Matt is me

RankItemQuantity
#9217-Foot Dwarven mattock1
#2230Ancient Saucehelm1
#834Angelhair Culottes1
#1229Argarggagarg's fang1
#69BRICKO hat1
#63BRICKO pants1
#61BRICKO sword1
#842Bandolier of the Spaghetti Elemental1
#908Bling of the New Wave1
🥈C.B.F.G.1
#163Cerebral Cloche1
#312Cerebral Crossbow1
#188Cerebral Culottes1
#182Chester's bag of candy1
#174Chester's cutoffs1
#185Chester's moustache1
#740Claw of the Infernal Seal1
#1488Cloaca-Cola fatigues1
#1419Cloaca-Cola helmet1
#1429Cloaca-Cola shield1
#2464Colander of Em-er'il1
#2661Disco 'Fro Pick1
#1406Dyspepsi-Cola fatigues1
#1417Dyspepsi-Cola helmet1
#1376Dyspepsi-Cola shield1
#1785El Sombrero De Lopez1
#2384Elder Turtle Shell1
#212Frosty's carrot1
#196Frosty's nailbat1
#214Frosty's old silk hat1
#787Garter of the Turtle Poacher1
#725Gravyskin Belt of the Sauceblob1
#1147Heimandatz's heart1
#118Hodgman's bow tie1
#129Hodgman's lobsterskin pants1
#144Hodgman's porkpie hat1
#1287Jocko Homo's head1
#991Knob Goblin elite helm1
#996Knob Goblin elite pants1
#973Knob Goblin elite polearm1
#1007Knob Goblin harem pants1
#997Knob Goblin harem veil1
#724Krakrox's Loincloth1
#815La Hebilla del Cinturón de Lopez1
#778Lederhosen of the Night1
#726Newman's Own Trousers1
#216Ol' Scratch's ash can1
#196Ol' Scratch's ol' britches1
#186Ol' Scratch's stovepipe hat1
#844Orcish baseball cap1
#793Orcish cargo shorts1
#785Orcish frat-paddle1
#193Oscus's pelt1
#118Saccharine Maple pendant1
#1074Safari Jack's moustache1
#2541Scalp of Gorgolok1
#1038The Mariachi's guitar case1
#157Tropical Crimbo Hat1
#160Tropical Crimbo Shorts1
#189Tropical Crimbo Sword1
#23Uncle Hobo's epic beard1
#26Uncle Hobo's gift baggy pants1
#915Volartta's bellbottoms1
#203Wand of Oscus1
#1119Yakisoba's hat1
#182Zombo's grievous greaves1
#187Zombo's shield1
#191Zombo's skullcap1
#887antique greaves1
#897antique helmet1
#906antique shield1
#948antique spear1
#430balaclava1
#72bark beret1
#70bark boxers1
#91bark bracelet1
#673beer helmet1
#745bejeweled pledge pin1
#1005big red clown nose1
🥈biomechanical crimborg helmet1
🥈biomechanical crimborg leg armor1
#694black greaves1
#695black helmet1
#667black shield1
#727black sword1
#964bloody clown pants1
#76bone spurs1
#61boneana hammock1
#63bonedanna1
#141bow staff1
#149bowlegged pants1
#133bowler1
#1102bugbear beanie1
#1109bugbear bungguard1
#592bullet-proof corduroys1
#545can of fake snow1
#40clingfilm slippers1
#34clingfilm trousers1
#102clockwork hat1
#101clockwork pants1
#154clockwork trench coat1
#798clown shoes1
#777cold ninja mask1
#507colored-light "necklace"1
#95congratulatory cake1
#850cornuthaum1
#6corroded breeches1
#5corrosive cowl1
#35cursed breeches1
#64cursed cutlass1
#42cursed eyepatch1
#377cursed piece of thirteen1
#532disbelief suspenders1
#587distressed denim pants1
#80double-ice box1
#171double-ice cap1
#92duct tape fedora1
#55dwarvish war helmet1
#46dwarvish war kilt1
#48dwarvish war mattock1
#896eXtreme mittens1
#856eXtreme scarf1
#199extra-large palm-frond toupee1
#1086eyepatch1
#14fancy black tie1
#14fancy tophat1
#16fancy tuxedo pants1
#1000filthy corduroys1
#972filthy knitted dread sack1
#793foolscap fool's cap1
#427furry pants1
#1641giant discarded bottlecap1
#2409giant discarded plastic fork1
#1517giant discarded torn-up glove1
#155gnauga hide buckler1
#149gnauga hide chaps1
#203gnauga hide whip1
#223grass blade1
#194grass hat1
#188grass skirt1
#59helm of the white knight1
#11honey dipper1
#19honeycap1
#426icy-hot katana1
#590long-stemmed rose1
#377los chinos1
#247makeshift cape1
#171makeshift skirt1
#181makeshift turban1
#791miner's helmet1
#785miner's pants1
#858ninja hot pants1
#189palm-frond capris1
#213palm-frond whip1
#102paperclip cape1
#98paperclip pants1
#90paperclip turban1
#100paperclip-on tie1
#363parasitic claw1
#227parasitic headgnawer1
#233parasitic strangleworm1
#190parasitic tentacles1
#293pig-iron bracers1
#307pig-iron helm1
#283pig-iron shinguards1
#288pixel hat1
#162pixel pants1
#211pixel sword1
#359polka-dot bow tie1
#51pottery hat1
#42pottery shield1
#43pottery training pants1
#577reinforced beaded headband1
#1131ring of aggravate monster1
#638round purple sunglasses1
#76sealhide buckler1
#74sealhide hood1
#63sealhide leggings1
🥉snow belly1
#10snow hat1
🥉snow pants1
#803snowboarder pants1
#1799stainless steel scarf1
#2140stainless steel skullcap1
#2248stainless steel slacks1
#1862stainless steel solitaire1
#310star buckler1
#606star hat1
#330star pants1
#4802stuffed shoulder parrot1
#256sucker hakama1
#219sucker kabuto1
#278sucker tachi1
#964swashbuckling pants1
#790tiny bottle of absinthe4
#938tiny die-cast Bashful the Reindeer1
#955tiny die-cast CrimboTown Toy Factory1
#938tiny die-cast Doc the Reindeer1
#611tiny die-cast Don Crimbo1
#929tiny die-cast Dopey the Reindeer1
#600tiny die-cast Father Crimbo1
#632tiny die-cast Father Crimborg1
#931tiny die-cast Grumpy the Reindeer1
#929tiny die-cast Happy the Reindeer1
#613tiny die-cast Rudolphus of Crimborg1
#934tiny die-cast Sleepy the Reindeer1
#946tiny die-cast Sneezy the Reindeer1
#565tiny die-cast Swiss hen1
#591tiny die-cast Uncle Hobo1
#941tiny die-cast Unionize the Elves Sign1
#939tiny die-cast Zeppo the Reindeer1
#563tiny die-cast arc-welding Elfborg1
#592tiny die-cast blade a-spinning1
#586tiny die-cast death ray in a pear tree1
#952tiny die-cast factory worker elf1
#928tiny die-cast gift-wrapping elf1
#554tiny die-cast golden ring1
#568tiny die-cast goose a-laying1
#550tiny die-cast killing bird1
#948tiny die-cast middle-management elf1
#951tiny die-cast pencil-pusher elf1
#581tiny die-cast ribbon-cutting Elfborg1
#940tiny die-cast stocking-stuffer elf1
#552tiny die-cast swarm a-swarming1
#566tiny die-cast turtle mech1
#3989tiny plastic 7-foot dwarf1
#3932tiny plastic Axe Wound1
#3114tiny plastic Baron von Ratsworth1
#3177tiny plastic Beelzebozo1
#3938tiny plastic Black Knight1
#3177tiny plastic Bonerdagon1
#3079tiny plastic Boss Bat1
#8191tiny plastic Cheshire bat1
#3121tiny plastic Felonia1
#3829tiny plastic G Imp1
#3953tiny plastic Gnollish crossdresser1
#3874tiny plastic Gnomester Blomester1
#3909tiny plastic Hellion1
#3882tiny plastic Iiti Kitty1
#3074tiny plastic Knob Goblin King1
#3957tiny plastic Knob Goblin bean counter1
#3871tiny plastic Knob Goblin harem girl1
#3910tiny plastic Knob Goblin mad scientist1
#3894tiny plastic Knott Yeti1
#3861tiny plastic Orcish Frat Boy1
#3870tiny plastic Protagonist1
#3905tiny plastic Spam Witch1
#3891tiny plastic Spunky Princess1
#3062tiny plastic The Big Wisniewski1
#3066tiny plastic The Man1
#3926tiny plastic Trouser Snake1
#3856tiny plastic XXX pr0n1
#4543tiny plastic accordion thief1
#4021tiny plastic angry bugbear1
#8211tiny plastic angry goat1
#3942tiny plastic anime smiley1
#3977tiny plastic apathetic lizardman1
#3979tiny plastic astronomer1
#8249tiny plastic baby gravy fairy1
#8127tiny plastic barrrnacle1
#3963tiny plastic beanbat1
#4480tiny plastic bitchin' meatcar1
#8174tiny plastic blood-faced volleyball1
#3923tiny plastic blooper1
#3954tiny plastic brainsweeper1
#3907tiny plastic briefcase bat1
#8094tiny plastic cocoabo1
#8220tiny plastic coffee pixie1
#3177tiny plastic conservationist hippy1
#3910tiny plastic cubist bull1
#3936tiny plastic demoninja1
#4497tiny plastic disco bandit1
#3876tiny plastic drunk goat1
#3843tiny plastic fiendish can of asparagus1
#3909tiny plastic filthy hippy jewelry maker1
#3920tiny plastic fluffy bunny1
#3922tiny plastic fruit golem1
#8151tiny plastic fuzzy dice1
#8186tiny plastic ghost pickle on a stick1
#8092tiny plastic ghuol whelp1
#3902tiny plastic giant pair of tweezers1
#3859tiny plastic goth giant1
#8058tiny plastic grue1
#3894tiny plastic handsome mariachi1
#4598tiny plastic hermit1
#8127tiny plastic howling balloon monkey1
#8068tiny plastic killer bee1
#3890tiny plastic lemon-in-the-box1
#8200tiny plastic leprechaun1
#8101tiny plastic levitating potato1
#3837tiny plastic lobsterfrogman1
#8111tiny plastic mosquito1
#3994tiny plastic ninja snowman1
#4346tiny plastic pastamancer1
#8099tiny plastic sabre-toothed lime1
#4467tiny plastic sauceror1
#3891tiny plastic scary clown1
#4450tiny plastic seal clubber1
#3850tiny plastic senile lihc1
#3951tiny plastic smarmy pirate1
#3837tiny plastic spiny skelelton1
#8224tiny plastic spooky pirate skeleton1
#3936tiny plastic spooky vampire1
#8159tiny plastic stab bat1
#8136tiny plastic star starfish1
#3861tiny plastic taco cat1
#3860tiny plastic topiary golem1
#4481tiny plastic turtle tamer1
#3841tiny plastic undead elbow macaroni1
#3872tiny plastic warwelf1
#3850tiny plastic whitesnake1
#3846tiny plastic zmobie1
#478tree skirt1
#52trousers of the white knight1
#1043viking helmet1
#8villainous scythe1
#896vorpal blade1
#26wax hat1
#23wax pants1
#78white balloon1,000
#91willowy bonnet1
#1245wolf mask1
#78wristwatch of the white knight1
#12wumpus-hair loincloth1
#27wumpus-hair whip1
#14wumpus-hair wig1

Wow, that's 1,328 items total!

what items are this player missing?