| #269 | "DRINK ME" potion | 76 |
| #1433 | 5-ball | 1 |
| #140 | 5-hour acrimony | 1 |
| #141 | Asleep in the Cemetery | 9 |
| #350 | BRICKO eye brick | 9 |
| #562 | BURT | 7 |
| #615 | Bash-Ōs boxtop | 1 |
| #75 | Bowlet | 1 |
| #36 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 1) (used) | 1 |
| #33 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 2) (used) | 1 |
| #35 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 3) (used) | 1 |
| #32 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 4) (used) | 1 |
| #32 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 5) (used) | 1 |
| #6 | Celsius 233 (singed) | 1 |
| #117 | Chester's Aquarius medallion | 1 |
| #179 | Chester's bag of candy | 1 |
| #452 | Chroner | 14 |
| #154 | Coinspiracy | 4 |
| #295 | Cold Hots candy | 24 |
| #81 | Cornbeefadon | 1 |
| #26 | Covers-Your-Head | 1 |
| #4 | Crimbot ROM: Mathematical Precision (dirty) | 1 |
| 🥈 | Crimbot ROM: Rapid Prototyping (dirty) | 1 |
| #4 | Crimbot ROM: Ruthless Efficiency (dirty) | 1 |
| #1321 | Crimbuck | 314 |
| #20 | Dinsey food-cone | 3 |
| #23 | Drunkula's cape | 1 |
| #12 | Drunkula's silky pants | 2 |
| #211 | Frosty's carrot | 1 |
| #16 | Frosty's iceball | 1 |
| #215 | Frosty's old silk hat | 1 |
| #120 | Frosty's snowball sack | 1 |
| #143 | FunFunds™ | 3 |
| #263 | Game Grid ticket | 2 |
| #12 | Game Grid valued membership card | 1 |
| #943 | Goodfella contract | 2 |
| #87 | Hodgman's almanac | 1 |
| #81 | Hodgman's cane | 1 |
| #130 | Hodgman's lobsterskin pants | 1 |
| #65 | Hodgman's lucky sock | 1 |
| #64 | Hodgman's metal detector | 1 |
| #144 | Hodgman's porkpie hat | 1 |
| #24 | Holiday Fun! | 354 |
| #6 | How to Hold a Grudge | 1 |
| #226 | Inner Strength | 2 |
| #83 | Inner Truth | 4 |
| #92 | Inner Wisdom | 4 |
| #836 | Kissin' Cousins | 1 |
| 🥈 | Krampus Horn | 1 |
| #251 | L.I.M.P. Stock Certificate | 81 |
| #32 | LOV Echinacea Bouquet | 1 |
| #47 | LOV Elephant | 1 |
| #46 | LOV Enamorang | 1 |
| #116 | LOV Entrance Pass | 1 |
| #52 | LOV Extraterrestrial Chocolate | 1 |
| #731 | Let Me Be! | 2 |
| #9 | Mark of the Bugbear | 26 |
| #13 | Mark of the Ghost | 23 |
| #7 | Mark of the Skeleton | 30 |
| #12 | Mark of the Vampire | 20 |
| #9 | Mark of the Werewolf | 29 |
| #13 | Mark of the Zombie | 21 |
| #94 | Maxing, Relaxing | 8 |
| #13 | Mayodiol | 10 |
| #17 | Mayoflex | 10 |
| #13 | Mayonex | 10 |
| #14 | Mayor Ghost's cloak | 2 |
| 🥈 | Mayor Ghost's khakis | 4 |
| #26 | Mayor Ghost's toupee | 1 |
| #9 | Mayostat | 11 |
| #7 | Mayozapine | 11 |
| 🥇 | Meatcleaver | 1 |
| #957 | Microplushie: Sororitrate | 1 |
| #13 | Northern pemmican | 54 |
| 🥈 | Official Council Aide Pin | 1 |
| #215 | Ol' Scratch's ash can | 1 |
| #127 | Ol' Scratch's infernal pitchfork | 1 |
| #101 | Ol' Scratch's manacles | 1 |
| #197 | Ol' Scratch's ol' britches | 1 |
| #93 | Ol' Scratch's stove door | 1 |
| #187 | Ol' Scratch's stovepipe hat | 1 |
| #187 | Oscus's dumpster waders | 1 |
| #8 | Oscus's neverending soda | 1 |
| #2356 | Pan-Dimensional Gargle Blaster | 1 |
| 🥇 | Pocket Meteor Guide (well-thumbed) | 1 |
| #83 | Purple Beast energy drink | 1 |
| #1905 | Rock Pops | 11 |
| #118 | Saccharine Maple pendant | 1 |
| #126 | Science Notebook | 1 |
| #1318 | Senior Mints | 1 |
| #357 | Sensual Massage for Creeps | 4 |
| #215 | Shore Inc. Ship Trip Scrip | 1 |
| 🥇 | Silver HP-35 Calculator | 1 |
| #50 | Spacegate Research | 49 |
| 🥇 | Spelunker's fedora | 1 |
| 🥇 | Spelunker's khakis | 1 |
| 🥇 | Spelunker's whip | 1 |
| 🥈 | Sword of Procedural Generation | 1 |
| #938 | Tales from the Fireside | 1 |
| #4 | Tales of Dread | 1 |
| #5 | The Big Book of Communism (used) | 1 |
| #65 | The Emperor's dry cleaning | 3 |
| #33 | The Emperor's new hat | 2 |
| #25 | The Emperor's new pants | 3 |
| #81 | The Emperor's new shirt | 1 |
| #4 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 1 (used) | 1 |
| #4 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 2 (used) | 1 |
| #5 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 3 (used) | 1 |
| #8 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 4 (used) | 1 |
| #7 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 5 (used) | 1 |
| #4 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 6 (used) | 1 |
| #6 | Thunkula's drinking cap | 3 |
| 🥇 | Time Bandit Badge of Courage | 1 |
| #79 | Travels with Jerry | 9 |
| #11 | Unmotivator: Crashed Meat Car | 87 |
| #12 | Unmotivator: Crashed Orca | 68 |
| #10 | Unmotivator: Success Warrior | 81 |
| #2088 | Valentine | 2 |
| #103 | Volcoino | 1 |
| #97 | Wal-Mart gift certificate | 9 |
| #6 | Warms-Your-Tush | 2 |
| #1629 | Wint-O-Fresh mint | 2 |
| #195 | Ze™ goggles | 10 |
| #17 | Zombo's empty eye | 1 |
| #182 | Zombo's grievous greaves | 1 |
| #188 | Zombo's shield | 1 |
| #105 | Zombo's shoulder blade | 1 |
| #112 | actual reality goggles | 18 |
| #14 | alien source code printout (used) | 1 |
| #34 | almost-dead walkie-talkie | 259 |
| #69 | anger blaster | 1 |
| #227 | anniversary chutney sculpture | 1 |
| #163 | asbestos stick | 1 |
| #49 | asteroid belt | 1 |
| #654 | banana peel | 1 |
| #1445 | battered Crimbo Crate | 2 |
| #161 | bed of coals | 5 |
| #61 | black and white cracker | 5 |
| #37 | black mana | 15 |
| #348 | black spot | 2 |
| #3304 | blob-shaped Crimbo cookie | 1 |
| #820 | blue class ring | 1 |
| #564 | bottle of Mystic Shell | 1 |
| #5028 | bottle of goofballs | 1 |
| #32 | bounty-hunting pants | 1 |
| #38 | bounty-hunting rifle | 1 |
| #3226 | box of sunshine | 24 |
| #231 | breath mint | 1 |
| #274 | brick | 142 |
| #314 | bubblin' crude | 14 |
| 🥇 | bucket of anniversary lard | 1 |
| #35 | bundle of "fragrant" herbs | 1 |
| #45 | bunny liver | 196 |
| #391 | can of Binarrrca | 24 |
| #901 | candied kobold | 2 |
| #706 | candy cane | 51 |
| #30 | candy dress shoes | 2 |
| #21 | candy necktie | 21 |
| #128 | cheer extractor | 1 |
| #109 | cheerful Crimbo sweater | 1 |
| #87 | cheerful antler hat | 1 |
| #86 | cheerful pajama pants | 1 |
| #38 | chewable paper | 57 |
| #178 | children of the candy corn | 1 |
| #12 | chocolate cow bone | 1 |
| #106 | chrome sword hilt | 2 |
| #43 | clumsiness bark | 52 |
| #86 | comfy coffin | 10 |
| #256 | confusing LED clock | 1 |
| #735 | corrupted data | 1 |
| #110 | creepy voodoo doll | 1 |
| #33 | crotchety pants | 2 |
| #563 | crystalline cheer | 3 |
| #148 | d12 | 2 |
| #130 | dangerous jerkcicle | 1 |
| #615 | deadly lampshade | 1 |
| #617 | designer handbag | 4 |
| #1470 | disassembled clover | 2 |
| #68 | doubt cannon | 1 |
| #30 | dropped scrap of paper | 11 |
| #4 | eldritch tincture (depleted) | 1 |
| #147 | eleven-foot pole | 1 |
| #2077 | elven cellocello | 1 |
| #1910 | elven suicide capsule | 1 |
| #1300 | empty agua de vida bottle | 1 |
| #50 | exploding cigar | 6 |
| #175 | faded green protest sign | 1 |
| #144 | faded red protest sign | 1 |
| #42 | fake cocktail | 1 |
| #1543 | fake hand | 3 |
| #116 | fancy bath salts | 203 |
| #42 | fancy calligraphy pen | 1 |
| #923 | fancy opera glasses | 1 |
| #358 | fat loot token | 2 |
| #62 | fear condenser | 1 |
| #99 | filth-encrusted futon | 7 |
| #587 | filthy lucre | 65 |
| #821 | flavored foot massage oil | 1 |
| #20 | foot-long hot daub | 1 |
| #984 | fudgecule | 93 |
| #20 | garbage sticker | 1 |
| #3934 | gingerbread bugbear | 1 |
| #24 | gingerbread gavel | 4 |
| #45 | gingerbread hoodie | 1 |
| #23 | gingerbread mask | 2 |
| #44 | gingerbread mug | 2 |
| #31 | gingerbread restraining order | 2 |
| #62 | gingerbread smartphone | 2 |
| #97 | glass of warm water | 2 |
| #123 | glob of spoiled mayo | 3 |
| #38 | golden gum | 195 |
| #29 | golden gun | 135 |
| #11 | golden tattoo gun | 3 |
| #163 | grass clippings | 4 |
| #531 | green clay bead | 11 |
| 🥉 | green face paint | 1 |
| #79 | green mana | 1 |
| #64 | heart cozy | 1 |
| #926 | heart necklace | 8 |
| #1453 | heart-shaped balloon | 1 |
| #1841 | herringcello | 2 |
| 🥉 | hobo code binder | 1 |
| #39 | hobo nickel | 5,953 |
| #18 | hot daub bun | 1 |
| #16 | hot daub stand | 1 |
| #311 | hushed puppy | 1 |
| #10 | ice baby | 1 |
| #90 | irresistibility potion | 6 |
| #95 | jar full of wind | 7 |
| #43 | jar of anniversary jam | 1 |
| #172 | killing jar | 1 |
| #59 | lump of not really wriggling eldritch matter | 1 |
| #210 | lunar isotope | 92 |
| #25 | mafia wedding ring | 1 |
| #653 | magical pony: Dusk Shiny | 1 |
| #20 | marshmallow | 18,723 |
| #42 | meteorb | 1 |
| #51 | meteorite guard | 1 |
| #58 | meteortarboard | 1 |
| #81 | meteorthopedic shoes | 1 |
| #127 | mime army camouflage kit | 1 |
| #71 | mime army challenge coin | 1 |
| #19 | mime army infiltration glove | 1 |
| #22 | mime army insignia (cryonics) | 1 |
| #25 | mime army insignia (espionage) | 1 |
| #24 | mime army insignia (infantry) | 1 |
| #25 | mime army insignia (intelligence) | 1 |
| #26 | mime army insignia (morale) | 1 |
| #17 | mime army insignia (psychological warfare) | 1 |
| #38 | mime army insignia (pyrotechnics) | 1 |
| #18 | mime army insignia (sanitation) | 1 |
| #150 | mime army rations | 2 |
| #151 | mime army superserum | 1 |
| #205 | mime army wine | 1 |
| #72 | mime pocket probe | 1 |
| 🥇 | mime-proof sunglasses | 1 |
| #78 | miming beret | 1 |
| #41 | miming boots | 2 |
| #100 | miming corduroys | 1 |
| #42 | miming gloves | 2 |
| #95 | miming shirt | 1 |
| #35 | muffled muffuletta | 7 |
| #992 | mummy costume | 1 |
| #265 | nega-mushroom | 2 |
| 🥇 | novelty monorail ticket | 1 |
| #28 | old candy wrapper | 125 |
| #384 | ornate picture frame | 1 |
| 🥇 | packet of thanksgarden seeds | 1 |
| #1748 | penguin focaccia bread | 3 |
| #736 | personal massager | 1 |
| #202 | personalized coffee mug | 368 |
| #809 | pink clay bead | 5 |
| #2047 | pixellated candy heart | 1 |
| #55 | pocket lint (white) | 1 |
| #530 | poltergeist-in-the-jar-o | 1 |
| #161 | pool torpedo | 6 |
| #108 | pretty flower | 4,773 |
| #1189 | procrastination potion | 1 |
| #61 | psychokinetic energy blob | 8 |
| #1101 | pumpkinhead mask | 1 |
| #15 | puppet strings | 66 |
| #525 | purple clay bead | 3 |
| #15 | purple corpsel | 19 |
| #174 | purple pixel pie | 5 |
| #37 | purple prose pen | 15 |
| #623 | purple snowcone | 7 |
| #28 | purple-frosted astral cupcake | 152 |
| 🥈 | record of infuriating silence (used) | 1 |
| 🥉 | record of menacing silence (used) | 1 |
| 🥈 | record of tranquil silence (used) | 1 |
| #627 | red class ring | 10 |
| 🥉 | red face paint | 1 |
| #27 | red mana | 36 |
| #137 | reflection of a map | 4 |
| #61 | regret hose | 1 |
| #116 | resolution: be luckier | 1 |
| #46 | rhinestone | 2,153 |
| #431 | roll of toilet paper | 203 |
| #272 | rose | 1 |
| #364 | round purple sunglasses | 10 |
| #3634 | rubber WWBD? bracelet | 1 |
| #62 | rubber gloves | 1 |
| #64 | s'more | 1,197 |
| #1479 | scroll of pasta summoning | 1 |
| #65 | sea cowbell | 1 |
| #136 | sea cucumber | 1 |
| 🥉 | sealskin drum | 1 |
| #48 | shooting morning star | 1 |
| #240 | shushed potatoes | 2 |
| #189 | silent O | 2 |
| 🥇 | silent nightlight | 1 |
| #124 | soggy used band-aid | 8 |
| #106 | spandex anniversary shorts | 1 |
| #3786 | spectre scepter | 1 |
| #296 | spiritual candy cane | 1 |
| #193 | spiritual fruitcake | 2 |
| #189 | spiritual gingerbread | 2 |
| #871 | spooky bark | 4 |
| #37 | sprinkles | 40,776 |
| #132 | stained mattress | 7 |
| #69 | string of moist beads | 1 |
| #1547 | sturdy Crimbo crate | 2 |
| #197 | stylish swimsuit | 5 |
| #116 | sugar shard | 57 |
| #290 | sugar sheet | 3 |
| #23 | tainted icing | 2 |
| #437 | tenderizing hammer | 2 |
| #65 | tiny plastic The Silent Nightmare | 1 |
| #241 | tiny plastic golden gundam | 3 |
| #71 | tiny plastic mime executive | 1 |
| #71 | tiny plastic mime functionary | 1 |
| #72 | tiny plastic mime scientist | 1 |
| #74 | tiny plastic mime soldier | 1 |
| #189 | topiary nugglet | 1 |
| #82 | transparent nog | 4 |
| #539 | twinkly nuggets | 1 |
| #266 | unfinished fruitcake | 1 |
| #169 | useless powder | 1,171 |
| #51 | vial of hot blood | 1 |
| 🥈 | walkie-talkie | 1 |
| #20 | warbear empathy chip (used) | 1 |
| #45 | warbear metalworking primer (used) | 1 |
| #423 | warbear procedural hilarity drone | 1 |
| #146 | watered-down Red Minotaur | 5 |
| #126 | wet venom duct | 2 |
| #747 | white class ring | 5 |
| #28 | white mana | 42 |
| #93 | white page | 2 |
| #91 | willowy bonnet | 1 |
| 🥇 | wriggling worm | 2,247 |
| #18 | zombie accordion | 1 |
| #5 | zombie mariachi hat | 3 |
| #28 | zombie mariachi pants | 1 |