| #27 | Ax of L'rose | 1 |
| #931 | Better Than Cuddling Cake | 1 |
| #932 | Breathetastic™ Premium Canned Air | 3 |
| #583 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 1) | 2 |
| #1013 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 2) | 1 |
| #1054 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 3) | 1 |
| #1020 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 4) | 1 |
| #1009 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 5) | 1 |
| #1035 | CRIMBCO mug | 8 |
| #101 | Cinco Mayo Lager | 3 |
| #1236 | Cold Hots candy | 1 |
| #239 | Crimbo wreath | 3 |
| #6 | Crimbomination Contraption | 1 |
| #2376 | Crimboween memo | 1 |
| #1375 | Crimbuck | 279 |
| #1339 | Daffy Taffy | 12 |
| #1153 | Dickory Farms Gift Basket | 3 |
| #987 | Instant Karma | 2 |
| #1281 | Jocko Homo's head | 1 |
| #93 | Ol' Scratch's stove door | 1 |
| #2357 | Pan-Dimensional Gargle Blaster | 1 |
| #2229 | Rock Pops | 6 |
| #887 | Schrödinger's thermos | 4 |
| 🥈 | The Spirit of Crimbo | 1 |
| 🥈 | Underworld acorn | 1 |
| #1623 | Valentine | 5 |
| #188 | Wolfman Nardz | 9 |
| #1861 | Yummy Tummy bean | 48 |
| #116 | abandoned candy | 13 |
| #925 | bath ball gift set | 4 |
| #311 | bazookafish bubble gum | 3 |
| #269 | black velvet box | 1 |
| #3304 | blob-shaped Crimbo cookie | 1 |
| #5030 | bottle of goofballs | 1 |
| #771 | bouquet of circular saw blades | 1 |
| #5906 | box of sunshine | 4 |
| #166 | breath mint | 7 |
| #232 | broken carburetor | 1 |
| #247 | calle de miel with a fly in it | 1 |
| #4135 | candy cane | 2 |
| #334 | candy kneecapping stick | 6 |
| #143 | candy knuckles | 13 |
| #938 | chocolate-covered diamond-studded roses | 1 |
| #344 | chocolate-covered scarab beetle | 5 |
| 🥉 | control crystal | 1 |
| #607 | disease | 10 |
| #868 | dusty Crimbo crate | 9 |
| #145 | elven cellocello | 57 |
| #198 | elven suicide capsule | 46 |
| #736 | fetid feather | 1 |
| #497 | flamin' bindle | 1 |
| #856 | flaming feather | 1 |
| #789 | flirtatious feather | 1 |
| #460 | freezin' bindle | 1 |
| #776 | frightful feather | 1 |
| #810 | frozen feather | 1 |
| #152 | gingerbread house | 4 |
| #395 | gob of wet hair | 30 |
| #918 | green beer | 10 |
| #981 | guy made of bee pollen | 1 |
| 🥇 | heart of dark chocolate | 1 |
| #440 | herringcello | 31 |
| #1485 | lavender paisley oyster egg | 2 |
| #178 | leftover Crimbo rations | 1 |
| #796 | lime-and-chile-flavored chewing gum | 5 |
| #279 | memory of a C | 2 |
| #47 | memory of a CA base pair | 2 |
| #90 | memory of a CG base pair | 1 |
| #240 | memory of a G | 3 |
| #270 | memory of an A | 2 |
| #89 | memory of an AG base pair | 1 |
| #171 | memory of some delicious amino acids | 6 |
| #3078 | nanite-infested candy cane | 2 |
| #346 | off-white plastic oyster egg | 13 |
| #1887 | oyster basket | 1 |
| #172 | passable elf mask | 16 |
| #293 | pig-iron bracers | 1 |
| #243 | plastic Crimbo reindeer | 3 |
| #224 | raffle prize box | 1 |
| #157 | ribbon candy | 9 |
| #402 | roasted marshmallow | 76 |
| #182 | rockin' wagon with a fly in it | 1 |
| #2410 | sandwich of the gods | 1 |
| #126 | secret from the future | 1 |
| #368 | shimmering rainbow sand | 1 |
| #512 | sleazy bindle | 1 |
| #555 | spooky bindle | 1 |
| #65 | squirmy violent party snack | 1 |
| #492 | stinkin' bindle | 1 |
| #225 | string of Crimbo lights | 3 |
| #408 | stuffed Hodgman | 1 |
| #1867 | stuffed crazy bastard sword | 1 |
| #1711 | stuffed ninja snowman | 1 |
| #227 | sturdy Crimbo crate | 83 |
| #2176 | tiny plastic 7-foot dwarf | 3 |
| #2117 | tiny plastic Axe Wound | 3 |
| #2806 | tiny plastic Black Knight | 2 |
| #2064 | tiny plastic Bonerdagon | 2 |
| #3073 | tiny plastic Boss Bat | 1 |
| #3339 | tiny plastic Cheshire bat | 5 |
| #4308 | tiny plastic Crimbo elf | 1 |
| #3826 | tiny plastic G Imp | 1 |
| #3951 | tiny plastic Gnollish crossdresser | 1 |
| #2160 | tiny plastic Gnomester Blomester | 3 |
| #2167 | tiny plastic Hellion | 3 |
| #2824 | tiny plastic Iiti Kitty | 2 |
| #2767 | tiny plastic Knob Goblin mad scientist | 2 |
| #2792 | tiny plastic Knott Yeti | 2 |
| #3885 | tiny plastic Spunky Princess | 1 |
| #2053 | tiny plastic The Man | 2 |
| #3919 | tiny plastic Trouser Snake | 1 |
| #2947 | tiny plastic Uncle Crimbo | 1 |
| #3850 | tiny plastic XXX pr0n | 1 |
| #4533 | tiny plastic accordion thief | 1 |
| #2855 | tiny plastic angry bugbear | 2 |
| #8194 | tiny plastic angry goat | 1 |
| #2189 | tiny plastic anime smiley | 3 |
| #2788 | tiny plastic apathetic lizardman | 2 |
| #3973 | tiny plastic astronomer | 1 |
| #8239 | tiny plastic baby gravy fairy | 1 |
| #8107 | tiny plastic barrrnacle | 1 |
| #3959 | tiny plastic beanbat | 1 |
| #3297 | tiny plastic blood-faced volleyball | 5 |
| #2791 | tiny plastic blooper | 2 |
| #2844 | tiny plastic brainsweeper | 2 |
| #1447 | tiny plastic briefcase bat | 5 |
| #8079 | tiny plastic cocoabo | 1 |
| #3951 | tiny plastic coffee pixie | 4 |
| #3166 | tiny plastic conservationist hippy | 1 |
| #3931 | tiny plastic demoninja | 1 |
| #4490 | tiny plastic disco bandit | 1 |
| #3869 | tiny plastic drunk goat | 1 |
| #3913 | tiny plastic fluffy bunny | 1 |
| #8143 | tiny plastic fuzzy dice | 1 |
| #6225 | tiny plastic ghost pickle on a stick | 2 |
| #8077 | tiny plastic ghuol whelp | 1 |
| #2802 | tiny plastic giant pair of tweezers | 2 |
| #3854 | tiny plastic goth giant | 1 |
| #6082 | tiny plastic grue | 2 |
| #2703 | tiny plastic hermit | 2 |
| #6135 | tiny plastic howling balloon monkey | 2 |
| #3897 | tiny plastic killer bee | 4 |
| #3889 | tiny plastic lemon-in-the-box | 1 |
| #6159 | tiny plastic leprechaun | 2 |
| #8086 | tiny plastic levitating potato | 1 |
| #2725 | tiny plastic lobsterfrogman | 2 |
| #8097 | tiny plastic mosquito | 1 |
| #3992 | tiny plastic ninja snowman | 1 |
| #2595 | tiny plastic pastamancer | 2 |
| #8089 | tiny plastic sabre-toothed lime | 1 |
| #4458 | tiny plastic sauceror | 1 |
| #3886 | tiny plastic scary clown | 1 |
| #3828 | tiny plastic spiny skelelton | 1 |
| #6186 | tiny plastic spooky pirate skeleton | 2 |
| #2824 | tiny plastic spooky vampire | 2 |
| #3940 | tiny plastic stab bat | 4 |
| #4881 | tiny plastic star starfish | 3 |
| #4038 | tiny plastic sweet nutcracker | 1 |
| #4474 | tiny plastic turtle tamer | 1 |
| #1703 | tiny plastic warwelf | 4 |
| #3843 | tiny plastic whitesnake | 1 |
| #3146 | tree-eating kite | 1 |
| #1238 | useless powder | 20 |
| #125 | wad of cotton | 22 |
| #40 | world's most unappetizing beverage | 2 |