| #295 | A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 5 | 1 |
| #414 | Aluminum Epsilon of Humility | 1 |
| #232 | Arrrmetia trading card | 1 |
| #268 | Asleep in the Cemetery | 6 |
| #222 | Benetton's Medley of Diversity | 1 |
| #479 | Blackfly Chardonnay | 4 |
| #156 | Blizzards I Have Died In | 5 |
| #145 | Chorale of Companionship | 1 |
| #97 | Crimbo ukulele | 2 |
| #517 | Ent cider | 11 |
| #664 | Feng Shui for Big Dumb Idiots | 5 |
| #1441 | Green Clover of Justice | 1 |
| #680 | Happy Birthday, Claude! cake | 1 |
| #209 | Inndya trading card | 1 |
| #837 | Kissin' Cousins | 1 |
| #1063 | Let Me Be! | 1 |
| #1227 | Mad Train wine | 12 |
| #387 | Maxing, Relaxing | 3 |
| #508 | Oil of Parrrlay | 1 |
| #233 | Poison Oak trading card | 1 |
| #90 | Princess Rutabaga trading card | 2 |
| #74 | Really Expensive Jewelry and You | 2 |
| #1463 | Retenez L'Herbe Paté | 1 |
| #204 | Roo trading card | 1 |
| #700 | SPF 451 lip balm | 2 |
| #975 | Sensual Massage for Creeps | 1 |
| #210 | Serenity trading card | 1 |
| #734 | Sneaky Pete's breath spray | 1 |
| #736 | Supernova Champagne | 1 |
| #938 | Tales from the Fireside | 1 |
| #41 | The Ballad of Richie Thingfinder | 2 |
| #298 | The Big Book of Pirate Insults | 11 |
| 🥈 | The Spirit of Crimbo | 1 |
| #216 | Thorny Toad trading card | 1 |
| #574 | Tiki lighter | 1 |
| #936 | Travels with Jerry | 1 |
| #158 | Tropical Crimbo Hat | 1 |
| #161 | Tropical Crimbo Shorts | 1 |
| #189 | Tropical Crimbo Sword | 1 |
| #228 | Vaso De Agua trading card | 1 |
| #227 | anniversary chutney sculpture | 1 |
| #678 | arrrgyle socks | 2 |
| #1033 | awful poetry journal | 27 |
| #1720 | bag of airline peanuts | 2 |
| #430 | beholed bedsheet | 2 |
| #745 | bejeweled pledge pin | 1 |
| #801 | bilge wine | 1 |
| 🥈 | blue ribbon | 1 |
| #174 | bobble-hip hula elf doll | 1 |
| #665 | bone rattle | 1 |
| #980 | borg sock monkey | 1 |
| #4254 | bottle of goofballs | 2 |
| #1586 | bottle of rum | 1 |
| #1072 | bottle of single-barrel whiskey | 1 |
| #1685 | box of sunshine | 97 |
| #1150 | brick | 23 |
| #1749 | canteen of wine | 1 |
| #1823 | cheap plastic bottle opener | 1 |
| #438 | chloroform rag | 3 |
| #236 | comfy coffin | 5 |
| #919 | cyborg doll | 1 |
| #618 | deck of tropical cards | 1 |
| #526 | depantsing bomb | 2 |
| #582 | distilled fortified wine | 3 |
| #1068 | disturbing fanfic | 27 |
| #617 | dusty bottle of Marsala | 12 |
| #365 | dusty bottle of Muscat | 42 |
| #674 | dusty bottle of Pinot Noir | 10 |
| #388 | dusty bottle of Port | 39 |
| #341 | dusty bottle of Zinfandel | 46 |
| #531 | fairy gravy boat | 1 |
| #507 | fake blood | 2 |
| #1986 | fake fake vomit | 1 |
| #1634 | fake hand | 2 |
| #880 | fine wine | 1 |
| #856 | flaming feather | 1 |
| #321 | flaming mushroom wine | 1 |
| #497 | foam noodle | 1 |
| #365 | gloomy mushroom wine | 1 |
| #222 | grass blade | 1 |
| #193 | grass hat | 1 |
| #188 | grass skirt | 1 |
| #488 | grouchy restless spirit | 13 |
| #209 | helmet recipe | 1 |
| #233 | hippy medical kit | 15 |
| #1381 | ice-cold Sir Schlitz | 9 |
| #267 | ice-cold Willer | 199 |
| #1356 | ice-cold fotie | 1 |
| #275 | icy mushroom wine | 1 |
| #577 | inflatable duck | 1 |
| #691 | invisible bag | 1 |
| #43 | jar of anniversary jam | 1 |
| #1883 | joybuzzer | 1 |
| #507 | killer rag doll | 5 |
| #938 | lewd playing card | 1 |
| #218 | lucky Crimbo tiki necklace | 1 |
| #505 | mad scientist's sock monkey | 6 |
| #1892 | magical ice cube with a fly in it | 1 |
| #278 | oily mushroom wine | 1 |
| #779 | penguin thesaurus | 8 |
| #376 | pile of dusty animal bones | 11 |
| #866 | rag doll | 2 |
| #1986 | roll of toilet paper | 4 |
| #111 | scary death orb | 1 |
| #352 | shingle | 15 |
| #908 | sock monkey | 2 |
| #106 | spandex anniversary shorts | 1 |
| #1479 | spooky hockey mask | 1 |
| #1154 | spooky shrunken head | 1 |
| #672 | stained mattress | 1 |
| #249 | stinky mushroom wine | 1 |
| #397 | stunt nuts | 3 |
| #995 | thin black candle | 32 |
| 🥇 | time sleigh | 1 |
| #3930 | tiny plastic Axe Wound | 1 |
| #3121 | tiny plastic Felonia | 1 |
| #3883 | tiny plastic Iiti Kitty | 1 |
| #1768 | tiny plastic Knob Goblin harem girl | 4 |
| #521 | tiny plastic Scream Queen | 3 |
| #1221 | tiny plastic Spunky Princess | 6 |
| #1763 | tiny plastic XXX pr0n | 4 |
| #4477 | tiny plastic bitchin' meatcar | 1 |
| #4036 | tiny plastic sweet nutcracker | 1 |
| #1202 | toy crazy train | 5 |
| #473 | toy hoverpad | 29 |
| #473 | toy jet pack | 16 |
| #921 | toy maglev monorail | 1 |
| #77 | toy six-seater hovercraft | 1 |
| #1384 | toy train | 1 |
| #907 | toy wheel | 9 |
| #600 | tropical paperweight | 1 |
| #92 | turtle pheromones | 94 |
| #986 | unstable laser battery | 46 |
| #728 | urinal cake | 1 |
| #586 | wang | 1 |
| #474 | water wings | 1 |
| #1934 | whoopie cushion | 1 |
| #2054 | wind-up chattering teeth | 1 |
| #291 | witch hat | 3 |
| #1780 | yellow snowcone | 3 |
| #51 | zen motorcycle | 1 |