| #114 | "Humorous" T-shirt | 1 |
| #163 | Cerebral Cloche | 1 |
| #312 | Cerebral Crossbow | 1 |
| #188 | Cerebral Culottes | 1 |
| #265 | Cherry Cloaca Cola | 4 |
| #1488 | Cloaca-Cola fatigues | 1 |
| #1419 | Cloaca-Cola helmet | 1 |
| #1429 | Cloaca-Cola shield | 1 |
| #173 | Diet Cloaca Cola | 9 |
| #2053 | Dyspepsi-Cola | 1 |
| #1406 | Dyspepsi-Cola fatigues | 1 |
| #1417 | Dyspepsi-Cola helmet | 1 |
| #1376 | Dyspepsi-Cola shield | 1 |
| #1688 | Feynman gate | 1 |
| #418 | Imp Ale | 426 |
| #691 | Jumbo Dr. Lucifer | 6 |
| #1007 | Knob Goblin harem pants | 1 |
| #997 | Knob Goblin harem veil | 1 |
| #970 | Lord of the Flies-sized fries | 1 |
| #1985 | MagiMechTech NanoMechaMech | 1 |
| #535 | Mountain Stream soda | 20 |
| #697 | Ram's Face Lager | 8 |
| #252 | Regular Cloaca Cola | 4 |
| #330 | White Citadel burger | 4 |
| #288 | White Citadel fries | 4 |
| #855 | Wint-O-Fresh mint | 10 |
| #706 | a little sump'm sump'm | 1 |
| #1652 | ancient unspeakable fruitcake | 4 |
| #887 | antique greaves | 1 |
| #897 | antique helmet | 1 |
| #906 | antique shield | 1 |
| #948 | antique spear | 1 |
| #2064 | astronaut pants | 1 |
| #1088 | atomic vector plotter | 1 |
| #1883 | bag of airline peanuts | 1 |
| #430 | balaclava | 1 |
| #999 | bat-shaped Crimboween cookie | 2 |
| #1022 | bi-lateral logic compressor | 1 |
| #1005 | big red clown nose | 1 |
| #964 | bloody clown pants | 1 |
| 🥈 | blue ribbon | 1 |
| #315 | bottle of popskull | 6 |
| #2707 | brick | 1 |
| #1102 | bugbear beanie | 1 |
| #1109 | bugbear bungguard | 1 |
| #534 | calle de miel | 1 |
| #545 | can of fake snow | 1 |
| #4784 | candy cane | 1 |
| #815 | candy stake | 8 |
| #1757 | capacitor relay | 1 |
| #1811 | carbon nanotube frame | 1 |
| #824 | chopsticks | 1 |
| #102 | clockwork hat | 1 |
| #101 | clockwork pants | 1 |
| #154 | clockwork trench coat | 1 |
| #798 | clown shoes | 1 |
| #507 | colored-light "necklace" | 1 |
| #1056 | computronic processing unit | 1 |
| #179 | deactivated MicroMechaMech | 1 |
| #532 | disbelief suspenders | 1 |
| #904 | dry noodles | 6 |
| #516 | ducha de oro | 1 |
| #896 | eXtreme mittens | 1 |
| #856 | eXtreme scarf | 1 |
| #2833 | eggnog | 1 |
| #2680 | evil teddy bear | 1 |
| #1643 | explosion-flavored chewing gum | 2 |
| #510 | extra-spicy bloody mary | 1 |
| #1985 | fake fake vomit | 1 |
| #1791 | fake hand | 1 |
| #1146 | fancy but probably evil chocolate | 5 |
| #2422 | fancy dress ball | 1 |
| #1000 | filthy corduroys | 1 |
| #972 | filthy knitted dread sack | 1 |
| #1764 | fire | 1 |
| #793 | foolscap fool's cap | 1 |
| #1093 | frigid ninja stars | 1 |
| #731 | frozen nunchaku | 1 |
| #604 | fuzzbump | 1 |
| #1641 | giant discarded bottlecap | 1 |
| #2409 | giant discarded plastic fork | 1 |
| #1517 | giant discarded torn-up glove | 1 |
| #3940 | gingerbread bugbear | 1 |
| #1070 | gingerbread horror | 6 |
| #223 | grass blade | 1 |
| #194 | grass hat | 1 |
| #188 | grass skirt | 1 |
| #1110 | high-resistance ultrapolymer plating | 1 |
| #998 | hot katana blade | 1 |
| #330 | hot wing | 211 |
| #1025 | hyperbolic plasma focuser | 1 |
| #275 | ice stein | 1 |
| #498 | ice-cold Sir Schlitz | 191 |
| #535 | ice-cold Willer | 70 |
| #890 | ice-cold fotie | 8 |
| #426 | icy-hot katana | 1 |
| #1370 | incredibly creepy marionette | 1 |
| #1775 | ion grid | 1 |
| #1080 | ion-pulse modulation stabilizer | 1 |
| #1194 | jabañero-flavored chewing gum | 1 |
| #1828 | jazz soap | 1 |
| #1882 | joybuzzer | 1 |
| #1289 | killer rag doll | 1 |
| #2180 | lavender paisley oyster egg | 1 |
| #1210 | lime-and-chile-flavored chewing gum | 1 |
| #1726 | logic synthesizer | 1 |
| #377 | los chinos | 1 |
| #1347 | mad scientist's sock monkey | 1 |
| #1892 | magical ice cube with a fly in it | 1 |
| #2384 | mauve striped oyster egg | 1 |
| #628 | ninja mop | 1 |
| #1734 | off-white polka-dot oyster egg | 1 |
| #218 | onion shurikens | 1 |
| #472 | perpendicular hula | 1 |
| #2035 | pet rock | 2 |
| #1651 | pet rock "Groucho" disguise | 1 |
| #1882 | pet rock "Snooty" disguise | 1 |
| #1234 | pickle-flavored chewing gum | 1 |
| #1153 | pink candy heart | 1 |
| #288 | pixel hat | 1 |
| #162 | pixel pants | 1 |
| #211 | pixel sword | 1 |
| #359 | polka-dot bow tie | 1 |
| #2221 | possessed top | 1 |
| #1614 | prehistoric spear | 1 |
| #2253 | puce polka-dot oyster egg | 1 |
| #464 | purple-frosted astral cupcake | 2 |
| #1068 | quantum polarity inducer | 1 |
| #2247 | razor-tipped yo-yo | 1 |
| #1005 | recursive spline reticulator | 1 |
| #1107 | reverse-oscillating klystron | 1 |
| #666 | ridiculously overelaborate ninja weapon | 1 |
| #494 | roll in the hay | 1 |
| #1959 | rubber emo roe | 1 |
| #1088 | servomechanical torsion facilitator | 1 |
| #2957 | shiny ring | 1 |
| #1807 | skull-shaped Crimboween cookie | 1 |
| #546 | slap and tickle | 1 |
| #803 | snowboarder pants | 1 |
| #707 | spooky eggnog | 8 |
| #833 | spooky hockey mask | 2 |
| #1520 | stick-on-a-string | 1 |
| #3170 | stuffed alien blob | 1 |
| #8940 | stuffed scary death orb | 1 |
| #1049 | sub-molecular interocitor | 1 |
| #525 | sweet ninja sword | 1 |
| #1189 | ten-leaf clover | 1 |
| #1550 | tiny plastic Crimboween pentagram | 1 |
| #1530 | tiny plastic Scream Queen | 1 |
| #1733 | tiny plastic ancient yuletide troll | 1 |
| #1738 | tiny plastic gift-wrapping vampire | 1 |
| #1559 | tiny plastic skeletal reindeer | 1 |
| #2527 | toothsome rock | 1 |
| #2400 | toy crazy train | 1 |
| #2209 | toy jet pack | 1 |
| #2127 | toy mercenary | 1 |
| #2475 | toy ray gun | 1 |
| #2262 | toy space helmet | 1 |
| #478 | tree skirt | 1 |
| #3145 | tree-eating kite | 1 |
| #2525 | vampire duck-on-a-string | 1 |
| #1538 | wheel | 1 |
| #1749 | whoopie cushion | 2 |
| #2053 | wind-up chattering teeth | 1 |
| #2204 | yo | 1 |