| #38 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 1) (used) | 1 |
| #34 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 2) (used) | 1 |
| #36 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 3) (used) | 1 |
| #32 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 4) (used) | 1 |
| #32 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 5) (used) | 1 |
| #104 | Carol of the Bulls | 1 |
| #103 | Carol of the Hells | 1 |
| #101 | Carol of the Thrills | 1 |
| #43 | Cheer-Up soda | 19 |
| #569 | Chroner | 1 |
| #1448 | Corpse Island iced tea | 2 |
| #132 | Crimbeau de toilette | 1 |
| #1349 | Crimbo candied pecan | 1 |
| #160 | Crimbo candle | 1 |
| #19 | Crimbo dog sweater | 1 |
| #1380 | Crimbo fudge | 1 |
| #750 | Crimbo pie | 1 |
| #531 | Crimbo salad | 1 |
| #82 | Crimbo tattoo kit | 1 |
| #111 | Crimbojito | 2 |
| #88 | Crimbolex watch | 1 |
| #268 | Crimbot battery | 1 |
| #244 | Crimbot schematic: Big Wheel | 1 |
| #179 | Crimboysters Rockefeller | 1 |
| #4248 | Crown of the Goblin King | 1 |
| #194 | DUFRESNE Suds | 5 |
| #23 | Egnaro berry | 3 |
| #16 | Ellsbury's journal (used) | 1 |
| #32 | Glum berry | 2 |
| #110 | Gratitude chocolate (Meat-filled) | 1 |
| #101 | Gratitude chocolate (bourbon-filled) | 1 |
| #23 | Grey Guanon | 3 |
| #121 | Holiday Fun! | 1 |
| #28 | Jamocha berry | 3 |
| #15 | Keese berry | 12 |
| #891 | Knob Goblin visor | 1 |
| #80 | LCD game: Food Eater | 9 |
| #19 | Sitrep berry | 10 |
| #21 | Snarf berry | 7 |
| #31 | Tapioc berry | 5 |
| #4 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 1 (used) | 1 |
| #4 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 2 (used) | 1 |
| #5 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 3 (used) | 1 |
| #8 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 4 (used) | 1 |
| #7 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 5 (used) | 1 |
| 🥉 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 6 (used) | 1 |
| 🥈 | The Spirit of Crimbo | 1 |
| #120 | actual tapas | 1 |
| #240 | alien drugs | 4 |
| #223 | alien force field disruptor bean | 1 |
| #203 | alien source code printout | 1 |
| #15 | alien source code printout (used) | 1 |
| #44 | ancient calendar | 1 |
| #227 | anniversary chutney sculpture | 1 |
| #126 | antique Canadian lantern | 1 |
| #167 | antique beer | 1 |
| #814 | baby killer bee | 10 |
| #265 | backwoods screwdriver | 1 |
| #109 | balanced antler | 1 |
| #2044 | ball | 1 |
| #183 | baseball | 40 |
| #76 | beaver punch (cherry) | 1 |
| #75 | beaver punch (papaya) | 1 |
| #91 | beaver punch (peach) | 1 |
| #157 | beavermouth | 28 |
| #589 | black & tan | 1 |
| #172 | black and white cracker | 3 |
| #3303 | blob-shaped Crimbo cookie | 1 |
| #164 | bottle of Crimbognac | 1 |
| #58 | bottle of Goldschnöckered | 1 |
| #412 | broken skull | 40 |
| 🥇 | bucket of anniversary lard | 1 |
| #1750 | canteen of wine | 1 |
| #634 | carbonated water lily | 1 |
| #87 | cheer-o-gram | 7 |
| #109 | cheerful Crimbo sweater | 1 |
| #41 | cheerful antler hat | 2 |
| #86 | cheerful pajama pants | 1 |
| #1180 | coconut shell | 2 |
| #85 | compounded experience | 1 |
| #1817 | corpsedriver | 1 |
| #565 | corrupted data | 9 |
| #334 | divine blowout | 18 |
| #339 | divine can of silly string | 19 |
| #522 | divine champagne flute | 2 |
| #446 | divine champagne popper | 1 |
| #367 | divine cracker | 5 |
| #350 | divine noisemaker | 13 |
| #1579 | dusty Crimbo crate | 1 |
| #131 | eternal car battery | 1 |
| #173 | executive mime flask | 6 |
| #1761 | fire | 1 |
| #692 | [2426]fire flower | 1 |
| #107 | fire of unknown origin | 7 |
| #135 | fireball | 1 |
| #134 | flimsy clipboard | 14 |
| #132 | fruity girl swill | 1 |
| #551 | ghost pickle on a stick | 1 |
| #1336 | gingerbread mutant bugbear | 4 |
| #90 | gleaming oyster egg | 6 |
| #109 | glistening oyster egg | 6 |
| #139 | gold star | 10 |
| #1683 | green beer | 2 |
| #70 | green rocket | 43 |
| #255 | grilled mooseflank | 2 |
| #983 | guy made of bee pollen | 1 |
| #50 | half double fruitcake | 1 |
| #167 | hamburger | 1 |
| 🥇 | hand-knitted Crimbo socks | 1 |
| #53 | handful of bees | 1 |
| #153 | hunk of granite | 7 |
| #312 | hushed puppy | 1 |
| #63 | insane tophat | 1 |
| #38 | leftover pasty | 1 |
| #72 | lustrous oyster egg | 8 |
| #69 | magical sausage | 2 |
| #66 | magical sausage casing | 1 |
| #168 | magnificent oyster egg | 2 |
| #128 | mime army camouflage kit | 1 |
| #72 | mime army challenge coin | 1 |
| #19 | mime army infiltration glove | 1 |
| #22 | mime army insignia (cryonics) | 1 |
| #25 | mime army insignia (espionage) | 1 |
| #24 | mime army insignia (infantry) | 1 |
| #25 | mime army insignia (intelligence) | 1 |
| #26 | mime army insignia (morale) | 1 |
| #17 | mime army insignia (psychological warfare) | 1 |
| #38 | mime army insignia (pyrotechnics) | 1 |
| #18 | mime army insignia (sanitation) | 1 |
| #228 | mime army rations | 1 |
| #153 | mime army superserum | 1 |
| #118 | mime army wine | 3 |
| #76 | mime eraser | 10 |
| #73 | mime pocket probe | 1 |
| 🥇 | mime-proof sunglasses | 1 |
| #78 | miming beret | 1 |
| #42 | miming gloves | 2 |
| #95 | miming shirt | 1 |
| #134 | mooseflank | 34 |
| #88 | moosemeat pie | 1 |
| #264 | muffled muffuletta | 2 |
| #107 | muskox-skin cap | 1 |
| #602 | mysterious silver lapel pin | 1 |
| #47 | neg grog | 1 |
| #290 | nega-mushroom | 1 |
| #56 | nega-mushroom wine | 1 |
| #119 | office-supply crossbow | 1 |
| #287 | oldcake | 1 |
| #2436 | oozenog | 1 |
| #440 | opera mask | 1 |
| #204 | overcookie | 1 |
| #1681 | passable elf mask | 1 |
| #197 | pearlescent oyster egg | 2 |
| #1206 | piece of wedding cake | 1 |
| #84 | plastic bazooka | 1 |
| #30 | plate of Val-U Brand Every Bean Salad | 1 |
| #116 | pocket wish | 1 |
| #92 | portable dam | 1 |
| #300 | primitive candy cane | 1 |
| #114 | pristine walrus tusk | 1 |
| #43 | red-hot sausage fork | 3 |
| #97 | roll of meat | 1 |
| #262 | runny fermented egg | 1 |
| #188 | scintillating oyster egg | 2 |
| #155 | shovelful of dirt | 8 |
| #326 | shushed potatoes | 1 |
| #69 | silent A | 1 |
| #138 | silent B | 1 |
| #59 | silent C | 1 |
| #63 | silent D | 1 |
| #57 | silent E | 1 |
| #77 | silent F | 1 |
| #64 | silent G | 1 |
| #135 | silent H | 1 |
| #203 | silent I | 1 |
| #173 | silent J | 1 |
| #46 | silent K | 1 |
| #149 | silent L | 1 |
| #191 | silent M | 1 |
| #69 | silent N | 1 |
| #242 | silent O | 1 |
| #212 | silent P | 1 |
| #87 | silent Q | 1 |
| #62 | silent R | 1 |
| #69 | silent S | 1 |
| #65 | silent T | 1 |
| #64 | silent U | 1 |
| #75 | silent V | 1 |
| #123 | silent W | 1 |
| #186 | silent X | 1 |
| #67 | silent Y | 1 |
| #121 | silent Z | 1 |
| #760 | snake | 5 |
| #841 | sparkler | 4 |
| #131 | stale Cheer-E-Os | 5 |
| #136 | stale cheer wine | 5 |
| #425 | stolen office supplies | 1 |
| #103 | thick walrus blubber | 28 |
| #156 | tiny bomb | 5 |
| #3986 | tiny plastic 7-foot dwarf | 1 |
| #65 | tiny plastic Abuela Crimbo | 1 |
| #3115 | tiny plastic Baron von Ratsworth | 1 |
| #3176 | tiny plastic Bonerdagon | 1 |
| #3076 | tiny plastic Boss Bat | 1 |
| #61 | tiny plastic Café Elf | 1 |
| #4312 | tiny plastic Crimbo elf | 1 |
| #2847 | tiny plastic Knob Goblin bean counter | 2 |
| #3894 | tiny plastic Knott Yeti | 1 |
| #1056 | tiny plastic Mob Penguin | 1 |
| #2744 | tiny plastic Spunky Princess | 2 |
| #3062 | tiny plastic The Man | 1 |
| #38 | tiny plastic The Silent Nightmare | 2 |
| #3978 | tiny plastic astronomer | 1 |
| #8249 | tiny plastic baby gravy fairy | 1 |
| #3963 | tiny plastic beanbat | 1 |
| #1753 | tiny plastic briefcase bat | 4 |
| #989 | tiny plastic chunk of depleted Grimacite | 1 |
| #8089 | tiny plastic cocoabo | 1 |
| #3935 | tiny plastic demoninja | 1 |
| #3875 | tiny plastic drunk goat | 1 |
| #1018 | tiny plastic fat stack of cash | 1 |
| #3842 | tiny plastic fiendish can of asparagus | 1 |
| #8185 | tiny plastic ghost pickle on a stick | 1 |
| #8088 | tiny plastic ghuol whelp | 1 |
| #2789 | tiny plastic goth giant | 2 |
| #3893 | tiny plastic handsome mariachi | 1 |
| #8123 | tiny plastic howling balloon monkey | 1 |
| #8064 | tiny plastic killer bee | 1 |
| #3835 | tiny plastic lobsterfrogman | 1 |
| #71 | tiny plastic mime executive | 1 |
| #72 | tiny plastic mime functionary | 1 |
| #73 | tiny plastic mime scientist | 1 |
| #74 | tiny plastic mime soldier | 1 |
| #6159 | tiny plastic mosquito | 2 |
| #1036 | tiny plastic mutant elf | 1 |
| #3996 | tiny plastic ninja snowman | 1 |
| #57 | tiny plastic orphan | 1 |
| #58 | tiny plastic reindeer | 1 |
| #4450 | tiny plastic seal clubber | 1 |
| #2144 | tiny plastic spiny skelelton | 3 |
| #3935 | tiny plastic spooky vampire | 1 |
| #8133 | tiny plastic star starfish | 1 |
| #978 | tiny plastic strand of DNA | 1 |
| #3841 | tiny plastic undead elbow macaroni | 1 |
| #53 | tiny plastic wild beaver | 1 |
| #1842 | towel | 1 |
| #337 | traditional Crimbo cookie | 7 |
| #216 | transparent nog | 2 |
| #83 | two meat muck | 1 |
| #192 | unfinished fruitcake | 2 |
| #137 | unnamed cocktail | 1 |
| #225 | very overdue library book | 1 |
| #11 | white hat hacker T-shirt | 117 |
| #188 | white money bag | 1 |
| #104 | yule gruel | 10 |
| #102 | yule pup | 1 |