| 🥉 | "caramel" orange | 1,027 |
| #410 | Aluminum Epsilon of Humility | 1 |
| #16 | Amulet of Yendor | 900 |
| #182 | Crimbo Candy Cookbook | 27 |
| #82 | Elf Guard safety bear | 1 |
| #268 | Iron Beta of Industry | 35 |
| #134 | Jack-in-the-box | 37 |
| #303 | Nickel Gamma of Frugality | 22 |
| #865 | Orange Star of Sacrifice | 2 |
| #1226 | Pan-Dimensional Gargle Blaster | 4 |
| #813 | Pink Heart of Spirit | 1 |
| #99 | Red Rover BB gun | 35 |
| 🥈 | Sword of Procedural Generation | 1 |
| 🥈 | The Spirit of Giving (used) | 1 |
| #1202 | Thwaitgold Goliath beetle statuette | 2 |
| #494 | Thwaitgold amoeba statuette | 1 |
| #176 | Thwaitgold bombardier beetle statuette | 5 |
| #118 | Thwaitgold buzzy beetle statuette | 8 |
| #1400 | Thwaitgold dragonfly statuette | 1 |
| #87 | Thwaitgold harvestman statuette | 1 |
| #198 | Thwaitgold mosquito statuette | 7 |
| #275 | Thwaitgold nymph statuette | 3 |
| #49 | Thwaitgold protozoa statuette | 30 |
| #792 | Thwaitgold scarab beetle statuette | 4 |
| #750 | Thwaitgold slug statuette | 1 |
| #951 | Thwaitgold spider statuette | 1 |
| #435 | Thwaitgold termite statuette | 18 |
| #75 | Uranium Omega of Temperance | 3 |
| #1612 | Yellow Moon of Compassion | 1 |
| #653 | Zinc Delta of Tranquility | 2 |
| #227 | anniversary chutney sculpture | 1 |
| 🥈 | anniversary concrete fedora | 1 |
| 🥈 | anniversary safety glass vest | 1 |
| #16 | bag of airline peanuts | 940 |
| #133 | bejeweled cufflinks | 28 |
| #10 | black Crimbo ball | 10,001 |
| #9 | black candy heart | 1,260 |
| #288 | bottle of goofballs | 81 |
| #2269 | box of sunshine | 52 |
| #8 | boxed gumball machine | 18 |
| #136 | brain preservation fluid | 1 |
| #8 | bread pie | 10,008 |
| #33 | brick | 931 |
| 🥇 | bucket of anniversary lard | 1 |
| #5 | can of mixed everything | 30 |
| 🥇 | carnivorous potted plant | 76 |
| #122 | chaos popcorn | 1 |
| #8 | clear Russian | 10,002 |
| #7 | cloning kit | 448 |
| #18 | clown hammer | 871 |
| #565 | club necklace | 12 |
| #140 | corned beet | 1 |
| #14 | cuppa Royal tea | 131 |
| #8 | cuppa Sobrie tea | 110 |
| #7 | cuppa Voraci tea | 139 |
| #10 | cymbal syrup | 882 |
| #20 | defective skull | 735 |
| #11 | depleted Crimbonium football helmet | 45 |
| #399 | designer handbag | 7 |
| #793 | diamond necklace | 9 |
| 🥈 | drum of tommy ammo | 80,183 |
| #5 | electric pants | 104 |
| #1114 | enchanted leopard-print barbell | 4 |
| #11 | encoder ring | 869 |
| #943 | ennui-flavored potato chips | 5 |
| #48 | ert grey goo ring | 19 |
| #16 | explosion-flavored chewing gum | 1,496 |
| #27 | fake fake vomit | 860 |
| #189 | fancy opera glasses | 22 |
| #13 | festive egg sac | 13 |
| #8 | fleshy putty | 231 |
| #115 | garish pinky ring | 34 |
| #105 | giant designer sunglasses | 37 |
| #7 | golden fleece | 59 |
| #315 | gooified animal matter | 1 |
| #301 | gooified mineral matter | 1 |
| #302 | gooified vegetable matter | 1 |
| #222 | grue egg omelette | 14 |
| 🥇 | hand-knitted diving booties | 1 |
| #659 | handful of confetti | 62 |
| #638 | heart necklace | 11 |
| #58 | heavy hot sauce | 1 |
| #43 | jar of anniversary jam | 1 |
| #15 | jazz soap | 892 |
| #15 | joybuzzer | 860 |
| #8 | lab-grown meat | 286 |
| #15 | magical ice cube with a fly in it | 934 |
| #10 | mood ring | 923 |
| 🥇 | oxygenated eggnog helmet | 1 |
| #46 | peanut brittle shield | 88 |
| 🥇 | peppermint harpoon gun | 1 |
| #13 | peppermint-scented socks | 34 |
| #984 | personalized coffee mug | 1 |
| #17 | pet rock "Groucho" disguise | 861 |
| #16 | pet rock "Snooty" disguise | 885 |
| #134 | pickled bread | 1 |
| #11 | poisonsettia | 163 |
| 🥉 | potato alarm clock | 67 |
| #124 | pretty flower | 3,217 |
| 🥇 | priceless diamond | 5,645 |
| #10 | projectile chemistry set | 202 |
| #846 | radium-flavored potato chips | 12 |
| #134 | red-and-green sweater | 22 |
| #631 | rubber WWBD? bracelet | 12 |
| #875 | rubber WWJD? bracelet | 9 |
| #674 | rubber WWSPD? bracelet | 11 |
| #1722 | rubber WWtNSD? bracelet | 4 |
| #24 | rubber emo roe | 840 |
| #140 | salted mutton | 1 |
| #183 | sand dollar | 73 |
| #1268 | sandwich of the gods | 4 |
| 🥇 | self-repairing earmuffs | 218 |
| #500 | spade necklace | 13 |
| #106 | spandex anniversary shorts | 1 |
| #649 | spectre scepter | 51 |
| #356 | stuffed Baron von Ratsworth | 116 |
| #1154 | stuffed Cheshire bitten | 42 |
| #919 | stuffed MagiMechTech MicroMechaMech | 51 |
| #572 | stuffed Meat | 83 |
| #1258 | stuffed angry cow | 40 |
| #1108 | stuffed astral badger | 46 |
| #921 | stuffed baby gravy fairy | 54 |
| #1465 | stuffed can of asparagus | 1 |
| #878 | stuffed cocoabo | 53 |
| #1521 | stuffed crazy bastard sword | 2 |
| #1042 | stuffed flaming gravy fairy | 48 |
| #936 | stuffed frozen gravy fairy | 52 |
| #1083 | stuffed hand turkey | 46 |
| #320 | stuffed key | 172 |
| #1676 | stuffed martini | 2 |
| #802 | stuffed mind flayer | 61 |
| #447 | stuffed mink | 103 |
| #468 | stuffed monocle | 100 |
| #273 | stuffed ninja snowman | 20 |
| #1257 | stuffed scary death orb | 41 |
| #1190 | stuffed sleazy gravy fairy | 42 |
| #1016 | stuffed snowy owl | 47 |
| #971 | stuffed spooky gravy fairy | 52 |
| #823 | stuffed stinky gravy fairy | 57 |
| #498 | stuffed teddy butler | 94 |
| #481 | stuffed tin of caviar | 95 |
| #309 | stuffed treasure chest | 175 |
| #942 | stuffed undead elbow macaroni | 53 |
| #6 | synthetic rock | 17 |
| #18 | the Crymbich Manuscript | 7 |
| #8 | third ear | 56 |
| #59 | tiny plastic Dolph Bossin | 1 |
| #45 | tiny plastic Mer-kin baker | 1 |
| #52 | tiny plastic dolphin "orphan" | 1 |
| #44 | tiny plastic sea elf | 1 |
| #50 | tiny plastic yuleviathan | 1 |
| 🥇 | tommy gun | 7,470 |
| 🥇 | universal biscuit | 1,002 |
| #99 | urinal cake | 193 |
| #1732 | useless powder | 3 |
| #11 | white Crimbo ball | 10,000 |
| #20 | whoopie cushion | 860 |
| #19 | wind-up chattering teeth | 815 |
| #945 | wintergreen-flavored potato chips | 5 |
| #17 | x-ray specs | 840 |
| #23 | yellow snowcone | 845 |
| 🥈 | yule hatchet | 237 |