| #54 | Bastille Battalion cheese wheel | 1 |
| #52 | Bastille Battalion control rig loaner voucher | 1 |
| #33 | Bastille Battalion tattoo kit | 1 |
| #811 | Blizzards I Have Died In | 1 |
| #1736 | Breathetastic™ Premium Canned Air | 1 |
| #105 | Carol of the Bulls | 1 |
| #104 | Carol of the Hells | 1 |
| #132 | Crimbeau de toilette | 1 |
| #159 | Crimbo candle | 1 |
| #81 | Crimbo tattoo kit | 1 |
| #58 | Crimbolex watch | 2 |
| #179 | Crimboysters Rockefeller | 1 |
| #105 | Ghost Pinching Quarterly | 1 |
| #136 | Hodgman's journal #1: The Lean Times | 1 |
| #125 | Hodgman's journal #2: Entrepreneurythmics | 1 |
| #26 | How To Get Bigger Without Really Trying | 1 |
| #14 | Illustrated Mating Rituals of the Gallapagos | 2 |
| #836 | Kissin' Cousins | 1 |
| #24 | Love Potions and the Wizards who Mix Them | 1 |
| 🥉 | LyleCo Contractor's Manual | 1 |
| #22 | Manual of Numberology | 1 |
| #977 | Microplushie: Bropane | 1 |
| #835 | Microplushie: Dorkonide | 1 |
| #887 | Microplushie: Ermahgerdic Acid | 1 |
| #746 | Microplushie: Fauxnerditide | 1 |
| #980 | Microplushie: Gothochondria | 1 |
| #995 | Microplushie: Hippylase | 1 |
| #576 | Microplushie: Hipsterine | 1 |
| #914 | Microplushie: Hobomosome | 1 |
| #1004 | Microplushie: Otakulone | 1 |
| #948 | Microplushie: Raverdrine | 1 |
| #957 | Microplushie: Sororitrate | 1 |
| #172 | Mr. Accessory | 1 |
| #92 | Mr. Accessory Jr. | 1 |
| #212 | Ralph IX cognac | 1 |
| #26 | Silly Little Love Song | 1 |
| #11 | Sister Accessory | 1 |
| #7 | The Author's ink | 1 |
| #85 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 1 | 1 |
| #80 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 2 | 1 |
| #76 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 3 | 1 |
| #67 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 4 | 1 |
| #81 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 5 | 1 |
| #76 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 6 | 1 |
| #102 | The Snitch's Manifesto | 1 |
| #98 | The Thorax's Codex of Tormenting Plants | 1 |
| #22 | They'll Love You In Rhinestones | 1 |
| #829 | Thwaitgold ant statuette | 1 |
| #196 | Thwaitgold chigger statuette | 7 |
| #152 | Thwaitgold masked hunter statuette | 3 |
| 🥉 | Thwaitgold metabug statuette | 14 |
| #259 | Thwaitgold nit statuette | 1 |
| #623 | Thwaitgold praying mantis statuette | 1 |
| #1024 | Thwaitgold termite statuette | 2 |
| #125 | Van der Graaf helmet | 1 |
| #203 | alien source code printout | 1 |
| #164 | bottle of Crimbognac | 1 |
| #17 | bowl of Bounty-Os | 49 |
| #2110 | chunk of depleted Grimacite | 1 |
| #1606 | dollhive | 1 |
| #7 | fishbone fins | 1 |
| #55 | frying brainpan | 1 |
| #63 | jar of psychoses (Jick) | 1 |
| #48 | jar of psychoses (The Captain of the Gourd) | 1 |
| #50 | jar of psychoses (The Crackpot Mystic) | 1 |
| #44 | jar of psychoses (The Meatsmith) | 1 |
| #47 | jar of psychoses (The Old Man) | 1 |
| #43 | jar of psychoses (The Pretentious Artist) | 1 |
| #68 | mafia middle finger ring | 1 |
| #79 | mafia pinky ring | 1 |
| #31 | mafia pointer finger ring | 1 |
| #595 | magical pony: Uniquity | 1 |
| #81 | mimeplasm | 1 |
| #234 | still-beating spleen | 1 |
| #1711 | sturdy Crimbo crate | 1 |
| #164 | time's arrow | 1 |
| #48 | training scroll: Shivering Monkey Technique | 1 |
| #247 | warehouse key | 1 |
| #102 | yule pup | 1 |