped gelatinous cranberry sauce | 1 |
| #2359 | candied yams | 2 |
| #2436 | candy cane | 8 |
| #1215 | capacitor relay | 5 |
| #769 | carbon nanotube frame | 12 |
| #458 | casino pass | 5 |
| #188 | chaos butterfly | 1,527 |
| #1338 | cheap plastic bottle opener | 3 |
| #661 | chunk of depleted Grimacite | 14 |
| #507 | colored-light "necklace" | 1 |
| #527 | computronic processing unit | 5 |
| #158 | disturbing fanfic | 1,391 |
| #208 | doll house | 28 |
| #103 | duck-on-a-string | 19 |
| #1554 | eggnog | 6 |
| #1693 | evil teddy bear | 4 |
| #568 | felt | 16 |
| #76 | giant needle | 1,340 |
| #3306 | gingerbread bugbear | 2 |
| #501 | googly eye | 27 |
| 🥈 | green traffic cone | 1 |
| #2084 | herbal stuffing | 2 |
| #1114 | kite | 5 |
| #656 | length of string | 17 |
| #1942 | loaded serum blowgun | 1 |
| #88 | marionette | 13 |
| #523 | oriole-feather headdress | 2 |
| #338 | pet rock | 22 |
| #397 | picture of a dead guy's girlfriend | 2 |
| #73 | procrastination potion | 1,480 |
| #145 | rag doll | 13 |
| #368 | ring of adornment | 1 |
| #1131 | ring of aggravate monster | 1 |
| #353 | ring of cold resistance | 1 |
| #338 | ring of fire resistance | 1 |
| #341 | ring of gain strength | 1 |
| #1135 | ring of half-assed regeneration | 1 |
| #414 | ring of increase damage | 1 |
| #106 | seal tooth | 324 |
| #2313 | shiny ring | 3 |
| #598 | sleeping snowy owl | 4 |
| #324 | sock monkey | 9 |
| #906 | stuffed doppelshifter | 11 |
| #723 | stuffing | 12 |
| #131 | teddy bear | 50 |
| #110 | thin black candle | 3,336 |
| 🥇 | time sleigh | 1 |
| #325 | tiny Mountie hat | 1 |
| #116 | tiny balloon knife | 6 |
| #939 | tiny house | 68 |
| #122 | tiny knife and fork | 5 |
| #225 | tiny maracas | 4 |
| #321 | tiny ninja sword | 3 |
| #96 | tiny nose-bone fetish | 1 |
| #1282 | tiny plastic Cheshire bat | 14 |
| #822 | tiny plastic Crimbo elf | 12 |
| #529 | tiny plastic Crimbo reindeer | 18 |
| #356 | tiny plastic Crimbo wreath | 9 |
| #1550 | tiny plastic Crimboween pentagram | 1 |
| #1530 | tiny plastic Scream Queen | 1 |
| #51 | tiny plastic Sneaky Pete | 1 |
| #49 | tiny plastic Susie | 1 |
| #344 | tiny plastic Uncle Crimbo | 9 |
| #1348 | tiny plastic accordion thief | 4 |
| #1733 | tiny plastic ancient yuletide troll | 1 |
| #567 | tiny plastic angry goat | 29 |
| #1061 | tiny plastic baby gravy fairy | 17 |
| #1055 | tiny plastic barrrnacle | 17 |
| #990 | tiny plastic bitchin' meatcar | 5 |
| #877 | tiny plastic blood-faced volleyball | 20 |
| #2009 | tiny plastic cocoabo | 9 |
| #1824 | tiny plastic coffee pixie | 10 |
| #4497 | tiny plastic disco bandit | 1 |
| #935 | tiny plastic fuzzy dice | 19 |
| #1115 | tiny plastic ghost pickle on a stick | 16 |
| #1216 | tiny plastic ghuol whelp | 15 |
| #1738 | tiny plastic gift-wrapping vampire | 1 |
| #1842 | tiny plastic grue | 10 |
| #2707 | tiny plastic hermit | 2 |
| #1515 | tiny plastic howling balloon monkey | 12 |
| #1376 | tiny plastic killer bee | 13 |
| #1156 | tiny plastic leprechaun | 16 |
| #842 | tiny plastic levitating potato | 21 |
| #1815 | tiny plastic mosquito | 10 |
| #1345 | tiny plastic pastamancer | 4 |
| #901 | tiny plastic sabre-toothed lime | 19 |
| #1814 | tiny plastic sauceror | 3 |
| #841 | tiny plastic seal clubber | 6 |
| #1559 | tiny plastic skeletal reindeer | 1 |
| #1542 | tiny plastic spooky pirate skeleton | 12 |
| #2236 | tiny plastic stab bat | 8 |
| #769 | tiny plastic star starfish | 22 |
| #941 | tiny plastic sweet nutcracker | 10 |
| #851 | tiny plastic turtle tamer | 6 |
| #571 | tiny shaker of salt | 4 |
| #99 | toast | 24,641 |
| #1903 | tofurkey gravy | 3 |
| #2296 | tofurkey leg | 2 |
| #464 | top | 10 |
| #2400 | toy crazy train | 1 |
| #1072 | toy jet pack | 5 |
| #897 | toy mercenary | 6 |
| #1342 | toy ray gun | 4 |
| #333 | toy soldier | 5 |
| #1142 | toy space helmet | 5 |
| #71 | toy train | 20 |
| #19 | toy wheel | 271 |
| #478 | tree skirt | 1 |
| #1887 | tree-eating kite | 7 |
| #525 | tree-shaped Crimbo cookie | 2 |
| #1132 | tropical wrapping paper | 1 |
| #1912 | vampire duck-on-a-string | 2 |
| #194 | wooden block | 16 |
| #234 | wreath-shaped Crimbo cookie | 4 |
| #604 | yo | 15 |
| #652 | yo-yo | 41 |
| #1201 | zombie pineal gland | 3 |