| 🥇 | 1/6th Pound Cake | 2,192 |
| #20 | Boris's Helm | 1 |
| #117 | Chester's Aquarius medallion | 1 |
| #182 | Chester's bag of candy | 1 |
| #174 | Chester's cutoffs | 1 |
| #83 | Chester's muscle shirt | 1 |
| #90 | Chester's sunglasses | 1 |
| #51 | ChibiBuddyâ„¢ (off) | 1 |
| 🥇 | Deactivated MiniMechaElf | 1 |
| #29 | Discontentâ„¢ Winter Garden Catalog | 1 |
| #72 | Elvish sunglasses | 1 |
| #84 | Frosty's arm | 1 |
| #196 | Frosty's nailbat | 1 |
| #52 | Greatest American Pants | 1 |
| #548 | Heimandatz's heart | 3 |
| #24 | Hodgman's almanac | 2 |
| #669 | Hodgman's blanket | 1 |
| #173 | Hodgman's journal #3: Pumping Tin | 1 |
| #129 | Hodgman's lobsterskin pants | 1 |
| #144 | Hodgman's porkpie hat | 1 |
| #1287 | Jocko Homo's head | 1 |
| #95 | Mr. Accessory | 2 |
| #216 | Ol' Scratch's ash can | 1 |
| #128 | Ol' Scratch's infernal pitchfork | 1 |
| #99 | Ol' Scratch's manacles | 1 |
| #196 | Ol' Scratch's ol' britches | 1 |
| #186 | Ol' Scratch's stovepipe hat | 1 |
| #187 | Oscus's dumpster waders | 1 |
| #100 | Oscus's flypaper pants | 1 |
| #106 | Oscus's garbage can lid | 1 |
| #8 | Oscus's neverending soda | 1 |
| #53 | Oscus's pelt | 2 |
| #18 | Shot of the Living Dead | 32 |
| #100 | Star Spawn | 1 |
| #10 | The Groose in the Hoose | 1 |
| #9 | The Kloop in the Coop | 1 |
| #38 | The Smith's Tome | 1 |
| 🥇 | Tickle-Me Emilio | 1 |
| #203 | Wand of Oscus | 1 |
| #732 | Yakisoba's hat | 2 |
| #17 | Zombo's empty eye | 1 |
| #182 | Zombo's grievous greaves | 1 |
| #187 | Zombo's shield | 1 |
| #85 | Zombo's skull ring | 1 |
| #50 | Zombo's skullcap | 2 |
| 🥈 | anniversary balsa wood socks | 1 |
| 🥇 | anniversary burlap belt | 1 |
| #227 | anniversary chutney sculpture | 1 |
| 🥈 | anniversary concrete fedora | 1 |
| 🥈 | anniversary safety glass vest | 1 |
| #117 | antique accordion | 1 |
| #9 | avatar of the Unconscious Collective | 1 |
| #260 | bottle of goofballs | 89 |
| #24 | bottle-rocket crossbow | 2 |
| #966 | box of sunshine | 257 |
| #1076 | brick | 26 |
| 🥇 | bucket of anniversary lard | 1 |
| #44 | can of Rain-Doh | 1 |
| #32 | dead guy's memento | 1 |
| #43 | dead guy's piece of double-sided tape | 1 |
| #249 | dead guy's watch | 32 |
| #20 | dead lights pie | 32 |
| #24 | dead meat bun | 32 |
| #135 | deadly lampshade | 7 |
| #10 | dreaming Jung man | 1 |
| #25 | dried gelatinous cube | 1 |
| #118 | duct tape wallet | 24 |
| #14 | fancy black tie | 1 |
| #14 | fancy tophat | 1 |
| #16 | fancy tuxedo pants | 1 |
| #806 | friendly cheez blob | 3 |
| #510 | gold wedding ring | 7 |
| #26 | golden plastic oyster egg | 6 |
| #1210 | heart of the volcano | 3 |
| #231 | hot egg | 1 |
| #4 | hungover chauvinist pig | 1 |
| #43 | jar of anniversary jam | 1 |
| #1004 | macaroni duck | 2 |
| #32 | mutant cactus bud | 1 |
| #30 | mutant fire ant egg | 1 |
| #31 | mutant gila monster egg | 1 |
| #39 | mutant rattlesnake egg | 1 |
| #8 | perfectly ordinary frog | 1 |
| #32 | phish stick | 30 |
| #21 | picture of a dead guy's girlfriend | 32 |
| #23 | pompadour'd puppy | 1 |
| #576 | purple glowstick | 2 |
| #12 | rehearsing dramatic hedgehog | 1 |
| #58 | ridiculous belt | 1 |
| #869 | ridiculous cocktail | 5 |
| #72 | ridiculous earring | 1 |
| #802 | ridiculous sandwich | 5 |
| #65 | ridiculous sunglasses | 1 |
| #14 | siesta-ing Casagnova gnome | 1 |
| #61 | skulldozer egg | 1 |
| #9 | sleeping piano cat | 1 |
| #106 | spandex anniversary shorts | 1 |
| #19 | unemployed hunchbacked minion | 1 |
| #1544 | unusual disco ball | 1 |
| #600 | voodoo snuff | 1 |
| #95 | wriggling severed nose | 1 |