| #27 | Ax of L'rose | 1 |
| #932 | Better Than Cuddling Cake | 1 |
| #935 | Breathetasticâ„¢ Premium Canned Air | 3 |
| #582 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 1) | 2 |
| #1013 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 2) | 1 |
| #1053 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 3) | 1 |
| #1020 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 4) | 1 |
| #1009 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 5) | 1 |
| #1033 | CRIMBCO mug | 8 |
| #101 | Cinco Mayo Lager | 3 |
| #1237 | Cold Hots candy | 1 |
| #238 | Crimbo wreath | 3 |
| #6 | Crimbomination Contraption | 1 |
| #2374 | Crimboween memo | 1 |
| #1373 | Crimbuck | 279 |
| #1338 | Daffy Taffy | 12 |
| #1155 | Dickory Farms Gift Basket | 3 |
| #999 | Instant Karma | 2 |
| #1287 | Jocko Homo's head | 1 |
| #92 | Ol' Scratch's stove door | 1 |
| #2360 | Pan-Dimensional Gargle Blaster | 1 |
| #2229 | Rock Pops | 6 |
| #887 | Schrödinger's thermos | 4 |
| 🥈 | The Spirit of Crimbo | 1 |
| 🥈 | Underworld acorn | 1 |
| #1625 | Valentine | 5 |
| #187 | Wolfman Nardz | 9 |
| #1860 | Yummy Tummy bean | 48 |
| #116 | abandoned candy | 13 |
| #925 | bath ball gift set | 4 |
| #312 | bazookafish bubble gum | 3 |
| #269 | black velvet box | 1 |
| #3305 | blob-shaped Crimbo cookie | 1 |
| #5026 | bottle of goofballs | 1 |
| #771 | bouquet of circular saw blades | 1 |
| #5907 | box of sunshine | 4 |
| #167 | breath mint | 7 |
| #232 | broken carburetor | 1 |
| #249 | calle de miel with a fly in it | 1 |
| #4134 | candy cane | 2 |
| #337 | candy kneecapping stick | 6 |
| #143 | candy knuckles | 13 |
| #939 | chocolate-covered diamond-studded roses | 1 |
| #345 | chocolate-covered scarab beetle | 5 |
| 🥉 | control crystal | 1 |
| #608 | disease | 10 |
| #868 | dusty Crimbo crate | 9 |
| #146 | elven cellocello | 57 |
| #198 | elven suicide capsule | 46 |
| #738 | fetid feather | 1 |
| #498 | flamin' bindle | 1 |
| #856 | flaming feather | 1 |
| #790 | flirtatious feather | 1 |
| #460 | freezin' bindle | 1 |
| #777 | frightful feather | 1 |
| #811 | frozen feather | 1 |
| #151 | gingerbread house | 4 |
| #395 | gob of wet hair | 30 |
| #918 | green beer | 10 |
| #984 | guy made of bee pollen | 1 |
| 🥇 | heart of dark chocolate | 1 |
| #441 | herringcello | 31 |
| #1486 | lavender paisley oyster egg | 2 |
| #178 | leftover Crimbo rations | 1 |
| #796 | lime-and-chile-flavored chewing gum | 5 |
| #278 | memory of a C | 2 |
| #48 | memory of a CA base pair | 2 |
| #91 | memory of a CG base pair | 1 |
| #238 | memory of a G | 3 |
| #269 | memory of an A | 2 |
| #89 | memory of an AG base pair | 1 |
| #171 | memory of some delicious amino acids | 6 |
| #3075 | nanite-infested candy cane | 2 |
| #346 | off-white plastic oyster egg | 13 |
| #1890 | oyster basket | 1 |
| #172 | passable elf mask | 16 |
| #293 | pig-iron bracers | 1 |
| #242 | plastic Crimbo reindeer | 3 |
| #228 | raffle prize box | 1 |
| #158 | ribbon candy | 9 |
| #402 | roasted marshmallow | 76 |
| #182 | rockin' wagon with a fly in it | 1 |
| #2416 | sandwich of the gods | 1 |
| #124 | secret from the future | 1 |
| #368 | shimmering rainbow sand | 1 |
| #511 | sleazy bindle | 1 |
| #554 | spooky bindle | 1 |
| #65 | squirmy violent party snack | 1 |
| #493 | stinkin' bindle | 1 |
| #224 | string of Crimbo lights | 3 |
| #410 | stuffed Hodgman | 1 |
| #1875 | stuffed crazy bastard sword | 1 |
| #1714 | stuffed ninja snowman | 1 |
| #228 | sturdy Crimbo crate | 83 |
| #2177 | tiny plastic 7-foot dwarf | 3 |
| #2119 | tiny plastic Axe Wound | 3 |
| #2810 | tiny plastic Black Knight | 2 |
| #2068 | tiny plastic Bonerdagon | 2 |
| #3079 | tiny plastic Boss Bat | 1 |
| #3348 | tiny plastic Cheshire bat | 5 |
| #4310 | tiny plastic Crimbo elf | 1 |
| #3830 | tiny plastic G Imp | 1 |
| #3954 | tiny plastic Gnollish crossdresser | 1 |
| #2164 | tiny plastic Gnomester Blomester | 3 |
| #2171 | tiny plastic Hellion | 3 |
| #2827 | tiny plastic Iiti Kitty | 2 |
| #2772 | tiny plastic Knob Goblin mad scientist | 2 |
| #2794 | tiny plastic Knott Yeti | 2 |
| #3892 | tiny plastic Spunky Princess | 1 |
| #2059 | tiny plastic The Man | 2 |
| #3927 | tiny plastic Trouser Snake | 1 |
| #2947 | tiny plastic Uncle Crimbo | 1 |
| #3857 | tiny plastic XXX pr0n | 1 |
| #4543 | tiny plastic accordion thief | 1 |
| #2858 | tiny plastic angry bugbear | 2 |
| #8212 | tiny plastic angry goat | 1 |
| #2193 | tiny plastic anime smiley | 3 |
| #2791 | tiny plastic apathetic lizardman | 2 |
| #3979 | tiny plastic astronomer | 1 |
| #8250 | tiny plastic baby gravy fairy | 1 |
| #8128 | tiny plastic barrrnacle | 1 |
| #3964 | tiny plastic beanbat | 1 |
| #3306 | tiny plastic blood-faced volleyball | 5 |
| #2796 | tiny plastic blooper | 2 |
| #2851 | tiny plastic brainsweeper | 2 |
| #1448 | tiny plastic briefcase bat | 5 |
| #8095 | tiny plastic cocoabo | 1 |
| #3958 | tiny plastic coffee pixie | 4 |
| #3178 | tiny plastic conservationist hippy | 1 |
| #3937 | tiny plastic demoninja | 1 |
| #4498 | tiny plastic disco bandit | 1 |
| #3877 | tiny plastic drunk goat | 1 |
| #3921 | tiny plastic fluffy bunny | 1 |
| #8152 | tiny plastic fuzzy dice | 1 |
| #6233 | tiny plastic ghost pickle on a stick | 2 |
| #8093 | tiny plastic ghuol whelp | 1 |
| #2804 | tiny plastic giant pair of tweezers | 2 |
| #3860 | tiny plastic goth giant | 1 |
| #6100 | tiny plastic grue | 2 |
| #2707 | tiny plastic hermit | 2 |
| #6149 | tiny plastic howling balloon monkey | 2 |
| #3902 | tiny plastic killer bee | 4 |
| #3891 | tiny plastic lemon-in-the-box | 1 |
| #6171 | tiny plastic leprechaun | 2 |
| #8102 | tiny plastic levitating potato | 1 |
| #2729 | tiny plastic lobsterfrogman | 2 |
| #8112 | tiny plastic mosquito | 1 |
| #3995 | tiny plastic ninja snowman | 1 |
| #2601 | tiny plastic pastamancer | 2 |
| #8101 | tiny plastic sabre-toothed lime | 1 |
| #4467 | tiny plastic sauceror | 1 |
| #3892 | tiny plastic scary clown | 1 |
| #3838 | tiny plastic spiny skelelton | 1 |
| #6201 | tiny plastic spooky pirate skeleton | 2 |
| #2826 | tiny plastic spooky vampire | 2 |
| #3949 | tiny plastic stab bat | 4 |
| #4892 | tiny plastic star starfish | 3 |
| #4038 | tiny plastic sweet nutcracker | 1 |
| #4481 | tiny plastic turtle tamer | 1 |
| #1706 | tiny plastic warwelf | 4 |
| #3851 | tiny plastic whitesnake | 1 |
| #3145 | tree-eating kite | 1 |
| #1237 | useless powder | 20 |
| #125 | wad of cotton | 22 |
| #40 | world's most unappetizing beverage | 2 |