| #84 | Angry Farmer candy | 2,328 |
| #6 | Crimbomination Contraption | 1 |
| #38 | Crimbuck | 7,610 |
| #190 | Dogsgotnonoz pills | 1 |
| #423 | Eau de Guaneau | 1 |
| #665 | Hodgman's blanket | 1 |
| #628 | Knob Goblin lunchbox | 1 |
| #1133 | Mick's IcyVapoHotness Inhaler | 1 |
| #57 | Mick's IcyVapoHotness Rub | 2,184 |
| #962 | SPF 451 lip balm | 1 |
| #71 | Warm Subject gift certificate | 3,752 |
| #92 | awful poetry journal | 2,564 |
| #753 | bag of lard | 1 |
| #509 | black eyedrops | 1 |
| #564 | bottle of Mystic Shell | 1 |
| #670 | bottle of antifreeze | 1 |
| #680 | bottle of pirate juice | 1 |
| #385 | bottle of rhinoceros hormones | 1 |
| #188 | bowl of oriole's nest soup | 1 |
| #956 | can of spinach | 1 |
| #468 | candy kneecapping stick | 5 |
| #1468 | candy knuckles | 2 |
| #120 | chaos butterfly | 3,596 |
| 🥉 | control crystal | 1 |
| #261 | crystallized memory | 1 |
| #200 | cube of billiard chalk | 1 |
| #268 | cyclops eyedrops | 1 |
| #982 | distilled fortified wine | 1 |
| #110 | disturbing fanfic | 2,207 |
| #655 | donkey flipbook | 1 |
| #761 | fake blood | 1 |
| #147 | filthy lucre | 181 |
| #692 | [2426]fire flower | 1 |
| #165 | floaty inverse geode | 1 |
| #281 | freezerburned ice cube | 1 |
| #69 | furry fur | 3,117 |
| #50 | giant needle | 2,195 |
| #3467 | grue egg | 4 |
| #53 | heavy D | 3,155 |
| #201 | irradiated pet snacks | 1 |
| #1453 | jawbruiser | 2 |
| #627 | licorice garrote | 4 |
| #105 | misfit hobby horse | 1 |
| #59 | original G | 3,145 |
| #85 | plot hole | 3,652 |
| #530 | poltergeist-in-the-jar-o | 1 |
| #45 | probability potion | 2,503 |
| #45 | procrastination potion | 2,698 |
| #41 | rave whistle | 389 |
| #683 | scented massage oil | 1 |
| #309 | shrinking powder | 1 |
| #190 | six-pack of New Cloaca-Cola | 1 |
| #724 | tasty tart | 1 |
| #536 | teeny-tiny magic scroll | 1 |
| #89 | thin black candle | 4,120 |
| #649 | tiny plastic 11 Dealer | 1 |
| #620 | tiny plastic Crimbo Casino | 1 |
| #577 | tiny plastic Crimbomination | 1 |
| #632 | tiny plastic Don Crimbo | 1 |
| #585 | tiny plastic stocking mimic | 1 |
| #71 | wolf mask | 849 |