| 🥇 | 1/6th Pound Cake | 2,192 |
| #20 | Boris's Helm | 1 |
| #117 | Chester's Aquarius medallion | 1 |
| #179 | Chester's bag of candy | 1 |
| #174 | Chester's cutoffs | 1 |
| #81 | Chester's muscle shirt | 1 |
| #89 | Chester's sunglasses | 1 |
| #51 | ChibiBuddy™ (off) | 1 |
| 🥇 | Deactivated MiniMechaElf | 1 |
| #30 | Discontent™ Winter Garden Catalog | 1 |
| #73 | Elvish sunglasses | 1 |
| #83 | Frosty's arm | 1 |
| #195 | Frosty's nailbat | 1 |
| #56 | Greatest American Pants | 1 |
| #546 | Heimandatz's heart | 3 |
| #23 | Hodgman's almanac | 2 |
| #665 | Hodgman's blanket | 1 |
| #174 | Hodgman's journal #3: Pumping Tin | 1 |
| #130 | Hodgman's lobsterskin pants | 1 |
| #144 | Hodgman's porkpie hat | 1 |
| #1281 | Jocko Homo's head | 1 |
| #103 | Mr. Accessory | 2 |
| #215 | Ol' Scratch's ash can | 1 |
| #127 | Ol' Scratch's infernal pitchfork | 1 |
| #101 | Ol' Scratch's manacles | 1 |
| #197 | Ol' Scratch's ol' britches | 1 |
| #187 | Ol' Scratch's stovepipe hat | 1 |
| #187 | Oscus's dumpster waders | 1 |
| #100 | Oscus's flypaper pants | 1 |
| #108 | Oscus's garbage can lid | 1 |
| #8 | Oscus's neverending soda | 1 |
| #54 | Oscus's pelt | 2 |
| #16 | Shot of the Living Dead | 32 |
| #98 | Star Spawn | 1 |
| #11 | The Groose in the Hoose | 1 |
| #11 | The Kloop in the Coop | 1 |
| #41 | The Smith's Tome | 1 |
| 🥇 | Tickle-Me Emilio | 1 |
| #203 | Wand of Oscus | 1 |
| #727 | Yakisoba's hat | 2 |
| #17 | Zombo's empty eye | 1 |
| #182 | Zombo's grievous greaves | 1 |
| #188 | Zombo's shield | 1 |
| #85 | Zombo's skull ring | 1 |
| #51 | Zombo's skullcap | 2 |
| 🥈 | anniversary balsa wood socks | 1 |
| 🥇 | anniversary burlap belt | 1 |
| #227 | anniversary chutney sculpture | 1 |
| 🥈 | anniversary concrete fedora | 1 |
| 🥈 | anniversary safety glass vest | 1 |
| #115 | antique accordion | 1 |
| #9 | avatar of the Unconscious Collective | 1 |
| #256 | bottle of goofballs | 89 |
| #25 | bottle-rocket crossbow | 2 |
| #961 | box of sunshine | 257 |
| #1072 | brick | 26 |
| 🥇 | bucket of anniversary lard | 1 |
| #46 | can of Rain-Doh | 1 |
| #32 | dead guy's memento | 1 |
| #43 | dead guy's piece of double-sided tape | 1 |
| #248 | dead guy's watch | 32 |
| #19 | dead lights pie | 32 |
| #25 | dead meat bun | 32 |
| #135 | deadly lampshade | 7 |
| #10 | dreaming Jung man | 1 |
| #24 | dried gelatinous cube | 1 |
| #118 | duct tape wallet | 24 |
| #14 | fancy black tie | 1 |
| #14 | fancy tophat | 1 |
| #16 | fancy tuxedo pants | 1 |
| #801 | friendly cheez blob | 3 |
| #506 | gold wedding ring | 7 |
| #26 | golden plastic oyster egg | 6 |
| #1203 | heart of the volcano | 3 |
| #230 | hot egg | 1 |
| #4 | hungover chauvinist pig | 1 |
| #43 | jar of anniversary jam | 1 |
| #999 | macaroni duck | 2 |
| #33 | mutant cactus bud | 1 |
| #32 | mutant fire ant egg | 1 |
| #33 | mutant gila monster egg | 1 |
| #41 | mutant rattlesnake egg | 1 |
| #9 | perfectly ordinary frog | 1 |
| #31 | phish stick | 30 |
| #21 | picture of a dead guy's girlfriend | 32 |
| #23 | pompadour'd puppy | 1 |
| #576 | purple glowstick | 2 |
| #12 | rehearsing dramatic hedgehog | 1 |
| #58 | ridiculous belt | 1 |
| #869 | ridiculous cocktail | 5 |
| #72 | ridiculous earring | 1 |
| #803 | ridiculous sandwich | 5 |
| #65 | ridiculous sunglasses | 1 |
| #14 | siesta-ing Casagnova gnome | 1 |
| #61 | skulldozer egg | 1 |
| #9 | sleeping piano cat | 1 |
| #106 | spandex anniversary shorts | 1 |
| #19 | unemployed hunchbacked minion | 1 |
| #1533 | unusual disco ball | 1 |
| #600 | voodoo snuff | 1 |
| #96 | wriggling severed nose | 1 |